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nuts5.jpg
Fuggin Nuts
Anonymous
9PmiK
?
No.61616
61617 61618 61619 61620 61657 61830
That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.

This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.

Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?

Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.

Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.

Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1319 replies and 70 files omitted.
XUORR
?
No.62345
62347
[1d20 = 10]
>>62343
Oh god dammit...
Brad, you've got like +10 Charisma, right? Try to turn them.
Rolling to attack whatever attacks her.
Tzjcc
?
No.62346
62365
[1d20 = 17]
>>62343
Stix’ attack of opportunity
“I hope not.”
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62347
62348 62349
>>62344
Both Trump and Fae (will, on her turn) destroy the first available target, Trump getting an automatic Cleave attempt.
>>62345
Knowing that sneak attacks are useless against undead, Tracy double-stabs the first available. She's behind Trump/Fae? Is she ahead of or behind Stix or behind?
ed/oZ
?
No.62348
[1d20 = 10]
>>62347
Huzzah! Cleave
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62349
62350
>>62347
She's as far back as the range of her chain allows, behind him.
Can she take a 5 foot step back?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62350
62351
>>62349
Tracy Takes a step back, Cleaving a second black. Combat reflexes?
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62351
62355
>>62350
Yes. Her dex is +5.
69J36
?
No.62352
62353 62354 62355
[2d8+2 = 14]
[1d20 = 20]
Gonna go ahead and roll Snek's attack.
He targets the nearest... Thing.
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62353
>>62352
Nice one!
69J36
?
No.62354
[1d10 = 10]
>>62352
>20
Oh yeah. That triggers an icy burst.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62355
62356 62357
>>62351
Not cleave rather, attack of opportunity.
>>62352
Capping one in the shoulder, and then in the face, Snek drops one of the charging creatures. He thp thps the air in satisfaction looking comically murderous in his Pinochet hat and sunglasses.

Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62356
62358
19247710_1373607779374204_8591524334601606607_n.png
>>62355
The chain should also have infinite AoOs, iirc.

Snek is best reptile.
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62357
62360
>>62355
>Happy 'thp thp'-ing intensifies
>"Ha, already a better shot than the wizard."
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62358
62359
>>62356
Not infinite, it depends on the dex modifier. A 20 would be required to get a cleave just so you know, for those who haven't gone or have combat reflexes
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62359
>>62358
'k
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62360
>>62357
Because shits and giggles, let's say Torc was scrying Shek:
1) out of worry
2) to distract himself from Thez's flying
3) their dialogue is fun
"HOW?"
>"Read it and weap. One hit, one kill. No luck, pure skill."
"Bullshit, that was all luck"
>"Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."
Tzjcc
?
No.62361
62362
[1d20 = 20]
Stix fires an arrow at the freaks before him
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62362
>>62361
>headshot
Another black goes skidding to the ground
mMD0+
?
No.62363
[3d20 = 29]
Meanwhile, Infernius is being jumped down upon from above. Roll is a non-combative grapple, with a +2 bonus cuz from above.
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62364
62367
Can Tracy attach again now?
mMD0+
?
No.62365
62366
Oekaki.png
[1d8+2 = 4]
>>62346
An additional black has an arrow sticking from its chest
Trump did get the additional attack, I just misspoke when I called it a cleave. He still has 2 attacks and Fae has 1. When doing so, are they attacking the same targets as before, or different ones?

ed/oZ
?
No.62366
62370
[1d20 = 16]
[2d20 = 13]
>>62365
Rolling for the last round, two attacks Trump and one Fae. Unless this is a new round
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62367
>>62364

XUORR
?
No.62368
62369
[4d20 = 58]
Tracy lashes out at the next nearest black
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62369
>>62368
"Bucking shambling porch monkeys, I didn't come here to re-kill corpses all night. How do we get past these things?" Tracy hisses, as she pierces through another black
"Is that bull even still in one piece?"
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62370
62373 62374
>>62366
Hit for Fae, one for Trump. At the same time Tracy flails at the first and then the second black, getting a cleave attempt to kill the second one.
As the advancing black line closes more than half of them show damage, however behind them is a line of 2/row, then three/row after that and so on; each level of separation showing more volume per half-circumference ring. Those outside the door are about to get mobbed, and those inside the door have a moment to decide what to do. Stix and Snek get ranged attacks.

