Welcome to the next RPGame thread, continuing from where the previous thread - https://mlpol.net/vx/res/4910.html
- left off.
The party now sits within a floating crystal (a double-terminated Chesterhedron, if anyone is bored) that was previously a pyramid buried in the ground.
A wealth of resources and opportunities are now available, and many players seem to have actionable goals and aspirations with regard to.
Infernius is currently in the forge, to speak with (or simply observe) Lenos doing what he does best. Tracy has gained a minimal proficiency with thrown kunai, Trump has grand aspirations to turn Port Barry into a thriving population center and focal point for a developing relig-nat-soc society centered around the most Holy and High concept of John Elway, Football, and (Elway willing) His Denver Broncos, with equal emphasis on Rockwell and his designs. Torcuil has much to ponder and develop, except he's distracted cuz THERE'S A FUKKIN' UNICORN!, and Thez is in MOST high spirits simply because not only has she re-acquired her lost record contract, but,... no that's pretty much it for her.
Welcome to the Game, for those unfamiliar and/or new. I'll caution against detractors for a variety of reasons I won't elucidate, just saying it will not go how you plan.
Please, ladies and gentlemen, fillies of all ages, let the games resume.
Thread theme: https://href.li/?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-Dh3ftkRAs
To start things off Thez appears before Tracy and asks (pointedly) "Can I have it back now? Ordinarily the party would get mass-raped when my tail is stolen, but the GM-faggot was distracted and forgot to play that part out."
>>5697>back turned, in the process of squeezing the blood out of "it"
*notices Thez, and turns*
*begrudgingly hands "it" back, and fucks off*
"Thank you!" she calls after, admiring Tracy as she departs.
Wait, did she just collect some of Thez' blood? I honestly don't KNOW what that will mean, but I'm certain it will be interesting!
>>5701>did she just collect some of Thez' blood?
a fukkin unicorn?
A fukkin unicorn, its in the stable.
"Don't trust her. She's a total cunt."Also, wtf were the mechanics behind her being invulnerable to my attacks last time? Was it some kind of spell? I can't find anything in DnD section on unicorns or /mlp/ that fits the ticket (in /mlp/ universe, they're prone to turn into pussies when their horns are touched, like Goku's tail).
The spell is "Ethereal Jaunt", and it allows the user to become temporarily insubstantial.
>>5704>bolts to stable
Hello majestic creature
"Greetings, smelly human," the unicorn smiles at you.
Oi, what ye know 'bout Scotland?
"Scotland? As in "Earth"? I have heard of this place, but have never ventured. Several of my kind are rumored to have ventured its vast and expansive green-land. I am told it is a most wonderful place. Is that where you are from?"
Yes, and I have been looking for an...
like you as a companian
>>5712>inb4 unicorn secks
"Oooh, how suggestive of you," she says almost innocently. "I like the sound of a 'companion', it has been some time."
She chuckles to herself.
"Do you have a name good Scotsman? I have many names, but of them I prefer the name "Trollestia"."
NO NO NO
That's not what I meant>>5716>Trollestia
"My name is Torcuil, The meme mage"
>>5718You said a unicorn,....
"A pleasure my good Torque-wrench. I trust we will have lots of fun together," she smiles.
I'll be back in about an hour
"Don't fap, I know I'm sexy," she calls after.
I was going to do everything in my power to Fuck this unicorn, but now I'm afraid
Actually, upon further consideration, let it happen
I did say it would be a shit-storm, and I wasn't (entirely) talking about Tracy. ^_~
ill fuck it before you do.
Nuh uh! Also she may be a thot, but she's still a lady. The pronoun is "her">using the wrong pronouns
she want that bmc bro
I think she only likes Paladins
>>5729>hitting on the wizard
And not the cow-thing
infernuis hasent met her yet.
I think we both know who she'd choseThe answer is Trumpaladin
>>5733>>5723>*teleports behind you*>unstealth
"I'm here for you, Flashy."
babby hands compared to infernuis.
"So what do you guys wanna do now? I mean we can kill stuff, or we can explore, or we can beat eachother senseless (in a very pinkie-pie sort of nonchalant tone), I'm okay with whatever!" Thez is standing on the ceiling, inverted.
"I'm not so sure about that"
>>5741Thez really ought to take a sort of ownership of Inferius. Obviously not to the extent Tracy does with Trump, but she should be jealous given their past *cough* relationships *cough*, heart-felt exchanges at the bar and deeper feeling of connection, and also to maximize the drama
>>5743Oh, she 'likes' Infernius, but she WANTS Tracy
>>5744Come and get some, you butt-ugly bitch!
infernuis asks lennos if he needs some help forgeing.
It shouldn't come as a surprise, Thez is psychotic with a penchant for murder and violence. Tracy is,....
Similar personalities do not always get along, sodomite.
Surprised at the 'sudden' appearance of Infernius (he was fixated). "Oh, its you. What was your name again? Furnace? Hmmm," he looks at the great-sword strapped to your back.
"Oi, ya wanna hand me that?"
infernuis also feel sadend by this statement.
He's a dick, don't take it personally. Besides, its not that Thez DOESN'T like you (she really does), but she also likes a challenge (read >rape).
[6d6 = 17]>>5756
He inspects it from a few different angles, checking its straight-ness, its flexibility, and taps it a few times against the forge.
"Not bad, but lemme try something."
He places it in one of the larger forges and waits a moment, lighting a cigarette from some of the flames spewing outward (singeing a few hairs in the process). After a few moments of it resting in the forge, it begins to take on the characteristic reddish-glow of increased temperature. He quickly pulls it out, and belches all over it. The belch spews napalm all over the entirety of the blade, which he quickly throws back into the forge.
"Almost done," he says, still behind the goggles (they're a bit big and comical for his size). He takes another drag and then pulls the sword, literally on fire and crackling, before whipping it neatly into an oil quench. While it sits in there, he casts firestorm, turning the entire forge-area into a momentary inferno.
I'm surprised, I thought that would hurt more.
As the sword cools, he does a quick cantrip, and illuminated runes appear on the outside of the quench, which makes a distinct "crack" as it splits open, spilling oil out the side. He pulls the sword out, now blackened and slightly irregular and hands it to you.
It is warm to the touch, despite having fully cooled. He gestures toward a training dummy. "Try it out," he suggests.
"Oh, the command word is "Burn""
Alright, after the incredible haul last night, Trumpaladin has an ambitious set of plans. Overflowing with energy, Trumpaladin begins his day at 3AM, convincing Lenos to move the Pyramid to Port Barry, then securing and auditting the treasury. When that is accomplished, Trumpaladin meets with business leaders of the construction, masonry, carpentry, and other industries in Port Barry. There, he casts the spell THE ART OF THE DEAL to secure amazing contracts to begin construction on a library for magical knowledge in Port Barry, a Stadium-Cathedral for Football, and a monastery-school for Port Barry. Next, Trumpaladin uses the magic of RALLY to deliver a speech before a crowd of the citizenry of Port Barry. He tells them of the coming public works projects, of the jobs he's bringing, and of his intent to secure favorable trade deals. He inspires several to follow him. After this, he spends most of the day with a number of individuals who will compete to become managers of Trumpaladin Franchises. Accordingly, trump casts THE APPRENTICE to determine who has what it takes to be a manager for him. the winners will form the core of his new mendicant order, which will convert Port Barry to Football, train and develop a monastic order that will educate the citizens of Port Barry, train a secular clergy for the new Cathedral, and eventually convert the planet
i go over to the dummy point my sword at it and say "Burn"
The sword blade ignites in flames, which though warm to the feels do not damage you in any way.
Noted, and to commence as soon as this is done with Infernius and his (now) Flaming Burst Claymore
[1d20 = 20]>>5763
is my blade a flame now? or is it just on fire? either way i attack the dummy>>5761
holy shit dude good plan, do you care if i train some preists aswell?
You can certainly try
Okay, this was going to happen even if you DIDN'T roll a crit, but since you did,....
As the sword (which is a whole and complete blade wreathed in flames) Explodes in flames that quickly consume the dummy.
"Oh shit! That worked better than I expected! I didn't think the napalm would take, I was just going for fire!"
The sword is embued with fire (when "Burn" is stated, and is smothered with the word "Shush") dealing an additional 1d6 damage. In addition, on a successful crit (regardless of the additional damage of the sword AND the fire) does yet an additional damage of 1d10, exploding and dousing the victim in napalm, which its self is a lingering fire.
NOW is when Trump enters and begins his plan, which since it involves conquest and all that, Lenos is actually cool with.
Meanwhile, as the building moves away from its original position and drifts toward Port Barry, a lone figure can be seen near the treeline, looking up at the departing building, with a small device in his hand.
As the sword *strikes the dummy....
>>5768>the call that saved the game
[6d20 = 67]>>5771
Unless a 20, I'm pretty sure no one noticed.
Yeah, no one noticed. Consider it foreshadowing.
I was going to eat that tail in the last thread, but decided against it in the last moment...
*unfs in awe*
Alright. As the building drifts toward Port Barry, several of the rampart ballistae fire ineffectively at the building (they're not geared toward elevated targets). As it begins to hover overhead, many of the citizens and guards gather at various points along the wall and in the plaza, both in fear and awe. They never expected nor anticipated a floating crystal, and yet dude,... there's a floating crystal. As Trump begins to steel himself for the grand oration he is to deliver, Vandereim whispers to him "Oi lad, hold me aloft, and jump down to 'em. That'll rustle their jimmies!"
*peers over edge*
"They seem pretty butthurt down there..."
Trumpaladin jumps down to a set of speakers playing "Shoot to Thrill"http://youtu.be/4gDch1p4c_M
*jumps after, with an excited cackle*
Lenos takes advantage and uses the tower to blast the song over some sort of PA system. Trump, leaping magnificently (his armor, his gleaming sword, his complete abandon) descends to the ground at a safe speed, to deliver his rousing speech to the people of Port Barry who, having NEVER seen ANYTHING like this are entirely transfixed.
[2d12 = 20]>>5779
... that was not the best idea. It won't kill you, but it does hurt.
Trump of course, is sure to have the appropriate lighting conditions
>There, he casts the spell THE ART OF THE DEAL to secure amazing contracts to begin construction on a library for magical knowledge in Port Barry, a Stadium-Cathedral for Football, and a monastery-school for Port Barry. Next, Trumpaladin uses the magic of RALLY to deliver a speech before a crowd of the citizenry of Port Barry. He tells them of the coming public works projects, of the jobs he's bringing, and of his intent to secure favorable trade deals. He inspires several to follow him. After this, he spends most of the day with a number of individuals who will compete to become managers of Trumpaladin Franchises. Accordingly, trump casts THE APPRENTICE to determine who has what it takes to be a manager for him. the winners will form the core of his new mendicant order, which will convert Port Barry to Football, train and develop a monastic order that will educate the citizens of Port Barry, train a secular clergy for the new Cathedral, and eventually convert the planet.
The people of Port Barry join in a tumultuous cheer. There's easily 500+ present in the plaza, with many more in the surroundings.>>5782
Of course he does, Thez is a performer and can do those things. I'm not even bothering to roll, cuz his 'hand' is stacked.
*hobbles to feet*
>>5783Put me into the scene too. REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
"We will Make Port Barry Safe Again, we will make Port Barry Work Again, and we will MAKE PORT BARRY GREAT AGAIN!"
Of course you're in the scene! You were the first to land, and in spite of the pain (oh she's had WAY worse), they know you're part of the same group/team. In fact, seeing you fall from such a height and shrug it off only increased the group's image and yours personally.
>>5787>who said playing a hoers grants -2 charisma?
>>5786>unrelented cheers and many hats fly into the air.
This truly is not what they expected when they woke up in the morning, let alone when the crystal started hovering overhead. They thought it was doom, and instead here is the promise of prosperity and emergence. The town is quite wholly (perhaps with a few exceptions cuz there's always contrarians) in favor of this magnificent golden-haired man with his gleaming armor and sword, who was party to the elimination of the rats which already improved their situation, now promising increasingly better circumstances and prosperity. What's NOT to love?
Well if you're referring to the ability mods for Dwarves or Half-orcs, don't worry I was gonna waive that. I was thinking +1 Str +1 Con, -1 Wis, -1 Dex.
Trumpaladin can have sidekicks
And, even that was just guideline. Tracy is going to be naturally and appropriately dexterous so don't worry about the dex, and the -Con was cuz as a pony she's kinda skinny.
Awakened hoers is +4 Strength, +2 Constitution, -2 Intelligence, -2 Charisma, but I guess that'd only account for the feral form...
I'll consider it, but I'm wary of 'other ppls' homebrew. There are plenty of fags who make homebrew. Me, not excluded
Trump ends with a call to help volunteer work on his Cathedral, and to convert to the One True Football, attributing his success to Football
Dozens of city-folk surge forward; peasants, tradesmen/women, soldiers, etc. (no politicians tho Xp), all eager to learn more, to touch that MAGNIFICENT man, or just caught up in the moment.
>>5794Don't consider it too hard. I didn't even know what homebrew means.
Homebrew = user generated (may be good, may be shit)
Trumpaladin has a table to sell his book, "Think Football and kick ass," written by him actually ghost written by someone else
to the peasant who approach
This one seems pretty reasonable (I suspect it was an MLP fan). Works for me.
Thez where did she come from
whispers in his ear "Don't be a jew, we've got plenty of money."
>>5799>it was written by infernuis.
Trump responds, "regardless, they need to read about Football."
"The money is just a way of keeping score, for my Flashy."
*Eyes shop displaying wedding dresses in the background*
STOP TRYING TO FUCK THE UNICORN
If it happens it happens
Yay! Torcuil is back!>>5804
You know, even before this display the city is willing to cater to the party,....>>5803
"Do they look like readers? Just give it to them before they start to second-guess."
"Way ahead of you. And it's available on audiobook as well"
Oi, ye better believe>>5806
I said no shaggin' de unicorn ye one eyed cunt
I will galdly support your ship, if you respect mine (but I swear, if you ever try to get in the way of our love, I'll shove a knife into her pooper, and strangle you with her intestines!)
"For FREE!" Thez interjects with a microphone. Yes, she has a microphone. The crowd cheers in response.
Meanwhile, in the stable, Trollestia chuckles at the proceedings.
unicorn get minotaur dick
"Showmanship," she taunts as she wanders about the crowd, gesturing to and fro and whipping (political-style) the crowd into increased interest and participation.
>>5810Am I goona have to start speaking in french so y'all don't misinterpret my meanings?>>5812
Trump is genuinely peeved at Thez evidently taking revenge for Trumpaladin taking all of the jewels, but he's glad to see that his book is wanted, and it's good to get the word of Football out
>>5812GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND, BEFORE I DUMP ALL OF MY EROTIC /MLP/ PASTA!!!
"oh please, you simpleton">>5809
You think that hottie over there belongs to you alone, do you?
Do you mean "WTF has happened?"
Surely you're familiar with the anime-gesture of pulling one eye open and sticking the tongue out?
No. Not in the least
I meant a description of Trollestia>>5818
Fuck you>>5810B E G O N E T H O T
>>5822>Description of Trollestia
Pic related, except a white mane/tail and no crown or shoes.
how about we go to trollestria and let her decide.
>>5825So long as she doesn't make the wrong decision.
I don't know what I expected
Be glad I didn't go with Molestia
Trumpaladin has in mind pic related. If not this, then Trumpaladin will import this from this planet's equivalent of Slovakia
"Oh she'll chose me"
"Why would she want a cow?"
Can I leave now?
fucking children...>walks off
why would she want a monkey in armor?
"You know what, there's an easy way to settle this. Under the common law rules of property, ownership in a feral animal vests in he who first captures it - the rule of capture. That'd be Tracy. I don't believe she's been formally transferred to Tourcil, so Tracy still owns her."
"Tracy, can I have the Unicorn?">>5835
Right. So. The party is all assembled, and the city-folk are in a jubilant frenzy, taking up both books and audio-books (not sure how that works, but I'll just leave it, kind of like hammers in MLP) and volunteering/offering themselves to participate in Trump's grand design. The whole city is in celebration.
And that's when HE shows up.
High in the air, what appears an elderly human literally walks nonchalantly on the air, laughing at the proceedings.
"What a remarkable display. I'm quite impressed"
Trumpaladin senses a threat
i cast detect jew.
>>5836>You know what, there's an easy way to settle this. Under the common law rules of property, ownership in a feral animal vests in he who first captures it - the rule of capture. That'd be Tracy. I don't believe she's been formally transferred to Tourcil, so Tracy still owns her.">Feral
Pretty sure talking horses don't count as feral
Yeah he do.
Thez' eyes turn red, all mirth and enjoyment blasted away.
Oh, he's more than a jew in this world
I cast capitalist sheild
He snaps his fingers and the shield dispels as it was cast.
REEEEEEEEEEEE THIS SITUATION SHOULDN'T BE HAPPENING!!! A UNICORN'S NATURAL TELEPORTING ABILITIES SHOULD'VE ONLY BEEN ABLE TO TRANSPORT HER TO THE EDGE OF THE FOREST!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
"It has been quite some time since I've seen humans so,... animate. Whatever could be the cause of such revelry?" he condescendingly bantz.
