What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.
Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.
The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1348 replies and 124 files omitted.
>>46316Read magic will only enable the words to be comprehensible; it doesn't give any indication of what the purpose is.
>>46319It would give bonuses to detect magical objects, but only a rogue can detect
that an object is a trap if the trap is DC15+ (I think)
>>46322Death wrote her number on the star card, disabling the magic of it.
>>46320Torcuil had left at that point, it can't be considered a fair challenge
>>46321I thought you were a wizard for about four months. Anyways, you've never been policed for the number of spells you can know or cast, but I need more charisma to take epic leadership, great smiting (necessary for the Epic prestige class I want), or to have better leadership scores and saving throws
>>46322Nigger, you sit here and play Home shopping network all goddamn day and you steal shit for the sake of stealing shit. Let me claim a tome if it's of charisma or strength
>>46323We'll wait
>>46324Bull shit, the very next post after I claimed it was a post from him, and he was active before that
>>46323Thank you for the actual answer
Plus I have snek rogue.
>>46325>postsIf you look at time, you will notice I posted this morning. And I said I was going to sleep. Checkm8
>>46325My mistake, I had thought he left by that point.
Also, don't let me forget, King Doot had some magnificent half-plate, a cloak, a ring, and a brooch.
>>46322Fuckwit, did I say "read magic"? No. I said "read all languages" which is referring to the first level cleric spell "comprehend languages" which Fae can cast
>>46326It was posted last night and you posted after that. You just forgot that you saw it
>>46327I'm guessing we'll need to wait until later to find out what those things are?
>>46322Torc has 18 ranks in decipher script an diligent as a feat.
Diligent adds +2 to decipher script>>46327A ring?
Also see
>>46326 >>46329Identify as a spell takes 1 hour to cast. Analyze dweomer is instant, but is a 6th level spell
>>46331I guess we'll wait until later to figure out what we have then
Too late, I saw it. It was saucy, and there were trips.
>>46325M8, I didn't object at all when you took everything magical in Killy's hoard, or when you took Ruth's +5 bracers for yourself, because I knew right off the bat that you'd want them and that they'd be useful to your character; I didn't even make a claim for anything since then, because I didn't want to cause drama by taking things she didn't need out of the loot. This time,
I want something though.
All of Tracy's mental stats are pretty low as is.
>>46328I was mistaken.
>>46329They're probably standard Mummylord loot.
Give Torc that cloak, so he doesn't die on us again.
>>46332I say take it all back to the tower and ask Lenos. Then we can ask Kang Doot about the temple (we still don't know what it is or where it came from).
>>46336I ain't taking it yet.
For all I know it could kill me...
Again
>>46333>>46337Ah, good point...
muh stat-boost though.. T^TPermanent Ability drain is worse than death, although Infernius could cast Restoration.
>>46335I'm actually not suprised he deleted it
>>46336You took the orb from the Lichs, and ought to have taken the extra +4 bracers
You can enhance her wisdom just by taking the Periphat
>I want somethingAnd you want shadow armor and you want paladins mount armor and you want insnaty potions and you want pet t-rexes and you want talking attack rocs and you want random pieces of corpses and you want clothes and you want mummy rot and you want chests and you received God knows how many other things
A tome takes 48 hours to read across 6 days. But your character is perpetually busy crafting and feeding birds and feat training. Just use Enchantments
>Give Torcuil the cloak of resistanceMaybe not a bad idea
>>46335I just want it of it is strength or charisma, maybe constitution or wisdom
>>46339He may take it after he knows what it does though.
>>46341>not giving the guy who relys on charisma the charisma bonusWell okay then
>>46341It's not Str, but it might be Char. Only Artifacts grant Str
>>46342Why did you switch to Sorceror instead of Wizard? Wizard does moar stuff and geats moar spells, and you already get to cast whatever you want with memes without arcane prep.
>>46342We've never applied the rules to your character for spells, never.
Charisma is the key attribute for a paladin because it boosts saving throws, helps with lay of hands and smite evil, but most importantly I need a high score for several epic feats later. And I'm very far from that high score
You were wizard for like 4 months. That reallies on Int, which you have 2 points more of than charisma and you won't need to fight me for it. You can fight Tracy's faggot instead
>>46343There's a tome for strength I think
I think >>46343Wizards need components though. I don't want to have to rule-keep on that shit unless its pricey swag that counts as treasure later.
>>46344Yes, there's a tome for every stat. Gainful Exercise
>>46344>>46343GM switched me, not me. Cause sorcerers pull their spell out their ass. Wizards menorize then forget when they use it
>>46346I fucked up my grammar so bad
>>46346Can we just not rule cuck you then on charisma if you want to be a sorcerer?
