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nut.jpg
Proper Nuts
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.47678
47680 47684 47728
RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.

Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....

This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1260 replies and 142 files omitted.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.47990
47991
>>47988
"I need a new cannon for my ship. That way if anything too big comes out, we shoot it."
>>47989
Night faggot
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.47991
47992
>>47989
*contemplates how it would look if waifu is visibly pregnant in wedding photos*

"That is a good point"

>>47990
"You have 13 functioning ones though, besides our collective power and all. Can't it wait?"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.47992
47994 47997
>>47991
"They must be intwined or something, cause if I turn the lever while one's broken they all suffer the same fate. And who knows what that would do to the ship."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.47994
47996
>>47992
"You can't just remove the one from the sequence and bypass it, allowing the other 13 to function?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.47995
47996 47997
>>47986
"It will be yuge."
>>47987
"You want me to go?"
>>47989
Night.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.47996
47998
>>47994
Torc shakes his head
"Not as far as I'm aware, gnomish shit is hard. I don't understand why it's such a big deal. I have... acquaitances that should be able to get the plans to a smith. I'll I'd have to do is bring a sketch of the cannon and drop it off."
>>47995
"If you'd like."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.47997
47998
_YOU_THINK_WAR_END_SOON._GO_AHEAD_TAKE_DAY_OFF.__-_NARA_-_516234.jpg
>>47995
>>47992
"I mean, it's not like we killed four lichs two days ago and all four will respawn within a few days if they haven't already. It's not like Dimensional anchor has a limited period of time it's active, and it's not like we've got a hell of a lot more rooms to clear before we get to the center of the nest. By all means, take your time. Do your shopping now. The enemy will be grateful"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.47998
47999 48000
>>47997
"You have point."
>>47996
"Can we wait untill after invasion? Or is it urgent?"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.47999
>>47998
"I guess it could wait, but we won't be able to do any further damage to the temple. No new access points if needed."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48000
48003
>>47998
"Infernius, when this city was attacked, it was attacked by a wide number of varieties of undead with four lichs visibly leading. It was organized by someone larger, more powerful, with many underlings. Thus far in the Pyramid we have encountered Allips, varg-thingies, wraiths, and what seemed to be an independently acting mummy lord. We haven't yet encountered even the beginning of who organized this attack. But don't think for a moment their leaders are not in there.

How long do you think it will be before they realize we've penetrated their citadel - they probably already have. Do you think that maybe they are just waiting until sunset - and sun light is toxic to many undead - to lead a forary into town to terroize and kill? Do you think they may come up with the idea to set a trap for us in the pyramid? How long do you think it will be before one of them realizes that all they have to do is get a high level spell caster to cast "dispell magic" to break the dimensional anchor and teleport away from us. Unless of course, they want to be in the harbor. Time is of the essence"

Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48001
48002
1506457379639-4.jpg
"We know who is behind attack,the kikes."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48002
48004
>>48001
"We know that they are organized. And an organized enemy, is a dangerous enemy. Very dangerous"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48003
48005
if-you-let-your-enemies-have-sex-with-your-wife-2623518.png
>>48000
"They clever so they probably know we are here. They most likely set traps already."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48004
>>48002
"Me know."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48005
48006 48009
>>48003
"We must go in and kill them, before they have the chance to kill us and all of the aryan race. We must release mankind from this curse, and soon. Be strong. Be clever. And above all, act quickly. Because they will be"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48006
48007
>>48005
"Is this the part where I ask not what my country can do for me, but what can I do for my country?"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48007
48008
>>48006
"That's the spirit!

Perchance do you want to wear a cloak of resistance? It can help protect you from curses and effects many of these undead have."
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48008
48010 48011
>>48007
"Considering I don't really feel like dieing again? Sure, thanks Trump."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48009
48011
>>48005
"Protection of the entire white race is my priority. Not just tge aryans."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48010
48011 48012 48020
>>48008
"Me wish torc was still here."
eueZS
?
No.48011
48012 48014
>>48008
"here you go"

*hands a cloak of resistance to Torcuil, since there are like two that haven't been used*

>>48009
"That's the spirit!"

>>48010
"You can almost hear him at times..."
\r
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48012
>>48010
"I'm quite literally standing right next to you"
>>48011
"STOP TELLING PEOPLE I'M DEAD"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48013
48014 48015
"Oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling
From glen to glen and down the mountain side..."

