Is therapy just a joke, or is it worth getting? Who should I do therapy with? Can I trust my entire life's story with anyone who's not on this site?
Maybe if I tell you my life's story, you can give me life advice.
I was raised by abusive lefty parents who hated their smart white son and often tried to push me towards trannyism. Never fell for it.
First I was sent to a shit primary school. A few kids bullied me there and teachers punished me whenever I fought back. I was a fat angry kid who could punch hard when pushed, and they liked attacking me and then running away. But when we fought properly I'd kick their asses. One time I kicked their asses hard enough to make them stop bothering me.
When I graduated from this school I was sent to the special school of a catholic school, and made the personal property of one old bitch there who hated autistic kids. Around that era I got interested in Game Maker and pokemon romhacking but that interest never amounted to anything, though I did have a USB full of GBA roms and romhacking tools and the fact that I was able to code at such a young age when not all kids were learning that should have shown somebody that I had more to offer the world than shitty schools thought I should.
Thanks to that school, my schedule looked like this: Enter a side building, wait for the day to end, sometimes get insulted by the teachers if they felt like abusing me, usually get to eat lunch at lunchtime but sometimes they wouldn't let me (and it didn't matter whether I brought a packed lunch to school or brought money for the school cafeteria) and eventually go home to a house with parents that, when told the right words by my boomer bullies, would freak out and abuse me at home too. Rarely I'd get to join in a classroom... but class clowns would act up until I'd get blamed for it and sent out.
If I had a tape recorder or decent phone, I could have gathered evidence of the shit said/done to me (audio files of verbal abuse, pics of bruises, etc) and posted it online. But I was never allowed anything like that, because my parents feared I might use it on them. One day at school the art teacher bumped me with her car while backing up into a crowd of kids, I was fine but pissed off and the art teacher shrieked and blame-slinged feministically at me until I lost my patience and started barking back, then she put me in front of the headmaster and I told him about the abusive staff members and called him terrible at his job, so he kicked me out.
Then I was sent to a worthless "speshul" school where a few teachers abused me and the students usually watched in confusion when they weren't joining in. Whenever I trusted an adult enough to tell him or her what happened at home, that adult decided to call child protective services, who sent the same fucking boomer woman over to warn my parents that I was talking about what went on at home again. I couldn't get away from my family until I became the problem of Adult Protective Services, where the slightly less retarded and lazy people go.
A woman my age at the autistics-only youth club I attended got mad at me over retarded internet roleplaying nonsense-drama that didn't even involve me, and she lied about me to the cops and accused me of abusing her, even went to some clinic to fake signs of a concussion she didn't have because she's a spoilt bitch who knows how to play her rich parents like fiddles, she was a low-functioning sociopath woman with histrionic personality disorder and every retarded boomer's sympathy. She lied and got away with it, because the cops weren't interested in this case after she cartoonishly fucked up and started gloating about physically assaulting me without realizing it hurt her case. But even though I said to the managers of the youth club and the friends I knew there "If what she said about me was true I'd be in jail so you know she's lying" they couldn't believe me because they were dumb. There was one weird creepy fucker I used to talk to online because his "woe is me, asian school life is sooo hard" shit kind of reminded me of me at the time, but he got severe TDS and stopped being a person once he stopped viewing me as a person so I'm glad I didn't tell him anything sensitive or identifiable that could fuck me over later in life.
Anyway when I went to college, I was lied to and exploited by the staff until I dropped out. They even tricked me into taking a worthless course that turned out to be the dump where they dump the autistic kids and give them a useless fake newspaper to write. I wish I dropped out sooner, trying to live on barely fucking anything is hard enough when your mom took govt money meant for you, but it's harder when you're forced to spend most of your cash on train rides between your college and shitty home every two weeks and all your cunt government can offer is a discount pass. Now that I'm living alone, I've got a free bus pass I can barely use. Government priorities, am I right?
I am an autistic man, I'm 24 years old, I'll be 25 next year, and I've spent so much of my life as property of someone else that I find it hard to notice when I'm hungry or tired and remember that I should eat or sleep without someone or a phone alarm telling me to. I shower every night before bed but sometimes I miss meals, it's what helped me go from obese fatty to only-slightly-overweight. I don't think I know what it feels like to be loved by someone else. Learning makes me happy and I love documentaries but when I tried an online free learning site it reminded me of school and I couldn't do it. Sometimes I talk to people and act charming like those "Charisma on command" youtube vids told me so they'll like me, but I've never given anyone my full backstory before. The only woman in my life I ever kissed was that bitch who falsely accused me and got away with it. I want to say I have no interest in modern women but I still feel the urge to wank to them. But I don't wank any more because of nofap.
/ub/ - Überhengst
Becoming better
954 replies and 194 files omitted.
>>5474
Lauren Faust got to make those Mane Six ripoffs for Them's Fighting Herds, a game that was originally a MLP fangame called "Fighting Is Magic".
They even named Not-Twilight's demon "Fight'ng is unspeakable". No lawsuits, for a game Hasbro already C+D'd before Faust started working on it.
If "Twilight Sparkle" passed legal in an era where everyone was laughing over sparky vampires from Twilight, anything goes.
Lauren Faust got to make those Mane Six ripoffs for Them's Fighting Herds, a game that was originally a MLP fangame called "Fighting Is Magic".
They even named Not-Twilight's demon "Fight'ng is unspeakable". No lawsuits, for a game Hasbro already C+D'd before Faust started working on it.
If "Twilight Sparkle" passed legal in an era where everyone was laughing over sparky vampires from Twilight, anything goes.
We live in a society where fucking with brand logos to say "Sbubbway: Eaf freef" or "McNandos: I am the it" will cause a brief moment of discomfort to laugh off, but seeing the flags of nations and ideologies fucked with or burned or photoshopped full of some other nation or ideology's symbols does nothing to us.
Every family has its ups and downs. Except for families with downs syndrome. They just have downs.
My roommates are such faggots.
Imagine being born taller than the average tall person. You could get fit and get girls. But you're a faggot who never showers and never exercises and never eats healthily, instead smoking and drinking heavily, fucking up your body. When you go out and interact wih women, they laugh at you and your gay accent. It's not even a location's accent. It's just a gay accent. Women egg you on into wasting money on them so often that you run out of money for the month and cannot afford food. This happens to you so often that your parents, who cannot stand keeping you in the house, still have to micromanage your finances and how much money you can get per week, only for you to waste most of it on microwaved burgers, monster energy, booze, and smokes anyway. You have imagined being faggot A.
