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nut.jpg
Proper Nuts
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.47678
47680 47684 47728
RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.

Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....

This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1260 replies and 141 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48204
I g2g for a while
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48205
48210
>>48202
How is one lighting it?
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48206
48207 48211
>>48196
How is this anything other than letting every single attack in all combat be a sneak attack with a free action?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48207
48208 48213
>>48206
Its only usable once/round. Best case scenario. she gets an additional sneak attack.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48208
48209
>>48207
That's an additional at least one sneak attack every single round though.

The boots of the wolf only let you flank once per encounter, and the cape presumably only lets you execute the manuever when you first draw the pistols, so about once per encounter. But this is 9d6 extra damage every single round of any encounter. 30+ additional damage every single round. For free. With no strategy, just using haxx to exploit a class feature to the etreme.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48209
48212
>>48208
Smite evil only gives 17 damage per attack, less than half sneak attack damage. And that's limited to 4 uses a day
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48210
>>48205
... shit, I didn't think of that..
How does Ponimaru light his?
>>48201
On second thought, that'd look dumb and be retarded...
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48211
48213
>>48206
With a ring of Invisibility, you could Sneak Attack as many times as you wanted.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48212
1516311183233-0.jpg
>>48209
It's great for killing fiends and undead though.
Can't Sneak Attack the undead at all...
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48213
48214
>>48207
I could ask for an additional 9d6 damage on the first attack in every single round of combat... But what would be the point? You look at an enemy and *poof* they're dead. No strategy, no clever moves. No real chance of dying, being defeated and losing. No sense of accomplishment up winning. No comparing your results to people in other campaigns. Just attack an enemy, and they're dead. Why fight enemies at all?

>>48211
Invisibility spell ends when you attack an enemy
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48214
48215
9c822fda313f2a6c62e8f1c75abdc40c.jpg
a68a11af2ffde9777f09feb35464532b.jpg
sneak-attack-eagle-bird-strike-demotivational-posters-1399958767.jpg
1779339_0.jpg
>>48213
>Why fight enemies at all?
To steal their loot, of course.
Thieves ftw
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48215
48216 48218 48219
>>48214
And that's another thing. What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal? You lose all of the Christmas Morning excitement
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48216
>>48215
Because, you know what you're getting with crafting.
The excitement is getting something you didn't even think about, but can use all the same
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48217
48221 48225
What happens to a party memeber's dead body when they reappear in the enteron?
E.G: Trump bleeds out and revives. Does his body *poof* into smoke just leaving gear, or does it stay there?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48218
>>48215
The good shit doesn't get made quickly. Thez has been waiting since she became hooman (ish) again to unveil her Amulet of Natural Armor. Fuggin' DAYS
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48219
48220
97acd6829e34fbf36439735450927ed8--dragon-quotes-tabletop-rpg.jpg
>>48215
>What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal?
The thrill of stealing things, and stabbing enemies.
Also, craft takes weeks, while stabbing is a standard action. Rogues don't have magick either.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48220
48222
>>48219
There's no thrill of stabbing or stealing if there's no challenge to it and no need for strategy
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48221
48223
>>48217
It either gets eaten by monsters, or liquidated by the rest of the party.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48222
48224
>>48220
Quantity.
If there's no challenge, keep doing it until you've got moar shekels than you can count. Then spend the shekels on cool stuff that makes it more efficient to kill more people and steal more stuff. Acquire wealth and power.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48223
>>48221
Oh no, if the bodies stay I have an idea.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48224
48225 48226 48227
>>48222
That entirely eliminates an entire pillar of the game by making combat meaningless except as money farming. Like why the hell not just lend out money at interest if that is your goal?

You're killing the fun by cheating everything
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48225
48230
>>48217
That's tricky, and its not as simple as you might think. I'd answer more fully, but no spoilers. ^_^
>>48224
Don't get robbed again myah,....
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48226
48228
>>48224
I like stabbing things.
The more efficiently I stab, the more I can stab.
>You're killing the fun
You don't have to stab if it's not any fun for you.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48227
48228
>>48224
>Like why the hell not just lend out money at interest
Nobody to lend to, and I'd rather spend it on better swag.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48228
48229
>>48226
Then why do you need haxx like free-action every-round smoke screen

>>48227
What swag? All swag is combat based, but the cheats you use for combat just makes it meaningless
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48229
48231
>>48228
I'm sure there will come a point where we can spend money.
The whole Port is still almost broke btw. We still need to get back the shekels that were stolen.
>>48228
>every-round smoke screen
More efficient stabbing.
k5+kC
?
No.48230
48232 48233 48239
[1d20+15 = 16]
>>48225
but I had a great idea

