This thread begins with Infernius pushing random buttons on an already random object of ridiculous power.
Welcome to the next page of the thread series that everyone knows about but no one mentions cuz autism.
Its a role-playing thread, welcoming involved/random shitposting in addition to participation.
There's plenty of material if you wanna get a glimpse, otherwise I'll get back to it.
The first effect that is discharged by the rod is a ridiculously compressed stream of air, blowing back everyone around Infernius.
The second effect is that Infernius himself becomes invisible.
The third effect is someone adjacent to infernius is hit by Flesh to Stone.
The fourth effect is that Enlarge Size is cast on the statue-character..
The fifth effect is the rod summons a mouse.
Players should roll a d100
923 replies and 102 files omitted.
I have a request I would like to make of all players.
When are we gonna make one of these?
>>47465Soon, I hope.
I wonder if the library has any golem manuals.
>>47467But what is your question?
I read that Reincarnation or Wish could be used to change a character's race. Is this accurate? I read it in context of a UA supplement when reading about racial paragons, when it was explaining how the UA was different from normal gameplay, so I'm not sure.
>All hypothetical, no ulterior motives
>>47469I'm not saying I'm now considering doing that.
BUT I WANNA FUCKING DO IT
>>47472Wish can technically do anything. And Reincarnate by definition transplants an ego into a new body.
>>47472>>47472Do you not enjoy being a filly?
>>47472>>47473Actually, I'm certain Wish would work.
In fact, Wish is the only spell that can reverse Reincarnate.
>>47469Reincarnation, yes. It randomly respawns the character in a new originating story, but with the same previous memories.
>>47473PREPARE FOR DE FEKKIN SCOTTISH UNICORN
>>47474I-Is Torc the filly? I thought
I was Filly
>>47477Fuck yeah I'll fuck the Scottish Unicorn
You are the filly. You
are the filly
>>47478TORC-ICORN (uni-Torc?) IS NOT FOR FUCKING LEWDS
>you are the fillyYAY I AM FILLY
>>47476What about Wish? Could it alter the bodies of living creatures, like a permanent Shapechange?
>>47476Druid is a strange class.
>>47479Trumpaladin recognizes that all unicorns are for lewds
>>47483It's a gay old time alright
>>47485I'm starting to feel like you're literally bisexual irl, Anon.
>>47486You'd think so, but no. It's just fun as fuck to chase after player characters
I mean, I like some mlp stallion on stallion, but that doesn't really count. Right? Right?>>47488"It's okay little pony"
*holds tail hairs close together*
>>47489>that spoiler...Really?"Wh-what are you doing with my tail, Flashy?!"
>>47488*puts pony's hind over knee*
"I'm going to see if I can help keep you from getting nearly killed like you did with the mummies"
*takes out a ring of protection secured from Nancy Pelosi (since Torcuil already has one) and starts to run tail hairs though it*
>>47492"I.. It's a bit tight.."
".. but it's fine, because it's from ~you.." *dreamy eyes*
Tail remains in air.
GM, have you been rolling our saving throws for fear affects off screen? Several of the enemies we've faced had high DC Frightful Presence, but nobody was ever effected.
>>47493*tries to run hundreds of horse hairs through a simple ring*
*finally gets it on*
*dock is kind of large, a bit too big in circumference to really fit well*
*Contemplates stopping*
*Pony is basically presenting herself to him, so it's excruciating*
*figures, "fuck it" and wraps pony hairs through the ring so its held in place on the end of her tail bone*
"There you go little pony"
*tries to force tailbone down*
>>47494She actually did.
\r
>>47495This is the first time you're calling me on being lazy with saving throws? We're what, 6 months in?
>>47494Depends on the definition of "killed". Thez and Torcuil also fit the bill.
>>47499I'm a faggot. Pls ignore.
>>47500I'm just saying, there've been PLENTY of saving throws I have deliberately/accidentally nerfed,... its probably a long list by now.
>>47501The collar is less lewd desu
>>47502>Less lewdI feel like what you're trying to say is that both should be used
>>47498Ring of Sequestering would be /bestring/ for her, but invisibility would be alright too since Sequestering is a bit expensive.>>47501Wedding ring on tail-dock because lewdness.
Animal Friendship on collar because /mlp/ reference.
