/overboard/ - Overboard

>>297282
>WTF i like FNAF now.
https://twitter.com/IAmGryphoneer/status/1403037291187257344
Seriously though these comments are hilarious.

>>310394
It's like everyone forgot that he made Christian games before FNAF.

Project Veritas
>Oh Boy, This Was Brilliant – Fox Journalist in Texas Uses Live Broadcast Opportunity to Notify Public of Network Censorship
>“Whenever possible, throw sand in the machinery”
>A brilliant display of strategy as Fox26 (Houston, Texas) Journalist Ivory Hecker uses a live broadcast to notify her audience that Fox News has been censoring the content of media reporting for ideological reasons.
>The network couldn’t block the transmission because it was live, and they didn’t know it was coming.
https://theconservativetreehouse.com/blog/2021/06/14/oh-boy-this-was-brilliant-fox-journalist-in-texas-uses-live-broadcast-opportunity-to-notify-public-of-network-censorship/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDWbfsf8XPA

>>310553
Interdasting

>>310499
Takk så meget.

>>310500
How about Trottingham for england? All pony lands are ponyland.

>>310422
Basneed and Chuckpilled

>>310522
First attempt at "Beyond Her Garden"
>Currage, lives within us
>Is a part of, our kingdom
>Keep your kind close, they're what makes you
>To the glory, that is pony...

>Toddler falls from home window, mauled to death by family's 2 pit bulls when he lands
>Neighbors say that the mother immediately reacted and went to rescue her son but that it was a horrendous scene as she tried to pull the dogs off of the little boy.
https://6abc.com/toddler-falls-from-home-window-mauled-to-death-by-familys-2-pit-bulls-when-he-lands/10780197/
Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIqAC_vu8TQ

Nothing interesting is going on?

>>310543
Dude, YES. You're a fucking genius!

Come to think of it, the most OP thing about LP is probably her overwhelming telekinetic strength. Her ideas for solving problems "creatively" usually rely on her overwhelming (amd able to pull new powers out of nowhere like manipulating objects you cant see and the internals of safes) telekinesis to lift heavy things to squish foes, lift sharp rocks to behead them, lift grenades into dragon mouths and unpin them all without being able to see them, lift herself and radioactive bulletproof goo into a ceiling hatch while unlocking the door magically without needing to bother with a lockpick, and so on. The pink fart clouds won't take her telekinesis away.

For the Pink Farts Arc to really qualify as a "No Gear Level" and force Littlepip down into an intimate dangerous place where she has to scavenge supplies and fear traps, her OP telekinesis needs to go away. Them again LP needs psychic powers to use her guns. Guns designed for human hands by earth ponies for no reason. Robbing LP of her ability to self levitate over landmines is necessary to make landmines a threat but removing her ability to wield a weapon in anything but her whore mouth might be a bit much.

Could use some Old World Blues lobotomite bullshit for an excuse for the sudden depowering, blame a glitching Canterlot magic power plant that now absorbs magic from the air and living ponies, or say Pink Cloud was designed to fuck Unicorn horns up so lifting anything too heavy or exerting too much telekinetic force can fuck the horn up for good/attract enemy attention. Enemies that are hard and economically taxing and exhausting to kill. Ammo shortages should force LP out of murderhobo mode. Every melee kill should come with injuries LP has to deal with because health potions are precious and rare.

Oh, and some new monsters should force LP to enter this town without food because they smell food from miles away or something. Hmm, what if Pink Cloud also disabled health potions or turned them toxic? Pink Cloud could also magically make inhabitants see mirages and dead friends, for tragic edgy scenes where LP faces those she's killed and shooting any of them means wasting ammo on illusions and attracting monsters with the sound of gunfire.

>>310545
It makes people laugh when it isn't supposed to. If it was played for laughs the author would write it as the punchline for jokes and want people to laugh at it. Kkat wants everyone to weep for LP like the false-faced virtue-signallers in his comment section trying to look harmless and girly and overemotional.