69J36
?
No.62372
[2d8+2 = 10]
[1d20+11 = 25]
>"GET PHYSICALLY REMOVED!"
Tzjcc
?
No.62373
62375
[1d20 = 16]
>>62370
Stix takes another shot at the closest one
“We seem to be overwhelmed! What’s the plan?”
XUORR
?
No.62374
[1d20 = 17]
>>62370
Cleav'n
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62375
>>62373
"I got this. Just you wait"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62377
62378
It's getting late...
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62378
62379
>>62377
Would pet, but she's too far away
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62379
>>62378
Keep one hand free to turn.
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62381
62382
Will y'all be available to play tonight?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62382
62383
>>62381
I'll be available to resume in less than 4 hours, and having gotten 13 hours of sleep I should be far more present and effective
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62383
>>62382
Great. Hope to have a fun session.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62384
62385 62386 62392 62393 62418 62452
We left off yesterday with the advance party being swarmed from three sides by blacks, the lot of them slamming into Trump, Stix, and Fae, others leaping over and colliding with Tracy. From Lenos', Snek's, and Tracy's perspective, the three of them were partially enveloped by a mass of countless blacks hissing and screaming abominably. Running at a frenzied pace they quickly filled in behind one another and reached and climbed on top of and over one another.
I could roll it out, but it involves about 16 slam attack rolls and 16 grapple checks just for the advancing line. Besides, that's not what happens.
As the advancing wave of blacks surrounds and gets just within arm's reach a sense-numbing crack cuts through the scene, and from the party's perspective, everything goes black.
Thez, coming to just beyond Infernius' empathic link, braces for one final jump before releasing the etherealness she has on herself and Torcuil. Phasing through the roof of the oversized warehouse of gore, two things immediately alert her attention. The first is that even though hearing is generally muted by the constant wind in the ethereal plane, she was certain she heard a sort of "bang" sound, and that her load had just gotten lighter. The second thing she noted, specifically the one that distracted her from engaging airwalk some 25 feet above the top of a large mound of bodies on which scrambled 3-4 blacks searching vigorously for something, was that she couldn't detect Infernius anymore. And so she went tumbling into a pile of corpses surrounded by walking corpses in a warehouse full of corpses.

Meanwhile,... or perhaps I should say later on,...
Trump, Fae, Tracy, Torcuil, Stix, Snek, Infernius, and Lenos collectively appear with a <CRACK> in an place that they were not just moments ago. It is a desolate windswept place, the skies darkened and wasted desert all around. The only visible thing nearby is a large series of painted signs and bulletin boards. The whole of it seems vaguely reminiscent of the MLP season 5 finale where Twilight shows Glimmer the future.
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62385
62387
>>62384
>"Oh hey, it's my idiot. Where are we you magic loving fuck."
"I could say the same to you. As for where we are... I haven't a clue."
Snek slithers over to Torc keeping his Luger at the ready, as Torc readys his staff of power.

Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62386
62396
>>62384
... Were they too big for Brad to turn, even with like +10 charisma?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62387
62388 62389 62394
>>62385
The whole place is buffered by a wind, less severe but as constant as that of the Ethereal plane, but no one seems to be around. Next to the signs is a large path, its self only slightly less desolate than the ground on either side. A non-penalty inducing chill runs through everyone, as the wind quickly saps excess heat.
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62388
>>62387
"... What the fuck is it this time?!" Tracy curses, looking around in confusion
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62389
62390 62391 62396
>>62387
Tracy goes up to the signs.
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62390
>>62389
and inspects them
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62391
>>62389
Torc and Snek follow suit
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62392
>>62384
Well
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62393
>>62384
>she heard a sort of "bang" sound, and that her load had just gotten lighter
RIP Torc...
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62394
62395
>>62387
>A non-penalty inducing chill runs through everyone, as the wind quickly saps excess heat.
Trumpaladin is now grateful to wear two suits and a cloak
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62395
>>62394
*poofs out fluff*
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62396
62397 62398 62402 62403 62405
>>62386
Not too big, too many. Brad's maximum HD damage roll is 36. Plus, he would have had to do that last round.
>>62389
Its a map of sorts, but none of the locations on it are familiar, aside from some consistent geographical aspects. Sparintenar, Cardishore, Krenshal, and most notably Port Barry are nowhere to be seen. What is listed is a number of different colored fires, slave detainment facilities, some strange Grove called Bohemian, and a strange place called Dubai. Toward the bottom there are a series of wanted posters, several of which bear curious likenesses.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62397
62400 62401
>>62396
I thought he had only just gotten an attack of opportunity as they came within 60 feet? I was going to do it first chance