Like the time those minions of Soros were supposed to have an aura of nauseum, or the time when (insert numerous opponents) should have cast "(insert nerf-spell)" for the umpteenth time,....
What? Its true,....
There's never a day that goes by that I don't stumble across "Hey, you forgot about this shit!"
>>47505>"A bit expensive">Costs 300,000 GP and requires 20 caster levels and an epic feat, costing twice as much as the ring with three Wishes in itI'll see what I can do for ponfu
I like the ring of protection on the dock though, since it would be of "protection" and would rest over top of her vagina (since it's further down the tail bone) but of course she never practices safe sex and is against it on principle
>>47506That's how I'm feeling
>>47505Good thing I've buffed up saving throws >>47507Trump turns into a newt. No saving throw. Don't worry, he'll get better by the morning.
>>47508REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
>>47509See look? He's back to normal. ^_^
Srsly tho, I have to re-re-re-evaluate now. I'm not complaining, but atm none of it makes sense.
>>47512Cuz there's anyone ITT who would fight off a cute poner, even
if she was >edgy >dark
*contemplates taking advantage of Flashnewt*
I totally didn't mean to attach that image, but apparently its too late so revel in the wolf-elf-girl-rapeage
Going to bed srsly,... plz keep it above the belt? ^_^
[1d20+17 = 37]>>47512>>47512Kek. He got better I think
>>47517Uh. Uh. Counter grapple?
>>47514It's a weird question, but do Drow bleed red? I see them painted with blue or purple blushes pretty often.
>>47521>Dat modifier.You don't have any of that while you're a freaking newt, but that natural 20 implies that you have somehow managed to overpower her.
I think I'll go to bed as well...
>>47523>>47523*Manuevers around horse's behind horses neck, grabs her by the collar, and puts her down on the ground*
"Good girl"
*Stays hidden in mane of pony*
*pets her sort of*
*eventually curls up and falls asleep on poner*
>modifierWell, it's his base attack bonus with no strength modifier. There should probably be a high negative size modifier though
I can't facetiously post shit, everything is taken literal Xp
>>47526It's more fun this way.
Pic entirely unrelated (I just like it)
So about that question with the Hecatoncheires..?
>>47531Like where the hell are you going to get god blood?
>>47534Kefka ain't a god and never was one. He was only referred to as a god in the metaphorical sense of having very strong powers. But he was human
Gods don't bleed, and they don't die when they roll a 4 on a fort save for an implosion spell
>>47535GM said that Kefka was literally a god.
He used Life Drain: a Divine Power, which would've meant he had at least 1 divine rank. Creatures with 1-5 ranks are considered to be demigods.
>He was humanDoe he
look human to you? He looks like an ebil demigod, if I ever saw one.
>gods don't bleedThen what's with that description with the Hecatoncheires? There must be some way to acquire bloodforged weapons, if that's one of two listed weapons that could harm them.
>>47535>they don't die when they roll a 4 on a fort save for an implosion spellA rank 1 demigod could plausibly be killed by that, especially if he were naive enough and had just been shot in the head moments earlier. It was said that he'd momentarily lost his spell resistance in that time.
>>47536I think you're misinterpreting GM
[YouTube] It's a metaphor, daddy
[Embed]We've seen several images, but most show what appears to be an underweight human male of European breed.
A demi-god ain't a god, and it's blood ain't good enough for whatever ebin haxx you want
>>47537I'd think a demigod would prepare for something as basic as rolling a fort save
>>47538>I'd think a demigod would prepare for something as basic as rolling a fort saveI think he was just really fucking vain and underestimated the party. He did't even use items.
>>47539The lack of items was definitely noticeable (
I would have worn an archmage's mantle), but I don't think his blood is going to give you anything cooler than what we could gain from first-degree murder home-invasion of the rooms in that temple
>>47538>most show what appears to be an underweight human male of European breedHe transformed partway through battle. Thez even made a glider out of two of his wings.
If you look at final fantasy, Kefka's theme is about a sorcerer who attained magick to attain virtual godhood. The basis of an Archmage is sacrificing the potential to learn new spells for even greater, inherent, magical powers. Kefka was so excelled in his class that he managed to become a god among mages: perfectly fitting the description of a demigod as listed in the books.
