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nuts5.jpg
Fuggin Nuts
Anonymous
9PmiK
?
No.61616
61617 61618 61619 61620 61657 61830
That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.

This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.

Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?

Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.

Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.

Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1319 replies and 70 files omitted.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62915
62917
Okay first off, I'm going to use that first set of dice rolls as Trump's 'taking initiative' series of strikes.
mMD0+
?
No.62916
62918 62920
[1d100 = 44]
[1d20 = 20]
Fae and Stix need to roll initiative, and Trump lands two strikes before
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62917
62919
1048874__safe_artist-colon-accu_oc_oc-colon-aryanne_oc only_earth pony_eyebrows down_female_floppy ears_frown_pony_show accurate_simple background_solo.png
>>62915
Uh.... Let's go with the one where he waited until the third attack before rolling a 1
ed/oZ
?
No.62918
[1d20+6 = 13]
>>62916
Fae. I think she gets +4 initiative at least
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62919
>>62917
That's exactly what I meant
Unfortunately, while he hit with his first two strikes, that fumble results in Trump loosing his footing - and Vandereim - who spins about 10 feet away.
"Oh fug, I'm gonna be sick," the sword says as it clangs to the ground.
Tzjcc
?
No.62920
[1d20 = 19]
>>62916
Initiative for Stix
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62921
Alright. Order is:
Trump
Gaylord
Stix
Fae
mMD0+
?
No.62922
[1d20 = 11]
Gaylord performs a ranged touch attack against Trump, casting a black ray of crackling negative energy.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62923
62924
Upon being struck by the beam - which does hit (no saving throw) - Trump feels noticeably weaker.
Tzjcc
?
No.62924
62926
[1d20 = 19]
>>62923
Stix shoots the fag spirit
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62925
ovn77.jpg
>>62913

Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62926
62927
>>62924
His shot lands squarely in the creature's chest. However, it doesn't seem the least bit affected by it (damage reduction). It does seem angrier however
ed/oZ
?
No.62927
62928 62929
[3d20 = 16]
>>62926
Fae charges the creature, pouncing him, and ripping at him with Fang and claw
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62928
>>62927
>Another Nat1
Alright, who has the saltwater?
mMD0+
?
No.62929
62932
[1d100 = 58]
>>62927
Fae gouges a chunk out of it with her teeth, and scores with one of her claws
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62930
... however she looses her footing and loses her initiative on the next round (initiative is temporarily 1)
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62931
Its now Trump's turn. He's prone, and Vandereim is 10 feet away, and he feels weaker than he did.
ed/oZ
?
No.62932
62933
[4d20 = 37]
>>62929
Trumpaladin quickdraws Sugoito, and full round attacks with slashes
"You must die NOW
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62933
>>62932
Uhm
>prone
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62934
62935
Trump can quick-draw Sugoito, and he can get up, but that's it for the round.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62935
62936
>>62934
Can he cast "remove nagative levels" on self and get up?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62936
62937
>>62935
Nope, standing takes a standard action, and spells can't be cast while prone
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62937
>>62936
Trumpaladin lets out a mighty "REEEEEEEEEEEEE" and stands up with sword drawn and aimed at Blasphemer
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62938
62939
As Trump gets to his feet the creature hisses at him and drinks a potion, becoming immediately gaseous and insubstantial, but still visible and present.
Tzjcc
?
No.62939
62940 62941
[1d20-4 = 1]
>>62938
Stix uses Many Shot to shoot 2 arrows at this thing
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62940
>>62939
Uh, I think you fucked up
mMD0+
?
No.62941
62945
[1d20 = 5]
>>62939
In case of manyshot, you would want to roll a 2d20, but since you already rolled one I'll do the other. Obviously, the first shot missed.
69J36
?
No.62942
[10d20 = 88]
Okay that's it, dice test
mMD0+
?
No.62943
[20d20 = 212]

Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62944
Both of Stix' shots miss. Oh wait, the creature is gaseous. They would have missed anyway.
ed/oZ
?
No.62945
62946 62947
[3d20 = 21]
>>62941
Fae keeps up the pressure, biting the air and clawing at it
69J36
?
No.62946
[1d20 = 10]
>>62945
>1
Well, this is shit
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62947
>>62945
Fae's biting and clawing passes harmlessly through the creature
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62948
62949
Trump's turn. The creature is gaseous and insubstantial, but still appears before him in its altered state, amused that such a simple effect seems to have completely neutered their ability to harm it.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62949
62951
>>62948
Trumpaladin moves back and picks up Vanderiem
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62950
62952
"Pony, reach into Fae's bag, and get out the orange Gatoraid"
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62951
>>62949
As Trump retrieves his sword, the creature flies 10 feet up, laughing inaudibly.
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62952
>>62950
“Ok.”
Stix goes to Fae and gets the Gatorade from the bag
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62953
Stix now possesses a flask of gatorade (holy water).
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62954
62955
Fae's turn,... though I'm not sure what effect she could have at the moment
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62955
>>62954
Fae falls back 10 feet to be next to Trumpaladin
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62956
With a Quick Action, Trumpaladin quick-mounts Fae, taking a 10 on a riding check, and holds his action/readies a full round attack for when the Blasphemer is in range
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62957
62958
Gaylord, feeling quite self-satisfied and realizing that he doesn't need to kill Trump and co., that it is far better off simply alerting its allies to their presence, begins to fly away in retreat.

It would say something to this degree, but it can't speak in gaseous form.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62958
62959
>>62957
How fast?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62959
62961
>>62958
In gaseous form, it moves at 10'/round. As far as movement speed, it is incapable of escaping, but It can keep the gaseous form for,... a while
Tzjcc
?
No.62961
62962
[1d20 = 12]
>>62959
Stix throws holy Gatorade at the spirit
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62962
62963
>>62961
The flask passes harmlessly though it, because Stix neglected to open the flask.

I'm kidding

As the liquid strikes the creature, several affects occur. For one, the holy gatorade dispells the continuing effects of the gaseous form. In addition to that, the Gatorade burns the creature's skin like acid. It shrieks in sinister agony, as it falls to the ground.
ed/oZ
?
No.62963
62966
[5d20 = 68]
[3d20 = 38]
>>62962
Now release the held attack

Fae: Pounce and rip at it with Tooth and Claw
Bite Claw claw

Trumpaladin:"I shall smite thee with my mighty sword!"
Slashes. Smite evil on the first two and Feather fall, because why not?
Smite smite slash slash slah
mMD0+
?
No.62964
[1d100 = 76]
The creature is now proned, and,... ouch,... I don't think it made it after that
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62965
62982
*hugs birdies*