What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.
Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.
The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1398 replies and 127 files omitted.
How to you torture information out of a mummy?
Maybe we can rebuke him with slabs of bacon.
>>46273Holy water and Paladin's lay of hands
>BaconLol, I like that too
>>46266I
almost used meteor swarm, then decided that since I ha already used it that day I shouldn't because
some people might start bitching about using a very high level spell twice in a day.
>fire is good against mummiesI hadn't even considered it
>>46274Holy water would just kill him.
He'd be all "Allah hu Akbar" about it since he's probably a Cleric, so try the bacon to scare him shitless.
>>46275>>46266I'm not lying when I say I unironically believed the room might be filled with dynamite. They're Arabs after all.
>>46275Casting Meteor swarm inside an enclosed space would've killed us all regardless.
Actually, since he's only got a tiny bit of HD left, he could almost definitely be rebuked with bacon, if Tracy sets up her Darkskull next to him.
>>46276You're lucky Trump couldn't light the torch, I was 3 lines into the catastrophic explosion when I realized that requires two hands.
>>46277Arabs? Where'd you get that idea?
>>46271The city of durpistan already has infrastructure, arable land, and a mine. I want another place to house a civilian population, and Durpistan is a good choice. The bog and forest can be burned for the ranch land Tracy's faggot wants, but otherwise won't be used at all
>>46277Holy water is what we used on the Vampire in the Court City. It does acid damage, but it probably won't be enough to kill
But let's try the bacon
>>46278This
>sigh
He's a mummy. Mummies are We Wuz, not Allah Akbar.
>>46278I mean, that was a bit of a deciding factor too...
>>46277>dynamiteAloha snackbar
>>46282We wuz didnt do nuthin's and sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiittttttt
>>46283Good point.
We'll use a job application instead.
>>46286Nah, use a child and say it's theirs
>>46280I had no intention of lighting a torch to begin with, but Tracy's faggot, realizing he knocked his own character out, said "cast daylight!" "Cast daylight!" because he wanted his character to be awoken. So I figured fine, He'd light a torch. Because Daylight is a medium level spell and I didn't want to waste medium level spells when he'd need eagle's splendor and stuff later. When you said "he'd need two hands," I was thinking "goddamn it he can just hold the torch between his knees while he fiddles with a match or flint" But then I thought, "you know what, this asshole cripples my character then his? That bitch can stay unconscious and if we die because of his fuckery then so be it" so I said "yep, he can't light the torch and you are shit out of luck"
>>46286FUCK YES
That and a child support payment order
So, is the party set on taking the loot back and trying again later, or are they going to go deeper into the dungeon?
>>46289I think the later. It should be easy enough to move loot out though
>>46289The coffins account for 10 of the art pieces. Retaining them would necessitate a trip back outside.
>>46292Take them to the hole, and put them in boats an have 'em taken back to the tower by NPCs. It wouldn't take long at all
>>46288>>46286I can't remember how many ranks I had Tracy put into forgery, but that could work.
>>46290We have a prisoner, so he might be able to give info on the inner-workings of the temple.
>>46292Let's do that then.
This temple isn't going anywhere for at least two weeks.
>>46293I want to get some info out of Kang Tut, so we can get a hint of what else we might face.
Also, I want him to tell us where the treasure is.
>>46295Okay, I'm pretty sure this guy is a bit... older than most of the inhabitants of the Temple. He's like Frederick Douglas or something. I don't think he's in the loop
>ForgeryMy character can give him a real one
>TreasureWe just got it
>>46293Agreed. Just making sure it was specified, cuz dust explosions is just one of the tricks I have up my sleeves.
>>46296Either way, he's been animated for a long time. He has to know
something about his tomb.
>We just got itThat was only 1 room's worth of treasure, and we still have a whole dungeon to plunder.
>>46297>This spooky and ominus postUh uh! Fae, who can cast zeroth level cleric spells, uses detect magic on the coffins
>>46298I'm most concerned about organized groups of Lichs and similar leaders
>>46299The magic on them is residual, and to do with the mummies themselves.
I just mean to say, that there will be other opportunities for the party to
not exclusively blow themselves and their environments up wake up in the entertron further on.
[1d20+23 = 26]
Tracy makes a search check to detect Traps on the way back.
>>46300It wouldn't be a dungeon without traps.
>>46300>>46300Just making sure it's safe for display in the Trump Museum and Art Gallery in Port Barry Trumpaladin will be opening and Felicia will be curating...
In the late 1890's a rich, young Englishman visiting the archaeological digs near Luxor purchased the coffin and mummy of The Princess of Amen-Ra. He arranged for it to be shipped back to his home, but was not there to receive it. He disappeared, never to be found. One of his companions on the trip later died, another lost an arm in an accident and a third lost his fortune in a bank failure.
The coffin reached England and was purchased by a businessman. Three members of the businessman's household were injured in an auto accident and his house caught on fire. Convinced that the mummy was unlucky, the man donated it to the British Museum.
The staff at the museum reported hearing loud banging and crying noises coming from the coffin at night. Things were thrown around the exhibit room without explanation. Finally a watchman died. Then a photographer took a photo of the coffin. When he developed it, the image that appeared was so horrifying that the photographer killed himself.
The museum wanted to get rid of the unlucky mummy, but with it's reputation they could not even give it away. Finally, an American archaeologist, who didn't believe in the stories, purchased the mummy and coffin and had it sent back to the states on board the Titanic. >>46302Trumpaladin comes across a beautiful Mare, who seems to be held hostage
"hey there big guy"
Kek, aI found a meme for Torc.
>>46304I'm confused by what you're saying.
>>46303Nah, they're good. Pic related gives an idea of the big one's coffin (and why Tracy couldn't just throw them in her bag Xp)
By the way, why is there no such image as King Doot-ankhamun?
>>46306The mare has a penis
>>46308Hell yes that will make a nice addition. I hope Felicia likes it
>>46308How did we mistake these things for chests?
>>46309Cease your faggotry.
>>46310Because they were covered in like 6 inches of dust (think snow, but black). Besides, that one was at the back. The other ones aren't as ornate.
>>46311Um... what's the Tome of?
>>46313Ask Lenos.
Also, I want it, even if it's cursed.
>>46312I got the joke, don't worry
>>46313Its written in hibbity hooblah, and will require identification.
>>46314>wants things >>46314I WANT IT
You can have it if it's dexterity or intelligence
>>46315If only Trumpaladin had a mount who could cast a basic cleric spell that would allow her to read all languages
Also, does Knowledge (arcana) or Spellcraft give me a bonus for detecting magic traps?
>>46318I claimed it first. Dibs. You don't have much use for most scores anyways except intelligence
>>46319I think only a rogue can do that
>>46320Actually, Sorcerors use Cha, not Int.
Who knew?
>rogueRogues can't detect magic and shit
>>46316>read all languagesRead magick doesn't work that way.
I put a few Ranks into Decipher Script though.
>>46318Don't you still have that Star Card? Boost your stats with that.
>>46319No.
In fact, only Rogues can detect Traps above 20 DC.
>>46320>I claimed it first. Dibs.You've had first pick of everything since the party dragged back Killy's hoard, and nobody batted an eye.
>>46316Read magic will only enable the words to be comprehensible; it doesn't give any indication of what the purpose is.
>>46319It would give bonuses to detect magical objects, but only a rogue can detect
that an object is a trap if the trap is DC15+ (I think)
>>46322Death wrote her number on the star card, disabling the magic of it.
>>46320Torcuil had left at that point, it can't be considered a fair challenge