>>310523

Page break. Another excerpt from the journal of Midnight Shower. We skip to Day 7:

In what I'm sure is only a strange coincidence, this entry happens to deal with the ruined bath house that LP & Co. just visited. In its heyday, the bath house was...well, a bath house; a public bathing area that doubled as a sort of zebra social hub. We also learn that wartime Equestria had its own version of SJW retards:

>I was astonished to discover there were ponies living in Zebratown. Only a hoof-full, I am told, but there are ponies who have chosen to live their lives in this place. On purpose. I had the opportunity to converse with one such pony at the bath house, a delightful peasant mare named Daisy. It is Daisy’s assertion that she chose to live here because the zebras need to be reminded that not all ponies are, in her words, “xenophobic bigots.”

This paragraph is also noteworthy:

>Upon leaving the bath house, I noticed several zebra colts quickly attempting to hide an inhaler, looking for all the land like they had been caught by their parents reading an issue of Wingboner Magazine. I am hardly a pony to know about such things, but I suspect they were using illegal zebra-imported pharmaceuticals. Perhaps the constables need to be keeping a better watch.

I'm not sure whether or not the satire was intentional based on prior experience I suspect not, but kkat actually does a pretty good mimic of progressive/SJW hypocrisy here. The cultured, progressive Canterlot ponies consider themselves above the bigoted commoners who are cautious of zebras just because their country is engaged in a bloody life and death struggle with them. So, the Canterlot ponies intentionally befriend zebras just to show how not-bigoted and not-common they are; however, they have a curious habit of treating their zebra "friends" like pets or research specimens. Here are the main bullet points of the situation:

>Equestria is at war with zebras, but has a zebra minority population
>the Equestrian zebras obviously need to be segregated for "their" safety
>it's not because the Canterlot ponies are afraid of them or anything, it's just because all the primitive bigoted redneck ponies might attack them
>well-educated, cultured ponies, obviously, are above such prejudices
>a number of them have even opted to live in Zebratown just to signal how progressive and open-minded they are
>surely the zebras would be grateful for such magnanimity; obviously these poor, oppressed, backwards creatures need to know that there are ponies looking out for them
>oh but look, some of them are doing drugs, the poor dears
>better get some more cops in here, for "their" safety

Again, I rather suspect that the satire here is unintentional, but it's some damn good satire nonetheless.

Anyway, the rest of this deals with the zebras' weird anti-space religion, the tenets of which still have not been properly explained. Midnight Shower finds that everywhere she goes, zebras freak out because of her cutie mark. I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, but her cutie mark depicts a meteor shower; thus, it resembles stars and scares the zebras. Poor, silly, backwards creatures with their wacky superstitions; good thing they have magnanimous ponies like Midnight Shower to befriend them and look out for them.

Page break. Back to Littlepoop and her friends. We are once again unceremoniously dropped into the middle of a fight scene. They are still in the sewer tunnels, and for some reason there is also an alicorn. SteelHooves fires a bunch of missiles at the alicorn, which explode harmlessly against her impenetrable magic shield. One of these days someone is going to have to sit kkat down and explain to him why firing off high-powered explosives in an underground tunnel is a bad idea.

Meanwhile, Littlepoop hacks a terminal that's in the sewer for some reason, and opens a door to a research laboratory, which is also in the sewer for some reason. Inside, she finds three zombras which she proceeds to gun down without incident. SteelHooves, for some reason, starts firing off explosives all over the place. Even Calamity objects to this, and urges him to calm the fuck down and stop firing grenades. As usual, there is no structural damage to the surrounding architecture, none of these poorly-maintained 200 year old tunnels collapse on them, and nopony suffers any permanent hearing loss as a result of multiple grenades exploding simultaneously in an enclosed chamber with stone walls.

Incidentally, SteelHooves also set a proximity mine on the door-terminal before the party ran in here. They hear it explode from inside; presumably, the alicorn set it off and died. So, basically, here is the situation: the party runs inside this small, underground research lab surrounded by stone walls on all sides, fires off a fuckton of grenades to kill a couple of straggling zombies, and takes no damage as a result. Meanwhile, the alicorn in the hallway trips a proximity mine that SteelHooves placed on the door, even though she logically would have been able to see him set the mine. Despite the fact that this same alicorn just survived a barrage of missiles, this single small explosion manages to kill her. Naturally, the crumbling underground tunnel around them is still 100% intact.