In the meantime, Torc decides to step back into hole in the temple while Mr. Snek sneks snek-ily.
Rolling for an archtecture check for hidden shit
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48231
48234
>>48229
Yeah, but why destroy the entire combat pillar of the game when we can have both loot and fun combat?
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48232
>>48230
>1
Welp, tonight is off to such a great fucking start
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48233
48238
>>48230
>15
How'd you get 15 in a Knowledge skill as a sorceror? I've been trying to rank-up in Planes knowledge, but i can still only get 8 ranks.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48234
48237 48238
>>48231
>destroy the entire combat pillar of the game
Rogues don't play fair.
You met Korak, right? He'd sneak attack with both of his gunz.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48235
48236 48239 48244
1514593065089.gif
>>48083
>pic related
>>48075
Awwwww

Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48236
>>48235
Yay! Infernius is here.
Now we can finally get to the crawl.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48237
48240
>>48234
You're confusing the player with the character. Players should play fair. And that cloak was only effective once per encounter unless he could duplicate the move
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48238
48240
>>48233
I have 12 ranks, extra 3 with int
>>48234
Now Torc snek attacks with the guns.
r9GHC
?
No.48239
48241 48243 48245
[2d12 = 4]
>>48235
Its true tho
>>48230
And Torcuil gashes his leg open on broken glass while entering the temple.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48240
>>48237
The cloak gives increasing concealment since the start of the encounter.
>>48238
Can we advance knowledge ranks even if we don't have the skill?
I want to advance planes knowledge to become a Agent Retriever.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48241
48242 48254
>>48239
Man, thats a real fucked up knowledge check
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48242
>>48241
You failed to know where you were stepping.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48243
48246
1516401664125-1.png
>>48239

Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48244
48247 48248
>>48235
Have him come to the door so we can start crawling.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48245
48250
>>48239
You can't use it to hide the guns every single round though, just when you initially draw them
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48246
48249
>>48243
Edge Pone Best Pone
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48247
>>48244
*infernuis crawls to the pyramid*
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48248
48251
>>48244
He's gonna walk in on Torc hopping around on one leg shouting assorted curses about Kefka's mother
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48249
>>48246
Thats Infernuis pone form except hes a stallion.
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48250
48251 48252
>>48245
That's not how the robe works.
Thieves (rogues and Bards) can also use Sleight of Hand checks to conceal their weapons.
With a dagger and a good check, you can Sneak Attack a character right in front of you.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48251
48264
>>48248
"You haven't an arm, ya haven't a leg, Haroo! Haroo!

>>48250
Not every single round of every encounter
Umbas
?
No.48252
48253 48256
[1d20 = 9]
>>48250
Sneak attack boop on tracy
eueZS
?
No.48253
48255 48256
[1d20+22 = 24]
>>48252
Reeee! Don't boop my pony!

Sneak attack boop on Thez
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48254
48261
>>48241
>4 dmg
What was I supposed to do? Have him have an aneurysm?

And Thez <whoooof> appears on scene,... with an unusual thickness to her skin. Its as though she's grown scales over her normal skin, aesthetically different (appearance-wise) but functionally the same as her previous Infernal appearance.
Also Infernius crawls on the scene to be a smartass.

Umbas
?
No.48255
48257
[1d20 = 11]
>>48253
Reeeeeeee
Boops brad sentry
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48256
>>48252
>>48253
>all these shitty rolls
It's gonna be a long night
eueZS
?
No.48257
[1d20+22 = 34]
>>48255
Oh Yeah! Boop You!
r9GHC
?
No.48258
48259 48261
[16d20 = 148]
Thez gets mad.
T> Flurry of Boops

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48259
48262
>>48258
Does... she fumble after the first 1 or does she get in the second critical boop?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48260
48263
It appears that everyone has been machine-gun booped, including a critical boop, before Thez rolled a fail.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48261
48266
Fuzzy spooder ring bonuses, what are they again?
>>48254
"Fucking son o' a whore."
Torc then notices Infernius crawling in
"Could you help me"
>>48258
"MY NOSE"
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48262
>>48259
No, the fail eliminates any further attacks.

Everyone was booped tho.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48263
48265
>>48260
Does she have that multiple opponent attack feat? Who received critical boopage?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48264
48270
Sneak_attack.jpg
>>48251
>Not every single round of every encounter
Where does it say you can't? The robe''s concealment increaeses as the the encounter progresses too. A normal cloak or robe gives you a +4 bonus on Sleight of Hand checks.
So long as you conceal your weapon, your enemy can't properly defend themselves, and are thus denied their dexterity bonus to AC, making them susceptible to Sneak Attacks.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48265
48268 48270
>>48263
I vote snek or Infernius gets the critical
Umbas
?
No.48266
48267 48268 48270
1515780940278.png
[1d20 = 9]
>>48261
Boops meme magician
*casts heal moderate wounds*
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48267
48270
>>48266
>9
We aren't gonna get shit done at this rate
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48268
48277 48281
>>48266
>minor
Dude, its 4 dmg
>>48265
Technically, Trump should get it cuz she booped him first (cuz he booped her first) but she likes Infernius better, and would have given him the critical boop. Its not a bad thing.
lqkPv
?
No.48269
48281
[1d20+26 = 36]
Tracy goes ahead, making sure to check for traps so the party doesn't get killed.
Search check to look for traps and hidden doors.

