RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1561 replies and 112 files omitted.
>>58997Holy fucking shit mate.
This just got interesting
>>58998“Anything I can do to help you out then?”
Bridget moves a good distance away from the bots, before they explode.
Fae kicks off from the bot, nozzle severed and presumably about to enter self destruct sequence - disarmed regardless - and runs at full speed towards the next bot
>>58997>sighTrump, oblivious to the fact that no one else is apparently armed, draws Vandereim and charges the nearest of Shazbots. Shazbot.
This immediately disperses the crowd in a frenzied panic, screams and cries issuing from every corner of the park as masses stream away and toward the gates. That Bitch is talking furiously into her ID, and the remaining Shazbots divide and close in on Trump and Infernius respectively. Now, am I interpreting it as Fae did the 20 pounce, and the rest is Trump breaking the bot's toys?
[1d20+21 = 40]
While everyone's distracted, Bridget takes advantage of the chaos to swipe another card.
>>59001In the Napoleanic wars the armies of the Austrians and the Prussians were unambiguously stronger than the army of France... but there were three of them, each one of them smaller than the French force. Napolean double marched his men to engage first an Austrian army, annihilate it, then double marched them to the next army, destroyed it, and then the same to the third force. In WW1, the Russians invaded East Prussia with a force much larger than the German force - in two armies. The Germans attacked and destroyed one, then used the rail network to quickly move their army to attack the other russian army at Tannenburg.
These Shazbots are very difficult to defeat. But taken down one by one
>>59006The 20 is Trump with sugoito, the other three are Fae
>>59006How fast are they? Fae is 180 in a charge and 360 in a run. You said they were dispersed along the perimeter. They must have started far apart
>>59012160 in a charge and 320 in a run, whatever
>>59010Gotcha
>>59011Kek, sure why not?
>>59012^Sugoito
Pouncing eliminates Fae's movement speed, and though they're not in range, they're bee-lining toward. I assumed Fae attacked the closest one, which would have been near him as it had not detected him as a threat.
>>59013Yes, except above
And yes, the one Fae attacked is beginning its self-destruct sequence.
Now then, roll for initiative u fags
>>59016Rolling initiative, I guess.
>>59016She can go 160 feet in the same round she pounces, but sure
"Okay, listen. If you stop until I get this cannon ordered, I'll help you get a gnome dinner."
Bluff [1d20 = 3]
>"I'll consider it"
Check motive [1d20 = 3]
>>59019>3&3Well, uh...
Snek is pretty sure Torc is lying, but he's hoping Torc isn't.
Torc is wary that Snek knows he's lying, but he really need to get back to ordering this cannon
>>59018Yes, but upon pouncing her movement is halted
>many keksThese fuggin dice
Rolling for bots and That Bitch
>>59016Can Trumpaladin have Aura of Protection? It's a class feature of the 5e Paladin
>>59026I want that too. Or its ebil opposite.
says the faggot without even knowing what it is. >>59026>can I have a previously unmentioned abilityNot in the middle of a fight
>>59027A rock hits Tracy in the head. It must have gotten kicked up or something. It doesn't do damage, but it really hurts.
>>59030"Ouch!" cries the leprechaun
>>59002Thez looks Stix up and down appraisingly, again crossing her arms. "Hmmm. How does a pony use a bow exactly?"
... was Infernius going to roll initiative?
>>59032“Apparently, I don’t do it well. My father could though, but I suppose I didn’t pay enough attention to how he did it to actually hit anything.”
>>59034A compelling argument.
>>59035The cocks her head again, this time looking up in a random direction. She looks again in another direction before her face brightens. "I've got just the thing! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!" she yells.
"As far as helping, it really depends. I mean there's always stuff that can be done around here, and probably more still than I'm even aware of. Currently the party has made opponents of 1. An unidentified band of pirates, 2. The former/current emperor of this geographical area - who himself is batshit crazy and stupid OP - , and potentially many other groups who haven't so much as named or identified themselves. Oh, and we've also been pissing off/on the jews.
>>59036XD
Tracy uses her superior speed to dash far away to a safe distance where she can hide and observe, pretending to be screaming and panicking like a sane person would.
From her hiding spot she keeps an eye on That Bitch, who seems to be a figure of authority.
"And," she whispers, "I'd bet my life that they're pissing off yet another faction as we speak."
>>59040She also picks up anything that may have been dropped by the crowd, especially cards, and places her two additional ID cards (not Gorplemonger's) in her bag of holding.
>>59041“Any idea where they went off to then? Maybe I should help them out if they are into trouble.”
>>59044Yes. I hadn't considered Tracy as a combatant at this point, and she can interject herself if she desires, but is otherwise 'concealed' by the surging crowd who are increasingly grouping together by the gates,one by one jumping through to whatever their destination is, away from here. Some of them are holding up their IDs and talking at them in ridiculously dramatic displays.
*urge to start looting like a nigger intensifies*
Tracy stays back at a very, very safe distance and observes.
Tracy reads the names of the other two identities she stole.
>>59046I guess Trumpaladin can talk as a free action out of sequence:
To the Lady:
"I came to see what was going on. I entered with my girlfriend, but then she ran off and left me and so now I do not have my ID. I was going to ask about a replacement with a representative but there were none. I mean no harm."
>>59048Otto von SchnitzelpuskraukengeBcheit Meyer
That German "B" that stans for a "sss" soundand Frank
"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine"