Thus we begin the 53rd Nuts thread. There'd be more, except I've gotten lazy and won't bake until threads are ~1500 posts now.
Its an RP thread based on core D&D rules (3.5e particularly). Anyone can shitpost, comment, or play as they prefer, though making a character does require a small bit of detail.
The party is currently almost totally divided. Not on philosophical or moral grounds, they're just not in the same place at the same time. Infernius is kidnapping Trump for some reason, who was headed to check out the Sil wall, which is a concept he's only recently heard of, but will probably like.
Tracy is headed to Cardashil to stab things and (maybe) get her previous stash of knives back from.
Stix is exploring the primeval forest, intent on finding Trollestia (?), while Torcuil and Snek - when they're not attacking one another - are taking the airship to Krenshall.
Thez hasn't been seen since learning that Kefka is still (again?) alive, which she seemed most emphatically not pleased to discover.
Its mid-week, so it won't shouldn't, but probably will get hairy until later. So then, go nuts.
1477 replies and 135 files omitted.
Tracy spits out dirt and curses.
"Well if I can't sing, what music do you like?"
>"I thought you'd never ask"Suddenly, Mr. Snek is wearing sunglasses and a hat that Torc finds somewhat familiar.
He also now has a speaker playing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSLPkVHScVwTracy wanders back towards the grove to check out on howto set up her barbed wire.
>>56805This is for me throwing salt in Tracy's transit to Cardashil isn't it?
>>56805We can buy livestock, right?
>>56806Well, I assumed Cardashil was a no-go until this weekend.
>>56810"Why are you taking me? What is going on?"
>>56812Trumpaladin thinks he understands now
>>56807Well maybe not as late as the weekend, but I have to revamp Cardashil if that's where Tracy is headed, since its been a minute since the last time "I thought Tracy/party was going to Cardashil".
Xp >>56814Can Tracy go buy livestock for her ranch in the meantime?
>>56816Great.
After Tracy finishes buying her barbed wire, she returns to the port.
Stix wanders back into the forest. This time, hoping to avoid suspicious looking trees that may be home to various killer creatures.
>>56819Avoid the ones with converging sequences of trails
There should be a cottage next to the ranch.. Outta build one.
Tracy carefully checks on her jar to see if the hoof-eating soccerball is still alive.
>>56820Aware that following small footprints got him into trouble last time, he curbs his natural curiosity and stays on a path to what he believes is where Trumpaladin said there was a grove.
>>56822Its stuck to the side of the jar, but otherwise fine
>>56823With that thought in mind, Stix notices that the various spiralling trails which surround the tree come from only 3 of the cardinal directions, and that beyond the tree, there appears to be an almost (almost) absence of any natural foot-traffic. In the distance he can see a sweeping plain, with a small body of water weaving its way through the grass.
>>56824Naturally, the plain would be a good place to check out.
But could he make it around the tree without possibly alerting anything?
will this need a roll? >>56826"Uh.... Okay. We need Fae to..."
[1d20+21 = 25][hard-working mudpony noises]
"I'm glad I have this magick hand, or this barbed wire would be insufferable."
>>56824Sleight of Hand to slip a tiny sandwich into the jar before it notices.
>>56828I.. idk if that succeeded..
[1d20 = 8]>>56825Stix tries to sneak around the tree to get to the clearing.
[1d20 = 10]>>56828I'm at a loss. What is to be gained by putting in a sandwich unnotices vs. putting in a sandwich noticed?
>>56833 >>56834Mostly, to not get snapped at.
Before he can move 3 feet, Stix is suddenly surrounded by Gibbers, who tear at him from all sides until he's a dilapidated corpse.
I'm kidding, carry on past the tree.
>>56836 I wouldn’t have been surprised... hehe Stix makes it to the clearing and takes a look around.
>>56835Tracy is there, trying to feed her captive without getting glued again.
>>56837Not to the clearing yet, but well on the way.
>>56838This is good. I like this. It happens.
https://youtu.be/2vjPBrBU-TMBGM cuz. I'm still analyzing this song. There's a nugget in there I haven't dislodged,....
>>56840Tracy checks to see if the creature is still conscious
>>56841*if it has regained consciousness
>>56840Stix thought it was the clearing, but was only fantasizing he had made it. Strange, but I guess it wasn’t the first time he could swear his dream was real.
He continues to sneak...
I have no idea what I’m doing half the time, sorry [1d20 = 15]>>56843Fuck! Why do I always click the subject box?