Anyway, Littlepoop was bitten by one of the zebras and took some poison damage. Xenith tries to brew her an anti-zombie-poison potion, but is bitten by another zombie in the process. Apparently, one of the zombies somehow survived having 80 grenades flung at it. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Midnight Shower, Day 13.

Despite the zebras' intense fear of anything to do with stars, Midnight finds that most of them don't know anything about their own folklore and can't answer her questions. For some reason, the ponies in Zebratown are harassing the zebras and vandalizing their property, even though they are here ostensibly as a gesture of goodwill. Nothing else happens.

>>310557

Page break. Littlepoop again. The gang finishes applying bandages and healing all of the minor damage they sustained during the fight. Littlepoop cracks open the wall safe in the laboratory because she's a klepto, and finds some more random junk she doesn't need, which she proceeds to take with her anyway. For some reason, Xenith wants to come back to this laboratory when they're done with whatever they're supposed to be doing here (I think they're still looking for kidnapped zebras, but who even knows anymore), so LP marks the location on her map.

LP and SteelHooves leave through a door on the opposite side, saying that they are going to scout ahead. They haven't gone very far when they spy two alicorns, who are holding back a metric fuckton of water using their shield. Suddenly, the alicorn they fought before, which I guess wasn't quite killed by the proximity mine, teleports in. It says "gotcha," and then all three of them teleport away. This causes the shield to disappear, releasing the water.

Page break. The alicorns' trick with the water was probably the first halfway-clever thing that kkat has had them do thus far, so I'm going to award him a couple of points here. Anyway, Littlepoop is now being washed down the sewer tunnels, fighting for air. She gets bounced around quite a bit, loses her sense of direction, nearly drowns, but then doesn't.

>I coughed up water, my head splitting in pain, my horn feeling like it was about to explode. My eyes were red with bloody tears.
Lol. Never change, kkat. Never change.

Anyway, another one of those haunted broadcaster thingies is nearby; it turns out that this is the reason her eyes are crying tears of blood and here I'd just assumed it was because she was goffik. Anyway, she dives down under the water, finds a skeleton with a PipBuck on its arm that contains the ghostly broadcaster, and throws it into the stream so it gets washed away. It turns out that she was washed up against some bars of a drainage tunnel that leads out into the open air. She holds herself against the bars treading water for awhile until eventually the stream dies down, and then finds SteelHooves, who also survived. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Midnight Shower, Day 23:

Midnight finds that she is getting settled into the town, and has found a contact who seems to know something about zebra folklore, a prisoner being held on an unknown charge. Meanwhile, it seems that all of the ziggers in town are getting hooked on a drug called Dash, which was probably introduced to them by the Equestrian CIA. The increased drug use is contributing to the rising incidents of petty crime in Zebratown. Midnight catches a couple of ponies who were trying to sneak liquor into the town for some reason. Nothing else happens.

Page break. Back to Littlepoop. She and SteelHooves emerge from the sewer. Even though Calamity and Xenith are still in the lab, they are hesitant to go back in there to fetch them, on account of how the alicorns might try to drown them again. LP decides it would be best to send SteelHooves back after them, since he apparently can't drown. As she turns to give him his marching orders, she sees that he has wandered off and is staring at a particular spot of ground.

>“I died here,” he said before falling into a long, strange silence.
Which time?

Page break. Midnight Shower, Day 24:

Midnight is on her way to meet with the local police when she is deterred by some wagons blocking the street. So, she decides to go talk to a guy who owns a store that sells zebra tribal masks, because he might know something about zebra folklore or something. However, she is subsequently deterred from this task as well; she chances upon a group of cops who are in the process of raping a zebra mare. Sacrebleu, le edge!

Before she can intervene, the rape is stopped by a police sergeant named Applesnack, which you may or may not remember was SteelHooves' pre-zombification name. Midnight decides it's about time to write a letter to Princess Celestia, who probably insisted that Midnight inform her, in lurid detail, of any incidents of >rape she might witness while in Zebratown.

