>Mixed Nuts
To some, its a delightful role-playing venture based (loosely) on 3.5e D&D rules. To others especially a particular german poster,... love you btw its the worst thing to happen to Mlpol (which is saying something, cuz there's,....).
>What it do
On weekends we engage a dynamic storyline based largely on the GM's capacity to create and illustrate the situation. Sometimes he's a faggot tho.
>What about me?
New players and shitposters are always welcome. We have prohibited excessive >lewd, but it does still happen, and non-players can assume casual roles as available (at the moment the world is a desolate wasteland tho so not for a bit). If wanting to play, make a post about it in thread and there's plenty of anons who can steer anon in the right direction.
At the moment the party is starting to appreciate that - from their future-jumped perspective - the worst has already happened. All that is left is the denouement, but at the same time there's still a glimmer of hope. Deep within the ruined city of Durpistan, where Thez has made a last vestige of resistance against the forces of George Soros, the party contemplates their next move.
977 replies and 32 files omitted.
>>63747P looks like a series of shops, S is the synogogue actually, k is the keep, and I looks like an Inn.
[1d4+1 = 2]>>63746A>"I dunno, but something inside sounds big, and mad. Mom told me to stay outside tho."
Sorry, the HEY from before was a navi shitpostMeanwhile, both Thez and Tracy failed their saving throws and have been stunned for dice rounds by a spray of gold nuggets fired out in every direction by every nostril.
The windows of the synagogue shatter outward with the partial spray of gold nuggets. The oversized multinosed monstrocity reeeeees at the unrecoverable nuggets that escaped outside. It turns angrily toward Tracy, who it has had its ankle devastated by.
>>63750>>63751Uh... Would Trumpaladin (or Fae or Stix) have reason to notice any of this?
Or care [1d20+16 = 19]
From the top of the Keep, Fae does a spot check for activity
>>63752Well they didn't seem too bothered by the deafening roars, why would they care about the breaking glass? e_e
>>63753From the Keep's position lower on the hill, she can't see anything out of the ordinary. The keep is/was intended as a defensive structure for the base of the hill, not against the top where the synogogue is.
>>63754>>63754When was there a deafening roar?
>>63750>>63754*runs to the synagogue of Satan*
>>63756"Addy follow me but stay out sight"
>>63758Oh. I guess they fly to that then
Since Thez is there and she knows the security settings on the Tower... [1d20 = 13]>>63757A>"Okkay," she says, holding the darkwood staff, flitting from shadow to shadow
Adeline pulls up her hood, granting +10 bonus to hide in shadows, which are everywhere because of a darkness charm on the staff, following closely behind Infernius.
Trump, Stix, and Fae fly in from the recently cleared and searched keep. Meanwhile, Thez lost her footing and got hit by the gold nuggets, where Tracy only got hit by the nuggets and is still standing. The giga-jew adjusts its position and raises a foot over Tracy for a stomp.
No dex bonus, no dodge bonus, ac is -2 cuz stunned.
>>63761Are they in range for an arrow, a roar, a pounce, or a slash?
"Yippee aye-yay!"
>>63761>no dex bonus to ACTracy has improved uncanny dodge; can't she still evade?
>>63763Well, I guess Thez does too, so obviously not.
[2d20+12 = 30]>>63763As the monstrosity of jewness levels its foot above Tracy for a deterministic stomp a large shadow, almost a swirl of the darkest smoke given a semblance of form and purpose, darts out from the shadows and attacks the giant's stable foot.
I forgot to mention it should be taking 2 points of strength damage every time she flanks it because of Crippling Strike.
It should've lost ~6 points from those few hits.
[1d8 = 3]>>63767Good to know. It just lost more.
[1d20+22 = 40]
Disrupted by this new attack, the Gigajew foregoes its first attack and takes a step back. With its second attack, it swipes at the shadow.
[8d12+24 = 62]
[1d6+14 = 19]
Successfully, the shadow is torn into smaller pieces
[1d20+22 = 29]
With its last attack, the giant readies its other foot and stomps down on Thez.
The Gigajew screams triumphantly at the conclusion of its attack sequence, still standing on what moments ago was Thez.
