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nuts.png
Greedy Nuts
Anonymous
hlgVK
?
No.46427
46431 46437
This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.

Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.

There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.

The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.

Players should roll a d100
1073 replies and 140 files omitted.
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47625
47626 47628
>>47620
>snek
Pretty much.
For reference Snek could be anywhere from 250-600lb looking at sizes of irl constrictor snakes.
He's roughly 35 feet, right?
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47626
47637
>>47624
The remark was more to do with the fact that someone actually made an item out of it.
>>47625
>number crunching intensifies
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47627
47629 47632 47639
>>47623
>he gave Trumpaladin something of a personal quest, that involves unicorn jerky
.. Shit dude..
I didn't realize he'd made that a Quest..
Tracy is more than willing to help him with it though. She's a member of the church too, so it'd be proper for her to assist.
>finding a Gene Shalit tree and letting it lick Trumpaladin's butthole, pocket dimensions literally in your pocket, and going back in time to lady Tuesday to pray on top of a mountain.
Yeak.. I'm not sure he realizes just how powerful he is.. A Quest is Twelve Great Labors tier: it cannot be refused.
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47628
47631
>>47625
Correction
Assuming he's a python he could be 750 lbs.
I'll explain later
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47629
47633 47635
>>47623
>>47627
Brad sentry has to kill a unicorn
Infernuis was commanded to kill his baby.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47631
47634
>>47628
He's Yge size, so he'd weigh between 2 and 16 tons.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47632
>>47627
Like, it's just like Geas, only there's no cure.
If Gene Shalit ever shows up in a tree, you have to let him lick your butthole.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47633
>>47629
He was commanded to give his wife a shower: different phrasing
Just like Geas, it may depend on the phrasing.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47634
47636 47639
>>47623
I'll see what I can do to incorporate Gene Shalit. Pocket dimensions is easy. Going back in time,... I'll have to look into that too.
>>47631
K not that big
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47635
47639
>>47629
He could possibly possess your body too, if he wanted to.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47636
47638
>>47634
What about the Unicorn Jerky?
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47637
47652
achaierai_2.jpg
>>47626
>someone actually made an item out of it
I doubt that anyone has ever encountered these things without contemplating what they taste like.

Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47638
47640
>>47636
Well, I figured that's unfinished business, filed under the heading "Trollestia".
Anonymous
aqGop
?
No.47639
47644
>>47627
>unicorn jerky
This was in the same conversation I was asking about killing trollestia, so he asked "didn't you say before that you ate of the body of a deceased unicorn?" The quest seemed pretty simple except for a few components, and doesn't require any more murder than what is necessary to make unicorn jerky. I think Felicia's body still exists, although it's starting to rot now. Does Tracy know how to smoke jerky out of unicorns? Don't answer that...

>>47634
Oh I can repost the whole set of dialogue. It's rather hilarious

>>47635
Pls stop he might be reading this
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47640
47641
>>47638
Yeah.
Hey.. how severe is a Quest? It's just as intense as Geas, isn't it? Wouldn't Trumpaladin be driven to pursue the Quest until his body turns to dust, and take 3d6 points of damage each day he's prevented from pursuing it? That's kind of extreme, although I guess that's how gods roll...
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Lay_Quest_(Divine_Ability)
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47641
47642
>>47640
If Elway was displeased with Trump, yes he could/would take damage. If this was a "prove yourself" type quest, no.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47642
47645
>>47641
He should probably put that Magic Fang on Fae immediately then... Quest isn't the scariest Divine Power..
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47643
47647 47650 47651
Alright. Aboard the Sloppy Cunt, Infernius successfully transitions to the Ethereal plane, whereupon he finds statue-Thez still in a comical, almost-falling-over posture. His 20 caster check more than sufficient to remove the effects of the Wonder Rod, Thez reconstitutes as flesh, and falls over,... except this is the ethereal plane, where there's no gravity. She begins spinning awkwardly in the air before realizing that the scene has changed dramatically from "just a moment ago". Taking a low stance, as though expecting something else to pop out or happen, she asks, "I'nis,... what's going on?"
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47644
47645
>>47639
>I think Felicia's body still exists
After laying in the streets for a few days? I doubt it's still there.
I think he was referring to a different unicorn too.
0dklY
?
No.47645
47646
>>47642
>Fae needs Magic Fang
I'm kind of feeling that way too

