For anyone who stumbles across this thread and is wondering what it is, this is a literary review thread for pony fanfiction. We take an MLP fic, read through it, and
shit all over it
discuss its literary merits.
We are currently reading Fallout: Equestria
Thread number four. We are nearing the end of the tunnel, thank God.
Previous thread: >>304714 →
Currently on Chapter 38: Peace in Our Timehttps://www.fimfiction.net/story/119190/40/fallout-equestria/chapter-thirty-eight-peace-in-our-time
Continuing from previous post.>>311555 →Page bweak
. Littlepoop falls unconscious, has a flashback, and drones on about how shitty she thinks her life is for literally eleven paragraphs. Nothing else happens.Page break
. Littlepoop wakes up in a filthy, unfamiliar bed in some abandoned cottage somewhere. I'm sure kkat is writing from personal experience here. She whines for several more paragraphs about how miserable she is, even claiming to have PTSD from losing a rib, even though she stated earlier that it had been healed with magic and she will sustain no permanent injury other than a scar.>The heart-rending blow of watching Applejack step out of that elevator… and realizing that Applesnack had intended to propose to her that very night, and she was anticipating it… oh Goddesses.
This is another continuity error along the lines of what I pointed out in the previous chapter. By her own admission, she did not view the orb whose events she is referencing here until after Canterlot, and unless she's been losing herself in orbs during battles again, she would not have had time to view it between their escape from Canterlot and the present. She should not have witnessed these events yet.
LP can hear her friends talking in the next room. Apparently they found some new armor for SteelHooves from somewhere, or found some armor they could use to repair his existing armor, or something along those lines, because they are discussing rehabilitation for him. He can't move properly at present, but should be fine in a bit. Also, Xenith is there, so presumably they are back at Glyphtown or whatever that place was called.
Anyway, SteelHooves gives a schmaltzy speech about how Applejack learned to love zebras, and so he figures he could learn to love them too. You may or may not remember that SteelHooves doesn't like zebras, or doesn't trust them, or something. At least I think that was a thing with him. Anyway, the significance seems to be that he's over it now, and he and Xenith can be friends I guess. Nothing else happens.Page break
. Littlepoop is still sick or injured or something, so is Velvet, and SteelHooves presumably hasn't learned to walk again yet, so it seems they will need to rest for a couple of days. Xenith comes in and rubs ointment into Littlepoop's horribly painful bum-wounds, and tells her that she is not allowed to get out of bed until she is rested enough to stand on her own and keep down solid food.
For some reason, LP is in a huge hurry to resume her mission all of a sudden. It's been about twelve chapters since Red Eye first gave her the task of killing the Goddess, and told her that there was a bomb in Tenpony Tower that would explode if she didn't do his evil bidding incidentally, how is that situation coming along, anyway? bomb still tick, tick, ticking away?
. Since that time, LP has done nothing but goof around and go on side missions, stopping to help every random pony she bumps into, no matter how trivial and mundane their problem is. She's still done absolutely fuck-all in terms of progress on this mission, though to her credit she did finally complete the mission the Goddess tasked her with, when she agreed to do a mission for her instead of killing her, which was the original mission.
So, what's the big hurry all of a sudden? Why not rest, take a few days off, heal your injuries, which for some reason you can't just shrug off by downing a potion this time around? You were willing to spend several days goofing around in Tenpony immediately after Red Eye gave you this assignment, so what exactly is the issue?
Anyway, they talk about Xenith's daughter for a bit. Seems like she's being basically written out of the story so that Xenith can rejoin the party. Since she wasn't much of a character in the first place, I don't think anyone is really going to miss her that much. After this, Littlepoop proceeds to mumble to herself about the usual nonsense until eventually the scene ends.
She embarks on one of her annoying little self-doubt episodes, bemoaning that she is about to lead her friends on a mission but she doesn't even know what the plan is since she erased her own memory. Then, she remembers that she is Mary Sue, the Chosen One, and nothing bad could ever possibly happen to her.>I’ve told everypony their parts, and just their parts.>Every pony...>Oh!>…because the Goddess couldn’t read zebra minds.>A smile broke across my muzzle. Ooooh, I was a clever pony!
Has it been established that the Goddess can't read zebra minds? This is actually a serious question; I really can't keep track of even half of the ridiculous rules that have been introduced into this story thus far, but kkat is generally more less consistent when it comes to these kinds of details. Anyway, it looks like LP's plan is going to revolve around Xenith somehow.Page break
. It looks like someone else might have pointed out the continuity error with the memory orbs to kkat, because this scene starts with an angry rant from Calamity about LP viewing a box of memory orbs while he was off getting the Fart Cruiser. If I'm interpreting it correctly, the idea is that LP watched all six of the orbs while she was in the warehouse, sometime between Calamity's exit and the basement explosion.
This one is a draw, as far as I'm concerned. +1 to kkat for recognizing and correcting a continuity error, -1 for doing it in an idiotic, clumsy and illogical way.