[2d20 = 24]>>63772"You fucking bitch!" Tracy screams in response her eyes darting from the giant beast to Thez,
Because her faggot was too much of a drooling retard to do it earlier, she designates gigajew as her Dodge target, to gain +4 dodge bonus to AC. She takes a -5 penalty to her Attack rolls to gain +5 more AC with Combat Expertise. Gripping her defending dagger in her maw and focusing on her chain, she draws out their enhancement bonus to gain another +7 AC. And her new armor class is... a lot.
Now, thinking fast Tracy's mind flashes back to the moments she spent bullfighting with Infernius, she whirls her sparkling cape to gain total concealment until her next turn with Cloak Dance, as a move action.
With a whirl of colors, for a moment, it seems as though there are two Tracys, who both lash out with their chains.
With her chain in her claws and her mantle aflutter, Tracy uses her last standard action to make two attacks from concealment with her chain, both at her newly adjusted bonus of +15. She targets the leg she attacks earlier, stabbing into the arteries in hopes she damage the beast's leg to an extent that it won't be able to stomp anymore.
Take my cheap, slippery min-maxed attack style, you sniffling freak!
>>63773Where are you claiming all of these feats from? None of these were listed the last time you listed six
>>63774She got Cloak dance at the same time Infernius was learning Improved Bull Rush. I gave up Leadership for Combat Expertise.
>>63775You mentioned it like once in a couple days in between sessions. In actual SRD you only get feats every three levels or as class or race related bonuses. In GMs special things you need 40-50 hours in game time, and that's 40-50 hours that can't be spent killing things or traveling or tending to birds. You don't get a free feat every week of real life time that goes by.
>>63776That's not what I'm doing.
>>63774TBH, I do remember cloak dance. It was something that when presented I decided I wanted Thez to have it too (and would have had were I aware of it previously).
Like a Valkyrie riding a Pegasus, the Man with gleaming silver armor and dazzling strawberry blonde hair raises his sword high as he flies in, atop a gilded and shimmering lioness. Her outstreched and dragon like wings carry her a few inches over the broken stained glass windows of the ersatz church, her forward claws and fangs stretched and waiting to exact vengeance. Behind the man, a small pony peaks out a bow, string pulled back and arrow readied.
"Alright you European-style socialist sons a bitches! In the name of Elway and all that is holy, it is time to end your blight upon this land forever, and return you to the oblivion you belong!"
So where exactly did we leave off with Torc and Snek?
>>63782Weren't they examining the pyramid?
>>63783I was under the impression that I was being told not to, and I haven't done anything since he cast fireball
Then Torc is arriving outside the Synogogue at about the same time as Infernius and Addy by foot, and Trump, Stix, and Fae, by Fae, who wastes no time and flies in the very same window Thez entered from. Speaking of Thez, she's right outside the building, nearly collapsed from being stunned but still maintaining her footing. "Tracy,...." she stammers out.
>>63785"Huh, guess we're using the windows"
Torc climbs on Snek
who is hopefully under the effect of Fly, and they enter through the same window.
>>63785*rushes to thezs side*
"You ok ana?"
*puts himself in between her and the giga kike*
*takes stance*
"Burn."
>>63787The Gigajew is inside. "I'm just catching my breath. Watch out for his nose. Use some protection spell or something,"
>>63785How close is the window from Gigajew?
>>63789Not immediately, but the Gigajew is friggin huge if Stix wants to shoot it in an eye
Trumpaladin glimmers extra glimmingly as he casts (cast?) Eagles Splendor on himself and Fae
>>63788*protection from evil*
"Me ready to oven this kike*
*moves in to the building*
[3d20 = 23]>>63790Sounds like a plan
Stix speaks to the paladin
“What is this abomination?”
He quickly takes aim at the monster and uses Rapid Shot to get three shots in at 9/9/4
I think >>63793"I have no idea. But it is evil and unholy, and we are not getting out of here until it is gone"
>>63792The door is barred, but the windows are blasted open, including a rather large one.
>>63793The shots embed in the thick skin of the creature, but don't seem to affect it all. However, their presence has given it more to think about than squishing Tracy so that's a win I guess. Roll for initiative.
>>63796Infernius fails, and falls down on his butt. Thez regains her composure and <whooooof> re-enters the building. This precludes Thez from this round of initiative, but puts her in 1st place next round.
[2d20 = 29]
Initiative for Snek and Torc. Snek takes higher roll