Inferius, could you cast Hide From Undead?
eueZS
?
No.48270
[1d20 = 6]
>>48264
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. I'm too busy booping to write a damned brief on the issue though

>>48266
>Healing boop
Why didn't I think of that?

>>48265
But snek has a different nose, so do you just boop him normally?

>>48267
Rolling to Grab Tracy by the pussy, see if that gives a good roll
eueZS
?
No.48271
48273 48275
[1d20+16 = 27]
[1d20+26 = 41]
Trumpaladin detects Evil

Fae: Spot and Listen Check
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48273
48276
>>48271
Staph. Let Tracy go first. She has the stealth and trap sense.
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48274
48277 48278 48279
001.png
>>48272
Going ahead then, which way is Tracy going?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48275
>>48271
>detect evil
The whole place, but nothing immediate from his current position.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48276
>>48273
I ain't going ahead. This is from the entrance
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48277
48279 48280
>>48268
>4 dmg
That's fucking 7% of Torc's health
Does Snek gtt any snek skill points or no? I'm finishing up my char sheets so I'm trying to figure out all my item bonus and shite
>>48274
I vote we go right
lqkPv
?
No.48278
[1d20+24 = 38]
>>48272
Why was this deleted?
>>48274
The right path.
Rolling to move Silently.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48279
48282
>>48277
>>48274
I vote Right, and door number 2
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48280
48286
>>48277
He can have 20 points to start with. At 1st he'll get the "1st level" remainder. No maxxing.
Umbas
?
No.48281
48284 48285 48287
[1d20 = 6]
>>48268
*pinches thez's ass*
>>48269
*casts protection from undead or whatever*
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48282
48283 48284
>>48279
So if going down the hallway, the door on the left?
eueZS
?
No.48283
[1d16 = 13]
[1d20+26 = 31]
>>48282
To the place with stairs and where the mummy room was located, but the next door

Trumpaladin follows Tracy with Fae - way behind Tracy

Spot and listen check
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48284
48285
>>48281
Good, cast it on everyone.
So long as we don't attack, undead can't see, hear, or smell us, but they can still sense circumstantial shit, so no horsing around.
>>48282
Is the door closed?
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48285
48288 48291
>>48281
Hand slap-slap-slap "Stahp!"
>>48284
The only door that's opened is the Mummy door.
Anonymous
k5+kC
?
No.48286
>>48280
That works, thanks again GM

Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48287
48289
>>48281
>Scaly fetish stuff
"yuck"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48288
48302
>>48285
"You love it"
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48289
48290
>>48287
"Scales feel good"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48290
48297
>>48289
"But sexually arousing?"
lqkPv
?
No.48291
48292 48293
[1d20+23 = 25]
>>48285
So, Tracy would have to open the door to see what's on the other side?
Search check to examine the door to see if it'd creak when opened.
lqkPv
?
No.48292
[1d20+27 = 43]
>>48291
Also, trap sense because why not.
Do I add the +4 to the modifier when using Search to look for traps?
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48293
48294
>>48291
Wanna do a detect evil on the closed door first?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48294
48295
>>48293
That'd take 3 rounds to get anything useful.
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48295
48296
>>48294
Do we not have 18 seconds to spare?
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48296
48298
>>48295
I'm sure it's evil.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48297
48298 48299
>>48290
"Thez arousing all the time,it dont matter what form she take."
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48298
48300 48302 48303 48305
>>48296
Yeah, but we can tell the number of enemies, direction, and relative strength of enemies at least near the door before opening it

>>48297
"But... Scales? Lizards aren't sexy"
Mrs. Sentry
lqkPv
?
No.48299
48301
>>48297
Infernius, when your character gets there, could you cast Disrupting weapon on Tracy's sword, so she can actually damage all these zombies? Sneak Attack can't do shit to them.
lqkPv
?
No.48300
48302
[1d20+21 = 39]
>>48298
Wait for the Roll to resolve.
Listen check, to detect anything on the other side of the door.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48301
>>48299
*casts disrupting weapon*
Anonymous
r9GHC
?
No.48302
>>48288
>blush
>>48298
Subjective, but scales = rough sex
>>48300
Shuffling noises, but nothing particularly onerous.
Anonymous
Umbas
?
No.48303
48304
>>48298
"Then why you want to fuck dragon?"
Anonymous
eueZS
?
No.48304
48306
>>48303
"That can transform. So not while it's a dragon"