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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1336 replies and 132 files omitted.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44103
44104 44108
>>44099
Not yet
Thez produces Pickle-I'nis before he does something foolish like transforms back to normal inside her bracelet.

Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44104
44105 44106
>>44101
>>44101
>>44100
>>44103
Sorry i was gone so long i got my Truck stuck in 4 feet of mud and i couldn't get it unstuck untill 1 last night.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44105
44115
>>44104
Fucking RIP
Sorry to hear that
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44106
44115
>>44104
Holy shit.

Something similar happened to me in high school. I was going to take the girl I was dating to the fall dance........ Aaaaand I got my front wheel drive stuck in a wet ditch as I tried to pull out. Then her step-father tried to pull my vehicle out... And he got his truck stuck in the mud. It took like three hours before we finally got a neighbor to pull it out
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44108
44109
>>44103
"Thez thank you for keeping me safe. You most wonderful person me ever met."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44109
>>44108
"So wonderful"
Sarcastically
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44111
44114
>deleting my questions
What is it this time?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44112
44119
>>44110
Legendary wolf, for starters.

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44114
44116 44117 44121
>>44111
>>44113
First off, I'm pissed off about the indian giving on the belt and will be for a while. Second, I wanted a monopoly on the boots so I can trade them later. Thirdly, as per usual with homebrew items, the item is unbalanced with an obscenely low crafting time. It should be ~20,000gp with haste as a requirement
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44115
>>44105
>>44107
I was exhausted by the time we finished pulling it out.
>>44106
Damn, i hope the dance went better than the drive.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44116
44118
>>44114
I'm waiting for Infernius to stop being a pickle
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44117
44120
>>44114
>I wanted a monopoly on the boots so I can trade them later.
That's kike logic, and you know it.
>the item is unbalanced with an obscenely low crafting time
The prerequisite is hunting down and killing a Legendary Wolf, which is a mini-quest in itself.
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44118
>>44116
*boop is a minotaur again.*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44119
44120 44139
bearhunting.jpg
>>44112
Hmmmm... She'd have to find one first..
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44120
44123
>>44117
>Kike logic
No, it's good Capitalist logic

>The prerequisite is hunting down and killing a Legendary Wolf
Eh, I did not see that

>>44119
You'll find one at about the time I find my dragons
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44121
44122 44125
>>44114
I need the belt anon.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44122
44126 44132
>>44121
Yeah fuck you
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44123
44124 44128
>>44120
>Implying manipulating the free market through over-reaching use of granted authority is capitalistic logic
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44124
44128 44132
>>44123
And fuck you too
Anonymous
V3o0K
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No.44125
44127
>>44121
"Not necessarily. If Trump gibs the Ion stone, +2 (those don't stack anyway), you can still control the arms. And not get eated."
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44126
>>44122
I need it more than you do.if you don't have it will one of your items eat you?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44127
44132 44133
>>44125
And you
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44128
44135
>>44124
>>44123
He has a point, kikes are capitalist you know.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44130
44133 44135
>>44129
"Me need to take a shower."
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44132
>>44127
>>44124
>>44122
We are your party brad, you know you're friends.
Anonymous
V3o0K
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No.44133
44136
>>44130
Kek. U can fast forward through that if you want.
>>44127
Non-artifact magical benefits do not stack with each-other, sorry.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44134
>>44131
I know,i was making a point.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44135
44137
>>44130
"Thats fine"
>>44128
I SAW THAT
thats a violation the NAP, I think we all know how thats gonna end
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44136
>>44133
Since Infernuis has been blue balled for like 2 days. He has a fap while in the shower.
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44137
44138
>>44135
Not all capitalist are kikes. But the capitalist system has been corrupted by satanic kikes.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44138
44140 44141
>>44137
Fine...
This is wha Torc needs help with
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Stone_Horse
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44139
trace.jpg
>>44119
I did want a reason to explore the forest beyond that grove.
Tracy places a few mundane items in her bag, and leaves to explore the forest.
Not doing anything huge that'll get in the way of plot advancement, but still want to explore the map later when she gets the chance. Say she's scouting out the area around the grove, so she can explore it later.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44140
>>44138
Seems legit.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
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No.44141
44142
>>44138
Good idea.
I wonder if it could be shrunken into a figurine, like Infernius's Utachit, or an Obsidian Steed.
Anonymous
V3o0K
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No.44142
44143
>>44141
no spoilers Or the party could get around to exploring the temple, now that they have superior gnomish engineering.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44143
44144
>>44142
Will we be able to do that this weekend?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44144
44145 44146
>>44143
Certainly. Elements of it can begin anytime there's sufficient players on/available
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44145
>>44144
"Mooooooo."
*walks out of bathhaus*