Page break. Back to Littlepoop. SteelHooves observes a place in the street where a set of hoofprints have melted into the cobblestones. How exactly hoofprints could melt into cobblestones is a question I'm not even going to bother asking. He steps into them and they fit his hooves perfectly; he casts a mournful gaze up towards Canterlot and proclaims that this is where he stood on the day Equestria died. Cue Don McLean mournfully strumming "Equestrian Pie" in a minor key.

He proceeds to fill us in on a few details of a story we already know the gist of: he and Applejack were in Canterlot, trying to round up ponies and get them to safety, while the missiles pounded the shield over Canterlot. They received word that Cloudsdayle had been obliterated.

>"Applejack excused herself and raced to Ponyville. I…” He gave a shuddering sigh. “I never blamed her for leaving. Or for ordering me to stay. There was no pony to blame but myself.
Did she literally run all the way there? Seems like it would have been quicker to just take her flying chariot or whatever she had. Maybe she forgot to hire a new pilot after "Applesnack" kicked the old one off the roof.

>From the timber in the stoic ghoul’s voice, I could tell my friend was actually crying.
Unless this guy literally has trees in his mouth, I believe the word you're looking for here is "timbre."

>My heart went out to him, unable to bear hearing my stalwart Applejack’s Ranger finally unable to hide his hurt.
Fucking lol. Seriously, though, where was your heart when he got knocked off the fucking airship earlier? Remember, he went careening off the edge of the airship in the middle of a battle, plummeted into a rainy abyss, and was missing for the better part of a day? Ring any bells?

>>310569

He keeps going:

>We had been trying to repair our relationship ever since the night she had seen the darkness in me.
Which night was this? Was it the night you put on mascara and sang My Chemical Romance songs to her while your wrists cried tears of blood?

Anyway, the rest of SteelHooves' anecdote is, again, mostly just filling in the details of a story that we've already heard. However, one of those details elevates this already-hilarious scene to new levels of tragicomedy:

>“The Princesses’ shield was huge,” he reminded me. “Several hundred yards above the city, the shield bisected the waterfalls that pour down into Canterlot. All that water came down and had no place to go. It pooled in the bottom of the shield as the missiles began impacting from above.
>“Water absorbs the Pink Cloud all too readily. When the shield collapsed, that water fell down on Zebratown like a tidal wave from the sky. Except the water was saturated pink. That wave washed over the town and everypony… everyone left inside it.”
Seriously, think about this for a minute. You've got a city on a cliff, with a river running through it that cascades off the cliff into a waterfall. At some point, you need to shield the city from missiles, so you construct a magical shield that for all practical purposes functions as a physical barrier surrounding the city. Apparently, this barrier is not porous enough for water to flow through, so...what? You've effectively dammed the river, and Canterlot is now contained in a giant bubble that is slowly filling up with water? Did the Princesses really think this one through properly? Even if we forget about all the pink cloud stuff for the moment, what exactly was the plan here? Put up a shield to protect everypony from the barrage of missiles, only to have them all drown when the flood waters fill up the bubble?

There's another thing here too: if water can't get out of the shield, how exactly is it getting in? The ingress side of the bubble is water-porous but the egress side isn't? What kind of retarded spell design is that? If you have the capability to make parts of the shield porous, why not have it so the water flows out but not in? That way the water that's already in Canterlot would just drain out. And if you can't make it porous at all, then logically shouldn't the river just flow around the bubble instead of flooding it? There is so much concentrated autism here that I literally can't even process it. Of all the ludicrous instances of physics-rape kkat has flung at us, this is by far the silliest.

Anyway, to wrap the story up, Applesnack was standing in this very spot, looking up mournfully at Canterlot, probably humming a My Chemical Romance song while tears of blood caused his mascara to run, when suddenly the shield broke like an overfilled water balloon, and a tidal wave of pink water came crashing down upon him. And that's the story of how Zebratown became flooded with Pink Cloud and also how SteelHooves got his hoofprints melted into the cobblestones. I guess.