>We're intending to get that dragon lion's mouth permanently blessed later
>Tell her she should have done that after her initiation
>She should really be bumped back a few grades, this is really sloppy work on her part tbh
>Well I mean battle blessing
To help kill people and shit

>again, should have been done before you set out at the very least
>but it's probably fine, hopefully she learns a thing or two from this experience

>>47644
It was dumped around the forest. In context it was referring to a hypothetical Trollestia kill
\r
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47646
47651
Milo Gaze.png
>>47645
Better to invest in that instead of something else then.
>referring to a hypothetical Trollestia kill
Then the appropriate interpretation of the Quest would be to hunt this unicorn ans present her rawhide to the shrine as a sacrifice. Once the Jersey is thrown on the statue, the Quest will be complete.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47647
47652
>>47643
"Good to see you're back, Thez."
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47650
47652
>>47643
"You got stoned."
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47651
47652 47655
>>47646
>>47646
>Trumpaladin sees those beautiful, graceful eyes over him in a dream
No, it requires praying on mount Arat for a week (helped by going back in time), and presenting Jerky to a Gene Shalit tree as well

>>47643
"Did you learn anything?"
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47652
47653 47654 47658
>>47637
Guilty
>>47647
"Thanks. Did I leave?"
>>47648
"I have a hard time believing that,"
>>47650
"Oh. Well. It must have been really good stuff then, I don't remember any of it."
>>47651
"Uhm,... no?"
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47653
>>47652
"Don't fall carrying weapons"
Anonymous
WbVf3
?
No.47654
47660
>>47652
"You used rod of wonder."
*grabs thez*
*casts plane shift*
I have to go meat space needs me.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47655
47656
>>47651
>No
>Implying you can refuse a Divine Quest
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47656
47657
>>47655
He only needs 7 ounces of unicorn jerky for the quest...
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47657
47659
>>47656
And a jersey.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47658
47660
>>47652
>Did I leave
"You were petrified for a few hours."
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47659
47663
>>47657
Oh the Jersey is just an option that was approved. There's no requirement of what to do with it. It could be a leather Denver Broncos jersey armor for Tracy with magical enchantments for all it matters
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47660
47661
>>47654
I'm assuming you mean "back to the Game plane"
>>47658
"Oh stoneded. Oh. Oh. Oh!" she says, the gravity of the situation dawning on her, before jumping into Infernius' arms and clutching him tightly. "T... thank you," she whispers, her nonchalance totally dispelled by the news.
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47661
47662 47665
>>47660
"Why'd you do that to yourself?"
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47662
>>47661
She tripped, remember.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47663
>>47659
Nah, it'd be better-off on the statue, as the token.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47664
GM, could characters use some limited Incantations occasionally? I mean the ones from the UA publications.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Publication:Unearthed_Arcana/Incantations#Discovering_Incantations
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47665
47667
>>47661
"It wasn't deliberate, I was just looking!" she hugs herself as though cold.
Anonymous
HAaXq
?
No.47666
47673
Praise Epona
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47667
47668 47669
>>47665
*eyes dart around*

*hugs Thez*

"You should be more careful"
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47668
>>47667
*humps leg*
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47669
47670 47672
>>47667
The gesture takes her by surprise, but she returns the hug firmly. "Count on it." As she steps back her hands drift protectively over her abdomen.
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47670
47672 47674
>>47669
Tracy mimics the motion, touching her abdomen as well.

...This prospect actually confuses me.
Does a fetus share connections to the same spells as its parent? Petrification,
Resurrection, curses.. etc?

*smacks self for insufferable metafaggotry*
Anonymous
0dklY
?
No.47672
>>47670
>>47669
I read that wrong
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47673
>>47666
Chekd
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47674
47677
>>47670
You know, the D&D books (I've read) have been noticeably silent wrt pregnancies and the consequences of. Petrification and death/resurrection are a given, but curses and such are worth consideration. Off the cuff I would say "yes", but it would depend on the curse/effect.
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47675
47676
>inb4 moldy
Yeah, I know, gimme a minute
Anonymous
i+WMZ
?
No.47676
47681
>>47675
I'm just using the last 50 posts, helps keep mold away
Mrs. Sentry
HAaXq
?
No.47677
47681
>>47674
Sounds like the making for some spooky spell-touched side affects...
Anonymous
bCuYB
?
No.47681
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/47678.html

>>47676
Usually that works for me, but not at the moment for some reason.
>>47677
Noted, will be considered.