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Naruto thread
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The Naruto thread, for Naruto discussion. You can talk about what you like/dislike about the show, your favourite character, your least favourite retcon, and anything else you want.

To get this started I think I'll talk about my least favourite retcon in the series.
When the story first started, Naruto Uzumaki was a nobody.
And an orphan who lives alone in a shitty apartment.
Dead-last in his ninja school, considered a failure by damn near everyone who knew him, hated for a reason he didn't know, he resorted to pranking people and vandalizing the Ninja Mount Rushmore monument in Konoha (The Hidden Leaf Village) for attention. Only one teacher liked him.
He wants to be Hokage (Ninja President) but at first nobody thinks he'll make it.
To make matters worse, this is a setting where things just aren't fair. Some people are born with more talent than others. There are people out there younger than Naruto with more talent than his Ninja senseis. Some people are legitimately threatened by caltrops and ninja knives, and some people are demigods who explode mountains by looking at them and effortlessly survive taking island-destroying explosions to the face.
Some people are born with Kekkei Genkais (Bloodline Limits), a genetic mutation that improves their body or lets them use a certain element nobody else can use. In a world where it takes a long time to learn one Fire/Water/Earth/Wind/Lightning spell and having two elements is considered a sign that you're epic, these people get an extra element on top like Magnetism or Lava. Or lets them use a combo-element like Ice which is a combination of wind and water magic, granting them incredible talent in both elements and the ability to perform ninja hand-seals one-handed. Or a unique evolutionary advantage like white eyes with X-ray vision that see in a 360-degree sphere for miles and let you see the body's chakra points, or bullshit purple god-eyes, or red and black eyes that see faster and gradually unlock increasingly bullshit powers like improve your reflexes, spit magical black fire so hot it burns regular fire and can only be extinguished by sealing magic, trap people in a torture illusion that lasts ages for the victim but a second in reality, make a big fucking gundam out of magic, shit on causality to "turn your wounds into illusions" for six seconds at the cost of your sight in that eye, create a mental time loop for someone until they give up, and get some bullshit power unique to the individual like the ability to mind-control anyone or displace matter or get really really good control of the black fire.
Some people are born with power and immense talent, and some people are nobodies like Naruto.
He did have The Nine-Tailed Fox sealed inside him as a baby, which is an evil demon who hates humanity and wants to be free. But he's not on Naruto's side, and whenever Naruto gets pissed the fox tries to escape.
Naruto was considered a loser by everyone who knew him, and he was a loudmouthed knuckleheaded brat. And yet, he had potential. Once someone told him to do it, he was able to sneak into the Hokage's (Ninja President's) tower, steal the Forbidden Scroll, and learn one technique from it that would quickly become his signature move: The Shadow Clone Jutsu. He saved the life of the teacher that liked him.
He was assigned to a team that hated him at first, getting stuck with the lazy genius Kakashi Hatake, the "grumpy on the outside, kind on the inside" (at first) Sasuke Uchiha, and the shit Sakura Haruno.
The author Kishimoto wanted Sakura to be a normal girl to contrast the stronger and more interesting characters in her team. This was a really stupid move, as Sakura's the least interesting/funny/likable female character in a show where females are already usually uninteresting/unfunny/unlikable, making the rare good females stand out.
Naruto had the odds stacked against him for all of the show, when it was good. He was a nobody who worked hard, and proved to the world he can improve even if they've written him off as a "dead-last loser for life". He beats some fatalist guy who says "People cannot change their destiny" and it's epic. He defeats many foes destined to be stronger than him by working his ass off.
And then, near the end of the tale, the author decides to retcon Naruto's parentage.
Suddenly, Naruto was always some fucking Crusader Kings god-baby with two of the greatest parents possible. His dad turned out to be The Yellow Flash Minato Namikaze, The Fourth Hokage. And his mom was Kushina Uzumaki, a previous Jinchuriki for the Nine-Tails. Their family tree's full of previous Hokage and super-powerful/important people, and Naruto is not only directly related to The Sage Of Six Paths (mythical Ninja Jesus), he is also the reincarnation of the good son of the Sage of Six Paths who's destined to get strong and battle the reincarnation of the evil son. Naruto always had it easier than those with worse parentage.
The final powerups necessary to defeat the final bosses don't come from the people of the Ninja world training hard and using great teamwork and strategy to overcome overwhelming odds. It's handed to them by deus ex machina ninja jesus spirits.
This really detracts from all the "Fuck destiny!" shit the story's said until now.
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The excuse for Naruto growing up a loathed orphan is stupid. "If they knew Kushina and Minato had a kid they would have made attempts on his life"? Maybe if the village had better security that wouldn't have been an issue for him or the Hyuga.