A 'normal' unicorn, yes
>>5846>Severe autistic screeching
"... bitches..." she aswers under her breath>>5849You'd better make her abilities clear later. I don't want an albino Starlight Glimmer in this story.
George continues, "And what have we here! A paladin am I right? I do sooooo love the taste of Paladin, with a healthy crowd of innocents to boot!" He continues.
Thez looks at Trump (and whoever is near, its kinda inspecific at the moment, but non consequentially): "This is BAD," she's serious.
Trumpaldin comes out to great the aging man he believes he once saw in a Steven Spielberg and George Lucas film.
"We're making Port Barry Great again" he answers with confidence
Soros, huh>furiously checks spells for something useful
>>5852>implying I'll let anyone else get a taste of my Paladin
"And who are you, Sir?"
"quickly," he whispers, "Set up a twitter account for me. We're going to need it"Think of Childish insults to call Palpentine over there
"ARE you now? Quite a noble sentiment little human! I'm impressed enough that I won't kill you outright! To whom have I the pleasure of,... meeting (it sounds like he says 'eating')?"
[1d20 = 15]
infernuis jumps from the crystal towards the king kike and says burn
"I am Trumpaladin. Former Guard of the Emperor and now the liberator and restorer of Port Barry"
[1d20 = 3]>>5858
OOOoooooggggghhh! That's right!
"It's a means to insult people before a large audience. Just do it"
"And I am his lawfully-wedded wife and noble steed, Tracy Cage!" the pale horse declares proudly
[1d20 = 20]
Sigh. He swats you aside effortlessly. "Cute, is this your milk-cow Trumpaladin? I am Soros, master of the Abyss, lord of the damned and king of all that is unholy!"
"HORSESHIT! You have no legitimate claim to the throne!" Thez yells from the crowd.
"A familiar voice? Most curious! Step forward!" He reaches his hand out and clenches his fist.
Thez grounds herself and observably resists his actions.
>>5864Would disintegrate work on this bastard?
Make us some meme, dumb frog summoner!
I don't think so....
[1d20 = 3]
Sweet! She succeeded, and she disappears.
He scans the crowd to determine who spoke (both Thez and Tracy)
"SHE IS NOT MY WIFE OR MILK COW!"
With a 20,... but disintigrate isn't necessarily an instant kill
me dont think so i say from the inside of a colapsed building.
>>5868>*offers soccer ball*
"I SWEAR TO GOD TRACY!"
[1d20 = 16]>>5870>20
anything else and nothing happens
KEK SAVE ME>>5872
Fuck off with soccer
"I have to do SOMETHING with them!"
ME A BULL YOU KIKE REEE
"YOU CAN BURN THEM"
"Are you now, little pony. You know, we have plenty of places in the Abyss for the likes of you. Wait, you smell of blood. Why would a pony smell of blood I wonder? No matter," he turns again to Trump.
"Is this then your congregation?" he gestures above the crowd.
"And set all the spirits free?! That's crazy!"
>>5878>gold-steel>from an enemy you would meet soon>Soros is Jew
I still have my rapier, right?
>>5879I will do this with all of the villains, until it something happens.
"They are Port Barry">>5880
"If that ball is good for anything, it's as a dodgeball"
I swear to God I will deport you
[1d20 = 3]>>5876
infernuis whispers kek towords kike
Trump, take my sword
The impure gold will be his weekness
[1d20 = 14]>>5882
Not THAT one,....>>5874
Did you just try and disintigrate him?>>5885
"Ahahahahah! Most interesting, most INTERESTING! A bull who knows the word of chaos! There is more here than meets the eye! I'm going to take my time with this! Starting with-" and he's cut off.
Trump wields now both Vanderiem and Tourcil's sword,
"WE WILL NO LONGER SURRENDER THIS CITY OR ITS PEOPLE TO YOUR FALSE SONG!"
[6d12 = 23]
From the heavens (remember that time she fell from the sky and punctured the giant's brain? That's a particular technique of hers) Thez lands a two-footed falling stomp technique that knocks George solidly to the ground, she falling near to him, the both a small distance from Trump, Tracy, Torcuil, the crowd, and (in a slightly different direction) Infernius."
>>5887What does he fucking say?!
"Psst! Boy! That sword is sheit! Grab me with both of yer wee hands!"
Sorry, he completely disregards the soccer ball. I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish with it. I will try and figure a scenario in which that works, but this is NOT it.
Not sure of what to do, Trumpaladin hands Tourcil his sword back, and grasps Vanderiem as if he were a baseball bat, and looks at the now-grounded George as if he were a guy who hadn't paid back his mafia-loan
[1d20 = 14]>>5894>>5890
infenuis charges soros with horns.
Thez and George both climb to their feet.
"And now it all makes sense. I didn't think the likes of these could speak Blasphemy such as can be seen in your wake. It was YOU wasn't it?"
"GTFO! You have NO business here, NO contracts!" Thez screams.
"I need no contract, because you have something that is MINE!"
"What I have is RIGHTFULLY mine, at least until succession has been decided," Thez retorts.
"Ahhh! But the Rockefeller is DEAD. NONE exist who can oppose me, and I'm taking back what is rightfully MINE!"
>>5893It doesn't have to be a positive affect. I just wiondered how a creature of darkness would react to concentrated anti-football...
*pulls giant knives out of knife cozy*
[2d20 = 5]>>5896
Seeing Infernius' charge, Thez pulls out a fist-sized navy-blue stone. "Oh you mean this? You're welcome to (this is the point that Infernius hits) take it if you CAN!"
"I don't know what you're talking about here, but Port Barry is now of a free people" he says to George, but now also to Thez, uncertain of the meaning of her words
[1d20 = 7]
Unfortunate, your gore attempt does only grazing damage, as you glance off some field or aura protecting him.
"This one again? Away!"
[1d20 = 5]>>5899
I jab at Soros while he is down
He's still up
Infernius goes skittering to the side, not particularly damaged, just propelled.
"Hmmm. There is fight in these. But how fares these towns-people?"
"Oh fuck," Thez says, looking at all the onlookers.
"OUT OF THE STREETS," Trump yells
[1d20 = 9]>>5902
P-ting! The tip bounces off the same field.
"Hilarious! Let ME try!"
[1d20 = 7]>>5903
oh, okay>I jab at him standing up
[1d20 = 4]>>5903
infenuis rolls to intimidate the towns folk to runaway
[3d6 = 14]
George stabs Torcuil with his clawed finger.
"DO struggle a bit won't you?" He clenches his teeth sadistically.
[1d20 = 16]
"So I guess we're attacking the old man?"
With all his might and fury, Trumpaladin slashes at George with Vanderiem
You don't have to tell them twice, they're fukkin OUT (screaming and clutching their books, hoping beyond hope that this isn't their last day).
[1d20 = 11]>>5908
i scream hitler did nothing wrong then i charge at soros again (gore attempt 2)
To his incredible surprise, George Soros experiences pain. I mean, when Thez hit him it kinda hurt, I mean it DID do damage, but this HURTS.
"THE WRATH OF HEAVEN DO FALL UPON YE YA SHRIVELLED DEMON-TURD"
I guess I fall back stuned
[4d20 = 35]>>5909
*takes cue to launch a triple-weilding assault, after kicking soccer ball*
He is knocked back a few feet, and is struck by Infernius who doesn't gore him, but has him in a grapple. For an apparently old man, he has INCREDIBLE vitality.
Soccer balls have bad karma...
[1d20 = 6]>>5915>Incredible Vitality
Unfortunately for him, Trumpaladin has SUPER MALE VITALITY!!!
Trumpaladin slashes at George once again while chuckling, "You have to go back"
slash a cross into his left asscheek and a swastika into his right
Don't unicorns have some type of healing ability in mythology?
If so I need it now
She's watching you squirm like the cunt she is.
[1d20 = 2]>>5914
The soccer ball bounces off his head, disrupting his hair and visibly agitating him. He throws Infernius to the side.
"Such IMPUDENCE! Know ye not who you behold? Then BEHOLD AND TREMBLE!" He says, growiing in size, distorting in appearance, until he is about 40' tall, entirely demonic in appearance, and radiating evil, malice, corruption, and despair.
He lets out an incredible bestial/demonic ROOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR
[2d20 = 5]>>5919
Oh please, he just stabbed you, its not that bad.>>5918
Dice for Tracy's attack
K, since you didn't roll nor did you know he was going to go ultra-mega-zord, I'll consider that a miss.
[1d20 = 16]>>5914
Rogues have precision and combat reflexes, right? Can't I make an extra attack in that turn?
*slashes at sinews*
I cast alter-self on trump, he grows to 64' tall and the beauty of the American people>>5922
But where did he stab me?
