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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 124 files omitted.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44792
44793
>>44791
"If need be yes. We will not hesitate."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44793
44794 44797
>>44791
>>44792
"What exactly are you existing for the sake of? Existing?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44794
44795 44797 44818
>>44793
*glares*
"The white race is master race, the only ones that can reach the stars."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44795
44796
>>44794
"Well that's a better answer. So then is your goal to reach the stars?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44796
44798
>>44795
"My goal is to conquer this land so my Daughter and wife will be safe, after that yes."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44797
44799 44800
>>44790
"In short-form, yes."
>>44793
"Sake of, I'm not sure I understand your meaning. There are things that are consequential that I owe it to myself to see to, and to which I will see. I can do no more."
>>44794
"I'm not 'white',...."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44798
44801 44807
>>44796
>Conquer this land
"Uh huh"

>yes
"Well, I've heard less satisfying answers, so I'll give you a pass"

>>44791
"You. What is your purpose here?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44799
44802
>>44797
"You are on inside, me can tell."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44800
44807
>>44797
"What, to you, is "consequential"? What is your purpose here? "Destroy that which threatens" what?
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44801
>>44798
"What that supposed to mean?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44802
44803
>>44799
"White on the inside is your standard now? I guess I respect cultural nationalism, I just thought it wasn't your's"
DOV7+
?
No.44803
44804 44805 44807
[1d20 = 8]
>>44802
Roll to punch brad sentry
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44804
44806
>>44803
"We're done here"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44805
44806
>>44803
>Didn't beat AC
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44806
>>44804
>>44805
"Yea we are."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44807
44808
>>44798
>>44800
She crosses her arms and stares intently at Trump. At interval she looks in various directions, but her visage maintains.
"T... this."
>>44803
Yeah that was weak
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44808
44809 44811
>>44807
"Then you better stop your husbando, because he's destroying it"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44809
44810 44811
>>44808
"YOU destroy it by being an obnoxious cunt."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44810
44812
>>44809
"If you want to be a racist, be consistent. And if you don't want to, that's just fine as well. But don't attack people when they point this out"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44811
>>44808
"Wut?"
Genuine confusion, and not just her. Oh wait,...
>>44809
"What now?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44812
44813
>>44810
"She my wife and me love her. You made me angry me reacted."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44813
44814
>>44812
"If you want to have friends then you need to calm the fuck down. Do you like to be attacked?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44814
44815
>>44813
"She honorary."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44815
44817 44818
>>44814
"But why the fuck do you attack me? Do you like being attacked?"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44817
44818 44819 44821
>>44815
"no. And me sorry for swinging. But you hurt Infernuis feelings. Me no that no reason to attack. Here's 3 grenades as apology."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44818
>>44794
"Uhm,"
Anyone remember Meridian 59? I'm suddenly inclined to go red-sky. I won't,... yet, but still
>>44815
>>44817
Awkward teardrop, nothing said
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44819
44820
>>44817
"You hurt my feelings though... But I accept your apology"

*goes in for hug*
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44820
44821
>>44819
*accepts*
"Me value brads friendship. Me really do want to conquerthis land though."
VoRsg
?
No.44821
44822 44851
>>44817
*sadly*
"You know I don't have your ebin arms or strength. Or your six gorrlion hp. My allies aren't that loyal, and even my sword won't side with me. It's not an even fight. So I'm vulnerable to you in a way I'm not to others..."

Looking away, and mutters silently
"I only have one set of dark powers to counter"

"So that's why it really hurts"

>>44820
"I... I value you too. Let's conquer this thing together"
\r
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44822
44823
>>44821
"Brad we need to go on quest to get you more powerful weapon."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44823
44824 44825 44851
>>44822
"Maybe... I'd kind of like a pet dragon as well. Well not a "pet," but an associate"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44824
44825 44826
>>44823
"Okay, but brad please don't put penis in it."
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44825
44826
>>44823
>sez the guy with a "dragonne" as an associate
>>44824
>delighted audience noises
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44826
44827
>>44825
>Dragonne associate
I have a theme I want to keep up

>>44824
"We'll see"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44827
44828
>>44826
"Um tracy REALLY wouldnt like that."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44828
44829
>>44827
"True. But I like to have options in case Tracy ever fails me"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44829
44830
>>44828
"Hmm well me guess that fair. As long as you don't do it before then you not degenerate."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44830
>>44829
"I won't I'm sure, though I really want to sometimes...