>>47541So are you wanting to use the virtual god's blood to virtually create a cool sword or to create a cool virtual sword?
>>47540The blood is bottled. I'll save it for later, for when (or if) she has the chance to make a legendary weapon out of it..
A blood-tempered blade for slaying abominations would be an ebin way to commemorate that fight. I want to forge an Æsahættr for slaying the most powerful monsters, if the need ever comes.
>>47542Virtually.
>>47542Or maybe a virtually cool sword?
>>47543Let's go kill a god first
>>47545$hillary isn't even close to a good. [i]Maybe some kind of Outsider, but not even an Abomination.
>>47546Hilary may be a puppet of even stronger eldrich forces. CNN. Facebook. The Democratic Party. Who knows
>>47548Pretty sure it's Soros.
She's ebil but she's not as high on the ladder as she thinks she is.
>>47549We may need to kill the Golden Lady. The embodiment of Feminism herself
>>47550Get to the point where you could move in her presence at all before you think of killing her..
>>47551I've been buffing up my will saves
It's almost like real deities aren't so easy to kill
I do talk about theomachia a bit, but that stuff is mostly for post-ebin level storywise. All those Abominations ans similar rank-0 deities were mainly made to give epic-level characters something more powerful than themselves to fight.
>>47552A Hecatoncheires is a rank
zero deity, and it's already 57 CR.
Some of these ebin monsters are spooky. An Atropal is like every abortion that ever happened coming back for revenge on the living. A Phaethon is a walking nuclear explosion (that moves at 120 ft). And Infernals eat Balors and Pit Fiends for breakfast.
>>47553Even the Non-abomination ebin monsters are scary. A gibbering orb is everything you'd expect from a Beholder with two-dozen eyes, only worse.
>can cast 2 dozen spells/rays at once>Noms mages to steal moar spells >>47553>All this cool shitThey would just look at Trumpaladin and say "how many dragons do you have? .5?" laugh, and he'd die of embarrassment
>>47554*screams in Lovecraft*
Hey, when the temple was blown open, did it have any shards? Glassteel shanks are worth taking.
>>47558Their favorite food is sorcerers.
By the way, yes the mummies were sufficient to cast permanency without penalty
>>47563Wait a minute
Does a weapon's magical enchantment bonus affect attack
and damage rolls?
>>47572It matters on the condition of the enchantment.
>>47573I mean a weapon's magical rating. The + number
>>47563Politely requesting that you be conservative with what is allowed
>>47576Well in canon, the highest lvl spell that can be cast on a creature is Telepathic bond, for 2,500 XP, so I guess lvl 5 and under is appropriate, within reason of course. The cost of Permanency appears to be 500 XP per spell lvl.
Most of the personal-range spells that can be made permanent are Divination spells, like Darkvision, Detect Magick, and Arcane sight: ultimately granting the subject sensory superpowers. Others cast on creatures appear to be mostly transmutations and abjurations, seemingly made for Wizards to buff their familiars.
>>47561Fug
>>47568Who wants to try it?
I also never got a damage range for using snek as a club
So, what did Thez do after Infernius freed her?
This was a really lazy recolor, but I feel like posting it anyway.
>mfw can't Sneak Attack undead
>>47583I'm not good at very much besides recolors.
What do you have in mind?
>>47585I'm not sure. Maybe a "looking up" image like this one of Fluttershy or cannon Tracy
>>47586Trumpaladin from a University IP
>>47587I'm surprised that there is no Tracy edition of Badumsquish's Kitties yet. Worthy pf a commission.
>>47583>>47588>BadumsquishI recolored this one on New Year's day, but I gave up halfway because it felt like Nicholas Cage was looking at me (also, I was tired/bored and didn't feel like altering the tail).
>>47577Animate Objects is a lvl 6 spell though. And Teleportation Circle is lvl 9..
>>47588I looked up Badumsquish. What I found was... interesting
>>47589Kek
>Implying Nicholas Cage watching you doesn't make it hotter >>47591>What I found was… interestingHe's quite the creative type...
>>47596Decent shitposting. Worth the read.
>>47568Covfefe seems terrible i wonder why tge president drinks it.
>>47598Among cursed items, it's actually pretty severe.
>>47600>ability lasts until dischargedI'll remember this when I have Tracy cook the rest of the Chikuns.