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44146
44147
>>44144
I guess Tracy wait to go hunting/exploring then.
I'm stoked for a dungeon crawl this weekend.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44147
44148 44149
1513280929985.png
>>44146
>Tfw Ive been reduced to phone posting because my pc won't turn on.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
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No.44148
44152
>>44147
F
Anonymous
sQZjW
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No.44149
44151 44152
>>44147
>tfw I've been mobile posting for months, but can't afford to fix my desktop because I spent all my bitcoins on McNukes©™
JK, it's just jacked up too far to fix it so I need to run an ethernet cable to it. I'm just too lazy to do it
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
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No.44150
44153 44154
Did the main board get raided recently?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
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No.44151
44153
>>44149
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, Anon.
Anonymous
DOV7+
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No.44152
>>44149
>>44148
>tablet posting
Anonymous
sQZjW
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No.44153
44155 44156
>>44150
What do you mean?
>>44151
I'd have to move my desk and then drill a hole through a wall and I don't feel like doing it
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44154
44155
>>44150
When?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44155
>>44154
>>44153
Wondering why the captcha came on.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44156
1513197449851.png
>>44153
Live up to you're scottish heritage, Dont be lazy m8
>captcha
Anonymous
VoRsg
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No.44157
44158 44159 44160 44161
First off, how the actual fuck does infernius have a +21 Strength score starting???? Yes, I know there's a half-orc racial bonus, but where the hell does the +19 on the strength score come from? The highest scores anyone else has for anything are Trumpaladin's +16 charisma, Torcuil's +16 Intelligence, and Tracy's +16 dexterity, but Infernius even has a +16 on Charisma besides the obscene strength, as well as a very high constitution score, and a 14 wisdom.

With a +5 girdle of strength - those don't even exist in the 3.5 edition - he's able to round off an odd-numbered strength score, and stack that with a +12 - fucking +12! - epic item for a total strength of 38, or ability modifier of +14. Now I thought enchantment bonuses didn't stack? That's a figure that is almost three times as high as trumpaladin's even with a belt and with an ion stone stacked. If Trumapaladin only has a +2 ion stone, then Infernius's strength bonus is one fifth of Infernius's

A +14 strength bonus can be multiplied by 1.5 on a damage roll for +21 on damage per role. That's +63 across three attacks in a round, which combined with a statistical average of 5.5 from a 1d10 bastard sword is 78.5 if all three attacks land, plus fire damage is 1d3 on each hit for 83 total damage if all three attacks land. What I wanted for Trumpaladin, the equivalent of 20 strength - less than Infernius has without any enhancements at all - would place him at 52 damage if all four attacks landed. Equal to a cauchemar. And I'm playing as a heavy fighting class, not a magic casting class like Infernius. With no enchantments to Trumpaladin, he has 40 damage if all four attacks land. Less than half of Infernius's. Even if Fae is added in, it's still only 78.5, less than Infernius's. That's more than Trump and Tracy combined. And they have no ability to do the vast range of spells.

But that's not considering the change to attack rolls. Even though he's playing a magical class, and has also multiclassed into wilder, he has a higher Combined base attack than Trumpaladin, who does not have le ebin magic because he's a heavy fighter class. With a +12+7+2 base attack added to +14 strength that's +26+21+16 not even counting the magic sword bonus which I don't know the number of. Trumpaladin, even with Le ebin magic sword, and with the 20 strength I wanted and asked for, and with a heavy fighter class, can just barely equal that with +27+22+17+12 which again if all four attacks land would only deliver 52 damage with the strength I requested - which was denied - compared to Infernius's 83 or 78 without fire. But with only 14 or 20 strength, and because Infernius definitely has a magic sword, it's an even lower combined attack bonus.

>Enchantment bonuses don't stack
And Clerics are supposed to chose and prepare their spells at the beginning of the day. And players who are multi-classing are supposed to take experience penalties. And Sorcerers are supposed to have a set and limited set of spells to draw from, and a limited number of times they can teleport a day. And Thez apparently isn't supposed to airwalk anymore. AND PALADIN'S MOUNTS ARE SUPPOSED TO APPEAR IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO THE PALADIN THE TURN AFTER THEY ARE SUMMONED.

I did not ask for le ebin finger of death mask like Tracy's faggot nor did I receive le ebin arms, nor can my character teleport infinitely like Torcuil's. I asked for a small and I believe reasonable buff to a small number of statistics. I know I am not as likeable as Infernius whether in regards to either the character or to my general behavior. I know I cannot expect to be treated equally. I am not asking for equality. But why is the favoritism this gross and extreme?