I don't think your waifu is really into the whole white-race-reaching-the-stars thing yet. Should we teach her sometime of the idea of collective glory?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44831
44832 44833 44836
>enraged Thez noises
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44832
44834
>>44831
At me or him?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44833
>>44831
"Are you repulsed by the idea of being a part of something greater than the self? Something that outlives the self? Of beauty, splendor, and awe? Of creating that sense of awe in others?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44834
44835
>>44832
Him. Mostly.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44835
>>44834
"Why do you not like me? Don't think I didn't notice that subtle knock at me when spoke of "prominent individuals" earlier. And don't think I haven't noticed that I've received the least equipment"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44836
44838
>>44831
"What wrong?"
wchUD
?
No.44837
[1d20 = 7]

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44838
44839 44840
>>44836
"I,... I don't know."

Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44839
>>44838
*Hugs*
"It okay ana."
VoRsg
?
No.44840
44841
[1d20+27 = 32]
>>44838
>I don't know
Oh yes you do! Rolling for sense motive
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44841
44842
>>44840
Oh she's DEFINITELY hiding shit.
"What does it matter anyway?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44842
44843
>>44841
"I want to know how I offended you in this instance, and why you don't like me generally"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44843
44844 44845 44846
>>44842
"Its not offense,... its,... hope." She says sheepishly. "I'd rather you,... not know,... why."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44844
>>44843
"I just don't like to be detested is all. It worst when you don't know the reason why. But even when you know exactly why... It's still not pleasant"
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44845
44846
>>44843
"Will you tell me?"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44846
44847
>>44843
"You're not detestable, don't over-do it," she mutters acknowledgingly.
>>44845
"Maybe. You caught the cliff notes of earlier, its more of the same."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44847
44848
>>44846
"Ana you know you can tell me anything"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44848
>>44847
"Yes,... but,... there are some things better left unsaid."
And with that, she >boops Infernius on the nose
passing out cuz 2:30+a
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44849
>>44666
>>44665
I think you two got it between you. Thanks
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44850
>>44751
>>>/test/
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44851
44859
>>44821
>>44823
*humps leg*
"I'm on your side, Flashy."
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44852
44854 44889 44893
What classes would the mane six be if they were in game?
I think:
>Twilight: Wizard
>Pinkie: Bard
>Rainbow Dash: fighter
>Fluttershy: druid
>Raity: Not sure.. I wanna say arcana archer, but she not elf
>Applejack: Cancer Mage
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44854
44855
>>44852
No, Dash would be a rogue
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44855
44858
1582637__safe_artist-colon-wandrevieira1994_commander hurricane_rainbow dash_angry_armor_bipedal_helmet_shield_spread wings_sword_weapon_wings.png
>>44854
Dash is all about being the best at everything: she'd go for those Fighter bonus feats.
Also, she's too bold and impatient to be a Rogue. It'd take all her willpower to resist making a sonic rainboom before a sneak attack.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44858
1228230__safe_artist-colon-pink1ejack_rainbow dash_dungeons and discords_absurd res_boots_clothes_crossover_dungeons and dragons_epaulettes_fantasy cla.png
>>44855
Then again, she could probably make for a pretty awesome Rogue too (I just remembered S6 e17). I feel like she'd prefer being on the front lines though, with all the glory.
All in all, Dash would make sure she's 20% cooler than everyone at everything.
VoRsg
?
No.44859
44861 44862
[2d20 = 3]
>>44773
>>44851
Grapple pony, pull vulnerable and exposed pony onto penis
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44860
44873
Hey, can Tracy pull a korak and make sneak attacks bye flinging kunai from under her robe?

Tracy makes sure all her edges are keened before the crawl.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44861
>>44859
Aww
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44862
44863
>>44859
Tracy gives him a hand and grapples herself, because those rolls sucked balls.
*lowers self onto penis*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44863
44866
>>44862
gives him a hoof*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44864
44865
>>44686
Wubs cute little pony on the belly, chest, and shoulders down to nipples
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44865
44866 44868
>>44864
You responded to Thez
VoRsg
?
No.44866
44867
[4d20 = 60]
>>44865
Lol, phone posting

>>44863
Wait a minute. Tracy's now in a position she can't respond properly to attacks. She looses her dexterity bonus to AC

FULL ROUND OF BELLY WUBS! Target vulnerable spots like her nipples for extra wubs
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44867
44870 44872
>>44866
>Tracy's now in a position she can't respond properly to attacks. She looses her dexterity bonus to AC
Tracy has Improved Uncanny Dodge. She retains her dexterity bonus when flat-footed, and cannot be flanked.
However, she does not resist.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44868
44869
>>44865
bounces pony
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44869
>>44868
*rises and falls*

Wtf is this stale bread still on the overboard?
VoRsg
?
No.44870
44873
[4d20 = 44]
>>44867
Wubs!

bounces!

sages
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44872
44873
>>44867
CRITICAL WUBS
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44873
44874
>>44860
A kunai/shuriken is a small object, so she'd get +4 bonus on Sleight of Hand checks to conceal them.
>>44872
>>44870
*turns to putty in his hands*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44874
44875
>>44873
*hugs adorable little pony, and humps until he finishes in her*

*rubs pony belly again afterwards
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44875
44876
>>44874
*pats navel and sighs, defeated*
VoRsg
?
No.44876
44877
>>44875
"Are you sad, little pony?"
\r
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44877
44878
>>44876
"~Hmmmm... why would I be, Flashy?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44878
44879
>>44877
*pets cute little pony*
"I don't know, but I love you Tracy"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44879
44880 44881
>>44878
*giggles*
"I love you too, Flashy."
*boops*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44880
44881
1512977829259.png
>>44879
Oh noes! He left him self open to a boop attack!

*Frantically tries to boop back*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44881
44882 44883
boop.png
>>44879
>>44880

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44882
44884
>>44881
Good morning.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44883
44884
image.png
>>44881
GM confirms that pony is booped
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44884
44886
>>44882
'Mornin
>>44883
I woke up, looked in thread, saw booping,... so booped
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44885
44890
fire_horse___nightmare___speed_photoshop_by_raquelbc-d7fyhzt.jpg
>tfw you take the time to study your character's abilities in combat and realize you can do a lot more cooler shit than you thought at better optimization
I just realized That Tracy hasn't been making any Trample attacks while mounted. With YUGE size-class and 31 Str, she can push-over and crush almost anything underhoof that doesn't opt to get out of her way, not to mention that extra Flaming hoof attack she'd get after knocking her opponent prone.
She's be better off to just charge and overrun low-level grunts when facing a large army, instead of slowly cleaving through them, so I'll do that from now on and let Trumpaladin do the sword-swinging.
If her rider had mounted combat, he could negate any virtually attack of opportunity made at her by enemies desperately trying to defend themselves (they can't avoid her because shoes gib Trample feat), since they get a -4 modifier on their Attack of Opportunity. Not to mention that she can lower their save DCs with Intimidate and Doom.
>Cauchemar: old French for "Spirit that Tramples"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44886
44887
>>44884
I'm hungry for some fresh bread, desu.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44887
44888
>>44886
Soon, and boop just in case
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44888
>>44887
/)
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44889
44890
285547__safe_artist-colon-cheshiresdesires_applejack_comic_monochrome_moustache_muscle wizard_offscreen character_parody_solo.png
>>44852
>tfw nobody responded to Cancer Mage joke, but want to post the pic anyway
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44890
44891 44892 44893
NMM wearing a Peytral.png
>>44885
I think you're overrating Mounted Combat. Mounted Combat is essentially an alternate way of calculating a mount's AC. Trachemar already has a very high +16 natural armor that comes with the Cauchemar template. If we assume Trumpaladin has 10 ranks in ride, and the shoes give 10, then he'd need to roll a 6 to even equal her AC, and a 7 to provide even a +1 benefit. You may as well armor her. There is no reason to charge into battle on a naked mount when armor is so sexy.

