RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal
1561 replies and 104 files omitted.
>>58746
"Foosball..."
The Ostrich seems confused a bit, and runs towards the Mantis with a bit of haste, to catch him as he leaves, and briefly places a wing on the shoulder in a sort of "don't go" bodily expression. The Ostrich then says to the Mantis
"Foosball is a grey area in the scriptures, and has been hotly debated amongst Football theologians for several centuries. On the one hand, it has been argued that it is a derivative of soccer, which is false Football most foul. On the other hand, it has been argued that it is a fun table-top game that I used to be actually pretty good at in middle school.
All I can tell you is that the Prophet John Elway said the following, in his letters to the Galacticons at the summit of Mount Arararat:
'Yea, and truly I say unto you: In days of old, when knights were bold, and Football not invented, the Dallas Cowboys did descend from on high and attempt to bring forth football into the world, but did fail, for only the Denver Broncos could truly give birth to the Football that is Football. And Lo, Peyton Manning did appear unto them, and did kick a mighty field goal using a cantaloupe, for at the time there were no footballs because there was no Football, and the cantaloupe did explode, and did get runny sticky cantaloupe juice all over the faces of the Dallas Cowboys. And then Rainbow Dash did appear and lick the cantaloupe juice off of the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas Cowboys did masturbate. And Peyton Manning did masturbate. And then it was that on that very spot, 1000 years hence and 10,000 years earlier, the Lord Elway did burst forth into sapphire bullets of pure Football, and all the ponies of the land did see Football and did fall to their knees and worship Football, and render praise unto Football and the Lord Elway and His Broncos, and it was good. And the Denver Broncos did come upon them, and did distribute cantaloupes unto them, and they did kick field goals with they cantaloupes, and afterward did eat the cantaloupes, and the Lord Elway said unto them, 'Behold! This cantaloupe is my flesh and my blood, broken for you.' And then he did kick a totally sweet field goal with a different cantaloupe than the ones they were eating because they were eating those, and the cantaloupe did fly three times around the earth and did later fall into the hands of Gene Shalit, who would ingest the cantaloupe and discover that he had a penchant for licking people's buttholes. Do this forever, in remembrance of me.'
Take from that what you will."
"Foosball..."
The Ostrich seems confused a bit, and runs towards the Mantis with a bit of haste, to catch him as he leaves, and briefly places a wing on the shoulder in a sort of "don't go" bodily expression. The Ostrich then says to the Mantis
"Foosball is a grey area in the scriptures, and has been hotly debated amongst Football theologians for several centuries. On the one hand, it has been argued that it is a derivative of soccer, which is false Football most foul. On the other hand, it has been argued that it is a fun table-top game that I used to be actually pretty good at in middle school.
All I can tell you is that the Prophet John Elway said the following, in his letters to the Galacticons at the summit of Mount Arararat:
'Yea, and truly I say unto you: In days of old, when knights were bold, and Football not invented, the Dallas Cowboys did descend from on high and attempt to bring forth football into the world, but did fail, for only the Denver Broncos could truly give birth to the Football that is Football. And Lo, Peyton Manning did appear unto them, and did kick a mighty field goal using a cantaloupe, for at the time there were no footballs because there was no Football, and the cantaloupe did explode, and did get runny sticky cantaloupe juice all over the faces of the Dallas Cowboys. And then Rainbow Dash did appear and lick the cantaloupe juice off of the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas Cowboys did masturbate. And Peyton Manning did masturbate. And then it was that on that very spot, 1000 years hence and 10,000 years earlier, the Lord Elway did burst forth into sapphire bullets of pure Football, and all the ponies of the land did see Football and did fall to their knees and worship Football, and render praise unto Football and the Lord Elway and His Broncos, and it was good. And the Denver Broncos did come upon them, and did distribute cantaloupes unto them, and they did kick field goals with they cantaloupes, and afterward did eat the cantaloupes, and the Lord Elway said unto them, 'Behold! This cantaloupe is my flesh and my blood, broken for you.' And then he did kick a totally sweet field goal with a different cantaloupe than the ones they were eating because they were eating those, and the cantaloupe did fly three times around the earth and did later fall into the hands of Gene Shalit, who would ingest the cantaloupe and discover that he had a penchant for licking people's buttholes. Do this forever, in remembrance of me.'
Take from that what you will."
