RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
Thez should've come along.
It would've been more interesting to come home to a Hell Brigade anyway.
Or something with stab-able organs.
Tracy will have plenty to stab here in a minute. I held back on Cardishore 'cuz I hadn't had time to figure out exactly what was happening in city when the party arrived (though a most obscure method I might add), but I'm ready to go with both cinematics, storyline, envirnonment, etc.
I'm probably not going to map most of Cardishore cuz its a massive city and there's going to be a lot of rapid-fire zones that will get vaguely mentioned and then ignored thereafter, but Its about to get hairy (and for once, its not entirely the party's fault).
Okay. I'm hype.
I've been meaning to get Tracy back into this city for months now.
"We can grab some food after we get the cannon order placed"
>"Why go somewhere when there are four perfect sized meals in front of me?"
>"I'm not leaving until I eat a gnome"
>>58633>inb4 thread breaks bump limit before friday evening>>58634
It occurs to Torcuil that all he'd really need to do is cause an explosion to occur in an area formerly occupied by Snek's lunch,... probably best of they're alone.
Tracy looks around the city and wonders how many of these fancy houses she'll have time to loot.
Okay, I won't lie; I have no idea what you are meaning by this statement.
>>58639I think it sounds like he'd let you get away with murder, because it'd be funny.
[1d20+24 = 25]
*walks away while the ostrich and bull are fighting to continue searching the city in stealth*
Rolling to Hide
The hype is real.
No divegrass this weekend.
"Poor thez.">>58643>tfw no swastika
Shouldn't have told her to stay, imo..
We needed someone powerful and competent to lead the men while we are gone.
Maybe I'm just being selfish, because I half-hoped to come back and find that the port was destroyed by a giant monster again...>lead the men
They're canon-fodder, m8. No use putting them at risk.
Reeeeee my men arent cannon fodder.
The followers you get from the Leadership feat aren't exactly useful for combat. Only a handful will even be 5th level.
That may be, but my men still aren't cannon fodder, they are respected soldiers.
For the Six Gorrilionth time, you aren't the only one to receive Haxx
What do you mean?
Tracy has Leadership too. She just hasn't organized her soccer team yet.
So, what level can our followers be then?
If it's at least 4th level, I'd like to train some young ones as fellow Blackguards.
Tracy can have followers too.
I need to if I'm going to own this BG role.
Why do you need to own the BG role and the thief role and the assassin role and so on and so on? Pick something
I wanna see the flag
Our state needs a flag.
Yea the isp niggers unplugged me even though the bill was payed.
>Deleting gets because you don't like them
Now that is [i]true heresy.
It's kind of funny though
I can see why Ninjas has so much fun doing this in Rabbit
Someone fucking shoot me, STOP IT CHILDREN
Why can't I be a Blackguard-thief? A sneaky shadow knight? Besides, thieves/assassins can be leaders too; they can be organized and teach others their techniques.
Just because I rolled lower stats shouldn't mean I have to play a secondary character.
The field would be kind of pointless without players, wouldn't it?
Relax it just bants
I'll relax when my opinions remain intact.
I'll take this all the way to the main board if I have to. I loathe censorship.
>>58690>Take this all the way to the main board
Boy have we got a surprise for you
Come on the Discord and see
I can't access the discord on this computer.
Find one that can.
I would if I could.
My resources are slim at the moment.
So, how are we today?
I've been better..
Sorry to hear that.
Yep. Sorry, the others are distracting me with discord
>"GIVE ME GNOME STEAK OR GIVE ME DEATH
What're y'all talking about?
Shitposting and other fun stuff. You would get a REAL kick out of the topic. But we can’t say it here.
Learn to handle the Bantz, Tracy's faggot
Censorship isn't a joke. Moderation privileges should not be used at one's own discretion.
>>58709>implying a random post is censorship
It's bantz. Learn to handle it
Agreed. Though you got to admit. You sometimes start these kind of squabbles
I don't think you understand.
I don't think you do
>>58710>a random post is censorship
I'm talking cumulative.
What is being censored?
Having one's post edited or deleted.
What idea is being censored?
Think of every post of mine you've ever deleted, for example.
I have some work to do; signing off for the next hour or so.
You turn around to see a giant praying mantis, dressed up in a black vest and fancy church blouse.
"Dinosaur? Oh, I do think I passed one earlier." he says, tipping his hat politely and adjusting his monocle with his long claw
>>58720>giant bug>various Starship troopers references
"Oh me thought....., how are you doing today?"
"Very well, and yourself?"
"Me miss my wife."
"Ah, you're a family man I see." The giant insect says, with an accent that sounds kind of British like, but is really just indiscernible insect-speech.
"Yea we have baby on the way."
"You're a lucky man." The green creature says
"A family is something to be cherished.."
"You have family bugman?"
>>58727Is this censorship to you?
Hey now, I mostly only do it in discord
Get on the discord
>>58732>has cancer now
"Ah.. No.. Mantis society is different from that of mammals, you see: our females eat our drones' heads during mating."
So, what level is that?
Got access to discord right now?
GM, can Tracy spend a level like Torc did so that she can cast Paladin of Tyranny/Slaughter spells as listed in Unearthed Arcana (Blindness/Deathness, Bestow Curse, Curse Water, Unholy Sword etc), as Blackguard spells?
Alright. But try to get to it asap. There is something going on there I think you would like.
You guys are going to wait until I leave and then start spamming the thread again aren't you?
"Well then, I'm off to church." The enormous vermin says as he scuttles away at alarming speed.
"Would you like to hear about Elway?"
"Is that the name of your Lord? I beg your pardon, fine sir, but foosball is the only game for a monstrous insect such as myself. I have a sermon to attend in only a few minutes, and I wouldn't want to be late. Blessings to you though, fine stranger." He says, making a characteristic praying gesture and politely tipping his hat before scuttling off into the city
The Ostrich seems confused a bit, and runs towards the Mantis with a bit of haste, to catch him as he leaves, and briefly places a wing on the shoulder in a sort of "don't go" bodily expression. The Ostrich then says to the Mantis
"Foosball is a grey area in the scriptures, and has been hotly debated amongst Football theologians for several centuries. On the one hand, it has been argued that it is a derivative of soccer, which is false Football most foul. On the other hand, it has been argued that it is a fun table-top game that I used to be actually pretty good at in middle school.
All I can tell you is that the Prophet John Elway said the following, in his letters to the Galacticons at the summit of Mount Arararat:
'Yea, and truly I say unto you: In days of old, when knights were bold, and Football not invented, the Dallas Cowboys did descend from on high and attempt to bring forth football into the world, but did fail, for only the Denver Broncos could truly give birth to the Football that is Football. And Lo, Peyton Manning did appear unto them, and did kick a mighty field goal using a cantaloupe, for at the time there were no footballs because there was no Football, and the cantaloupe did explode, and did get runny sticky cantaloupe juice all over the faces of the Dallas Cowboys. And then Rainbow Dash did appear and lick the cantaloupe juice off of the Dallas Cowboys, and the Dallas Cowboys did masturbate. And Peyton Manning did masturbate. And then it was that on that very spot, 1000 years hence and 10,000 years earlier, the Lord Elway did burst forth into sapphire bullets of pure Football, and all the ponies of the land did see Football and did fall to their knees and worship Football, and render praise unto Football and the Lord Elway and His Broncos, and it was good. And the Denver Broncos did come upon them, and did distribute cantaloupes unto them, and they did kick field goals with they cantaloupes, and afterward did eat the cantaloupes, and the Lord Elway said unto them, 'Behold! This cantaloupe is my flesh and my blood, broken for you.' And then he did kick a totally sweet field goal with a different cantaloupe than the ones they were eating because they were eating those, and the cantaloupe did fly three times around the earth and did later fall into the hands of Gene Shalit, who would ingest the cantaloupe and discover that he had a penchant for licking people's buttholes. Do this forever, in remembrance of me.'
Take from that what you will."
"I beg your pardon , sir, but we verminkind have been playing foosball since before you vertebrates even walked the Earth. It is the pillar of order and discipline in our society: I would not be an insect if I allowed my faith to wane. I bid you farewell, stranger.">cantaloupe"..Lowest of the fruits..." he mutters inaudibly as he scuttles off
The mantis continues to travel deeper into the city in stealth.
>>58749GM is out. post on the main board
Y'all ready to play this weekend?
I think you need another hobby. Why not make oekaki art like you used to? Or something
*scuttles through the city in stealth, moving towards the commotion*
*you see wojack*
"H-hello.." Th insect says nervously.
