RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
Thez should've come along.
It would've been more interesting to come home to a Hell Brigade anyway.
>>58630Or something with stab-able organs.
>>58631Tracy will have plenty to stab here in a minute. I held back on Cardishore 'cuz I hadn't had time to figure out exactly what was happening in city when the party arrived (though a most obscure method I might add), but I'm ready to go with both cinematics, storyline, envirnonment, etc.
I'm probably not going to map most of Cardishore cuz its a massive city and there's going to be a lot of rapid-fire zones that will get vaguely mentioned and then ignored thereafter, but Its about to get hairy (and for once, its not entirely the party's fault).
>>58632Okay. I'm hype.
I've been meaning to get Tracy back into this city for months now.
>"I'm starved"
"We can grab some food after we get the cannon order placed"
>"Why go somewhere when there are four perfect sized meals in front of me?"
"This again?"
>"I'm not leaving until I eat a gnome"
>>58633>inb4 thread breaks bump limit before friday evening>>58634kek
>>58634>IntelligenceIt occurs to Torcuil that all he'd really need to do is cause an explosion to occur in an area formerly occupied by Snek's lunch,... probably best of they're alone.
Tracy looks around the city and wonders how many of these fancy houses she'll have time to loot.
>>58637Okay, I won't lie; I have no idea what you are meaning by this statement.
>>58639I think it sounds like he'd let you get away with murder, because it'd be funny.
[1d20+24 = 25]
*walks away while the ostrich and bull are fighting to continue searching the city in stealth*
Rolling to Hide
>>58635The hype is real.
No divegrass this weekend.
>>58626"Poor thez."
>>58643>tfw no swastika
>>58644Shouldn't have told her to stay, imo..
>>58645We needed someone powerful and competent to lead the men while we are gone.
>>58646Maybe I'm just being selfish, because I half-hoped to come back and find that the port was destroyed by a giant monster again...
>lead the menThey're canon-fodder, m8. No use putting them at risk.
>>58647Reeeeee my men arent cannon fodder.
>>58648The followers you get from the Leadership feat aren't exactly useful for combat. Only a handful will even be 5th level.
>>58649That may be, but my men still aren't cannon fodder, they are respected soldiers.
>>58649For the Six Gorrilionth time, you aren't the only one to receive Haxx
>>58651>only oneWhat do you mean?
Tracy has Leadership too. She just hasn't organized her soccer team yet.
>>58652So, what level can our followers be then?
>>58652>soccer team(USER EARNED FLAG WITH THIS POST)
>>58653If it's at least 4th level, I'd like to train some young ones as fellow Blackguards.
>>58654No U
Tracy can have followers too.
I need to if I'm going to own this BG role.
>>58657Why do you need to own the BG role and the thief role and the assassin role and so on and so on? Pick something
>>58655I wanna see the flag
>>58659Our state needs a flag.
>>58662
Yea the isp niggers unplugged me even though the bill was payed.
>Deleting gets because you don't like them
Now that is [i]true heresy.
>>58672>>58670>>58669>>58666Not again...
>>58673It's kind of funny though
I can see why Ninjas has so much fun doing this in Rabbit
>>58682Someone fucking shoot me, STOP IT CHILDREN
>>58658Why can't I be a Blackguard-thief? A sneaky shadow knight? Besides, thieves/assassins can be leaders too; they can be organized and teach others their techniques.
Just because I rolled lower stats shouldn't mean I have to play a secondary character.
The field would be kind of pointless without players, wouldn't it?
>>58686>>58688Relax it just bants
>>58689I'll relax when my opinions remain intact.
I'll take this all the way to the main board if I have to. I loathe censorship.
>>58690>Take this all the way to the main boardBoy have we got a surprise for you
>>58692Come on the Discord and see
>>58693I can't access the discord on this computer.
>>58694Find one that can.
>>58695I would if I could.
My resources are slim at the moment.
>>58696So, how are we today?
>>58697I've been better..
>>58698Sorry to hear that.
>>58700Yep. Sorry, the others are distracting me with discord
>"GIVE ME GNOME STEAK OR GIVE ME DEATH
"Neither?"
>"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>58701What're y'all talking about?
>>58703Shitposting and other fun stuff. You would get a REAL kick out of the topic. But we can’t say it here.
Learn to handle the Bantz, Tracy's faggot
>>58708Censorship isn't a joke. Moderation privileges should not be used at one's own discretion.
>>58709>implying a random post is censorshipIt's bantz. Learn to handle it
>>58709Agreed. Though you got to admit. You sometimes start these kind of squabbles
>>58710I don't think you understand.
>>58712I don't think you do
>>58710>a random post is censorshipI'm talking cumulative.
>>58714What is being censored?
>>58715Having one's post edited or deleted.
>>58716What idea is being censored?
>>58717Think of every post of mine you've ever deleted, for example.
I have some work to do; signing off for the next hour or so.
>>58665You turn around to see a giant praying mantis, dressed up in a black vest and fancy church blouse.
"Dinosaur? Oh, I do think I passed one earlier." he says, tipping his hat politely and adjusting his monocle with his long claw
>>58720>giant bug>various Starship troopers references
>>58720"Oh me thought....., how are you doing today?"
>>58722"Very well, and yourself?"
>>58723"Me miss my wife."
>>58724"Ah, you're a family man I see." The giant insect says, with an accent that sounds kind of British like, but is really just indiscernible insect-speech.
>>58725"Yea we have baby on the way."
>>58726"You're a lucky man." The green creature says
"A family is something to be cherished.."
>>58727"You have family bugman?"
>>58727Is this censorship to you?
>>58684Hey now, I mostly only do it in discord
>>58731Get on the discord
>>58732>has cancer nowThanks Xp
>>58728"Ah.. No.. Mantis society is different from that of mammals, you see: our females eat our drones' heads during mating."
>>58653So, what level is that?
>>58735Got access to discord right now?
GM, can Tracy spend a level like Torc did so that she can cast Paladin of Tyranny/Slaughter spells as listed in Unearthed Arcana (Blindness/Deathness, Bestow Curse, Curse Water, Unholy Sword etc), as Blackguard spells?
>>58738Alright. But try to get to it asap. There is something going on there I think you would like.
You guys are going to wait until I leave and then start spamming the thread again aren't you?
>>58734"Well then, I'm off to church." The enormous vermin says as he scuttles away at alarming speed.
>>58744"Would you like to hear about Elway?"
>>58745"Is that the name of your Lord? I beg your pardon, fine sir, but foosball is the only game for a monstrous insect such as myself. I have a sermon to attend in only a few minutes, and I wouldn't want to be late. Blessings to you though, fine stranger." He says, making a characteristic praying gesture and politely tipping his hat before scuttling off into the city
>>58746"Foosball..."
The Ostrich seems confused a bit, and runs towards the Mantis with a bit of haste, to catch him as he leaves, and briefly places a wing on the shoulder in a sort of "don't go" bodily expression. The Ostrich then says to the Mantis
"Foosball is a grey area in the scriptures, and has been hotly debated amongst Football theologians for several centuries. On the one hand, it has been argued that it is a derivative of soccer, which is false Football most foul. On the other hand, it has been argued that it is a fun table-top game that I used to be actually pretty good at in middle school.
All I can tell you is that the Prophet John Elway said the following, in his letters to the Galacticons at the summit of Mount Arararat:
'Yea, and truly I say unto you: In days of old, when knights were bold, and Football not invented, the Dallas Cowboys did descend from on high and attempt to bring forth football into the world, but did fail, for only the Denver Broncos could truly give birth to the Football that is Football. And Lo, Peyton Manning did appear unto them, and did kick a mighty field goal using a cantaloupe, for at the time there were no footballs because there was no Football, and the cantaloupe did explode, and did get runny sticky cantaloupe juice all over the faces of the Dallas Cowboys. And then Rainbow Dash did appear and lick the cantaloupe juice off of the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas Cowboys did masturbate. And Peyton Manning did masturbate. And then it was that on that very spot, 1000 years hence and 10,000 years earlier, the Lord Elway did burst forth into sapphire bullets of pure Football, and all the ponies of the land did see Football and did fall to their knees and worship Football, and render praise unto Football and the Lord Elway and His Broncos, and it was good. And the Denver Broncos did come upon them, and did distribute cantaloupes unto them, and they did kick field goals with they cantaloupes, and afterward did eat the cantaloupes, and the Lord Elway said unto them, 'Behold! This cantaloupe is my flesh and my blood, broken for you.' And then he did kick a totally sweet field goal with a different cantaloupe than the ones they were eating because they were eating those, and the cantaloupe did fly three times around the earth and did later fall into the hands of Gene Shalit, who would ingest the cantaloupe and discover that he had a penchant for licking people's buttholes. Do this forever, in remembrance of me.'
Take from that what you will."
>>58747"I beg your pardon , sir, but we verminkind have been playing foosball since before you vertebrates even walked the Earth. It is the pillar of order and discipline in our society: I would not be an insect if I allowed my faith to wane. I bid you farewell, stranger."
>cantaloupe"..Lowest of the fruits..." he mutters inaudibly as he scuttles off
The mantis continues to travel deeper into the city in stealth.
>>58749GM is out. post on the main board
Y'all ready to play this weekend?
>>58753I think you need another hobby. Why not make oekaki art like you used to? Or something
*scuttles through the city in stealth, moving towards the commotion*
>>58761*you see wojack*
"H-hello"
>>58762reeeeeee muh stealth!
"H-hello.." Th insect says nervously.
>>58764*spaghetti blasts from his pockets towards you*
>>58765I think he could dodge that, but he's still thoroughly rustled by the sudden sketties blast.
"Rough day, I take?"
>>58766"Yea my boss,stabed my wife's son"
>>58767"Why would he stab his own son like that?"
>>58768"Because he found out about his daughter."
>>58769"What about his daughter?"
>>58771>>58770"She's my asain sex slave."
>>58772"I'm sure your wife is thrilled"
>>58772The insect slowly backs away for a few steps, then bolts in the opposite direction.
>>58773"My boss killed my wife."
*spins*
>>58783I hate working nights, everyone's always offline when I get off even when its a weekend ~_~
>>58784*pinches thez's ass*
>>58786"Pinching the ass? Pedestrian! Caress the back of the knees you fool!"
>>58787*gentlty blows on kneecaps*
>>58788>says back of the knees>goes for the front"Rly? Boi, u need to learn ur erogenous zones."
>>58789*tickles stomach furiously*
>>58790"Better, but you should work up to the stomach, as its easy to over-sensitize. In fact, the female is easily over-sensitized, if not finessed. If you're going to start with heavy breathing, aim for the back of the neck or the ears. Hold off on the stomach until just before,... stuff," she says with a wink.
>>58791"Well me dunno what you expect, me only was ever around Aryanne. Then me was exiled to mountains."
*caresses thighs*
>>58792"I don't
expect anything, but I hope you'll pardon my,... aspirations," she says, blushing a bit.
>fell asleep
>weird dream about camping... indoors?
>woke up now
What do?
Stix begins his journey back to the tower. He had seen weird things since coming here, but never would he guess he would be talking to a squirrel one minute, then holding onto a big acorn the next with no answers or clues as to what is happening around here. He wonders if this is just a really convincing dream.
>>58793"Well me try to be better."
*massages neck*
*caresses cheek*
*blows on ears*
"Me know me said this before,but me am so glad me met you ana."
>>58794As Stix approaches Port Barry, he senses that something is amiss. For one, there are varying trails of smoke leading from some of the higher buildings. Additionally, there's a malevolently black-robed individual hovering above the town, throwing pumpkin-sized purple gobs of fire at the walls. Just another day at Port Barry,....
>>58796“This can only go so well for me”
Stix try’s to stealth past the individual, hoping to avoid more encounters with fire for the time being.
>>58796REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>58797The individual is not barring the gate, they're more raining fire down upon the port.
>>58795>pic
>>58799How to get my grounded character with a bow that is difficult to use correctly to stop an attack by a flying cloaked figure... hmm...
Stix makes his way around the port to see if he can get a better view on who is attacking, and a better angle of attack.
>>58801The figure is not guarding their flank at all, they seem intent on terrorizing the available populace. Many of the existing martial factions (the Gestapo, the Generals, etc., which Stix isn't familiar with, but suffice it as a couple groups of coordinated hoomans) have taken up positions along the wall and are attempting to expand the threatened area of the target.
>>58802Time to see if this bow is useful or not..,
Stix whips out his bow and digs one end iron the ground to stabilize it. He readies an arrow.
“Just don’t miss and you won’t have to deal with much... I hope”
He pulls back on the string with his teeth. He steadies his aim for a moment and releases...
>>58803This is why earth ponies don’t have bows...
>>58804If I can stop forgetting to clear the email... that would be nice too... ugh I hate my forgetfulness
>>58805Your almost as unlucky as me.
>>58806I’m guessing everyone but us went to bed now.
>>58807Yea.
Hey we should make a 9/11 thread.
>>58784Sorry, m8.
I would've stayed up later, but I thought you went to bed.
I'm ready to play today though.
>>58800I will, I was just setting things up so I wouldn't forget
>>58803Kek, don't worry, I've got something in mind
>>588089/11 thread?
>>58810No worries, I got caught up in videos and passed out
>>58813>is only disguised as a mantis>still scuttles
>>58815She's taking the disguise very seriously.
>>588159/11 "conspiracy" thread.
K
Are there any shops in the city?
>>58818Yes, but Tracy hasn't encountered them yet. The area she is scuttling through is still technically the "outside" area of the city.
The thing is, while the city has a degree of artistry to much of its design, much of the city is not designed to be traveled or wandered through, its more of the aesthetics of a stone garden,... except concrete. Long story short, with very few exceptions (and all will be explained) most areas area not intended for ppls.
>>58819"Can we get a quick rundown?"
^Yea what he said.
>>58819What can Trumpaladin see from his vantage flying?
>>58819Tracy dashes through the city, abandoning stealth to scuttle at her full speed.
She eyes the gaudy aesthetics and wonders to herself what she could find in a cushy neighborhood like this one.
She gravitates towards the source of commotion she saw earlier.
>>58821From Trump's vantage point, he sees much more of the same that Tracy can see, except at a certain point he notices the city transition into something of a square and a park area, where there seem to be hundreds of people meandering around and interacting with one another. He's too far off to see what they're doing, but it is undoubtably the source of the ambient noise of ppl.
>>58823>scuttle scuttle>>58820Who said?
>>58825Tracy scuttles uber-fast towards the noise.
>>58825Well, sounds like it would be a good idea to slowly come down onto a street before the park, and proceed on Fae's back towards the people
>>58803Meanwhile,
<zing> Stix' arrow goes wide right of the target, but not before alerting the target to a new source of arrows. It turns and looks at him for a moment, cocks its head, shrugs, and then dashes toward one of the troop positions along the wall who are attempting to flank. Stray arrows buzz past the intruder every so often, but it is clear that there is enough range that the projectiles are easily avoided."Let's see how you fare up close and personal!" they taunt as they close position against the troops.
>"You know, you could let me wander off and find a meal..."
"No"
>"Why?"
"Because you can't have good relations with a race you let your friend eat"
>>58830*mumbles about torc not waiting for Infernuis*
>>58831I thought he was in Cardishore?
>>58829“My father always told me I was a disappointing shot”
He rushes toward the troops as well in hopes to aid their battle.
>>58832Which is the result of Torc not waiting for him
*looks for things worth stealing*
You can sunder a spell-book or holy symbol, right?
>>58833Stix bolts toward the stairwell that leads to the troops' position. As he speeds toward, he can hear the sounds of a few hoomans being beaten.
>>58835>shocked.png>>58836Correct
>>58836As in, you can incapacitate a wizard or cleric that way?
>>58838Yes. Wizards depend on their spellbooks, and clerics rely on their holy symbols. Bards and Sorcerers (and arguably in some cases, Paladins) r the only base classes that can operate without a class-specific tool.
>>58839You still need a holy symbol to turn/rebuke undead, right?
>>58837He winces at the sound, but draws his dagger and pushes forward.
“What is this thing’s problem? Did he lose his life’s savings in a bet here?”
>>58839Trumpaladin approaches the people to see what they are doing
Tracy is still scuttling towards the sound at full speed.
>>58839If my holy symbol is broken,can i carve it into my body and get the same effects?
>>58834You're the one who decided to stay at the banquet
>>58843>>58844As Tracy and Trump approach from separate positions - the former scaling a small wall separating the civic area, and Trump from a more obvious position - the attention of the crowd seems to shift to a stage-area setup in the park. There seems to be a public address going on, and those in attendance are fixated on the source, which is a Raven-haired woman in a vibrant outfit.
"Welcome, newest entrants and talented performers, to Cardishore!" to which the crowd erupts in cheers and applause.
>>58847Tracy lurks closer, in stealth.
>>58847Can i hear the noise?
>>58847Trumpaladin enters the crowd. He watches and listens to the Raven haired woman
>>58841Rounding a corner and proceeding through a doorway, Stix makes visual contact with the intruder. Around them several of the troops are down or incapacitated, while a trio are attempting a coordinated defense.
"You should have held your fire! You might have had a chance in that event!" they arrogantly shout as they wade in taking several attacks of opportunity. Stix has not been detected.
>>58847>>58850Dismounting and standing immediately next to Fae so he isn't
as obvious
>>58839I thought Druids and Rangers were the only classes that could cast divine spells without a divine focus.
>>58851Stix attempts to sneak up behind the intruder for a strike.
>>58854Doesn’t surprise me at this point... 9,8, then 7...
>>58845I would consider it, but you'll need to do more than
just carve it,... I mean there would need to be some sort of sanctification ritual involved for that to work,... but that fits into one of the plot devices that I was going to work in.
>>58853Oh yeah, I forgot about them.
>>58849Yes
>>58848>>58852Drawing slight glances, but no particular scrutiny, both make their way into the assembly to hear the address.
"Before we kick off this year's Extravaganza, there are a few points that I need to go over. First," she says, retrieving an elaborate and fine card-pendant from her neck, "NEVER GO ANYWHERE without your identification. We have had a string of intruders lately, and so we've amped up security. This here," she says, walking to the edge of the stage where several of those weird robots are positioned, "is our security detail. If you are found without identification, you will be summarily killed. Nothing personal," she says, caressing the dome of one of them.
Tracy disguises herself as a two-headed naga.
>>58857She hides first though.
>>58858She can't hide while standing amidst a crowd. e_e
>>58856Shit.
Tracy searches the crowd for a goy who looks like he'd be easy to pickpoket.
>>58859I meant to have her do that before she got up there.
>>58861It's not important though.
Trumpaladin enters a state of existential horror: he is the illegal alien without documentation
>>58860What are you looking for?
>>58865Someone I can steal an id from, and them promptly disguise myself as.
>>58856Trumpaladin listens, and switches the ring shield for the ring of fire resistance
>>58864RIP in peace Trumpaladin
>>58866Which you will return once you are done if he is white.
>>58864Better go back and go get your visa lawfully, m8.
I kid.
Tracy stands back from the crowd and makes herself scarce, waiting for the performance to start so that she can swipe an id while everyone's distracted.
*changes back into wojack*
Can I get a better description of the raven-haired woman?
The woman goes on to describe the workings of the city. Rather than using any particular form of transportation, the city employs a network of teleportation gates. In this way, they are not required to landscape or modify existing structures, instead they can erect a doorway than connect it to other areas. The city that is apparent is actually the top-floor of a city that expands underground, and the full capacity of the city is many times larger than it appears. But that's all for the mundane performers. The city level is for the finest of talent, and everyone (here) has been selected for their merit and ability. She describes that the gate system is linked to their identification, enabling access to whatever facilities that their particular position (ala a hierarchy) that the individual is authorized to utilize.
>>58876Does she give any hint on where new residents can pick-up their possessions from security?
>>58875>pic>>58877No, this doesn't seem the sort of crowd that would need to know something like that. As she continues her address, she describes more mundane shit that has little relevance, about how to contact agency representatives and such, finally concluding the address with an invitation to all to enjoy themselves, and to get ready, as this is the latest group that will change the way that the world views entertainment.