Originally Naruto's Nine-Tailed Fox and the One-Tailed Shukaku were different things, (At least I think they were?) but after a while it's revealed that they were always part of a set of nine. In a world where people know what Jinchuriki are, it makes no sense for them to be socially ostracized/feared at best. They aren't reincarnations of those demons, they are the jailers of those demons. They could unleash their demons upon the world if they wanted to. Or control the powers of their demons to get OP fast.
Naruto could still be that number 1 unpredictable ninja even with famous amazing parents to disappoint at first.
I don't know why you're such an angry man in every single conversation we have no matter what it's about. This might be an anonymous message board but it's impossible to miss your needlessly hostile writing style. We could talk about Naruto right now, but instead you're insulting me over what I said.
It makes no sense for you to pretend Kishimoto "God I fucking love the Uchiha" Kishimoto is some underrated misunderstood genius whose retcons were actually things people didn't understand.
Pretending lazy writing and bad retcons are inherent parts of shonen anime devalues all the work better writers put into making their settings internally consistent and their stories interesting. Naruto was interesting when it was about ninjas who fight with hand to hand combat and sometimes magical bullshit. When it escalated wildly out of control and became about glowing planet-busting god-men blasting each other through the moon, it lost something vital to its identity.
And parallel adjacent theories? Back in the day, people said "Tobi can't be Obito because that's too obvious".
>I dont like it, therefore it's bad
Here we go again. From the top:
>I dont like the plot device Kishimoto used therefore it's stupid
No u
>better security
Speculative and worthless. The idea is that in the ninja world, intelligence and planning can upset even the best laid security measures, hence it DOES make sense for Naruto to be reared under the 'worthless orphan' banner, rather than revealing to the village (and by proxy the world, cuz it only takes one captured genin or chuunin to ascertain common knowledge) that he's the son of A. The unbeatable/legendary ninja who slaughtered entire armies single handedly and shit and B. the former jinchuriki (which would provide a paper trail to Naruto and the 9 tails). It makes perfect sense, if you're not thick.
>were different things, (At least I think they were?)
It was never specified in the first series, so as usual your thoughts are irrelevant. In fact, your thoughts are precisely the speculation that results from an author who knows how to properly pace and control what the audience knows.
>it makes no sense for them to be ostracized
It does actually. People fear what they dont understand, especially if it is inherently a threat. The expounded history is not detailed to us, and given the often erratic nature of the beasts its probable that previous hosts didnt react to their presence with the same level of control. Look at Gaara, who turned into a rampaging monster any time he went to sleep. Additionally, it's not improbable that the sealing techniques were developed over time, and that previous hosts may have had little/no control by way of lesser seals, effectively turning hosts into human forms of the beasts. Thus, it is perfectly reasonable that beasts would be feared even when put into hosts.
>Naruto could still be the
No, because there would be heaps and heaps of expectations laid on him
>son of the 4th
>son of a well regarded and established clan from which the previous jinchu emerged
Kakashi had expectations cuz of his dad. The Uchiha/Hyuuga/etc all had expectations cuz clan. And more to that point, Haku's clan, Kimimaro's clan, as well as others were WIPED OUT because people (sometimes their own village) feared their power, and that's without a beast. Your point is retarded.
>why are you such a meanie
>It makes no sense
To you, who missed the point entirely. again, that's not a retcon
>lazy writing and bad retcons
You've yet to validate any 'retcon' that wasnt just you being too thick to grasp the subject. As for lazy writing being part of shonen, yeah it does mean that. Provide an example of a Shonen anine/manga that doesnt involve some degree of tropey writing/story, especially pertaining to the main character.
> it was about ninjas who fight with hand to hand combat and sometimes magical bullshit
Wrong again. That was the ninja world that we as an audience knew, because that was the ninja world that the main character(s) knew. That the crazy god shit wasnt initially introduced is not inherently bad, you just dont like it, which is again, irrelevant.
Did you like the Rinnegan?
I dont see how that matters. As a concept, story element/facet, and plot device, it served its purpose.
What purpose did the Rinnegan serve, then?
Off the top of my head?
Creating the ninja world, serving as the means to maintain Madara, through whom Obito and Kakashi could have their character redemptions, as well as Nagato and even Naruto to some degree (since the Pain fight is when Naruto finally learns that his dad was the 4th, as well as the point that Hinata confessed her feelings). Later on the rinnegan was the driving force behind watching hundreds of crappy ninja get owned (with a few exciting fights interspersed), and finally (in a very cursory list) it was the vehicle behind 1/2 of a very yin/yang, 'friendship is magic' exposition, resolving the conflict between Sasuke and Naruto.

