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surprise!.png
Dysfunctional Nuts
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.51841
53658
Can the party avoid tearing each-other's throat out? Can they successfully complete the dungeon and rid Port Barry of the giant glass octahedron that sits motionless a short way off the docks? Will GM have an aneurysm from it all?

Welcome back to the Nuts RP thread, where new faggots (players) are always welcome and previous faggots interact based increasingly loosely on D&D 3.5e core rules.

This thread begins with Thez completing a marvelous and unplanned concert now that she can cast "Dancing lights!" again, and a large crowd has formed around the square, where both Infernius and Trump appear to be intending to address the crowd, Thez having vacated the impromptu stage with several bouquets of flowers and adoring cheers from the crowd.
She has obscene skill pertaining to "Perform"
1780 replies and 205 files omitted.
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52249
52250
>>52246
"fuck, what have I gotten myself into"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52250
52252
8ca.jpg
>>52247
>'When we finally settle down to raise our foals, I want to buy up a vast, lush, green, private meadow, so you can ride me there every day. I want to carry you too and from your golfing sessions and watch our foals chase each other in through the fields.'
>>52249
>[DOOT]

Anonymous
LJZcR
?
No.52251
52253
>>52245
Damn you
Pretty prancing predatory powerful periwinkle pastel pony proficiently pounds and presses her pink plump puffy pony pussy on the party's proud professional presidential padalin's penis, passionately pumping her partner's private post-preformance payment in her prior to the pair passing out.
Night faggots
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52252
52254
>>52250
"hahaha"
*nervous laughter*
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.52253
>>52251
Night dude, see ya. We didn't get much done, but I think it'll be better even still
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52254
52255
>>52252
*smooches*
*gazes dreamily with bedroom eyes, batting eyelashes*
*boops nose-to-nose*
"~Teeheehee!"
*passionate giggling*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52255
52256
>>52254
*humps more and offers more liquid, in hopes of placating the beast, all while staring into its eyes*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52256
52257
>>52255
*Stares back*
"Neigh." she coos softly
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52257
52258
>>52256
"Neigh what, pony?"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52258
52259
>>52257
"~Nothing." she giggles out, her eyes gleaming
*nuzzles*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52259
52260
>>52258
*nuzzles back*
halp
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52260
52261
>>52259
*Just lays there beaming, though still pumping slowly*
*smiles affectionately, just happy to have him around*
[happy pony noises]
>implying you can escape
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52261
52262
>>52260
*He rubs his hands down each side of her, from her mane down her flanks, even though it only accentuates the sexuality of the creature*
*he is now in pain, but still must fuck the creature*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52262
52263
>>52261
*continues pounding with her relentless, gentle, rhythmic bounces still staring with those faintly-glowing green eyes*
"I want all of your love, Flashy."
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52263
52264
>>52262
"But Pony, I am not sure I have much more to give"
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52264
52265
>>52263
*humping intensifies*
*fiery green eyes stare into soul*
"All of you, Flashy..."
*snort in petite excitement*
"I'll give my everything to you, Flashy; please give your love me."
GTyOx
?
No.52265
52266 52268
[1d20 = 15]
>>52264
That's it. Smite this succubus bitch. With both penis and hands on her supple teats. Dice cause dice are fun
GTyOx
?
No.52266
52267 52268
[3d20 = 31]
>>52265
more dice!