*spaghetti blasts from his pockets towards you*
I think he could dodge that, but he's still thoroughly rustled by the sudden sketties blast.
"Rough day, I take?"
"Yea my boss,stabed my wife's son"
"Why would he stab his own son like that?"
"Because he found out about his daughter."
"What about his daughter?"
"She's my asain sex slave."
"I'm sure your wife is thrilled"
The insect slowly backs away for a few steps, then bolts in the opposite direction.
"My boss killed my wife."
I hate working nights, everyone's always offline when I get off even when its a weekend ~_~
*pinches thez's ass*
"Pinching the ass? Pedestrian! Caress the back of the knees you fool!"
*gentlty blows on kneecaps*
>>58788>says back of the knees>goes for the front
"Rly? Boi, u need to learn ur erogenous zones."
*tickles stomach furiously*
"Better, but you should work up to the stomach, as its easy to over-sensitize. In fact, the female is easily over-sensitized, if not finessed. If you're going to start with heavy breathing, aim for the back of the neck or the ears. Hold off on the stomach until just before,... stuff," she says with a wink.
"Well me dunno what you expect, me only was ever around Aryanne. Then me was exiled to mountains."
"I don't expect
anything, but I hope you'll pardon my,... aspirations," she says, blushing a bit.
>weird dream about camping... indoors?
>woke up now
Stix begins his journey back to the tower. He had seen weird things since coming here, but never would he guess he would be talking to a squirrel one minute, then holding onto a big acorn the next with no answers or clues as to what is happening around here. He wonders if this is just a really convincing dream.
"Well me try to be better."
*blows on ears*
"Me know me said this before,but me am so glad me met you ana."
As Stix approaches Port Barry, he senses that something is amiss. For one, there are varying trails of smoke leading from some of the higher buildings. Additionally, there's a malevolently black-robed individual hovering above the town, throwing pumpkin-sized purple gobs of fire at the walls. Just another day at Port Barry,....
“This can only go so well for me”
Stix try’s to stealth past the individual, hoping to avoid more encounters with fire for the time being.
The individual is not barring the gate, they're more raining fire down upon the port.>>58795>pic
How to get my grounded character with a bow that is difficult to use correctly to stop an attack by a flying cloaked figure... hmm...
Stix makes his way around the port to see if he can get a better view on who is attacking, and a better angle of attack.
The figure is not guarding their flank at all, they seem intent on terrorizing the available populace. Many of the existing martial factions (the Gestapo, the Generals, etc., which Stix isn't familiar with, but suffice it as a couple groups of coordinated hoomans) have taken up positions along the wall and are attempting to expand the threatened area of the target.
Time to see if this bow is useful or not..,
Stix whips out his bow and digs one end iron the ground to stabilize it. He readies an arrow.
“Just don’t miss and you won’t have to deal with much... I hope”
He pulls back on the string with his teeth. He steadies his aim for a moment and releases...
This is why earth ponies don’t have bows...
If I can stop forgetting to clear the email... that would be nice too... ugh I hate my forgetfulness
Your almost as unlucky as me.
I’m guessing everyone but us went to bed now.
Hey we should make a 9/11 thread.
I would've stayed up later, but I thought you went to bed.
I'm ready to play today though.
I will, I was just setting things up so I wouldn't forget>>58803
Kek, don't worry, I've got something in mind>>58808
No worries, I got caught up in videos and passed out>>58813>is only disguised as a mantis>still scuttles
She's taking the disguise very seriously.
9/11 "conspiracy" thread.
Are there any shops in the city?
Yes, but Tracy hasn't encountered them yet. The area she is scuttling through is still technically the "outside" area of the city.
The thing is, while the city has a degree of artistry to much of its design, much of the city is not designed to be traveled or wandered through, its more of the aesthetics of a stone garden,... except concrete. Long story short, with very few exceptions (and all will be explained) most areas area not intended for ppls.
"Can we get a quick rundown?"
^Yea what he said.
What can Trumpaladin see from his vantage flying?
Tracy dashes through the city, abandoning stealth to scuttle at her full speed.
She eyes the gaudy aesthetics and wonders to herself what she could find in a cushy neighborhood like this one.
She gravitates towards the source of commotion she saw earlier.
From Trump's vantage point, he sees much more of the same that Tracy can see, except at a certain point he notices the city transition into something of a square and a park area, where there seem to be hundreds of people meandering around and interacting with one another. He's too far off to see what they're doing, but it is undoubtably the source of the ambient noise of ppl.>>58823>scuttle scuttle>>58820Who
Tracy scuttles uber-fast towards the noise.
Well, sounds like it would be a good idea to slowly come down onto a street before the park, and proceed on Fae's back towards the people
Meanwhile,<zing> Stix' arrow goes wide right of the target, but not before alerting the target to a new source of arrows. It turns and looks at him for a moment, cocks its head, shrugs, and then dashes toward one of the troop positions along the wall who are attempting to flank. Stray arrows buzz past the intruder every so often, but it is clear that there is enough range that the projectiles are easily avoided.
"Let's see how you fare up close and personal!" they taunt as they close position against the troops.
>"You know, you could let me wander off and find a meal..."
"Because you can't have good relations with a race you let your friend eat"
*mumbles about torc not waiting for Infernuis*
I thought he was in Cardishore?
“My father always told me I was a disappointing shot”
He rushes toward the troops as well in hopes to aid their battle.
>>58832Which is the result of Torc not waiting for him
*looks for things worth stealing*
You can sunder a spell-book or holy symbol, right?
Stix bolts toward the stairwell that leads to the troops' position. As he speeds toward, he can hear the sounds of a few hoomans being beaten.>>58835>shocked.png>>58836
As in, you can incapacitate a wizard or cleric that way?
Yes. Wizards depend on their spellbooks, and clerics rely on their holy symbols. Bards and Sorcerers (and arguably in some cases, Paladins) r the only base classes that can operate without a class-specific tool.
You still need a holy symbol to turn/rebuke undead, right?
He winces at the sound, but draws his dagger and pushes forward.
“What is this thing’s problem? Did he lose his life’s savings in a bet here?”
Trumpaladin approaches the people to see what they are doing
Tracy is still scuttling towards the sound at full speed.
If my holy symbol is broken,can i carve it into my body and get the same effects?
You're the one who decided to stay at the banquet
As Tracy and Trump approach from separate positions - the former scaling a small wall separating the civic area, and Trump from a more obvious position - the attention of the crowd seems to shift to a stage-area setup in the park. There seems to be a public address going on, and those in attendance are fixated on the source, which is a Raven-haired woman in a vibrant outfit.
"Welcome, newest entrants and talented performers, to Cardishore!" to which the crowd erupts in cheers and applause.
Tracy lurks closer, in stealth.
Can i hear the noise?
Trumpaladin enters the crowd. He watches and listens to the Raven haired woman
Rounding a corner and proceeding through a doorway, Stix makes visual contact with the intruder. Around them several of the troops are down or incapacitated, while a trio are attempting a coordinated defense.
"You should have held your fire! You might have had a chance in that event!" they arrogantly shout as they wade in taking several attacks of opportunity. Stix has not been detected.
Dismounting and standing immediately next to Fae so he isn't as
I thought Druids and Rangers were the only classes that could cast divine spells without a divine focus.
Stix attempts to sneak up behind the intruder for a strike.
Doesn’t surprise me at this point... 9,8, then 7...
I would consider it, but you'll need to do more than just
carve it,... I mean there would need to be some sort of sanctification ritual involved for that to work,... but that fits into one of the plot devices that I was going to work in.>>58853
Oh yeah, I forgot about them.>>58849
Drawing slight glances, but no particular scrutiny, both make their way into the assembly to hear the address.
"Before we kick off this year's Extravaganza, there are a few points that I need to go over. First," she says, retrieving an elaborate and fine card-pendant from her neck, "NEVER GO ANYWHERE without your identification. We have had a string of intruders lately, and so we've amped up security. This here," she says, walking to the edge of the stage where several of those weird robots are positioned, "is our security detail. If you are found without identification, you will be summarily killed. Nothing personal," she says, caressing the dome of one of them.
Tracy disguises herself as a two-headed naga.
She hides first though.
She can't hide while standing amidst a crowd. e_e
Tracy searches the crowd for a goy who looks like he'd be easy to pickpoket.
I meant to have her do that before she got up there.
It's not important though.
Trumpaladin enters a state of existential horror: he is the illegal alien without documentation
What are you looking for?
Someone I can steal an id from, and them promptly disguise myself as.