any animus liek dis uwu niqqua sheeeit

Post here every time you finish an anime/manga
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As this board can be rather slow and the standard 'post here when you come' format hasn't helped recently, I figured I'd start a content/recommendation thread.
So, here are the rules:
Whenever you finish reading a manga or watching an anime movie, season, or short series, post here and give it a short review. (Post spoilers for major or minor plot events in spoilers, obviously.) If you feel someone else's review is shit, tell them why so they can improve. I'll start.
Name: Made In Abyss
The Good: the worldbuilding is phenomenal, and the environments are gorgeous. The titular abyss or Netherworld that the story takes place in has varied and versatile landscapes, and each and every one of them is memorable. The creature design is serviceable, a few are uninspired but for the most part they feel at place in a hellscape.
The Bad: there are a few plot inconsistencies and conveniences. Near the end, one of the characters who is portrayed as an experienced researcher seemingly wastes all but two of his test subjects, and then allows the remaining two to escape easily. Reg's arm length seems to fluctuate depending on what the writers need. One minute he's expressing difficulty rescuing the other main character because he lacks the length, the next he's lowering himself down what are presumably hundreds of meters to descend in the abyss safely. The two hollows don't have that well of a defined dynamic, so when you see one of them turned into cat yogurt you don't feel the same emotional investment. The one sentient hollow also sort of stole the show for me, I found her motivations were far more interesting than 'I gotta find my mom.' or 'I am a robot, I will protect you from danger because plot.'
The Ugly: I didn't really like the humor. 99% of it is just some character making a remark about dicks, pussies, balls or butts. Maybe I'd find it a bit less unbearable if they weren't all around 12 (or appear to be around 12). It's just disgusting, felt like the writers were child groomers.
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Finished Konosuba and its movie.
Funniest shit I've ever seen. Megumin is adorable and Darkness is weirdly adorable.
Finished Hellsing.
I expected a third rate DMC knockoff but it was fun. Normally OP protags are boring but Alucard is fun. Seras is cute too.
I also saw Into The Spiderverse, it's a movie but it was probably animated in north korea like the rest of them. It's cliche shit and another motherfucking origin story for the same fuucking character yet again and if it wasn't for how wacky it looks nobody would give it a second glance. The black spiderman replacement is lame just like the black Batman replacement. Handing him The Shocker and Invisible Girl's powers won't make him cool. Comic book AUs are like fanmade Undertale AUs but even less creative. What really separates "Undertale but mafia" from "Spiderman but noir"? What separates "Undertale but Sans is Papyrus and Papyrus is Sans" from "Spiderman but Gwen Stacy is Spiderman and Peter Parker is The Lizard"? "What if The Flash was a Cheetah and what if Batman was a Green Lantern?" Sucks. Eat my fucking ass Sony/Marvel/whoever else makes these things.
>Devil May Cry rip off
Hellsing Ultimate or just Hellsing?
Just Hellsing
I finished Justice League Dark: Apokolips War with some comicfag friends.
I know it's not anime but fuck this movie and fuck DC
Superman and pals fight Darkn'essFuckr666 or whatever his world of warcraft username is, he's evil because he loves darkness and killing and he's stronger than Superman, and the heroes die horribly because Constantine The Magic Drunk pussied out. He pussied out because he knew he'd be necessary to undo this reality once the universe is permanently fucked. The whole universe goes to shit and everyone is sad and emo except for "Harley Quinn's Suicide Squad" which is basically Deadpool Girl and some generic baddies including a Groot knockoff who says "I am King Shark" instead of "I am Groot". Batman got in the Magical Cunt Chair to put him in charge of Ritard Repulsa's evil forces while Lex Luthor became cuck president of earth. Raven from Teen Titans unleashes her inner demon daddy to kick Darkness Dementia Raven Way's ass and eventually the heroes successfully blow up a thing the baddie disappears in. Man it sure is a good thing Trigon willingly seemingly died to kill Darkness McDarkness. Then the authors decide they don't want to explore this world any further. So the boring cartoon villain stole earth's magma, dooming it. Barry Wally or whatever his name is, The Flash decides to run so fast it turns back time so he can redo reality even though a while back there was a film called Flashpoint where Flash was told Time Travel is wrong because it makes everything dark and edgy and wrong for no reason.

Nothing makes the superheroes of one comic book company seem more irrelevant to the grand scheme of things than trying to tie their wildly different stories together by saying they'd all be absolutely fucked if Zippy The Wonder Squirrel wasn't around to also be in the Mega Super Hero Team.
Fuck Capeshit. Caring about heroes seems pointless because the industry can only spin its wheels or add gimmicks or suck itself off or spiral down. Usually all at once.
Specifically fuck this movie because it's fundamentally not a story. Constantine didn't choose to pussy out. A deus ex machina forced him to pussy out so he could help play a tiny role in momentarily saving a doomed planet that would end up throwing its hands up and relying on time travel to reboot the franchise to decanonize this movie. Everything about this film is artificial shock value or marketing crap. Forgot to say that last time.