Now imagine being a regular nondescript uninteresting unmotivated unintelligent guy raised solo by a whiny rich mother. A white boy who acts like a girl obsessed with niggers and shitty Netflix shows about niggers and tiktok and expensive clothing. Imagine treating workers like shit wherever you go. Imagine showing off your rich clothes to poor people and getting pouty when they give no shits about youtuber merch and silly overpriced jackets. Imagine being such a faggot that you sit on the floor over the age of 20 and pout and expect people to put in the effort to sloooowly work information out of you and get you to calm down and stop being an embarassment to white males. Imagine knowing you are a faggot and feeling so embarassed about it that when you pout over someone "condescendingly" asking you to take out the trash when it is your turn or throw shit in the trash not at the trash, you pout and verbally vaguepost to strangers willing to assume the best in you and give you emotional validation. Imagine being such a faggot that when you have a baby meltdown in college over the age of 20 at a course meant to help you find a job, not that you need one or would ever get one, momma gives you over a week off college to spend time on a cruise ship that goes to fucking spain, and you come back only to start whining and picking unwinnable fights with various stronger men the second you come back. Imagine being the kind of guy who needs caffeine in pretty much everything he eats and drinks only to then take sleeping pills and uppers and downers and complain about being hyperactive and high and anxious while lacking adult coping mechanisms to handle fear. I once knew someone with real ADHD, caffiene calmed him down and helped him focus. I have ADHD too but it's not as extreme as that guy's. And this faggot doesn't actually have ADHD, he just has poor self control and little sense of personal responsibility. This fucker swore at someone over the phone last week because she travelled across the border to meet him. Seemed like a family member. She was staying a a hotel. It was 1230ish. And she was at the border in her car, driving to him, but traffic got in the way. At worst she would arrive at 8pm. And he acts like she's betrayed him for some reason, he yells at her over the phone and tells her to "forget it" and not see him until tomorrow, he hangs up and throws his hyper expensive phone and becomes our problem, some woman rushes to him to babble platitudes while the men stare wondering if he needs to be held down, he starts pouting and screaming and knocking shit over, carefully making sure to stay away from my shit because he's not totally retarded, there's enough grey matter mixed in with the nigger cum and jewish poison pills in his skull to recognize when something would be extremely painful for him. Everything about him is performative, it's fake. He has the capacity to control where his tantrums take him and stop the second he's with someone who threatens to tell mumsy or restrain the faggot instead of trying to soothe his ego. He can control himself and chooses not to. He uploads himself tiktok dancing at 3am until his neighbour threatens him with violence to make him stop. This faggot pisses me off. I've been playing nice and reaching out, trying to bond with the faggot, trying to be a good influence, but he's just not ready to be an adult and live away from mommy. This karenman is no man. Imagine being the kind of guy who sits down in public places and tells people who were there first having their own conversations to shut the fuck up so you can have some quiet time and be alone, even though this is all a ploy for emotional validation and you'll stomp off to your empty maidenless bedroom if people piss you off by staring at you silently or trying not to laugh instead of deliately and eagerly trying to soothe your bruised ego. Faggot B is such a huge fucking faggot he makes me think I've viewed faggot A in too harshly a light. FA was probably raised on that jewish chemical poison, giving him an excuse to be addicted. But FB is just a faggot. Such a faggot that if I put him into a novel he would be called an unrealistic caricature of the whites set up for failure by their mothers and social media. He's too stupid for political discussion and hates white people. Probably should have led with that. But if there is anything good about this guy, he reminds me why it is important for a man to strive for his own success and never grow complacent with the hand life has dealt him. Fate spoiled him from an early age, and he's too gay to be the protagonist of a story where the rich cunt loses everything and has to grow into a good man to survive.
Imagine being born taller than the average tall person. You could get fit and get girls. But you're a faggot who never showers and never exercises and never eats healthily, instead smoking and drinking heavily, fucking up your body. When you go out and interact wih women, they laugh at you and your gay accent. It's not even a location's accent. It's just a gay accent. Women egg you on into wasting money on them so often that you run out of money for the month and cannot afford food. This happens to you so often that your parents, who cannot stand keeping you in the house, still have to micromanage your finances and how much money you can get per week, only for you to waste most of it on microwaved burgers, monster energy, booze, and smokes anyway. You have imagined being faggot A.
Now imagine being a regular nondescript uninteresting unmotivated unintelligent guy raised solo by a whiny rich mother. A white boy who acts like a girl obsessed with niggers and shitty Netflix shows about niggers and tiktok and expensive clothing. Imagine treating workers like shit wherever you go. Imagine showing off your rich clothes to poor people and getting pouty when they give no shits about youtuber merch and silly overpriced jackets. Imagine being such a faggot that you sit on the floor over the age of 20 and pout and expect people to put in the effort to sloooowly work information out of you and get you to calm down and stop being an embarassment to white males. Imagine knowing you are a faggot and feeling so embarassed about it that when you pout over someone "condescendingly" asking you to take out the trash when it is your turn or throw shit in the trash not at the trash, you pout and verbally vaguepost to strangers willing to assume the best in you and give you emotional validation. Imagine being such a faggot that when you have a baby meltdown in college over the age of 20 at a course meant to help you find a job, not that you need one or would ever get one, momma gives you over a week off college to spend time on a cruise ship that goes to fucking spain, and you come back only to start whining and picking unwinnable fights with various stronger men the second you come back. Imagine being the kind of guy who needs caffeine in pretty much everything he eats and drinks only to then take sleeping pills and uppers and downers and complain about being hyperactive and high and anxious while lacking adult coping mechanisms to handle fear. I once knew someone with real ADHD, caffiene calmed him down and helped him focus. I have ADHD too but it's not as extreme as that guy's. And this faggot doesn't actually have ADHD, he just has poor self control and little sense of personal responsibility. This fucker swore at someone over the phone last week because she travelled across the border to meet him. Seemed like a family member. She was staying a a hotel. It was 1230ish. And she was at the border in her car, driving to him, but traffic got in the way. At worst she would arrive at 8pm. And he acts like she's betrayed him for some reason, he yells at her over the phone and tells her to "forget it" and not see him until tomorrow, he hangs up and throws his hyper expensive phone and becomes our problem, some woman rushes to him to babble platitudes while the men stare wondering if he needs to be held down, he starts pouting and screaming and knocking shit over, carefully making sure to stay away from my shit because he's not totally retarded, there's enough grey matter mixed in with the nigger cum and jewish poison pills in his skull to recognize when something would be extremely painful for him. Everything about him is performative, it's fake. He has the capacity to control where his tantrums take him and stop the second he's with someone who threatens to tell mumsy or restrain the faggot instead of trying to soothe his ego. He can control himself and chooses not to. He uploads himself tiktok dancing at 3am until his neighbour threatens him with violence to make him stop. This faggot pisses me off. I've been playing nice and reaching out, trying to bond with the faggot, trying to be a good influence, but he's just not ready to be an adult and live away from mommy. This karenman is no man. Imagine being the kind of guy who sits down in public places and tells people who were there first having their own conversations to shut the fuck up so you can have some quiet time and be alone, even though this is all a ploy for emotional validation and you'll stomp off to your empty maidenless bedroom if people piss you off by staring at you silently or trying not to laugh instead of deliately and eagerly trying to soothe your bruised ego. Faggot B is such a huge fucking faggot he makes me think I've viewed faggot A in too harshly a light. FA was probably raised on that jewish chemical poison, giving him an excuse to be addicted. But FB is just a faggot. Such a faggot that if I put him into a novel he would be called an unrealistic caricature of the whites set up for failure by their mothers and social media. He's too stupid for political discussion and hates white people. Probably should have led with that. But if there is anything good about this guy, he reminds me why it is important for a man to strive for his own success and never grow complacent with the hand life has dealt him. Fate spoiled him from an early age, and he's too gay to be the protagonist of a story where the rich cunt loses everything and has to grow into a good man to survive.
>>5479
Does he browse 4chan? Does he have anime figures he cums on? Do you want to bend him over and fuck him?
Does he browse 4chan? Does he have anime figures he cums on? Do you want to bend him over and fuck him?
>>5479
>having roommates
sorry to hear about your failing gay marriage.
> He uploads himself tiktok dancing at 3am until his neighbour threatens him with violence to make him stop.
lol. lmao, even.
>having roommates
sorry to hear about your failing gay marriage.
> He uploads himself tiktok dancing at 3am until his neighbour threatens him with violence to make him stop.
lol. lmao, even.
>>5481
I can't imagine anyone alive wanting to fuck Wig Smoke or Generation LGBTQZ Humor Compilation. I certainly wouldn't want to do that.
>>5482
You try living in a nice house in a niggerless area on my low salary without roommates to make the house affordable.
Also he doesn't dance often, that was a one time thing.
I can't imagine anyone alive wanting to fuck Wig Smoke or Generation LGBTQZ Humor Compilation. I certainly wouldn't want to do that.
>>5482
You try living in a nice house in a niggerless area on my low salary without roommates to make the house affordable.
Also he doesn't dance often, that was a one time thing.
My roommates are people. It's easy to get caught up in what makes people bad and miss what makes them good. My roommates were good to me today, and I think they have the potential to be great people.
All sorts of people out there are people. Confusing, complicated, irrational people, usually clinging to what they were told is true, and what they think they have to be to get by. Some people spend so long surrounded by NPCs they forget how to switch to human mode. People wear masks and erect barriers to keep others out. I wish more people had access to mental health resources. Then again they sort of do, anyone can pirate any knowledge if they have what they need to get it. But not everyone has what they need. Some people have the desire to do good and no idea how to do it.
What if there was a charity with a printing press that torrented knowledge and produced physical copies of useful books that cannot be sold and must be given to libraries? What if libraries had a "legal piratebay" exclusively for downloading copies of the useful knowledge within their pages? What if there was another yearly World Book Day but for valuable information only? If Weimerica wasn't scammed by pissrael and the military industrial complex, how much good could 75% of all that yearly military money do for whites? There might even be money left over to spend on factual documentaries detailing how the Globalists were dethroned, how the Communist problem was solved, and how white genocide was ended.
All sorts of people out there are people. Confusing, complicated, irrational people, usually clinging to what they were told is true, and what they think they have to be to get by. Some people spend so long surrounded by NPCs they forget how to switch to human mode. People wear masks and erect barriers to keep others out. I wish more people had access to mental health resources. Then again they sort of do, anyone can pirate any knowledge if they have what they need to get it. But not everyone has what they need. Some people have the desire to do good and no idea how to do it.
What if there was a charity with a printing press that torrented knowledge and produced physical copies of useful books that cannot be sold and must be given to libraries? What if libraries had a "legal piratebay" exclusively for downloading copies of the useful knowledge within their pages? What if there was another yearly World Book Day but for valuable information only? If Weimerica wasn't scammed by pissrael and the military industrial complex, how much good could 75% of all that yearly military money do for whites? There might even be money left over to spend on factual documentaries detailing how the Globalists were dethroned, how the Communist problem was solved, and how white genocide was ended.
I have been skimming scifi stories. Published ones. If the fbi asks I totally spent money on them haha.
A lot of it is shit.
Maybe futa is gay.
It seems a lot of futa fans are gay and just want to be treated like cute girls by big strong domineering aggressive larger females. Or they literally just want a man in their ass and drawing him as a chick makes it feel less gay. Funny how even gays dont want to be gay sometimes.
Sure, a futa species's females could reproduce with pretty much anything they encounter within reason which is optimal. But what about the males? If there are no males of a species that means you cannot produce sons with them which is gay. Gays draw male futas as men with pussies which is disgusting wrong weird gay degenerate tranny shit. It would make more sense for alien futa males to seem entirely male from the outside and insert automatically self-fertilized eggs with their ovipositor penis. That would be the optimal way for a futa species to maintain optimal breeding rates while having distinct males and females. Which is necessary, of course. Any species with similar males and females would be conquered by more masculine men whose children are produced by more feminine women. The female ovipositor could also have this feature. The males can impregnate their females, or they can both impregnate willing hosts of other alien races without racemixing their species away. They get to choose whether they eject jizz for genetic mixing with their own species or self fertilized eggs to avoid mixing. Sure the man could still technically lay eggs on his own which is kinda gay, and after fertilizing his own eggs he would have to regularly eject them before they grow too large and damage a body not meant to keep eggs inside it for too long(if he can grow eggs inside him to completion that's mpreg fetish shit which is fucking gay), but he would be able to hijack the womb of any sufficiently mature female with a womb and impregnate her. Impregnation is by definition the straightest possible thing after all. Besides handholding and consensual married sex in the missionary position.
It is easy to design something not gay. So why do so many scifi authors use alien sex as an excuse to indulge in weird fetishes like mpreg and sex role reversal and androgyny? And the latter IS a fetish. It's a fetish for perverts. Like eating shit and licking blood.
Every kink and fetish is gay. Except impregnation, because that's normal.
A lot of it is shit.
Maybe futa is gay.
It seems a lot of futa fans are gay and just want to be treated like cute girls by big strong domineering aggressive larger females. Or they literally just want a man in their ass and drawing him as a chick makes it feel less gay. Funny how even gays dont want to be gay sometimes.
Sure, a futa species's females could reproduce with pretty much anything they encounter within reason which is optimal. But what about the males? If there are no males of a species that means you cannot produce sons with them which is gay. Gays draw male futas as men with pussies which is disgusting wrong weird gay degenerate tranny shit. It would make more sense for alien futa males to seem entirely male from the outside and insert automatically self-fertilized eggs with their ovipositor penis. That would be the optimal way for a futa species to maintain optimal breeding rates while having distinct males and females. Which is necessary, of course. Any species with similar males and females would be conquered by more masculine men whose children are produced by more feminine women. The female ovipositor could also have this feature. The males can impregnate their females, or they can both impregnate willing hosts of other alien races without racemixing their species away. They get to choose whether they eject jizz for genetic mixing with their own species or self fertilized eggs to avoid mixing. Sure the man could still technically lay eggs on his own which is kinda gay, and after fertilizing his own eggs he would have to regularly eject them before they grow too large and damage a body not meant to keep eggs inside it for too long(if he can grow eggs inside him to completion that's mpreg fetish shit which is fucking gay), but he would be able to hijack the womb of any sufficiently mature female with a womb and impregnate her. Impregnation is by definition the straightest possible thing after all. Besides handholding and consensual married sex in the missionary position.
It is easy to design something not gay. So why do so many scifi authors use alien sex as an excuse to indulge in weird fetishes like mpreg and sex role reversal and androgyny? And the latter IS a fetish. It's a fetish for perverts. Like eating shit and licking blood.
Every kink and fetish is gay. Except impregnation, because that's normal.
>>5492
Seriously, the amount of mental energy you expend thinking about dicks and futa porn and weird stuff like that is just not healthy. Maybe the solution for you is to just switch off the internet foe awhile. Anyway, I still don’t understand why you would feel compelled to share any of the information you’ve shared, to answer your original question, yes; I do think you should get therapy.
Seriously, the amount of mental energy you expend thinking about dicks and futa porn and weird stuff like that is just not healthy. Maybe the solution for you is to just switch off the internet foe awhile. Anyway, I still don’t understand why you would feel compelled to share any of the information you’ve shared, to answer your original question, yes; I do think you should get therapy.
>>5493
Writing stuff down takes a lot longer than thinking it. I think many thoughts per day. I don't think about this stuff all day, but reading "great modern works" (and skimming/skipping the weird gay parts, dropping the book if there's too much gay shit) made me think about how a book about alien sex could do it better. only retarded writers say "My species is bisexual and androgynous and more willing to fuck strangers and that makes them better than humans". That just makes you a pervert who dreams of a world with more sex, and less meaningful sex. Your females won't reproduce as often as females designed to do that better and your males won't be as strong or fast or enduring as manlier beings built to win fights and invent things no woman could. Your females are trying to be males instead of being females and your males can't compete fairly with females without thrashing them and losing support of the men supporting them. Your females lack horsepussy and your males lack testosterone. Your species lacks Jesus and your birth rates are shit. Gay. Relying on "My species is magic because I said so" is gay. Anyone can write about the world's strongest wizard solving every problem with a snap of his fingers and it wouldn't impress anyone. Why are scifi authors so easily impressed by mary sue wizards whose bullshit superpowers are disguised as "Scifi stuff"? I bet the strongest sci-fi species ever would be one with the superpower to disable everyone else's superpowers. Luck and the author's favoritism would be another superpower that can be disabled. No more psychically listening to someone else's thoughts from four galaxies and twenty universes away. No more magically overwriting reality with your own willpower. No more bullshit scifi tech that does whatever it needs to because "Insert troll science here". No more having more powers than Superman without limits. No more dystopian society that only seems utopian because of the author's fucking retarded commie liedeology. God I fucking hate enemy propaganda, and it seems like it's everywhere.