The partys outlines.like in pic 3
>>47260Trump's faggot. Did you consider asking Elwaymod for a Quest to get that Divine Emissary class? He's probably at least rank ten, so he could more than likely lay Quests on his followers. Even more so, since he's charm domain.
It might bite you in the ass though.
>>47615Actually, he can
definitely lay Quests on his followers.
It might be frightening if he finds that out though.
>>47539Vain, bordering on apathetic.
>>47572Of course, why wouldn't it?
>>47576Fine,.... e_e
>>47578Oh right,... that. You seriously asked me that didn't you. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you wanted to essentially swing the stick and
then turn him into Snek?
>>47579I'll be on that in JUST a minute.
>>47582>pic 3>Lenos>>47589He's looking
through you
>>47593>hypno-cage>>47598It explains some of his twitter rants tho
>>47600Seriously?
>>47615Elway is beyond rank
>>47619You'd be surprised
>>47617>>47615Well actually, that first time I communed with him he gave Trumpaladin something of a personal quest, albeit a small one, that involves unicorn jerky, finding a Gene Shalit tree and letting it lick Trumpaladin's butthole, pocket dimensions literally in your pocket, and going back in time to lady Tuesday to pray on top of a mountain. (And digging a very big hole, which is the hardest part). It didn't involve any hobomurdering, so I thought I'd save it.
I can always ask for more later
>>47619We got one admin who has any level of regularity. A couple of our pretty active mods lurk occasionally, but I think mostly they don't pay much attention
>>47620>snekPretty much.
For reference Snek could be anywhere from 250-600lb looking at sizes of irl constrictor snakes.
He's roughly 35 feet, right?
>>47624The remark was more to do with the fact that someone
actually made an item out of it.
>>47625>number crunching intensifies >>47623>he gave Trumpaladin something of a personal quest, that involves unicorn jerky.. Shit dude..
I didn't realize he'd made that a Quest..
Tracy is more than willing to help him with it though. She's a member of the church too, so it'd be proper for her to assist.
>finding a Gene Shalit tree and letting it lick Trumpaladin's butthole, pocket dimensions literally in your pocket, and going back in time to lady Tuesday to pray on top of a mountain.Yeak.. I'm not sure he realizes just how powerful he is.. A Quest is Twelve Great Labors tier: it
cannot be refused. >>47625Correction
Assuming he's a python he could be 750 lbs.
I'll explain later
>>47623>>47627Brad sentry has to kill a unicorn
Infernuis was commanded to kill his baby.
>>47628He's Yge size, so he'd weigh between 2 and 16 tons.
>>47627Like, it's just like Geas, only there's no cure.
If Gene Shalit ever shows up in a tree, you
have to let him lick your butthole.
>>47629He was commanded to give his wife a shower: different phrasing
Just like Geas, it may depend on the phrasing.
>>47623I'll see what I can do to incorporate Gene Shalit. Pocket dimensions is easy. Going back in time,... I'll have to look into that too.
>>47631K not that big
>>47629He could possibly possess your body too, if he wanted to.
>>47634What about the Unicorn Jerky?
>>47626>someone actually made an item out of itI doubt that anyone has ever encountered these things without contemplating what they taste like.
>>47636Well, I figured that's unfinished business, filed under the heading "Trollestia".
>>47627>unicorn jerkyThis was in the same conversation I was asking about killing trollestia, so he asked "didn't you say before that you ate of the body of a deceased unicorn?" The quest seemed pretty simple except for a few components, and doesn't require any more murder than what is necessary to make unicorn jerky. I think Felicia's body still exists, although it's starting to rot now. Does Tracy know how to smoke jerky out of unicorns? Don't answer that...
>>47634Oh I can repost the whole set of dialogue. It's rather hilarious
>>47635Pls stop he might be reading this
>>47638Yeah.
Hey.. how severe is a Quest? It's just as intense as Geas, isn't it?
Wouldn't Trumpaladin be driven to pursue the Quest until his body turns to dust, and take 3d6 points of damage each day he's prevented from pursuing it? That's kind of extreme, although I guess that's how gods roll...
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Lay_Quest_(Divine_Ability) >>47640If Elway was displeased with Trump, yes he could/would take damage. If this was a "prove yourself" type quest, no.