Oh, and she introduces herself (by name) as "That Bitch".
>>58878>How to contact agency representativesDesire to know more intensifies
What is this... Extravaganza?
>>58878*contemplates murder*
What about the crowd? What kind of people are around?
More importantly, are they paying attention to what's behind them?
>>58878*Degeneracy senses tingling*
>>58854Without showing any advance warning and as Stix approaches the for a strike, the figure deftly side-steps his attack and squares on him, ignoring the remaining troops who had braced for an attack. Only one of their strikes had landed, but it doesn't seem to have been effective against whoever this is.
"Well now, this is a surprise," the intruder says. "And where might you have come from?"
>>58882“I’m not completely sure on that. I happen to last remember coming from a certain tower. I don’t suppose you know about it do you?”
He takes a step back and braces for combat.
>>58878*reeeeees*
*spaghetti flys out of pocket at mach 2*
>>58879Its essentially a welcoming party. All along the sides of the park are kiosks and booths with a variety of food and entertainment.
>>58880All sorts of artsy/contemporary/fashionable individuals. There are even some non-human races in attendance, and the level of gaudiness would make Thez blush.
>>58883"Another one from the tower then? Unexpected. Well let's see what you're made of!"
Stix gets an attack of opportunity as the figure darts toward him with incredible speed.
>>58885Alright, Trumpaladin nears a booth to see what it contains. What is this entertainment like?
>>58885Having understood the importance of acquiring a visa, Tracy steps back and bides her time, eyeing each individual and contemplating when she'd get a chance to swipe a high-ranking card.
"I'll get those knives if it's the last thing I do.."
>>58885"Reeeeeeeee b-burn the c- coal pay the t- toll"
>>58886Knick-knacks and trinkets, party favors and accessories. Jeweled cases for the "ID cards", one booth says something about "Why Fie",....
>>58887And almost on cue, That Bitch signals for a number of performers to take the stage. Some are vocalists, others are coreographed dancers, with musical accompaniment from the edge of the stage. The performance has the effect of drawing pretty much everyone's attention.
>>58885Stix lunges at the figure with his dagger, aiming for his throat.
>>58890Please that be because i interrupted with
>>58889
>>58890All these people are new to the city?
>>58891I hate luck based gameplay! It is just not good except on rare occasion...
>>58891Use the double-ended shortsword. You can attack multiple times.
>>58894You can rank up your skills.
Rangers have a high base attack bonus too.
>>58894How do you think i feel? Ive been doing that for like 6 months.
>>58892>trying to get himself killed>>58893With the exception of the current performers, yes
>>58891The figure effortlessly side-steps the dagger, and in fact grabs the tip of the blade (disarm).
"Oh no no no, you'll have to do better than that!"
>>58896Your not making me feel better...
>>58899>>58896I know that feel too.
>>58898And there was almost no one elsewhere in the city on this level?
>>58898“Hmm... I see you went to disarm me instead of stiking me down. Why is that?”
Stix draws his double sided short sword.
>>58901I'm not sure I follow. There's a couple hundred people in attendance, of which maybe 20 are
not new arrivals. There's undoubtably others throughout the city, this is just the newbie-party.
>>58902Taking the dagger and <thunk> tossing it into a nearby support-beam, the figure assumes a particularly self-assured posture.
"You'd prefer I finished this quickly? What fun would that be?"
>>58903“Eh... not fun maybe, but it seems a little soft if you ask me.”
He takes another swing at the intruder.
The troops are quite bewildered, and more of them (from the other flanking position) are filling in behind Stix, forming a loose perimeter around him and the figure. They look nervously from Stix to the figure, and to one another.
>>58903I see.
Trumpaladin approaches a new arrival
"Why hello there"
>>58890>>58898I was going to wait until Infernius created chaos, but after moving away from the crowd to change herself into something vaguely humanoid, Tracy discreetly moves through the crowd and attempts to pull an ID card off of the classiest-looking goy she can see.
Rolling Sleight of Hand
>>58907Fuck! That was close.
>>58904Reaching up with one arm, the figure blocks the incoming strike, emitting purplish sparks as the weapon makes contact, but not seeming to cause damage.
"I'd planned for them, " indicating the troops, "You however, are something of a wild-card in this."
The intruder does an exaggerated back-flip, to land squarely on thin air, now positioned slightly outside the wall (but otherwise held aloft by artificial means). One hand begins to glow with a dark-purple energy.
>>58906"And who are
you supposed to be?" they look at Fae. "Sigfried and Roy?"
>>58907Success, but not without bumping into the individual such that they become agitated. "Hey, you, watch where you're going! Do you have any idea who I am?" they accuse, drawing looks from those around.
>>58909"Oh, you think you're better than me?"
>>58909"Shes better than some race mixing whore!"
>>589111. Tracy is still disguised
2. you're probably not that close
3. There is no context for that statement
>>58909“Why are you destroying the place? Did one of the soldiers here steal your wife?”
Seeing the glow, Stix immediately thinks of unicorns charging a blast. He ducks for cover.
>>58913I’m just about fed up with this...
Wait. Are there ponies in the crowd?
>>58909*Tips hat* (she's disguised as a leprechaun btw)
With the card in her pocket, Tracy bows apologetically, stepping back towards the mailboxes.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm new to this land. Do you perform?" she asks, with a flattering tone
>>58912You're still an ostrich.
>>58911Trump isn't talking to That Bitch, she's left the stage. Trump is talking to some random cunt.
>>58910"Ha! My dog," she says indicating a small poodle, "is better than you!"
>>58913You don't need to roll to attempt to take cover, but since you rolled a 1, we'll assume that he lost his footing and doesn't have the opportunity. They seem amused at the suggestion about a soldier stealing their wife.
"Why? Cuz I do what I want!
THATS why!" they say, loosing a small fireball at Stix.
>>58917"Hold on a second, I'm not done with you!" the fellow says, drawing more attention. "What's your name! I demand an apology!"
>>58916No
>>58918"Care to prove it?"
As the fireball zips in and collides with Stix, another fireball erupts around the figure, sending it flying outside the city wall.
"Bullseye!" yells a relatively dainty-looking unicorn, standing next to a large war-machine, positioned just around the corner of the wall, to maintain concealment (kek, a concealed trebuchet)
>>58918"My name.."
*takes a step towards mailboxes*
"..Is Bridget Cloverfield.."
*takes another step*
"May I have the privilege of knowing yours?"
>>58921"Well now MISS Cloverfield, you've offended me, you've disrupted my fine clothing, and you've disturbed an otherwise delightful party! I demand satisfaction!" he says storming in the direction of one of the Shazbots.
>>58919"Look at this guy! He's actually entertaining challenging a
dog!"
>>58920“Augh!”
Stix falls to the ground and starts to panic.
“Please, stop the burning... anything to stop it!”
>>58922"So you came here to prove your dog's talent?"
>>58922"F- fuck you cunt!"
>>58922"Oh, I beg your pardon, fine sir. If you'd just tell me your name..?" The young leprechaun says quickly stepping to the side.
>>58926"Oh don't you worry, you'll be getting much more than my name!" he says shaking his finger at Tracy, while approaching the Shazbot. "You there, I require your assistance."
"INTRUDER DETECTED" the bot says, opening up a hole.
>>58924"What a noob! Are you even in the right place? You MUST have been misclassified!" the random cunt laughs.
>>58927Bridget nervously steps back as the bot aims it blast.
>>58927Trumpaladin shrugs, and walks away
>>58929And the random fellow is summarily reduced to a pile of ash. The concert/performance is momentarily stalled, as everyone's attention is drawn to the spectacle of the guy getting burned alive before their very eyes.
That Bitch emerges from the crowd near the Shazbot. "Fool, I literally just finished telling him to keep his ID on him,...."
>>58931"O-oh.. What a shame.." Bridget says quietly, backing away slowly
>>58923From his position on the wall, Stix can see that the figure has landed outside the wall, and is in a smouldering heap, its robes torn to shreds revealing a grey-skinned female with vibrant-red hair.
"Damn Slovenia, that wasn't a normal shot was it?"
>>58931How many shazbots are there?
>>58934In the entire area? A dozen maybe?
>>58933Are the new entrants essentially enjoying a concert?
Bridget sneaks off to a corner, and reads the Fancy Anon's ID tag
>>58933Stix, after his panic attack, runs out to continue the fight.
“Where did you go off to? You think I’m going down that easy?”
>>58936After That Bitch's dismissal of the guy who "forgot his ID", yes. The concert resumes.
>>58938Alfonzo G. Gorplemonger
Before Stix' eyes, the dainty unicorn smugly walks up to the grey-female. "No it wasn't, and you're lucky too. That was just a clay-pot filled with lamp oil. If that tartan-fellow ever completes my refined munitions, then you'll REALLY be hurting." Slovenia and Thez make their way back into the town. The troops who were downed are roused and awakened by the remaining troops, and Stix realizes that though knocked unconscious, no one was actually harmed. Limping slightly, the grey-female (Thez, hereafter) approaches Stix. "You showed a great deal of courage. We haven't met yet, but you've already mentioned that you came from the tower."
Well that was unfortunate timing
>>58940Now what are the people attending doing?
>>58942Varying. Some are watching the show, some are talking into their ID cards (think smart phones, so I can stop being implicit), others are engaged in shit-talking with each-other not unlike the random cunt was.
>>58940Stix eyes twitch.
“What are you talking about? You just attacked this place... I... if this was all some act, why the hell shoot me with fire?”
>>58943Now surely there must be a place to repair or update or what gave you IDs?
>>58943Observing this, Tracy attempts to activate Alfonzo's card.
>>58945You probably get yours at the front gate.
>>58944"Yeah, sorry about that. I got bored and so I decided to scrimmage with the troops. I figure "why wait for someone to attack to test our defenses, when I can just pretend to attack and test them myself?". I hadn't expected your arrival. Don't worry, its just ki-fire. It won't burn you, and at the moment I'm using it non-lethally."
>>58945Yes. IDs were already distributed during the application process. Though not detected (yet), Trump, Tracy, and Fae have targets on their backs.
Excuse me, Trump, *Infernius, and Fae
>>58946What's Tracy's Use Magical Device skill?
>>58949But is there a place to repair IDs?
>>58949Stix is still shaken from the attack.
“Listen... apparently your supposed to be a friend... but get this through your head before we continue. Me and fire... DONT MIX. Got it? I don’t know why, but I freak out when I get near it.”
>>58951Shit.. I don't have my notes atm. I think it was only 13.
Can she take 10 on that check?
>>58954Thez crosses her arms in front of her and cocks her head to the side while looking at him thoughtfully. "Lenos will be a problem," she off-handedly remarks. Then directly, "Fair enough, though for reference," she says holding her hand out and drawing on the purplish energy, "You can see its more of an aura than actual fire, it just looks like fire from a distance," and from up close, Stix can see that it has more of a shape and movement of fluid than fire, though with observably different properties as far as gravity and localization.
>>58956Now where can Trump find an agency representative?
>>58933*overlooked bull noises*
>>58956He still takes a step back.
“My brain doesn’t seem to care right now what it technically is... it is still telling me to... well... best not say that. Anyway, my name is Stix.”
>>58952If there are, this is unknown to Trump
>>58955Yes, that's fine
>>58958Well, last I checked Infernius was attempting to heckle the person running the show. Did you want me to not overlook that part? Is he still flying or has he decided to land?
>>58960Trump walks around through the crowd and around the perimeter, looking for the equivalent of an Apple Store
>>58960After fiddling with the device for a long period of time, and guessing various pet-names, Tracy tries to access any information on the device in an attempt to steal Gorplemonger's identity.
>>58959"Pleased to meet you Stix, I'm Thez," she thinks for a moment and chuckles, "Isn't filly out looking for sticks?" shakes her head, "Nevermind. Anyway, I can promise that you'll have no more firey-whats-it from me, but you should probably not mention that,... quirk,... in front of the short, shiny-haired guy. He's a dick. He's the reason that there's that "firetrap" sign in the hallway.
>>58962That device
is gorplemonger's identity
>>58961I should warn you, most of the Shazbots are around the perimeter. Additionally, there don't seem to be stores in this area, though there are gates which undoubtably lead to other areas. If one has an ID that is.
>>58963Obviously or covertly?
>>58964Can she find anything about Gorplemonger? Where he lived, what level access he had?
>>58964As flashy as possible.
>>58964Heads to the center and tries to find someone who looks like they are not a new arrival
>>58964“I see. Well, glad to meet you Thez. Do you happen to be from the tower as well?”
>>58970About that feel...
>>58966Use Symbol of Stunning and spraypaint a swastika on your chest.
>>58970~Yay! Infernius rolled a 20!
>>58973On a roll that will attract attention to himself and get himself killed
>>58971>>58972>>58973*victory mega giga dab*
>>58974Oh not
just killed. I'm having to think hard here, cuz that 20 could go a number of ways. It could be a spectacular success or a magnificent failure and considering his choice of action that could be equally bad or good.
>>58976>spectacular success or magnificent failurehttps://youtu.be/YlQfW9oK1G4
>>58974He rolled for a flashy entrance, not necessarily to get himself killed.
>>58979What happens to people who are present without IDs?
>>58977REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
DELET.
>>58978Wonderful my friend.
So I'm figuring that since Infernius was going for as flashy as possible, and he rolled a 20, he somehow magnificently times his arrival with the climax of the song, which the audience generally receives as being part of the show. Additionally, a chorus of "INTRUDER DETECTED" is heard from throughout the crowd, and he sees about a dozen shiny metal mailbox-looking things headed his way on the ground.
>>58969"Yep. The glassy-walled rooms? Same. You know, you're like the 5th pony I've seen here, where before there weren't any."
>>58987Surely they didn't think the performance was over?
Atop a gilded lioness rides a shimmering man with sword drawn, charging towards the nearest Shazbot
>>58988Ur still an ostrich
>>58988>GM, I want to wake up in the Entertron without all my equipment too!>>58989kek
>>58988"Rock You Like a Hurricane" plays, and Trumpaladin casts Eagle's Splendor upon himself
https://youtu.be/CGfKi6kpdTQ
>>58987“Maybe the tower is less picky now?”
He chuckles
“So, this port is under attack a lot?”
>continues munching on popcorn
My money's on Infernius dying first, then Trump. Tracy will be the only one to survive
[1d20+31 = 51]
[3d20 = 56]
Pounce on Shazbot. Sunder nozzle
>>58992"That's an understatement. Its complicated, but the short version is that the Port is upsetting alot of established and entrenched groups and structures. It used to be a run-down pirate port, but now its a thriving and emergent socio-economic power, particularly because we - yourself included - have used our abilities to aid and develop the community. There's plenty of people who are upset, threatened, and not to pleased about this. I think the place has been attacked 3 times? 4 times? 5? Its been hairy."
>>58993o_o
>>58997Holy fucking shit mate.
This just got interesting
>>58998“Anything I can do to help you out then?”
Bridget moves a good distance away from the bots, before they explode.
Fae kicks off from the bot, nozzle severed and presumably about to enter self destruct sequence - disarmed regardless - and runs at full speed towards the next bot
>>58997>sighTrump, oblivious to the fact that no one else is apparently armed, draws Vandereim and charges the nearest of Shazbots. Shazbot.
This immediately disperses the crowd in a frenzied panic, screams and cries issuing from every corner of the park as masses stream away and toward the gates. That Bitch is talking furiously into her ID, and the remaining Shazbots divide and close in on Trump and Infernius respectively. Now, am I interpreting it as Fae did the 20 pounce, and the rest is Trump breaking the bot's toys?
[1d20+21 = 40]
While everyone's distracted, Bridget takes advantage of the chaos to swipe another card.
>>59004You started this
>Leaves to get more popcorn
>>59001In the Napoleanic wars the armies of the Austrians and the Prussians were unambiguously stronger than the army of France... but there were three of them, each one of them smaller than the French force. Napolean double marched his men to engage first an Austrian army, annihilate it, then double marched them to the next army, destroyed it, and then the same to the third force. In WW1, the Russians invaded East Prussia with a force much larger than the German force - in two armies. The Germans attacked and destroyed one, then used the rail network to quickly move their army to attack the other russian army at Tannenburg.
These Shazbots are very difficult to defeat. But taken down one by one
>>59006The 20 is Trump with sugoito, the other three are Fae
>>59007She goes for another.
>>59006How fast are they? Fae is 180 in a charge and 360 in a run. You said they were dispersed along the perimeter. They must have started far apart
>>59012160 in a charge and 320 in a run, whatever
>>59014Does Fae have Cleave?
>>59010Gotcha
>>59011Kek, sure why not?
>>59012^Sugoito
Pouncing eliminates Fae's movement speed, and though they're not in range, they're bee-lining toward. I assumed Fae attacked the closest one, which would have been near him as it had not detected him as a threat.
>>59013Yes, except above
And yes, the one Fae attacked is beginning its self-destruct sequence.
Now then, roll for initiative u fags
>>59016Rolling initiative, I guess.
>>59016She can go 160 feet in the same round she pounces, but sure
"Okay, listen. If you stop until I get this cannon ordered, I'll help you get a gnome dinner."
Bluff [1d20 = 3]
>"I'll consider it"
Check motive [1d20 = 3]
>>59018>>59020>>59019My luck is spreading!
>>59019>3&3Well, uh...
Snek is pretty sure Torc is lying, but he's hoping Torc isn't.
Torc is wary that Snek knows he's lying, but he really need to get back to ordering this cannon
>>59018Yes, but upon pouncing her movement is halted
>many keksThese fuggin dice
Rolling for bots and That Bitch
>>59016Can Trumpaladin have Aura of Protection? It's a class feature of the 5e Paladin
>>59026I want that too. Or its ebil opposite.
says the faggot without even knowing what it is.
>>59027>>59027Trust me. You' rather
Trump have it
>>59026>can I have a previously unmentioned abilityNot in the middle of a fight
>>59027A rock hits Tracy in the head. It must have gotten kicked up or something. It doesn't do damage, but it really hurts.
>>59030"Ouch!" cries the leprechaun
>>59002Thez looks Stix up and down appraisingly, again crossing her arms. "Hmmm. How does a pony use a bow exactly?"
... was Infernius going to roll initiative?
>>59032“Apparently, I don’t do it well. My father could though, but I suppose I didn’t pay enough attention to how he did it to actually hit anything.”
>>59036Well.... It's not a 1
>>59034A compelling argument.
>>59035The cocks her head again, this time looking up in a random direction. She looks again in another direction before her face brightens. "I've got just the thing! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!" she yells.
"As far as helping, it really depends. I mean there's always stuff that can be done around here, and probably more still than I'm even aware of. Currently the party has made opponents of 1. An unidentified band of pirates, 2. The former/current emperor of this geographical area - who himself is batshit crazy and stupid OP - , and potentially many other groups who haven't so much as named or identified themselves. Oh, and we've also been pissing off/on the jews.
>>59036XD
Tracy uses her superior speed to dash far away to a safe distance where she can hide and observe, pretending to be screaming and panicking like a sane person would.
From her hiding spot she keeps an eye on That Bitch, who seems to be a figure of authority.
"And," she whispers, "I'd bet my life that they're pissing off yet another faction as we speak."
>>59040She also picks up anything that may have been dropped by the crowd, especially cards, and places her two additional ID cards (not Gorplemonger's) in her bag of holding.
>>59041“Any idea where they went off to then? Maybe I should help them out if they are into trouble.”
>>59042>>59040The bots go next, right?
>>59044Yes. I hadn't considered Tracy as a combatant at this point, and she can interject herself if she desires, but is otherwise 'concealed' by the surging crowd who are increasingly grouping together by the gates,one by one jumping through to whatever their destination is, away from here. Some of them are holding up their IDs and talking at them in ridiculously dramatic displays.
*urge to start looting like a nigger intensifies*
Tracy stays back at a very, very safe distance and observes.
Tracy reads the names of the other two identities she stole.
>>59046I guess Trumpaladin can talk as a free action out of sequence:
To the Lady:
"I came to see what was going on. I entered with my girlfriend, but then she ran off and left me and so now I do not have my ID. I was going to ask about a replacement with a representative but there were none. I mean no harm."
>>59048Otto von SchnitzelpuskraukengeBcheit Meyer
That German "B" that stans for a "sss" soundand Frank
"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine"
>>59049So then, the Shazbots circle Trump and Infernius. They're not in immediate proximity, but that's okay cuz their breath weapon occurs at range if permitted.
Infernius rolls a 6d20 and Trump rolls a 5d20.
>>59049"Lost your ID? An example will have to be made. Pretty sure I don't recall your image from the admission forms though," she sneers.
>>59052The ring of evasion means that if he wins a saving throw, he takes no damage, rather than half damage. He has a +18 to his saving throws with eagle's splendor (added earlier). And 10 fire resistance
>>59053"Indeed one shall be made"
>>59054His saving rolls are 34, 25, 26, 27, and 31
"Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
Parsley sage rosemary and thyme
Without no seams nor needle work
Then she'll be a true love of mine"
>>59050>two guysOne more card, from a girl this time.
>>59058Are you assuming Frank's gender?
>>59059Oh fuck!
*Turns self in to police*
>>59059Uh... if Trumpaladin has taken little damage, then the following
Fae: Pounce on Shazbot
Trumpaladin: Sunder nozzle on shazbot
>>59058>>59060Nevertheless, she still streaks another card.
>>59062
Oh, nice try, Mr. Moderator.
>>59068I asked if Fae succeeded on her saves or not.
>>59043"Yeah, they headed off to Sparintenar, a city of one of our (few) allies. Don't worry though, I'm sure they deserve every bit of the trouble they're creating for themselves."
>>59070"And on that note, let me show you the Entertron!" she beams.
>>59070“Well, if you say so. I guess I will look around this place for a little bit and then see what kind of trouble I can get myself into... I just hope I don’t have my ass handed to me again.”
>>59071Darn it, didn’t see that
>>59071“What’s an... Entertron?”
So, what happens next?
And who's identity did Tracy steal this time?
[3d20 = 44]
Trumpaladin figures that he has misjudged the city of Cardishore. He has misjudged the portals. He misjudged his allies. And he misjudged the present situation. With no purpose, and no options, he orders Fae to jump, and to take to the sky - to fly out of range of the bots, and through the hole in the dome that lets in natural light. He self deports.
As he does so, he leaves a parting gift. A few months ago, he got in an argument with Infernius. Infernius got angry and punched him. But in compensation, he gave Trumpaladin three of the grenades that were taken from Korak's body. With quickdraw and a free action, he draws out these grenades and a lighter. With a standard action, he lights them. And with a move action, he tosses them all to the ground to the shazbots
>>59072"Oh please, that was nothing! The Entertron," she says, leading him toward a large medical facility/area, with all manner of supplies and features, "is this weird fancy gadget that can keep you alive. Basically, if your body is ever destroyed beyond repair, it does some technological shit ant makes you whole again." she putzes with a display and brings up a data screen, which list a bunch of names, including Thez, Torcuil, Trumpaladin, Tracy, etc.
"Basically, it pricks your finger and then if you get blown up it uses your blood as a template to reconstitute your(a?) body."
I g2g for at least half an hour
>>59078“But I don’t have fingers...”
Okay, sorry for the delay. The issue with the breath weapons is that I've been attempting to determine how mounted creatures count as far as sharing area-of effect symptoms. Basically what I'm finding is that due to immediate proximity, both Trump and Fae are subject to all 5 breath weapons. 2 of them hit Trump (so full damage all considered).
>>59080>deadpan stare"It takes a blood sample then."
>>59079No worries
>>59077Good question, he's being set on fire
>>59081He bursts out laughing.
“What, im not allowed to joke around with you? Oh well, it is rather impressive... I hope I don’t have to use it anytime soon.”
Thinks about it for a while.
“So, do our enemies know about this?”
>>59082"Sorry, again I'm not accustomed to dealing with so many ponies. Some of them do know about this, particularly the Emperor. We're not sure exactly what his game is, but he's from the tower
also."
"Allow me to demonstrate," she says, pulling out a ridiculously ornate mini-scythe (kama) and - with an observable wince - cuts her finger off. She then enters the Entertron and the finger immediately reconstitutes. "I should explain that in addition to reviving you if you get turned into a grease-spot, it also heals any damage you've sustained if you go into it willingly. The only consequence is that when you're healed, you find that,"
Its probably absurd how much I love saying this
You're still hungry.
>>59084“Cool... and slightly disturbing. And I guess it makes sense that you’re still hungry... it would be weird if it constructed food for you based off of your blood.”
>>59086I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she acts like a bitch
>>59086Well, I was waiting on Infernius' saving throws, but I suppose I can roll them myself. That Bitch is engaged in a heated discussion with someone over her ID, the general gist of it being "A dozen? I want hundreds! Arial and land! The big ones!"
>>59088>calling in the TerminatorsOh shit.
>>59089What did they think was going to happen, going Leeroy Jenkins on one of the wealthiest nation-states in the world?
Tracy continues fiddling with her stolen devices.
It's a communication device, right? Can it tell her anything about the city?
>>59090There was literally no other option. He can't use stealth. They will not respond to diplomacy. He does not have sleight of hand to steal IDs. He could not obtain an ID by any means at all. The only option was to kill the robots one by one while they were separated on the perimeter. But apparently they can all move together in a single round. So
>>59076 is all that remains to be said
>>59076How did I miss this post?
Okay. For starters, he could have just kind of gone with the crowd, waiting for an opportunity to present its self. Perhaps one of his allies might have procured an ID that he could move freely with, or perhaps some other form of circumstance could have allowed the avoidance of the spectacle.
As is, Trump attempts to make haste from the scene (prudently so) and flee the city. As he does so, he notices a number of shiny objects begin to tail him as Fae flies toward the open sky above the city.
At the same time, Infernius (or rather, Uatchit to her credit) engages some brilliant maneuvers and arial acrobatics, essentially negating any of the incoming breath weapons. To do so, he would have to have either not dismounted entirely, or he would have to have remounted, but considering the alternative is getting set on fire from 4 different directions, I'm assuming he's ok with that.
>>59095>opportunityThat's what this was. The opportunity.
>allyThe one who ran off?
>flying thingsThey fly on, through the opening, then down the sides of the dome, then down the road leading to Krenshall and towards his original destination
>>59094Tracy was going to offer him an ID that someone "dropped", and then disguise him with her dust.
>>59085"A decent point, except we also have replicators, which synthesize any food imaginable. I mean, it seems to me that someone could cross-reference the replicator and the entertron, especially since in a manner of speaking the entertron
is a "ppl" replicator, but that's way too technical for me," she says waving her hand dismissively.
>>59097True, Tracy did run off,... 2x,... but she's also carrying Trump's babeh, and she's not likely to abandon babeh's father. Not lastingly anyway.
>>59098This, she's got 4 now.
>>59098She waited a hell of a while to do it
Tracy move's away to the garden area that the party passed by earlier, in stealth, and buries one of her stolen ID cards there.
>>59099“Now a food replicator is something I got to see sometime. Real quick, how do you activate this thing to take a blood sample?”
>>59101She had to be discreet to steal shit. She literally just murdered Alfonso in front of a crowd to keep her cover.
>ran offTracy can't do shit to firebreathing robots. It's more productive to stay at a distance and do what she can with her own skills.
>>59103"Put your hand,... er,... hoof here," she says, indicating what looks like a touch-screen keyboard that displays a hand-icon.
>>59104She did no such thing. The Shazbots simply dealt with an obvious intruder.
>>59104If she wants to send a message, now is her chance
>>59105“Like this?”
He places his hoof on the screen.
>>59107And with a slight prick on his hoof, Stix probably won't die. I mean he might still, there's plenty of ways to die that supersede the Entertron, but its better than nothing!
>>59106Yeah, that whole empathic link has been kinda neglected desu
>>59109I forgot about it, desu.
>>59106Tracy isn't exactly sure what to say or do atm.
Tracy looks towards the flying lion.
>'Is.. Is it time to go yet?'
>>59109He was attacked by a robot and she fled, then he went to get Fae and Tracy wondered off... Hasn't been seen or heard from since... Suffice it to say he's changing his relationship status on Facebook
>>59110>"I can't stay here, that I can tell you"
I put dust on Brad and changed Tracy's disguise several times so that they'd have the option to re-enter lawfully if things went sour. I didn't account for Fae or Infernius though...
>>59110>always wants more abilities>neglects current abiliteso_o
>>59108 O_o “Now with that taken care of, I suppose I will start wandering around this place and see what a pony has to do around here to earn a coin. I spent the last of what I had on a string for this darn bow I can’t seem to use right.”
>>59114At least I'm not as bad as Torc.
Tracy looks towards the flying figures figures as she contemplates her next step.
How many flying bots are there?
>>59116I don't ask for shit except maybe a level or two in bard...
Though I have no defense on forgetting shit...
Tracy's options
1. Issue some sort of stay to Trumpaladin, sleight of hand an ID into Infernius of he doesn't fly off, meet up with Trumpaladin and give him an ID, then proceed as a team deeper in. Sneak attack robots if necessary with chain, or possibly ask Trumpaladin to ca her
2. Just go deeper in alone
3. Leave Cardishore
4. Some combination of the above
>>59118Things to consider
1. You cannot Sneak attack robots.
2. To give a card to Infernius, she'd have to walk up to him and hand it to him, putting herself in danger
3. Before she does anything else, she has to consider what's about to happen to her husband.
Torc wonders if the gnomes are ignoring him for fun
>>59119Tracy waits for further intentions from Brad, not sure if she should (attempt to) fly after him.
Are there any more bots in sight?
>>59121>Fly after himand expose herself to the robots?
If she wants to meet up, he can run away from the bots and meet her at the hole, then he sneaks back in the dome and they both go in
>InferniusAt least he can fly fast
Yeah.. I really dropped the ball on communication this session.. sorry..
>>59123>Expose selfShe'd just fly while ethereal. It was only a suggestion.
Also, are you sure you can out-fly those bots?
*Waits for dialogue*
>sneaks back in
Is he bringing Fae this time? Tracy never disguised her
>>59121>"if you care, I'm being pursued by bots. I'm betting I can outrun them"
>>59126She can disguise her easy I am sure. Make her look like Pepita from Coco
Apologies, I had business related
>>59115>coin"Oh, you needn't worry about that. I mean, we're not to the level of a kingdom, but we have finances on lock."
>>59120Sorry, I forgot where he left off at, other than Snek wanting to eats and getting the cannon re-fit. I recall he mentioned the Stray Cat to the gnomes, so it would make sense that they would be retrieving the necessary schematics.
>>59127>'where do you want to meet?'
>>59129“I’m not sure I understand. By this you mean you are willing to lend me some money to purchase gear?”
>>59130>"I am running on top of the dome with Fae. But unless you have IDs I do not know how will would proceed"
>tfw you realize that the shitty coffee you were given earlier was actually decaf and ur passing out
I don't even like coffee..
>>59133RIP
>>59129>patiently waits
>>59130>"where we came in, I would think"
>>59132The IDs we're going to be a surprise, but okay..
>'I'll meet you there then.'
>>59136They're still going to be a surprise, because he still doesn't know
>>59135>'Wait! I told Infernius to seal the hole..!'
>>59137I just didn't want to cause Drama over stealing things and potentially killing Innocents.
>>59131"In a manner of speaking. We've lots of resources, means, and accounts for procuring mundane-to-fine items, and refined items are certainly negotiable. For example, we (and by that she means the port) are responsible for the most thriving jewelry trade this world has ever seen! So to say, if you need equipment or provisions, it can probably be supplied gratis."
>>59134"Huh,you'restillhere.Iwould'vethoughtyou'dhavegottentiredofitall.IwasabletolocatealltheessentialdocumentationsurroundingtheStrayCat,includingthecannonschematics.Ithinkwecanhaveaserviceablereplacementinnomorethanaweek,dependingoncraftingrolls," that older gnome casually vomits in Torcuils direction (referring to their speech method, not literally)
>>59138She did? That's news to me,... no surprise there
nobully
>>59140In the message where she told him to come to Cardashil...
...fuck!
>>59140>(referring to their speech method, not literally)Gladly noted
"Thankyou"
Torc pulls out some gold he keeps for moments like this
"Here'smydownpayment"
>"Steak time?"
>>59139>>59138>"do you think he sealed it? Anyways... I'm coming over there. I'm running, so I may not be able to wait..."
>>59140“Doesn’t feel right to get things for free, but I suppose I will earn my keep with the gear. I will take a look at the shops then. Thanks for you help, Thez.”
>>59142Careful myah, Snek may find himself some food, but the party might also wind up with another tag-along,...
>>59144>' I don't know.. maybe he forgot..?'*Dashes off to where the hole may or may not be*
>>59145"I can appreciate your reticence, but consider it a dynamic where certain members of the party are strategically minded, while others are borderline jews when it comes to money (and even a legit jew). The result is that there's always more available than is needed, excepting when we get robbed by elveniggers.
"Hey!" says a voice in the distance.
>>59146>tag-alongUh...
Sure, I totally understand what you mean"Listen, we gotta pick up the cannon in a week," Torc begins to leave saying his goodbye to the gnomes. "Until then I would like to keep good relations with these guys."
>"What are you saying?""You've been seen with me. Next time we'll enter the city separately and you can have a disguise."
>"Fine, I guess that makes sense""Good. Now, Back to the tower. The others should be back by now."
>>59147Dashes towards the hole, hoping Fae is faster than the bots
>>59148“I see... but what is a jew?”
Turns to see where the new voice is coming from.
>>59151Wait,... not through the open-top roof?
>>59152"Oh don't mind him, that's darkie. He's an elvennigger."
"
DROW!"
"Yeah, like I said, an elvennigger. He's harmless, since he realizes that we can subject him to worse than he ever imagined."
>>59153“I would love to hear that story sometime.”
>>59153He flies out through the open roof, and has land and run as soon as she is outside, to meet Tracy at the hole
Tracy wait to see what the bots are doing before she acts.
>>59154"Well, he was part of the group of elvenniggers who robbed us,... twice, but was caught because he was too cocky. Then he got tortured and mutilated, and then almost killed everyone (yes, while tortured and mutilated) and then his head got put into a bucket, and then into a metal body-cast, and then we starved him.
Then he decided to plau along," she smiles, as though detailing the process of obtaining groceries.
>>59156She should run to the hole either way. She's safe
>>59157“Wow. I’m in over my head around here aren’t I?”
>>59157She's waiting to see if the bots are about to follow them outside.
>>59148Oh yeah, Susan. I was just reading that bread the other night.
>>59161I'd forgotten the Susan bit
>>59159"Doubtful. I mean you may not know/appreciate it, but
someone thought you were an apt addition, else you wouldn't be here. No one winds up "here" unless someone/thing nominates (in a manner of speaking) them. What that means is anyone's guess, but if you're here, its cuz something powerful enough decided to put you here. Though, come to think of it, we are rather avant garde as far as our methods are concerned.
>>59162“Well, I wish I can remember what makes me worth being here... all I seem to recall from back home is my father’s disappointment and my death”
>>59162>I remembered something GM didn'tThat's surprising
Anyway, Torc and Snek ride the airship back to the Tower with generous amounts of sea shanties and threatening to throw each other overboard
>>59162Where are the bots headed?
Has That Bitch gotten her order shipped yet?
>>59160Why wouldn't they?
>>59166She just wants to see what happens.
If they're outside, they won't be able to re-enter so easily.
>>59167They won't be able to fit through a hole of one exists, so he can go through and change disguise.
>>59163"Well, we're not the ones who determine worth. In some cases - darkie for example - characters were brought here so that they could continue to suffer. In other cases, characters were brought because some entity found them delightful. There are other examples, but the simplicity of it all is that there are no end of reasons why one finds themselves here, and often times it is to fulfill a purpose that is outside of what the individual may previously have assumed."
>>59165The bots form a perimeter ring around the top of the wall, maintaining constant visual with at least 3 others, and collectively maintaining 360x360 surveilance.
Including the spot with the hole in the wall
>>59169“I guess that makes sense. From my memory, I committed suicide. So I guess this is my second chance of sorts.”
>>59170"Oh," she says, visibly affected by the mention.
>>59169>Including the spot with the hole in the wallFug.
>'Looks like they're onto us. Slipping out, let alone back in won't be easy...'
>>59171Stix takes notice of this.
“Does that surprise you?”
>>59170"I rolled a 1 on my Spot check." Tracy says aloud for no reason
Tracy tries to see if Infernius is still not-incinerated.
>>59173"No its,... I mean I suppose not,... I just wasn't expecting,..." her voice trails off.
>>59174When?
>>59175He did well on his saving throws, so "not yet" at the moment, but he's also non-responsive
"I wonder if Death would mind dinner when I get back."
>"I'm still trying to figure out how you actually got her to date you.""Fucking mystery to me mate."
>>59175>inb4 Infernius becomes an inferno
>>59176>whenI was referring to how she died: didn't even get the privilege to know what hit her.
>>59172>"Do you have anyway of evading them?"
>>59176“You seem a little upset by this. Do you want to talk about it?”
>>59179>'not that I know of.. They're everywhere. It won't be simple to cut a hole like last time.'
>>59181“I don’t mind if you don’t”
>>59174I figure I may as well share the death story I had for Tracy, since I've never published it anywhere and I may as well share it some time.
Brad Sentry had been elected to the US Senate,
and was proceeding on a Bill that would have exposed lines of funding. He walked towards the Congress building with a group of senators of his party and the US president, as well as his then wife. As he walked, Tracy jumped from bushes and towards him with a knife, having apparently evaded the secret service for that long. As she did so, she had to jump an enormouse number of feet to close the distance (she was far away but a hell of a lot further than you'd think she could get), and in that time was shot two dozen times from two mp5 sub-machine guns from secret service agents.
She crawled some feet, and with her final heart beat, looked to Brad. The secret service agents had by this time forced everyone down in low, prone positions in place. Brad realized that she had gotten to far to spring all of a sudden... something must have forced her to act so early. He noticed from the trail of blood that she was not actually heading for him, or his wife. He looked towards where her path was taking her, and saw that the man next to him had a gun aimed at him. Quickly, he disarmed the man. A fellow senator of Brad's party at this point said fuck it, pulled his own gun, and shot Brad, killing him
>>59182>"If only we had IDs it would be easy enough to escape them. Maybe if I can get in line later I can get in next time..."
Gotta run for about 1/2 hour, sorry
>>59183Will respond asap
>>59186It’s fine. See you soon.
>>59186I look forward to your return
>"Yes but WHY where there fifteen men on the chest with a bottle of rum?""I don't know, it's just a song"
>>59185>'That dust will last about another hour. After that, you could re-enter legally. Get as far away as possible in the mean time.'
>>59190>"What will you do? Those bots will be coming for you and you do not have an ID
I think I might make Bridget my main Disguise (like Thez's hippie guy). She's grown on me.
>>59192Idk how else to spin it, so she'll be blunt:
>'I murdered a guy for his card. I swiped a couple others too; their owners are probably dead'
>>59194Tbqh desu senpai,
that was actually why I didn't use the link. I figured Paladins plausibly couldn't accept stolen things, or those pilfered through murder.
But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?
>>59194You could have worded it differently>"........
....
....
....
....
Fuck it. I'm running for the hole. Meet me there. I'm either figuring out what the hell is going on now or never"
>>59195>But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?STOP ABUSING YOUR SPECIAL PONY POWERS
>>59195On the bright side, with Gorplemonger dead, she can assume his ego.
>>59196Tracy moves towards wall where the hole was, flipping through Alfonso's card and looking at various selfies and whatnot to try to get a grasp of his personality.
This should summon Infernius' faggot
Hopefully
>>59186"LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenkiiiiiiins!"
On Fae he runs straight for the hole
>>59200Weren't there mailboxes there too though?
Be careful.
>>59199I hope you don't think I drew that
>>59202Editing colors as good as you do is still worth cheering on.
Shit, I guess I outta edit some moar then..
>>59201Watching, yes. The point is to go through before they can do much damage
That Bitch never made her turn on that initiative.
Did she do anything besides yell on her phone?
>>59207Yelling on the phone is doing something
Tracy moves back to monitor Infernius's situation.
>>59197Mr. Gorplemonger is quite alive, see here he's adopted this lovely mantis outfit cuz reasons
>>59207She's the reason there's a grip of arial bots in pursuit, as well as a variety of other bots that haven't gotten introduced yet cuz>flee
It would (and still may, waiting on Infernius) be a slaughter.
>>59187Thez <whooof> vanishes into a swirling tuft of smoke. A few moments later (less than a minute) she reappears with an ornate flask full of a clear liquid. She looks at Stix for a moment, shakes her head and sits down in one of the available chairs.
They're a the tower now yes? Torcuil would be arriving imminently.
>>59210Can Tracy make out what level of access Gorplemonger had with his card? He
acted like he was important.
>>59212Everyone around here acts important. Assuming that Tracy ventured near one of the gates, she would find that the ID lights up with several options including:
Home, Shopping, and Social.
>>59211“What’s that for?”
He points to the flask
>>59213Tracy decides to give the gate a shot.
>Home
>>59211Trumpaladin darts to get through the hole as quickly as possible
>>59212>"If you have an extra card, come to the hole Tracy, now or never"
>>59216>'There are mailboxes there though.'
>>59215Fuck
>>59217>"You told me you had a card. Do they follow you yes or no?"
>>59215Isn't Tracy involved in a plot to get an ID to Trump, Infernius, and Fae? I'm not saying "don't", but seriously, she's not that ADD is she?
>>59218>'I don't know if they follow me, but at least they won't flame me while I have the card...>'Thing is, if they see me going through the hole, they'll know what's up.'
>>59219Are there bots by the hole or not?
>>59220>ITT Tracy overestimates the sophistication of the Shazbot programming>>59221No, but they are in view of the hole, as well as the entirety of the perimeter.
>>59222Fuck it then.
Tracy leaves Infernius for dead and moves towards the wall.
>>59214"The green stuff gives me heartburn," she says. "Plus, I've so many inhibitions that I can't speak candidly without booze. Something to work on I suppose, but for now it works."
Drinking during pregnancy is not to be advised.
>>59220>"I thought you were disguised? Whatever. If I do not receive a card I am dead">>59223He can fly faster that Trump, and has all sorts of very useful magic like Sanctuary or Ethereal Jaunt or Dimension gate. But I think his strategy would be similar to Trump's
>>59226Tracy goes towards the hole.
>>59225Considering the fetus jacked a regen stone from the principle, I'm weighing that it'll be fine
>>59228Wouldn't that also make her unable to get drunk, like Captain America?
>>59229No, because I'm the GM and I say so
>>59228>>59227Fucking squeezes through the hole as quickly as he can. Fae first, since she has a lower save bonus
>>59224“I don’t remember too much... think you can help me out and ask me questions? That may jog my memory on some details.”
>>59233Damn right! I could have made all kinds of more or less douchy-calls based on whim, that this is the one I've done so far is a testament! Xp
>>59231So Trump is seriously making straight for the hole in spite of surveilance?
>>59235Fine, he throws a rock in another direction first.
Then runs straight for the hole
>>59237His options are 1. give up on Cardishore, and 2. go through the hole and hide once inside
>>59238Go ahead.
>'I'll be here, Flashy. Tell me your plan once you get through.'
>>59238Those aren't his only options, those are just the only options he's entertaining, right now, that justify immediate involvement/participation Xp
>>59239>"Once I am through the hole that will lose the flying ones and the ones outside. Then we get cards and change disguises, then hide in a house and wait for infernius... then we go through the gates
>>59240If he waits an hour Tracy will be gone and the window will have passed.
I guess Infernius is a pretty good distraction, but again, tracy will be gone by that time
>>59241>'How do we meet once we're through? I don't want to blow my cover..'Tracy disguises herself as a janitor, getting ready to feign sweeping up Infernius's ashen remains, should he be incinerated.
>repeats of last voyage with slight differences
>>59244>slight differencesDid Snek actually throw Torc off this time?
>>59242Yeah srsly, wtf happened to Infernius?
>>59244Not sure what you mean by that, but considering this was a scenario where "Observe, do nothing." was the A++ answer,....
>>59245No, this time it was a Broadway musical retelling of the voyage
>>59243>"Hand me a card. Or if you're that scared, just leave two cards at the hole and I'll run through myself. I'll take my chances. But I think you're ascribing a level of intelligence to these machines that they simply don't have"
>>59248>'You'll need to make sure your disguise matches your ID one we go through the gates. Not sure how well I can dress up Fae though..'Tracy walks in that direction
>>59246Torc and Snek are heading back to the tower in the ship
>>59245No, Torc almost threw Snek off...
Don't ask me how that works
>>59247SOOOO put that thing back where it came from or so help me!
>>59250You've pushed ten feet of snek off.... but most of him is still on the airship
>>59249>"alright..."
>>59251The dust is only +10 disguise btw.
I was going to use it as a fallback, so that the party would have the option to re-enter lawfully as their own selves if they got caught.
It'll still work on her, but she might be recognized. It won't be easy to dress her up as her card ID though.
>>59253>"We'll hide in a house"
>>59253Wish I could make an item that did the same with Bluff too. Then she'd be set.
>>59250My money is on Snek desu
>>59256U mean like a mask? "Smirk"
>>59257Same
>>59256I love my +25 bluff bonus
>>59257I meant like her Dust of Illusion, only for bluff, but yes. It'd be great to upgrade her Mustache-and-glasses.
>>59258Too bad sorcerers don't get Glibness
>"Sir! Your gold is cursed! You need to give it to us so that it won't kill you.">Rolls 1d20+54
>>59260That fucking settles it
BARD LEVELS HERE I COME
Um.... Trumpaladin goes through the wall
>>59261At least get to 9th level spellcasting first.
>>59260>tfw game mechanics have NPCs as complete knobs"Oi, I've got this small square peg that fits loosely in this big round hole, but I don't know what to do with this big round peg. Also, there's a small square hole I can plug with my finger"
>tfw Torc has mystic Theurge but still can't cast divine spells>>59263But y
>>59265That's literally why he got Theurge, so he can cast divine spells
>>59267H
O
W
?
Does this mean I can pick a domain?
Stix sits down and seems lost in thought.
>>59266Well, GM hasn't incinerated Trump yet so I'm guessing he was able to make it through...
*immediately grabs IDs for self and Fae from whoever is standing near the hole*
>>59269"You must kill them all"
>>59268No, it means he can cast divine spells. I thought we went over this a long time ago.
>>59270I'm waiting on Infernius dammit
>>59271He's not going to be here soon
>>59271What list tho?
Cleric, Paladin, Druid, or Ranger?
There isn't really a divine spell list
>>59274The spell list. Theurges don't do "domains" or w/e, they just cast spells.
>>59275I thought they just advanced whatever Divine spellcasting class they already had?
>>59275Would you mind linking me this spell list?
Because Theurges build upon character's spellcasting in
both arcane and divine determined by their class, and Torc can't cast divine spells
>>59277Just post good memes and you'll get appropriate spells for them.
>>59280>>59279But I don't wanna do that
>>59272Awww
How do you know that?Okay well I'll wrap up his situation then.
When we last left Infernius, he was being set on fire. He got some really nice dice rolls, and some really crappy ones.
>>59276It seems you're right.
>>59277https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:SpellsTracy is right, he only gets 1st level divine spells at this point. Its a pity too, cuz I misinterpreted the data (I thought that being a theurge allowed the caster to use their caster level to determine the arcane/divine spells they could cast)
>>59279Also this
>>59281Don't be a lazy faggot.
You only get all those spell haxx because we like memes.
>>59285Not to be contentious - and I will accommodate to an appropriate degree - but wasn't the meme magician thing
your idea? e_e
By "your" I mean Torcuil's
>>59286It was mine, actually.
>>1217 →
>>59284I made a fucking spell list damn it
>>59283But there are no "1st level divine spells" that I can find, only classes that use divine spells
>>59286I regret that idea
Turns out Torc qualifies for absolutely 0 prestige classes.
>>59292So does this mean Torc casts as a second level cleric?
>>59293You could be a archmage, if you take any metamagic feat, or an edritch knight if you learned martial weapon profficiency.
>>59294Dragon's Disciple too.
>>59293Negotiably, yes. Tbh, I had thought theurge was a haxx for equal cleric spells, but I had been operating in err
Oh wait, I almost forgot I'm GM
>pouf Torcuil's Theurge level(s?) are exchanged for meme magican levels
>>59296Did you consider those Paladin of Tyranny/Slaughter spells for Tracy yet?
Basically here's the thing. I had envisioned, intended, and resolved that the skinniest-assed MF'er (Torcuil) was gonna get spell hax. Since I determined long ago that many divine spells should be arcane equally/also, and vice versa, and THEN stumbled across Theurge, I figured this was a neat and easy resolution. Unfortunately, I was wrong. So, in the same vein of TRUMP GOOD, now there's Meme Magican (sp intentional) as a class
>>59296You mean sorcerer...
Right?
>>59295I will damned, something Torc is actually qualified for
>>59297Got a reference/link or am I flying blind
>>59299I'm still trying to allow him to use cleric spells. Do you want me to not?
>>59300While we're handing out gibs can I have Divine Might for Trumpaladin? Maybe Sacred Shield? The "rebalanced paladin" includes two bonus feats including those from the Divine Champion
>>59301Oh, okay. What Blackguard
should have been. Makes sense.
>>59302Links faggot, am drunk
>>59300I'd rather Torc just be a sorcerer.
I mean, I have a spell list and shit for a lvl 17 sorcerer
And I wasn't really enjoying meme maging as much as I thought I would...
>>59304Just meme a wizard to do the magic for you
>>59305>tfw I'm now the party disappointment>>59306I...
You...
WHAT
>>59307Just meme Gandalf or someone to fight for you and do cool stuff and cast the spells you want
>>59307Not disappoint, just,... disappoint Xp
Seriously, I had hoped that giving Torc clerical spells (again, cuz lots of specific spells - Airwalk for example - should be cross-class spells) would be of benefit
>>59302Yeah, you should've taken Divine Might a while ago..
I only never bothered with it because Tracy's Char is so low.
>Sacred ShieldWhat's that?
Is there a profane equivalent?
>>59308………………
I am of confusion
>>59309I just wasn't enjoying the whole gimick, it was fun at first, but then it just kinda drug on.
>>59311Say what you will, but that "Oh lawd Jesus" post was one of the finest moment of game desu. Still we can re-work it if it is preferrable
>>59312Uh... what bread was that?
>>59313Oh, like I know off hand, I don't even remember the context. You do realize we account for about 57k of the 59k posts on this board?
>>59313>>59312>>59314This one?
>>8492 →Please be patient. I have autism.
>>59315This one as well...>>9469 →
Stix feels around his cloak for his dagger and remembers it was thrown in battle with Thez.
>>59315Precisely that one
>4 digitsWere we ever so young?
>>59319Can we cite SRD sourcebooks?
I've had my eye on Arterial Strike.
>>59317Its still stuck in the support-beams of the port walls. Don't worry tho, mundane daggers are a dime a dozen and easily replaceable (ask Tracy Xp)
>>59320Nigger, you've already asked for gibs tonight
>>59321Not to Stix. That one his sentimental to him.
>>59319Oh no. Its a seriously exhaustive manual.
>RIP my spare time>>59323Noted. The dagger in question is unmoved, for precisely the same reason
>>59322>>59319I want Divine Vigor, if we can take stuff from that book.
>>59325Fuck off
>>59324Tracy's faggot insists Divine Might is SRD
>>59323>Stix Dagger's are specialTracy lost
all of her weapons, including her "dark" and "edgy" knives when she handed them over to the security at Cardishore five months ago
>>59326It is.
I noticed that feats are introduced by sourcebooks, but the feats that were considered to be balanced made it into the 3.5 SRD.
Divine Might is worth training for.
>>59327*desire to retrieve daggers intensifies*
It looks like Infernius's faggot won't be returning tonight, so I'll be in bed soon.
>>59327And who's fault was that?
>>59269Amist all the,... contention, Thez sits relatively before Stix, sipping "gently" from a glass of clear liquid, and wondering about how to proceed.
"So,... do you,... regret,... killing,...."
>>59329"Just wait for me, girls..." Tracy says under her breath
In my defense, I didn't expect to get teleported in the middle of security.
>>59331“Myself? That’s the funny thing. I remember right before I did it thinking that it must be done. Like I was doing everyone a favor by doing it. I partially wish I didnt, but I don’t know if it was avoidable.”
>>59330Infernius entered the discord just now
Welp, found an old post of mine that will always be relevant
>>6560 →In the meantime, I'm hoping Torc and Snek arrive before they kill eachother
>>59332No response to >>59184? Okay...
>>59335I’m hoping they arrive so Stix can properly meet them. Torc only got a couple of phrases out before Stix when after Tracy... and left him.
>>59338Yeah, should be good...
Sorry about leaving you
[3d20 = 30]
Kill all metalniggers!
>>59331What was the fate of Trumpaladin's parting gift to the 5 shazbots?
>>59340But your not sorry for leaving me.
>>59344No not really, now realize how Thez feels
>>59333Checked
>>59345Ooooh, sting
>>59345Shes the most powerful, so she watches the city.
Alright. Where we last left off, Infernius was getting set on fire. I rolled a 6d20 for his saves, but I'll allow his player to make the roll, and weigh the results against my rolls.
>>59353Oooh, a 20 AND a 1
[6d20 = 68]>>59353Rolling
>>59355Wait, why is Trump rolling?
Trump successfully escaped, he doesn't need to roll.
[6d20 = 55]>>59356To compare dice rolls with Infernius
Rolling
>>59357>A substantially shittier set of dice rolls than Infernius
>>59358Yes, most impressive
Can I get a quick rundown on what would've happened since Infernius's faggot returned? Tracy's next course of action will depend on what happened to Infernius.
>>59362I should've communicated my plans.. I hadn't expected Infernius or Fae to be seen ahead of time..
Fukkin daylight savings time
>>59364Kek, it's been throwing me off all day.
*reaches out with mind looking for knives*
>>59366I picture it looking a bit darker when Tracy wants to find her instruments of death.
>>59367kek, that's exactly how I'd imagine it.
"Are you going to Scarborough fair....
parsely, sage, rosemary and thyme....
Re-member me, to one who lives there
She, once was, a true love of mine..."
>>59369My favorite part of the song is:
Tell her to find me an acre of land
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Between the salt water and the sea strand
Then she’ll be a true love of mine
>>59370"Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather
Parsley sage rosemary and thyme
And gather it all in a bunch of heather
Then she'll be a true love of mine"
>>59371I am looking up the lyrics, but I can’t find this one part I swear I remember where the woman, knowing it is impossible, trys the things in the song anyway, and regains the love of the singer... maybe someone made that part up for a happy ending to the tune?
>>59367That's pretty much exactly what she looks like beneath her disguise btw.
>>59372It's not in Simon and Garfunkel's version of the song, that I can tell you
Will we be able to play again tonight?
>>59376Sad stick noises... which is just silence if you think about it.
>>59375I'm planning for it. I'm headed out for some errands with Lenos' fgt for the next few hours, but ~5p (pst) I'll be here for the duration. Apologies for last night, I got way drunk waiting for INfernius to return (nobully), but there's several reasons I didn't advance the story cuz there's elements that the party in general and Infernius in particular are unaware of.
>>59379I'll see if I can keep up
>>59383>ImageTake a guess
>>59384Pic unrelated, besides I know urs
[14d8 = 74]
Alright. When we last left off, Infernius got hit by 2 breath weapons, but he also got 20s for 2 of 'em, so I'll call that 1/2 damage.
>>59390Aw come on you know thez pine is best.
>>59391I meant, that hit really hurt. Infernius needs to roll a fortitude save
>>59393Meh, i like my thing better.
>>59383>ImageTake a guess
>>59395Damnit he probably passed
>>59389Um.... Do shazbots die from grenades?
>>59396Why did it include my previous message?
>>59395Damn, alright. Next up is That Bitch, who spends her entire round shouting into the phone.
>>59397Doubtful, grenades do 5d6 damage. Trump dropped them overhead during his escape yes?
>>59396*dabs*
>about to ask when i go>remembers i rolled a 2
>>59395Shit.
Was that a roll for Death by Massive Damage?
best way to kill
>>59402That roll was to stop my death.
>>59402Why yes it was
Whoops, Fae actually goes before That Bitch, and being as though she's in charge of transit, that is the moment that she breaks away into the air, with Trump atop. Trump will still be able to grenade them, but he goes last cuz >1 initiative
>>59404Wait brad got a 1?
Top kek
>>59404First question, what is the damage roll on the flames and what is the save DC?
>>5940614d8 (it shows if you hover over the e-mail field) and,... hold on I forget.
>>59407I cant hover over the email field on mobile....
>>59407I can't do that on mobile. I can't read spoilered text either. I used to view the post with the edit feature but I can't do that anymore
>>59408fair point. I don't recall the saving throw desu, I never bothered to write it down, and its a custom creature (mine) so I wanna say it was 22, but I was pretty wasted so idk
>>59410Reee then Trump made all of his saving throws
>>59410I prefer to keep it ambiguous anyway, since the characters have no way of knowing meta numbers.
How could you even dodge flames coming at you from every direction?
>>59413Stop drop and roll.
>>59412They know that some flame jets are harder to dodge
>>59413By the grace of Elway
>>59391I was asked to make this.
pine Thez
>>59413Good reflex roll
Also, have a character sheet for some reason
Mainly for GM
Also, can you be flanked with Breath weapons?
Is there still a crowd present in the area?
>>59410Hey gm how can i get ranks in perform?
>>59417>pinochet hat>sunglasseskek
>>59418Not technically, its not an attack roll. I could see applying penalties, but I didn't in this case.
>>59421Practice/training from a suitably skilled performer, or levels.
>>59422>Practice/training from a suitably skilled performerIf only i knew a performer
>>59422If Trump can make most of his saving throws, that changes things
[1d20+21 = 23]>>59420Rolling to take another card from anyone nearby.
Can Torc and Snek arrive at the tower now?
If Trump isn't losing half of his health in a round...
Fae: Pounce bot
>>59429Just in case.
Also, I'm bored.
>>59427Yes. THey arrive and Thez is (I think) talking to Stix?
>>59431Why not do something productive like use the 60 foot chain and improved sunder to destroy the nozzles on the bots?
>>59432Kek
Snek slams open the door
>"Terrible trip, wouldn't do again""Good, Next time I won't bring you. Hey Thez, hey Stix"
>>59434“Hello again. Where have you been off to?”
"Trump you fucking coward!!!"
>>59435"Getting a new cannon while this fucker" Torc kicks Snek "wanted to eat the gnomes selling it to me"
[1d20+31 = 40]
Sunder the nozzle of the shazbot Fae has placed Trumpaladin near
>>59437“Sounds like a grand adventure. What are your plans now?”
>>59439"Well Solvania sent me some plans about a exploding trebuchet shot or something, so.I was thinking about checking that out.
Have you met Slovania yet?"
>>59437"That's silly. Find an obscure gnome tha't's into knitting or something for that, never one you'll need."
>>59436"Target the flame throwing nozzles of the Robits"
>>59440“Oh yeah. I saw that trebuchet thing when I met her. I got to try building one of those things sometime.”
>>59433That would only reveal her position, and Idk what kind of attack bonus these guys have.
>>59441>"Damn, can she help me get a gnome to eat?">>59444Check'd
"They are pretty cool. In the meantime, what have you guys been up too?"
>>59446“Well... a bit of a story on my part. I suppose I can give you the fast version if you want.”
>>59446Did Torc ever read that scroll Tracy gave him?
[1d20+23 = 29]
Rolling to steal another identity.
Forgot to add synergy last couple times.
>>59447"Eh, why not. Lemme hear it."
>>59448Uh, kinda
>>59449Will Tracy ever have enough IDs?
>>59449You only get one turn per round you kike
>>59443Not true, Trump goes last
>>59449stahp, Tracy can only manage to swipe 4 of them before the remaining crowd literally has their phone in hand.
>>59450“Let’s see... I found a ton of evil creatures in a tree. Tracy was bit by a rock. I found a talking squirrel in a grove. I got a big acorn. And I met Thez here... but not before I thought she was attacking the port.”
>>59453Tracy pockets snacks that people dropped during the party.
>>59454"Sounds intresting"
>>59455Things, got it
>>59454"
He's afraid of fire," Thez whispers overloud to Torcuil.
Shhhhhhhhh
>>59455It’s always one more..
Your never satisfied!
https://youtu.be/OxHAN6JIkNo>>59456“Not as interesting as gnomes I bet.... what are gnomes by the way?”
>>59457“Hey! It is a perfectly normal fear out of all the things most are afraid of irrationally.”
>>59458"Its not a criticism, I just figure that since he's the magic guy he should know. By the way, doesn't I'nis' sword catch fire sometimes? Probably better mention to him too,... still haven't figured out what to do about Lenos yet tho." she says holding her chin.
>>59457*whispering* "noted"
>>59458"Small humeniod creatures thattalkreallyfuckingfast. Really good at engineering though"
>>59460"Careful, they sometimes explode," Thez chuckles.
How many bots are surrounding That Bitch?
"In fact, if you let snek eat one and then turn him into a staff, all you'd have to do is set off an explosion and say that the gnome exploded."
>>59463It'd suck if one exploded inside Snek though.
>>59462None, but since Trump isn't escaping the arial bots she's calling in are proceeding in through the roof.
>>59459Given that Infernius is not running, and given that the situation on the ground is a bit different than previously estimated. Accordingly, these are my actions:
>>59438 >>59430 >>59428
>>59460“Huh... so, I remember you have this... meme magic. Think a pony like me could learn something like that?”
>>59461"They WHAT?!"
>>59463"Stahp giving him ideas"
>"let the woman speak"
>>59465Tracy silently inches closer towards That Bitch.
"And incidentally, is Snek on file in the Entertron? I mean I know he's a magical creature, but I don't see why it wouldn't work,"
>>59470Items can be repaired at half the price it took to create them, right?
>>59471Yes but this would be more for situations like if the mummy room was set on fire, which I was certain would happen but somehow didn't
If you want an idea of what it is like to wake up in the Entertron, refer to Gantz
>>59467"I could maybe teach you a few spells"
>>59470"Yeah, he's not so lets do that"
I take it if Snek dies he'll be a staff?
>>59472Kefka underestimated our party's ADD.
>>59474He turns into a staff, and cannot be activated again for three days.
>>59476That's not what I meant...
He may need a gnome or two when ever it happens though
*plays a generic Fashwave song*
>>59476this
>>59475Very much so. He finds the party curious. He's not sure if he wants to blow them up or let themselves blow up and watch.
K, so Tracy is closing on That Bitch, but low key; bluff check.
I think its now Infernius' turn
[3d20 = 29]>>59480"Burn"
*full round attack
>>59481Y U never cast spells?
>>59484He'd make a better Barbarian.
>>59484Infernuis is a hitlerist.
>>59481Not in range, they're maintaining a distance of 25 yards.
>>59487Summon a monster.
Like a water elemental.
>>59488*casts earthquake*
"Fucking robots REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ME AM GONNA KILL ALL OF THESE FUCKERS THEN ME AM GONNA RUN YOU THROUGH WITH MY ZWEIHANDER YOU RACEMIXING WHORE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>59492>inb4 all of the mailboxes helplessly fall over
While the red bull messes up the place, Tracy uses the distraction to discreetly inch closer to That Bitch, until she's withing ~30 ft.
In her turn of course.
>>59492Good move, but that leaves everyone in that area immobile
>>59494Uhm, did you not notice the earthquake?
Everyone roll a reflex save, modified preferred - its dex
[1d20+19 = 21]>>59497Rollin'
>>59502You know what... I deserve that
>>59501You roll too, fgt!
[1d20+12 = 29]
[1d20+18 = 29]
Fucking rolling!
>>59504Im not attacking you, i just think its kinda strange you get so many 2s
>>59498Not yet you're not
Uhm, how r u getting these modifiers? Feats/synergies?
>>59506I'm just frustrated.
And here I was doing so well, stealing IDs for everyone...
>>59508My roll is just Tracy's normal reflex + dex + char
[11d20 = 125]
Well, it looks like only Infernius falls over from the spell. Additionally,
3 of the shazbots fall over.
In addition to that, everyone roll a d100 regardless of saving throw
>>59512Is That Bitch, in range of the spell?
[1d100 = 49]>>59513Bloody hell!
>>59518Don't be a bitch.
Take your first roll.
[2d20 = 17]
Alright. Everyone who got 25 or less gets to roll another reflex save DC 20, to avoid falling into the fissures that have opened in the ground.
[1d20 = 20]>>59524Heil hitler!
>>59525Maybe Hitler really is a deity...
>>59525>Bright glowing hand manifests in the air to catch Infernius before he falls to the center of the earth.
[1d20 = 3]>>59528Oh shit rolling to save brad!
>>59528>Not praising Elway on your roll
[2d20 = 30]>>59528XD
>>59530U can't do that
[internal pony screaming]
>>59529Wait, is it Trump or Fae who failed?
GM, do you believe in the hollow earth theory by any chance?
>>59535Can Fae roll a reflex save to grab Trunpaladin?
It looks like I won't be the only one to lose all of his stuff in this city...
>>59539Why would she? Where is this idea of magical wish-rolls coming from?
>>59541To many action movies i guess
Welp, it looks like Trump and one of the shazbots fall in, and since everyone is immobile (not flying) no one can prevent them from being crushed to death as the fissure closes.
Trump summarily wakes up in the Entertron.
But he's still hungry
>>59541She's immediately next to him, so she could try to catch him with her mouth
>>59544Oof
"Brad!!!!! Nooo!!"
*cries*
>>59544"YEE BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!" emanates from the center of the earth...Poor Vadereim... He didn't deserve such a cruel fate...Tracy bottom jaw drops to the floor, and she promptly gtfo's the area.
>>59544There's not like another level of city beneath the top?
>>59546Tracy makes a silent oath to convert Infernius into sausages.
>>59550He wouldnt fight her
>>59549not under the park, no
Tracy ditches the retarded bull, and makes a break for the perimeter, stealthily, deciding that her precious knives can wait, while she goes to the Entertron to console her husband.
>>59551Ya' done fucked up!
>>59553Lesson learned never trust tracy
>>59553Hmm... I can see a battle against the whole party forming. Tracy attacks/kills Infernius, Thez domes the same to Tracy... maybe
>>59479 was right...
So no reflex roll for Fae?
>>59556Nope. And come to think of it, he probably wouldn't wake up in the entertron, cuz his body wouldn't be completely destroyed, he'd just be crushed to death and somewhere deep in the ground.
>>59557Is the fissure still open?
>>59558No, it closes up immediately as the earthquake ceases
>>59554She has bigger priorities, like seeing if her husband still exists.
Tracy makes her way to the perimeter, slashes an X in the wall, and hightails it out of the city.
>>59556I'm fucking sorry, m8...
>>59558Warn us next time you're about to cast a deadly AoE spell.
Personally, I would prefer that not be the outcome, but I fail to see how it could be otherwise, given the spell description
It is tragically comedic tho XDDDD
>>59563It set a record for epic fuck-ups...
Tracy runs home to see if her husband will be there.
Infernius, ur gonna' craft Brad a new set of stuff.
>>59563Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
It wasnt supoosed to be this way!
Can Tracy fast-travel back to the tower while Infernius fends for huimself? She makes a bee-line for the Entertron
>>59567*galloping pony noises*
>'Flashy... Flashy..! FLASHY!!?'
>>59566He lost the cute ring with the lil' horse jumping over the blue gem that Tracy gave him...
I can feel Brad's reeling from here, and I just wanna say I feel it too, m8.
Tracy runs all the way home
[worried pony noises]
>>59571The ground fucking swallowed him up in seconds and he fell to the center of the earth.
Tbh I'm contemplating tweaking how the Entertron works, that it activates whenever the player dies, rather than when their body is destroyed.
>>59572Not to the center, but think Indiana Jones, Last Crusade ending
>>59572No shit, after that.
>>59573How about players can force the machine to activate on another’s death, and it only automatically activates on body destruction?
What happened to That Bitch? She didn't fall over?
I was going to assassinate her and take her card, but then shit happened.
>>59575Well it
would be Trump's turn,....
I guess that makes it the shazbots turn. With Trump no longer an issue, the 10 that remain center around Infernius and douse him with flame. Roll 10d20
>>59578Deus vult!
Sieg heil!
I guess Tracy should stay...
>>59584To sweep up Infernius's ashes and maybe salvage some stuff..
>>59577She wasn't in the earthquake area, she took off and isn't visible.
>>59581That's 4 fails, maybe more. You know what I'm gonna say right?
>>59586Bring it nigger i got hp and regen.
>>59587Okay, well first off what's his modifier for reflex?
>>59576Maybe we can fight zombie versions of ourselves some day.
[84d8 = 362]>>59591And his dex is shit,... so let me rephrase. 7 of them land. He got a 20, so I'll have 1 miss, but he got hit by 6 of them. 6 x 14d8
>>59592I could see an interesting scenario where a villain captures the tower and makes clones of us, most are zombies, but the “boss” fight would be actual, fully functional clones to fight
Well fuck.
That was an epic failure of a session.
I literally can't even..!]
Goodnight fellas'.
Sorry, Brad's faggot...
Tracy will let him use anything she has, if it's any compensation.
Sorrt brad. I didnt want it to be like this.
>>59601So here's the thing. Yes, the ring of regeneration would sustain Infernius,... right up until his corpse was stripped of its equipment, especially when it ceased to die entirely in spite of ridiculous damage. So he would die, upon the ring being taken. There will be more consequences, but for now - as I said would happen - Infernius wakes up in the Entertron.
And he's still hungry
... it was inevitable anyhow, since the eds were gonna show up in pretty soon.
>>59602"REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Tracy has never felt so glad to be a Rogue, but also never felt so helplessly ashamed at being unable to protect anyone...
*Goes to bed for real this time*
>>59604Oh, you've only just begun to reeeee
>>59606*walks to mess hall*
>>59607As he makes his way there, he passes Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez, who's eyes widen alarmingly at his entrance
>>59609"Fug," says Thez.
Meanwhile, back at the park. As a few of the Cardishore administration begin removing items from Infernius' should-be corpse, ultimately removing the ring (but not the sleeves, cuz they don't just "come off") a very curious thing happens. For one, Infernius' entire body is enveloped by the sleeves, the mouths elongating and distoring to consume the entirety of his body, meeting ultimately at his chest, and partially burrowing into his skin, forming a golden yin-yang looking symbol. His entire body now covered with that shiny-black skin, and his eyes replaced by glowing red lights, not-infernius slowly climbs to its feet.
>>59610"Me sense a disturbance in the force."
Fug!
>>59608He's normally neked anyway.
*Revs-up sausage grinder*
>for once Torc wasn't the one that died
Think a well-worded Wish or Miracle could retrieve just Vadereim at least?
>>59615It might send Infernius back a level tho
>>59615Vandereim isn't dead, he's just buried
>>59617I was just wondering, since that spell can do shit like part the red seas, or safely transfer an entire party to another plane, or reverse an erupting volcano, that it could maybe, with appropriate sacrifice, retrieve a single object from underground, if the caster prayed hard enough to his deity.
>>59618It could work in theory, but his first step would be to replace his holy symbol
>>59618The rest of Brad's stuff racked-up an enormous value altogether (tfw no insurance), but Vadereim is irreplaceable..
>>59619The first step is the sausage party.Tracy runs home.
>>59620You do realize that Tracy will be next for the sausage party,....
>>59621I guess so..
I just thought of the image of Infernius slowly sinking into a giant sausage machine while he heils sadly and plopping out dozens of cartoonish Sausage-Infernius' on the bottom end of the machine to be grimly amusing in this situation..
*abandons shoop in progress*
>>59612*hugs back*
"Whatever did you do this time?"
>>59622>abandonsBut y? I've got a mental image of the party pushing eachother into a sausage grinder, reforming in the entertron, and getting back in line to push eachother into the sausage grinder some more.
>>59623Aaaand I just closed the tab...
What a shame.
Might do it again after the group dialogue..
I think Brad is still mourning his loot..
>>59624Oh he'll get it back, he just needs to not go Leeroy Jenkins. Not that that was precisely what killed him, but it certainly set everything in motion.
Gawd I was dying laughing when it happened tho
It's not all Infernius's fault though.
I should've done something to help them escape before that even happened, but I just watched thinking that Tracy would die before the mailboxes..
Idk what happened to Fae, but her chances of surviving/escaping on her own would've been nil, even if Tracy helped her out..
>>59626Yeah, I did kinda pause the progress cuz of shock, but her odds of escape aren't too good
>>59625It was quite the epic-tier fuck up.
>PCs get near party>Realize they'll die without ID cards>Rogue tries to get everyone cards>Neglects to tell anyone about it (sorry)>Infernius crashes party in vibrant display>Chaos ensues>Drama queen stampede>Terminators close in>Flamethrowers throw>Brad jumps in to save the day>Oh shit>Brad tries to escape on Fae in the air>Comes back figuring he could take out the bots and save Infernius>Infernius has an idea>Bull casts powerful AoE spell>Does minimal damage to the enemy and kills an ally>Bull is turned to ashes in next turn>Infiltration plan scrapped by remaining PC>Two PCs worth of loot lostYep, that's an academic record alright.
>>59628The spell would have been great against creatures, but the bots get a racial bonus to avoid falling because of their design (they roll around on wheels, and their weight and center of balance makes them easy to keep upright). One of the bots did get squished, (I suppose a case could be made that it might be intact,... something to keep in mind when retrieving stuff) but yeah that was something else
Next time I go to Cardishore, imma enter legally and leave all my shit back at the tower.
>>59630Tracy has 4 IDs tho
>>59630Other than trying to find knives, what was the party doing there? I’m still a little unclear on that part.
>>59631I kind of wanna see if "T. Sentry" is still on file at the baggage claim...
>>59632Tracy just wanted her meme-knives back. Brad was investigating. Infernius... Idk..
Think gnomes would make for good payloads for Slovenia's trebuchet?
>>59634Noted for future reference
>>59628I can't even post the "It's called splash damage, suck it up or whine to the cleric"
because it was the fucking cleric
>>59629If the mailboxes are shaped like how I imagine them, they seem like they'd be helpless if they ever did get pushed over.
But seriously, since when do gnomes explode?
>>59639Since GM decided it was funny.
>>59638Would they have any way of pushing back if someone were to push them over from the side, or would it just be like cow-tipping?
>>59639Well, it began with Farzalington, the Gnome that Trump met back when first visiting Krenshall, and I decided that would be a recurring theme.
>>59642Probably like cow-tipping desu, they're pretty damn heavy and aren't fitted with appendages to right themselves with
>>59636I'll take that as a no...
>>59644Shit, I really want those meme-knives..
If you want to get thorough, it was inspired by my frustration with having to write out in gnome-speak. It suddenly occurred to me that I could effectively end the dialogue if Farzalington happened to have crafted a James Bond esque grenade pen, and for stylization I opted for Farzalington to start talking shit about GM which resulted in the pen malfunctioning and exploding.
>>59645The meme knives are still there, and there are a number of possible avenues to getting them.
Leeroy Jenkins is not one of them.
>>59639>>59646I like this idea better
>>59646I'll get them some day...
As she runs towards the port, Tracy turns her head to glance back at the Starting-Equipment-Devouring city, and silently swears a vow vengeance on that wretched land.
>>59647Well they don't
all have Bond pens, but they do all have something that in certain circumstances can explode
>>59647They're not Muslims.
>>59650The Asians do this on occasion. In WWII the Japanese planned to use bomb vests for civilians to die with honor if they were captured during the land invasion the US was considering
>>59651>HonorIt's no fun if there's a reason to it: that's not random enough.
>>59653Now that is a great picture
I think this is my cue to get off.
If I stop to think about it, there is much to say about the event itself. Of course Infernius cast the Earthquake. But that was only because GM, who entirely forgot about distance when the robots had to move from their positions dispersed along the edges of a park presumably as large as the National Mall and all gather together in the same location and could make a full attack the same round, suddenly remembered distance when Infernius's Faggot wanted to engage in melee. The situation never would have happened if Tracy's faggot had stayed with the group rather than wondering off. Or would have communicated something - anything. Or if Infernius hadn't insisted on provoking a fight. And then of course why the hell could Fae not try to grab Trumpaladin if he was riding her? And why the hell couldn't we go with the play through I tried to make in saturday. But maybe it's my fault for making two dice rolls for what should have been one. But whatever. There's nothing to be gained by resentment and arguing any more.
I was dreading that session in the way I dread a lot of sessions. It's not fun any more, it feels like an arms race. With all equipment gained over the past six months gone, it's definitely not worth proceeding.
>>59655Well... sorry to hear that. I was looking forward to playing along side you when you got back... oh well. Have fun sulking, I guess.
>>59655>Implying this isn't the perfect opportunity for GM to make a dungeon out of the depths of the earth for us to grind and get your gear back
>>59655I could answer essentially every one of your points, but would it be moot?
>>59657I can think of a couple reasons Trump could still be alive if you want to get technical, and considering the spellcaster level of the party, its really not that difficult to go about getting the stuff back (Infernius' will be more difficult) but idk
To be quite honest, aside from Torcuil turning into a pile of sand, this is the first time that character actions have resulted in any serious consequences in spite of numerous opportunities for things to have gone differently. For example, when Torcuil used the Magneto rod on Death, the scythe should have gotten a will save using Death's stats, but it was funnier to just let it play out. The whole point of the game is to have fun and to be creative, such that it is enjoyable for yourself and for others. If its not, then I don't know what to say.
And I did literally post that the choices that Infernius and Trump were making would likely result in them waking up in the entertron without all their stuff. Blatantly.
>>59659You shouldn’t have to say anything. You have been doing a wonderful job. One that I guess Trump can appreciate right now. You keep up the good work GM.
>>59655>if Tracy's faggot had stayed with the group rather than wondering offI'll say right now that I fucked up big time...
What I meant to do was proceed ahead of the group in stealth to figure out what was going on. Once I got there, I had intended to steal some IDs and distribute them to the party, but I dropped the ball on communication and just watched Brad and Infernius step in before I did that...
>it feels like an arms raceIt's never felt that way to me. I just want things, not just to get an advantage over other: it's not a PvP game.
>With all equipment gained over the past six months gone, it's definitely not worth proceeding.Oh don't be that way. Your stuff isn't gone for good, just in a hard place to reach.
There's always more to be gained too. It's not about what you have, it's about what you can get
(says the thief).
I get it if you wanna take a break though.. I'd be pissed if I were in your position...
>>59660It's not the first time we got close to losing our stuff too. That mummy room could've exploded us, and the last room in the temple definitely would've.
>>59655[consoling pony noises]
>>59663The mummy room wasn't planned, and tbh neither was the self-destructing octahedron. It was a trap, but it was going to be vs spell-casters rather than just <smite> ur dead. I change lots of things on the fly due to sudden inspiration.
I want a dungeon, and maybe this time we won't fucking split the party.
By unplanned, I mean the dust was originally just to conceal the coffins, but when I thought about it from a combustable dust standpoint, I realized it would be a veritable powder keg. The End room of the temple was going to introduce 7 dominant factions that control the rest of the world, outside the empire - which is the largest geographical nation but still a minority by planetary surface. There would be hints and foreshadowing and all sorts of teasers, but suddenly I felt like removing it and transitioning the story in a different manner.
>>59666Yes, satan
>>59667My Satan trips demand a dungeon that starts out like a normal cave, but descends deeper into a hell-scape. The entrance can be the fissures.
>>59666Trips confirm...
I promise not to wander off again...
I guess it's settled then, if GM wants help I'll make maps.
I guess we need to get Stix some gear, plus give Infernius and Trump some temporary replacements.
>>59670We still have that set of Full plate for Brad, and Tracy would let him use her sword.