File (): 3DB8CEA80A4A93F3962A4505D03833D8-226061.jpg (220.8 KB, 1000x1282, The-Praying-Mantis-Nun-in-Church-126006.jpg)
>>58747
"I beg your pardon , sir, but we verminkind have been playing foosball since before you vertebrates even walked the Earth. It is the pillar of order and discipline in our society: I would not be an insect if I allowed my faith to wane. I bid you farewell, stranger."
>cantaloupe
"..Lowest of the fruits..." he mutters inaudibly as he scuttles off
"I beg your pardon , sir, but we verminkind have been playing foosball since before you vertebrates even walked the Earth. It is the pillar of order and discipline in our society: I would not be an insect if I allowed my faith to wane. I bid you farewell, stranger."
>cantaloupe
"..Lowest of the fruits..." he mutters inaudibly as he scuttles off
File (): 280DC2D02E1502A696B2B034724BD3AC-36235.jpg (35.4 KB, 484x497, 1505070885773-1.jpg)
*changes into wojack*
File (): 809A39FAA7A0A261E2084DA545235A04-16654.png (16.3 KB, 410x308, Oekaki.png)
File (): 141D15D2CE5760CD26391766644B1209-32441.jpg (31.7 KB, 400x400, 1505070839740-2.jpg)
>>58765
I think he could dodge that, but he's still thoroughly rustled by the sudden sketties blast.
"Rough day, I take?"
I think he could dodge that, but he's still thoroughly rustled by the sudden sketties blast.
"Rough day, I take?"
File (): E4E1435DE3DBA7A2F507E3358C64D248-20357.jpg (19.9 KB, 400x510, 1423299504481.jpg.cf.jpg)
File (): EE60CAEFF48615568CB77741A0FA167B-157935.jpg (154.2 KB, 850x638, Praying-Mantis-Closeup.jpg)
File (): 04455D3FC4B9521A062504DBCE4FB3AB-104045.gif (101.6 KB, 400x477, 13f.gif.cf.gif)
File (): D588B8EF46AFE6D9AA6F68387B01665F-134963.png (131.8 KB, 720x776, sketch-1517486733966.png)
>>58790
"Better, but you should work up to the stomach, as its easy to over-sensitize. In fact, the female is easily over-sensitized, if not finessed. If you're going to start with heavy breathing, aim for the back of the neck or the ears. Hold off on the stomach until just before,... stuff," she says with a wink.
"Better, but you should work up to the stomach, as its easy to over-sensitize. In fact, the female is easily over-sensitized, if not finessed. If you're going to start with heavy breathing, aim for the back of the neck or the ears. Hold off on the stomach until just before,... stuff," she says with a wink.
>>58791
"Well me dunno what you expect, me only was ever around Aryanne. Then me was exiled to mountains."
*caresses thighs*
"Well me dunno what you expect, me only was ever around Aryanne. Then me was exiled to mountains."
*caresses thighs*
>>58792
"I don't expect anything, but I hope you'll pardon my,... aspirations," she says, blushing a bit.
"I don't expect anything, but I hope you'll pardon my,... aspirations," she says, blushing a bit.
>fell asleep
>weird dream about camping... indoors?
>woke up now
What do?
Stix begins his journey back to the tower. He had seen weird things since coming here, but never would he guess he would be talking to a squirrel one minute, then holding onto a big acorn the next with no answers or clues as to what is happening around here. He wonders if this is just a really convincing dream.
>weird dream about camping... indoors?
>woke up now
What do?
Stix begins his journey back to the tower. He had seen weird things since coming here, but never would he guess he would be talking to a squirrel one minute, then holding onto a big acorn the next with no answers or clues as to what is happening around here. He wonders if this is just a really convincing dream.
File (): 105E29D2B1F72A4A5CAC20AFA3D3ECF7-731640.jpg (714.5 KB, 1024x2117, 1519771044355.jpg)
>>58793
"Well me try to be better."
*massages neck*
*caresses cheek*
*blows on ears*
"Me know me said this before,but me am so glad me met you ana."
"Well me try to be better."
*massages neck*
*caresses cheek*
*blows on ears*
"Me know me said this before,but me am so glad me met you ana."
>>58794
As Stix approaches Port Barry, he senses that something is amiss. For one, there are varying trails of smoke leading from some of the higher buildings. Additionally, there's a malevolently black-robed individual hovering above the town, throwing pumpkin-sized purple gobs of fire at the walls. Just another day at Port Barry,....
As Stix approaches Port Barry, he senses that something is amiss. For one, there are varying trails of smoke leading from some of the higher buildings. Additionally, there's a malevolently black-robed individual hovering above the town, throwing pumpkin-sized purple gobs of fire at the walls. Just another day at Port Barry,....
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