Trumpaladin listens, and switches the ring shield for the ring of fire resistance
RIP in peace Trumpaladin
Which you will return once you are done if he is white.
Better go back and go get your visa lawfully, m8. I kid.
Tracy stands back from the crowd and makes herself scarce, waiting for the performance to start so that she can swipe an id while everyone's distracted.
*changes back into wojack*
Can I get a better description of the raven-haired woman?
The woman goes on to describe the workings of the city. Rather than using any particular form of transportation, the city employs a network of teleportation gates. In this way, they are not required to landscape or modify existing structures, instead they can erect a doorway than connect it to other areas. The city that is apparent is actually the top-floor of a city that expands underground, and the full capacity of the city is many times larger than it appears. But that's all for the mundane performers. The city level is for the finest of talent, and everyone (here) has been selected for their merit and ability. She describes that the gate system is linked to their identification, enabling access to whatever facilities that their particular position (ala a hierarchy) that the individual is authorized to utilize.
Does she give any hint on where new residents can pick-up their possessions from security?
No, this doesn't seem the sort of crowd that would need to know something like that. As she continues her address, she describes more mundane shit that has little relevance, about how to contact agency representatives and such, finally concluding the address with an invitation to all to enjoy themselves, and to get ready, as this is the latest group that will change the way that the world views entertainment.
Oh, and she introduces herself (by name) as "That Bitch".
>>58878>How to contact agency representatives
Desire to know more intensifies
What is this... Extravaganza?
What about the crowd? What kind of people are around?
More importantly, are they paying attention to what's behind them?
*Degeneracy senses tingling*
Without showing any advance warning and as Stix approaches the for a strike, the figure deftly side-steps his attack and squares on him, ignoring the remaining troops who had braced for an attack. Only one of their strikes had landed, but it doesn't seem to have been effective against whoever this is.
"Well now, this is a surprise," the intruder says. "And where might you have come from?"
“I’m not completely sure on that. I happen to last remember coming from a certain tower. I don’t suppose you know about it do you?”
He takes a step back and braces for combat.
*spaghetti flys out of pocket at mach 2*
Its essentially a welcoming party. All along the sides of the park are kiosks and booths with a variety of food and entertainment.>>58880
All sorts of artsy/contemporary/fashionable individuals. There are even some non-human races in attendance, and the level of gaudiness would make Thez blush.>>58883
"Another one from the tower then? Unexpected. Well let's see what you're made of!"
Stix gets an attack of opportunity as the figure darts toward him with incredible speed.
Alright, Trumpaladin nears a booth to see what it contains. What is this entertainment like?
Having understood the importance of acquiring a visa, Tracy steps back and bides her time, eyeing each individual and contemplating when she'd get a chance to swipe a high-ranking card.
"I'll get those knives if it's the last thing I do.."
"Reeeeeeeee b-burn the c- coal pay the t- toll"
Knick-knacks and trinkets, party favors and accessories. Jeweled cases for the "ID cards", one booth says something about "Why Fie",....>>58887
And almost on cue, That Bitch signals for a number of performers to take the stage. Some are vocalists, others are coreographed dancers, with musical accompaniment from the edge of the stage. The performance has the effect of drawing pretty much everyone's attention.
Stix lunges at the figure with his dagger, aiming for his throat.
Please that be because i interrupted with >>58889
All these people are new to the city?
I hate luck based gameplay! It is just not good except on rare occasion...
Use the double-ended shortsword. You can attack multiple times.>>58894
You can rank up your skills.
Rangers have a high base attack bonus too.
How do you think i feel? Ive been doing that for like 6 months.
>>58892>trying to get himself killed>>58893
With the exception of the current performers, yes>>58891
The figure effortlessly side-steps the dagger, and in fact grabs the tip of the blade (disarm).
"Oh no no no, you'll have to do better than that!"
Your not making me feel better...
I know that feel too.
And there was almost no one elsewhere in the city on this level?
“Hmm... I see you went to disarm me instead of stiking me down. Why is that?”
Stix draws his double sided short sword.
I'm not sure I follow. There's a couple hundred people in attendance, of which maybe 20 are not
new arrivals. There's undoubtably others throughout the city, this is just the newbie-party.>>58902
Taking the dagger and <thunk> tossing it into a nearby support-beam, the figure assumes a particularly self-assured posture.
"You'd prefer I finished this quickly? What fun would that be?"
“Eh... not fun maybe, but it seems a little soft if you ask me.”
He takes another swing at the intruder.
The troops are quite bewildered, and more of them (from the other flanking position) are filling in behind Stix, forming a loose perimeter around him and the figure. They look nervously from Stix to the figure, and to one another.
Trumpaladin approaches a new arrival
"Why hello there"
I was going to wait until Infernius created chaos, but after moving away from the crowd to change herself into something vaguely humanoid, Tracy discreetly moves through the crowd and attempts to pull an ID card off of the classiest-looking goy she can see.
Rolling Sleight of Hand
Fuck! That was close.
Reaching up with one arm, the figure blocks the incoming strike, emitting purplish sparks as the weapon makes contact, but not seeming to cause damage.
"I'd planned for them, " indicating the troops, "You however, are something of a wild-card in this."
The intruder does an exaggerated back-flip, to land squarely on thin air, now positioned slightly outside the wall (but otherwise held aloft by artificial means). One hand begins to glow with a dark-purple energy.>>58906
"And who are you
supposed to be?" they look at Fae. "Sigfried and Roy?">>58907
Success, but not without bumping into the individual such that they become agitated. "Hey, you, watch where you're going! Do you have any idea who I am?" they accuse, drawing looks from those around.
"Oh, you think you're better than me?"
"Shes better than some race mixing whore!"
1. Tracy is still disguised
2. you're probably not that close
3. There is no context for that statement
“Why are you destroying the place? Did one of the soldiers here steal your wife?”
Seeing the glow, Stix immediately thinks of unicorns charging a blast. He ducks for cover.
I’m just about fed up with this...
Wait. Are there ponies in the crowd?
*Tips hat* (she's disguised as a leprechaun btw)
With the card in her pocket, Tracy bows apologetically, stepping back towards the mailboxes.
"Pardon me, sir, I'm new to this land. Do you perform?" she asks, with a flattering tone>>58912
You're still an ostrich.
Trump isn't talking to That Bitch, she's left the stage. Trump is talking to some random cunt.>>58910
"Ha! My dog," she says indicating a small poodle, "is better than you!">>58913
You don't need to roll to attempt to take cover, but since you rolled a 1, we'll assume that he lost his footing and doesn't have the opportunity. They seem amused at the suggestion about a soldier stealing their wife.
"Why? Cuz I do what I want! THATS
why!" they say, loosing a small fireball at Stix.>>58917
"Hold on a second, I'm not done with you!" the fellow says, drawing more attention. "What's your name! I demand an apology!">>58916
"Care to prove it?"
As the fireball zips in and collides with Stix, another fireball erupts around the figure, sending it flying outside the city wall.
"Bullseye!" yells a relatively dainty-looking unicorn, standing next to a large war-machine, positioned just around the corner of the wall, to maintain concealment (kek, a concealed trebuchet)
*takes a step towards mailboxes*
"..Is Bridget Cloverfield.."
*takes another step*
"May I have the privilege of knowing yours?"
"Well now MISS Cloverfield, you've offended me, you've disrupted my fine clothing, and you've disturbed an otherwise delightful party! I demand satisfaction!" he says storming in the direction of one of the Shazbots.>>58919
"Look at this guy! He's actually entertaining challenging a dog
Stix falls to the ground and starts to panic.
“Please, stop the burning... anything to stop it!”
"So you came here to prove your dog's talent?"
"F- fuck you cunt!"
"Oh, I beg your pardon, fine sir. If you'd just tell me your name..?" The young leprechaun says quickly stepping to the side.
"Oh don't you worry, you'll be getting much more than my name!" he says shaking his finger at Tracy, while approaching the Shazbot. "You there, I require your assistance."
"INTRUDER DETECTED" the bot says, opening up a hole.>>58924
"What a noob! Are you even in the right place? You MUST have been misclassified!" the random cunt laughs.
Bridget nervously steps back as the bot aims it blast.
Trumpaladin shrugs, and walks away
And the random fellow is summarily reduced to a pile of ash. The concert/performance is momentarily stalled, as everyone's attention is drawn to the spectacle of the guy getting burned alive before their very eyes.
That Bitch emerges from the crowd near the Shazbot. "Fool, I literally just finished telling him to keep his ID on him,...."