>>59670Stix has that double-ended banesword for a weapon. He could use some armor though.
>>59672Something that doesn’t catch fire easily I hope
>>59673Rangers' combat style works best when they're wearing light armor or no armor, so we could set him up with some studded leather or chain-shirt.
Was this thread deleted just a few moments ago?
>>59676Trump hit the wrong button
Anyway, leather would be good for Stix
>>59677>hit the wrong buttonpic
Whatever, so long as it's still here..
>>59646Earthquake only has an 80 foot radius. It's a "highly localized spell." It shouldn't have affected Trump at all
>>59679...
Shit he's got a point
How big was the stage/plaza? Maybe they were outside of the AoE and only the bots got targeted.
>>59679I kind of figured everyone was at this point. The bots would have maintained a 75' perimeter around both. Are they near each other or not?
>>59682If the bots are in a circle that is almost as wide in radius as the radius of the spell, then clearly they would need to be at least 150 feet from each other or else the circles would over lap and bots would be on top of each other
>>59683I was envisioning a park sort of like the National Mall in Washington DC. Not the entire thing, but a square or rectangle of it, as big as the square which contains the Washington Monument at the largest or as small as the rectangles at the center of the Museum district. That's a square with a diameter perhaps as large as one half mile, and at least 1000 feet across. The bots were stated as occupying the perimeter, presumably almost evenly spaced apart from each other. The idea was, as soon as Infernius exposed himself, to run to the perimeter and destroy the bots one by one using Fae's speed, and to do so before they could maneuver into a group
When did That Bitch get away?
>>59684The entire park, sure, but this would have occupied only a space of about ellipse road
>>59685During the earthquake. She has status, and doesn't need to wait in line
>>596861. That could have been specified or at least implied earlier
2. He's still not within 80 fucking feet of Infernius
>>59686Eclipse road is 1,800 feet in diameter, or 900 feet from the center to the perimeter. Now how the hell fast are these bots to close the distance to encircle
and attack in the same round?
>>59689And Earthquake still has a radius of 80 feet.
>>59687>>59690You're not gonna let me squish him are you >_<*
>>59692I want to know why distance is taken into account when Infernius wants to melee the enemy or when Tracy wants to be a bitch, but not when casting spells that have "a very localized effect" in the spell description, or when Trumpaladin tries to execute a plan (the only one available at the time) the crux of which is taking advantage of the distance between the bots's starting position
>>59695Because the robots don't run right up to a target, they have a ranged weapon, though incurring a saving throw rather than an attach roll. In this case I emphasized the range because he wouldn't have been able to full round attack, he's have to do a move action from which he could do a single attack to end the round. The bots have a base movement speed of 55
>>59695"an intense but highly localized tremor rips the ground"
80 ft radius centered on spell caster
That means the spell would have
barely affected the bots that were holding a circle 75 away from him. It absolutely would not have affected Trumpaladin, Fae, the bots near Trumpaladin, or Tracy.
>>59696A ranged weapon of 75 feet. Not 750 feet. The shazbots are "around the perimeter" according to
>>58964. If the park is approximately the size of the eclipse circle then it is ~900 radius with Infernius near the center. This means that the furthest ones would have taken 4 rounds to be within 75 feet of Infernius assuming they go 4 times 55 feet a round, and a varying number of rounds to reach Trumpaladin, since he started near the perimeter and only exposed himself to attack a bot that was near the permiter, leaving him a round away from probably two and a little further away for others.
>>5969580 ft circular spread is a really wide AoE for a spell; I can't even think of a non-epic spell with a wider radius. It's 'very localized' for an earthquake.
>when Tracy wants to be a bitchOh come on. There was nothing to be gained from being close to the center of action there as a rogue: she couldn't damage the enemy and didn't have the hit points to survive even one blast.
The reason I even got those shoes was so that she could escape combat scenarios and sneak back in at times of opportunity.
Believe it or not,
this wasn't set up against you; it's just fucking unfortunate.
We can get your stuff back over time; it's not lost. Can't we all just move forward?
Is one misfired spell really all it's going to take to destroy this party?
>>59698Fuck off
>It's a really wide radiusHe's not in that radius either way. It would be physically impossible for him to be in that radius, because there's a fucking ring of steel at 75 feet
>>59700Later
Save me from this hell
>>59699>Fuck offOh bite me. I hear that every day from you.
Why have you always got to be so antagonistic? Everyone in this party only want to have fun, and you take everything personally. I get you're upset, you have every right to be, but there's no need to be so hostile about it. We're only trying to help here.
>>59700Bye.
I g2g too.
>>59702Alright, I didn't really mean it that way, but I don't feel like deleting that post either. I'm just tired...
I gotta go do shit..
>>59702Because anon, everything is shit
*feeds birdies*
*feeds mimic*
*feeds orcs*
>>59705*lies down in front of tracy*
>>59706*looks down a bull, chin turned up*
"You fucked up."
>>59707"Get it over with"
Let's see, the last thing Torc was doing is getting Mr. Snek registered...
"Gah, wait. If you're here..
how'd you die?"
>"Tell him he looks like a burger"
"Mr. Snek wants you to know you look like a burger"
>>59709"Brad fell into earth, me got surrounded by robots and ashed"
I'm maintaining
>>59697. The entire logic behind everything was based on the common sense that the fairground was not tiny
>>59711Were you in melee range of the bots?
>>59712He used Fae to close the distance
>>59713Did he cast the spell on the bots or on himself?
The spell has 400 ft range.
>>59714The way Infernius would have been able to damage the most bra would have been to cast it on himself, because six boys were in a circle around him with a radius of 75 feet. The bots were split into two circles of 6 and 5 with radiuses of 75 feet
>>59715So you wouldn't be caught in it?
Did I ever end up using the star card? Cause I don't think so.
>>59710"Sounds fun..."
>>59717You did. You raised your Char to 20 i think.
*sniffs around entertron*
[worried pony noises]
"... Flashy..?"
*tears drop*
>>59717"No, it my fault he dead!"
>>59721"I never blamed you"
>>59720WASTED
Stix watches this in silent confusion.
[1d20 = 14]>>59724Torc slaps infernius
"PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER
>>59725"He fell into a crack!"
Yes, I'm going to write a fucking brief justifying the Leeroy Jenkins plan.
The Fairground is stated as being approximately 1800 feet in diameter, in presumably either a circular or square shape, and the bots are stated as being "mostly around the perimeter." The Bots are stated as having a movement speed of 55. This means they can move 220 feet in a round, maybe 275 feet if they have "run." And only 55 feet if they want to make a standard action. You know, like deploy a flame thrower. This means that it would take the bots four full rounds to come near enough to the center to be able to be within 75 of the center. 75 feet is the length of the flame. So if Infernius were in the center - assuming the stage is near the center, but a bit off, it would take four rounds before the bots got to him. And if Infernius were off center - let's say off center by 200 feet, it would take three turns for the nearest bots to get to him, and 5 turns for the furthest away bots to get to him. If some of the bots were not around the perimeter, and nearer the center - say, maybe there were by the stage - then these bots may have engaged Infernius after a single round, while others were three or four or five rounds away. Perhaps infernius could have killed or disabled these before the further away bots even approached.
Trumpaladin did not start in the center. He was nearer the perimeter because he was looking for the Cardishore equivalent of an Apple Store in the stalls. He spent a round at least running on Fae - speed 320 feet a round - and pounced on a bot, disabling it. The reason was obvious. He had to disable the bots, as he had no way of not confronting them eventually, and since Infernius was going to get himself killed, there was nothing else to do. Now, it must be understood that a circle with a diameter of 1800 feet has a radius of over 1 mile. Bots would be 470+ feet apart from each other on the perimeter if evenly spaced. As they near the center, the distance between bots decreases, but by the time Trumpaladin engages, probably only two bots would be within 220 feet of him, and able to engage in one round, with another two bots arriving on the round after that, and another one after that, or three rounds for 5 bots to close the range. Possibly more, but I am no good at Trigonometry. That's just the time to come close, not the time to also use a flame thrower
Now, the bots have more HP than Trumpaladin could possibly destroy in one round, especially with an AC that evidently is about 30. But Trumpaladin has a weapon specifically designed to damage objects that he never used before, and he has a feat he never used before to help with sundering. So he can sunder the flamethroing nozzles - with the help of Fae to close distance - essentially once per round, to disable the bots in that way. Trumpaladin also is built to the greatest extent possible to do well on saving throws. So it seems plausible that he could have dispatched 5 bots if they engaged at the rate it would take them to close the distance, rather than magically but not literally magically all closing the distance all at once.
>But the Lady was calling in reinforcements
The average police response time in the US in emergencies is 11 minutes. Cardishore is more technologically advanced, more secure, and smaller, so I think we can safely say they'd get there more quickly. But it would still take them a minute. 10 rounds. So Trumpaladin and Infernius could have dispatched most of the bots, and then opened smoke screen (trumpaladin has the flask), open a dimension gate, fly away, run away and hide in a house, or figured out something in the few rounds.
There is no fucking way at all that Earthquake could possibly have affected Trumpaladin or anyone not in Infernius's circle. It has a radius of 80 feet, and the distance from Infernius to the bots around him alone was 75 feet. There is no reason at all to believe that Trumpaladin and his 75 foot radius of bots overlapped
[1d20+31 = 32]>>59726B L U F F T I M E"No he didn't. If he did he would have died, and do you see him in the entertron?"
>>59727I'm not arguing or anything, but how do you know this much about the distance and proximity of things? It all seemed much closer together to me.
[20d1 = 20]>>59728FUCK THESE DICE
>>59730REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>59729GM says in
>>59686 that the fairgrounds are about the size of the area enclosed by Ellipse Road in the National Mall. Ellipse Road is a little more than one half kilometer in diameter
[1d20 = 11]>>59728Persuasion
"It is my fault! He must be stuck down there!"
[1d20+5 = 16]>>59733"Then we will find him, and make sure he's safe."
Rolling to calm Infernius
>>59734"Calmed bull noises*
>>59734“Need me to tag along?”
>>59735"There there Mr. McRib, we'll get this fixed."
>>59736"I was gonna drag you along anyway so I could meet you, so yes."
>>59737“Alright! Where are we headed?”
>>59738"Cardishit, I haven't been there since I third wheeled on Infernius and Thez's wedding."
>>59716Unless Infernius were intentionally trying to target Trumpaladin, there is no fucking way he would have been within the radius of the Earthquake
>>59739“Sounds lovely...” he remarks sarcastically
He gets up.
“I don’t suppose the road there passes by the port?”
>>59741"Oh yeah"
>>59742"Beautiful wedding, too much blood though. I think it does, we'd have to stop by the port anyway though."
[worried pony noises]
"... Flashy...?!"
>>59744"Tracy.... were gonna go try to get brad out of the ground we could use your help."
>>59744Torc hugs the sad poner
"We'll find him"
>>59745"... Really?"
>>59746"Reeeeeeeeee! Non-consensual hugs!"
>>59743“I would ask... but I suppose I don’t really want to know. Anywho, I left something by mistake there and I hope no thief stole it before I get the chance to get it back.”
>>59745“And perhaps while we are there we can get a shovel and pickaxe to aid our exploration for the missing fellow?”
>>59748"We murdered a lot of communists, but yeah we can swing by"
>>59747Torc hugs tighter
"Too bad, I'm violating your NAP"
>>59747>>59748"Yea we need tracy to go ghost"
[1d20 = 8]>>59749>NAP violatedYou asked for it
Stab of opportunity
nonlethal dagger
[1d20+9 = 15]>>59751Reflex Save
[1d20 = 17]>>59752>6+9NiceSnek takes over for Torc who has now been stabbed
>>59753“Yikes! Are you alright?”
Stix runs over to him.
>>59752You don't get Reflex saves for attack rolls, waif.
>>59754"Yeah, I'm used to it really"
>>59756“Ok... note to self: Tracy needs personal space.”
>>59757"Eh, at least it isn't my haggis"
>>59758“Again... probably don’t want to know.”
>>59759"Nope, you really don't. Shall we get going?"
>>59760“I’m ready. Lead the way my friend.”
Tracy's faggot, the porn thread fell off the front page, and we have guests over
>>59763Talk to the dev squad about a function to tell you where the duplicate file is if you post a pic that's already in the thread. Nobody ever contributes but me because I post all the new shit.
>>59764o7
You are the one building my collection
>that file already exists in this thread
Which one, dammit?!
It fucking sucks when you're using hotlinks.
>>59766I keep getting "Invalid Image"
>>59768yes>>59764>As soon as you post that, a dev posts porn in the porn thread
>>59770Are those birds considered exotic by chance?
>>59772They're Rocs: giant ass birds.
Tracy adopted them.
>>59773I was just wondering, because on of the ranger spell takes about needing a feather from exotic origin to make a wind wall... sounded interesting
>>59774I can’t spell today! Ugh!
>>59774Materials for your spells probably won't really be an issue, fyi, but it's good to explore/consider.
Tracy could use help with the grooming at times too.
Stix needs a pet tho.
Shilling for one of these things, or at least just a pup.
>>59777Trips demand a pet! How do I get one though? Are there pet shops in the port? Or do I tackle some in the wild and train them?
>>59778Patience. Trumpaladin received his business partner when Elway directed her to arrive from the plane of Football with a Kajit caravan at the city walls. Torcuil's scaly waifu was crafted from a piece of wood
>>59778Books say it's a 24 hour ritual to call a beast from the wild or other planes to be your companion. Or you could get one through story or any other way.
>>59779An animal companion isn't the same as a paladin's mount tho.
>>59777>>59782An adult would be kind of OP tho..
>>59779>scaly waifu>"Am I being sexualized without my consent? This is a clear violation of the NAP.""What'd you say Mr. Snek?"
>"nothing"
>>59784Well, snek is a staff, so yes he's being objectified. Is Snek a feminist now?
>>59785Nope, MRA
>"M'lady""Oh god"
"Tell her to gather three lilies of white
Yesterday holds memories in time —
To place at my headstone, beneath the moon's light
Then she'll be a true love of mine —
For ever she'll be the one true love of mine..."
>>59786>>59785SnekXbrad when?
>>59739I think your mistaking Cardashill with Durpistan
>>59778Yes actually, though the best pets come of weird inspiration and ti
mely dice rolls. I suppose trips might suffice tho
>>59789"Thez brad is stuck in a hole"
>>59789Interesting. You will have to tell me more about these timely rolls.
but I’m probably going to pass out any minute
>>59790"That doesn't explain why
you're emerging from the entertron," she replies, deadpan.
>>59791No worriies, as you will
>>59791A recent example is where Infernius wandered off looking for an animal to be adopted into the developing ranch idea. He rolled a 20 on his 'finding shit' roll, and ended up making friends with blink doge
>>59792"Me got burned to death by robots in cardishore"
Yes, I can hold out forever
>>59795Infernius lost track of him around the time he made his 'spectacular entrance'.
>>59796Yes, yes, we're getting to that.
There's a fair case to be made that the ruling on the whole "Earthquake and whoops Trump got squished" bit. For one, Infernius has neglected to realize that since Trump (would have) been kill before him, that Trump would then be in the Entertron. I know I bear overwhelming blame in not addressing that, but Infernius was right there and though Trump was unresponsive at the time his character would still have been present. Because of how it was minimally described, the outcome of Trump is not determined, and could be expressed along a spectrum
>>59794"I let you run off without me one time,
one time, and you're waltzing out of the entertron,"
"It'll be fine" he said," she pantomimes
>>59798"Me was surrounded by 10 robots with flamethrowers"
>>59797If Trumpaladin is not killed in an earthquake, then neither are there 10 robots facing Infernius - only six minus those that get tipped over. He wouldn't have died (as quickly)
>>59799"Boy, its a good thing I stayed behind, we had a dramatic venture of me attacking the city cuz me and they were bored. I'm so glad you got to get murdered," she says, very deadpan.
>>59801"Come on baby, me sorry but you, addy, and the towns saftey is more important than me."
>>59802"Says the bull that just gave form to a pestilential demon,"
>>59788You mean
MR. Snek? Never
>>59806I guess we are not going on the mission after all. Oh well.
>>59807No no, this is a different story.
The mission is still on
>>59808But if Trump isn’t stuck in rock anymore, then there is no quest to get him out.
>>59809Oh
Can't Trump have stayed on the surface, albeit missing a Chunk of health?
>>59810GM makes it sound as if he isn’t dead yet, but is about to, which Trump is not happy about. He did say several times in the discord he was not rolling with it.
[20d20 = 202]>>59811Not rolling with it ey?
>>59800There's still a lot of robots though, and "hundreds" more pouring in through the roof.
>>59813Is it raining robots?
>>59795Go look for your other dog.
>>59777Brachyurus is best pupper.
>>59821There was a shill? I always miss the best posts. ;_;
>>59825This.
Sometimes I miss the rampant faggotry..
*Feeds mimic pastrami sandwich*
>>59825It was undine poster.
>>59828Fucking hell.
That faggot already left at least five of his abhorrent threads on /sp/.
>>59828It was Zald with his fucking undertale lesbian fish
>>59830I thought zald didnt reply to people?
>>59832That undertale lesbian fish thing is his avatar now basically. He historically would respond to posts but would not link them (maybe he's posting from a safari browser on his phone?)
*brushes birds to keep them free of parasites and sores*
*Takes them to hop around the holodeck*
>>59834*mammoth-sized chicks hop around the virtual park*
<CHEEP!><CHEEP?><CHEEP!><CHEEP!>
>>59835*fluffiness intensifies*
I can no longer access Discord...
>>59837GM is going to work, so you didn't miss anything. Except that Hitler commands Infernius "to fix thy own fuck ups"
>>59840*Cheeks grow flushed as she watches the birds hop and tumble about the place*
>>59840Especially since its that time of year, my local supply store has basins full of cheep-cheep
>>59842If Trumpaladin can proceed with his turn as he would have, then it is
Fae: Standard Action, cats obscuring mist. Move action, move the 75 feet to one of the robots
Trumpaladin: As I tried to do in
>>59438. Except if he can use Divine Might (his racial bonus feat has never been specified), then add that
>>59843Unless Sanctuary is effective against the flamethrowers. Then she casts sanctuary on self
If we're moving back several rounds, can Tracy attempt to snipe That Bitch before she gets to the gate?
>>59842Chicks are cute.
[CHEEP-CHEEP?]
[CHEEP!]
I gotta Level-up so Tracy can summon her special cohort..
>>59845Tracy creeps up to get within ~30 feet of her.
>>59845Was she within 60 feet?
>>59847Well, Trumpaladin is facing 5 DC 10 monsters all by himself, has already killed two of the things
by himself
>>59849>W/n 60 ftShe was hiding in the crowd as they moved away from the action.
>>59852They're monsters GM made up tho. How'd you determine that?
>>59853Well, let's see
The DC on the flame thrower is allegedly 22. That's the same as a Juvenile Red Dragon. The AC seems to be about 30, which is similar to an Old Red Dragon CR 20 or that Mummy Lord CR 15. They have a weak point (the Nozzle) which takes the CR down, but they seem to have an HP higher than 100, which is normal for most CR8+ monsters. The damage on the breath weapons is allegedly 14d8, although I think GM is mistaking a time he rolled for two of them, so maybe 7d8. 14d8 is similar to the 12d10 of an Adult Red Dragon CR15, and 7d8 is similar to a Young Red Dragon CR7. However, a Dragon can only use the weapon once per every few rounds. Like every 4 rounds or whatever, while these things can use it every single round. So these things are a hell of a lot more dangerous than a normal red dragon, at least to a warrior.
So these things are probably like CR10 to CR15, hard to say
>>59854>All this metaThe rules for CR weren't made to identify monsters' strength, they were meant for making/advancing them, for GM
Comparing things to dragons isn't proper either: a GM might consider speed, AC, the number of sides per HD, temperament, and a whole other list of things if he gave a fuck about getting CR right.
>15Nah. These things look like dull pushovers by themselves. I'd say 8 CR as individuals. They've just got tough armor and a dangerous extraordinary attack.
The encounter itself though? Idk about that. They're certainly dangerous when they surround you.
