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nuts3.jpg
Show Nuts #54
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.58626
58627 58644 59336
RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.

We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.

Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1561 replies and 112 files omitted.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.58999
FOR DEATH
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59000
AND AGAIN
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59001
59010
>>58997
Holy fucking shit mate.
This just got interesting
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59002
59032
>>58998
“Anything I can do to help you out then?”
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59003
Bridget moves a good distance away from the bots, before they explode.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59004
59008
>>58996
Fuck you too m8
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59005
Fae kicks off from the bot, nozzle severed and presumably about to enter self destruct sequence - disarmed regardless - and runs at full speed towards the next bot
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59006
59010 59012
>>58997
>sigh
Trump, oblivious to the fact that no one else is apparently armed, draws Vandereim and charges the nearest of Shazbots. Shazbot.
This immediately disperses the crowd in a frenzied panic, screams and cries issuing from every corner of the park as masses stream away and toward the gates. That Bitch is talking furiously into her ID, and the remaining Shazbots divide and close in on Trump and Infernius respectively. Now, am I interpreting it as Fae did the 20 pounce, and the rest is Trump breaking the bot's toys?
OuvwY
?
No.59007
59009 59011
[1d20+21 = 40]
While everyone's distracted, Bridget takes advantage of the chaos to swipe another card.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59008
>>59004
You started this
>Leaves to get more popcorn
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59009
>>59007
With ease
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59010
59016
>>59001
In the Napoleanic wars the armies of the Austrians and the Prussians were unambiguously stronger than the army of France... but there were three of them, each one of them smaller than the French force. Napolean double marched his men to engage first an Austrian army, annihilate it, then double marched them to the next army, destroyed it, and then the same to the third force. In WW1, the Russians invaded East Prussia with a force much larger than the German force - in two armies. The Germans attacked and destroyed one, then used the rail network to quickly move their army to attack the other russian army at Tannenburg.

These Shazbots are very difficult to defeat. But taken down one by one

>>59006
The 20 is Trump with sugoito, the other three are Fae
OuvwY
?
No.59011
59016
>>59007
She goes for another.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59012
59014 59016
>>59006
How fast are they? Fae is 180 in a charge and 360 in a run. You said they were dispersed along the perimeter. They must have started far apart
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59014
59015
>>59012
160 in a charge and 320 in a run, whatever
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59015
>>59014
Does Fae have Cleave?
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59016
59017 59018 59026
>>59010
Gotcha
>>59011
Kek, sure why not?
>>59012
^Sugoito
Pouncing eliminates Fae's movement speed, and though they're not in range, they're bee-lining toward. I assumed Fae attacked the closest one, which would have been near him as it had not detected him as a threat.
>>59013
Yes, except above

And yes, the one Fae attacked is beginning its self-destruct sequence.

Now then, roll for initiative u fags
OuvwY
?
No.59017
>>59016
Rolling initiative, I guess.


2OBux
?
No.59018
59020 59021 59023 59025
>>59016
She can go 160 feet in the same round she pounces, but sure
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59019
59022 59023 59024
"Okay, listen. If you stop until I get this cannon ordered, I'll help you get a gnome dinner."
Bluff [1d20 = 3]

>"I'll consider it"
Check motive [1d20 = 3]

2OBux
?
No.59020
59023
015_oh_come_on___by_speccysy-d4pcqpm.jpg
>>59018
Rolling for Fae
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59021
>>59018
F


Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59022
>>59019
Dubs
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59023
>>59018
>>59020
>>59019
My luck is spreading!
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59024
>>59019
>3&3
Well, uh...
Snek is pretty sure Torc is lying, but he's hoping Torc isn't.
Torc is wary that Snek knows he's lying, but he really need to get back to ordering this cannon
AzCrm
?
No.59025
>>59018
Yes, but upon pouncing her movement is halted
>many keks
These fuggin dice
Rolling for bots and That Bitch
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59026
59027 59030
>>59016
Can Trumpaladin have Aura of Protection? It's a class feature of the 5e Paladin
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59027
59028 59030
>>59026
I want that too. Or its ebil opposite.
says the faggot without even knowing what it is.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59028
>>59027
>>59027
Trust me. You' rather Trump have it
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59030
59031
>>59026
>can I have a previously unmentioned ability
Not in the middle of a fight
>>59027
A rock hits Tracy in the head. It must have gotten kicked up or something. It doesn't do damage, but it really hurts.

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59031
>>59030
"Ouch!" cries the leprechaun
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59032
59034 59035
>>59002
Thez looks Stix up and down appraisingly, again crossing her arms. "Hmmm. How does a pony use a bow exactly?"
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59033
59036
... was Infernius going to roll initiative?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59034
59038
1420679__safe_artist-colon-bbqninja501st_oc_oc-colon-gold medal_oc only_absurd res_apple_archery_bipedal_food_heterochromia_ice arrows_medal_pony_scare.jpeg
>>59032

Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59035
59038
>>59032
“Apparently, I don’t do it well. My father could though, but I suppose I didn’t pay enough attention to how he did it to actually hit anything.”
/s2+g
?
No.59036
59037 59038
>>59033
>inb4 one.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59037
59039
>>59036
Well.... It's not a 1
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59038
>>59034
A compelling argument.
>>59035
The cocks her head again, this time looking up in a random direction. She looks again in another direction before her face brightens. "I've got just the thing! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!" she yells.
"As far as helping, it really depends. I mean there's always stuff that can be done around here, and probably more still than I'm even aware of. Currently the party has made opponents of 1. An unidentified band of pirates, 2. The former/current emperor of this geographical area - who himself is batshit crazy and stupid OP - , and potentially many other groups who haven't so much as named or identified themselves. Oh, and we've also been pissing off/on the jews.
>>59036
XD
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59039
>>59037
Correct
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59040
59042 59044
Tracy uses her superior speed to dash far away to a safe distance where she can hide and observe, pretending to be screaming and panicking like a sane person would.
From her hiding spot she keeps an eye on That Bitch, who seems to be a figure of authority.

Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59041
59043
femaleakuma_edit1.png
"And," she whispers, "I'd bet my life that they're pissing off yet another faction as we speak."

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59042
59044
>>59040
She also picks up anything that may have been dropped by the crowd, especially cards, and places her two additional ID cards (not Gorplemonger's) in her bag of holding.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59043
59070
>>59041
“Any idea where they went off to then? Maybe I should help them out if they are into trouble.”
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59044
59046
>>59042
>>59040
The bots go next, right?
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59046
59049
>>59044
Yes. I hadn't considered Tracy as a combatant at this point, and she can interject herself if she desires, but is otherwise 'concealed' by the surging crowd who are increasingly grouping together by the gates,one by one jumping through to whatever their destination is, away from here. Some of them are holding up their IDs and talking at them in ridiculously dramatic displays.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59047
*urge to start looting like a nigger intensifies*
Tracy stays back at a very, very safe distance and observes.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59048
59050
Tracy reads the names of the other two identities she stole.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59049
59052 59053
>>59046
I guess Trumpaladin can talk as a free action out of sequence:

To the Lady:
"I came to see what was going on. I entered with my girlfriend, but then she ran off and left me and so now I do not have my ID. I was going to ask about a replacement with a representative but there were none. I mean no harm."
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59050
59058
>>59048
Otto von SchnitzelpuskraukengeBcheit Meyer
That German "B" that stans for a "sss" sound
and Frank
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59051
"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine"