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Creative Title Referencing Nuts
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44896
44905
What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.

Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.

The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1398 replies and 124 files omitted.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45103
45104
>>45099
Kek

So, how does that barrage affect the tower?
1nDFl
?
No.45104
45105
[1d100 = 18]
Alright. Sorry Infernius can't make it, we'll just say he pulled something while sex.
>>45103
Well, here's the thing. That second shot was a 1, and the dice roll is to determine "how bad".
1nDFl
?
No.45105
[6d6+10 = 34]
>>45104
Okay, not so bad. The shell failed to fire properly. Only half of the shots hit the target though.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45106
45110
As the smoke from the initial fire dissipates, the flanking engines begin their initial assault. The Pyramid shows cracks and deformation along the barrage point, but appears to be holding together. Thez <whoooof> appears on the ship, alerted to the activity by the obvious cannon-fire.
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45107
45108
image.png
>>45102
Because you keep ACTIVELY TRYING TO FUCK THINGS UP

Stahp
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45108
45111
>>45107
>ACTIVELY TRYING TO FUCK THINGS UP
I only try to have fun.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45109
45111
"Well that was disappointing. Can we shoot it again?" Thez asks.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45110
45113 45115
>>45106
"Hey Thez! Would you mind opperating the cannons for a moment?"
Torc casts meteor swarm at the pyramid
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45111
45112
image.png
>>45108
>>45108
>fun at the expense of others
Uh huh

>>45109
"Duh"
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45112
45116
>>45111
>at the expense of others
Example?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45113
45114
>>45110
Just keep firing, m8. Don't use-up your spells.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45114
45117
>>45113
Eh, fine.
Torc fires again
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45115
45118 45274
>>45110
"Uhm,... okay,.... What do I do?"
>>45110
Meteor swarm - while a brutally effective spell on hoomans and other things, is not terribly effective against buildings. In fact, it is totally uneffective.
So, while 4 large glowing spheres streak off and collide with the pyramid, resulting in a huge fiery blast,... it appears to have had no effect.
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45116
45119
>>45112
Scaring off the level 7 cleric celestisl during the undead invasion and not waiting a day to do it later. Setting the supply of wood on fire.
1nDFl
?
No.45117
[14d20 = 164]
>>45114
That's what I was waiting for. Keep in mind, I did not plan this
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45118
45120
>>45115
>no effect
No effect? It means that the structure is being bombarded by spheres from 4 different angles now, only one of which actually will cause a breach. And how will they know which one, or that any of them caused a breach, until we are already upon them
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45119
45122
>>45116
That didn't cause any problems. She only left after the battle was over.
>Setting the supply of wood on fire.
Even if it hadn't been damp, a whole forest doesn't burn that easily. Wood supply was never threatened.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45120
>>45118
I think only the ships canons are able to damage it,. The trebuchets aren't doing anything.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45121
45123 45124
Okay. As the second volley fires, a number of things occur. First and most obvious, is remember that canon that misfired? BOOOM.
Secondly, especially with that 20 there, the second volley successfully rends a hole in the side of the pyramid.
I'm assuming that the assembled siege engines continue their fire, with archers taking position to cover the entrance.
Except on board the airship. The explosion of the second cannon knocks the airship from its position, and the cannons are now pointing the wrong way
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45122
45125
>>45119
The battle is going on right now

You intended it to burn the entire forest down, and you said so repeatedly. You were disappointed that it did not have that effect
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45123
45129
>>45121
"AH FUCK"
Torc jumps up and fights for control of the ship
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45124
>>45121
>cannons are the wrong direction
Eh, that's okay for the moment
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45125
45133
>>45122
>The battle is going on right now
We'll survive.
>You intended it to burn the entire forest down
>entire
Wrong.
She was only desecrating part of it. Merely making a mess.
>you were disappointed that it did not have that effect
No, I was bummed that Troll didn't show up.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45126
45127 45128 45129 45130 45132
varg.jpg
varg.png
vargouille2.jpg
allip_by_celurian-d7cfxi7.jpg
And it doesn't take long for a response either. Almost immediately, a series of blood-curdling shrieks can be heard emanating from the hole, and a sizeable group of creatures starts to issue from the hole. Some are weird reddish heads that have creepy bat wings and tentacles hanging from them, while others are shadowy forms that don't appear to have any discernable features other than being vaguely humanoid in shape. Both are airborn.
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45127
45134
>>45126
Mount pony, and charge!

Fae is to charge!

Archers are to fire!
T2++T
?
No.45128
45131 45134
[1d20+4 = 12]
>>45126
Fire a Screaming Bolt into the Cluster.
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45129
45131 45134
>>45123
Want to fireball these things?

>>45126
Order Slovenia to fire the trebuchet at the mass
Ze92i
?
No.45130
45131
[13d20 = 163]
>>45126
Eh, rolling for archers
T2++T
?
No.45131
45133 45134
[1d20+21 = 34]
>>45128
Well, that didn't hit anything, but it should spook them.
Tracy charges on Trump's command.
She lets out a fearsome roar (intimidate chech; demoralize), and looses her chain, ready to attack with it.
>>45129
>>45130
They're not shooting while we're charging, are they?
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45132
45134
>>45126
Fug, Torc casts Polar ray at the swarm.
Ranged Touch Attack: [1d20 = 9]

Damage: [17d6 = 63]

Ice ice baby
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45133
>>45125
>>45131
The archers are specifically trained to shoot enemies who are danger close to allies. The trebuchet... Well, hopefully it fires at the mass before we approach or it targets a different area
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45134
45136 45137
>>45127
>>45128
>>45129
>>45131
Okay first off, these are undead. They don't fear anything except holy shit. Nice try.
The Generals score several hits, but the distance slows many of the shots down enough that they are avoided.
What kind of munition is the Trebuchet firing? Is it stone or is it pitch (or something else?)
>>45132
Targeting a head or a shade?

Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45135
45138
Also, roll for initiative
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45136
45141
>>45134
Lets go for a head
[1d20 = 8]
Initiative
Ze92i
?
No.45137
45139 45140 45141
[1d20 = 20]
[1d20 = 11]
>>45134
The Generals have the far shot feat for range increments of 165 feet, they are firing from up high for a +1, master work bow makes +1 and weapon focus adds plus 1. I would assume the trebuchet would fire a number of stones like grape shot

Also rolling for Fae's initiative
T2++T
?
No.45138
45143 45146
250px-524Roggenrola.png
[1d20+6 = 16]
>>45135
rollin'
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45139
>>45137
N-nice roll
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45140
45141 45142 45145
>>45137
Do we apply are weapon modifiers to our rolls?
1nDFl
?
No.45141
45143
[1d20+2 = 16]
>>45136
Frozen, falls into the water with a splash.
>>45137
Well Trump goes first obviously
>>45140
No, only initiative modifiers (Improved Initiative feat, etc.).
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45142
>>45140
Well, when you are using a weapon.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45143
45144
>>45138
Kek, but why do you get a bonus?
>>45141
That works.
How pissed would you all be if you couldn't see these things, but they took some decent damge for 17 rounds?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45144
>>45143
This form has Improved Initiative.
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45145
>>45140
What spell do you want?
1nDFl
?
No.45146
45147 45148 45149
[2d20 = 28]
Okay, so amongst the party I'm seeing:
Trump
Thez
>>45138 +6?
Either Tracy or Fae, cuz I need sauce on that +6
The other one of Fae or Tracy
Torcuil

Rolling for heads and tails


Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45147
45153
>>45146
Heads and tails? Huh?
Ze92i
?
No.45148
45150
[1d20 = 1]
>>45146
Both FAE and Tracy have +6 modifiers. I didn't add that to Fae's roll, so Fae is above Tracy. Also, roll for Generals
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45149
45153
>>45146
>sauce on that +6
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Cauchemar_Nightmare
Anonymous
Ze92i
?
No.45150
>>45148
Aww

Well, Trumpaladin casts Bulls strength on self and Mount (Tracy)
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45152
45155
I really need to know if you guys would kill me for obscuring the hellish demon things
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45153
45154 45155
>>45147
For simplicity's sake. I could tell you exactly what they are, but that ruins the effect.
>>45149
I see the improved initiative, but that's only a +1