"O-oh.. What a shame.." Bridget says quietly, backing away slowly
From his position on the wall, Stix can see that the figure has landed outside the wall, and is in a smouldering heap, its robes torn to shreds revealing a grey-skinned female with vibrant-red hair.
"Damn Slovenia, that wasn't a normal shot was it?"
How many shazbots are there?
In the entire area? A dozen maybe?
Are the new entrants essentially enjoying a concert?
Bridget sneaks off to a corner, and reads the Fancy Anon's ID tag
Stix, after his panic attack, runs out to continue the fight.
“Where did you go off to? You think I’m going down that easy?”
After That Bitch's dismissal of the guy who "forgot his ID", yes. The concert resumes.>>58938
Alfonzo G. Gorplemonger
Before Stix' eyes, the dainty unicorn smugly walks up to the grey-female. "No it wasn't, and you're lucky too. That was just a clay-pot filled with lamp oil. If that tartan-fellow ever completes my refined munitions, then you'll REALLY be hurting." Slovenia and Thez make their way back into the town. The troops who were downed are roused and awakened by the remaining troops, and Stix realizes that though knocked unconscious, no one was actually harmed. Limping slightly, the grey-female (Thez, hereafter) approaches Stix. "You showed a great deal of courage. We haven't met yet, but you've already mentioned that you came from the tower."
Well that was unfortunate timing
Now what are the people attending doing?
Varying. Some are watching the show, some are talking into their ID cards (think smart phones, so I can stop being implicit), others are engaged in shit-talking with each-other not unlike the random cunt was.
Stix eyes twitch.
“What are you talking about? You just attacked this place... I... if this was all some act, why the hell shoot me with fire?”
Now surely there must be a place to repair or update or what gave you IDs?
Observing this, Tracy attempts to activate Alfonzo's card.
You probably get yours at the front gate.
"Yeah, sorry about that. I got bored and so I decided to scrimmage with the troops. I figure "why wait for someone to attack to test our defenses, when I can just pretend to attack and test them myself?". I hadn't expected your arrival. Don't worry, its just ki-fire. It won't burn you, and at the moment I'm using it non-lethally.">>58945
Yes. IDs were already distributed during the application process. Though not detected (yet), Trump, Tracy, and Fae have targets on their backs.
Excuse me, Trump, *Infernius, and Fae
What's Tracy's Use Magical Device skill?
But is there a place to repair IDs?
Stix is still shaken from the attack.
“Listen... apparently your supposed to be a friend... but get this through your head before we continue. Me and fire... DONT MIX. Got it? I don’t know why, but I freak out when I get near it.”
Shit.. I don't have my notes atm. I think it was only 13.
Can she take 10 on that check?
Thez crosses her arms in front of her and cocks her head to the side while looking at him thoughtfully. "Lenos will be a problem," she off-handedly remarks. Then directly, "Fair enough, though for reference," she says holding her hand out and drawing on the purplish energy, "You can see its more of an aura than actual fire, it just looks like fire from a distance," and from up close, Stix can see that it has more of a shape and movement of fluid than fire, though with observably different properties as far as gravity and localization.
Now where can Trump find an agency representative?
*overlooked bull noises*
He still takes a step back.
“My brain doesn’t seem to care right now what it technically is... it is still telling me to... well... best not say that. Anyway, my name is Stix.”
If there are, this is unknown to Trump>>58955
Yes, that's fine>>58958
Well, last I checked Infernius was attempting to heckle the person running the show. Did you want me to not overlook that part? Is he still flying or has he decided to land?
Trump walks around through the crowd and around the perimeter, looking for the equivalent of an Apple Store
After fiddling with the device for a long period of time, and guessing various pet-names, Tracy tries to access any information on the device in an attempt to steal Gorplemonger's identity.
"Pleased to meet you Stix, I'm Thez," she thinks for a moment and chuckles, "Isn't filly out looking for sticks?" shakes her head, "Nevermind. Anyway, I can promise that you'll have no more firey-whats-it from me, but you should probably not mention that,... quirk,... in front of the short, shiny-haired guy. He's a dick. He's the reason that there's that "firetrap" sign in the hallway.>>58962
That device is
I should warn you, most of the Shazbots are around the perimeter. Additionally, there don't seem to be stores in this area, though there are gates which undoubtably lead to other areas. If one has an ID that is.>>58963
Obviously or covertly?
Can she find anything about Gorplemonger? Where he lived, what level access he had?
As flashy as possible.
Heads to the center and tries to find someone who looks like they are not a new arrival
“I see. Well, glad to meet you Thez. Do you happen to be from the tower as well?”
About that feel...
Use Symbol of Stunning and spraypaint a swastika on your chest.
~Yay! Infernius rolled a 20!
On a roll that will attract attention to himself and get himself killed
*victory mega giga dab*
Oh not just
killed. I'm having to think hard here, cuz that 20 could go a number of ways. It could be a spectacular success or a magnificent failure and considering his choice of action that could be equally bad or good.
>>58976>spectacular success or magnificent failurehttps://youtu.be/YlQfW9oK1G4
He rolled for a flashy entrance, not necessarily to get himself killed.
What happens to people who are present without IDs?
Wonderful my friend.
So I'm figuring that since Infernius was going for as flashy as possible, and he rolled a 20, he somehow magnificently times his arrival with the climax of the song, which the audience generally receives as being part of the show. Additionally, a chorus of "INTRUDER DETECTED" is heard from throughout the crowd, and he sees about a dozen shiny metal mailbox-looking things headed his way on the ground.>>58969
"Yep. The glassy-walled rooms? Same. You know, you're like the 5th pony I've seen here, where before there weren't any."
Surely they didn't think the performance was over?
Atop a gilded lioness rides a shimmering man with sword drawn, charging towards the nearest Shazbot
Ur still an ostrich
>>58988>GM, I want to wake up in the Entertron without all my equipment too!>>58989
"Rock You Like a Hurricane" plays, and Trumpaladin casts Eagle's Splendor upon himselfhttps://youtu.be/CGfKi6kpdTQ
“Maybe the tower is less picky now?”
“So, this port is under attack a lot?”
>continues munching on popcorn
My money's on Infernius dying first, then Trump. Tracy will be the only one to survive
[1d20+31 = 51]
[3d20 = 56]
Pounce on Shazbot. Sunder nozzle
"That's an understatement. Its complicated, but the short version is that the Port is upsetting alot of established and entrenched groups and structures. It used to be a run-down pirate port, but now its a thriving and emergent socio-economic power, particularly because we - yourself included - have used our abilities to aid and develop the community. There's plenty of people who are upset, threatened, and not to pleased about this. I think the place has been attacked 3 times? 4 times? 5? Its been hairy.">>58993
Holy fucking shit mate.
This just got interesting
“Anything I can do to help you out then?”
Bridget moves a good distance away from the bots, before they explode.
Fae kicks off from the bot, nozzle severed and presumably about to enter self destruct sequence - disarmed regardless - and runs at full speed towards the next bot
Trump, oblivious to the fact that no one else is apparently armed, draws Vandereim and charges the nearest of Shazbots. Shazbot.
This immediately disperses the crowd in a frenzied panic, screams and cries issuing from every corner of the park as masses stream away and toward the gates. That Bitch is talking furiously into her ID, and the remaining Shazbots divide and close in on Trump and Infernius respectively. Now, am I interpreting it as Fae did the 20 pounce, and the rest is Trump breaking the bot's toys?
[1d20+21 = 40]
While everyone's distracted, Bridget takes advantage of the chaos to swipe another card.
You started this>Leaves to get more popcorn
In the Napoleanic wars the armies of the Austrians and the Prussians were unambiguously stronger than the army of France... but there were three of them, each one of them smaller than the French force. Napolean double marched his men to engage first an Austrian army, annihilate it, then double marched them to the next army, destroyed it, and then the same to the third force. In WW1, the Russians invaded East Prussia with a force much larger than the German force - in two armies. The Germans attacked and destroyed one, then used the rail network to quickly move their army to attack the other russian army at Tannenburg.
These Shazbots are very difficult to defeat. But taken down one by one>>59006
The 20 is Trump with sugoito, the other three are Fae
She goes for another.
How fast are they? Fae is 180 in a charge and 360 in a run. You said they were dispersed along the perimeter. They must have started far apart
160 in a charge and 320 in a run, whatever
Does Fae have Cleave?
Kek, sure why not?>>59012
Pouncing eliminates Fae's movement speed, and though they're not in range, they're bee-lining toward. I assumed Fae attacked the closest one, which would have been near him as it had not detected him as a threat.>>59013
Yes, except above
And yes, the one Fae attacked is beginning its self-destruct sequence.
Now then, roll for initiative u fags
Rolling initiative, I guess.
She can go 160 feet in the same round she pounces, but sure
"Okay, listen. If you stop until I get this cannon ordered, I'll help you get a gnome dinner."
Bluff [1d20 = 3]
>"I'll consider it"
Check motive [1d20 = 3]
My luck is spreading!
Snek is pretty sure Torc is lying, but he's hoping Torc isn't.
Torc is wary that Snek knows he's lying, but he really need to get back to ordering this cannon
Yes, but upon pouncing her movement is halted>many keks
These fuggin dice
Rolling for bots and That Bitch
Can Trumpaladin have Aura of Protection? It's a class feature of the 5e Paladin
I want that too. Or its ebil opposite.says the faggot without even knowing what it is.
Trust me. You' rather Trump
>>59026>can I have a previously unmentioned ability
Not in the middle of a fight>>59027
A rock hits Tracy in the head. It must have gotten kicked up or something. It doesn't do damage, but it really hurts.
"Ouch!" cries the leprechaun
Thez looks Stix up and down appraisingly, again crossing her arms. "Hmmm. How does a pony use a bow exactly?"
... was Infernius going to roll initiative?
“Apparently, I don’t do it well. My father could though, but I suppose I didn’t pay enough attention to how he did it to actually hit anything.”
Well.... It's not a 1
A compelling argument.>>59035
The cocks her head again, this time looking up in a random direction. She looks again in another direction before her face brightens. "I've got just the thing! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!!" she yells.
"As far as helping, it really depends. I mean there's always stuff that can be done around here, and probably more still than I'm even aware of. Currently the party has made opponents of 1. An unidentified band of pirates, 2. The former/current emperor of this geographical area - who himself is batshit crazy and stupid OP - , and potentially many other groups who haven't so much as named or identified themselves. Oh, and we've also been pissing off/on the jews.>>59036
Tracy uses her superior speed to dash far away to a safe distance where she can hide and observe, pretending to be screaming and panicking like a sane person would.
From her hiding spot she keeps an eye on That Bitch, who seems to be a figure of authority.
"And," she whispers, "I'd bet my life that they're pissing off yet another faction as we speak."
She also picks up anything that may have been dropped by the crowd, especially cards, and places her two additional ID cards (not Gorplemonger's) in her bag of holding.
“Any idea where they went off to then? Maybe I should help them out if they are into trouble.”
The bots go next, right?
Yes. I hadn't considered Tracy as a combatant at this point, and she can interject herself if she desires, but is otherwise 'concealed' by the surging crowd who are increasingly grouping together by the gates,one by one jumping through to whatever their destination is, away from here. Some of them are holding up their IDs and talking at them in ridiculously dramatic displays.
*urge to start looting like a nigger intensifies*
Tracy stays back at a very, very safe distance and observes.
Tracy reads the names of the other two identities she stole.
I guess Trumpaladin can talk as a free action out of sequence:
To the Lady:
"I came to see what was going on. I entered with my girlfriend, but then she ran off and left me and so now I do not have my ID. I was going to ask about a replacement with a representative but there were none. I mean no harm."
Otto von SchnitzelpuskraukengeBcheit MeyerThat German "B" that stans for a "sss" sound
"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme
Remember me to one who lives there
She once was a true love of mine"
So then, the Shazbots circle Trump and Infernius. They're not in immediate proximity, but that's okay cuz their breath weapon occurs at range if permitted.
Infernius rolls a 6d20 and Trump rolls a 5d20.
"Lost your ID? An example will have to be made. Pretty sure I don't recall your image from the admission forms though," she sneers.
The ring of evasion means that if he wins a saving throw, he takes no damage, rather than half damage. He has a +18 to his saving throws with eagle's splendor (added earlier). And 10 fire resistance>>59053
"Indeed one shall be made"
His saving rolls are 34, 25, 26, 27, and 31
"Tell her to make me a cambric shirt
Parsley sage rosemary and thyme
Without no seams nor needle work
Then she'll be a true love of mine"
One more card, from a girl this time.
Are you assuming Frank's gender?
*Turns self in to police*
Uh... if Trumpaladin has taken little damage, then the following
Fae: Pounce on Shazbot
Trumpaladin: Sunder nozzle on shazbot
Nevertheless, she still streaks another card.
Oh, nice try, Mr. Moderator.
I asked if Fae succeeded on her saves or not.
"Yeah, they headed off to Sparintenar, a city of one of our (few) allies. Don't worry though, I'm sure they deserve every bit of the trouble they're creating for themselves."
"And on that note, let me show you the Entertron!" she beams.
“Well, if you say so. I guess I will look around this place for a little bit and then see what kind of trouble I can get myself into... I just hope I don’t have my ass handed to me again.”
Darn it, didn’t see that
“What’s an... Entertron?”
So, what happens next?
And who's identity did Tracy steal this time?
[3d20 = 44]
Trumpaladin figures that he has misjudged the city of Cardishore. He has misjudged the portals. He misjudged his allies. And he misjudged the present situation. With no purpose, and no options, he orders Fae to jump, and to take to the sky - to fly out of range of the bots, and through the hole in the dome that lets in natural light. He self deports.
As he does so, he leaves a parting gift. A few months ago, he got in an argument with Infernius. Infernius got angry and punched him. But in compensation, he gave Trumpaladin three of the grenades that were taken from Korak's body. With quickdraw and a free action, he draws out these grenades and a lighter. With a standard action, he lights them. And with a move action, he tosses them all to the ground to the shazbots
"Oh please, that was nothing! The Entertron," she says, leading him toward a large medical facility/area, with all manner of supplies and features, "is this weird fancy gadget that can keep you alive. Basically, if your body is ever destroyed beyond repair, it does some technological shit ant makes you whole again." she putzes with a display and brings up a data screen, which list a bunch of names, including Thez, Torcuil, Trumpaladin, Tracy, etc.
"Basically, it pricks your finger and then if you get blown up it uses your blood as a template to reconstitute your(a?) body."
I g2g for at least half an hour
“But I don’t have fingers...”
Okay, sorry for the delay. The issue with the breath weapons is that I've been attempting to determine how mounted creatures count as far as sharing area-of effect symptoms. Basically what I'm finding is that due to immediate proximity, both Trump and Fae are subject to all 5 breath weapons. 2 of them hit Trump (so full damage all considered).>>59080>deadpan stare
"It takes a blood sample then.">>59079
Good question, he's being set on fire
He bursts out laughing.
“What, im not allowed to joke around with you? Oh well, it is rather impressive... I hope I don’t have to use it anytime soon.”
Thinks about it for a while.
“So, do our enemies know about this?”
"Sorry, again I'm not accustomed to dealing with so many ponies. Some of them do know about this, particularly the Emperor. We're not sure exactly what his game is, but he's from the tower also
"Allow me to demonstrate," she says, pulling out a ridiculously ornate mini-scythe (kama) and - with an observable wince - cuts her finger off. She then enters the Entertron and the finger immediately reconstitutes. "I should explain that in addition to reviving you if you get turned into a grease-spot, it also heals any damage you've sustained if you go into it willingly. The only consequence is that when you're healed, you find that,"
Its probably absurd how much I love saying this
You're still hungry.
“Cool... and slightly disturbing. And I guess it makes sense that you’re still hungry... it would be weird if it constructed food for you based off of your blood.”
I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she acts like a bitch
Well, I was waiting on Infernius' saving throws, but I suppose I can roll them myself. That Bitch is engaged in a heated discussion with someone over her ID, the general gist of it being "A dozen? I want hundreds! Arial and land! The big ones!"
>>59088>calling in the Terminators
What did they think was going to happen, going Leeroy Jenkins on one of the wealthiest nation-states in the world?
Tracy continues fiddling with her stolen devices.
It's a communication device, right? Can it tell her anything about the city?
There was literally no other option. He can't use stealth. They will not respond to diplomacy. He does not have sleight of hand to steal IDs. He could not obtain an ID by any means at all. The only option was to kill the robots one by one while they were separated on the perimeter. But apparently they can all move together in a single round. So >>59076
is all that remains to be said
How did I miss this post?
Okay. For starters, he could have just kind of gone with the crowd, waiting for an opportunity to present its self. Perhaps one of his allies might have procured an ID that he could move freely with, or perhaps some other form of circumstance could have allowed the avoidance of the spectacle.
As is, Trump attempts to make haste from the scene (prudently so) and flee the city. As he does so, he notices a number of shiny objects begin to tail him as Fae flies toward the open sky above the city.