[1d20 = 3]>>5921
"CITIZENS OF PORT BARRY! BRING OUT YOUR BALLISTAS, AND DEFEND YOUR NOBLE CITY!"
[9d20 = 85]
"Since you lot seem so resistent to submit, I'll simply destroy this lovely city!" He screams.
"Get fucked you glorified raisin!" Thez says, teleporting in and launching a full-round attack-flurry.
[1d20 = 15]>>5924
Continues to go for the same heel, with intent to cut through the tendon
[1d20 = 5]>>5925
Trumpaladin is Pleased by this development. >>5927
"We will do much worse to you than waterboarding!"
Trumpaladin swings at Megasoros, hopefully now as MegaTrump
[45d8 = 207]>>5924
THAT one lands.>>5925>alter self>other person
Please revise your request
In the shoulder by the way.>>5926
A few of the soldiers get your meaning and begin rushing to battle stations. They've never had to point the ballistae INWARD, but its worth a shot,....>>5929
Whoa now, Torcuil made an error in judgement. I'll wait a moment to determine what happens next so it can be revised.
Meanwhile, Thez is still going apeshit at him.
[1d20 = 10]
In response to Thez's vicious volley (holy shit, she wasn't this strong last time) he is taken aback, and launches 4 large meteoric spheres at her.
shoulder aint bad
[1d20 = 1]>>5928
Can I get a crippling blow to incapacitate this leg?
[24d6 = 81]
... Which land, (she's in midair btw) obscuring her in an inferno of smoke and fire.
Not as bad as that one though, kek
[1d100 = 42]>>5933
NOW Trump grows to
... 42' High. Not full Soros height, but able to challenge.
Trump, you were saying?
"Oh lets GET him!" Vandereim seems to be drooling.
Trumpaladin's size is almost as big as his ego. He tries to think of something memey to say, but instead just slashes with Vanderiem()
42'>Not same height
[1d20 = 20]
*continues to eat into this leg, triple wielding*
Have I cut through his sinew yet?
[9d6 = 30]>>5939
Whoops, I thought I made him bigger. Okay, Trump is larger, sue me.>>5940
Oh yeah you do. As Trump approaches, George buckles on the side that Tracy is going to town at.
To his (and Thez') immense surprise, George is actually seriously wounded at this point. What the fuck? he thinks to himself. These are MORTALS!
[1d20 = 20]
>Achilles style K.O.
*duck out of the way before he falls* but not before pickpocketing one of his monster sized shekels
[1d20 = 15]>>5941
Trump lifts Vanderiem over his head and casts him down upon the nnow stumbling mecha-soroshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeZC67Qr-68
[1d20 = 20]
Way ahead of you, Trump hacks and hacks
[1d100 = 34]>>5946
>>5946>that dice role
As beautiful as a map of Pennsylvania in the 2016 elections
[1d20 = 18]>>5943>giant shekel acquired
*carve a swastika into his asscheek*
With the righteous might of Football, the combined will and hopes of Port Barry, his own resolve, and a ridiculous bastard (sword) designed SPECIFICALLY for this type of scenario, Trump cuts George's arm off at the shoulder (including part of his pectoral area).
[1d20 = 12]>>5950
WAY more greviously wounded than he EVER expected, George does not even have the vitality to speak Blasphemy. He immediately teleports away to a distance of 300' above ground. He also reverts to man-form.
"You have received but a small taste of what we can deliver" Trumpaladin says to Sorosaur, who hopefully is in the process of bleeding to death
[1d20 = 19]>>5951
*dangle stolen shekel in a cocky manner, sticking out tongue*
[1d20 = 12]>>5951
"Fire you Ballistas at him!"
He casts a contemptuous glare at the whole party, particularly Trump, who is unlike any paladin he's ever faced (and he's faced LOTS).
"THIS ISN'T OVER!!!"
And with that he vanishes.
"Your reign of tyranny is over," Trump says not really to Soros so much as to the citizens of Port Barry, who are looking out of their homes
The soldiers, finally making their way to the ballistae, fire comically into the air below where George was stationed. They REALLY need to modify those for elevation.
Did he notice I took his shekels?
For a moment, silence descends upon Port Barry. The city-folk, unaccustomed to such,... excitement, are initially fearful to emerge from their homes.
Thez, limping a bit over to Trump, whispers "This is your chance."
He's a jew, he wouldn't CARRY shekels,....
[1d20 = 12]>>5950
infernuis impressed, good job trump.
Then what did I get via pickpocket? I rolled a 20
A magnificent assortment of pocket lint. Also a dry-cleaning stub.
"WE HAVE DEFEATED THIS PRETENDER!" Trump yells, arms raised out, and rock music starting to play
"We'll win so much, you'll get tired of winning. Believe me."
Check the dry cleaning stub
>>5964Trumpaladin wears formal business suits under his armor
>>5964Fucking jews, not accommodating my thief quirks...
The city folk begin to slowly emerge, fearful that something else will come raining down on their heads.
"I think they need a little more than that," Thez whispers (you can cinematic if if you like).>>5966
Its a dry-cleaning stub. What do you expect to find?
Oh, you just tried to steal from a jew. They've thought of that. They won't ALL be jews.
*loot severed arm for fabric* (Soros wears only the best silk suits)
So about that cut in my arm with the jew germs
"TODAY BEGINS A NEW ERA. YOU WILL NO LONGER SUBMIT OR COWER BEFORE FORIEGN POWERS, BUT STAND PROUDLY, AND ASSUME THE PLACE YOU DESERVE AMONG THE GREAT CITIES OF THIS PLANET."
Now THAT is a good idea.
>>5973>enjoy being a were-jew
Slowly, beginning from the walls and towers, increasing amongst the citizenry, until the entire town is swept up in its wake, begins a chant of "Trump, Trump, Trump, Trump, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP, TRUMP,..." and so it crescendos into a wave of celebration and revelry easily topping the previous rally's. You did not plan this, but it could not have worked more in your favor. Port Barry is now devoted to Trump, to Elway, to Rockwell, and whomever the shiny and awesome ones (not Thez, "HEY!" shush) should indicate.
>>5969It's gotta be something remotely useful, I rolled a 20 robbing an incapacitated target
Also, you die from jewness. I'm kidding, he didn't attempt to poison you, he didn't consider you a threat. If he did, he'd have slashed you with claws. That was one of those 'bitch plz' moves, where he stops you with a finger.
>>5973>has already bottled Jew blood
That doesn't mean the target has anything of use ON them. Try pickpocketing a homeless man
>>5978>Pat trump on the back
You deserve this
infenuis put trump on his sholders
It was a nice roll, I accede, but you have access to sufficient resources that you could craft/build far more exciting things than you might find from pickpocketing. Thing BIGGER ^_~
>>5986I've kind of been avoiding that, because it's hard to imagine her making good stuff with hooves
Friendship is Magic. Xp
>>5987I'll just keep crafting 6 gorillion knives to increase my skill
Alright! Since the fight is over, bantz and cinematics and all sorts of shenanigens are open season. Questions? Comments? Elucidations?
What can I gain from these events?
Also, you all gained a level on that one. I don't even have to look at the numbers to know that. The benefit of being underestimated is being underestimated. Still, you won (and more soundly than I thought possible)
Who and what is where now?
Respect, admiration, approval, (not just from the city folk, Lenos is quite impressed, and he's second to 1 guy as far as crafting magicz)
i liked that we cut off soros's arm.
trumps on my shoulders.
Good question. Trump stops being super-giant (its a duration spell) and rejoins the crowd (I didn't realize that a giant-Trump would help rally the people, cuz I'm an idiot).
The city is won (hearts and minds, they feel that these peeps will protect, serve, and enable them to make themselves great, which will make their city great, which will make the world great (they don't k now 'again' cuz that was generations ago).
Level 14?>can now see invisible/hidden enemies>>5994
*recoils at prospect of normies knowing her name*>>5996
Nice pali. I didn't plan it, the dice spoke
Who's the gets-thief NAO?
>>5997Where's troll-estia before she trolls us to hell
STOP STEALING MY GETS
why you hiss we all celebrate, be happy tracy.
If his ass is going to be on anyone's back, it's going to be mine.
Where did you last see her?>>6004
Yeah, Thez is with this. "We should be glad to have survived. If he had said Starl--- I won't say it, but if he had said it, even I might have died. Its a blessing he underestimated us."
