RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.
Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....
This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1260 replies and 137 files omitted.
>>47776Trump is still with the party yes?
"Uhm,... can I ask you something?" Thez asks, attempting nonchalance, but failing cuz Trump's sense motive is absurd. She wants something.
>>47778Both canon and ITT, I'm going with "no". I allowed it for Fae cuz otherwise she's cannon fodder, but Tracy is already more than uber.
>>47779Taking a 0 level commits the character to advancing in that level upon next level advancement, which may have its own variety of consequences.
Now for the part you're all going to like (mostly).
When it comes to skill checks, there's an optional rule I've been employing liberally without saying anything.
Any time a character is making a skill check against a DC that is -20 or more of their rank, they can opt to take a 10 on their dice roll as long as they are not engaged in combat. The idea is that the task of so simple compared to their developed skill that they could do it with their eyes closed. Tying one's shoes would be a DC1 rope use check, where its so basic that the chance of failure is nil.
>>47782"Do you,... still have that robe with all the pockets? I was thinking,... if you weren't using it,... I mean if you are using it then forget I said anything. But if you're not,... I don't know,... maybe you'd consider trading for something?"
GM, can you answer that question about the Hecatoncheires?
>>47784What's the DC for tying someone else's shoes together?
>>47783I just want to know if he'll allow it. I could always make the hat now, and enchant it later
>>47785"Yes, I believe it's on Fae's bags. I placed most of Kiynen's horde in it, so hold on while I get it and remove those items"
>>47787I think it's only armor that can have Shadow.
…But if not, I'll gladly load Tracy up with magick socks, panties, garters., etc.
>>47786Depends on the circumstances. Is one hiding under their table at a noisy tavern? Is it on a barren street while the person is busy heading somewhere or other?
>HecatoncheiresWhich part?
>>47789>not dimensionalYes they are
>>47785>excited dwelf noises *carefully hides items in room's dresser drawers, placing books about Football and Income Tax over top to deter Tracy from rummaging*
>>47790>covering up a pony with pantiesHARAM
>>47791*Is now wondering what is going on*
>>47791>Which part?The part about the blood-forged weapons.
Is deity blood a special material for craft? Refer to:
>>47417 →I was wondering if Tracy could use Kefka's body parts to make a special weapon later on, because that monster description implied that it had properties that made it deadly to some monsters.
I thought it'd make a great tempering fluid for an awesome mace or sword.
>>47794Yeah, I thought about that right after I posted it.
Uh...Tracy can buy horses with some of it I guess
>>47795I'm in no hurry.
Just don't get bent out of shape if I want to take other things.
>>47793First off, they're not immune. Heca,... those things regenerate against any weapon
other than blood-forged or Good-aligned weapons. For two, those things are OP AF. I'm a little astonished that someone bothered to create them
and then make them official.
Having said, maybe but IDK. Its not something I expected to have to consider.
>>47792Several things. Currently Thez is wearing a simple monk's fighting outfit (a Gi, for the martial artists in the periphery). As a monk, she takes penalties if she wears armor or is otherwise encumbered, but an article like a robe can be utilized without penalties. For two, Thez is a knob about some things, and is planning for carrying all the material components (that she doesn't need) that she'll need as a sorcerer.
>>47797Um, okay. What's the rating on her amulet of the mighty fists, and/or does she have an extra lying around?
>>47796>If I want to take other thingsThe only reason I thought to hide it was because of the possibility that
all of it would fall in the "I take things I don't actually want just because klepto"
>>47797Since it's the blood of a Chaotic Ebil demigod, I thought it'd make for a ebin murder-mace, maybe with specific powers, if I can find the time for her to work on it.
> I'm a little astonished that someone bothered to create them and then make them official. something I expected to have to consider.Ikr. Epin-level monsters are terrifying. Some are even rank-0 deities, like Phaethons, Atropals, or Infernals: all apocalypse-tier.
>>47798The amulet is part of her belt and can't be removed, along with the amulet of non-detection. Its an heirloom item associated with mastery of her former/native Monk monastery. She doesn't have an extra, and its +5 (meaning, requiring at least a 15th level caster, and 50 days to fabricate).
>>47799Just one of those - which aren't unique creatures - could easily walk through most of the Infernal lords. Soros would get his ass handed to him for example.