At the same time, Infernius (or rather, Uatchit to her credit) engages some brilliant maneuvers and arial acrobatics, essentially negating any of the incoming breath weapons. To do so, he would have to have either not dismounted entirely, or he would have to have remounted, but considering the alternative is getting set on fire from 4 different directions, I'm assuming he's ok with that.
That's what this was. The opportunity.>ally
The one who ran off?>flying things
They fly on, through the opening, then down the sides of the dome, then down the road leading to Krenshall and towards his original destination
Tracy was going to offer him an ID that someone "dropped", and then disguise him with her dust.
"A decent point, except we also have replicators, which synthesize any food imaginable. I mean, it seems to me that someone could cross-reference the replicator and the entertron, especially since in a manner of speaking the entertron is
a "ppl" replicator, but that's way too technical for me," she says waving her hand dismissively.
True, Tracy did run off,... 2x,... but she's also carrying Trump's babeh, and she's not likely to abandon babeh's father. Not lastingly anyway.>>59098
This, she's got 4 now.
She waited a hell of a while to do it
Tracy move's away to the garden area that the party passed by earlier, in stealth, and buries one of her stolen ID cards there.
“Now a food replicator is something I got to see sometime. Real quick, how do you activate this thing to take a blood sample?”
She had to be discreet to steal shit. She literally just murdered Alfonso in front of a crowd to keep her cover.>ran off
Tracy can't do shit to firebreathing robots. It's more productive to stay at a distance and do what she can with her own skills.
"Put your hand,... er,... hoof here," she says, indicating what looks like a touch-screen keyboard that displays a hand-icon.>>59104
She did no such thing. The Shazbots simply dealt with an obvious intruder.
If she wants to send a message, now is her chance
He places his hoof on the screen.
And with a slight prick on his hoof, Stix probably won't die. I mean he might still, there's plenty of ways to die that supersede the Entertron, but its better than nothing!
Yeah, that whole empathic link has been kinda neglected desu
I forgot about it, desu.>>59106
Tracy isn't exactly sure what to say or do atm.
Tracy looks towards the flying lion.>'Is.. Is it time to go yet?'
He was attacked by a robot and she fled, then he went to get Fae and Tracy wondered off... Hasn't been seen or heard from since... Suffice it to say he's changing his relationship status on Facebook
>>59110>"I can't stay here, that I can tell you"
I put dust on Brad and changed Tracy's disguise several times so that they'd have the option to re-enter lawfully if things went sour. I didn't account for Fae or Infernius though...
>>59110>always wants more abilities>neglects current abilites
“Now with that taken care of, I suppose I will start wandering around this place and see what a pony has to do around here to earn a coin. I spent the last of what I had on a string for this darn bow I can’t seem to use right.”
At least I'm not as bad as Torc.
Tracy looks towards the flying figures figures as she contemplates her next step.
How many flying bots are there?
I don't ask for shit except maybe a level or two in bard...
Though I have no defense on forgetting shit...
1. Issue some sort of stay to Trumpaladin, sleight of hand an ID into Infernius of he doesn't fly off, meet up with Trumpaladin and give him an ID, then proceed as a team deeper in. Sneak attack robots if necessary with chain, or possibly ask Trumpaladin to ca her
2. Just go deeper in alone
3. Leave Cardishore
4. Some combination of the above
Things to consider
1. You cannot Sneak attack robots.
2. To give a card to Infernius, she'd have to walk up to him and hand it to him, putting herself in danger
3. Before she does anything else, she has to consider what's about to happen to her husband.
Torc wonders if the gnomes are ignoring him for fun
Tracy waits for further intentions from Brad, not sure if she should (attempt to) fly after him.
Are there any more bots in sight?
>>59121>Fly after him
and expose herself to the robots?
If she wants to meet up, he can run away from the bots and meet her at the hole, then he sneaks back in the dome and they both go in>Infernius
At least he can fly fast
Yeah.. I really dropped the ball on communication this session.. sorry..
She'd just fly while ethereal. It was only a suggestion.
Also, are you sure you can out-fly those bots?
*Waits for dialogue*
>sneaks back in
Is he bringing Fae this time? Tracy never disguised her
>>59121>"if you care, I'm being pursued by bots. I'm betting I can outrun them"
She can disguise her easy I am sure. Make her look like Pepita from Coco
Apologies, I had business related>>59115>coin
"Oh, you needn't worry about that. I mean, we're not to the level of a kingdom, but we have finances on lock.">>59120
Sorry, I forgot where he left off at, other than Snek wanting to eats and getting the cannon re-fit. I recall he mentioned the Stray Cat to the gnomes, so it would make sense that they would be retrieving the necessary schematics.
>>59127>'where do you want to meet?'
“I’m not sure I understand. By this you mean you are willing to lend me some money to purchase gear?”
>>59130>"I am running on top of the dome with Fae. But unless you have IDs I do not know how will would proceed"
>tfw you realize that the shitty coffee you were given earlier was actually decaf and ur passing out
I don't even like coffee..
>>59130>"where we came in, I would think"
The IDs we're going to be a surprise, but okay..>'I'll meet you there then.'
They're still going to be a surprise, because he still doesn't know
>>59135>'Wait! I told Infernius to seal the hole..!'
I just didn't want to cause Drama over stealing things and potentially killing Innocents.
"In a manner of speaking. We've lots of resources, means, and accounts for procuring mundane-to-fine items, and refined items are certainly negotiable. For example, we (and by that she means the port) are responsible for the most thriving jewelry trade this world has ever seen! So to say, if you need equipment or provisions, it can probably be supplied gratis.">>59134
"Huh,you'restillhere.Iwould'vethoughtyou'dhavegottentiredofitall.IwasabletolocatealltheessentialdocumentationsurroundingtheStrayCat,includingthecannonschematics.Ithinkwecanhaveaserviceablereplacementinnomorethanaweek,dependingoncraftingrolls," that older gnome casually vomits in Torcuils direction (referring to their speech method, not literally)>>59138
She did? That's news to me,... no surprise there nobully
In the message where she told him to come to Cardashil...
>>59140>(referring to their speech method, not literally)
Torc pulls out some gold he keeps for moments like this
>>59139>>59138>"do you think he sealed it? Anyways... I'm coming over there. I'm running, so I may not be able to wait..."
“Doesn’t feel right to get things for free, but I suppose I will earn my keep with the gear. I will take a look at the shops then. Thanks for you help, Thez.”
Careful myah, Snek may find himself some food, but the party might also wind up with another tag-along,...
>>59144>' I don't know.. maybe he forgot..?'
*Dashes off to where the hole may or may not be*
"I can appreciate your reticence, but consider it a dynamic where certain members of the party are strategically minded, while others are borderline jews when it comes to money (and even a legit jew). The result is that there's always more available than is needed, excepting when we get robbed by elveniggers.
"Hey!" says a voice in the distance.
Uh...Sure, I totally understand what you mean
"Listen, we gotta pick up the cannon in a week," Torc begins to leave saying his goodbye to the gnomes. "Until then I would like to keep good relations with these guys.">"What are you saying?"
"You've been seen with me. Next time we'll enter the city separately and you can have a disguise.">"Fine, I guess that makes sense"
"Good. Now, Back to the tower. The others should be back by now."
Dashes towards the hole, hoping Fae is faster than the bots
“I see... but what is a jew?”
Turns to see where the new voice is coming from.
Wait,... not through the open-top roof?>>59152
"Oh don't mind him, that's darkie. He's an elvennigger."
"Yeah, like I said, an elvennigger. He's harmless, since he realizes that we can subject him to worse than he ever imagined."
“I would love to hear that story sometime.”
He flies out through the open roof, and has land and run as soon as she is outside, to meet Tracy at the hole
Tracy wait to see what the bots are doing before she acts.
"Well, he was part of the group of elvenniggers who robbed us,... twice, but was caught because he was too cocky. Then he got tortured and mutilated, and then almost killed everyone (yes, while tortured and mutilated) and then his head got put into a bucket, and then into a metal body-cast, and then we starved him. Then
he decided to plau along," she smiles, as though detailing the process of obtaining groceries.
She should run to the hole either way. She's safe
“Wow. I’m in over my head around here aren’t I?”
She's waiting to see if the bots are about to follow them outside.
Oh yeah, Susan. I was just reading that bread the other night.
I'd forgotten the Susan bit>>59159
"Doubtful. I mean you may not know/appreciate it, but someone
thought you were an apt addition, else you wouldn't be here. No one winds up "here" unless someone/thing nominates (in a manner of speaking) them. What that means is anyone's guess, but if you're here, its cuz something powerful enough decided to put you here. Though, come to think of it, we are rather avant garde as far as our methods are concerned.
