Thus we begin the 53rd Nuts thread. There'd be more, except I've gotten lazy and won't bake until threads are ~1500 posts now.
Its an RP thread based on core D&D rules (3.5e particularly). Anyone can shitpost, comment, or play as they prefer, though making a character does require a small bit of detail.
The party is currently almost totally divided. Not on philosophical or moral grounds, they're just not in the same place at the same time. Infernius is kidnapping Trump for some reason, who was headed to check out the Sil wall, which is a concept he's only recently heard of, but will probably like.
Tracy is headed to Cardashil to stab things and (maybe) get her previous stash of knives back from.
Stix is exploring the primeval forest, intent on finding Trollestia (?), while Torcuil and Snek - when they're not attacking one another - are taking the airship to Krenshall.
Thez hasn't been seen since learning that Kefka is still (again?) alive, which she seemed most emphatically not pleased to discover.
Its mid-week, so it won't shouldn't, but probably will get hairy until later. So then, go nuts.
1627 replies and 153 files omitted.
[1d20 = 8]>>57880Tracy attempts to trip/push-over the rolling mailbox with her spiked chain.
>>57880Torc does a quick double take
"Wellhelloagain.WouldIfindyoufourateverydeskinthistown?"
>>57857"So bacon. Very taste. Much eat."
>>57883"Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?"
"Wherethehelldidyoucomefrom?"
"A FUCKING HUMAN!"
"Ohshit,"
>>57884I'm rather fond of Blink Doge.
>>57884"Me can feed you bacon anytime if you stay on my farm."
>>57884Torc is holding back from shouting 'AFUCKINGGNOME'
"Nevermind,Itakeityouguysareinchargeofordersandthelikes?"
>>57890Thats low energy guacamole boy
>>57886>wagging intensifies>>57887"No,thisthemetalfabricationdepartment.Noonejustwandersinhere,meaningsomonesentyou,whichmeansthatyouneedsomethingmade.So,whatisit?"
>>57894"Ineedacannonmade"
GM, does polymorph any object have a range?
If so, can Torc reach cardishore with it?
>>57763Sorry, I missed this post. However, had I not missed this post, Stix would find that the squirrel just stares blankly at him the entire time.
>>57896I will freely allow Torcuil to polymorph to Cardishore
Do you prefer to continue the dialogue, or are you wanting that to be cinema'd?
By that I mean, I can say "Torcuil explains" and then carry on, or continue shitposting in gnome.
>>57898Uh.... what happened to Tracy's attack on the robot?
>>57898?????
Polymorph doesn't move a character...
I'd prefer my gnomish shitposting please, I just wanted to know if Torc can transform an entity in cardishill
[1d20+13 = 20]>>57901The trip attempt fails, as the creature's shape and design give it a substantial bonus against trip attacks on level ground.
A small hole opens in the front of the device, through which can be seen a thin cylinder with a small flame, somehow perpetuated at the tip.
Oh wait, my bad, that's not an attack roll, its a saving throw. Tracy and Trump roll against simulated breath weapon. ^_^
>>57902Oh that's what you meant. I thought you were somehow mixing polymorph and teleport. I was looking forward to Torcuil waking up in the entertron for attempting to teleport with a polymorph spell. No, he cannot polymorph someone hella far away. Range is 25'+5'/level
[1d20+15 = 25]>>57904"I've been waiting for a reflex save!"
>>57906That's a +18 modifier for reflex saves...
I hope it's reflex..
[4d20 = 52]>>57903Trumpaladin strikes at the foul beast of metal with his mighty Sword, Sugoito
"Die you damned Dalek, or Cylon, or whatever you are! This is for Caprica!"
Modifiers here assume the sunder bonus of +7 can apply. If not, subtract 3 from each modifier (I think)
+27 +22 +17 +12
>>57910That's the wrong question. The question is does she have the requisite feat to have it not be a complete fail.
>>57911Wait your turn, you're being set on fire
>>57912Tracy has Improved Evasion..
Does she live?
>>57913THIS PONY'S ON FIIIIIREEEE
>>57914"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
It's getting late, not to be a bitch...
[14d8 = 71]>>57915But yes, Tracy takes half damage.
Trump on the other hand does not have Improved Evasion. Tracy is X/2
Now, Trump was attacking yes?
Per
>>57911>>57917I HAVE THE RING OF EVASION
>>57897Sorry I got to this so late as well.
Stix looks at the squirrel. It takes him a second to realize that he isn’t getting an answer.
“Well, I guess I have to be going now. It was nice meeting you.”
Stix gets up and studies his map to see how to get out of here.
>>57922You're not going to ask more?
>>57920Awww,... fine.
The 2 misses. Sorry, it
is AC
The 19 and 15 land, while the 16 misses.
Its a pity that Trump was attacking it directly instead of Sundering parts of it.
>>57922"Wait, I have a question for you," the squirrel interjects in a dramatic manner as he turns to leave.
>>57923Best not to push luck with something going to do unknowable things to someone.
>>57925“Ah, yes?”
The wind in and around the grove picks up swirling leaves about in a picturesque manner. For a moment the surrounding trees dance, and sound is blocked out by the roar of it. As it dies down, the squirrel looks at Stix seriously and says,
"Do you like bananas?"
>>57929Tracy takes a double move action to leap back 160 ft in any direction away from what just shot fire at her, running like a bitch while the tank deals with the flaming mailbox.