Thus we begin the 53rd Nuts thread. There'd be more, except I've gotten lazy and won't bake until threads are ~1500 posts now.
Its an RP thread based on core D&D rules (3.5e particularly). Anyone can shitpost, comment, or play as they prefer, though making a character does require a small bit of detail.
The party is currently almost totally divided. Not on philosophical or moral grounds, they're just not in the same place at the same time. Infernius is kidnapping Trump for some reason, who was headed to check out the Sil wall, which is a concept he's only recently heard of, but will probably like.
Tracy is headed to Cardashil to stab things and (maybe) get her previous stash of knives back from.
Stix is exploring the primeval forest, intent on finding Trollestia (?), while Torcuil and Snek - when they're not attacking one another - are taking the airship to Krenshall.
Thez hasn't been seen since learning that Kefka is still (again?) alive, which she seemed most emphatically not pleased to discover.
Its mid-week, so it won't shouldn't, but probably will get hairy until later. So then, go nuts.
1477 replies and 145 files omitted.
[1d20 = 18]>>57019>tell me“Will do.”
Enters the grove and looks around.
perception check needed? >>57020"I prowl the perimeter of this place all the time, but I haven't found anything."
Would a spellcraft check allow Torc to summon a bowling ball above someones head?
And if it fails would it appear above Torc's head?
>>57021“Well... this is mainly to get familiar with this place. Everything is still so strange to me, I mean, in Equestria one day and here the next...”
Stix looks lost in thought for a second.
“Just a little shock, that’s all”
>>57022Please let this be true
>>57023Turns out I was thinking about a coconut, but same effect
>>57023"You'll get used to it.." Tracy says in a tone that offers no comfort
>>57002I'm still determining what Infernius found, I'm not ignoring you
>>57014What now?
>>57010Technically, the grove is just beyond Stix' position. I only make that correction to indicate greater distance, not that traveling will be any bother.
>>57024A coconut? Sure! A bowling ball? Myeh,....
>>57025“Indeed. Just got to make some steps to getting used to it.”
Stix pauses for a while, pondering if it would be safe to ask her a question.
“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but do you remember how you got here?”
[1d20 = 18]>>57027>A bowling ball? Myeh,….You underestimate Torc's power...
Anyway, Torc tries to summon a coconut above Snek's head for his basic misunderstanding of common games.
>>57029“I see...”
Realizing she doesn’t want to talk about it, he quickly wraps up
“Well, I will let you know if I see anything. Have a good day.”
>>57027Stix travels to the grove...
muh wasted dice... ugh! >>57035I’m so confused! Stix entered the clearing... talked to Tracy, who I thought was by a river/creak and the grove was beyond that... what is the layout here?
>>57037There's a meadow right before a grove that looks like a golf course. Tracy is in the grove.
>>57038This
Vs
>>57027This
Oh well... Stix explores around the grove that he may or may not have entered before now, he was lost in thought and can’t remember the details...
>>57039Sigh. Okay, let me be very specific. Well into the forest is the gnarly tree that the gibbers inhabit. There used to be a stash of jew gold there, but that's long gone. From Stix' direction, this led to the edge of the clearing with the creek. This clearing is approx. the size of a football field. Beyond
that is the grove where Tracy was chasing her tail, which I notice now Stix "walked to" in
>>57006 so I suppose he is at/in the grove.
goddamn fast travel shit >>57042Sorry GM... I’m still newfag and don’t get how to tell where I am spatially yet. o_o
I figured when I said I was walking toward the grove, I was moving while talking to Tracy. Sorry for my confusion.
>"Are you sure we didn't pass the gnomes already?"
"What? Yes I'm sure! Are you doubting my navigation skills?"
>"Yes"
>>57045No need to apologize, I should have been more descriptive with the environment. This is an area that Tracy extensively wandered, so I just reverted to my recollection.
>>57002Why would he know about the ranch, and how would he carry
live animals along a very, very long road trip across multiple cities?
>>57052He and Tracy agreed to work together because metafaggotry.
>>57052Why the contention? Tracy and Infernius have both spoken of having a ranch. Perhaps not to one another (in meta), but that doesn't preclude him from seeking an animal.
>>57054Is he going to carry the dog to cardishore then to Gatesil if they ever get there then back? He's neglected the last dog he got
>>57053>metafaggotryNaturally
>>57054I was away watching a movie for a few hours, and the break away gave me just a long enough period of lucidity to realize that this place will kill me
>>57056I'm aware of that, and I haven't gotten to the part where I ask "and this is all going on while Infernius is kidnapping Trump?". Quit spoiling.
>>57057You mean the ranch?
>>57059Why you have to be so black pilled my friend?
>>57063Care to unpack that a bit? The terse responses suggest that you don't, but I'm interested to hear your reasoning and analysis.
Stix sits down and contemplates why the grove is here, why he felt like he needed to come here, who is Trollestia, and why is the blue horse so good at being scary?
