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nut.jpg
Proper Nuts
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.47678
47680 47684 47728
RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.

Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....

This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1260 replies and 148 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48406
48408
>>48404
Tracy was right at the door, and she's smol, so she can move through his square.
r9GHC
?
No.48407
48410
[1d100 = 69]

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48408
48411
>>48406
She's a medium sized creature
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48409
48413
1515742298953.png
>>48405
>20
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48410
>>48399
Like, as in objects or usrs, or unknown?
also, can I apply arcan knowledge and spellcraft to detect magic?
>>48407
Kinky
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48411
48412 48415
>>48408
Ponies are smol.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48412
48414
>>48411
Not in the size category sense though.

If she were, she couldn't use medium sized weapons with proficiency. So that chain and that sword could only be used with penalties

r9GHC
?
No.48413
48417
[1d100 = 74]
[2d8+5 = 14]
[2d8+5 = 9]
>>48409
First hit is a severe crit, knocking Infernius on his heels (stumble roll). Second and 4th atk miss, but 3rd atk hits also.
First roll does 3x damage.


Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48414
48416
>>48412
The same way you wield a Bastard Sword without exotic weapon proficiency.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48415
>>48411
No they're not. If dwarves are med, ponies r too.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48416
48419
>>48414
I asked about that, and besides I have an extra undedicated feat

You're not going to declare that she has small size category just now in battle when you've been using medium sized weapons for months
r9GHC
?
No.48417
48418 48426
[2d6 = 5]
>>48413
So 45 damage points to Infernius, and he accidentally hits himself for damage also (no str bonus)

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48418
48420
>>48417
Holy shit

Um... can Trumpaladin flank with boots or is this still Infernius's fight?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48419
48424 48425
>>48416
Really?
I was refering to that post in the second thread >>1322 → where Tracy tried to push trumpaladin over, but failed because >"ponies r small"
I've applied her size modifier as such ever since.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48420
48421 48426 48434
>>48418
I miscalculated. Between these two Frankies and the forced fumble, Infernius takes 56 damage.
Everyone ELSE roll initiative now.

eueZS
?
No.48421
[1d20 = 11]
[1d20 = 7]
>>48420
Rolling

And Fae as well, although she should have +6
lqkPv
?
No.48422
48423 48424
[1d20 = 1]

Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48423
>>48422
reeeeeeeee
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48424
48429
>>48419
>using an uber early-post as reference
I'm both bothered and impressed by this. Idk how I'll modify the next roll.
>>48422
Tracy is last
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48425
48429
>>48419
If she's 90 pounds like a small human female she's medium sized. I think she has to be under 60 to be small. It's just easier if she's medium
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48426
48427 48428 48430
>>48420
>>48417
REEEEEEEEEEE!
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48427
>>48426
This was in character, i forgot the quotations
r9GHC
?
No.48428
48431
[1d100 = 53]
>>48426
Hope you don't die
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48429
48433
>>48424
>bothered and impressed by this
Autism. Pay it no mind.
>>48425
Aww...
I wanted to be smol so I could do cool stealthy things and whatnot...
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48430
48432 48433 48436
>>48426
Let the Rogue check first next time.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48431
48437
>>48428
If i do ill get better.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48432
48440
>>48430
Nah
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48433
>>48429
She's still small enough to mount a fully armored Trumpaladin, although she increases his encumbrance by one category

>>48430
This
k5+kC
?
No.48434
48435
>>48420
Rolling torc and snek
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48435
>>48434
You somehow manage to go after Tracy
k5+kC
?
No.48436
48441
[2d20 = 31]
Lets try that again
>>48430
Snek hisses in agreement
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48437
48442
>>48431
Hmmm. Technically, one needs to sustain 50% health loss to system shock vs. death, and Infernius had a max of 133 before recent level. No system shock, he's just hurting but not in danger of kill.

Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48438
48441
Snek goes first
r9GHC
?
No.48439
[1d20 = 7]

Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48440
stealth-funny-motivational-poster.jpg
>>48432
Watch your back next time.
k5+kC
?
No.48441
48443
[1d20+3 = 8]
>>48436
Aw yes
>>48438
Snek shoots at the closest frankstien. What else do I apply other than dex? Whats the range?
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48442
48445
>>48437
Inis will live!
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48443
>>48441
Range is immediate

Order:
Snek
Infernius
Fae
Trump/Frankies
Thez
Torc
Tracy
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48444
48446 48448
BTW, if not explicit, these are Golems, not undead.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48445
48446 48449
>>48442
>immediate
Is that more or less than 30 ft?
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48446
48455
>>48445
What the fuck do you think?

>>48444
Cool
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48447
48450 48457
>as the party engages the Frankensteins, shuffling noises can be heard from further down the hallway, including a disconcerting sound hibbity hooblah.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48448
48449 48451
>>48444
Yeah, I guessed pretty early on, but didn't say anything because metafaggotry.
It's gay when players just look them up.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48449
48454 48455
>>48445
Point blank
>>48448
TY, I prefer for players to be balls-deep before knowing what they're tangling with

lqkPv
?
No.48450
48452
[1d20+24 = 41]
>>48447
Listen check
How many?
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48451
48453 48454 48455
>>48448
You say that every damned encounter "oh I knew it!"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48452
>>48450
3 aside from those apparent.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48453
48456
>>48451
Well, I do have a nasty tendency to foreshadow and hint
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48454
>>48449
I prefer to just fight blindly, because there's no way fr my character to know what kind of monster, so why should I?
>>48451
I read the whole monster catalog twice, because I'm a massive autist and love monsters.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48455
48458
>>48449
Ah, so another +1 not that it helps
>>48446
ASS
>>48451
HOLE
lqkPv
?
No.48456
48458
[1d20+24 = 37]
>>48453
Is she in a position in which she can hide?
Rolling to Hide in previous room.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48457
48459
>>48447
"Guys we have orks niggers coming."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48458
>>48455
Oh fuck off.

>>48456
We're in the middle of an encounter with initiative already rolled. Wait for Infernius to make his turn
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48459
48460
>>48457
Shhh, you're coughing up blood atm.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48460
48463
>>48459
My lungs are fine
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48461
48462
Its Infernius' turn against the golems. One is damaged, the other is not.

Umbas
?
No.48462
48464
[3d20 = 44]
>>48461
Attack the one that crit me.
r9GHC
?
No.48463
[1d100 = 30]
>>48460
Are they? Rolling

r9GHC
?
No.48464
[6d6+15 = 31]
>>48462
>same one that was damaged earlier
I'm still waiting on Infernius' combined damage modifiers, but all 3 hit, and I'll be most surprised if they didn't kill.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48465
48466 48468
https://youtu.be/H0xiOWZmYlo
The one frankie falls to the ground, chopped mightily by Infernius
eueZS
?
No.48466
48469 48471
[3d20 = 43]
>>48465
Fae, full round attack on second golem

Modifiers are 20 or 22 on first attack and 18 or 20 on the second two attacks
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48467
48469 48473
Fae, then Trump/golems, then Thez, Torc, and lastly Tracy
>shuffling sound intensifies
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48468
48470
>>48465
Lets out a mighty cough.

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48469
48476
>>48467
Um... rolled for Fae in >>48466

Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48470
48472 48473 48475
>>48468
No hernias detected

lqkPv
?
No.48471
48472 48483
[1d20 = 19]
>>48466
If that lands, Tracy get's an AoO
Tracy makes a Trip attack on the golem with a keened dagger.
eueZS
?
No.48472
48474
[4d20 = 44]
>>48470
Rolling for Trumpaladin's full round attack

>>48471
>Trip attack on a large machine with a dagger
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48473
>>48470
Kek
>>48467
Torc casts "Hold Monster" from the staff of power
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48474
>>48472
The dagger is so it doesn't provoke an AoO from the golem, and it does tripple damage because keened dagger.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48475
>>48470
Güd
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48476
48477 48478 48482
>>48469