>>56842>>56841"You still alive there, little guy?" Tracy implores after placing the snack in the jar
[1d20 = 14]>>56840By the way, that is some satanic/demon possession type stuff in that video... that ain’t right.
>>56846Upon inspection, Tracy can see that its rather stuck. It seems to have adhered to the bottom corner of the jar, and while it did a decent job of eating the sammich, its still kinda fixed. They really should learn to restrict their glue-secretions.
Torc and Snek's journey in a nutshell
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=basofea2UEs>>>/test/>>56847I can see how it could be interpreted that way, but I see it differently. I see it as the divide between child-like sensibilities and modern expectation and socialization, resulting in (per the lyrics) an individual who is torn between two extremes.
>>56849They can't undo their own glue?
Tracy gives the creature another sandwich, since Elway knows how long it's been since it last ate.
>>56850I want to see the adventures of Torc and Snek as a tv series.
>>56851 Or torn apart in the sense of the mind breaking due to those mind control tactics Hollywood uses to train actors to get into character better which can form split personalities. Conspiracy stuff... >>56853⠰⡿⠿⠛⠛⠻⠿⣷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣤⣄⣀⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠛⠛⣿⣿⣿⡛⠿⠷
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⠿⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠇
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠁
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣄⠀⢶⣶⣷⣶⣶⣤⣀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠗
⠀⠀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣠⣤⣴⣶⡄
⠀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣥⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠛⠃
⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄
⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡁
⠈⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠁
⠀⠀⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉
Will you settle for a bunch of greentexts?
[1d169 = 15]
Ignore this as Torc and snek fight over musical tastes
*wonders where vrad ran off to*
"Some-"
>"What are you doing?"
"BODY ONCE TOLD ME-"
>"No, plz"
"THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME-
>"I'll 360 no-scope u m8"
"I AIN'T THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SH-"
Torc is cut off by Snek grabbing him and dangling him off the ship
>>56864"Just waiting for her to catch up, that is all"
>>56861o_O
>>56865We're watching the movie,... again
Can Tracy craft an ebil version of a Sun blade? A black sun blade?
>>56862"I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, AND I'LL TAKE YOU RIGHT BACK OUT OF IT!"
>"You really aren't in the position to make threats.""PULL ME UP"
>"What's that, you want a free airship ride?""NO!"
>>56867Cool your fucking heels m8. The black sun isnt evil.
>>56867I like the sound of that to be honest
>>56868o_o
>>56869I know.. but it'd be
so cool.
>>56870I imagined a blade that produces Blacklight instead of Daylight.
>>56871"I'm not much of an outdoorsman. Let's get a hotel room in Cardishore"
>>56872>BlacklightSo she can see the semen stains everywhere?
>>56872It would be a unique item,... but I'm kinda liking the idea desu
[2d20 = 30]>>56873"Theres no hotel rooom around here, sit down on that rock over there me make fire"
*gathers wood and makes a fire*
>>56871"DO WHAT YOU WA-"
Snek sighs and lets go
"CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE"
>"Wut?"Snek then sees Torc flying next to the ship
"YOU ARE A PIRATE"Snek resigns to his fate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdi-CMwSXlQ >>56877"Reeeeeee! We can drive until we hit Cardishore! I am good at night, I do it all the time..."
>>56880Cardishore isn't that far away, is it?
Also, where is everybody going?
Is it Cardishore or Cardashil?
>>56881Cardishore is as far from Sparintenar as it is from Port Barry, and directly along the path. The destination, I think? is Gatesil or Greensil. With Greensil being a more direct path from Krenshall. Probably the most logical thing to do would be to head to Krenshall and try to meet up with Torcuil and try to take the much faster airship, but just going there is another possibility.
Infernius wants to capm along the road for some reason... Trumpaladin would have kept going until reaching Cardishore (hopefully before midnight) set up a room there, then gone all day the next day (because the sils are very far away)
>>56884He could just call his horse if he wants to get there faster.
>>56880"Chill, we wait untill fae gets here then we leave."
>>56882>>56883The sil wall
>>56882TBH, I think its both, speaking from precedence
I want those daggers back...
I want to raise gorgons on my farm.
>>56853You may have a point. To a degree its an indictment of of the mentality of society and the mentality that is being forced on the younger generations, and the coping methods that are both resorted to and in many ways conditioned to utilize. In a way, it resonates with the concerns I have for the over-saturation of dopamine-producing experiences and devices. Social media addiction translates to other forms of addiction quite readily, and considering the degree of maturation that is stunted by reliance on such devices and things (and I say that, having devoted the first 20 years to emergent video game consoles) the general message of the song (and the coreography of the video) makes sense in that context.