>>46343If it's wisdom, let Trumpaladin read the tome and give the Periphat to Tracy, so Tracy gets +4 wisdom and 13 wisdom overall but still has time to feed her birds and train for feats
>>46346The reason is:
Wizards have to prepare their spells daily, which at the very least requires an hour for 1 spell or 8 hours for all of them. Further, they have to maintain the capacity to keep all their components on hand or within easy reach but
without them coming into contact (oh hey, wasn't there a robe that did that?).
>>46348Oh ffs it
is wisdom, +3. I got that off a natural roll on Thez' dice, back before the pyramid showed up.
>>46348>let Trump read itOr Torc. He does get +20 on decipher checks
>>46349That's useful information
>>46350It's wisdom though, which is good for Tracy or Trumpaladin, but not of use to Torcuil
>>46352Well I didn't that before my post
>>46349>throwing shade about the robeReally? You gonna still do that?
>>46353I should clarify I meant Torc could read it to Tracy
>>46353>>46349>This was the purpose of the robe>>46354If you're just going to be a dick to me for the purpose of being a dick, then I can do the same to you
>>46355Thats not what I meant, I'm just saying Torc has a better chance at deciphering it.
But by all means, go ahead
>>46348Tracy's neck slot is full (spiked collar with the Ring of Animal Friendship). She couldn't use the Periapt.
Where did the Periapt even come from anyway?
>>46359I assumes he means a Periapt of Wisdom.
>>46360>>46358And I'm an idiot and can't spell for shit even when the word is right in front of me,...
>>46358The Periapt was an item requested during the lead up to the mission to take back infernius
Is a ring of animal friendship really more useful than +4 wisdom? You can switch them out anyways.
She needs an engagement gift
>>46361That word is unspellable
>>46362The Periapt can be modified to attach to Tracy's collar.
>>46363>>46349Tell you what GM. Trumpaladin will cede the Tome to Tracy's Faggot, but lay tentative claim to the Robe with option to give to Infernius (maybe Torcuil?) after finding out what it is.
That way, Tracy's faggot can gain +3 wisdom, but lose out on +4 wisdom and an entire week that could have been dedicated to item crafting, animal rearing, or feat training, and Trumpaladin can keep the +4 Periapt
GM, Can I get a list of everything thats currently unclaimed?
>>46362>Is a ring of animal friendship really more usefulI thought it'd be the item most similar to her iconic /mlp/-collar, because Friendship is Magick.
Also, why do you want to increase his Wis so much? None of his spells have notable saving throws, and he's already got enough Wis to cast all of his spells. He can cast Owl's Wisdom when he needs a boost anyway.
>>46365Those goats would make ebin mounts, fyi.
>>46366Why goats though?
Could make a nice meal for Snek though
>>46366Then again, they're very limited in use.
>>46365You're gonna love the Goats. But so will Infernius and Tracy's faggot
>>46366The original reason I wanted it was specifically to give to Tracy. But I later realized that Paladins have damn near no spells. A level 17 paladin can only cast one level 4 spell a day. But a level 17 paladin can cast two level 4 spells a day. I hate having to debate with myself whether it's worth it to cast death ward now or keep until later, or chose between death ward and holy sword, and there really is no good reason Tracy should have had to roll a saving throw on a finger of death in the charge against RBG. Wisdom also helps with Sense Motive, which is one of the skills I actually use, although not by a massive margin
>>46367They're almost definitely Figurines of wonderous power:
>The Goat of Traveling: This statuette provides a speedy and enduring mount equal to that of a heavy horse in every way except appearance. The goat can travel for a maximum of one day each week—continuously or in any combination of periods totaling 24 hours. At this point, or when the command word is uttered, it returns to its statuette form for not less than one day before it can again be used.>The Goat of Travail: This statuette becomes an enormous creature, larger than a bull, with the statistics of a nightmare except for the addition of a pair of wicked horns of exceptional size (damage 1d8+4 for each horn). If it is charging to attack, it may only use its horns (but add 6 points of damage to each successful attack in that round). It can be called to life just once per month for up to 12 hours at a time.>The Goat of Terror: When called upon with the proper command word, this statuette becomes a destrier-like mount, with the statistics of a light warhorse. However, its rider can employ the goat’s horns as weapons (one horn as a +3 heavy lance, the other as a +5 longsword). When ridden in an attack against an opponent, the goat of terror radiates fear as the spell in a 30-foot radius (Will DC 16 partial). It can be used once every two weeks for up to 3 hours per use. >>46364Nice pali. Its a party decision, not a GM one.
>>46365No, cuz 1. I'm not sure who has/gets what since the party gave it to NPCs to transport it. 2. I don't know who has 'claim' on whatever yet. Here IS a list of everything, including King Doot's swag.
Papyrus Scroll
Potion
4 Goat Figurines (I know I said three, but I forgot one)
A Rod with a Shit-Ton of Buttons
A Thickly Bound Tome
Magnificent Half Plate
A Ring
A Cloak
A Brooch
>>46368True, but Infernius will love them anyways
A Nightmare is too OP to use as a general mount, and so naturally it's limited in use
>>46371No, we're keeping the cloak and the half plate in the dungeon
>>46372I just specified the coffins
>>46371I'll settle for the ring, a goat, and the scroll.