Also I finished Darker Than Black. That's a damn good show. Renumerations seem like a silly concept though. I get that you want to give the superpowers a cost and make the superhuman assholes seem bizarre and inhuman but giving them weird OCD Moments is weird. One motherfucker dog-ears every page in a book in order and carries at least ten in a bag. Another breaks his own damn fingers and another arranges tiny rocks evenly.
It reminds me of some writing expert saying he once told kids to imagine limits for magic. One kid said "what if using magic summons dogs to bite your feet" and the wizards would have to stand on tall platforms where the dogs can't get them. Or something like that.
What if when authors give all the magic or superpowered people in their setting some huge limit or weakness and then let the hero bypass that limit or weakness completely it's a sign that you've chosen a really silly weakness or limit?
It worked in Avatar because Aang's status as the exception to the one or 0 elements per person rule was an integral part of the lore.
but if Ash's Pikachu was randomly special and therefore didn't take damage from Fire type attacks it would be silly and arbitrary. And if a Jojo's could summon any stand he defeated in battle it would be turbo OP.

Fumo Thread: Day of the Fumo Edition
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Please read this before posting: http://www.buyfags.moe/Full_guide

Places to buy fumos and other plushes:

For General Fumo information, custom fumo lists, official fumo lists, AND fumo price guides- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1qNz36ZJm_P83ke4pzbi4MiinhmGDuES-PEgLEjyIsy8/edit?usp=sharing

Picture guide for acquiring fumos-

Touhou: https://www.gift-gift.jp/nui/toho.html
Gift Closet: https://www.gift-gift.jp/nuigurumi_costume/
Online Shop: http://giftshop.jz.shopserve.jp/

Fumo: https://buyee.jp/item/search?query=ふもふも
Deka: https://buyee.jp/item/search?query=でかふも

Fumo: https://order.mandarake.co.jp/order/listPage/list?soldOut=1&keyword=フモフモ ふもふも&lang=en
Deka: https://order.mandarake.co.jp/order/listPage/list?soldOut=1&keyword=デカフモ でかふも&lang=en

Tokyo Otaku Mode-

Solaris Japan-

Fumo: https://www.suruga-ya.jp/search?category=5&search_word=ふもふも+東方ぬいぐるみ
Deka: https://www.suruga-ya.jp/search?category=5&search_word=でかふも+東方ぬいぐるみ

Amazon JP-
Fumo: https://www.amazon.co.jp/s?k=東方Project+ふもふも&language=en_US
Suku: https://www.amazon.co.jp/s?k=東方Project+すくすく&language=en_US

Amiami- *Note, they rarely keep Fumos in stock at this point, but they do have other touhou plushies on occasion

Proxy and Forwarding services-

Do not buy from JP Figures. They are a scam.

>But anon I'm a poorfag and can't afford a fumo.
Then just buy a knock off on aliexpress or ebay for like $15-35.

Previous thread >>>/1ntr/3231 →
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I want a Jo'on fumo, but custom fumos are so expensive.
A fumo war could be fun. I'll start taking more pictures of my Cirno fumo and post one pic to /a/ and one post to /1ntr/. Maybe it will even generate content. Remember kids, cheap fumo knockoffs that look just like the real things are available on ebay and aliexpress and they are great for making offensive memes!
Here have a custom fumo dump for /a/
Cheap knock off fumos for those of you wishing to participate in the fumo war:
https://www.ebay.com/itm/TouHou-Project-Fumo-Fumo-Plush-Series-Hakurei-Reimu-Cosplay-20cm-Doll-Toy-Gifts/124489237538? (out of reimus)

Not Fumos but these softs could make fun pics too:
More cute knock off 2hu plushies NOT FUMOS
Also mods I'm not trying advertise I just want more content. 2hu has great meme potential. See >>1308 >>1309

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Cancer Weeb Music
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Post the weebiest shit you've got.
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Ngl, I rail this song. Still dunno what it's about, but still
It's about a taoist necromancer in love with a zombie.
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This white liberal father did not expect such a reaction to his tweet.mp4
This white liberal father did not expect such a reaction to his tweet.
mudshark-fucking coal-burning nigger-fucking cuck
Smartphones are a staple of normalfaggotry, and normalfags don't belong here.
Not everyone can afford to drop money for a decent PC, lay off faggot.
t. PC poster
Anyone can get a $50 laptop on Craigs list.

278220__safe_ponified_anime_sora no otoshimono_ikaros_artist-colon-rari3.png
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Post in this thread every time you visit /a/
410 replies and 396 files omitted.
>Why People Like Anime Girls
>This video explores why people like anime girls. Specifically, the female characters in the Japanese anime industry. This video answers "Why do people like anime girls?" and "Why do people use anime avatars?". Analysis is given of several reasons behind anime's popularity, especially in Western countries. Some of the animes featured in the video include Kaguya-sama: Love Is War, K-On!, Re:Zero, We Can't Study, Love Lab, Violet Evergarden, and more.
This video helped me a lot to understand why anime is special. I hope you'll agree.
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What are some good sources to watch anime?