>>56915>choreography I know they did direct it... but it still looks like someone said: run around like a madman and we will make bucket loads of money.
the part where she messed with her eye was no accident... tin hat intensifies >>56914>OniThose are basically the same as ogre mages: Not exactly livestock.
>>56917Lets run a eugenics programme for true aryan ogres.
>>56917Then again, neither are gorgons.
They're cool as fuck though. Maybe they can be crossbred with cattle to breed a more docile species for commercial use.
>>56918Now that's an idea.
>>56919When you say cattle what do you mean?
>>56920U-ugh.. Um.. Domestic/Dire cattle?
>>56922Gorgons are basically the Hecks of D&D.
I want giant goats too.
>>56924Was just going to mention those.
The entire estate can be divided into sections based on element.
The gorgons and cockatrices can go in the rock farm.
>>56925Are there any monsters that use gas?
>>56926I want firebreathing, screaming, fiendish goats/sheep.
I'll use Infuego as a stud.
*dresses up goat in bightly-colored bedazzled purple pimp hat, leopard-spotted pimp jacket, and a whole bunch of gold chains and other swag*
>>56928You had me at firebreating goat.
>>56927Plenty.
They should have a farm aesthetic though.
Gorgons look like cows, cockatrices look like chickens, and so on.
>>56931See
>>56919A gorgon is basically a bull with stone skin.
>>56932I was thinking medusa tier gorgons.
>>56933Those are just called "Medusas": They're a race of monstrous humanoids.
>>56932I see now. I misread that as goron at first.
>>56937It's 78 degrees inside my apartment
[complaints about barbed wire being more difficult to handle than you'd think]
>>56916No doubt, and I'm not dismissing the inevitable (((influence))) in the video, though the assertion that its not coreographed is false, as there have been repeat performances. Addtly, the girls in question clearly has dance and gymnastics training.
Having said, and having poured over the music, lyrics, and imagery, it strikes me that song pertains to suicide.
>>56917Ehhhh, not quite, but agreed; not livestock
>>56919They're better than oni
>>56928>firebreathing goatThat's almost exactly what he is
>>56940Yeah, I know it was directed... just looks like it wasn’t. It’s just that weird interpretative dance/new age stuff.
and “suicide” is something Hollywood knows a great deal about... *upgrading from tin foil hat to full body suit* >>56941Fun fact, the duration of the song is 3:33, and the album is called 1000 Forms of Fear
>suitPleb, I have tinfoil cover-alls
>>56942>cover-allsI just found the next level past that... how is your foil game looking now?
>>56932I wonder how much their milk sells for.
>>56943I can see that I am outclassed, a sporting victory
>>56944>huehue le cheese jokeIt's been a slow day today...
>>56945Yes... now I just have to obtain said armor of the mighty crusaders against the phoenix.
>>56947Looks like this one doesn’t, but they have smaller ones that do. These guys are nuts.
>>56949Aluminum was more expensive than any metal in medieval times. It was almost unheard of.
It's actually pretty recently that humans have had the capacity to refine it, and now it's so cheap it's often thrown away.
I imagine it's be really light, but not that hard at all, and it blocks mind-affecting/enchantment affects when it directly covers the head.
>>56950It might also help reflect laser attacks. Shiny stuff seems to work most of the time.
>>56950>rarityMeh. Off the cuff, I would rate it as having greater hardness than wood (but less than steel obv), and significantly lighter. Basically, I'm seeing it as being diet Mythril, except with mind-shielding
Tracy goes looking for lumber to build a small shack in the grove.
>>56953*chops down tree and drags it*
*builds cottage at the edge of the woods*
>>56954>>56955Uhm,... the process is a bit more complicated than that. You're welcome to build a cottage but you might want to talk to Slovenia, as a log cabin is rather resource consumptive (
A tree?) whereas a tree that is properly milled might suit the purpose (it will still take more than one tree). Also, chopping down a tree and THEN building a cabin is also resource (time) consumptive.
>>56956What I had in mind was really a makeshift box-thing to store wire-coils and materials; not a shelter of any kind.
I guess that could wait though.
>>56958Yeah, a temporary one.
I was just bored tbh. Would have her train/craft, but she's away from the tower.
>>56959Actually, fug it, she was last training for Fleet of Foot.
Tracy runs around in circles in the meadow, trying to figure out how to turn on a dime.
[1d20 = 20]
*hunts some animals*
>>56961You have the most curious timing for 20s
>>56963Any 20 is a good 20 though.