>>5494
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBCbQmfT2mU
Writing stuff down takes a lot longer than thinking it. I think many thoughts per day. I don't think about this stuff all day, but reading "great modern works" (and skimming/skipping the weird gay parts, dropping the book if there's too much gay shit) made me think about how a book about alien sex could do it better. only retarded writers say "My species is bisexual and androgynous and more willing to fuck strangers and that makes them better than humans". That just makes you a pervert who dreams of a world with more sex, and less meaningful sex. Your females won't reproduce as often as females designed to do that better and your males won't be as strong or fast or enduring as manlier beings built to win fights and invent things no woman could. Your females are trying to be males instead of being females and your males can't compete fairly with females without thrashing them and losing support of the men supporting them. Your females lack horsepussy and your males lack testosterone. Your species lacks Jesus and your birth rates are shit. Gay. Relying on "My species is magic because I said so" is gay. Anyone can write about the world's strongest wizard solving every problem with a snap of his fingers and it wouldn't impress anyone. Why are scifi authors so easily impressed by mary sue wizards whose bullshit superpowers are disguised as "Scifi stuff"? I bet the strongest sci-fi species ever would be one with the superpower to disable everyone else's superpowers. Luck and the author's favoritism would be another superpower that can be disabled. No more psychically listening to someone else's thoughts from four galaxies and twenty universes away. No more magically overwriting reality with your own willpower. No more bullshit scifi tech that does whatever it needs to because "Insert troll science here". No more having more powers than Superman without limits. No more dystopian society that only seems utopian because of the author's fucking retarded commie liedeology. God I fucking hate enemy propaganda, and it seems like it's everywhere.
>>5494
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBCbQmfT2mU
>>5495
Its actually worse than that. Technically, he's not projecting, he's opining based on a literal inability to NOT think of porn all day. No surprise its a furry as well.
Literally, he cant stop thinking of porn all day, and so he cant conceive of a person NOT thinking of porn all day.
This is the hidden toll of masturbation. He literally cant conceive of anything other than degeneracy, all day.
Anyone wanna take guesses as to what he's NOT thinking of and getting his shit together while doing all that fapping?
Its actually worse than that. Technically, he's not projecting, he's opining based on a literal inability to NOT think of porn all day. No surprise its a furry as well.
Literally, he cant stop thinking of porn all day, and so he cant conceive of a person NOT thinking of porn all day.
This is the hidden toll of masturbation. He literally cant conceive of anything other than degeneracy, all day.
Anyone wanna take guesses as to what he's NOT thinking of and getting his shit together while doing all that fapping?
>>5498
Its all fine and good to posture at an unabashed furry degenerate, but understand that (not exclusively) furry degeneracy is becoming increasingly normalized. Take your jabs, no one is saying 'dont', but realize that by striking at the degenerate youre addressing the symptom, and not the problem
Its all fine and good to posture at an unabashed furry degenerate, but understand that (not exclusively) furry degeneracy is becoming increasingly normalized. Take your jabs, no one is saying 'dont', but realize that by striking at the degenerate youre addressing the symptom, and not the problem
>>5499
>but realize that by striking at the degenerate youre addressing the symptom, and not the problem
By brooming the trash everyday we improve our lives. Even if the trash reappears everyday.
>but realize that by striking at the degenerate youre addressing the symptom, and not the problem
By brooming the trash everyday we improve our lives. Even if the trash reappears everyday.
>>5497
Wow, porn is fucked up.
You know what else is fucked up? In the degenerate circles, that tweet probably got him praise. Twitter would likely ban or shadowban the harshest responses to his post. So as far as he's concerned, that was a great virtue-signal because it got him praise from his crowd. The degenerate crowd.
But sometimes I wonder...
If porn is inherently corrupt, why do the Jews try so hard to get a monopoly on porn and shove their porn into everyone else's faces?
Their porn perverts sex into this crude animalistic act, an expression of violence and dominance over the helpless, something devoid of love. Their porn promotes racemixing, fucking cousins and stepsiblings and siblings, fucking strangers who enter your house like repairmen and food deliverers, whoring yourself out casually for fame and fortune.
But when nonjeews write healthy love stories about being in a healthy married relationship with Twilight Sparkle and fucking her, or draw her sticking her horsepussy out without any degenerate domination themes, that's a clear improvement. It's an expression of love for best pony, all that makes her best pony, and all that makes the pony superior to the femoid.
Wow, porn is fucked up.
You know what else is fucked up? In the degenerate circles, that tweet probably got him praise. Twitter would likely ban or shadowban the harshest responses to his post. So as far as he's concerned, that was a great virtue-signal because it got him praise from his crowd. The degenerate crowd.
But sometimes I wonder...
If porn is inherently corrupt, why do the Jews try so hard to get a monopoly on porn and shove their porn into everyone else's faces?
Their porn perverts sex into this crude animalistic act, an expression of violence and dominance over the helpless, something devoid of love. Their porn promotes racemixing, fucking cousins and stepsiblings and siblings, fucking strangers who enter your house like repairmen and food deliverers, whoring yourself out casually for fame and fortune.
But when nonjeews write healthy love stories about being in a healthy married relationship with Twilight Sparkle and fucking her, or draw her sticking her horsepussy out without any degenerate domination themes, that's a clear improvement. It's an expression of love for best pony, all that makes her best pony, and all that makes the pony superior to the femoid.
>>5501
... yeah. Its almost like the lion's share of jewish activity is subversive, more or less. I hear the sky tends to be blue these days as well.
... yeah. Its almost like the lion's share of jewish activity is subversive, more or less. I hear the sky tends to be blue these days as well.
>>5504
In that case you'll like the Sonic game I'm working on, it has a mechanic inspired by the ninja game Naruto: Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja: Storm: 4
In that case you'll like the Sonic game I'm working on, it has a mechanic inspired by the ninja game Naruto: Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja: Storm: 4
>>5506
Wanna try this, but I've heard it's bat-shit hard. In case you've played it, how hard is it compared to the old God of War games?
Wanna try this, but I've heard it's bat-shit hard. In case you've played it, how hard is it compared to the old God of War games?
>>5496
> Writing stuff down takes a lot longer than thinking it. I think many thoughts per day.
This just raises further questions. Obviously writing down a thought is harder than thinking it, which is why most people don’t bother writing down their thoughts until they have something worth writing down. Why did you think this thought was worth writing about? Even more important: why did you think that what you wrote was worth sharing with the world? Why would you think that any other human would be interested in your thoughts about dicks and futa porn? What was going through your mind when it occurred to you to make this post?
> I don't think about this stuff all day, but reading "great modern works" (and skimming/skipping the weird gay parts, dropping the book if there's too much gay shit) made me think about how a book about alien sex could do it better
What “great modern works” have gay futa alien sex in them? Seriously, I’m curious about what specific titles you were reading. I think you might have some skewed ideas about what constitutes a great modern work.