*starts crying*
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48014
48015 48017
>>48011
>>48013
"Me just wish me could see him one more time."
*hugs brad*
*cries*
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48015
48016
>>48013
>>48014
"I fucking swear, I'm rig-
Nevermind, lets try this."
Torc grabs Snek, turning him into a staff and smacks Infernius with it.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48016
48017 48018
>>48015
*scratches area that got smacked*
"Me hate mosquitos."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48017
48018
>>48014
*hugs back*
"I do too...

I'm gonna miss the little wanker"

>>48016
"I do too... Tell me if you need me to cure a disease. I'd hate to lose another..."
*starts sobbing again*
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48018
48019 48020 48021
>>48017
>>48016
"I sometimes really hate you both"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48019
48023
>>48018
*hugs imagined representation of his lost comrade*

"I hate you too buddy" *sniff* "I hate you too"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48020
48022 48023
>>48018
Alright. Because Snek would be neither rigid nor would his body weight be localized during a "Snek strike", I'm thinking that it would be ineffective as a melee attack, but would allow Snek to grapple as a free action upon contact.
>>48010
"Did something happen to him?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48021
48023
>>48018
"If only torc would have used higher quality memes mayve he would still be with us."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48022
48024
>>48020
"He dead remember thez?"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48023
48027
>>48019
"You guys are fucking impossible."
>>48020
I'll accept that
"They think I'm dead"
>>48021
"YOU GUYS ARE THE ONES WHO DIDN'T NOTICE ME DYING ON THE FLOOR"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48024
48025 48026
>>48022
"Yeah, and then he was back like 2 minutes later. I mean, did he die again?"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48025
48028
>>48024
"Yes. He also died when a mummy cursed him..."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48026
48028
>>48024
"He never come back thez, he dead."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48027
>>48023
"That gust of wind just now, it sounded loke a bitch."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48028
48029 48030 48032
>>48025
"I know, I watched it happen. It was tragically comical. But then he was back alive again."
>>48026
"Is this some kind of joke?"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48029
>>48028
"To them it is, and I don't appriciate my death being called 'tragically comical'"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48030
48031 48036
>>48028
*leans in to thez*
*whispers*
"Go with it."
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48031
48033
>>48030
"I heard that you bitch"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48032
48033 48035
>>48028
"I didn't know he'd failed his saving throw...

I don't think it's comical. Him getting mauled to death by a special mount was comical, but losing him in battle..."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48033
48034
>>48032
>>48031
"Did you hear that brad? The wind had a voice on it."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48034
>>48033
"Like dust in the wind"
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48035
48040
>>48032
I can always shoot the two fuckers if they keep ignoring me.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48036
48037 48039
Thez looks at Trump and Infernius, and then at Torcuil. "I've no idea what they're on about. It was funny though. One minute you were sitting there inspecting part of the room, the next minute you were on the floor disintegrating into sand. I mean, if we didn't have an entertron I'd be devastated! But as is,...."
>>48030
"Sorry, my Bluff skill is shit."
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48037
48038 48040 48041
>>48036
>grumbling
I need sleep, so this is where I part for the night aw fuck it's morning.
See you faggots later
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48038
>>48037
Later fag.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48039
48042
>>48036
"Thez me get suit for wedding"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48040
>>48035
*growls in draconic*

>>48037
Love you, and see you later
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48041
48081
>>48037
Later. Sorry I bailed earlier
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48042
48043
>>48039
"A suit?" She thinks for a moment. "I can't say I've ever seen you wear clothes before, its hard to imagine."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48043
48044
>>48042
"Me want to look me best for you on big day."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48044
48045
>>48043
"Then why a suit? Why not rhinoplasty?"

