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nuts5.jpg
Fuggin Nuts
Anonymous
9PmiK
?
No.61616
61617 61618 61619 61620 61657 61830
That Bitch stares at Trump thoughtfully and appraisingly. At several moments she begins to speak, but then stops. Trump isn't sure if she's having difficulty formulating the words/response, or is unsure how to respond at all. At last, she appears to make some sort of mental connection, and her face brightens. She punches in her ID for a few moments, and turns back to Trump.
"You can have both," she says. "At first I was having trouble recalling this collection of knives, but then I remembered the meme that was shared," she says, holding up her ID to show them.

This thread continues the continuing RP thread that has been continuing - essentially every weekend (and much throughout the week) - and now continues. Playersfaggots are welcome to join, and shitposting/bantz - within reason - is open to faggots and spectators. It's D&D 3.5e+ rules (+ = whatever else we throw in), and since there's so many previous threads with far more effective OP descriptions I'll just get back to it.

Looking at the ID, Trump and Tracy can see a still image of a uniformed individual holding Tracy's Efficient Quiver, with a perplexed look on his face, facing the camera man. Pushing the screen, the image plays and displays the man slowly turning the quiver over and a broom closet full of assorted knives, daggers, kunai, and other assorted blades falls out onto the ground, along with a few pieces of ridiculously elaborate jewelry. As the last of the knives falls out on the floor in a pile about 8' around at the base and 3-1/2' tall, the uniformed man looks back at the camera and says, "What the fuck," before the video stops.
Did I mention that Trump is disguised as an Orangutan (a fashionable one named Clyde), and Tracy as a monster truck?

Meanwhile, Torcuil has been on an enjoyable impromptu date with Death, and has had a delightful time of it all. She's much less intimidating in a hoodie and sweat pants,... and without the skull-face (which is really just a mask that goes with the cloak) she's a pretty down to earth chick,... who goes around and collects the souls of the dead vocationally. They walk together through town after a lovely meal, returning to Trump Tower.

Stix and Snek are likewise returning to the Tower, having located Stix' prized dagger from the previous encounter/scrimmage with Thez.

Elsewhere, an adorable filly adds more sticks to her bundle. A statue of Alex Jones sits in the tower, looking very sad. A Yak is busy putting the Gestapo and the Generals through some martial training drills. Thez however,....
1319 replies and 68 files omitted.
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62037
62038 62040
>>62033
“Undead? That’s a new one to me. What are they like? Fast, slow, anything I should know going in?”
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62038
62039 62040
>>62037
"They're boring." Tracy groans
"They don't feel fear or pain or suffering. Just walking bags of stinking filth."
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62039
62040 62041 62045
>>62038
“Better boring than dangerous... then we can get out of here and do something exciting.”
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62040
62042 62046
>>62037
Fae seems a bit calmer now, more refined in response to this question than before
"The undead come in all forms. I've killed flying small ones, human zombies, mummies, strangely shapen ones. They are a diverse set. Always terrible tasting. You should expect both fast and slow. Be sure to have a magic weapon when facing one. And be sure you have the fortitude to withstand the curses they may place on you. The Wizard - you may remember him from on the deck - he got mummies rot and did not take it well. Of course, he has a soft neck to him, so I cannot say I am surprised"

>>62038
*Glares*

>>62039
Fae loses her composure now
"How about a Football game!"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62041
62043 62046
>>62039
"They're still dangerous. They're immune to most of the tricks that would otherwise kill most of the living. A lot of them have ability drain on contact, and they carry all kinds of diseases."
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62042
>>62040
>glares
undead r gay
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62043
62044
>>62041
>carry all kinds of diseases
"A bit like someone else I know"
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62044
>>62043
If she carried diseases, I'd already have weaponized them.
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62045
1nuo5b.jpg
>>62039
>wants excitement
>pic unrelated
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62046
62047 62048
>>62040
“Well... I have no magical weapon. And I don’t suppose I know how to treat a curse.”
>football game
“Sounds like an excellent idea for when this mission is complete.”