>if you’re anti porn why do you think about it all day
I actually never said I was anti porn, and I don’t think about it all day. That was kind of my point, actually. Porn is no different than food or alcohol or anything else that people enjoy. It’s probably not going to harm you as long as you have some self control, but if you’re constantly thinking and writing about it, as you clearly are, then you obviously have a problem. For me, porn is pretty utilitarian; if I feel compelled to view it, I just pull some up, rub one out real quick, and then close the tab. Whole process consumes about ten minutes if even. Furthermore, to the extent that I do consume porn, most of what I look at is pretty vanilla. I’ve never felt compelled to look up all this weird furry alien futa stuff that you’re rambling about, let alone write an entire essay about it and publish it to an audience who have never expressed an interest in the subject matter. And that’s really the heart of the issue here: I’m trying to point out to you that your thoughts and behavior aren’t normal. You really should consider just shutting off your internet and finding something healthy and productive to do with your time.
> Writing stuff down takes a lot longer than thinking it. I think many thoughts per day.
This just raises further questions. Obviously writing down a thought is harder than thinking it, which is why most people don’t bother writing down their thoughts until they have something worth writing down. Why did you think this thought was worth writing about? Even more important: why did you think that what you wrote was worth sharing with the world? Why would you think that any other human would be interested in your thoughts about dicks and futa porn? What was going through your mind when it occurred to you to make this post?
> I don't think about this stuff all day, but reading "great modern works" (and skimming/skipping the weird gay parts, dropping the book if there's too much gay shit) made me think about how a book about alien sex could do it better
What “great modern works” have gay futa alien sex in them? Seriously, I’m curious about what specific titles you were reading. I think you might have some skewed ideas about what constitutes a great modern work.
>if you’re anti porn why do you think about it all day
I actually never said I was anti porn, and I don’t think about it all day. That was kind of my point, actually. Porn is no different than food or alcohol or anything else that people enjoy. It’s probably not going to harm you as long as you have some self control, but if you’re constantly thinking and writing about it, as you clearly are, then you obviously have a problem. For me, porn is pretty utilitarian; if I feel compelled to view it, I just pull some up, rub one out real quick, and then close the tab. Whole process consumes about ten minutes if even. Furthermore, to the extent that I do consume porn, most of what I look at is pretty vanilla. I’ve never felt compelled to look up all this weird furry alien futa stuff that you’re rambling about, let alone write an entire essay about it and publish it to an audience who have never expressed an interest in the subject matter. And that’s really the heart of the issue here: I’m trying to point out to you that your thoughts and behavior aren’t normal. You really should consider just shutting off your internet and finding something healthy and productive to do with your time.
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Love is beautiful.
There's so much faggoted gay shit in scifi and fantasy stories it makes me want to purge all sexual content from my work instead of trying to "get it right".
No more sex, no more lengthy descriptions of Sunny's Dragon-Unicorn horsecock and his wife's tits and ass, no expressing personality and the state of his relationship and the state he is in through sex. No sex at all.
Then again if the main hero never has sex people might think he's gay. And for the happy ending where the hero retires with a wife and countless kids, impregnation must happen. So he will do sex offscreen.
No more sex, no more lengthy descriptions of Sunny's Dragon-Unicorn horsecock and his wife's tits and ass, no expressing personality and the state of his relationship and the state he is in through sex. No sex at all.
Then again if the main hero never has sex people might think he's gay. And for the happy ending where the hero retires with a wife and countless kids, impregnation must happen. So he will do sex offscreen.
>>5520
Glad to see you coming around fren. You can always describe the sounds heard outside the bedroom/bridal chamber
Glad to see you coming around fren. You can always describe the sounds heard outside the bedroom/bridal chamber
>starting game with a choice between 3 starters
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a choice between 3 random starters from different gens
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a choice between some random non starters
Gay, been done before
>starting game with choice betweem all 18ish starters
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a room full of starter choices
Gay, been done before
>starting game with dream sequence in which you run around an endless field, catching all the pokemon you want Safari Zone style, before getting on with the main game when your time or ball collection runs out, adding a party size checker NPC and pokemon store to the initial area to pevent softlocking, and a hotel that sends those who sleep within it back to that Dream World dream sequence with more time and safari balls
Genius
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a choice between 3 random starters from different gens
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a choice between some random non starters
Gay, been done before
>starting game with choice betweem all 18ish starters
Gay, been done before
>starting game with a room full of starter choices
Gay, been done before
>starting game with dream sequence in which you run around an endless field, catching all the pokemon you want Safari Zone style, before getting on with the main game when your time or ball collection runs out, adding a party size checker NPC and pokemon store to the initial area to pevent softlocking, and a hotel that sends those who sleep within it back to that Dream World dream sequence with more time and safari balls
Genius
>>5525
Normal pokemon game
Pokemon Legends Arceus
Pokemon Snakewood
My original Pokemon Pink CBT
And some fangame I forget the name of used the "walk around a room full of overworld sprites as starter choices" method.
All of these games already did the old tricks I mentioned.
Both "give Professor Oak his own safari zone so the player can catch a pokemon using safari balls or a rental pokemon for catching wild Pokemon" have been done before.
Even "lmao just give the player a pikachu or eeevee" have been done, and that's before Let's Go Eevee promoted it to mascot status. Eevee should have always been the Pokemon mascot, he's cuter and stronger than Pikachu and more interesting.
But my new opener for my new Pokemon fangame is perfect.
It's a dream sequence so it does not have to make sense. It just has to be playable and good for the game. And it is.
By starting the game with lv25 safari ball capture opportunities and capping levels at 50, grind is effectively eliminated and the new region's level curve can gradually climb towards 40 even as enemy trainers use lv50 Pokemon.
With EVs and IVs perfected, and movepools redefined, I think this game is going to be better than my last Pokemon fangame.
What did you guys think of Pokemon Pink CBT anyway?
Normal pokemon game
Pokemon Legends Arceus
Pokemon Snakewood
My original Pokemon Pink CBT
And some fangame I forget the name of used the "walk around a room full of overworld sprites as starter choices" method.
All of these games already did the old tricks I mentioned.
Both "give Professor Oak his own safari zone so the player can catch a pokemon using safari balls or a rental pokemon for catching wild Pokemon" have been done before.
Even "lmao just give the player a pikachu or eeevee" have been done, and that's before Let's Go Eevee promoted it to mascot status. Eevee should have always been the Pokemon mascot, he's cuter and stronger than Pikachu and more interesting.
But my new opener for my new Pokemon fangame is perfect.
It's a dream sequence so it does not have to make sense. It just has to be playable and good for the game. And it is.
By starting the game with lv25 safari ball capture opportunities and capping levels at 50, grind is effectively eliminated and the new region's level curve can gradually climb towards 40 even as enemy trainers use lv50 Pokemon.
With EVs and IVs perfected, and movepools redefined, I think this game is going to be better than my last Pokemon fangame.
What did you guys think of Pokemon Pink CBT anyway?
It's my birthday today. Im telling you this because th8s year is the f9rst year since I was 8 that I have felt comfortable telling ANYONE about my birthday.
The practice began when my best friend and her mom were killed in an accident on their way to my birthday party.
As a kid I blames myself, 'if I hadnt invited them they'd still be alive'.
As I grew, I came to appreciate that it WASNT my fault, and yet any mention of birthdays (especially my own) was deeply upsetting to me, especially around people who quite innocently couldnt fathom why someone WASNT excited about their birthday.
Ive spent 34 years trying to shield myself from having to revisit something that I quite understandably couldnt handle as a child.