Trumpaladin holds out his arms. He is not yet done
"Great citizens of the great city of Port Barry, you have seen so far two of our efforts to Make Port Barry Safe Again from threats domestic and foreign. We have killed the rats who sought to control your city. We have cleaved the arm and sent fleeing a man who an hour before thought himself an invincible emperor over half the planet. But just as your needs do not end at freedom from fear, our plans do not end at freeing you from tyranny. For far too long this city - once a center of commerce and commercial activity - has decayed and languished under reduced economic activity. Commerce and industry have waned. But we hear your call and we understand your needs. No longer shall this city decay and its ports remain empty. No. We shall make Port Barry Work again! I have met with leaders of business and the forge, and will begin contracts for new weapons productions at the forge. This will put many citizens back to work, and increase trade at the harbor. And many have in this time pointed to the sad state of Port Barry's education system. To this end, I have contracted the construction of a new library, which will be filled with the accumulated magical knowledge of centuries. Nor will I end there. I have commissioned the beginning of the Mile High Monastic Order, which will offer a free education to every citizen, from plow usage to long bow practice to metalurgy.
But all of this is but a subset of a larger issue I am here to talk to you about tonight. You see, we are not but individuals seeking our own interests, but agents of a higher power, and it is that higher power who guides us all, and who helped me defeat the foriegn pretender tonight. That higher power is Football. It is He we serve, and He who helps us. To this end, I have commissioned the construction of a Stadium - to be constructed by Port Barry Labor - to the worship of Football. Football shall bring meaning to your lives, as it has to mine. And finally, I have commissioned a mendicant order to teach you all of Football, and to teach the whole world of Football. Port Barry shall be the instrument to teach the world of its power, and Port Barry ships shall sail to every continent to spread its word.
You see, there is something bigger going on here, bigger than me, bigger than you, bigger than perhaps all of us. An evil entity known as the Terrasque keeps us all in its thralls, and prevents us all from joining the shining Valhalla of Sports Authority Field. We are set on slaying the beast, and freeing us all, and freeing you all. We need your help, and that is why we need your faith in football, your labor in the forges, and perhaps your arms in the field of battle. But in this fight - should you take it on as you own as I have - you will find not only the freedom to live on your own, to make full use of your talents, and to enjoy the fruits of your labor - but you will find all of the glory of freeing the planet, of being a free people."
Being a bitch
Even Thez be like ^;_;^
The cheering of the crowd is near deafening.
I'll give it to you, if you make me big again.
I never made you small
>>6008Oh you, wanna spar? ^_~
Nerfed? Small? Wut? You lost me
You said my size change wears off. I want be big enough to carry a victory lap.
>>6014I'm gonna regret this unicorn thing>>6013
UHHHHHHHHH FINE BITCH
I make you however tall you want
Oh, you mean the sarcastic checking of gets. Yeah, that was me. ^_^
infernuis go to bar with trump still on sholders.
>>6017If I can keep this autistic ship going this long, then you can keep aiming for that unicorn, you pussy!
I can take GETs too you know
So long as Trump can do business at the bar, then sure
"You say that,...." Trollestia says into your mind.
... as the party descends into a chaotic brawl
"What's mine is yours, Flashy"
>>6024I'll fucking >rape you irl if you think you're going to carry him for the victory lap instead of me.
"Oh, this bitch again!">>6024
come at me insano hoers
Alright. Its off-topic time, so feel free to attack one another, practice on one another, engage in whatever, dialogue whatever,... theme=whatever (no threats).
Its not even dice rolls at this point,... bring it
>>6027Is troll horse gonna rape me?>>6032
I decide to practice with my raiper
GM, do you think you should introduce some Port Barry Citizens as NPCs? Should I do it? I think we need a leader of the Davisean Mendicant Order of the Universal Church of Football
Trumpaladin casts a charming glance at the Unicorn
*rear kicks you to the ground* (as full-sized hoers)
"I. Am. The. Noble. Steed!"
"Do you want me to?"
"Is 'rapier' a euphamism?"
i also think this is a good idea>upboated lel
You have tracy>>6038I aint saying either way
No, it is not
>>6036>*worried nuzzling*>>6041>Trying to grapple an adult mare who's already pissed off
*full form rear kicks you away*
Agreed. If you want to do some you can, and I will do some (or all) as needed.>>6036um>>6037
Thez, again with popcorn (there's a machine in the mess hall)
Thez, can I have some popcorn?
This is entertaining
"Here," hands bag, disappears, and reappears moments later with another bag.
>>6045>escalating the conflict
*draws beef-shaving knife threateningly while looking back with a menacing glare*
"Fuck off, sports drink mascot!"
>>6047>sits in lawnchair
20 bits on the cleric
"I dunno, that pony has some fire in her," nom nom nom
Agreed tho, a good bet
im not afraid of you cunt, you have no power over me!
>>6051Uses meta rod to silently buff Infernious
"Oh, well NOW the bet is off. Speaking of which!" she exclaims before disappearing.
Trump briefly stops what he's doing to turn to the fight. "You might want this," Trumpaladin says to Tracy, giving her his leather vest to use as lightweight armor (it's too big but it will cover pretty much her whole body)
>>6055Shes got a hydra-hide parka,... better than leather
>>6056If nothing else it's a "mean joe green" moment for Tracy
Are we really going to just attack eachother? GM said nothing life threatening.
*dodges with lv 14 rogue evasion*
"BULLS AREN'T FIT FOR RIDING!!"
*cannon-like rear kick*>>6055>too big for a full-grown hoers
"Wh-why thank you, Flashy!" *blushes*
>>6058>the dumb bull's slashes just miss Tracy>KAPOW
*another rear-kick* right to the chest
>>6059Don't mind me then, keks and all
you attack infenuis first.
>>6062>already has developed evasion and uncanny dodge, with a base speed of 50 ft
*teleports behind you*
"Buffin perso- aww who am I shitting!"
*kicks you in both the asscheeks, leaving permanent tissue scarring (under the fur)*
this boring infenuis go carry trump
>>6053>has finished popcorn
"Are you gonna eat that?"
"Not with that magnitude of butthurt, you aren't!"
*struts ahead of you*
why you so crazy hoers? what happend that make you snap? maybe infernuis can help you.
You DID? Splendid!
You start to feel woozy, unable to maintain your balance and coordination.
"Oh dear, you don't look so good. Here, let me help you to someplace quiet.">whoof>rape
God damned unicorns>that feeling when my haggis has been stirred twice
"Learn some boundaries, you stupid bovine! Some things are meant to be left between married couples!"
If u 2 are still at it in a few minutes, Thez will be more than happy to join in.
"Want to go for a victory lap now, Flashy?"
TRACY YOU NO MARRIED. HE NO LOVE YOU!!!
A crowd of people surround Trumpaladin trying to reach him. A fight or something breaks out in the bar, which distracts some people, but not all. Trumpaladin sees a blonde haired man trying to reach him, though too far away. He recognizes the man, as being one of the citizens who surrounded him when the rats were killed, and as being a leader of the Ballista teams, trying the hardest to reposition and aim the devices. From all his years of experience, Trump can tell just by looking at this man he has motive and skill. He signals to the men around him to let the man come closer
"Nice to meet you trump, really impressive what you did back there" he says
"what's your name kiddo," Trump asks
"Terry," he answers
"Nice to meet you Terry,"
"I've been thinking about what you said. I don't want to be slave to any false king, or any cabal. But those who gave you the power"
Terry is a bit stunned at the name
Trump says "you saw the video didn't you?"
"The Video of Super Bowl XXXII"
"Yes. Yes I did... that tackle"
"The Helicopter takle?"
"Left me in awe first time I saw it too."
"Is there... More?"
"There's so much more."
Trumpaladin produces a copy of Superbowl XXXIII, made on VHS home recording that day back in '97.
"Take this" he says. "and show it to all you know."
"You'd give this to me."
Trump asks a question already sort of knowing the answer "What do you do?"
"Well I used to be a team leader loading and unloading ships on the Dock. When the Economy crashed I helped my family on the farm, directing oxen teams. I've recently become involved in the militia. I'm Sargent of a siege team."
"I see you have quite the talent for leadership." Trump pauses "Listen. I can't do this alone. This is a very big project, and I need help. Tell you what. I'm starting a new mendicant order. An organization dedicated to spreading the word of Football. I want you to be a leader of it"
"But I scarcely know Football myself!"
"You recognize the power and the glory. That is what it takes. Faith. It's a learning experience for us all. you shall learn more when you see Superbowl XXXIII and when we organize our first game. And you shall learn more about leadership as we go along. But I can see you have the talent. You have the faith. You've got what it takes"
stop being delusional.
Trumpaladin pushes away a horse nuzzle, eyes still on Terry
Thez and Torcuil whooof back, the latter appearing disheveled.
"Do we have a winner yet?" she says, slurring a bit.
>>6081>it wasn't the unicorn
My haggis doesnt feel that good after being stirred
It was never a contest. Nobody wants to ride a fucking bull around town for their victory lap.
