Thus we begin the 53rd Nuts thread. There'd be more, except I've gotten lazy and won't bake until threads are ~1500 posts now.
Its an RP thread based on core D&D rules (3.5e particularly). Anyone can shitpost, comment, or play as they prefer, though making a character does require a small bit of detail.
The party is currently almost totally divided. Not on philosophical or moral grounds, they're just not in the same place at the same time. Infernius is kidnapping Trump for some reason, who was headed to check out the Sil wall, which is a concept he's only recently heard of, but will probably like.
Tracy is headed to Cardashil to stab things and (maybe) get her previous stash of knives back from.
Stix is exploring the primeval forest, intent on finding Trollestia (?), while Torcuil and Snek - when they're not attacking one another - are taking the airship to Krenshall.
Thez hasn't been seen since learning that Kefka is still (again?) alive, which she seemed most emphatically not pleased to discover.
Its mid-week, so it won't shouldn't, but probably will get hairy until later. So then, go nuts.
1477 replies and 131 files omitted.
>>58396"I SPECIFICALLY WANTED YOU TO NOT KNOW"
>"Listen, I'm just saying 7/10. Evil enough to be entertaining and not good, but your motives where definitally in the right.">>58407Uh let's see, closure and... hmm, can't think of a good word for it.
In a nutshell: He wants to help those that suffered the fate of his people, but he also wants to move on and gain closure. He may not have been able to save the ones close to him, but he'll help the ones he can.
>>58409>>58410Im glad to have you as an admiral.
Hey stix can you ponyfiy this?
>>58427
I cant draw though.
>>58355See that's funny cuz I'm a half-decent sketch but unless its crappy shoops I can't modify images to save my soul. I'll give some samples
Censorship is wrong.
>>58391>Break the gameWho are you to say when a game is "broken"? There are always greater obstacles.
Infernius and Torc can cast all of their spells without preparation or materials,and we still manage to have fun with things anyway, what I want to attain over time pales in comparison to that, so I don't see how that could possibly "break" the game.
Holy shit. What part of that opinion was so ban-able?
>>58434Hey tracy im gonna run a campaign,wanna join? Everyone else has.
>>58435What campaign?
I've got stuff to do this morning.
>>58436Its a space based campaign(based on the D20 system).
Im not gonna run it today, i was just asking you to join.
>>58437Sounds like fun. Might give it a shot.
>>58438Earth 2044
American Reich (NSWPP)(Shane Rocwell 3rd Fhürer)
Holy Russian Republic (Orthodox Republic)(Andrei Rasputin)
Neo- Britannia (monarchy)
(King Chad I)
4th Reich of Germany (NSDAB)
(Ansell Frost)
Lone star empire (monarchy)
(Hunter Dixon)
Confederate States of America
(Anarcho capitalist)
Canadian badlands(technocrocy)
(Hans pal)
New Japanese empire (monarchy)(Hirohito 4)
League of Australian shitposters(Chanarcy) (lord Bruce the Dingoking)
Best Korea (fascist) (kek il song)
>>58439Kingdom of Jerusalem (fashymonarcy) (king constintine)
>>58438The break away point from our reality is 1964 Commander Rockwell got enough support to become president and the rest of the world saw an opportunity to get (((them))) off their backs as well. (((They))) are all gone from north America and Europe. The only ones still alive are on the island of Madagascar.
Okay,this has been bothering me for a while..
I hear Brad's faggot complaining about being "underpowered" all of the time, but if he wanted to deal more damage, why didn't he just take Extra Turning (or at least train for it)? In every battle, I see him saving his turning slots instead of using them for Divine Might for extra Char damage, and half the time he never even uses them later on (I mean, he's already got an inhuman amount of charisma). With Extra Turning, he could use his Charisma for his attack rolls more often without worrying about running out or why-ever he keeps saving his turning slots like they're more valuable than Smite Ebil.
I mean, Paladins (and Blackguards) who prioritize Charisma have the most possible damage per hit in an attack roll of any of the martial classes after level 6 when they spend their turning slots: that's why they have the alignment restrictions and uber-strict code of conduct. The likelihood that the party would suddenly encounter an army of zombies is pretty nil, so I don't see why he keeps saving his turning slots.
>>58447>>58446>>58445>>58442Wouldn't this be better in its own thread?
>>58433I didn't say right this instant, sheesh
>>58450Here's an old pic I did just before starting the game on Mlpol (circa the zombie fight)
>>58452And here's a quick 2-min sketch
>>58454What is the color scheme for these drawings? I want to see what I can do with color editing (which I suck at).
>>58454Thez is shorter and thiccccer.
Shes half elf and half dwarf.
>>58455The first pic is outdated, and would require a bit too much explanation. The second image is a gross simplification of something in between that and this
It will take me a couple hours to come up with a satisfactory sketch, and I won't be able to start on it today
>>58459Well, I could use the practice on these drawings, even if you don’t want them. I will use my own color choice if you don’t suggest anything, but I just wanted to know so I get your character’s color scheme right.
>>58460Hair, skin, eyes, the rest is classic martial-arts type garb (greys and blacks n sheeit).
Colors are approximations not definitions
>>58460Here's a pic I found that I use as something of a visual reference, except with the indicated color palette. Would b gold accents on rope and bracers.
>>58444It's also why I wish Tracy's Char we're higher, but she's not going to get the chance to increase her cloak any time soon..
>>58462Is that pale lavender supposed to be her skin?
>>58467Blackguard rebuke/command ability is actually pretty useless unless you've got huge Charisma for Divine Might, or you're a fallen. I misinterpreted her stats when I took the class.. BGs have access to a lot of insane pist-epic feats, but all of those require Char above 20..
I get a buffed-up cohort in two levels and a Sneak attack in one though, so I'm content with what I've got. Not taking any more than 5 levels though.
>>57324I keep trying to re-make that pic, but I can never get the colors right..
>>58456Although I can picture her pretty easily, I find it frustrating that I cannot find even one picture of a dwelf on the entire internet.
Looks like race-mixing of that particular variety is uncommon in fantasy land.
>"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer-"
"Oh so I can't sing, but you can?"
>"You're implying that you can sing"
"..."
>On her way to work one morning
>Down the path along side the lake
>A tender hearted woman saw a poor half frozen snake
>His pretty colored skin had been all frosted with the dew
>"Poor thing, " she cried, "I'll take you in and I'll take care of you"
"I fucking swear"
>"Take me in tender woman
>Take me in, for heaven's sake
>Take me in, tender woman, " sighed the snake
"I give up"
>She wrapped him up all cozy in a comforter of silk
>And laid him by her fireside with some honey and some milk
>She hurried home from work that night and soon as she arrived
>She found that pretty snake she'd taken to had been revived
"Why me damn it"
>She clutched him to her bosom, "You're so beautiful, " she cried
>"But if I hadn't brought you in by now you might have died"
>She stroked his pretty skin again and kissed and held him tight
>Instead of saying thanks, the snake gave her a vicious bite
"You better not do that to me"
>"I saved you, " cried the woman
>"And you've bitten me, but why?
>You know your bite is poisonous and now I'm going to die"
>"Oh shut up, silly woman, " said the reptile with a grin
>"You knew damn well I was a snake before you took me in
"Who taught you that poem?"
>"Trump"
"I see..."
>>58478*wipes tear from his eye*
"You've learned well, Snek. You've learned well"
>>58478That was beautiful... it brings a tear to my eye
>>58468If you mean "grey" then yes
[10d20 = 80]>>58487o_O
Return full-round boop, starting with a stunning boop
[1d20 = 19]>>58488>only 3 landedMeh, dice is Infernius' saving throw against being stunned
>>58495Str,i didn't add my bab yet.
>>58496He doesn't have a +42 str bonus! e_e
>>58497With the arms and the stat advancements and items,its +16 +12. What rlse do you add to a grapple?
... a raw 42 bonus for strength requires a strength score of 94. With a 39 Thez had a +14, so I don't know where the error occurred but try again. Xp.
[2d20 = 19]>>58501I'm assuming this action is taking place after he is done being stunned? Cuz she wouldn't at all be using her dodge bonus, or her dexterity bonus either, so the grapple would be successful. However.
T>Stunning Boop
First dice is attack (I'm not even putting modifiers in cuz anything >1 hits), 2nd is saving throw
"I can keep this up for 2 1/2 minutes!"
[2d20 = 15]
She thinks for a moment. "No, that's wrong. A round is 6 seconds, and I can do that 28 times/day,... so 28x6=,...." she trails off, continuing the game of stunning boop, grapple, repeat, for just under 3 minutes.
>>58507"Who says I'm even here? Where are you even?" she mocks.
>>58509"Which
isn't Port Barry which
someone insisted I stay behind and keep an eye on. This must be a figment of your imagination," she sighs.
>>58509"Me try to find allies for court city raid."
>>58510"Me think you try to psyche me out by saying that."
>>58512"You must have zoned out and are having a momentary dream, or perhaps an ebil wizard has cast a spell on you and you haven't become aware of it yet," she laments.
>>58513"Seems like me would have noticed."
>>58513"If you really thez tell me something only she would know."
>>58515She smiles and scoffs, "I'll not!"
[1d20+28 = 39]>>58516"Well in that case. Grapple!"
>>58517Does Ibfernius have improved grapple?
<whooof.> she's now seated across his shoulders now, her arms resting across his head. >>58518You said he earned it because he grappled with thez enough.
>>58519K. He's still being sat on though.
>crashing"Night my dude
*boop* We should sweep the forest in a gibbernigger eradication project.
>>58522Is that what you actually want/intend to do, or is that another one of 'those things' that gets mentioned, that I work toward, without ever coming back to?
>>58523Well, when I have the time for it..
>>58525Yeah, forget about that then...