Is anyone here into this series/familiar with the card game?
I played it solo as a kid, never had a face-to-face duel in my life. I quit around the 5Ds era so my old deck's completely outdated.
User to play it as a kid with just a few friends when the GX show was just airing, but stopped after I left high school. Sorta picked it back up recently since a friend of mine plays and learnt what synchros are. I used to run a machine deck as a kid with a focus on the one or two cyber dragons I had, but now I use an aromage deck I managed to build for the cheap while on lockdown
Nice! I used to use a Dragon deck that used Dragon's Mirror and Future Fusion to get five-headed dragon on the field as quickly as possible.
I wish the game didn't revolve so much about pre-built archetypes these days. Seems like how good your deck is depends on whether Konami puts out good cards you're allowed to use on your best cards or not.
We'll never see a creative deck build that combines Ojama, Cloudian, and BES in some unique innovative way defeat someone using a top-tier archetype that can special summon half his deck on turn two for an OTK.

I am loli believe me.jpg
Fanfiction Containment Thread - Or How I Learnt to Stop Sperging and Worship Trash
So here you post your fanfiction of chinese cartoons if you have any. The rules for posting are the following: 1) Avatar: The Last Airbender is an anime. 2) Panty and Stocking is a cartoon. 3) The tier-list for animes goes as follows: Eromanga-sensei>Mad Bull 34>Sword Art Online> Garcy's wings>>>>>>Death Note.
12 replies and 6 files omitted.
Sometimes I think about joining a waifufag anime forum, making faggy friends, writing terrible erotic fanfiction of me fucking anime girls, and seeing who I can actually get to read this trash and call it good.
What do?
Sit down and spend a whole day thinking about a one-shot story in tousend words and make the greatest piece you have ever written. You are good at writing so why not test you wings?

What about some writing tennis? I write and you continue it tomorrow and I the next day. The first one to fail their responsibility to write loses. Feel no pressure it dosent' have to be that good.

Okay, I serve.

Anon crawled out of his bed when the sunlight began to prod his closed eyes. Walking downstairs like downsyndrome-zombie, Anon was unconsiously expceting to be passed by his imouto, Nonny, in the staircase. This was not the case though. In fact, when he reach the kitchen table he realized that she wasn't even up yet.

Suddenly, he was fully awake and he gave her spot at the table a double take. For a moment he thought he would go up and wake her but then decided against it. If she wanted to snooze for once, thenthat as okay and besides he just knew he would be called out for being a hypocrite about it since he used to mock her for being nervrotic like jew, to theiir mother's disapproval of course, in the morning.

He glanced at the clock and made a mental note to wake her up in five minutes. He made a two sandwiches with ham and then poured himself a glass of milk while he pondered how he would tease his sister for this.

Five minutes came an went and Anon gave her five more. Nothing.

Anon shook his head and moved up to his sister's door. He knocked the coor with his knuckles.

"Nonny, wakey wakey! The sun shines and the birds chriping." But nothing. "Hello?... Nonny?... Okay, I'm coming in okay? So don't be naked," Anon said.

He opened the door slowly. He was expecting it to be slammed shut any second now and to be berated by her angry sister. However, he ended up opening the whole door.

The room was a mess. The floor were littered with clothes. Anon noticed this when he stepped on something soft that clinged around his toes, it was a pair of pink panties!!!

Anon shook off the panties from his foot.

Books seems to have fallen from their places on the bookshelf and had been left laying on the floor.

His sister's desk was covered by map and next of the city and next ot it was a card. He picked the card up to investigate it. First he only saw a black plain side with three golden cricles intersecting with each other. He flipped it around in his hand. The otherside, was a picture of a monster-like creature that would be closest compared to a cheese with its many holes replaced with toothy mouths and worm-like tentacles coming out from it.

Anon didn't know his sister had followed up on his advice to read based lovecraft but it seems like she had. Good for her. He put the card back down.

A cool brezee entered through the window that was mostly covered up by curtains.

He realized that he mess had distracted him from his purpose here. His gaze wanderd to the foor of the bed and found a throng of wangaurds of stuffed animals and then the at the bundle of blankets further up in the bed.

He walked up to the side of her bed. She was wearing some strange blue shirt. It had short sleeves but puffy. Her hair was braided in as if of a professional and on top of that was a silver and blue tiara.

Suddenly, she rolled towards him and the many of the blankets covering her fell off revealing that she was wearing a fancy blue skirt and silver ballet shoes.

Anon grinned as he shook his head. What the fuck? Was she LARPing as a fairy when she was alone? Kek, this was gold.

He then saw a that she was embracing something. Was that a pony?

In her arms, a dog-sized white pony with a blone mane was snoozing.

If most be a new stuffed pet, right? Anon thought as he poked it with his finger.

It openedits eye and their gazes meet.

They both screamed like faggots.
Posting some unfinished stuff that hasn't been proofread.

Black hair that reached all across the girl's back hung from a lithe girl walking in tan school uniform side by side with another girl wearing the same uniform. This girl had pink hair and pigtails. She was holding the other girl's hand as they walked with one hand and the other was used to hold an ice-cream cone. They both had ice-cream, the black haired girl had a strawberry one with two pink(dafuq) balls in the waffle cone and the pink girl had two different flavours and therefore two different balls; one blue, blueberry flavour; and one brown, chocolate flavour.