>>57066Nothing to be scared of from the horse
>>57066>why he felt like he needed to come hereWe all feel like if we just go to some far off grove, when we get there, what we've been looking for will be there. We all make that mistake.
>Who is TrollestiaI guess you'll never know
>Why is the blue horse so good at being scaryA product of your own mind, no more
>>57066Literally, because early in the game Tracy wanted to wander and explore. The gnarly tree came first, then the meadow, and then the grove, cuz I wanted Tracy to feel free and happy(?) for a moment
Well, Trumpaladin doesn't want to capture animals and carry them for three+ days, so I guess he either goes back to Sparintenar or onwards to Cardishore
>>57072He could come to the meadow if he wants.
>>57076Under these circumstances, it actually kind of makes sense that he'd call her
CALLS HORSEY
>"I'm somewhere between Sparentinar and Cardishore with Infenrius, but he's been acting a bit off" >>57077*sounds of comet landing behind him*
"Hi Flashy!"
>>57078"Gah!"
Turns out, the blue horse
is scary.
>>57081"I missed you too, Flashy"
*Hugs*
>>57082"What've you been up to, silly pony?"
>>57083"Just marking my territory and whatnot."
*Grows to full size and makes self comfy in the grass*
"Putting up fences and building sheds.
Oh, and I got bitten by a rock. It's sleeping now though."
>>57084"Sounds like you've been having more excitement than me. I haven't built any sheds or been bitten by any rocks.
Wanna take us to a hotel room in Sarintenar or Cardishore?"
>>57086"Do they even have hotels there? I'm comfy as is, but I'll take you anywhere if you need it."
*Beckons to lay down on her body*
>>57087"I guess I don't need a hotel at the moment"
*lays down on horse*
>>57088[Happy hoers noises]
*Is extra soft and warm to lay on*
>>57089*embraces softness of the magical blue fur*
>>57089>>57090D'awww
Thez wishes she was feelin' snuggly. Too many feels.
>>57090*Is glad to see he's comfy on her body as she lays down peacefully in the grass*
Good place to leave off as Tracy's faggot passes out
>>57092Except that it's not peaceful. Because Tracy is getting raped in her sleep
>rape >>57094No contest appearing, Tracy is raped
>>57095Don't be sad, thoughts of Infernius makes her not to cry. Don't think to much on it, she's emotional because she's preggo
and found out that Kefka is still alive.
>>57096I would've asked her what she was thinking about after that, but Tracy flew.
But yeah, it's always unnerving when the enemy just comes back after clearly being kill, especially because that entails that killing him again may just result in the same outcome.
>>57099Gotta find the energy to replace Arizona with something else though.
>>57100I like it with Arizona. It feels appropriate somehow
The main board could use some love right now...
*runs in circles to progress training*
I just realized I'm never going to be able to finish that mace if she can only cast Fear once per week. May as well give up on it..
>>57098Oh, its far deeper than that, but yes. I could tell you myself, but that would spoil the fun and a bit of the plot. ^_^
>>57099fixed
>>57110Not yet. I deliberately neglected to complete that situation because I wanted to think about how to present and theme the interaction. Don't worry, I came up with a good one.
*zig-zags across field to practice turning*
[1d20+10 = 24]>>57113On no you don't!
*controls running horsey*
>>57114He's on her back? Okay then; where are they going?
Technically, he could guide her, but he couldn't actually force her movements. >>57115I had envisioned it as like grabbing onto and trying to jump onto a running horse. Epic to watch but dangerous and not terribly likely to succeed. I'm not really sure where I was going with that... I guess mostly just to show that my character was still there
So last I checked, Trump wanted to go to the Sil wall, via the road to Cardashil, Infernius was kidnapping him but stopped to chase a dog, Stix is examining the area wondering about Trollestia, Tracy is running in circles nearby (with Trump riding, somehow) and Torcuil is headed to Krenshall with Snek on the airship. Am I missing anything?
>>57118Nope, I think you got it all
>>57119"You're so cute, Flashy."
>>57121K. I'll have something for everyone here in a bit
>>57123Toss Trump/Tracy a lvl 15 encounter.
>>57126*tries to wiggle way out from under horsey*
>>57127Oh don't be a pussy. I don't mean I'm going to throw anyone to the wolves, I just mean I have compelling and/or entertaining story/game elements to introduce.
But right now I'm cooking chicken.
>>57132Um.... what exactly is she scooching?
*faggot gets Greek food* >>57136>>57127Send Torc a lvl 14 encounter.
>>5714013 is your party level by yourself.
Below that, it's not even worth fighting.
>>57141He had difficulty with a level 7 as I recall
I need to kill things; I don't care what it is.
I'm thirsty for levels and treasure.
>>57145I'm going to train that thing.
>>57146I'd be disappointed otherwise
>>57149Its stuck to the inside of a jar, I don't know what more to say.