We've only just begun. I'm building an empire
[anxious hoers noises]
he not want ride you. hed rather "ride" that unicorn tracy,
[excited hoers noises]
*ignores for the good of everyone in the vicinity*
it not good to be this blind tracy, infernuis just try to help make sane.
>>6089>walks away looking fpr trollestia
I said it omce and I'll say it again
Feckin' children, the both of ye
>>6089>*threatening glare* (bandit-style intimidation)
[irked hoers noises]
tracy adolf wouldnt want you insane, he loves you.
[angry hoers noise]
"Go look for followers for your little cult somewhere else, BBQ bull!"
Trumpaladin leaves the bar, in search of still more young souls to recruit
*follows after, in stealth*
While walking, Trumpaladin casts a charming glance at Trollestia
Go shag ye own horse
[heart-heavy hoers noises]
That's exactly what I'm doingYou're going to have to cast a spell to make Tracy look like pic related if you want me to leave Trollestia alone
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GM won't let me kill the fucking hoers!
I take it you want me oo do this?
WHERE DID MY PIC GO!
Just make her look Fluer-De-Lis hot
Thez and Trollestria for that matter are roflmao
[frustrated hoers noises]
I hate everyone here>>6106
If you want it, then >poof
You are now the epitome of beuaty to trump, go leg hump him
>>6103>giving Tracy a makeover>possible
If you could do it...
>>6107>I hate everyone here
>>6107I don't hate you... (although my character sort-of has, for the fist half of the game) Let's be friends.
>>6108Keep posting that image and you'll be pushing it>>6110>>6111
I revise my former statement
I hate waifu stealers
Oh you, you don't really mean that,.... Xp>>6109
Thez likes this idea. Dog-eared for future.>>6108
"Hey, you busy?" The scotsman was fun, but Thez likes to end up raw.
And with THAT (deliberately avoiding the aftermath) I'm out for the night.
>>6112I didn't steal anyone's waifu...
Is it theft if she was mine to begin with?>>6113>The future
So Trump isn't taking Tracy home tonight
>>6117>implying I didn't talk to her first
"Listen here blue one, whatever your name is. There's a graph of craziness to hotness. You're only about a six on the hotness scale, but you're a ten on the crazy scale. Well, maybe a nine. You'd be date-able if you were only a 5 on the crazy scale, but as you are you'd need to be a perfect 10. And you're not there"
I didn't say that, I'm letting u all decide (phone posting nao). Let the dice decide if there's an impasse/conflict
This unicorn would be fucking dead, if GM hadn't buffed her to unnatural proportions
Oi, dats me waifu you sack of shit>turns to troll-estia
[confused hoers noises]>*worried nuzzling*
"Its the thrill of one more kill"
i told you he dosent love you, devote your life to adolf.
>>6128I think turning Tracy into a white unicorn is the funniest and simplest resolution>>6129
The hierarchy goes:
Whatever you are
"Bovine dicks are gross.." she says under her breath>>6130
[murderous hoers noises]
*whips out bull dick*
"Eeew!" upon seeing the gross, floppy, tentacle-like appendage
Trump is now a raging faggot, trying to get in the minotaurs pantsJk, tracy is now Fluer-de-Lis with murderous tendancys
>>6134>tfw human lik penis(comes with mutation)
>>6135Can I at least be a fabulous-made Earth pony version of her?>>6136>has micro-wiener
[1d12 = 3]>>6137
rolling d12 for dick size
>>6137>removes horn>changes main to light blue
[1d12 = 7]>>6140>plus con gm?
>>6140>setting it in stone
3-inch dick is now canon.
[confident hoers noises]>>6142
I guess that means that a blue maned earth pony is "good enough"? No Melania
[satisfied hoers noises]
Can you really have this with a Blue mane though?
Not dark blue
Ah, I thought you were rolling for dick size (was being supportive)
I guess it's doable
Actually, ya know what>tazes Trump>Trump is now paralized>sit tracy's new ass on his face>run off with Troll-estia
Take that you waifu atealing shit
AH HELL NO
KILL HIM TRACY!
That doesn't mean trollestia is doing anything other than trolling
Aren't Paladins immune to paralysis? It'd just hurt.>why am I saying this?>>6158>*consolate nuzzling*
[1d20 = 20]>>6159
NO THIS IS BULLSHIT I TAZED AND PARALIZED YOU
You were saying?
im calling mod
>>6165>picks up tracy>throws at face>pics up unicorn & runs>>6168
I paralysed you first
Kek, I'd need to be a coder>>6170
The 17 and the 20 say she's trolling you
[1d20 = 11]>>6162>>6163>checks manual>they're resistant, not immune>>6163
"You fucking bastard bastard!"
*roll to angrily throw keen edged knife in his general direction*>>6168
[nursing hoers noises]
*loads paralyzed Flashy onto back*
"It's okay, Sweetheart. Let's get you home."
*trots off with him back toward Crystal*
look at >>6121>>6173>Strangely interested in the blue horse
"hello. I'm not sure we've met before
>>6173>not being grateful for getting you your flashy back
[scared shitless hoers noises]
Trumpaladin attends another meeting to meet with possible recruits that night, holding a mare in his arms. He later goes home with the mare. Assuming of course, she stops trying to stab and goes with him to a different restaurant. Otherwise she stays there
Tourcil tries to go home with the unicorn, but receives a troll face
>>6177>evades shit>kicks sand in eyes>>6178
[accepting hoers noises]
I need sleep
[salutating hoers noises]
>>6180Had fun. I hope you did too.
>>6182Tonight was fun, see yall later
[spoler]hey tracys player infernuis just wants to help get sane. are we cool ?
oh my not so secret.
>>6184NO! I've worked far too hard, for too long, to get where I am now!
[romantic hoers noises]
[deadly hoers noises]
[edgy hoers noises]
>>6193>Torcuil shape shifts Tracy to appese Trump>this fails>Torcuil tazes trump>20>Torcuil puts Tracy and Trump in a "comprimizing" position>Torcuil runs away from Waifu theif
Pretty sure that's not what happened
Yes. Why do players inevitably devolve into rolling for penis size?
Infernius felt that it was necessary.
And how did that work out for him
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Let this be a lesson to players about putting things to a dice roll. To illustrate this point (and because its been talked about at length) when I finally get around to Thez confronting Lenos about the bet, they're going to get into a fight that will be entirely determined by the dice. I honestly don't know how the fight is going to go, even though (knowing both character's stats and abilities) I know what SHOULD happen.
Everyone knows about his micro-wiener now...>tfw no penis, so my character wouldn't do that
>>6196>I posted first therefore giving me priority
Also I didn't take the equine, you happy?>>6201
Honestly that was a 10/10 moment
This. It made it worth staying up until 2:00 AM.
>>6205>Trollestia didn't take me, are you happy?
There's so much to comment on, but I'll start with the Tazing. Rolling a 20 was magnificent, and indicates that you would probably do max effectiveness, if not doubled (I'm not looking at Taze at the moment, whether its duration or damage, or whatever).
However. Trump IS entitled to a saving throw, which he very clearly ALSO landed with flying colors. Hence, I would assume that either A. he magnificently avoided the Taze OR he grabbed YOU while you were doing it, subjecting BOTH of you to the effects. I'm not changing what went down, but in future that is the 2 choices I would then roll to determine.
Thez would not have said this if what Infernius' later dice roll indicated was true. See what you've done, you've created a paradox Infernius!>>6124
If any of you actually expects to get anywhere with her, you're seriously being trolled.>>6129
Again, that die roll.>>6131
That's kind of what I'm thinking (the disguise). I won't comment on the hierarchy.>>6133
... and again>>6134
... and again>>6137
lol, how prophetic>>6140
Okay, this is the point that the paradox ends. Technically, everything before this moment is now minimally (pun intended) invalid.
Not to beat a dead hoers, but no. You would have gotten a racial bonus, but you neglected to declare it. This is ALSO one of the risks of putting things to a die roll, is not applying the correct/any modifiers. Since none of you have bothered to ask what your character's attributes even ARE, I can't emphasize how ill advised a move this was.>>6161
Perfect. Also yes.>>6184
You don't have to type out spoiler you can just use s and /s (or ctrl+s and type it in)
Well, it wasn't the worst possible scenario to play out.
The common metric for such rolls is 1d6+3, with modifiers for racial size. I would've given Infernius an additional +1, being a minotaur. However,... I wasn't here. So between the tazing, the dice, and the temporary amnesia, everything else checks.
Trumpaladin genuinely does not know the Blue One's name
Appearance change, got it.