They were walking along a dirt path in the park with a small lake on one side and trees on the other. Skyscrapers rose up in the horizon behind the glittering waves of the lake. A few guys jogged around them in a line, wearing shorts, t-shirts, and caps.

The black haired girl stuck her tongue out and rose her ice-cream up to meet. She tentitively took a lick on one of the balls before she licked up melted ice-cream drawing lines done her cone. She pouted and furrowed her eyebrows at the ice-cream.

She looked over at the other girl. She took small bites on the ice-cream which left ring of either brown or blue around her mouth. She licked that up but usually was unable to get everything, ending up with few colorful spot on her cheeks. She then sucked up the melted lines on her cone as well.

The pink haired girl noticed that she was watched so she turned to the the other girl. She smiled at the other girl with a new ring of blue ice-cream around her mouth and the n with the hand she held her ice-cream she pointed at the other ice-cream.

”Hey, Homura. You havn't even touched yours,” the pink haired one said, and tilted her head forward while highering her eyebrows.

Homura looked blankly at the pink one's cream coverd mouth and then back at her ice-cream which balls which still lookd round.

”It is hard to eat without getting some around your lips,” Homura said.

”That's what makes it so fun!” the pink one exclaimed. ”You don't need to worry about spilling since there is no way to eat it proper anyway, like other finger licking foods.”

The pink one grinned at her.

”I don't think you can't eat this properly though. If I had a spoon I would be able to...” Homura began.

The other girl giggled.

”Homura! Do I look like I worry about being proper?” the pink one said, she smiled at Homura and then stuck out her tongue that was colored purple due to the ice-cream. ”Bleeeeeeeeeh.”

”Haaa,” Homura panted at Madoka's close and outstretched tongue.

The one with pigtails noticed this and closed her mouth. She looked at *Homura with raised eyebrows before a smirk appeared. She dived down and took a chunk of Homura's ice-cream. One of her cheak bluged out as she place it there.

”Tehehehe, If you do't eat faster, I'll eat it for you,” she got out through her mouth of ice-cream.

At firstHomura looked at her wide-eyed, then she smiled and exhaled in pleasure.

”Can I taste yours?” Homura asked, and nodded towards the other girl's ice-cream.

The other girl nodded.

”Of course,” she said, and brought it up to Homura's face.”Here. Take a large bite.”

Homura opened her mouth, sank her teeth in, and took an about the same size of the other girl's ice-cream. She felt how she had gotten some around her lips so she brought up her hand towipe it off.

The other girl then duck down towards that hand and licked up the ice-cream smudge on Homura's wrist. She then turned upwards toward Homura's face while licking a mouth while giving off a coy expression.

This sure is a strange timeline, Homura thought.


A chill crept over Homura's skin and made her hairs stand up. The other girl felt it too. The buildings in the distance disappeared from view as grey fog came forth. The dirt path turned from brown to black tar that their shoes sunk a bit into.

The other girl looked around with wide-eyes.

"Whe- where are we?" she asked in a higher pitch than usual.

Homura narraowed her eyes and showed some teeth as she looked ahead.

"We are in a witch's Labyrinth," she growled.

Homura dropped her ice-cream, brought her, now free hand, to the other hand, removed its silver ring and transformed it back into an purple egg decorated by a gold container. She made a gesture above her soul gem and it turned into a body of purple energy that exploded into tiny particles. These particles swirled around her body and her current school uniform was replaced with a grey and purple dress. Around her left wrist a small round shield came to be.

The other girl gaped at her.

"Come, Madoka. We don't wanna linger," Homura said while lifting one of her shoes. A few strands of black goo still hung between her shoe and the ground. A wrinkle appeared between her eyes.

Homura meet Madoka's gaze. Madoka's mouth made an inaudible, "Wha?" She looked around while trembling and holding her uppper arms thight against her body.

"Haa... Haa... Homura. What's haa... Going on?" she asked in between ragged breaths.

With wide-eyes Madoka looked up into Homura's eyes.

Homura cast her eyes down.

"I didn't want to involve you in this," Homura said and met Madoka's eyes with determined eyes and thin lips. "Madoka. You need to do everything I tell you from now on. This-" Homura gestured towards their surroundings. "-is a witch's labyrinth. There are things in here that can kills us both." Homura grapped hold of Madoka' shoulders. "Do you understand?"

Madoka pulled a bit back from Homura's intensity.

"No. Not really," Madoka said and shook her head. Madoka's eyes traveled across Homura's new outfit. "Where did your new clothes come from?"

Homura showed the glowing purple romb gem that was stuck to the back of her right hand.

"This-" Homura pointed at the gem. "-is a soul gem. With it I can turn into a magical girl and it gives me the power to fight against witches."