"I'm kidding!"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48045
48046
>>48044
"Heh good one."
*rubs muzzle*
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48046
48047
>>48045
"So what kind of suit? A duck suit? A swim suit?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48047
48048
>>48046
"A nice German made suit."
"Hugo BOSS"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48048
48049
>>48047
"So a suit, or a uniform? I understand Hugo Boss designed the nazi uniforms,...."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48049
48050
>>48048
"Both. Um thez how do you feel about me still being Nazi?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48050
48051 48052
>>48049
She shrugs. "I don't really have an opinion about it. I've been reading more of Rockwell, and I highly approve of his position thus far."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48051
48053 48075
>>48050
"Um thez will you teach me to read?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48052
48053
>>48050
"Rockwell is best."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48053
48054
>>48051
>>48052
She gasps at this, covering her mouth with both hands. "You mean,... but don't you carry around Mein Kampf? You carry Hitler's word but can't,...." her eyes get watery "You really are insufferably adorable. Consider it my main "intervening period" activity," she says, hugging him tightly around the abdomen.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48054
>>48053
"Thez me glad me met you."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48055
48056
She continues to hold him, murmuring softly before saying, "Naturally."

"Thanks," she mutters softly, and not in a sarcastic or shitposting tone.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48056
48057
>>48055
"Me tired."
*picks up thez*
"You want lay down with me?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48057
48058
>>48056
Her eyebrow twitches. "Do we have to lay down tho?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48058
48059
>>48057
"We dont have to just lay down."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48059
48060
>>48058
"Heeeeeee," she intones with a hint of lewdness to her voice.
Its pretty obvious where its going from there. "One quick question. Do you like me better with scales, or without?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48060
48061
>>48059
"Me like you gray. It hot."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48061
48062
>>48060
"I was more asking about texture than pallor."
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48062
48063
>>48061
"Scales did feel nice."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48063
48064
>>48062
"Good to know," she says smiling and booping him.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48064
48065
>>48063
*boop of opportunity*
"Thez how would you feel if me turned into earth pony?"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48065
48066
>>48064
She mutters something about him being trans now.
"Just kidding. Seriously, I don't know. Wouldn't that limit the number and types of items at your disposal?"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48066
48067
>>48065
"Meh it just idea me have floating around for awhile."
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48067
48068 48076
>>48066
"You're not gonna try for Paladin Mount too are you?" she teases.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48068
48076
>>48067
"Me might."
*winks*
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48069
48070
*faggot goes to sleep*
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48070
>>48069
'Night
And they did fug.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48075
48081 48235
>>48051
Infernius is the cutest.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48076
48077 48080
>>48068
>>48067
Just fyi, Paladin is a prestige class in unearthed arcana:
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/Publication:Unearthed_Arcana/Prestige_Paladin
Not as great as the base class, but you'll get everything you want out of it. You don't get paladin spells, but it advances in the spells of your current divine spellcasting class (cleric).
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48077
>>48076
You have to have mounted combat, and a few other skill ranks though.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48080
>>48076
You get the horse at lvl 2.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48081
>>48041
M8 it's fine.
>>48075
Agreed
lqkPv
?
No.48082
48100
[1d20+24 = 38]
Well Idk what Tracy's Int modifier is with her headband, but I'll make a Search check, to gather-up those remaining shards of glass from when the temple was blown open.
Anonymous
oplLs
?
No.48083
48084 48235
image.png
image.png
>Infernius as my Paladin's mount
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48084
48085 48086
>>48083
He's going to be Thez's familiar.
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48085
48086 48102
>>48084
>tfw this party is just one big orgy of cohort haxx
Anonymous
oplLs
?
No.48086
>>48084
Reeeee! I want him!

>>48085
We have other firms of haxx as well
Anonymous
oplLs
?
No.48088
48089
image.jpeg
>>48078
I saw that!
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48089
48090
>>48088
I deleted it because I realized it wasn't as good as it seemed at first.
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48090
48091
Lich_King.jpg
>>48089
Although, looking at the canon writings, there's no restriction on falling, and then taking the prestige class and then falling again to get the falling benefits two-fold.
Anonymous
oplLs
?
No.48091
48092
>>48090
Lame
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48092
48093 48094
>>48091
Yeah, bullshit character development. I just thought the extra Sneak Attack was sexy. I don't have the patience to be LG for even one level anyway.
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48093
>>48092
On that note, you have to be able to cast protection from ebil too.
Anonymous
oplLs
?
No.48094
48095
image.png
>>48092
Just don't go out of your way to be lol ebil
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48095
Spoilered
>>48094
This is ebil game
Anonymous
lqkPv
?
No.48096
48102
Will we be ready to crawl today?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48097
48098
ac59055223b77f726fc642e901aaacb7--spartan-workout-movies-for-free.jpg