There's another thing about Paladins which you should and your character would know. The special mount.>The paladin’s mount is superior to a normal mount of its kind and has special powers, as described below. The standard mount for a Medium paladin is a heavy warhorse, and the standard mount for a Small paladin is a warpony. Another kind of mount, such as a riding dog (for a halfling paladin) or a Large shark (for a paladin in an aquatic campaign) may be allowed as well. A paladin’s mount is treated as a magical beast, not an animal, for the purpose of all effects that depend on its type (though it retains an animal’s HD, base attack bonus, saves, skill points, and feats).https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Paladin#The_Paladin.27s_Mount
I had one in mind that I was going to introduce, but I'm really not sure where this is going atm.
1. Can I have an Abrams M1A1 as a mount?
2. Can I import pic related from Slovakia?
GM, you said at the beginning of the game in >>1171 →
that you'd be giving Tracy barbarian attribute. Could I, if possible invoke a mindfuck and trade just a bit of my rogue nature for emphasis on barbarian quirks or, preferably, similarity to a psionic Wilder? I didn't know anything about classes when I started, so I chose rogue because of Tracy's expert proficiency with knives and 'slippery mind', but I've actually been RPing as something closer to a wilder, hoping to covert Tracy's madness into power. I'd be willing to take the full extent of any drawbacks, like Wilder's 'volatile mind'; I've actually already been doing that up to this point: I've already been trying to keep up the character and make irrationally violent decisions, and it'd be nice to have an attack boost when giving into rage. I'm a rogue now, but I don't think Tracy would have that much ability in handcrafts (mudpone) outside the realm of knives. I'd even take the barbarian's 'illiteracy' quirk, (since Earth ponies aren't exactly comfortable turning pages). Overall, I'd really prefer to trade the handcrafts for auto-psionics/rage, since Tracy really came into the game already mindfucked. I don't want any extra shield/weapon/armor proficiency; I just like to to incorporate the rage/insanity from either the barbarian/wilder classes, sort of like when I used /HATRED/ on those zombies, in the first thread here >>1196 →
and >>1200 →
If that's what you really want (not the tank), then sure. I'll have to think of a way to introduce into this world/storyline. all my careful planning, ruined
>>6218REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I'LL MURDER THIS ONE TOO, IF I HAVE TO!!!
Minimally, that's fine with me. Lemme know where you wanna be at. I think you guys are at 13th level, I'll have to check in a bit.
BTW, since the party didn't actually kill George, so the only experience gained was circustantial.
Anyway, let me know.
Nah, ill see whatever you have. Besides a "mount,"really isn't the same as what he's after here, which is basically a waifu
He'll take several actually
Wilder/barbarian is closer to Tracy's character, being an insane Yandere THOT. I mostly wanted Rogue for the light weapons proficiency.
Where are the characters anyway?
So like, ENTIRELY Wilder/Barbarian?more paradox, this is gonna take me all week to wrap my head around ~_~
Okay, but not much into Wilder to start with?
Anyone else wanna do some tweaks, since I've got time to do the reading?
Is my play pointing me toward Mage, Wizard, or Sorcerer?
>>6228>not waiting for the chance to get one of Trollestia's hairs, and summon a nerfed version of her that would serve you willingly
Mage=Wizard, but you've honestly been playing more like a hybrid. You haven't done much of anything (IF anything) wrt spellbooks/memorization(sorc), but you're playing (int and theme) like a wiz. Soooo,... what's in a name? Sorcerers learn far fewer spells, but can cast them more times per day (not that you've come near casting all spells/day for either category.
That won't work on player
uhhhhhgggggggg>>6229>not realizing i can change the biology
But would it work on troll pone?>>6230
Mage= Learned power in magic
Wizard= Born with powers, but required study to refine them
Sorc= Born with natural talent, and doesn't need to study much
You could make a great meme-wizard, if you studied your memes hard enough.
Yes to the first, interesting to the second. 3.5 doesn't differentiate that way, but your description of Wizard fits perfectly.
Ah you think the memes are your ally? You merely adopted the memes. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the normies until I was already a man, by then they where nothing to me but cringy!>>6234
Trump was busy campaigning, and I thought you were with him. Given the group was involved in the fight, I'm putting everyone still in Port Barry. Specifics can easily be remedied by stating where characters are going/deciding to do.
Oh yeah, you DO need to figure out how non-flying characters are gonna get back into the building BTW.
>>6237>Ha ha, non levitating peasents
The spell is intended for a non-sentient mount, but I see no reason it wouldn't work for a sentient one. Don't expect text-book service, and we're talking more like a 4th level spell in this case (since it would be a direct summons and not a temporary one,... I'm assuming that's what you're aiming at).
It's funny, because the earliest depictions of Merlin describe him as a Wildman who lived in a cave in the woods isolated from society with only animals for companionship. He was born with the power to receive strange messages from the beyond in the form of visions into the future, which he recorded by writing down magical symbols, which he left to townsfolk in exchange for books and quills.
He was basically a medieval +30 year old, antisocial, NEET wizard, with an uncanny power to tell the future using memes.
I just want fast travel,
not a sex doll
Kidding. So, are you looking to summon Troll and have her stick around, or are you looking to summon her for a limited period, after which she'll return to the stables?
I respect womenSkeleton army is summoned on other side of planet from dead meme>>6243
not unlike a familier
Doesn't he need to acquire the hair first?
Also, why's this fucking unicorn crashing in our crystal? Shouldn't she be protecting her realm in the forest?
Also, are we only taking game elements from 3.5? I don't want it to only be pure DnD....
No, that's just the engine I'm basing everything off of. I'll throw in whatever you guys want (there's space, for example, which hasn't been explored yet).>>6245
There's not really an existing spell like that but it most closely resembles a 5th level summon, waiving the spell duration (since summons are technically extra-planar).
SPACE?>builds telescopeAlso, can dead memes be necromancy?
Answer the unicorn questions. My character loathes her.>>6248Tracy is not unlike a dead meme...
Well, yeah. Trump expressed an interest in getting lvls in space marine (technically, paladins can't multi-class but meh, its my Game).
Sorry, I linked to the wrong post in >>6247
The latter part is to the unicorn question.
Yes to the hair, and why is cuz hoers are part of her domain in this world. Also cuz lulz
*Torcuil's unicorn question
Aside, I wonder how many anons read this shit Xp
>>6252Hoershit! Get her out of my stables!
What class is she? Epic druid?
>>6254Hi to anyone reading
Can I exploit favors out of these grateful townsfolk?
Nah, Celestial Charger (not epic, but clerical ability)>>6257
Who's around me currently
>tfw no one noticed that my improvidently written text last night would have featured Trumpaladin waking up next to Tracy
Trump is there I think, Thez is hidden, and maybe Infernius. There's lots of civilians, as I'm pretty much starting up from the end of Trump's second(?) rally (after George).That was so epic, cutting his damn arm off
Where are we in the town?
The Rusty Duck, since that's the town favorite.
And I'm still a full grown hoers?
lol no, that ended sessions ago
Oh, I thought the wizard did it again at the end of the last session, for the victory lap...
Oh. I thought that was just cosmetic. In that case, yes.
What are the surrounding characters doing?
This would make me a light warhoers, right?
Trump would be mingling with the crowd and promoting his plans for Port Barry, Thez is literally on the ceiling, learning more about his plan (its new to her as much as anyone, and it is interesting). Infernius would be nom'ing a blue cheese chicken sammich. The people are either eating and/or fixated on Trump.>>6273
*Tell the people about our upcoming wedding ceremony*
[1d20 = 2]>>6275
You're a pastel, talking warhorse. I don't think that's gonna be believed, but lets find out.
>[angry hoers noises]
Are any of the NPCs talking?
Yes, mostly among themselves. The Soros fight was an unprecedented habbening
*twitches hoers ears*
What d they say about Soros?
They're replaying the fight, telling eachother what they were able to see and/or hear (remember, they bolted mid-way through the fight)
Am I still covered in blood?
You should be, but I'll assume that you both (Trump) washed up before addressing the people.
How big is the pub?
The Rusty Duck is about the size of the Sticky Wicket, except entirely restaurant/bar. It is an inn also, but clearly the owner is more interested in atmosphere than commercialism.
I assume Flashy is doing some kind of speech. Better not get in the way again.>stealth
Can I wander off and see what's around?
Sure. I forget what time it is in game, so I'm going with early afternoon. The plaza is also bustling, again the habbening. As you leave the Rusty Duck, people recognize you as part of the party and pat you on the shoulders, neck and snout appreciatively. (they were doing that before, I just didn't think to mention it; one of the downsides to summarizing what I imagine occurring)
I gotta say, I'm having trouble wrapping my head around how a warhorse is in stealth in broad daylight, and how this looks in any way natural. Fug it.
Stealth wasn't actually that important to me, desu... I just laugh at the thought of 12,00 lbs of sex-drive and raw, unfiltered edge just suddenly appearing and disappearing without warning.