*pounds pony*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52267
>>52266
>1
*ejaculates when not intending
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52268
52269
>>52265
"~AYE!"
>>52266
"Pfft!
You're so cute, Flashy."
GTyOx
?
No.52269
52270
[4d20 = 39]
>>52268
Rub horse teats!
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52270
52271
>>52269
>crit
*milks a little bit*
GTyOx
?
No.52271
52272
[4d20 = 43]
>>52270
BELLY WUBS!!!!
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52272
>>52271
Could be improved
"~Aaaaaaaaah..." she sighs contently
*gets up*
*drags paladin back to the tower*

GTyOx
?
No.52274
[4d20 = 50]
>Talks to an associate later
>"Where have you been"
>"I failed a handle animal check and was ravaged by a demonic horse for like two hours"
>"Uh... did you mean to day 'ravaged'?"
>*Cries to self* "Yes..."
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52275
52276
Tracy has been very, very vocal about her sexual endeavors with Brad, around town, as to ward-off other females that might try to approach him by letting them all know he belongs to her.
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52276
52277
>>52275
Reeeeeeeeee
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52277
52278
>>52276
"We're not done!"
*grabs paladin and tosses him onto a Clydesdale-sized bed* (much more comfortable than the back-alley pavement)
*continues relentless, lewd, possessive snuggling*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52278
52279
>>52277
*casts necessary cure spells on self*

"At least the surface is soft... Looks like I'm going for a ride..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSUBuVdkskA
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52279
52280
>>52278
"We're going to be here all night long."
*showers him in kisses*
*snuffs out torches, so only her flames illuminate the room*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52280
52281
>>52279
*sighs, but hugs horsey*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52281
52282
>>52280
*moans, still snuggling him to pieces with her powerful horse chest*
*lays beside paladin*
"Is there something wrong, Flashy? I know we didn't get to go zombie-hunting today, but we will next time.:
*nuzzles chest affectionately*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52282
52283
>>52281
"I guess not"
*starts removing armor, so he can feel the full fluff of the horse against him as he lay there*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52283
52284
>>52282
nuzzles all over his body, as if checking him for wounds, before happily laying against him, her massive flank rising and falling with her deep, powerful breaths*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52284
52285
>>52283
*still holds an erection after hours and at least a half dozen ejaculations. Because horse is just that damned sexy*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52285
52286
>>52284
>not sticking it in and riding it all out in his sleep
*engulfs erection with tight, hot, quivering marepussy*
[sleepy horse noises]
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52286
52287
>>52285
*pets horsey*
*falls asleep in horsey, occasionally humping, but always holding her in his arms*
Mrs. Sentry
PHGLm
?
No.52287
>>52286
*curls up around paladin*
*drifts off to sleep*
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.52288
52290
*puts thez in pocket*
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.52290
52294
>>52288
>sleepily pokes head out
"Hmmmm,... need covfefe,"
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.52294
52296
>>52290
*walks to mess area*
*orders covfefe*
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52295
52296
Waking up with restored vigor, Trumpaladin sees that the beast horse has been reduced to a little blue pony.

*Turns over on top of pony, and sexes pony*
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.52296
52297 52298
bones.png
>>52295
>revenge sex
>>52294
>Bones doots dootifully and swiftly prepares a pot and proffers two cups.
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.52297
52298 52304
>>52296
I forget what covfefe soes but ill drink it anyway.
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.52298
52299
>>52296
Thez <whooooof> appears full-size I guess she shrinks when in pocket? I'm not sure how that works, but its much more adorable to "goes to room" or whatever and it doesn't affect gameplay in any significant manner so I'm going with it and takes one of the cups, allowing Bones to fill.
>>52297
I haven't. ^_^
Anonymous
GTyOx
?
No.52299
52306
>>52298
Trumpaladin should probably quit drinking covfefe

*finishes pony*
BK2bC
?
No.52300
52302
[1d100 = 44]
Thez makes a "Tch" sound and says, "Curses, no cream or sugar. One moment." <whooooof> ... <whoooof> she reappears with two small, slender pitchers. She hands them to Bones before taking a long sip, after which she immediately starts giggling.
Anonymous
C6gcl
?
No.52302
52303
>>52300
"What so funny?"
Anonymous
BK2bC
?
No.52303
52307
>>52302
Infernius' question sets her into a more intense fit of giggles. "I... have no idea," she squeezes out, sipping occasionally from her covfefe.
Anonymous
PHGLm
?
No.52304
52305
>>52297
Roll 1d100