>>47800It looks to me like the publications for epic-level monsters, classes and spells were mostly made for high-level campaigns that focused on insane missions, like theomachia or apocalypse-reversal, from what I've gathered. Even the existance of Abominations seems to be put in the game for "let's go kill a literal god" kind of campaigns.
>>47801Well, the challenge ratings are based off "The level that a 4-player party would theoretically need to be to vanquish". Hecs are 57th? Absurd. Thez only got where she's at because she spent an excessive amount of time soloing and not sharing xp. I can't imagine ranking
4 players to that point,
let alone past it.
>>47802It has superior multi-weapon fighting, and it has a
hundred arms. Nothing but an actual god of war, with 50 ranks in Fighter (maybe, if he's lucky) could best it in combat.
It's based off of those mythical ancient greek primordial giants who lived before the gods or even the titans: they could tear mountains in two with their strength.
>>47803It's based off of dark and elder things alright, but I don't think Greek mythology is the closest comparison
>>47803The other ebin monsters are freaky too.
An Atropal is like every abortion every woman ever had, coming back for revenge on the living. Infernals eat Balors and Pit Fiends' faces as an afternoon snack. A Phaethon is like a walking nuclear explosion.
>>47804>(1)Wait, who's speaking now?
>>47803Right. Meaning, the party would pretty much have to have divine rank of their own in order to concern themselves with it, unless it was used as a Deus Ex Machina-type, story that isn't so much vanquished as it is defeated, sealed, cast into other realms, etc. As a looming (pun intended) threat, sure but as a legit fight? I say again, absurd.
>>47808According to wiki sources, they're the oldest Abominations: born of proto-deities early in the multiverse's history. They're older than most gods, unlike most other Abominations, who are usually the offspring of gods.
>>47807Nobully; it could be Lenos, it could be Anon
griffonfilly, it could be Sad Alex, Taylor, or any number of possibilities.
>>47809Again, I'm just seeing something absurd that no reasonable party could/would ever think of actually trying to kill, and if they
are I question their creativity as players and that of the GM, as well as the authenticity and legitimacy of their campaign desu.
We were talking about God-granted quests earlier; this is a
God quest.
>>47808>party would pretty much have to have divine rank of their own in order to concern themselves with itYeah. It looks like a challenge for a team of Divine Minions, with Epic Prestige classes.
>>47810>God questDo you mean God Quest as in instant-Geas, or God Quest as in "prove yourself!" ?
>>47812Ah.
Yeah, and not just rank 1-5 demigods like Kefka; actual gods.
I'll be back tonight, if anyone is still on. Later my dudes
>>47803Im gonna need a bigger strength bonus.
>>47819>>47814I want to grapple a rank 5 deity.
>>47820Gib Tracy the corpse when you're done.
>>47820Infernius should've been Strength Domain, desu.
>blogpost intensifies
Funny story! Apparently I was supposed to work this morning, but due to a miscommunication (rather, my lack of seeking confirmation) I got my first no-call, no-show of my whole LIFE today,.... Also I'm back for the duration (weekend).
>>47822Ill give you what i cant eat.
>>47828Red pill your boss.
>>47830I'm working on it, but this is an ultra-rural community that doesn't take kindly to anyone who isn't a 3rd+ generation of the "hooplah" family.
>>47833Oh, don't even get me started, its part of my diabolical 1488 scheme. Major cities are largely lost. Its largely (only?) by fomenting the awareness
and viability (economically, socially, etc.) of smaller communities that the white race has any chance at all desu. These are communities that
its not too late to redpill on muslims (not exclusively) and who havve EVERY incentive to avoid and act against further decay of the US.
Will we be playing tonight?
Tracy feeds her birds again.
>>47838They're getting kinda big. They're about 12' sitting down, (cuz there's not much mass to the legs) and they're beginning to show coloration. One (I forget the name at the moment and I'll lose focus if I look it up, but its within the theme) is beginning to show an almost fluorescence, trending toward violet or blue.
>>47839"Who's a pretty ~birdie?"
*gently pets fluff*
They were named Sammy and Bunny.
They show the dopiest enthusiasm before Tracy even enters the room. They can't smell or "specifically" detect that its Tracy, but there's a consistency to her presentation. Preceeding Tracy's arrival would be a series of incredibly minute details that would otherwise go unnoticed to a conscious biped (read: hooman) but which animals take to readily. This is why I contest the intelligence scale wrt animals, but I digress. I do admit that there is a significant possibility that atypical stats, behavior, intelligence, etc. that is observable IRL animals might not exclusive to "player" interaction. Simply, I've always observed highly intelligent dogs, cats, etc. Having said, I have always (almost) observed them amongst exceptional individuals.
>>47841So each of those birds which Tracy got for free are not only able to almost equal Fae in one on one combat, but they're magic beasts as well?
>>47843Dont even starr bro. Some of us Dont have any animal companions
And you got fae for free.
>>47841Tracy dumps out out her bag of ground elephant meat a lightly-cooked egg yolks and watches happily as they eat, with a slight blush about her cheeks.
>>47843>magicalNo. Rocs are animals. You're thinking of Giant Eagles.
GM just thinks animals are smarter than the game-makers give them credit for, and is building character in their subtle responses.
>>47844Go talk to your doggo.
>>47844A Paladin's mount is an essential feature of the class, and a Dragonne is a CR 7 with 19 strength, whereas a Roc is a CR 9 with 34 strength and is two size categories larger with corresponding increases in damage
>>47845I probably cant. The juice are blocking hitler.
>>47843Not hardly. They're dopey, clumsy, and awkward. They're a liability in combat. But they are cute, if not ginormous.
>>47842Desu, my mate is not aryan. She
is of royal, "pacific" ancestry though. Xp
>>47845>doggoThis. If I wanted to be authentic, he'd have pissed and shit on everything cuz "is he even let outside?". Mental note, have Bones check on him 3x a day, just in case.
What Infernius now has is a tiny dog that 'almost' pees its self whenever he shows up, but doesn't know how to calm down.
>>47845>Go talk to your DoggoThis. Alejandro Menendez-Alvaro needs attention
>>47846The standard mount for a paladin is a heavy warhorse: you got an upgrade. She even speaks common and as class levels.
>>47847Try Commune With Nature.
Then see if he's worth Awakening.
>>47850Don't give animals names they can't remember. His name is Sparkle.
>>47851I dont think you understand the kikes are blocking hitlers powers i dont even know how i can still use healing magic.
>>47853>kikes are blocking hitlers powersSince when? You were able to break Thez's petrification.
>>47853>>47854They're not blocking his power, they're blocking his communication.
>>47851True, but she's still only CR10ish after features, not a match for two CR 9s
>names they can't rememberOh please. Alejandro Menendez-Alvaro is easily remembered
>>47855Why wouldn't they block his powers too?
>>47859Because I had dubs for one. For two, because Hitler is too awesome and undeniable. His blessings cannot be blocked by kikes, even if his words might be suppressed.
>>47860This started back when I was first called to speak for the Fuhrer and balked cuz mein deutsch ist schrect and cuz I don't feel I could accurately portray him as a god.
>>47859>>47856>>47853>>47847Just go have hot shower sex with your waifu like your God commanded you two then feed your dog some tacos
>>47861Great.
>>47849Id take a Celtic girl desu, when you say Pacific do you mean asian or islander?
>>47839What does the other one look like?
>>47863We both know what he meant m8.
Can we get some info out of Kang Doot now?
>>47863>>47864I'm not Hitler in this case, but some showers 'glitter'. Just a random interpretive thought.
>>47864Islands ftw>>47865Slightly pink desu
>>47866Stop with the cocky attitude to hermeneutics and go now!
\r
>>47868Very tropical. Like the birds of Eden.
>>47870They are going to end up deep blue and red-pink when they get older.
It'll be beautiful
>>47870Not intentionally, but metaphysically so distantly related.
>>47872Fug
>>47873I'm not opposed to tropical Rocs. It fits their theme.
>>47872Unfortunately he's not on at all at the moment. He was on earlier today though
>>47874Wrong. Just, wrong. Rocs are cold weather animals and anything else just ain't right
>>47877>Rocs are cold weather animalsDid you read the Legend Of Sinbad? They would've lived around the Indian Ocean.
>>47878But they lived in high up mountains, which would be cold
>>47877I know you are trying to do damage control and all but could you stop being disengenous and say they truth?
I mean i already know that hitler wants infernuis baby dead.
>>47879Then I guess it's just magick then.
>>47881Nah, it's because the plumage if the younger animals is lighter than that of mature adults
>>47880Oh hush. He only commanded her to take a shower? Has she even showered once thus far? Hell, I should probably take a shower