Homura saw that Madoka was stunned as she watched the gem.

Splash splash splash splash.

As Homura turned her head in the direction of the sounds, she reached into her shield and brought out a gun.

Out of the fog a black shape appeared. It was a black giant spider. Its body was the size of one o the girls but its legs were longer and hairier.

"Ahhh!" screamed Madoka, and hide her face in Homura's chest.

Homura glared at it before an explosion in front of her gun appeared and the spider flew backwards as parts of it rained down and splashed in the tar.

The bang made Madoka looked back. As she saw the smoking barrel of Homura's gun and the crumbled body of the very still laying spider, she pieced together what had happned.

Homura dargged Madoka to her so their faces were only inches away from eachother.

"I'll protect you," Homura said in a firm voice.

A blush appeared on Madoka's cheeks.

Homura released Madoka and walked forward, dragging her after her.

Splash splash.

Homura turned towards Madoka and pointed towards her own shoes.

"Make sure that you step into the tar slowly, like this," Homura whispered while lifting her shoe out and back into the tar without making a sound," so there is no splash. That way it will be easier to hear if something else charges at us."

Madoka nodded. She dropped her ice-cream and use the hand to embrace Homura's shield hand even futher. She now walked right behind Homura as they walked.

Homura's eyes darted back and forth over while listening for the smallest of sounds as they walked with slow peace across the field of tar.

Then, schlurp!

As Homuras took a step forward, her leg sunk into the tar to her knee before she found something to stand on with her heel. She pulled back in jerk and as the tar released her, she fell back and she and Madoka ended up with their backs in the tar.

"Ahh!" Madoka yelled as she Homura's body forced her into the tar.

Homura bounced back up to a sitting position propped up on her arms.

"Madoka!" she shouted and with dilated pupils.


She saw half of Madoka's face was submerged under the tar and black blobs were on her none dirty side.


Homura grabbed hold of Madoka's shoulder and tried to raise her.

"Oww!" she shouted as her hair got pulled due to her pigtails being stuck in the black mud.

Homura fished them up and then wiped away the filth out of one of Madoka's eyes.

Raising madoka to her feets and standing up, Homura felt with her foot were around the large hole in the black goonow was, where she has sunk. She could feel that there was an edge underneath the jelly of doom. She followed the edge with her foot.

Homura brought out a sheathed katana and poked through the black filth to feel the ground beneath as to navigate them passed any more sudden depths.

They cold see further in the fog now and they could see webs hanging like a ceiling of hammocks above them. They arrived at grey stone staircase that spiraled high upwards and disappeared out of sight into webs. They lefts black footprints on the steps in the begining of their ascent.

Strands of spiderwebs attached themselves more and more to the spiral staircase as they proceeded upwards. Madoka's lips pointed downwards and her eyebrows formed a rooftop when she saw white web cacoons with discernible black shapes inside them wiggle as they hung from underneath the stairs they would soon reach.

Now the stairs they walked on was tunnel of webs. They had to watch their steps not stepping on any of the webs in what was mostly web covered steps.

A wet clicking sound crept from one side of the tunnel, over it, and to the other side. Homura and Madoka stopped as they heard it and waited a bit there. Homura had not heard the sound decreasing so she glared at the wall where the sound had last been heard.

Up ahead she saw that there was a hole in one of the web walls. She digged into her shield, brought out a silencer, and screwed it on. She moved forward till she was just around the corner of the hole. In one smooth movement she turned the corner with her pistol frst. The barrel was just inches away from the eight gleaming black eyes of a giant spider that held onto the edge of the hole with most of its legs, looking ready to pounce.

It hissed but just barely as Homura silenced it in an instance. Its face blew up. The shoot made the veil of webs sway. Homura's eyes went wide when she saw how the webs moved as sails in the wind.

"We will have to run now. Make sure that you do not step in any of it," Homura said to Madoaka after she turned around to face her. "Now follow me."

Homura ran at her slowest pace while dragging Madoka behind her.

Madoka kept her gaze on her feets. She ran on thin line of non-webbed stone and everytime Homura skipped over something in front she would follow and fly over a strand of web crossing from wall to wall.

The girls heard the wet clicking sound from before but this time it came from many places at once. Bulky shadows with legs like sticks revealed themselves behind the webs as thunder lit everyhing up. It seemed as if they were surrounded by giant spiders. Madoka covered her mouth with wide eyes.

Homura put back both the katana and her pistol into the shield and then, after a momentof digging, brought out a flamethrower. Madoka stared at it. Homura didn't stop as she threw on backpack tanks' straps and readied the rifle part of it.

Homura's shield turned and the wet clicking stopped. She held down the trigger and her rifle spewed out swirling fuffy flames. The webs further ahead in the tunnel was hit and began to shrink and turn to black. But then they stopped being no longer connected with homura. Homura walked into the enflamed tunnel and ripped open the web walls by the force of the fire's impact alone. She walked back passed Madoka and did the same on those walls. After this, she went back to Madoka and release time.