>>59855CR kind of falls apart when you take it to an individual level.
What really matters is if your character has the ability to damage the enemy or not.
>>59855These fucking flamethrowers definitely raise the CR on them. I think 10, like a Juvenile Red Dragon. Maybe more or less depending on the damage rolls
>tough armor and a dangerous attackYeah. What else is there exactly? They are highly mobile and have high HP. Only Infernius and Trumpaladin even has the BAB to beat their armor half the time, and they have too high of an HP for area spells to matter all that much
>Tracy's faggot complaining about anyone metaposting
>>59857Meh, idk.
I just don't think it'd take four lvl 10 characters to fell just one of these things.
>>59858I don't say that because they're not formidable. It's just that one of these things sounds like a pretty fucking boring encounter for a lvl 10 party.
I mean, they're dull as fuck: effectively mindless creatures. It was easy to figure out that they wouldn't hurt you if you presented an ID card, and I bet they could be easily deceived in other ways.
I'd approach them altogether as more of a trap or puzzle than as combatants in terms of CR, but then again, I am the rogue. I figured the objective of the encounter was to figure out how not to be fried, than to take on the bots.
Taking them on in a group is certainly a difficult encounter though, so the feat of actually taking them on would probably have a high CR.
>>59843You sure you wanna cast obscuring mist? It'll blind you too, and any fire attack will disperse it.
>>59860The area of affect is much too small to cover the bots directly. The idea is that Fae will take note of the location of a bot, cast the spell, then move to the bot, in the process leaving the misted area and able to see it better with her own eyes, and same with Trumpaladin when he makes his attack. The idea is that the bot on the other side won't be able to see them over the mist. So while 2 or 3 of the bots will be able to see them the next round, 1 or 2 will not, and one will be disabled by Trump's attack.
>any fire attack will disperse itLet them disperse it. If I have to chose between a stream of fire dispersing a mist that Trump and Fae no longer occupy, and a flame attack hitting Trump and Fae forcing a saving throw or extreme damage, I will chose for the flame to hit the mist. Fae can cast the same spell again after that, and Trumpaladin has an ever smoking bottle. Whatever frustrates the enemy is good, whatever obscures the vision of any one is good, whatever forces the enemy to waste an attack is good.
>>59860>I figured the objective of the encounter was to figure out how not to be friedTrumpaladin had no way of not being fried. He could either wait until he was exposed later and get killed by all 12 bots, or he could try to take them on with Infernius and by sneaking up on one. There was no way for him to acquire an ID. He has no thief skills, and couldn't steal anyways. He has diplomacy, but all the dice in the world would not allow diplomacy to work in Cardishore. The only options were to fight and to run.
>>59861What exactly is your objective for this encounter? Did you want to take out the robots, or advance into the city?
>>59862>What exactly is your objective for this encounter?And now you're learning
>>59863What was it though? Did you plan to engage right off the bat, or wait for an opportunity?
The party could probably take these out, but more will be coming..
>>59864I just wanna know, because if everyone just wants to keep fighting these things as we encounter them, I'd rather just escape and try again some other day.
>>59864The original plan was to try to talk to an administrator and claim he lost his ID when his girlfriend ran off or whatever, and he needed a replacement. This probably would have required killing at least two bots, but I thought it would be possible to gain respect after that and claim to be a performer. But this was not possible because there was no apple store and there were no administrators. There was no way to contact an "agent." There was nothing at all to do but wait to fight the bots.
Then Infernius pulled his stunt. It offered the best chances of a fight working. More importantly, it would have been cowardly to just watch Infernius die. So he would stay engaged with the bots until it became obvious that further engagement would result in death. After that, he would either fly on Fae through the hole in the dome, or run out of the park, either to hide in a house or to go to the hole in the wall
>>59866>replacementYou never had an ID though. Pretty sure That Bitch probably would've just had you killed on the spot too unless you rolled a 20 on Bluff.
My original objective was to get to the plaza ahead of time so Tracy could assess the situation in stealth. After I figured the party needed fake visas, I intended to swipe a few. After Infernius made his dramatic entrance, i intended to take advantage of the chaos to assassinate That Bitch, figuring her card would have some useful info, but I didn't expect Brad, and more importantly the undisguised Fae, to jump into the melee. After I realized that both Fae and Infernius had been exposed, I gave up altogether, figuring that the chances of infiltration were nil at that point, and only wanted to escape.
>>59868>You never had an ID thoughWhat else was he to do?
>That Bitch probably would've just had you killed on the spotShe'd have to make it through the combined strength of Infernius and Trumpaladin's Blood, Steel, and Faith first
>my object was...I'm going to stop reading right there, because you could have said something through empathic link at any point, or could have stayed in a group, and you chose not to.
>>59868Tbh, I threw the dust on Brad so that he'd have the chance to re-enter lawfully if things got out of hand (my fallback idea), since that way the guards would be looking for an ostrich and not an armored humanoid. Idk about Infernius and Fae though; they're could've already been marked by Cardashil security as domestic terrorists, and all those Dramaqueens might've easily captured them in their selfies.
>>59870>She'd have to make it through the combined strength of Infernius and Trumpaladin's Blood, Steel, and Faith firstThis.
>>59870I'll admit that I dropped the ball on communication, but you (or your character) could've just
asked what she was up to. I thought, erroneously, that the plan to steal IDs was obvious, but I still apologize for not communicating that.
>>59872>>59870They were definitely strong enough to take the bots on, but after that the party would've had to choose between fighting wave after wave of security bots, or escaping without accomplishing anything...
>>59873I mean, even in character, she might not be so quick to relay things ahead of time if her plan involved burglary and potentially murdering someone, but she would've bluntly admitted it if he were to ask her.
>>59874You are released from duty
1. When the enemy is dead;
2. When your allies have withdrawn safely; or
3. When you are dead
What else could they do? It was a mission that required a rogue, but they didn't bring Darkie and the one they had ditched them to do her own thing.
>>59876>ditched them to do her own thingOh come on, you know it wasn't like that. I just needed space for stealth, and I figured she could move ahead since her speed was much faster than the rest of the party (I expected her to arrive several rounds earlier).
I still remember having everyone tread over my back during that last dungeon crawl, when she was searching for traps and whatnot.
>those 3 optionsFug that LG bullshit. My goal was never to kill or be killed, or at least not until she got her knives back.
>>59869>>59877D'aww!
>>59878Oh she can do as she does. I'm talking about Trumpaladin's options
>>59876Also, when did the residents of Cardishore become our enemies? Sure, they're not allies, but they didn't seem malignant either, or at least not those drama-stricken noncombatants we just saw.
>>59880I personally don't want these people as allies.
>>59880>residents of CardishoreThe bots. The bots became enemies when they started trying to kill Infernius
>>59879>Trumpaladin's optionsAsk his waifu to steal a card for him: it's more in-code than lying about losing one.
>>59881Neither do I, although they don't seem ebil for the first part, just full of themselves. Figured the priority would be to avoid unnecessary grief for innocent civilians
(except for Tracy, who want to hurt people for the sake of hurting them).
>>59883>Ask his waifu to steal a card for himWaifu abandoned him and he was and is angry at her for it. Also, it's implied that those who have their cards stolen are eventually killed by the bots, which is definitely not in code
>>59884>it's implied that those who have their cards stolen are eventually killed by the bots, which is definitely not in codeShit, that code is restrictive... Not to mention the obligation to help all those in need would also apply to those who had their cards stolen..
This is why I prefer being a Rogue.
Maybe he could have tried seduction on That Bitch?
He's immune to disease right?
>>59885I prefer fighter generally.
>>59887In terms of weapons and combat, Fighter is best.
>>59886Disease-immune or not, the degeneracy could rub off on him.
>>59887You character sounds like more of the barbarian type, desu.
>>59891I think that's his actual intention. To be a religious Barbarian
>>59892I meant in terms of combat style.
>>59893*falls asleep in fluffpile*
>>59894She ain't out of Cardishore yet
>>59895It's non-consequential. She could've done it whenever.
>>59896But not sharing her fluff with her husbando...
>>59897Just dive right in anytime, ~Flaaashy.
>>59900[happy pony noises]
*unzips armor*
*chest-fluff poofs out*
>>59901Is slowly consumed by fluff>>59902Picks up pony, and tries to hump her
>>59903*fluff crawls over brad like a cocoon*
"I love you so much, Flashy...!"
>>59904"uh.... what are you doing?"
>>59905"~Nuuuuuthing..!"
*fluff balloons out from chest and covers brad*
"Just making us ~comfortable..."
>>59906"For... what?"
*tries to pet pony*
>>59907*says nothing*
*kisses*
*fluff obscures the outside world in a pale blue maelstrom*
>>59908"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
>>59909*fluff cancels out noises completely*
*tendril creeps across the room and locks door*
"Let's become
one, ~Flaaaaashy...!"
*room is entirely consumed by fluff*
>>59911*RUNS AS FAR AND AS FAST AS HE IS ABLE*
"ELWAY SAVE ME!"
>>59910Your baptisms could never hope to stop the fluff, only delay it.
>>59912You run down a blue corridor, but the door only seems to be getting further away somehow. The room seems to be getting visibly darker, and.. softer.
A frightening aura emanate from behind you.
"It's been a while since we've had some privacy together like this, ~Flaaaaaaaaaashy...!"
>>59914*
something grabs your ankle*
>>59916"GAH!"
*pulls away leg*
>>59915FUCKING RUN FASTER!
>>59917*door gets further and further away until the entire corridor visibly deteriorates into fluffy madness*
*more
things grab each of your other limbs*
*the room darkens*
"~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!" echoes ominously behind
>>59918"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
Trumpaladin turns and rips into the fluffy walls of the corridor with both hands, hoping to rip an entry to free himself
>>59919>implying you can escape*darkness intensifies*
*
things violently grab at parts of your body from every direction, stripping various pieces of plating and clothing from you until you're in your boxers; you hear a subtle hissing sound*
Then suddenly, it stops, the space around you is almost too dark too see anything at all, and it's imposible to even tell what direction s up anymore, and a certain "warmness" begins to creep up from your legs to your waist.
The malignant aura however, has only grown to horrifying proportions
"
We missed you.. ~Flaaaaashy...!" echoes an alien but horrifyingly familiar voice, from a direction you assume is behind you
>>59920"Fuck"
He cries out to Fae to help him, as she did last time
>"Fae, help me!">"Is this another one of your sexual escapades turned against you?>"Uh, No...">"It's Tracy again isn't it?">"Maybe">"....">"Uh... Fae?">"Help yourself this time">"Fae? Fae?"He can almost hear a phone clicking noise
>>59921He knows what may save him. Holy water, to burn away the fluff. But the big water coolers of Gatorade are far away, separated by impenetrable walls of fluffiness. There would be no accessing it. Nor did he bother to bottle any containers of holy water - water, blessed by Elway himself, and with the electrolytes plants crave.
But wait, he's a Paladin! He can bless water himself! Yes, that's it, he'll bless water himself! Now, for the bottles of water, where are they. He didn't pack any. Oh bother. But... Flasks of alcohol! Blessed alcohol like the Russians. Wait. Where is his robe? Did the vile tendrils of the fluff monster remove it already? Damn! He's out of fluids. Except... he
isn't out of fluids yet, now is he?
Trumpaladin knew what he had to do
>>59921*[the fluffy
warmth quickly spreads up from your waist to your chest, to you neck, until if feels that only your flace is exposed*
You boxers seem as though they've
vanished somehow, and the fluffiness seeps into every corner of your body.
The space around you is almost entirely dark, with only a dim blue light allowing a subtle view of strange amorphous shadows shifting all around you. You thrash with all of your might, but you find it increasingly difficult to move at all. The more you move, the more it drains you as the fluff constricts you.
lurking around in a space between spaces, you sense an aura, no several(?), lurking around in the unknown like sharks after dusk, circling you at an alarming speed.
"
We've waited a ~looooooooooong time for you, ~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashy....! We've been ~sooooooooooooo lonely....! the voice(s?) echo from an indeterminate direction
>>59923"Show yourself, Demon!"
>>59922*fluff curls in a spiraling fashion around penor*
"
Don't hold back now.. ~Flaaashy...!" hisses an alarmingly familiar voice before you
>>59924*unintelligible cackling*
>>59925"BY THE POWER OF ELWAY, I COMMAND THEE TO RELEASE ME, DEMON!"
>>59926[Insane laughter echoes all around through the darkness]
"
Soon.. soon.. you will be free...!"
The warm fluffiness wraps around you oppressively, fibers gripping to you skin. You find it increasingly difficult to breath.
"
Freeeeeee.....!" hissses the alien voice
>>59927"Gahhhh.... Show yourself to me! I find freedom in the light and truth of Elway"
>>59928*Crushing pressure intensifies*
At this point, you hear nothing but fuzzy static. The tendrils curling around you body have tightened to a point that is no longer comfy.. as you try to speak again, fluff pours into your mouth in a way that should choke you, but doesn't somehow.
As you're forced to inhale more and more fluff, the fibers creeping across your face spread until only your eyeballs remain exposed.
[Unintelligible hissing]
>>59930You don't even know.
*Hairs seep into pores in your skin, painlessly, but dreadfully noticably*
"~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeee....!" echoes a distant voice through your mind
[1d20+20 = 39]>>59931"Gah!"
Opposed grapple check
>>59933As you fight against the restraints, they seem to tighten further, only to suddenly lessen.
Your body feels light and strong, and your able to move again slightly, but a certain familiar warmness seems to be spreading through the core of your body.
>>59933With the brief moment of freedom granted him, his uses his free hand to grab his genitals, and utters a secret prayer as his mouth is free
>>59934>a certain familiar warmness seems to be spreading through the core of your body"ELWAY, I FEEL YOU!"
>>59936*Warmth creeps towards your very bones*
The tightness has vanished around your lower body, and you feel.. light and free somehow.
>>59935The twisting maelstrom around your penor feels less restrictive, as if your whole body we're surrounded and penetrated by a mystical softness.
>>59937Trumpaladin struggles free, and tries to move forward
>>59936As you shout, you realize that you are no longer being forced to inhale fluff, but
breathing it.
>>59938You binding fade away and you move "forward" freely sifting through the warm softness, only to wonder exactly where you're going
>>59939"Gah!"
>>59940Forward. Trumpaladin moves forward. Far enough, and he shall be free
>>59941You tread deeper into the darkness, the alien warmth having completely permeated your being.
It's cozy as fuck.
In the far, far distance, you hear a faint humming.
>>59942To move away, or towards the humming? Away, surely. No creature, living or not in this cozy hell could be good. RUN AWAY!
>run
And so, you turn away, treading through the fluff freely in a way that feels more like wading than running. You can't see shit and the weightlessness of the realm around you is disorienting, being unable to tell which direction is up, if there is an up...
In the back of your head, you feel a slight pain, as if something heavy and hard were weighing down inside your skull.
>>59944"Gah! WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
>>59945>"~Flaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeeee...!"Calls a distant voice inside your head
>"We've been waiting for you..."
>>59946>"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
>>59947>"We miss you, Flashy..."Beckons the voice
You feel a dragging motion in your skull
>>59948[A cacophony of echoing giggling emanates from every direction]
>"You're so cute, ~Flaaashy..."
>>59951"Who are you! Show yourself!"
>>59950The voice does not respond to this, but the pulling sensation in your skull intensifies to a painfully degree
You other bones begin to experience a similar tug, in various directions, though not nearly as intense as the griphold on your skull
>>59953"Gah! What do you want from me?"
>>59952[Demented laughter]
>"It's you who's hiding, ~Flaaashy..!">>59954>"We've been wanting to see you again for so long..."Once again, you feel a presence lurking around in the darkness
Holy shit, I had all this crap written out, but I'm dying of exhaustion.
Until next time, faggot.
>>59955Trumpaladin raises his hand towards the presence and forms the sign of the Football.
"Stay back!"
O.o
What did I just fucking read
>>59963An event that occurred in a place between sessions.
Watch the next episode unfold on this grand misadventure.
>>59964Weekdays at 11:00pm only on the Mixed Nuts channel.
I still don't know what's going on in the rest of the game, desu.
>>59967*meta-feeds birdies*
>>59968What the hell *are* you?
>>59969*ignores*
*cold chill sweeps through the room*
>>59970*heils like no one has ever heiled before*
Welcome back to the Mixed Nuts Channel: A magical place
Today's listings
>1:00-5:00 Assorted shitposting
>5:00-7:30 Meta-fagging so hard your head will spin
>7:30-11:00 A word from our sponsors
>11:00-12:00 To be scheduled
>>59974>>59966Cute birbs!!!
>>59973You forgot
1pm: torc is raped by that bitch
>>59975>raped from a different location>meta rapeI'll consider it
>>59976Raped through time an space.
>>59978That sounds pretty (((Einstein)))ish m8
>>59979I never said time was relative. Im not retarded.
>>59980>ITT Torcuil's Space-Time Rape-tivity Constant is determined
>>59981>Torc finally gets a relationship>Gets raped afterwards
>>59983Actually, depending on how possessive Death is...
>>59984Possessiveness shouldn't matter.
Be loyal to your waifu.
>>59974Ikt
I love birdies.
So for clarification, the party is currently at an impasse. I issued the challenge of "determine where the party is at", with three possible scenarios.
Scenario 1 is, the party is where they were at the "first" conclusion of the Cardashil invasion, where Trump made good his escape with Fae, Infernius is still stuck in the city, and Tracy is concealed somewhere on premesis.
Scenario 2 is the one where Infernius and(?) Trump wake up in the entertron, Trump's equipment being hidden somewhere underneath the Cardashil park area, and Infernius' equipment now in the possession of a demon that has taken residence in his corpse.
Scenario 3 is different than Scenario 1 or 2, and has not been described yet. No, the party does not get to determine Scenario 3.
>>59987I say we all roll 1d3.
>>59985I'm not saying I'm gonna go with it, trust me Torc wishes to remain loyal...
But if Death where to catch wind that someone was trying to steal her Meme-boy...
>>59989It's better not to count on those sort of things, desu.
>>59987So... scenario 3 is the secret option? Like you can keep your check of one thousand dollars or trade it to find out what is behind the curtain? Kind of like that?
>everyone waits for quads
Hopefully Death likes digits
The Game Shall Last Forever!
>>60003Take a guess. It could have been posted/deleted, bypassed entirely, who knows?
>>60001
More bots would still come though.
>>60006Let them come. He has a sword dedicated to sundering, a feat dedicated to sundering, a ring of evasion, and a ring of fire resistance, that have been entirely useless pretty much the entire campaign. Now is the chance to make it shine. You say you want to live up to the black guard roll? Well, I want to live up to the Warrior roll.
>>60009Your not the only warrior pal.
>>60009Do you intend to escape, or just take on the entire Cardishil security force?
>>60011My childhood just came to mind when you said that for some reason:
https://youtu.be/wv8gXqwu0IM
>>60011Kill as much as could be killed, then escape
>>60012A reference I never thought I would see in Mixed Nuts...
Veggie Tales...
>>60013I thought the idea was to
avoid getting killed?
>>60013We have to kill that bitch.
>>60013>pointless destruction of propertyThat only increases the chance of getting killed in various ways, or corridors of escape being shut-off, or the enemy recognizing you through the disguise.
>>60014That was about all I was allowed to watch for about half a decade. My parents were very cautious about what TV could do to a developing kid.
>>60016I was planning to snipe her. Tracy isn't far from her, crossbow drawn.
>>60019As they should have been.
>>60020I dont think it will be that easy.
Wait a minute. If Fae moves to the bot in a move action, then readies to cast Obscuring Mist after Trumpaladin makes his attack, then Trumpaladin could attack and the obscuring mist be placed directly over them, which would require at least one of the flame weapons for the robots to clear, necessarily wasting an enemy attack
>>60018You've been whining "give me something to kill, I'm craving xp" for months now
>>60022Thank you, and the failed attempt could be quite consequential
>>60023sigh
>>60023Concealment wouldn't protect you from breath weapons, I think.
Also, do you really wanna risk that Concentration check to destroy a couple more bots when you could just escape?