>>62041
“Not sure what an ability drain is, but disease I know I want no part of. Think this bow I have can help slow them down?”
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62047
>>62046
the double-ended sword is magical. It's a banesword for animals and magical beasts.
>bow
"Better than nothing. Stay back and be ready to fire.'
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62048
62053
1282250__safe_artist-colon-pencils_pinkie pie_princess celestia_oc_oc-colon-fannie noveau_oc-colon-padlock_oc-colon-redstone_building_choker_church_cle (3).png
>>62046
"Do not worry about a weapon."

Fae turns around and towards Trumpaladin, and touches him with a paw.

Trumpaladin now speaks to Stix. "So you made it here. I'm surprised to see you. Fae says you need a weapon"
Trumpaladin takes a moment and pulls a bow from his back
"This was handed to me from Thez before we went to rescue Infenius in the Court City. It has a history to itself, a sad one. But that is a story for another day. It is magical, and the arrows it fires will help you against your enemies. More so than any mundane bow"

*hands Bob's bow, a +2 shortbow, to Stix*

"So she tells me you are interested in a Football game?"
There must have been telepathy or something, because you didn't hear Fae say anything to him
Anonymous
aMl60
?
No.62049
62050
>>62029
Unfreeze tonight or no?
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62050
62051
>>62049
Oh no, I have WAY too many numbers to crunch and values to determine
But I am enjoying the bantz,... almost like waiting on an elevator.
Anonymous
aMl60
?
No.62051
62054
>>62050
Cool, tomorrow?
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62052
62058
>"Do I get to fight?"
"No, I was planning on not using you"
>"Cool, gives me time to catch up on my sleep"
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62053
62054 62055
>>62048
“Wow! Thank you. I hope to repay your kindness sometime. And of course I’m interested... I hardly know it, so I want to learn about it.”
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62054
>>62051
If I roll a 20
>>62053
It has a single arrow to go with, a matte-black shafted arrow with gold fletching and a boxing glove for an arrow-head.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62055
62056
>>62053
"I am not done yet, little pony. Hold your forelegs up"

Trumpaladin reaches for the bag on Fae's back and pulls an object from it
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62056
62057
>>62055
Stix sits down and holds up his forelegs
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62057
62059 62070
>>62056
Fuck that's cute
Trumpaladin takes two objects and clicks them on to Stix's forelegs
"Bracers of Armor. They emit a magical force that helps you deflect attacks somewhat. I had this set constructed for me before we went to rescue Infernius from the Court City. I got a better set when we re-killed Ruth Bader Ginsburg, so this has been extra for me. As for the Bow, it's the sad story of an elf named Bob whose entire village was massacred before being found in a castle in the abyss by Thez.... I can't remember most of the details, ask her."
Anonymous
69J36
?
No.62058
>>62052
"I hope you practiced with the gun I gave you"
>"I did, and I got pretty good. You where a great inspiration"
"Awwwwwwwwwwww, that's touching Mr. Sn-"
>"Yeah, sketches of your face make a great target"
"..."
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62059
62060
>>62057
“The more I hear about your adventures, the less I feel adequate. I will definitely ask about all of your tales, but for now, thank you. I have no idea how I’m going to pay all of this back.”
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62060
62062
>>62059
Trumpaladin smiles, and pats Stix
"Don't be silly. You have nothing to pay back, just come to a Football game this Sunday and watch the Generals play the Spartans. Fae will be officiating"
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62061
Not sure if cloak should go to Fae to Stix... I guess the other one went to Torcuil
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62062
62063
>>62060
“Which team do we root for?”
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62063
62064
1521790090696.gif
>>62062
"In politics and diplomacy you root for both, as they are both from great cities, and are stocked with great and noble men. But when the first pass is thrown, you always, always root for the Home team. That'd be the Port Barry Generals. I trained them both of course."
Trumpaladin smiles
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62064
62066
>>62063
“Always root for home team. Got it. How many games have your team won?”
Anonymous
mMD0+
?
No.62065
62094
>Thez is glad Torcuil doesn't talk much
"No offense,"
>loving the dialogue, you guys r the best, just expressing her character in context
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62066
62067
>>62064
"We haven't had foreign teams to play, so until now we've always had the team split into two, bring in the reserves, and played those against each others. Thanks to Baz's exchange program, we now have a team in Sparintenar. I'm hoping to set up a stadium there as well. Now if you asked me about the team I played for in college...."