Maybe the rod...
>>46374Let's find out what the scroll and rod arm before divvying
>>46373Just the cloak and the half-plate?
>>46374Infernius made first bid on the rod, but idk
>>46373He can have as many goats as he wants if I can use that sexy rod. Tracy doesn't need a mount.
>>46376We can't use the Tome anytime soon at all, most of that shit will require lenos, and there is no way at all to carry coffins and so much gold
Fine, we take it back to the tower with
armed escort
>>46377So you know what the rod is
>rod is sexyTracy doesn't need a sex toy
>>46378He probably knows what it is. With an Intelligence check, Trump might realize that it bears a resemblance (though obviously different make) to the Rod that spews kittens n shit.
>>46379I do not know what the rod is
I don't like fighting over shit when I have no idea what most of it is. Let's wait until we know what we are fighting over, then we kill each other over it
>>46380So it's a monster summoning rod? Sounds like Tracy material
>>46382Very good point
>>46381I don't want anything but the rod and the tome, desu. Tracy's slots are full.
>>46381Ive already claimed the rod m8
>>46384That's a large portion of the take. The biggest portion
>>46385Fight Tracy over it
>>46383>monster summoningNot even close
>>46385There is unresolved contention of claims.
>>46384The rod is the only thing i want.
"Those goats are cute, but they don't have any gems on them. Yet." ^_^
>>46390>>46387The rod appears to be a lordy might rod, which gives a shit load of reasonably powerful weapons and a few other boosts
>>46384These are big items, so this will be remembered in the next set of loot. I want the next tome if charisma strength constitution or wisdom.
>>46391>>46391*stares*
"Gems will be liquidated to help with the next massive building project, whenever that's coming"
>>46390I guess you did ask for it first...
I know only one rod with buttons on it, a I
really wanted that one, but okay..
>>46393Let Thez have her jewelry.
>>46391"Gems?"
They are earth goats right? Or are they pastel colored goats?
>>46394Ill let you have my pick for the next loot we get.
>>46395Thez isn't using it as jewelry
I don't want to just conquer the planet. I want to
shape it. A highway will cost money, as will a brewery. The upcoming art gallery. A market. A stadium in Sparintenar. An entirely rebuilt Court City
>>46397There are actually very many items in the loot that might be good for Infernius
>>46391pls tell what robe, ring, and half plate armor are
*rushes back to tower and shows lenos*
>>46393"Tryyyy aaaaand stop-meeeee" she sing-songs back, smiling.
>>46398Dont forget my space aryan project.
>>46401Also this. Moonbase when?
>>46399Half-plate is probably a a +2 suit
>>46402Fool!
>>46406
No. I wanna see him explode.
>>46399"I dunno, but that armor is reeeeeally pretty and shiny, aesthetically speaking. The ring almost has a flame motif to it, with the gems and all and the shape of it. The robe,... I dunno." shrugs.
>>46402>>46406<whoooof>>stop her >>46404When torculi invents rocketry.
I have to defend muh waifu friend.
>>46382Just click "last 50 posts"
>>46410Give Torc a couple days
So, can Torc look at the scroll?
>>46409I press the buttons on the rod.
[1d20+1 = 15]>>46409Trumpaladin has now seen a robe of scintillating colors, a cloak of charisma, and a robe of infinite pockets. Roll for intelligence check
>>46410And I have to defend the future of the white race. That will require resources
>>46413Are you seriously thinking about saving our people?
>>46411Oh, right.
Someone gibs a good new bread meme about parties fighting over loot while I bake.....
>>46412,,, what happens next.
^_^
>>46414Saving is not enough. I want to make them
great again >>46415Tentatively laying claim to armor
>>46415Do skeletons pop out get on the floor and walk the dinosaur?
>>46416Your right we do need to fix the jewish marxist programming.
>>46408Not as good as the one you've got though.
Infernius should wear it.
>>46413Everyone gets a cut of the loot, m8. Thez only asked for the shiny things.
>>46415>pic >>46420But putting it on goats? Sell them and use the down payment for a brewery Durpistan when we colonize it
>>46419Definitely. There is so much that can be done
>>46420I don't know what the hell the armor is. I want to know first
>>46420No, she said she was going to make them shiny. I never emphasized this entirely, but Uatchit - which was an Ebony Fly - is now a Gold and gem-studded Ebony fly of exquisite appearance. She's just gonna do that to the goats, she's not claiming them.
"Shut up and bake faggot!"
>>46421>I want to know firstYou'd probably have to go back and ask Lenos then.
>>46425See
>>46399I'd be just fine if we all waited until the next set of loot to start fighting over the combined horde, but if we need to fight over it
now I want to know what we are fighting over