>>47641He should probably put that Magic Fang on Fae immediately then... Quest isn't the scariest Divine Power..
Alright. Aboard the Sloppy Cunt, Infernius successfully transitions to the Ethereal plane, whereupon he finds statue-Thez still in a comical, almost-falling-over posture. His 20 caster check more than sufficient to remove the effects of the Wonder Rod, Thez reconstitutes as flesh, and falls over,... except this is the ethereal plane, where there's no gravity. She begins spinning awkwardly in the air before realizing that the scene has changed dramatically from "just a moment ago". Taking a low stance, as though expecting something else to pop out or happen, she asks, "I'nis,... what's going on?"
>>47639>I think Felicia's body still existsAfter laying in the streets for a few days? I doubt it's still there.
I think he was referring to a different unicorn too.
>>47642>Fae needs Magic FangI'm kind of feeling that way too
>We're intending to get that dragon lion's mouth permanently blessed later>Tell her she should have done that after her initiation>She should really be bumped back a few grades, this is really sloppy work on her part tbh>Well I mean battle blessing
To help kill people and shit>again, should have been done before you set out at the very least>but it's probably fine, hopefully she learns a thing or two from this experience>>47644It was dumped around the forest. In context it was referring to a hypothetical Trollestia kill
\r
>>47645Better to invest in that instead of something else then.
>referring to a hypothetical Trollestia killThen the appropriate interpretation of the Quest would be to hunt this unicorn ans present her rawhide to the shrine as a sacrifice. Once the Jersey is thrown on the statue, the Quest will be complete.
>>47643"Good to see you're back, Thez."
>>47646>>47646>Trumpaladin sees those beautiful, graceful eyes over him in a dreamNo, it requires praying on mount Arat for a week (helped by going back in time), and presenting Jerky to a Gene Shalit tree as well
>>47643"Did you learn anything?"
>>47637Guilty
>>47647"Thanks. Did I leave?"
>>47648"I have a hard time believing that,"
>>47650"Oh. Well. It must have been really good stuff then, I don't remember any of it."
>>47651"Uhm,... no?"
>>47652"Don't fall carrying weapons"
>>47652"You used rod of wonder."
*grabs thez*
*casts plane shift*
I have to go meat space needs me.
>>47655He only needs 7 ounces of unicorn jerky for the quest...
>>47652>Did I leave"You were petrified for a few hours."
>>47657Oh the Jersey is just an option that was approved. There's no requirement of what to do with it. It could be a leather Denver Broncos jersey armor for Tracy with magical enchantments for all it matters
>>47654I'm assuming you mean "back to the Game plane"
>>47658"Oh
stoneded. Oh. Oh. Oh!" she says, the gravity of the situation dawning on her, before jumping into Infernius' arms and clutching him tightly. "T... thank you," she whispers, her nonchalance totally dispelled by the news.
>>47660"Why'd you do that to yourself?"
>>47659Nah, it'd be better-off on the statue, as the token.
GM, could characters use some limited Incantations occasionally? I mean the ones from the UA publications.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Publication:Unearthed_Arcana/Incantations#Discovering_Incantations>>47661"It wasn't deliberate, I was just looking!" she hugs herself as though cold.
>>47665*eyes dart around*
*hugs Thez*
"You should be more careful"
>>47667The gesture takes her by surprise, but she returns the hug firmly. "Count on it." As she steps back her hands drift protectively over her abdomen.
>>47669Tracy mimics the motion, touching her abdomen as well.
...This prospect actually confuses me.
Does a fetus share connections to the same spells as its parent? Petrification,
Resurrection, curses.. etc?*smacks self for insufferable metafaggotry* >>47670You know, the D&D books (I've read) have been noticeably silent wrt pregnancies and the consequences of. Petrification and death/resurrection are a given, but curses and such are worth consideration. Off the cuff I would say "yes", but it would depend on the curse/effect.
>inb4 moldy
Yeah, I know, gimme a minute
>>47675I'm just using the last 50 posts, helps keep mold away
>>47674Sounds like the making for some spooky spell-touched side affects...
https://mlpol.net/vx/res/47678.html>>47676Usually that works for me, but not at the moment for some reason.
>>47677Noted, will be considered.