Well, Im done with that. Im not any more excited about birthdays than I used to be, but Ive reached a point that I dont have to hide the fact, and I no longer need to modify my behavior because I have scars from past events.
And FWIW OP, Ive gotten there with the help of a therapist. Hope that hrlps, thanks for listening.
The practice began when my best friend and her mom were killed in an accident on their way to my birthday party.
As a kid I blames myself, 'if I hadnt invited them they'd still be alive'.
As I grew, I came to appreciate that it WASNT my fault, and yet any mention of birthdays (especially my own) was deeply upsetting to me, especially around people who quite innocently couldnt fathom why someone WASNT excited about their birthday.
Ive spent 34 years trying to shield myself from having to revisit something that I quite understandably couldnt handle as a child.
Well, Im done with that. Im not any more excited about birthdays than I used to be, but Ive reached a point that I dont have to hide the fact, and I no longer need to modify my behavior because I have scars from past events.
And FWIW OP, Ive gotten there with the help of a therapist. Hope that hrlps, thanks for listening.
>watch "sjw owned compilation" vids on TV's youtube app at friends house
>normie friends who normally watch family guy and tolerate SJWness sit with me, watch, and we laugh our asses off
>they normally don't want to see anti sjw vids on my phone, but the TV is special
>the TV is the key
>we we laugh, walk them through understanding the left's psychopozzed tranny shit
I feel like I just accidentally discovered a cheatcode
Like glitching yourself out of bounds and inside the walls of a game to break it in half
They're used to accepting the TV as their new source of programming
I wonder how far I could push this
>normie friends who normally watch family guy and tolerate SJWness sit with me, watch, and we laugh our asses off
>they normally don't want to see anti sjw vids on my phone, but the TV is special
>the TV is the key
>we we laugh, walk them through understanding the left's psychopozzed tranny shit
I feel like I just accidentally discovered a cheatcode
Like glitching yourself out of bounds and inside the walls of a game to break it in half
They're used to accepting the TV as their new source of programming
I wonder how far I could push this
>>5529
Also thank you for sharing this with me. Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault that my little sister's brainwashed fully by my parents, wants nothing to do with me, and just wants to be theirs.
Maybe if I did more to teach her right from wrong at an early age she would have turned out better? I never did anything that drove her into the arms of her parents, they just abused me and mentally abused her, made her dependent on their feigned feelings of approval. If they caught us talking casually about TV or anime or playing games together and having a good time they'd butt in, make it all about them. Such disgracefully childish behaviour from those fourty somethings. I wonder if they're 50 now. Maybe even 60. I recall one's birthday because it is close to mine but I couldn't tell you the years my parents were born in.
Maybe if I knew what was going on back then and was able to get the help I needed, somebody would have taken us out of that abusive household. But alas, child protective services worth a damn don't do what they did with my family: send a woman over to warn my parents whenever I'm opening up to people again and trusting them enough to tell them the truth. My sister used to be her own person, and she was smart, but lazy. Something had to be her autistic hyperfixation before she could care much for it. If you think I can get obsessed, you haven't seen her when she gets going. But masking and feigning normalcy so my parents wouldn't treat her like they treated me always came first. Being what her parents wanted came before being true to herself. She'd even join in on verbally abusing me sometimes, so my parents would reward her. We would laugh about that together later. I remember her worrying I secretly hated it. But if it keeps her safe, she can call me a faggot whenever she wants. Sometimes she would claim I hurt her or pissed her off when she really wanted a reward and didn't care what this would get them to do to me. Maybe she wasn't a good person after all. My sister and my parent's daughter were like night and day, and I don't think my sister's even still alive in there. Last time we talked she was so focused on masking and trying to get mommy's attention and trying to brag about what a big girl she is now that she has "put away all childish things" like ambitions and career goals only to get herself some floor cleaning job. Anything to get mummy and daddy more money to waste. Still up to their old tricks, guess some things never change. Must be hard for them, not being able to steal all my money and waste it on their own frivolities only to try and guilt trip their kids over the food they are fed. But my sister never had to be my parents daughter and if she ever had the balls to tell the truth about how I was treated in that household we would both be freed from it. She chose option that seemed easy in the moment and sacrificed her individuality at their altars. Fuck. I don't know if I should be pissed at who she chose to be or pissed at the parents who raised her while I was locked in my cupboard under the stairs. Well, over the stairs. I was still making no noise and pretending I don't exist. It's a fucking experience to see your life represented in a show and played for laughs, and it's another fucking experiende when the villains in your life start cheering on the villains on TV only to growl about their hatred for "silly and childish" fantasy whenever the villains get a small taste of what they fucking deserve. Mom once made this retarded rant online about how she felt Mother Gothel was the real hero of Tangled, a victim of some evil man's manipulation, because fuck young love and something something woman noises word salad. And then she deleted it when the backlash convinced her to hide all the evidence she was wrong, and then she feigned depression symptoms IRL and around the house for sympathy. Anything to emotionally manipulate her audience and get them to view her how she wanted. Fuck knitters.
One thing that really pissed me off back then was how hopeless it felt to be trapped in an area where every adult around you, particularly those with power over you, they all see fit to write you off as a failure because of things that are entirely their fault, not yours. No teacher, I do not know things your school never taught me. No, mom, I don't speak five languages. Because I was not taught these things at a young age, of course. I taught myself how to romhack pokemon roms and torrent anime for fun, scripted and sprite edited, even downloaded RPG maker and made some clumsy shit games constructed entirely from cliches a kid would be familiar with. Intelligent sociopaths would have exploited the fuck out of me for financial gain. But my parents were always stupid narcissistic sociopaths, so they couldn't recognize my intelligence as something to exploit. To them, it was just something that marked me as different, as an Other. Something that marked me as a person different from the ideal son they never felt like raising and had no idea how to talk to. Oh, the things I could have done back then if I had what I had now. An internet connection, a phone, a laptop... I could have recorded their abuse and put it on youtube, maybe that would motivate social workers to do their jobs right. I could have read things my parents did not want me to read, without having to watch over my shoulder and keep some boring game alt tabbed so I can bore them into submission and fucking off should they start hovering over my shoulder. Maybe decades of isolation would not be the start of my life. I could have worked on things I would not have to delete at the end of the session to keep my parents from finding them. Hell, even a wearable USB would have been helpful to give all the shit I started and had to delete a place to be kept and worked on gradually.
Sounds retarded, right? Fourty somethings with a son who's reading about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon's methods for passwords, hating him. Lol.
Also thank you for sharing this with me. Sometimes I wonder if it's my fault that my little sister's brainwashed fully by my parents, wants nothing to do with me, and just wants to be theirs.
Maybe if I did more to teach her right from wrong at an early age she would have turned out better? I never did anything that drove her into the arms of her parents, they just abused me and mentally abused her, made her dependent on their feigned feelings of approval. If they caught us talking casually about TV or anime or playing games together and having a good time they'd butt in, make it all about them. Such disgracefully childish behaviour from those fourty somethings. I wonder if they're 50 now. Maybe even 60. I recall one's birthday because it is close to mine but I couldn't tell you the years my parents were born in.