I laugh at the thought of said flitting from cover to shadow and back. Kinda like Twilight in the time-travel episode
>>6289>As you leave the Rusty Duck, people recognize you as part of the party and pat you on the shoulders, neck and snout appreciatively.
And to think I was going to unironically burn down this town two plays ago...
*Is a bit irritated by the extra attention*
Deal with it, you guys saved them from ultra-mega-George
*Asks them what they knew about the mega kike*
They've heard of demons, but never seen 'em and certainly not one that's 40' tall
(FYI, the 40' vers is the real one)
Had they ever seen the small one before?
*is slightly nervous having been possessed multiple times in the past, but doesn't show it*
Nope, George Soros is completely unknown to them
Also, George is a particularly advanced Balor if you ever get bored.
He never bothered to bring his weapons (pride) nor evoked his flaming aura (again), but here's a pic I should have included.
I already bottled his blood: does it have any uses?
Yeah.. he probably would've used a sword, or a whip...
Almost TOO many. Poison, magical component (spells OR item creation), summoning tool, rare (valuable) item, etc.>>6302
Kek. Not anymore.
Now has:>hydra blood: (used by Hercules to one-shot countless monster)>Thez blood>Balor blood
For scope 'normal' Balor blood is more potent than Hydra.
>>6305>mentioned hematolagnia quirk in first thread>was going to just drink it...
Tracy wouldn't know it was poisonous though...
Well, Tracy is a special case. I could think of it going a number of ways, above and beyond poison (as a drink).
>>6307>tfw you have to bend your character, and not just whip out a bottle of blood and drink it, for the sake of looking good in fron of your husbandos friends
What, you want to drink it now? That will influence the outcome actually. The results would be put to a die-roll mind you, but not being in a stressed situation is a significant factor in the results. Also, whether she realizes that drinking uber-demon blood might have side effects and whether she has steeled herself to it.
You better believe it
In fact, that could easily explain any discontinuity as far as going from rogue/barbarian to wilder/barbarian (for example, that would negate the "less in wilder" stipulation)
Nah, I'll wait until I actually know wtf I'm doing. There's no reason as for why she'd just drink it immediately..Unless, of course, you recommend otherwise. I desire supernatural buffs that can increase my rage boosts and get me closer to 'ghost rider'.>>6311
What would explain?
I'll wait until you make the decision to even consider the possible ramifications, though 'asking around first' is most advisable. As far as discontinuity, it would explain why a barbarian/wilder would not have known of any supernatural ability until recently. A wilder can be assumed to have had an existing ability previously (even if latent) while 'drinking weird blood' would explain why such abilities would be new and exciting.
*goes for a trot*
How many buildings are there in Port Barry?
Lots. The population of Port Barry is in excess of 1000, so between the city and the surrounding farmland (there is) we're talking adequate housing for all (mostly rural but some posh). Additionally there's the government buildings, and the commercial stores (you only got the rundown from the jew so there's more than he told you).
I'm not set on pic related, but along these lines.
Alright then. What interesting buildings are in the immediate vicinity to the Pub?
Infernuis feel sad by penis, so me just start walking in a random direction away from "friends"
Im looking for mountains.
Oh (don't) fuck off. Though you'll NEVER live it down, desu the roll is invalid. Let that be a lesson though.>>6317
Depends on what you mean by 'interesting'. There's item shops, there's potion shops (not uber), there's tack/mount shops, there's kooky mage shops, there's tailor shops, there's transport (waterway) shops, (not exhaustive).
What kind of equipment is available at the tack shop, and the potions shop?
Wait. How much of what was said last night is cannon?
Dice are like (in more ways) divination; never ask what you're unwilling to accept 'the answer' to.
Essentially all of it, though I'm not heartless.Thez would never have involved herself in any 'lengthy' manner with a 3" penir
What kind of equipment is available at the tack shop, and the potions shop?
>>6325>This motherfucker, asking about how the Anne Frank pone is going
Dude, don't tempt me to make a red dragon eat you.
>>6325I already got a bag of moon sugar from the last RP. Ssshhh!
Oh shit you are the drawfag?
IDK how to respond. Truly. I thought the names made the products self-evident.
I do an above-average amount of samefagging, except without the samefagging.
Can I use any of the mount equipment as regular armor?
Yes, armor for hoers is termed 'barding' and comes in as many varieties as the corresponding armors (leather, chain, splint, banded, plate (half/field/full), and others).
Is there a map shop in town?
>>6332>tfw barding only provides for meduim/heavy armor in canon, and you're a rogue
Would they craft me a custom set of light armor?>>6333
I go to the map shop.
You're light infantry though. It would reduce your mobility and agility
"4 u? Of course! Who knows what would've happened if you lot hadn't showed up!"
True, though I calculate her being able to hold up to 50lbs as a light (unencumbered) load, allowing for leather or chain.
unless the gm don't want me to.
>>6341>missed OPs subtlety
Hello map man, infernuis need map of space.
No, they don't have maps of space.
Then give infernuis biggest map of area you have.
"Maps are in high demand, and we don't release our source materials. Give us a day or so, and we can fill that request.""Space-maps, what a loon."
>>6340>eather or chain.
Hmm... I have the leather... What's the benefit of chain-mail?
"Well, chain gives an overall higher armor rating, but leather allows for a higher dexterity bonus (due to weight and 'hang'). Also, chain hinders sneaking, reduces movement speed, and is remarkably less effective against piercing weapons (the rings kinda guide the point into,... you)."
"Sorry, our policy is to take orders in advance, we don't usually get requests like "Your biggest". We will probably be done in advance of the estimate, but that's a worst-case."
"Why yes, in fact we can modify that to make an excellent (truly) set of hide (hide is on par with leather) barding!"
"I'll take that then. Thank you very much."
"Infernuis say it fine. Put on trump tab."
I go to the weapon shop.
"Hmmm. I can have this finished by the morning. So are you guys really gonna do all this for Port Barry? I mean, its all so exciting! A little scary, that crazy demon and all, but I for one love the ideas that Trump fella keeps goin' on about!"
"Welcome back to the Belligerent Gnome, good beast-man!" (they don't get minotaurs, its nothing personal)
"What can I do for you? Are those bracers to your liking?"
>>6357>do all this for Port Barry?>?
".. I mean.. Yeah, if he ever comes along again, we'll swat 'em..!" (convincing tone)
He's talking about the Making PB Great Again theme Trump is running with.
"Good to hear. Some of the townspeople are a little nervous, since you're newcomers and all, but seeing how you all fearlessly took on that monster, that's some next-level stuff. I'm proud to have you!"
For future reference, the map store is called the Compass Rose, and the Tack/Barding shop is called Brenda's Tack.
I like,they good. Do you have big crossbow and grappling hook me can use to get back up to crtstal?
>>6360>somewhat flattered, although more about her knife-handling then any sort of act of heroism
".. Oh, well, I'm just doing what I do best, I guess..
Do you sell luxury saddles? Some easy-access bags would be nice too."
"Well, I'm gonna be honest with you. Your best bet would be a potion of levitation from the potion shop. I mean I can provide a grappling hook like you describe, but that seems a rather pedestrian method if you don't mind me saying. Either would work, but these (he says holding up a grappeling hook) are more for rigging and/or climbing, where you seem to be looking to get from point A to point B amirite?"
"Depends, this town mostly caters to sailors so we don't stock much in the way of fancy stuff, but we can make a saddle to order. How fancy are we talking? Silver/Gold/other accents? Gems? Gold thread? Our craftsman is quite the autist,...."
"Only the classiest saddle will do.">produces some of the gold and jewels she pocketed when she thought the building was going to blow up
"Will this work?"
Yea that true but me think "hey potions are for puny wizards, and then i think hey good man at wicket sells crossbow and grappling hook. Me trust your wares more than some potion. What is name my good man?"
"The name's Terry, Terry Shaw, thanks for asking. So this crossbow, is it JUST for grappeling, or are ya gonna want to use it for shooting mofos also? We've got both, I just wanna make sure you're getting what you need."
No me just need climb with crossbow. Me have sword for mofos.Infernuis like you terry you seem like good guy, me give you one favor, what you need done?
I am going to that potion shop after I get confirmation on the saddle, fyi. From the show, it seems that Earth ponies have a natural affinity towards alchemy; not to mention that Tracy grew up around ziggers who were always cooking drugs and Voodoo potions and whatnot.
[Spolier]Tracy know where infernuis get weed?
Try around the clearing by the edge of the forest; felt giddy just being there. There might be niggers in the trees though.
"Good of you to ask! I don't need much really, I'm more concerned with my son Ben growing up in a stable environment where he has a bright future to look forward to. You lot keep up with what you're doing and we're square in my book.>>6370
As you will>>6371>smacking him with a hat repeatedly