>frustrated mimic noises Alright. So Torcuil and Snek arrive at Krenshall,... there's really not much I can add to the antics they've shown so far. Do carry on.
Infernius on the other hand, carefully(?) approaches the dog he finds himself facing (hunting?). As he approaches, the dog wags its tail nervously, sniffing around, but doesn't run or attempt to flee. He gets closer and closer, with encouraging gestures and body language, and upon getting close enough he jumps to grab the dog.
Unfortunately, the dog disappears, and reappears a few feet away, wagging its tail much more vigorously.
Tracy and Trump get to the outskirts of Cardashil, the expansive and long lines ever-present. Those in the lines are as diverse, colorful, and over-the-top as you might expect from a group of talent seeking leeches. Did I say leeches? I meant bitches.
So license aside, Tracy has left the grove,yes?
>>57153Besides the Dome, what other structures are visible? Surely there must be more than the Thunder Dome?
>>57151>"You know, these gnomes are the perfect size for a snack""I'm not responding to that"
>"So you don't care if I do?""You know what? I've always wanted snakeskin boots."
>"Dully noted. Why did we come here again?""To find out more about the airship"
>>57156>"The snack that smiles back, gnome-fish""Alright, one more outburst from you and you're going into staff form."
>"Sorry mom""Anyway, time to look for some friendly gnomes that'll help"
Torc tries finding the help desk again
Maybe I should get back to work on that mace...
>>57161Reeeee-ing won't save you
>>57153I absolutely refuse to wait in line for even on minute this time.
>>57165*smothers affectionately*
>>57164Seriously though. Fuck lines.
>>57166[smooshed Paladin noises]
"uch... Tracy... You're too heavy"
>>57167https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQEVllmeWH4 >>57170"Just to keep you safe, dear. There's a lot of diversity lurking around here" Tracy says with not a even trace of sincerity
She likes sitting on him. A lot.
>>57174"For you..." Trumpaladin says as he pushes up the rump... then it falls back down on him
>>57152Infernius, I swear, you'd better catch that dog.
[1d20+20 = 36]>>57176He decides to attack her where she's vulnerable
Grab 'er by the pussy
>>57177"They tryin' hard to catch that herd but they ain't caught 'em yet!"
>>57178*Squirts all over him*
"F-Flashy? So sudden..! I like it sudden..."
>>57179"Gah!" Is covered in Tracy juice
>>57180[unintelligible girlish laughter]
[1d20+20 = 39]>>57182"Bad Horsey!" Attacks again
>>57181I won't spoil anything.
I just want it. I want it so hard.
>>57183*Soaks him*
"Awww.. am I a bad mare Flashy?"
>>57185*Soaking intensifies*
>>57184I figured that's cool enough to satisfy a 20, but I'm gonna make him work for it ^_^
>>57187"Awwwwww...."
*Lays down in mock-sadness*
>>57189*repositions self*
"There there, it's okay horsey"
>>57190"I'm a naughty mare, Flashy...
But you love me anyway, right?"
>>57192"I love you, Flashy, regardless of what you want to be..."
*Allows him*
>>57193"Are you sure of that, pony?"
*loves horsey physically*
[1d20 = 1]>>57188Rolling to develop Pokeballs.
>>57195*Lays head in horse fur*
"Then why did you get so upset over that whole Trollestia thing?"
>>57196Does this mean Trumpaladin can carry Tracy around in a pokeball?
>>57198"It's BECAUSE I love you that I got upset..."
>>57200Nice...
But what is with the political alignment grid in the background though?
>>57199"Well let me you feel my love"
*lets her feel it*
>>57205"Why you run away from me so much though?"
*loves all inside horsey*
>>57154*horse-butt blocks out the world*
>>57207There was no cake at the party.
Tracy can wear barding, right?
>>57214And I never got the confirmation: do ponies count as humanoids, monstrous humanoids, or magical beasts?
>>57215I think GM was leaning toward humanoid.
>>57216They don't really look humanoid though.
>>57217Right? I don’t know the official distinction between the types, but I would guess magical beast based on its name.
>>57218Magical beast makes more sense.
The typing also makes up for not having proper hands.
>>57219Just looked it up on the D&D wiki:
Magical beasts are similar to animals but can have Intelligence scores higher than 2. Magical beasts usually have supernatural or extraordinary abilities, but sometimes are merely bizarre in appearance or habits.
>>57220Magical beasts are also more dangerous in battle than animals by default: their base attack bonus is always equal to their total hit dice + class level (if any), while an animal's is only 3/4 that.
Another difference is that animals are always neutral: because they're neutral, they're also considered to be less dangerous, because they'll just run without any strong motivation to fight. I noticed that most creatures that have neutral alignment generally have lower CRs than you'd expect for their hit dice and abilities (although they usually have a higher level adjustment), which is probably why no animal is ranked above 10 CR, regardless of its hit dice.
Only magical beasts have Supernatural abilities, but most animals have extraordinary abilities or special attacks.