Maybe if I knew what was going on back then and was able to get the help I needed, somebody would have taken us out of that abusive household. But alas, child protective services worth a damn don't do what they did with my family: send a woman over to warn my parents whenever I'm opening up to people again and trusting them enough to tell them the truth. My sister used to be her own person, and she was smart, but lazy. Something had to be her autistic hyperfixation before she could care much for it. If you think I can get obsessed, you haven't seen her when she gets going. But masking and feigning normalcy so my parents wouldn't treat her like they treated me always came first. Being what her parents wanted came before being true to herself. She'd even join in on verbally abusing me sometimes, so my parents would reward her. We would laugh about that together later. I remember her worrying I secretly hated it. But if it keeps her safe, she can call me a faggot whenever she wants. Sometimes she would claim I hurt her or pissed her off when she really wanted a reward and didn't care what this would get them to do to me. Maybe she wasn't a good person after all. My sister and my parent's daughter were like night and day, and I don't think my sister's even still alive in there. Last time we talked she was so focused on masking and trying to get mommy's attention and trying to brag about what a big girl she is now that she has "put away all childish things" like ambitions and career goals only to get herself some floor cleaning job. Anything to get mummy and daddy more money to waste. Still up to their old tricks, guess some things never change. Must be hard for them, not being able to steal all my money and waste it on their own frivolities only to try and guilt trip their kids over the food they are fed. But my sister never had to be my parents daughter and if she ever had the balls to tell the truth about how I was treated in that household we would both be freed from it. She chose option that seemed easy in the moment and sacrificed her individuality at their altars. Fuck. I don't know if I should be pissed at who she chose to be or pissed at the parents who raised her while I was locked in my cupboard under the stairs. Well, over the stairs. I was still making no noise and pretending I don't exist. It's a fucking experience to see your life represented in a show and played for laughs, and it's another fucking experiende when the villains in your life start cheering on the villains on TV only to growl about their hatred for "silly and childish" fantasy whenever the villains get a small taste of what they fucking deserve. Mom once made this retarded rant online about how she felt Mother Gothel was the real hero of Tangled, a victim of some evil man's manipulation, because fuck young love and something something woman noises word salad. And then she deleted it when the backlash convinced her to hide all the evidence she was wrong, and then she feigned depression symptoms IRL and around the house for sympathy. Anything to emotionally manipulate her audience and get them to view her how she wanted. Fuck knitters.
One thing that really pissed me off back then was how hopeless it felt to be trapped in an area where every adult around you, particularly those with power over you, they all see fit to write you off as a failure because of things that are entirely their fault, not yours. No teacher, I do not know things your school never taught me. No, mom, I don't speak five languages. Because I was not taught these things at a young age, of course. I taught myself how to romhack pokemon roms and torrent anime for fun, scripted and sprite edited, even downloaded RPG maker and made some clumsy shit games constructed entirely from cliches a kid would be familiar with. Intelligent sociopaths would have exploited the fuck out of me for financial gain. But my parents were always stupid narcissistic sociopaths, so they couldn't recognize my intelligence as something to exploit. To them, it was just something that marked me as different, as an Other. Something that marked me as a person different from the ideal son they never felt like raising and had no idea how to talk to. Oh, the things I could have done back then if I had what I had now. An internet connection, a phone, a laptop... I could have recorded their abuse and put it on youtube, maybe that would motivate social workers to do their jobs right. I could have read things my parents did not want me to read, without having to watch over my shoulder and keep some boring game alt tabbed so I can bore them into submission and fucking off should they start hovering over my shoulder. Maybe decades of isolation would not be the start of my life. I could have worked on things I would not have to delete at the end of the session to keep my parents from finding them. Hell, even a wearable USB would have been helpful to give all the shit I started and had to delete a place to be kept and worked on gradually.
Sounds retarded, right? Fourty somethings with a son who's reading about Pokemon Mystery Dungeon's methods for passwords, hating him. Lol.
I did eventually get a phone, USB, and so on
But having it all from the start... I can't imagine how much more productive I could have been with the time I was forced to waste back then due to my limited number of options. Wasn't allowed out. wasn't in a good place anyway so going outside was risky. wasn't allowed to walk to a library and back. I was kept like property and my options were carefully limited. Wasn't allowed to get books while I was out. But sometimes I found ways around the limits. I recall people laughing about how parts of Fifty Shades of Grey was written on the author's blueberry. Well, have you ever tried writing emails to yourself or a throwaway account using a 3DS touchpad and stylus so you can, whenever you get the chance, copypaste it into a text processor with a real computer and upload it somewhere? It's a good thing my parents never knew about the 3ds's ability to view the internet. Then again it was fucking shit. Many sites wouldnt even load on the 3ds. Some friends refused to talk to me on some sites that could load on the 3ds, instead waiting for me to talk to them on sites that couldnt load on the 3ds. And when I was living alone without internet, carefully rationing the shit mobile deal's data, there were some friends who refused to talk to me on sites that were less data intensive than others. Could you imagine being that fucking lazy? I didn't ask for daily conversations on the site, or for that person to check his messages multiple times per day. The person already checked his favourite site multiple times per day and refused to use any other ones because muh brand loyalty. What a fucking gay way to be homosexual. If you don't like a guy just tell him, don't pretend his reason for using another site goes away if you say you don't want to accomodate it. I'm glad I eventually met better people. These are such ridiculously small things... perhaps even unbelievably small things. But for some cunts anything small is still too big. That'a what she said.
Anyway I love my real friends. I sound clingy if I tell them I love them and cherish them and appreciate them every day, but I do love them. And I love my girl. She's better than the last girl. I don't feel like I'm walking on a minefield with her. That is how a certain woman felt. But this one... I feel like I could gamble on a fart and lose right in front of her and she wouldn't give me any shit over it. Not that I would ever be in such a situation of course. I want to sing about my lover. My imaginary girl even likes her! She doesn't know about the imaginary girl, though. It would make me seem weird if I started talking about tulpas... He said on the nazi horse roleplaying forum. Well, at least I don't play world of warcraft or league of legends. At least I don't sacrifice hours of energy every day to gambling gachashit. I made a game, and I will make another. I will make more games.
But having it all from the start... I can't imagine how much more productive I could have been with the time I was forced to waste back then due to my limited number of options. Wasn't allowed out. wasn't in a good place anyway so going outside was risky. wasn't allowed to walk to a library and back. I was kept like property and my options were carefully limited. Wasn't allowed to get books while I was out. But sometimes I found ways around the limits. I recall people laughing about how parts of Fifty Shades of Grey was written on the author's blueberry. Well, have you ever tried writing emails to yourself or a throwaway account using a 3DS touchpad and stylus so you can, whenever you get the chance, copypaste it into a text processor with a real computer and upload it somewhere? It's a good thing my parents never knew about the 3ds's ability to view the internet. Then again it was fucking shit. Many sites wouldnt even load on the 3ds. Some friends refused to talk to me on some sites that could load on the 3ds, instead waiting for me to talk to them on sites that couldnt load on the 3ds. And when I was living alone without internet, carefully rationing the shit mobile deal's data, there were some friends who refused to talk to me on sites that were less data intensive than others. Could you imagine being that fucking lazy? I didn't ask for daily conversations on the site, or for that person to check his messages multiple times per day. The person already checked his favourite site multiple times per day and refused to use any other ones because muh brand loyalty. What a fucking gay way to be homosexual. If you don't like a guy just tell him, don't pretend his reason for using another site goes away if you say you don't want to accomodate it. I'm glad I eventually met better people. These are such ridiculously small things... perhaps even unbelievably small things. But for some cunts anything small is still too big. That'a what she said.
Anyway I love my real friends. I sound clingy if I tell them I love them and cherish them and appreciate them every day, but I do love them. And I love my girl. She's better than the last girl. I don't feel like I'm walking on a minefield with her. That is how a certain woman felt. But this one... I feel like I could gamble on a fart and lose right in front of her and she wouldn't give me any shit over it. Not that I would ever be in such a situation of course. I want to sing about my lover. My imaginary girl even likes her! She doesn't know about the imaginary girl, though. It would make me seem weird if I started talking about tulpas... He said on the nazi horse roleplaying forum. Well, at least I don't play world of warcraft or league of legends. At least I don't sacrifice hours of energy every day to gambling gachashit. I made a game, and I will make another. I will make more games.