>>60025>ConcealmentRead the entry for Obscuring mist. The only way to disperse it, besides wind, is fire. They'll have to burn it away first, which is precisely what they will do.
>>60019>Softly hums Barbra Manatee
>>60027Would the robots even attack the mist automatically? Aren’t they programmed to attack humanoids or similar forms that don’t have ID?
>>60029If the robots do not attack Trump and Fae when they are in the mist, then I'm not sure what the problem is
>>60023>>60029>thernal vision
>>60027Yeah, but the weapon would still hit you as the bots blasted through it.
Regardless, is this really what you want to do?
>>60032Hmmm.... If it's not an effective shield for an attack, then maybe it would be best to use it in the center, so maybe a bot will be confused and won't make it across to attack
>sure you want to do thisI just want to kill
one. Not all five, not waves of reinforcements, just
one before it's time to run
>>60031Hm, someone was paying attention
>>60026M8, staying and killing more bots wasn't one of the 3 options.
>>60034I suspected this as well. Figured that was how they say the cards.
>>60036I'll take the opportunity to point out that no matter how she had played it, that scene where Tracy was trying to hide in an alley from the first bot was absolutely hilarious to me, considering thermal vision.
>I is sneaky hided -Tracy>Obvious AF signature detected -Shazbot
>>60037It gave me a chuckle too, particularly the image of her futilely attempting to hide big bird on top of that.
>>60037Then the question comes... how are they fooled by ID card? Would the card have to tell it a certain heat signature to identify to let the person pass? Maybe I’m thinking too hard about it.
>>60038>>>60039I probably shouldn't say. Already we've reached levels of metafagging that shouldn't even be possible
>>60034>>60034Is a smart goy
What does smiting do to an attack?
>>60042Typically moar damage, sometimes multiplied I think
>>60043Good to know.
Another question about attacks: if a sword is described as "+2" where do I apply the bonus? To the roll for damage, or to see if it hit?
>>60045Even better
Alright, my meta is content for now
>>60040This.
Can we not do this next time a PC dies?
>>60047Fuck you. You go die and lose all of your equipment, including impossible to replace items, because of a misinterpretation of a spell
>>60048They're not lost, they're buried.
I just don't want to do all this meta every time someone dies.
>>60050Then don't do meta. Just let me play the game where we left off
So wait, which option are we going for?
>>60056Are other people leaving or are they not? If yes, then he goes with them. If no, then he stays with them
>>60057What other people?
>>60055Essentially scenarios 2 and 1, respectively
I say just roll 1d3.
That way there's no question about it.
>>60060Fine. He flees on Fae, and calls on Infenrius and Tracy
So then, is that what happens?
>>60066I don't think GM will let us stay and fight
>>60069Meh, if i cant fight i guess ill leave.
>>60069It wasn't one of the options.
>>60070What were you going to do in the first place?
>>60073I was hoping to get Tracy's equipment back before the real throat-slitting began...
>>60074Tracy sighs, realizing that she's probably not going to be able to get her beloved knives back next session.
>>60080REEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
>from the outside
*Toes sink into chest fluff*
"There you go..." Tracy says, patting her chest that seems slightly poofier from the disturbance but otherwise unchanged
>>60084*walks by him, ignoring the screaming bull and humming to herself nonchalantly*
>>60083REEEEE!! Bad pony!
>>60086Shhhhhh... It'll be over soon...
[1d20 = 8]>>60085*G-Grapples*
>>60088*fluff poofs out, making Tracy visibly double in size*
Are you sure you want to try that?*static begins to pull Infernius closer somewhat*
[1d20+32 = 40]>>59987Scenarion 3: Trumpaladin uses the full force of his charisma to see if That Bitch wants sum fug
>>60090Good, good.
*knocks crossbow*
I have the right kind of autism that allows me to find the posts we were talking about.
After Rockefeller died, Soros sought to claim his throne in the Abyss.
>>5897 →>>8619 →
>>60093Berry could rule both planes though.
>>60094Berry should ally with the haus of thez
>>60095I figured Berry would be an Abomination (infernal), rather than a regular fiend, desu. A borderline goddess.
>>60096>is talking out his ass
>>60098I just think epic level monsters are cool.
[1d20+43 = 55]
Spellcraft to turn Infernius into a pickle
>>60101Just cast Polymorph Any Object. You don't need to roll.
>>60102Eh, spellcraft but oh well.
One sec and I'll figure out the DC for saving
>>60111We were shitposting on the discord that Berry Ebil was more powerful than Soros could ever dream to be.
>>60117So is there a consensus?
>>60120I think 2 was most interesting, but I'll be quiet about it because I don't want to come off as a prick.
Well? What's the canon going to be?
>>60122Thecannonwillbe800,sorryInevergotbacktoyouonthat
Kidding aside, I don't know; I've seen votes and rolls and suggestions and requests that aren't among the options, and all manner of what have you. What I haven't seen and no, I'm not logging in for the moment is a clear statement that reflects what everyone wants, pertaining to the three choices
>>60121That demon rampaging in Cardishil sounds pretty interesting too.
>>60125Ikr. I wanted to knoe more.
>>60126I'm not just being coy, its that each path has a particular brand of spoilers. Personally, I prefer the second path also, just as long as no one is gonna get pissy cuz "muh swag".
>>60126Those bracers always intrigued me desu. I suspected there was some special secret to them. Functionally, they seemed much less good than regular Bracers of Relentless Might, so I figured there was some hidden function or curse that distinguished them as artifacts.
>>60128Bracers of Relentless might are OP without a hidden curse, function, or consequence
>>60129Definitely. I don't think any other item gives such a drastic boost to stats.
Infernius had better make sure nobody sunders his belt while he's wearing them though.
>>60130Cursed items are cool that way. It's more fun for the most powerful magick items to have some kind of drawback, consequence, or key to activate them.
>>60131Also a good way to punish anyone who looted your home-made equipment from your cold dead body.
>>60127But i love my arms.
>>60132I like the fighting shadow thing better though.
>>60134I'd like to observe it wreak havoc in Cardashil until the rest of the party gets there.
>>60134Seems like a fun boss, desu. It's already been spoiled that it does that at this point, so I guess....
I wanna craft some of that Russian nerve agent.
>>60139Oh oh can i help craft stuff?
>>60140I'm surprised you haven't been crafting very much at all.
Ever thought of upgrading your sword?
>>60141It's already super fucking high powered
>>60139>wants more thingsI think
you should lose the horse shoes, the chain, the sword and so forth in Cardishore
>>60142>high powered.It's just a +2 greatsword of Flaming Burst. He could turn it into a Flame Tongue, or add all sorts of effects to it.
>>60124It's not really my choice to make, so I'll stay out of it
>>60143>>60140Infernius is a Cleric of the Good Domain, so he's the only one who could craft Holy weapons.
>>60145Clerics get the best equipment.
>>60159
You can lose the shoes
>>60160The enemies will have to catch her first.
>>60161Then they can actually fight Infernius and Trump first
>>60145It's going to cost me an arm and a leg to get some good Unholy equipment..
>>60163Then again, she could get Unholy Strike in 3 levels anyway.
>>60141I can upgrade it more?
Torc, Snek, and Stix stroll in the lobby of the tower.
"Alright, you said you needed gear. What are you looking at?"
Through the skies, riding down from a cosmic range, is the man with lasso and stern face. Angry, resolves face. He rides attop a fiendish horse. Devil horse, black and snorting fire, flaming mane, galloping through the air
>>60173Look for love in all the wrong places...
“Well... I’m looking for a better bow hopefully, some leg protection would be nice, and I got to swing by the port to get my dagger back.”
>>60175*sniff, sniff*
"At the tower. (I get ur soul, iz contract)"
>>60177"Reee you don't get my whole soul. Maybe for like a week. Why not a barrel of apples or something?"
>>60176"So, you need a new bow, bracers, and you wanna get your dagger back. Okay, follow me"
Torc leads Stix to the crafting room
>>60178"'Tis the
price."
*tracks with debil-senses*
>>60180>*sniffe sniffe**sniffes towards tower*
>>60179Stix follows close behind
>>60180"But I already gave away my soul horsey. A barrel of apples? Some cuddles?"
>>60183"Ur not using it right now anyway. Gibe."
>>60184"Soul belongs with waifu."
>>60184"But pony.... Anyways,
track him. Find him"
>>60185*Mutters something about "death do us part"*
>>60182"Alright, time to find a short bow machine..."
>>60186"If I find him, gibe soul. I'll gibe id back if u need it, but mine."
>>60188*carries Brad towards tower*
>>60188"Pony why you gotta be so greedy. Don't you love me?"
>>60190"I want ur soul
because I luv u."
>>60191"Maybe like a shared arrangement or something?"
>>60192"Iz ur soul, but I get to keep it. I'll keep it safe, don't worry."
>>60187“What would a short bow machine look like?”
>>60193"Like a Trust arrangement? Uh... maybe"
>>60195"I'll keep it safe. I promise.
I keep your baby safe, don't I?"
[1d20 = 16]>>60194"Er, I'm not quite sure. I'd say follow Mr. Snek, he's good at finding stuff"
Perception for Snek
>>60196".... We'll speak more on this when the slight against me has been avenged.
Yipee Ki-yay!"
Trumpaladin rides the devil horse across the endless skies
>>60197Eh, good enough.
After a little search they stumble upon the machine
"Ah here we go. Now to see if it'll work"
>>60199Sorry for the delay, but I thought you were going to follow up with how it was activated.
“How does it work? Is there a lever? Does it need materials to build one?”
>>60202"Take us there, horsey. Hyah!
>>60206"Are you sure he's in the tower horsey?"
*pets horse on ears*
"You may just be smelling him from yesterday.
I guess we should go there anyways... I need to change clothing..."
I'm about to pass out. I'm sorry...
No soul 4 Tracy tonight.
>>60208At least Stix won’t be physically and mentally scarred for a little while longer then. Goodnight
>>60200I'm waiting for GM on this one personally, that's why I suggested going to the board
>>60213>>60214Infernuis flies to the tower.
>>60216Tracy goes to the holodeck to train, and invites Infernius to join her.
Her next training regime will be Cloak Dance btw.
Hey, maybe we could feed the gibberniggers to Kiyen. That would make them useful for something: a staple for creatures that feed on humanoids, without causing drama.
I'll have Tracy ask her about it (taste test) when I have her go to Durpistan.
>Kefka: "How does my new cosplay look?">TfwI made this one to test out the colors displayed in
>>58462 → instead of just de-saturating. Looks a bit extra blue, but it is just a test.
>>60220I need to steal/shoop some template vectors for a braided tail.
Will everyone be here this weekend?
I will.
Also, did we ever decide on the scenario?
>>60220Slightly less shitty version.
>>60217Trumpaladin is somewhat relieved that the pony is no longer demanding his soul. He goes off and does a set of actions described in the discord
>>60225Does it occur before or after Cardashil?
>>60214This
>>60223And this
>>60225For the time being, this will avail you nothing
>>60223Scenarios 2 or 3 sound the most interesting, although they yield the most opotential loss.
>>60217*he joins*
>>60220Looks great.
>>60223I just want to play out the scene exactly as it would have but for the spell misinterpretation. That may still leave trumpaladin and Infernius to be killed by the bots,
but at least there would be something of a battle.
Failing that, just an all out withdrawal from Cardishore
>>60227That won't un-pet Stix>>60228You can lose your equipment too
>>60228Scenario one is turning tail and running, with little reward, but safe equipment.
2 is big losses for time being, but interesting things revealed.
3 is a mystery box.
Also, from now on, I think we outta learn to leave the stuff we probably won't use at home.
>>60230Here's the problem. Scenario 2 should never have existed. Scenario 2 occurred because when Infernius showed back up to continue the fight and I rewound the game - by 3 rounds mind you - Trump suddenly decided he wanted to go in a completely different direction. It was that very decision that fragmented the possible outcome into 3 scenarios.
Scenario 1 is the "Original". Scenario 2 is the "Deviation". Scenario 3 is "GM's Choice".
>>60231It's the risk that comes with wearing all of your capital on your body and walking around blinged up like a pimp. Darkie's associates could also be lurking around this city to steal ur swag too.
>>60232Infernius still has a high chance of being cooked too though.
>>60227Hello there.
Will Torc's craft skill be helpful?
>>60236What are you crafting?
>>60237Making Stix a new bow. Specifically a short bow
>>60234Oh look, someone who noticed the comment about "There have been an increase in inturuders lately,"
>>60239You could do that, but Thez was planning assigning BOB to Stix.
>>60240I did.
Does Tracy's Armor of Darkness protect her from Sneak Attacks when it covers her body, since it obscures her anatomy?
>>60241>Thinks>Thinks harder>visible strain from thinking Err, who is BOB again?
>>60241Thez handed Bob to Trumpaladin when he asked for a ranged weapon shortly before the Capital visit
>>60242She doesn't fucking have an armor of darkness just because you want her to have an armor of darkness
>>60241The green intelligent oathbow that Thez gave to Tracy, that she gave to Brad.
>>60243Bob is the shadow(servant) Thez gets as a Shadow-Dancer, who spends all his time attached to the Ghost-Touch Oath-Bow that she picked up once upon a time.
>>60245Yes, and he's done so much with it
>>60242Yeah no, no one got the kooky shadow-armor, because Torcuil had Covfefe, and when Thez approached him with the Dreadwraith scraps he compulsively lied about being able to use them to craft shadow armor.
>>60246Oh, that thing
Nevermind then...
He might want some light armor thought
>"Are you even gonna get around to enchanting my hat?"Oh yeah, I need to enchant Snek's hat
>>60245She got it a long time ago.
She's using right now to obscure her face beneath her illusionary disgui-
>>60247Oh....
>>60247I'll give it to stix...
>>60249Yeah I know. This is the first time I've even mentioned covfefe since then, cuz I'm irritated that it threw a wrench in the whole idea
>>60249>tfw you realize you have a lot less AC than you previously thoughtI guess I outta get her a chainshirt....
>>60251>SighWho's fucking idea was thelat shit?
I regret the decision
>>60252And still you refuse to deploy her in combat
>>60251*orders a dead soviet*
>>60251It's a shame. They both would've looked awesome in it.
>>60253I originally brought it up..
I found it on a wiki as I was casually browsing homebrew cursed items...
*Mr. Bones sadly dumps a bag of covfefe beans in the trash*
>>60253It was my idea desu, after the item description was posted
>>60252What happened to the hydra hide?
>>60254Tracy's abilities aren't meant for fighting: they're meant for murdering people.
Weren't you going to escape anyway?
>>60257She took that suit apart when she revived the fire giants and ate lunch with them.
>>60259I figured it was gay to keep parts from revived creatures: feels like farming.
>>60257Um... Can Trumpaladin have Aura of Protection? It's a class feature of the 5e Paladin
>>60259I wanna get her a set of magick armor anyway.
What spells were used to make Korak's suit?
>>60261Is that basically a spread Divine Grace?
>>60263Yep. It's "allies within 10 feet (probably like 30 feet by level 17, I haven't checked) receive the benefit of that Paladin's Divine Grace." It's to eliminate that awkward imbalance where Trumpaladin has a high enough saving throw bonus to be confident in a situation, but the mount he's riding does not
>>60261I like Eldritch Invocations.
>>60264Or if not this, just left him craft the additional Cloak of resistance into a Caparison of Resistance for Fae
>>60264Paladin's mounts already share saving throws. For an aura like that, you'll need a Holy Avenger
>>60262RIght, cuz I'm just gonna tell you
>>60260I am suspicious of your lack of wanting things e_e
>>60267They share the base saving throws. Unless you're letting Fae/Tracy just use Trumpaladin's saving throw roll
>>60266He already has all of the spell to craft it. I think a mantle for a mount costs twice as much tho..
>>60267>lack of wanting thingsWell, I was also kind of over that mundane armor after I (supposedly) got the Armor of Darkness, once I learned that magical deflection doesn't stack with armor AC.
Could Torc enchant Snek's hat to act like a ring of chameleon, except it's a hat and not a ring?
>>60270Just put a ring on his tail.
>>60270I thought Tracy made him a hat of Disguise?
It's a top hat, but it can also look like any other kind of hat.
>>60271That's not the point of asking
>>60272Uhh, I don't remember that.
>>60274I could've sworn I mentioned it.
It takes only a day to make, so she could've given it to him whenever.
>check wiki
>no ebil equivalent to a holy avenger
reeeeee
Blackguard feels like a proto-type class in 3.5e...
>>60274It was the funny glasses with the moustache
>>60268You know what I mean
>>60277The glasses were Tracy's: as an ironic western foil to Thez's ninja mask.
She made Snek a top hat. I think it happened some time after the mummy room.
>>60277No I don't
>>60276Because you already get all of your class abilities from the original class. you don't all of the abilities of the base class
and all paladin abilities as well
>>60280Yes, base saves e_e
>>60279My mistake, I thought the glasses and the hat were the same essential item.
Snek needs a whole collection of hats btw.
>>60280I know. It's kind of lacking as a prestige class tho, since it doesn't really mesh well with most base classes. It's really only at full potential if you're a fallen (epic-level fallen is probably one of the strongest classes).
I guess it did set the thematic precedent for other base classes, like the paladins of tyranny/slaughter in UA, or the Warlocks in 5e.
>>60281That's why she gave him a hat of disguise: it can change into different kinds of headgear as the disguise changes. It turns Snek into a better prop for Torc's memes.
>>60281That leaves the mount very far behind the Paladin when the Paladin has Divine Grace and the mount does not share this bonus
>>60282Well yeah, since a Fallen Paladin loses the great majority of their class powers. They need the Black Guard powers to make up for it
>>60283My mistake, carry on. I was thinking Snek needed a hat for all scenarios, but that works
>>60285Can I still get that chameleon enchantment or no?
>>60284They only lose Divine health, and a few spells.
The part about falling that sucks is that you can't trade all of you're levels if you're below level 20 but above level 10 (cuz that'd be haxx for taking ebin feats).
I liked how the paladins of tyranny and slaughter in UA got cause disease, deadly touch, and those inverted paladin spells tho. They make for a better base class. It's difficult to play a character that's mainly blackguard unless you took it at lvl 4 as a fighter.
>>60284>mount far behindFae has pretty high base saves herself tho.
>>60285Snek needs a hat for all scenarios.
>>60288His hat can change to look like any hat.
>>60286On the disguise hat? No. I'll allow Snek to wear 1 ring, and 1 bracer in addition to the hat/snglasses. BTW, is the Pinochet hat the disguise hat? The sunglasses could also do stuff I suppose.
>>60290They can change on the new year.
>>60287Also, would it have killed them to give Paladin's the option to craft Holy weapons with Holy Sword?
>sneks hat changes to a crusader helmet
>"Deus Vult"
>Changes to Pinochet hat
>"We must physically remove communists"
>Changes to flatcap
>"Vodka vodka cyka blyat"
>MAGA cap
>"10 feet higher"
"Will you fucking stop?"
>"No, this is fun"
>>60290Yes the Pinochet hat is the hat of disguise.
Fair enough, that's understandable.
>>60290Gotta protect those hit points.
>>60293>tfw your familiar has more mememing ability than you doPoor Torcuil
>>60292You should try it sometime
>>60296In all technicality a familiar counts as part of the spellcaster.
That's why Torc loses XP if Snek is kill.
>>60300I meant that for Trump
So yeah, were you guys gonna come to an agreement, or am I gonna spend 8 hours plotting the party's demise?
>tfw realize we've been shitposting in circles
Do we have a consensus on the scenario yet?
[1d3 = 1]
K, I'll be serious
>>60305>>60306Saying 1 so it'll be 3 out of 5 and we can quit talking about it.
>>60303Fine, the "fly away" scenario
>>60305>>60306>>60307>>60308It's decided then.
Brad flies away, Infernius is about to get BBQ'd, Tracy is hiding.
>>60309Trump asks Tracy where the fuck she is, same as in the Saturday scenario
>>60310Let me figure out where everything is first.
>>60311Then I'll have her respond.
>>60313So are we going to replay Saturday night?
We're due for fresh bread, desu.
I'd rather pick up there, once things are sorted out.
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