“Well, I wish I can remember what makes me worth being here... all I seem to recall from back home is my father’s disappointment and my death”
>>59162>I remembered something GM didn't
Anyway, Torc and Snek ride the airship back to the Tower with generous amounts of sea shanties and threatening to throw each other overboard
Where are the bots headed?
Has That Bitch gotten her order shipped yet?
Why wouldn't they?
She just wants to see what happens.
If they're outside, they won't be able to re-enter so easily.
They won't be able to fit through a hole of one exists, so he can go through and change disguise.
"Well, we're not the ones who determine worth. In some cases - darkie for example - characters were brought here so that they could continue to suffer. In other cases, characters were brought because some entity found them delightful. There are other examples, but the simplicity of it all is that there are no end of reasons why one finds themselves here, and often times it is to fulfill a purpose that is outside of what the individual may previously have assumed.">>59165
The bots form a perimeter ring around the top of the wall, maintaining constant visual with at least 3 others, and collectively maintaining 360x360 surveilance.Including
the spot with the hole in the wall
“I guess that makes sense. From my memory, I committed suicide. So I guess this is my second chance of sorts.”
"Oh," she says, visibly affected by the mention.
>>59169>Including the spot with the hole in the wall
Fug.>'Looks like they're onto us. Slipping out, let alone back in won't be easy...'
Stix takes notice of this.
“Does that surprise you?”
"I rolled a 1 on my Spot check." Tracy says aloud for no reason
Tracy tries to see if Infernius is still not-incinerated.
"No its,... I mean I suppose not,... I just wasn't expecting,..." her voice trails off.>>59174
He did well on his saving throws, so "not yet" at the moment, but he's also non-responsive
"I wonder if Death would mind dinner when I get back.">"I'm still trying to figure out how you actually got her to date you."
"Fucking mystery to me mate.">>59175>inb4 Infernius becomes an inferno
I was referring to how she died: didn't even get the privilege to know what hit her.
>>59172>"Do you have anyway of evading them?"
“You seem a little upset by this. Do you want to talk about it?”
>>59179>'not that I know of.. They're everywhere. It won't be simple to cut a hole like last time.'
“I don’t mind if you don’t”
>>59174I figure I may as well share the death story I had for Tracy, since I've never published it anywhere and I may as well share it some time.
Brad Sentry had been elected to the US Senate,
and was proceeding on a Bill that would have exposed lines of funding. He walked towards the Congress building with a group of senators of his party and the US president, as well as his then wife. As he walked, Tracy jumped from bushes and towards him with a knife, having apparently evaded the secret service for that long. As she did so, she had to jump an enormouse number of feet to close the distance (she was far away but a hell of a lot further than you'd think she could get), and in that time was shot two dozen times from two mp5 sub-machine guns from secret service agents.
She crawled some feet, and with her final heart beat, looked to Brad. The secret service agents had by this time forced everyone down in low, prone positions in place. Brad realized that she had gotten to far to spring all of a sudden... something must have forced her to act so early. He noticed from the trail of blood that she was not actually heading for him, or his wife. He looked towards where her path was taking her, and saw that the man next to him had a gun aimed at him. Quickly, he disarmed the man. A fellow senator of Brad's party at this point said fuck it, pulled his own gun, and shot Brad, killing him
>>59182>"If only we had IDs it would be easy enough to escape them. Maybe if I can get in line later I can get in next time..."
Gotta run for about 1/2 hour, sorry>>59183
Will respond asap
It’s fine. See you soon.
I look forward to your return>"Yes but WHY where there fifteen men on the chest with a bottle of rum?"
"I don't know, it's just a song"
>>59185>'That dust will last about another hour. After that, you could re-enter legally. Get as far away as possible in the mean time.'
>>59190>"What will you do? Those bots will be coming for you and you do not have an ID
I think I might make Bridget my main Disguise (like Thez's hippie guy). She's grown on me.
Idk how else to spin it, so she'll be blunt:>'I murdered a guy for his card. I swiped a couple others too; their owners are probably dead'
Tbqh desu senpai, that
was actually why I didn't use the link. I figured Paladins plausibly couldn't accept stolen things, or those pilfered through murder.
But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?
>>59194You could have worded it differently>"....
Fuck it. I'm running for the hole. Meet me there. I'm either figuring out what the hell is going on now or never">>59195>But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?STOP ABUSING YOUR SPECIAL PONY POWERS
On the bright side, with Gorplemonger dead, she can assume his ego.>>59196
Tracy moves towards wall where the hole was, flipping through Alfonso's card and looking at various selfies and whatnot to try to get a grasp of his personality.
This should summon Infernius' faggot
On Fae he runs straight for the hole
Weren't there mailboxes there too though?
I hope you don't think I drew that
Editing colors as good as you do is still worth cheering on.
Shit, I guess I outta edit some moar then..
Watching, yes. The point is to go through before they can do much damage
That Bitch never made her turn on that initiative.
Did she do anything besides yell on her phone?
Yelling on the phone is doing something
Tracy moves back to monitor Infernius's situation.
Mr. Gorplemonger is quite alive, see here he's adopted this lovely mantis outfit cuz reasons>>59207
She's the reason there's a grip of arial bots in pursuit, as well as a variety of other bots that haven't gotten introduced yet cuz>flee
It would (and still may, waiting on Infernius) be a slaughter.
Thez <whooof> vanishes into a swirling tuft of smoke. A few moments later (less than a minute) she reappears with an ornate flask full of a clear liquid. She looks at Stix for a moment, shakes her head and sits down in one of the available chairs.
They're a the tower now yes? Torcuil would be arriving imminently.
Can Tracy make out what level of access Gorplemonger had with his card? He acted
like he was important.
around here acts important. Assuming that Tracy ventured near one of the gates, she would find that the ID lights up with several options including:
Home, Shopping, and Social.
“What’s that for?”
He points to the flask
Tracy decides to give the gate a shot.>Home
Trumpaladin darts to get through the hole as quickly as possible>>59212>"If you have an extra card, come to the hole Tracy, now or never"
>>59216>'There are mailboxes there though.'
Fuck>>59217>"You told me you had a card. Do they follow you yes or no?"
Isn't Tracy involved in a plot to get an ID to Trump, Infernius, and Fae? I'm not saying "don't", but seriously, she's not that ADD is she?
>>59218>'I don't know if they follow me, but at least they won't flame me while I have the card...>'Thing is, if they see me going through the hole, they'll know what's up.'
Are there bots by the hole or not?
>>59220>ITT Tracy overestimates the sophistication of the Shazbot programming>>59221
No, but they are in view of the hole, as well as the entirety of the perimeter.
Fuck it then.
Tracy leaves Infernius for dead and moves towards the wall.
"The green stuff gives me heartburn," she says. "Plus, I've so many inhibitions that I can't speak candidly without booze. Something to work on I suppose, but for now it works."
Drinking during pregnancy is not to be advised.
>>59220>"I thought you were disguised? Whatever. If I do not receive a card I am dead">>59223He can fly faster that Trump, and has all sorts of very useful magic like Sanctuary or Ethereal Jaunt or Dimension gate. But I think his strategy would be similar to Trump's
Tracy goes towards the hole.
>>59225Considering the fetus jacked a regen stone from the principle, I'm weighing that it'll be fine
>>59228Wouldn't that also make her unable to get drunk, like Captain America?
>>59229No, because I'm the GM and I say so
Fucking squeezes through the hole as quickly as he can. Fae first, since she has a lower save bonus
“I don’t remember too much... think you can help me out and ask me questions? That may jog my memory on some details.”
Damn right! I could have made all kinds of more or less douchy-calls based on whim, that this is the one I've done so far is a testament! Xp>>59231
So Trump is seriously making straight for the hole in spite of surveilance?
Fine, he throws a rock in another direction first. Then
runs straight for the hole
His options are 1. give up on Cardishore, and 2. go through the hole and hide once inside
Go ahead.>'I'll be here, Flashy. Tell me your plan once you get through.'
Those aren't his only options, those are just the only options he's entertaining, right now, that justify immediate involvement/participation Xp
>>59239>"Once I am through the hole that will lose the flying ones and the ones outside. Then we get cards and change disguises, then hide in a house and wait for infernius... then we go through the gates
If he waits an hour Tracy will be gone and the window will have passed.
I guess Infernius is a pretty good distraction, but again, tracy will be gone by that time
>>59241>'How do we meet once we're through? I don't want to blow my cover..'