It feels unhealthy to hate the enemy this much. But it's logical to hate what is evil. Is it normal to get headaches over this? I should take a break from politics and try to avoid doomscrolling. But I feel guilty if I stick my head in the sand and try to avoid hearing about the deaths and rapes the enemy causes, their war on our economy and futures, and so on. The enemy wants us all raped or dead or enslaved and they think it's funny. The enemy thinks raping us and raping kids is funny. The enemy won't ever stop raping kids. There is no political solution. There is nothing whites can offer to give up in return for peace because we will never have peace as long as we have something the enemy wants and they feel they can take it and us.
Accidentally injured my arm exercising again. I'm pushing myself too hard.
I can't respect any religion other than Christianity because deep down the question "If your God's better than my God where are your magical powers, why are your religion's followers not better off than ours, why didn't he give you the willpower to become an olympic athlete, and why doesn't your God kill our enemies?" burns. Why have Christians survived and prospered and spread despite the Jew's best efforts? What do we have that other religions lack? What do other religions have that we lack? Why do the demons who want to be sent back to hell more than they want to live come for us and what we need? Something about Christianity makes Jews fear it almost as much as they fear Nazism.
Accidentally injured my arm exercising again. I'm pushing myself too hard.
I can't respect any religion other than Christianity because deep down the question "If your God's better than my God where are your magical powers, why are your religion's followers not better off than ours, why didn't he give you the willpower to become an olympic athlete, and why doesn't your God kill our enemies?" burns. Why have Christians survived and prospered and spread despite the Jew's best efforts? What do we have that other religions lack? What do other religions have that we lack? Why do the demons who want to be sent back to hell more than they want to live come for us and what we need? Something about Christianity makes Jews fear it almost as much as they fear Nazism.
Someone I thought was immune to brainwashing because he didn't give a damn what society thinks just found a discord server willing to make him feel loved conditionally and now he has been brainwashed.
FUCK.
I enjoyed talking politics with him long ago. But now he is brainwashed with lefty talking points about gun control.
Fucking gun control! Give him a year and he'll be taking Bad Dragons up his ass and hating the white race.
It feels like I've lost someone close to me to a car crash. Is it wrong to feel that way about a guy getting subverted and corrupted? Is it normal? The person I knew seems to be gone.
FUCK.
I enjoyed talking politics with him long ago. But now he is brainwashed with lefty talking points about gun control.
Fucking gun control! Give him a year and he'll be taking Bad Dragons up his ass and hating the white race.
It feels like I've lost someone close to me to a car crash. Is it wrong to feel that way about a guy getting subverted and corrupted? Is it normal? The person I knew seems to be gone.
>>5541
Ah, another insecure young soul is inducted into a discord cult and groomed. I'm sorry to say it, but he's probably "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" style dead unless he drastically changes course.
It's not wrong at all to feel shitty about it. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. There's nothing wrong with having standards and holding people to them, especially when it isn't easy to do so.
Sorry for your loss. Have an assimilating pony to brighten your day.
Ah, another insecure young soul is inducted into a discord cult and groomed. I'm sorry to say it, but he's probably "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" style dead unless he drastically changes course.
It's not wrong at all to feel shitty about it. You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. There's nothing wrong with having standards and holding people to them, especially when it isn't easy to do so.
Sorry for your loss. Have an assimilating pony to brighten your day.
>>5540
I swear to God, am feeling lonely since December last year.
While there is always much to be learned; more than man can ever hope to cover, let alone master. I still feel like I've finally completed my philosophical journey. What started out as a commie manifesto written while I was eight, has come full circle.
I've spent so much time with "the enemy". It's honestly surreal, these discord fags know that I am an "ebil natsee", I've confirmed it a few years ago already. Yet, their aggression ceased one day. Their attempts at getting under my skin have turned into tears, and long conversations about their inner thoughts and their personal lives. They've come to cry on my shoulder, but...why?
I didn't even noticed when, but I just can't get angry anymore, cannot get sad. I don't even feel hatred anymore, to anything. The attempts to hurt me, to provoke an emotion upon myself, to cloud my judgement; are simply useless at this point.
I've come to accept so many things, things that most people seemingly don't even want to consider as possible, and are sent into sadness trips whenever they do. And yet, I've just decided to carry on regardless, against impossible odds. That loneliness I spoke about is metaphorical, for I think no one else is feeling the same way, and I'm stuck trying to put into words what can hardly be understood whilst feeling it oneself.
I remember the first time I posted here, my shitty english (which was way shittier back then) surely left an impression on poners here. But I do remember one post, it was something along the lines of:
>I think I like this spic, there is no hatred at all on him. There's only fire.
I think I finally understand what this nigger meant.
Sorry nigel, I hope this wasn't too annoying.
I swear to God, am feeling lonely since December last year.
While there is always much to be learned; more than man can ever hope to cover, let alone master. I still feel like I've finally completed my philosophical journey. What started out as a commie manifesto written while I was eight, has come full circle.
I've spent so much time with "the enemy". It's honestly surreal, these discord fags know that I am an "ebil natsee", I've confirmed it a few years ago already. Yet, their aggression ceased one day. Their attempts at getting under my skin have turned into tears, and long conversations about their inner thoughts and their personal lives. They've come to cry on my shoulder, but...why?
I didn't even noticed when, but I just can't get angry anymore, cannot get sad. I don't even feel hatred anymore, to anything. The attempts to hurt me, to provoke an emotion upon myself, to cloud my judgement; are simply useless at this point.
I've come to accept so many things, things that most people seemingly don't even want to consider as possible, and are sent into sadness trips whenever they do. And yet, I've just decided to carry on regardless, against impossible odds. That loneliness I spoke about is metaphorical, for I think no one else is feeling the same way, and I'm stuck trying to put into words what can hardly be understood whilst feeling it oneself.
I remember the first time I posted here, my shitty english (which was way shittier back then) surely left an impression on poners here. But I do remember one post, it was something along the lines of:
>I think I like this spic, there is no hatred at all on him. There's only fire.
I think I finally understand what this nigger meant.
Sorry nigel, I hope this wasn't too annoying.
>>5542
>>5543
Thanks, guys.
I thought someone would be pissed over the absolute finality of comparing what happened to my old friend to a car accident. I thought someone might say "If you are charismatic enough you can convince anyone of anything, it's your fault if bad things happen to you". I've lost someone close to me to a real car accident before. I was far away at the time. Sometimes I wonder if that friend would have been in that car if I wasn't far away at the time.
I just need to focus on what's within my power. I need to focus on these fucking animation frames.
>>5543
Thanks, guys.
I thought someone would be pissed over the absolute finality of comparing what happened to my old friend to a car accident. I thought someone might say "If you are charismatic enough you can convince anyone of anything, it's your fault if bad things happen to you". I've lost someone close to me to a real car accident before. I was far away at the time. Sometimes I wonder if that friend would have been in that car if I wasn't far away at the time.
I just need to focus on what's within my power. I need to focus on these fucking animation frames.
>>5544
Huh?
I think I just patted myself on the back like a faggot.
<"Yeah, you did well Carlos, you did well."
Anyway, I think you're making the right call with your life now. Hope it serves you well.
Huh?
I think I just patted myself on the back like a faggot.
<"Yeah, you did well Carlos, you did well."
Anyway, I think you're making the right call with your life now. Hope it serves you well.
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