A harmony of gurgling screams surrounded them. Their part of the web tunnel was the only one not being lit, for now.

Madoka's head twirled around shocked as the web tunnel behind them and in front of them inexplicably caught fire. She then saw that Homura stood a bit further ahead than before and that she was holding a flamethrower.

One spider, who had gotten a direct shoot of flames, fell through the burning tunnel's roof and landed in their view ingulfed in flames like a balrog. The flaming spider ran towards them and pounced.

It froze in the air as Homura's shield turned. She put back her flamethrower in her shield and removed her, now unsheathed, katana from it. In one quick swing, she split the head of the burning spider and one of its fangs spun off.

She release time again.

The spider flew towards them and Madoka screamed but Homura merely swatted it away with the flat side of her sword.


More burning black bodies crashed on the steps ahead. The roof over Madoka and Homura was chipped away at by the torrent of flames from both sides.

Homura grapped madoka's hand and then spun her wheel. The yellow flames one webs and spiders froze and the crackling as well.

"I have stopped time. We should get out of here," Homura said, and kicked aside a burning spider corpse.

"Woah," Madoka said, her mouth was shaped like a large, "o," and her forehead was wrinkled.

As Madoka looked at the forzen flames, Homura glanced at her sideways. Homura pulled Madoka forward as they began to traversed the burning tunnel ahead. When they got passed the burning parts, Homura ran while dragging Madoka behind her.

"I'll start time again. I most savesome for the witch," Homura threw back, and her shield screetched as it spun.

The sound of fire could be heard again behind them and the roars of suffering spiders.

They ascended a about a five story building in stairs before Madoka began to lag behind. Her legs were heavy and her feet hurt. She leaned forward while hanging onto Hmura's hand. Droplets of sweat poured down her face and dark spots appeared on her uniform around her armpits and from her collor down her chest.

"Haaa. Haaa. Haaa. Haaa. Homura," Madoka panted.

"Just a little bit further," Homura said, and threw her katana so it spunin the air and pierced a web wall.

A gurgling hiss rang out and the web was filled with blood that flowed along the katana and from there dripped off onto the stone steps.

"We are soon there," Homura added.

Wet clicking noices could be heard comming closer and closer from steps below. Madoak looked back in fright but Homura only grabbed a molotov in her shield. Transparent tape held a match stick to the bottle neck. Homura ripped it off and lit it by dragging it across her shield. With the molotov lit, she tossed it over her shoulder. The sound of glass shattering and a small flaming explosion reach her ears but soon afterward the soon of gurgling hisses. Homura smiled as she ran.

Madoka had picked up the pace and now ran normally right behind Homura. Her eyes were wide while her pupils small and her teeth clenched.

The stairs stopped turning and straighten up as the steps disappeared into a birghtly lit portal ahead. Homura pointed at it.

"There, Madoka. We can rest after we get passed there," she shouted.

They ran through the portal and ended up on a circular stone plateau.


There was a cicular hole in the center of the plaform. Webs like a wall of clouds fenced in the area and the high ceiling was also made of webs.

Spiders could bee seen high up on the walls, extending their their front legs while dancing to the side like crabs.

The platform shook lke an earthquake and Madoka had to lean on Homura too keep balance. Rumbling sprung up from the holoe in the center and soon it was followed by a large black monster being elevated up by a cicular platform that filled the hole prefectly.

A purple skinned naked woman which lower body was that of a spider and head was black worm with rows of jagged teeth that bit not by two jaw halves comming togehter but like a noose bringing the teeths into its center. She had crab claws instead of arms that sapped from time to time.

"That-" Homura pointed at the witch. "-is our exit." Homura's hand went for her shield but the worm head of the witch flew towards them. It froze a meter away from Homura, its mouth having tirple extended itself to the point that itt could swallow them both whole.

Madoka, who had let go of Homura's hand when they entered the room, were frozen in a backstep while exteneding her palms agains the mouth.

Homura brought out an rocket propelled grande launcher and fire off a rocket straight down its throat. Next, she brought out a machine gun and fired off several clips of amunition onto the body of the spider. She also set the body on fire with the flamethrower from before, then she returned to Madoka.

She grabbed Madoka's shoulder and Madoka jerked around before seeing that time had stopped.

"Come, grab my hand. We don't wanna be here when I resume time," Homura said, and Madoka grabbed her hand and followed her as she lead them off the platfeau through the portal and back onto the stairs.

Homura resumed time. A loud bang followed and a gurgling howl of pain. Then the staircase and all the webs slowly disappeared from view. Both Homura and Madoka were back on the dirt path in tha park.

"Strong labyrinth, weak witch," Homura noted, as she picked up the grief seed it left.

Then Madoka smooched Homura.

"My hero."

Homura blushed and thought that maybe witch hunts with Madoka wasn't so bad after all.

>When you think homosexuality is bad but yuri is cute

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