>>378903"Diamond Tiara!"
Miss Cheerilee looked exasperated. The little pink filly completely ignored her. She got up, trotted over to my desk, and made a small circle around it.
"You don't look like anypony I've ever seen before," she said, looking me up and down.
My eyes narrowed. There was something off about this one. She was wearing some sort of strange metal device on her head. It looked like a tiara, and her
name was Diamond Tiara, and she had one of those butt-pictures that was
shaped like a tiara. I was beginning to sense a theme. However, I wasn't fooled for a second. That thing on her head was an alien transmitter, I would have staked my reputation as a paranormal investigator on it.
From the way she was acting this filly clearly saw herself as an alpha dog, and she didn't seem to fear the authority of "Miss Cheerilee." Most likely, she was an enforcer sent by "Princess Celestia" to keep tabs on the rest of the class. More than likely everything I said was being recorded and transmitted back to some central command center in the horse capital.
"How come you're so weird looking?" she repeated. Her lieutenant, the little gray filly with the glasses who sat next to her, snickered.
Diamond Tiara had an impish smile on her face, and she was obviously trying to get my goat. But I wasn't going to fall for any equine head games. I pulled an asparagus stalk out of my pack, singed the tip with my lighter and took a puff.
"My friend Bill's even weirder looking than I am," I replied, exhaling.
The class laughed. Diamond Tiara's scowl deepened. She opened her mouth to say something else, but before she could get the words out Miss Cheerilee stomped her hoof again.
"That's enough!" she barked. The entire class quieted down. "Diamond Tiara, please return to your seat."
She shot me a nasty look, but did as her teacher asked. I smiled inwardly. If this was the best agent this "Celestia" had to send, I was going to bust this conspiracy wide open in no time.
"Alright, class," Cheerilee continued. "That's enough questions for Rusty Shackleford. Now it's time to get back to our lesson. Yesterday, we were talking about..."
The horse went off into a lecture. I tried to listen, but most of it sounded like nonsense. Apparently, they all believed that flying horses could command the weather, and destiny was controlled by something called "cutie marks." For a race of super-intelligent horses, they sure didn't seem all that bright.
What a pack of crazy conspiracy nuts, I thought.