>>56941Quick follow up, I was right. The song Chandelier was written in the aftermath of a period where she lost a partner to an accident and descended into a period of serious drug and alcoholism from which she almost took her life, having penned a suicide note.
>>56949Would that be light or almost non-existent?
>>56967Matters how thin it is.
Paper-thin armor is worse than leather.
>>56967Still working on it. Quarter-inch thick aluminum obviously kicks the crap out of leather as far as protection, and isn't terribly encumbering. Also, I should point out that sorcerers aren't subject to the same armor restrictions wizards are.
I want a glass chainshirt.
>>56971Strike that, simple
weapons only, but still no armor.
[1d20 = 17]>>56963I know, what did i hunt down?
>>56962Thanka
[1d20 = 20]
Stix continues his sneak past tree of death. He looks at the ground beneath him.
“Sticks... why’d It have to be sticks?”
>>56974It had to be something interesting.Something interesting, I hope.
>>56973Bards get light armor though
>>56975Are you fookin me?
>>56980Oh wait, you aren't Infernius
>>56977>>56976>>56978>>56979Posting has been fug for me today.. Might just be my computer though.
>>56982Oy vey! Our spy networks are on the fritz toda-
I mean... yes goy.,. your computer is very bad today. We know it is tough, so be sure to upgrade to the latest model with the latest in spy... er... security features! You won’t live to regret it.
>>56983Shlomo i have a free train ride for you, please step on to my train.
>>56985FREE? Wait...
Sorry my good goy... er, friend. I don’t ride with those that are not as well educated in the Talmud as I am. I will have to just get free rides from elsewhere.
>>56987Well the my fine white man, the free trainride is only for people who practice Judaism.
>>56988Well why didn’t you say so? You are a true friend of Israel and a good ally. You will go far in life this way.
>>56974What are you looking for exactly? I mean, is he literally hunting game or something, or is he looking for wildlife to put on the ranch?
>>56975And without too much fuss, Stix is able to maneuver his way around the tree and beyond. Wait, didn't he already make it past the tree? Didn't he make the field with the creek?
>>56989*train leaves for Auschwitz.*
>>56990>>56840I thought you said I didn’t. Oh well.
Stix takes in the scenery, not sure what he his next course of action is.
>>56991Going to see a historical site where muh holocaust happened? Excellent! All the goyim must learn of the 6 gorzillion. And then there are the secret deaths of 6 zillion more before it all ever happened!
Tracy is running around in circles right past the creek.
>>56994You could use commune with nature to find monsters in the area.
>>56993Yes we must bever forgetti the sixtysix million.
>>5699616th caster lvl too: that's a 16 mile radius to find any unusual/powerful creature.
>"Checkmate"
"This is uno"
>"So?"
>>56992Hmmmm. Curses, I'm going to have to look for it now.
In any case, yes. Stix has progressed beyond the forest into a large and open grassland, with a small creek running through it. In the distance, he can see the beginnings of a quaint and secluded grove. Oh, and apparently Tracy can be seen running in circles in the distance.
>>56994<ahem> Is he looking to hunt something, or is he looking for something to stick on the ranch?>>56999Twice
>>56997I’m sure you can round it to 66 million and 6 hundred thousand. I’m sure many died fleeing to the oasis that was the USSR. Many a friendly face there, lots of family.
>>57001He walks to the grove while calling out
“Hey Tracy! How did you get here so fast?”
>>57006Would you like a tour of the ovens?
>>57008Wouldn't it be hospitable to offer a tired traveler a shower first?
>>57007“So, this is where that Trollestia character lives huh?”
>>57009Why yes goy... where are your manners?
>>57009>>57010Yees were are my manners im sorry mr shlomo would you like a complementary shower.
>>57011Perhaps later... first I must meet with the tour guide and learn of all the horrible things Hitler did. He was the most evil man in the world you know?
>>57010*icy cold wind sucks all the energy out of the meadow*
"Wat?"
>>57010I would recommend leaving her grove before she ingests a
certain drink >>57013“Umm... I don’t know. That’s why I asked you. Trumpaladin said something about a grove with a Trollestia in it. You know anything about that?”
>>57015Tracy's demented scowl warps a bit before vanishing altogether
"There's nobody like that around here, not that I've sensed over the past couple weeks."
*busies self with wire*
"Just me, enjoying the scenery*
>>57016“Oh, alright. I guess I will scout around since I have no clue as to where I am right now. But first... how has your rock been doing? You two getting along?”
>>57017"If you find anything around here, be sure to get back and tell me about it m'kay?"
>rock"Ummm.. ugh.. not exactly so sure yet.."
*taps jar*