Apologies. However, it doesn't go "20-22, 18-20" modifiers. It goes "20-22, 15-17".
>MOAR number crunching
I swear, you guys don't even know how many otherwise supercilious rolls I have to make, just to be sure what happens. I know, I keep some of it off-board so >confusing but,... nevermind. Also, you don't know how many times I start responding to a post cuz its edgy or wtfe, but then scroll up and fine "Oh yeah, that later part is impossible and couldn't have happened. In the bin,...."

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48477
48481
>>48476
With the Multiattack feat it does
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48478
48479
>>48476
How is her base attack bonus +20?
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48479
48480
>>48478
Not base attack, combined attack bonus
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48480
48481
>>48479
Combining what?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48481
48483 48484
Fae, is increasingly fine form, just rips apart the 2nd Frankie btw. Its not "down" per say, but its been thoroughly "ground" on the front-surface.
>>48477
Retracted, you are correct. Simplicity's sake, we'll put her attacks at +22, +19, and +16 for that particular exchange, which was in fact murderous.
>>48480
Base attack, weapon/item augments, str bonus, etc - circumstantial
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48482
>>48476
+12/+7/+2
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48483
>>48471
>>48481

eueZS
?
No.48484
[4d20 = 42]
>>48481
Well, Trump will attack at the same time it attacks I guess
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48485
Just 2 more levels...
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48486
48487 48488 48489 48492 48634
So Trump, with his rolls, is quick and able to drop the second Frankenstein - Flesh Golem. But the falling of the second is not all to be heard. Just around the corner is a really creepy "wurbuling" sound, while further down the hall is the dragging of limbs.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48487
>>48486
Did Tracy's Opportunist attack hit it?
lqkPv
?
No.48488
[1d20+20 = 34]
[1d20+20 = 26]
>>48486
Spot and Listen checks to identify whateverthefuck is coming.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48489
>>48486
Alright, which hall, exactly? The hall the frankenstiens came from, or the other hall? Which hall are the hibbity hooblah's coming from?
r9GHC
?
No.48490
48491 48493
[16d20 = 124]
Thez' turn.
<whoooof>
Just around the corner: "God dammit,...."
T> Flurry of Blows, broom

Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48491
>>48490
Nice first crit.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48492
>>48486
"Oh fuck, more?"
Torc readies his shield and staff again while joining up with Mr. Snek.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48493
>>48490
"Is it jews?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48494
48496 48634
001.png
Okay, well that didn't last long. Thez quickly reduces her otherwise pile of oozing flesh into a less active pile of oozing flesh. There are still sounds coming from further down the hall, but there are no immediate threats.
lqkPv
?
No.48496
48497
[1d20+24 = 29]
>>48494
Search check to investigate the room the golems came out of.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48497
48498
>>48496
They didn't "come out of", they appear to have been stationed here. Btw, its not your turn.
>>48495
Nor yours either.
Torcuil has current move
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48498
48499
>>48497
Torc slowly walks out into the hall
"Thez, is it safe?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48499
48504
>>48498
A repeated squishing sound can be heard as Thez continues to beat a pile of goo about the 'face'. "Chaos <breath> Monster," she says with a demented look. The room is otherwise clear, as per map.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48500
48501
Tracy's move.
lqkPv
?
No.48501
48502
[1d20+24 = 42]
>>48500
Search the Room the golems were in

Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48502
48503
>>48501
Golems were in the hallway, adjacent to the door. Care to revise?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48503
48505 48731
>>48502
Chamber closest to where they were stationed.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48504
48515
>>48499
"Thez you *cough cough cough* okay?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48505
48507
>>48503
Red dots is where golems were. Nearest room has Thez in the corner, and sounds from down the hall. Thez is "sufficiently" wupping an ass, "Cuz you never know with these,... things!"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48506
48508
001a.png