[1d20+28 = 45]
*Grapples America*
>>58528So i guess i can install the new order now.
[1d20 = 10]
Rolling for a random unnamed supervillain to blow up the planet creating an artifact of immeasurable power
[1d20 = 19]>>58531I'm just displaying that two can play the rolling game
Rolling for a plague
[1d20 = 2]>>58532Rolling to invent antibiotics
>>58532The U.S. and much of the world is now plauged by Third World Immigrants
>>58533You should not be allowed to roll for things like that
>>58534From the U.S. to Costa Rica to Chile to every nation of Europe to even places like the freaking United Arab Emirates, there is now a plague of Third World immigration
[1d20 = 4]
Rolling for a collosal destructive monster to be waiting for us at the port when we get back.
[1d20 = 9]
rolling 4 space aliens
Rolling to ban this cancer
>>58535You shouldn't be allowed to believe the holocaust happened
[1d20 = 7]
Rolling for radioactive meteor.
>>58542I was referring to the fact that you have horrible luck, so your "rolling to prevent pandemic" results in a 2
[1d20 = 8]
Rolling for Bear-Cavalry attack.
>>58547Stop being a faggot you only get 1 roll a day.
>>58551I have to crack a smile every time I see such autism. It may be cancer, but it is hilarious to see what meme culture would look like when brought into real life.
Gosh, it's been a long week...
Rangers get to summon pets, right?
Stix needs one.
>>58554I’m afraid to get one. The moment I try and use it for something, I will roll a one and kill my friend.
>>58555Checked
>>58554Gosh, these creatures are beautiful.
Too bad they're endangered.
>>58556An animal companion is just for fighting. It's for hunting, trucking, and generally being cute.
No harm in raising powerful creatures for the pleasure of it. Tracy is raising two Rocs.
>>58558That being, you don't have to make your pet fight at all. It could just be a creature that you happen to be raising, a juvenile even.
>>58557More /an/-posting, because I like animals.
*adjusts dinosaur costume*
I just realized that Tracy's Etherrealness is a Supernatural ability, not a spell-like ability: it cannot be quickened.
>>58565*not understanding D&D intensifies*
Does quicken mean make it fast, or like the old english meaning and make it alive?
>>58566You can apply feats to certain spells to make them better. This one would have made it faster.
*breaths in disgusting city-air*
>>58568"Tracy what happen before Infernuis got here?"
She changed her disguise like twice since anyone last saw her, and her armor conceals her features beneath it. Who is it that's speaking to her now?
>>58576>>58575"Um, pardon me. I don't think we've met before."
>>58578There's nothing visible to remove. It's an illusion.
>>58580"Interesting." Says the purple dinosaur
"How come?"
>>58582"Being stabbed led you to appreciate stabbing?" The reptile inquires "You have a peculiar taste."
I'm dead tired, so sorry for unfinny bantz >>58583"Yes me wouldn't have made it through torture if she didnt stab me."
>>58584The dinosaur smiles at this
"They say what doesn't kill you
gives you XP makes you stronger."
>>58585"You right random dinosaur. How long you been here?"
Jej >>58586The dinosaur's eyes shift left and right a bit.
"Ummm.. you know, a while..." he says dismissively.
>>58585A METEOR COMES STRAIGHT FOR THE DINOSAUR
Except it's not a meteor. It's a knight in shining armor, atop a glistening, gilded, winged lioness
>>58588>knight in shining armorlol, he still looks like an ostrich: That stuff lasts 2 hours.
>>58589The Ostrich screams at the purple sex therapist dinosaur,
"THIS IS YOUR MINDSET!"
[1d20+28 = 43]>>58592GRAPPLE
"No hurt dino friend he nice."
>>58594"Now, now, no need to get rough." says the wise dinosaur
[1d20+28 = 36]>>58595"Me gonna rape this ostrich"
>>58597Tracy, consumed by her impeccable disguise, is not entirely sure how to respond to this.
"O-oh dear.. Why don't we all stop and talk about this for a moment?"
>>58597Dimension Doors the fuck out of there!
>>58598"DIE BARNEY FAG!"
>>58604Oh, i think my muscles just tore.
>>58597>rolled an 8>>58598>rolled a 3>>58604>rolled a 1I think we can more or less guess how this encounter went
>>58610Hey man you said it was fine.
>>58613Dont apologize to him. You did nothing wrong.
reeeeeeee no use discord! I wanna chat too!
>>58616We can chat here, can’t we?
>>58565Also, even if it were, only spells up to 6th level can be quickened.
>>58618So, what’s new? Anything exciting going on?
>>58620Not really.. kind of boring and lonely..
Actually, I have to go for like an hour, sorry.
>>58621That’s ok. See you later.
>>58444Bumping this, because I don't think he saw it.
Brad's faggot, did you ever take Divine Might? I can't remember seeing you use it.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Divine_Might I'm not going to be able stall until Friday to bake a new bread am I?
>>58624It makes mobile next to impossible.