Tracy disguises herself as a janitor, getting ready to feign sweeping up Infernius's ashen remains, should he be incinerated.
>repeats of last voyage with slight differences
Did Snek actually throw Torc off this time?
Yeah srsly, wtf happened to Infernius?>>59244
Not sure what you mean by that, but considering this was a scenario where "Observe, do nothing." was the A++ answer,....
No, this time it was a Broadway musical retelling of the voyage
>>59243>"Hand me a card. Or if you're that scared, just leave two cards at the hole and I'll run through myself. I'll take my chances. But I think you're ascribing a level of intelligence to these machines that they simply don't have"
>>59248>'You'll need to make sure your disguise matches your ID one we go through the gates. Not sure how well I can dress up Fae though..'
Tracy walks in that direction
Torc and Snek are heading back to the tower in the ship>>59245
No, Torc almost threw Snek off...
Don't ask me how that works>>59247
SOOOO put that thing back where it came from or so help me!
You've pushed ten feet of snek off.... but most of him is still on the airship>>59249>"alright..."
The dust is only +10 disguise btw.
I was going to use it as a fallback, so that the party would have the option to re-enter lawfully as their own selves if they got caught.
It'll still work on her, but she might be recognized. It won't be easy to dress her up as her card ID though.
>>59253>"We'll hide in a house"
Wish I could make an item that did the same with Bluff too. Then she'd be set.
My money is on Snek desu>>59256
U mean like a mask? "Smirk"
I love my +25 bluff bonus
I meant like her Dust of Illusion, only for bluff, but yes. It'd be great to upgrade her Mustache-and-glasses.
Too bad sorcerers don't get Glibness>"Sir! Your gold is cursed! You need to give it to us so that it won't kill you.">Rolls 1d20+54
That fucking settles it
BARD LEVELS HERE I COME
Um.... Trumpaladin goes through the wall
At least get to 9th level spellcasting first.
>>59260>tfw game mechanics have NPCs as complete knobs
"Oi, I've got this small square peg that fits loosely in this big round hole, but I don't know what to do with this big round peg. Also, there's a small square hole I can plug with my finger"
>tfw Torc has mystic Theurge but still can't cast divine spells>>59263
That's literally why he got Theurge, so he can cast divine spells
?Does this mean I can pick a domain?
Stix sits down and seems lost in thought.
Well, GM hasn't incinerated Trump yet so I'm guessing he was able to make it through...
*immediately grabs IDs for self and Fae from whoever is standing near the hole*>>59269"You must kill them all"
No, it means he can cast divine spells. I thought we went over this a long time ago.>>59270I'm waiting on Infernius dammit
He's not going to be here soon
What list tho?
Cleric, Paladin, Druid, or Ranger?
There isn't really a divine spell list
The spell list. Theurges don't do "domains" or w/e, they just cast spells.
I thought they just advanced whatever Divine spellcasting class they already had?
Would you mind linking me this spell list?
Because Theurges build upon character's spellcasting in both
arcane and divine determined by their class, and Torc can't cast divine spells
Just post good memes and you'll get appropriate spells for them.
But I don't wanna do that
AwwwHow do you know that?
Okay well I'll wrap up his situation then.
When we last left Infernius, he was being set on fire. He got some really nice dice rolls, and some really crappy ones.>>59276
It seems you're right.>>59277https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Spells
Tracy is right, he only gets 1st level divine spells at this point. Its a pity too, cuz I misinterpreted the data (I thought that being a theurge allowed the caster to use their caster level to determine the arcane/divine spells they could cast)>>59279
Don't be a lazy faggot.
You only get all those spell haxx because we like memes.
Not to be contentious - and I will accommodate to an appropriate degree - but wasn't the meme magician thing your
By "your" I mean Torcuil's
It was mine, actually.>>1217 →
I made a fucking spell list damn it>>59283
But there are no "1st level divine spells" that I can find, only classes that use divine spells>>59286
I regret that idea
Turns out Torc qualifies for absolutely 0 prestige classes.>>59292
So does this mean Torc casts as a second level cleric?
You could be a archmage, if you take any metamagic feat, or an edritch knight if you learned martial weapon profficiency.
Dragon's Disciple too.
Negotiably, yes. Tbh, I had thought theurge was a haxx for equal cleric spells, but I had been operating in err
Oh wait, I almost forgot I'm GM>pouf Torcuil's Theurge level(s?) are exchanged for meme magican levels
Did you consider those Paladin of Tyranny/Slaughter spells for Tracy yet?
Basically here's the thing. I had envisioned, intended, and resolved that the skinniest-assed MF'er (Torcuil) was gonna get spell hax. Since I determined long ago that many divine spells should be arcane equally/also, and vice versa, and THEN stumbled across Theurge, I figured this was a neat and easy resolution. Unfortunately, I was wrong. So, in the same vein of TRUMP GOOD, now there's Meme Magican (sp intentional) as a class
You mean sorcerer...
I will damned, something Torc is actually qualified for
Got a reference/link or am I flying blind>>59299
I'm still trying to allow him to use cleric spells. Do you want me to not?
While we're handing out gibs can I have Divine Might for Trumpaladin? Maybe Sacred Shield? The "rebalanced paladin" includes two bonus feats including those from the Divine Champion
Oh, okay. What Blackguard should
have been. Makes sense.>>59302
Links faggot, am drunk
I'd rather Torc just be a sorcerer.
I mean, I have a spell list and shit for a lvl 17 sorcerer And I wasn't really enjoying meme maging as much as I thought I would...
Just meme a wizard to do the magic for you
>>59305>tfw I'm now the party disappointment>>59306
Just meme Gandalf or someone to fight for you and do cool stuff and cast the spells you want
Not disappoint, just,... disappoint Xp
Seriously, I had hoped that giving Torc clerical spells (again, cuz lots of specific spells - Airwalk for example - should be cross-class spells) would be of benefit
Yeah, you should've taken Divine Might a while ago..
I only never bothered with it because Tracy's Char is so low.>Sacred Shield
Is there a profane equivalent?
I am of confusion>>59309
I just wasn't enjoying the whole gimick, it was fun at first, but then it just kinda drug on.
Say what you will, but that "Oh lawd Jesus" post was one of the finest moment of game desu. Still we can re-work it if it is preferrable
Uh... what bread was that?
Oh, like I know off hand, I don't even remember the context. You do realize we account for about 57k of the 59k posts on this board?
This one? >>8492 →Please be patient. I have autism.
>>59315This one as well...>>9469 →
Stix feels around his cloak for his dagger and remembers it was thrown in battle with Thez.
Precisely that one>4 digits
Were we ever so young?
Can we cite SRD sourcebooks?
I've had my eye on Arterial Strike.
Its still stuck in the support-beams of the port walls. Don't worry tho, mundane daggers are a dime a dozen and easily replaceable (ask Tracy Xp)
Nigger, you've already asked for gibs tonight
Not to Stix. That one his sentimental to him.
Oh no. Its a seriously exhaustive manual.>RIP my spare time>>59323
Noted. The dagger in question is unmoved, for precisely the same reason
I want Divine Vigor, if we can take stuff from that book.
Tracy's faggot insists Divine Might is SRD
>>59323>Stix Dagger's are special
Tracy lost all
of her weapons, including her "dark" and "edgy" knives when she handed them over to the security at Cardishore five months ago
I noticed that feats are introduced by sourcebooks, but the feats that were considered to be balanced made it into the 3.5 SRD.
Divine Might is worth training for.
*desire to retrieve daggers intensifies*
It looks like Infernius's faggot won't be returning tonight, so I'll be in bed soon.
And who's fault was that?>>59269
Amist all the,... contention, Thez sits relatively before Stix, sipping "gently" from a glass of clear liquid, and wondering about how to proceed.
"So,... do you,... regret,... killing,...."
"Just wait for me, girls..." Tracy says under her breathIn my defense, I didn't expect to get teleported in the middle of security.
“Myself? That’s the funny thing. I remember right before I did it thinking that it must be done. Like I was doing everyone a favor by doing it. I partially wish I didnt, but I don’t know if it was avoidable.”
Infernius entered the discord just now
Welp, found an old post of mine that will always be relevant >>6560 →
In the meantime, I'm hoping Torc and Snek arrive before they kill eachother
>>59332No response to >>59184? Okay...
I’m hoping they arrive so Stix can properly meet them. Torc only got a couple of phrases out before Stix when after Tracy... and left him.
Yeah, should be good...
Sorry about leaving you
[3d20 = 30]
Kill all metalniggers!
What was the fate of Trumpaladin's parting gift to the