Page break. Midnight Shower's Purportedly Very Strange but So Far Very Uneventful Tale, Day 27:

Midnight has been sending letters to Princess Luna which continue to go unanswered. Meanwhile, she was kicked out of a jeweler's shop when she brought her "starmetal" fragment in to be appraised. Also, for some bizarre reason, the progressive, open-minded ponies who moved to zebratown in order to show how not-bigoted they are have suddenly turned into angry bigots, who drive around in chariots hurling epithets and molotov cocktails at random zebras. For some reason, they consider this to be a saner thing to do than simply finding somewhere else to live. This seems odd, seeing as how, unlike the zebras, they are not being held here against their will. If they have reevaluated their opinion of the zebras based on...wait, what exactly happened to cause this change of heart? None of this adds up, honestly.

>I was just leaving when a chariot raced by, drawn by a very familiar-looking pony as two others hurled burning bottles and shouted anti-zebra epitaphs too foul to sully myself repeating.
It's epithets, not epitaphs, by the way. An epithet describes a characteristic of a person or thing; an epitaph is...wait a minute.

It turns out that technically, an epitaph is a memorial phrase inscribed onto a tombstone. I was actually going to make a snarky joke here about how "epitaphs" are the chapter headers that kkat keeps fucking up, but it turns out I've been misusing this term for actual years. The chapter headers are technically called epigraphs.

It's an easy enough mistake to make, but still; I was technically incorrect, the worst kind of incorrect, and must now commit sudoku. Not really, but there is indeed an important lesson here: I don't know everything. I am as capable of error as anyone else, and you should feel free to call me out on any mistakes that I make. It turns out that today, kkat and I were both faggots.

So, to ensure that we're all on the same page going forward, here is the difference between epithet, epitaph, and epigraph:

Epithet:
"Filthy zigger!"

Epitaph:
"Here Lies kkat; we buried him ass-up so that he can keep on doing what he loves."

Epigraph:
"Alas, poor Yorick! What fools these mortals be!"
--Macbeth

Anyway, the business with the anti-zebra pones throwing the molotov turned into this whole big thing. A zebra filly got burned, and SteelHooves, who was a constable in Zebratown at the time, shot a bitch in the leg. The Dash problem seems to be connected with Angel Bunny's pharmaceutical lab. Also, it turns out the prisoner alluded to earlier, the one who knows about zebra lore, was arrested for smuggling contraband. The contraband turns out to be a book, which was then confiscated by the Ministry of Image. The implication seems to be that this is the zebra necronomicon that keeps popping up. Nothing else happens, really.

Quick status update on Seb's page: two out of three of his posts already have negative scores, despite not being up even a day. I don't think people are very happy to see Seb again...

>>17706
Why doesn't he just practice art

>>17705
AFAIK he left Derpi on his own.

>>17707
Cuz he prefers stealing them?

>>17710
>AFAIK he left Derpi on his own.
Perhaps they don't know yet about his nazi ties.

>>310548
How do we know that isn’t fake?

>>310560
The Purple's account or the femoid?

>>310563
The purple’s. Just who even is the “femoid”?

Do you think that this account was just made up to make us think that Princess Twilight is a member of the MLH community or do you think she really is and that was genuine? Though I haven’t really been on Trotter since they banned former PM Rump for trotting “FAKE NEWS” and “CHINEIGH VIRUS” all the time.

Epic Kvetchery.

>>310565
Well, that cunt just visited /pol/ for first time.
It was so shocking and disgusting that she was there for "solid" 12 hours straight. Go figures. KEK
I'm so proud.

>Alex Jonestein Show
>Why Are Meat And Chicken Becoming Magnetized?
>Owen takes calls and there's a recurring theme about magnetic people and meat.
https://banned.video/watch?id=60c802313accf50979b21d9c
Mirror: https://worldtruthvideos.org/watch/why-are-meat-and-chicken-becoming-magnetized_PoNmh3qyySQsU9X.html
A clip is added.

They have been planning this Covid bullshit for years now...

>>17606
Fat bitch

Pony raids a camping tent and helps itself.