Trumpaladin goes silent for a moment
"This was supposed to just be a quick stop on the way to Gatesil. I wanted to expand Football to that domain, and see about some meaningful opposition to Kefka and his Court"
Anonymous
Tzjcc
?
No.62067
62068
>>62066
“Kefka? I don’t recall that name.”
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62068
62091
>>62067
"It's a name you best learn and remember. Emperor Kefka is an archmage who has reached an incredible degree of magical power. He thinks that meaning can only be found in destruction, and that is how he governs, exacting terrible tribute and destroying wontonly. After much of Port Barry was destroyed in a demon attack the coffers were emptied in the reconstruction. the Port missed a payment and kefka himself came down. He rode atop a dragon type lizard - the Tarasque. We had to fight him in the Stadium. We sliced at him and shot him, and it seemed he was slain by spell from the wizard when Kefka was down on his luck. His tarasque came later. We had six party members when that happened, plus Thez and Trollestia and Fae, and never since have we been at that level of strength. But he came back, easily, which only discovered recently. So did his Tarasque. He was messing with us"
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62069
The goldfish/orangutan cosplay is still in full effect for the next hour in game btw.
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62070
62071 62072
>>62057
Is your character carrying all of the party's equipment?
Anonymous
XUORR
?
No.62071
62072
>>62070
If so, give Tracy the Wand of False Life.
She could also use the rope and the cuffs, so she can capture the enemy before they teleport away.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62072
62073
>>62070
No, I've just managed to gather enough equipment to stock a new player

>>62071
He keeps the wand of life on his horse
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62073
62074
>>62072
Does that mean she can use it?
Also, are those the +3 Bracers Tracy stole from Korak?
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62074
>>62073
Yes. I'm less sure about the bracers. She should have upgraded to the +4 bracers dropped by Nanci Pelosi, although she won't stay still long enough for a sequence. As I said in the post itself, Trumpaladin should have an extra set from the Court City mission
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62076
62077 62101
Do the AC from those bracers stack, like armor?
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62077
62078 62079 62101
>>62076
Actually, do armor and deflection stack at all? I ditched the Hydra skin when I saw the bracers provided more AC.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62078
>>62077
Do waifus stack?
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62079
>>62077
I never paid very close attention to armor rules, because my character only ever wore light barding, but I was just wondering what stacked and what didn't.
ed/oZ
?
No.62080
62081
[1d20+20 = 25]
[1d20+20 = 32]
Trumpaladin realizes there are not one, but two ponies within reach

HUGS!
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62081
62082
>>62080
You cannot grapple two targets at once.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62082
62091
>>62081
YES I CAN HUG ALL THE PONIES MOM!

*hugs*
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62083
62084 62101
Are do undead still need to make Concentration checks when casting spells under stressful circumstances?
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62084
62085 62086
>>62083
I mean, I know they use their Charisma for Concentration, but I was wondering if it was worth using caltrops or setting casters on fire, since they don't feel pain.
Anonymous
ed/oZ
?
No.62085
096e2ac0841b74299555c351773e9d68--princess-celestia-princess-luna.jpg
>>62084
Your character is being HUGGED
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62086
>>62084
Whatever, Tracy has her tanglefoot bags.
*Readies ball of disgusting goo* (still hiding behind the other PCs)
Mrs. Sentry
XUORR
?
No.62087
62101
>tfw discord doesn't work on mobile