>>44889
I saw it. I was not pleased
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44891
44894
mlpol.jpg
>>44890
>You may as well armor her
I'd put some chain shirt or plate on her for cavalry charges. She'd also look sexy in a nice painted decorative mantle/cloak too though (pic semi-related). What design were you thinking of? She needs a cool helmet to go with it too.
>overrating mounted combat
I know she doesn't need the AC, but I was thinking more for attacks from spells that that would otherwise hinder her movements, because I hate having to slow down (or get fugged by a death spell or other lethal attack) while charging like a speeding bullet. It's not that important though, I was just drooling over her combat prowness.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44892
44894
3263765_24983829_7dragon.jpg
>>44890
Were you thinking of putting some armor or a mantle on Fae too? heard you mention mithril breastplate, but I think it'd really just cover-up her naturally-shiny brass scales. She'd look ebin with a partially-covered, white mantle though.

If Tracy got a decorative helm or armor though, it should leave some space around her mane for the flames to flow through, because that natural illumination is stylish asf.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44893
44894
>>44890
>I was not pleased
I thought it was funny...
I love muscle wizard jokes..
>>44852
But shitposting aside, II think AJ would be a Lawful Neutral Ranger.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44894
44895
1282250__safe_artist-colon-pencils_pinkie pie_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-fannie noveau_oc-colon-padlock_oc-colon-redstone_building_choker_church_cle (2).png
1282250__safe_artist-colon-pencils_pinkie pie_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-fannie noveau_oc-colon-padlock_oc-colon-redstone_building_choker_church_cle (3).png
>>44891
I've looked into this. The heaviest armor Trachemar could have that does not encumber her or slow her down, is Mythril breast plate - which is the heaviest medium armor, but is a light armor when made out of mythril. That would give her +5 AC before enchantments but at only -1 armor check penalty.

It's an incredibly sexy way to armor her too. Imagine something along the lines of Nightmare moon's armor, but with the neck armor being separate from the chanfron, there being a full set of plate covering her chest, and the whole set having the beautiful silvery polished-titanium look of mythril. Obviously I'd cover her in a beautiful Templar Knights caparison as well, but I don't know if you'd want that.

>Mounted combat against spells
How does this work?

>>44892
>Armoring Fae
Oh absolutely. Armoring Fae is where I first got the ideas from, but then I realized that there was no reason not to do the same to Tracy

>White mantle on Fae
I'd love to decorate her like the OC pony Priestess Padlock in pics related. Padlock is absolutely adorable in her religious zealotry and her desire to purge the heretics, even if her vow of celibacy is frustrating. I think of Fae as somewhat similar, although with a more "stuck up" attitude than Priest Padlock. To give Fae such a caparison, and especially if it were something functional like a robe of resistance, would be great

>Space in Chanfron to allow flames
Done. I could probably find more pics of what I had in mind

>>44893
>Lawful nuetral ranger
Yeah, I can see that
Anonymous
5CQOG
?
No.44895
>>44894
Yeah, that's the look. If she's a priestess, then white robes are the way to go.
>stuck up
I don't really see that. She just seems professional.
>Mythril breast plate
That stuff's expensive, m8. And time consuming.
It'd look ebin though.
>How does this work?
The feat description says "when your mount is hit in combat, you may attempt a Ride check (as a reaction) to negate the hit." It probably doesn't just backhand targeted spells (not sure what a "hit" means), but it should at least be able to negate touch-range attacks.
For Fighters, it's necessary, because non-paladins are fugged if their mounts get shot even once in battle.

The real benefit to it is that it's also a prereq for Mounted Archery, and all of the other riding feats. I just thought that Trumpaladin could train for it while he's training Fae or Tracy in the holodeck.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44897
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/44896.html