RP Thread. Its D&D mixed with shitposting. Classic (flexible) rules, and more autism than you could shake a whole group of autists at, even if you did so autistically. New players area always welcome, whether continuing, one-time, or 'just shitposting'.
Welcome back to the ahem 'Bathhouse', a progressive thread that I'm sure plenty of anons wish would just fucking die already. What, its true,....
This particular beginning is heavily seasoned with enthusiasm and delight. Hot on the heels of killing a bunch of We Wuz, the party almost shattered for several reasons, both in-game and out. In spite of it all, the characters continue on their quest to do,... well,... stuff.
Trumpaladin has been gifted a quest from Lord John Elway. Infernius has been gifted a quest from the Fuhrer, Tracy wants to stab more shit, Torcuil is beginning to get clever with his use of Snek not like that you perv and Thez is thanking her lucky stars that she even exists anymore.
1260 replies and 141 files omitted.
>>48196How is this anything other than letting every single attack in all combat be a sneak attack with a free action?
>>48206Its only usable once/round. Best case scenario. she gets an additional sneak attack.
>>48207That's an additional at least one sneak attack every single round though.
The boots of the wolf only let you flank once per encounter, and the cape presumably only lets you execute the manuever when you first draw the pistols, so about once per encounter. But this is 9d6 extra damage
every single round of any encounter. 30+ additional damage every single round. For free. With no strategy, just using haxx to exploit a class feature to the etreme.
>>48208Smite evil only gives 17 damage per attack, less than half sneak attack damage. And that's limited to 4 uses a day
>>48205... shit, I didn't think of that..
How does Ponimaru light his?
>>48201On second thought, that'd look dumb and be retarded...
>>48206With a ring of Invisibility, you could Sneak Attack as many times as you wanted.
>>48209It's great for killing fiends and undead though.
Can't Sneak Attack the undead at all...
>>48207I could ask for an additional 9d6 damage on the first attack in every single round of combat... But what would be the point? You look at an enemy and *poof* they're dead. No strategy, no clever moves. No real chance of dying, being defeated and losing. No sense of accomplishment up winning. No comparing your results to people in other campaigns. Just attack an enemy, and they're dead. Why fight enemies at all?
>>48211Invisibility spell ends when you attack an enemy
>>48213>Why fight enemies at all?To steal their loot, of course.
Thieves ftw
>>48214And that's another thing. What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal? You lose all of the Christmas Morning excitement
>>48215Because, you know what you're getting with crafting.
The excitement is getting something you didn't even think about, but can use all the same
What happens to a party memeber's dead body when they reappear in the enteron?
E.G: Trump bleeds out and revives. Does his body *poof* into smoke just leaving gear, or does it stay there?
>>48215The good shit doesn't get made quickly. Thez has been waiting since she became hooman (ish) again to unveil her Amulet of Natural Armor. Fuggin' DAYS
>>48215>What's the point of loot if what you already have or can make yourself quickly is better than what you can steal?The thrill of stealing things, and stabbing enemies.
Also, craft takes weeks, while stabbing is a standard action. Rogues don't have magick either.
>>48219There's no thrill of stabbing or stealing if there's no challenge to it and no need for strategy
>>48217It either gets eaten by monsters, or liquidated by the rest of the party.
>>48220Quantity.
If there's no challenge, keep doing it until you've got moar shekels than you can count. Then spend the shekels on cool stuff that makes it more efficient to kill more people and steal more stuff. Acquire wealth and power.
>>48221Oh no, if the bodies stay I have an idea.
>>48222That entirely eliminates an entire pillar of the game by making combat meaningless except as money farming. Like why the hell not just lend out money at interest if that is your goal?
You're killing the fun by cheating everything
>>48217That's tricky, and its not as simple as you might think. I'd answer more fully, but no spoilers. ^_^
>>48224Don't get robbed again myah,....
>>48224I like stabbing things.
The more efficiently I stab, the more I
can stab.
>You're killing the funYou don't have to stab if it's not any fun for you.
>>48224>Like why the hell not just lend out money at interestNobody to lend to, and I'd rather spend it on better swag.
>>48226Then why do you need haxx like free-action every-round smoke screen
>>48227What swag? All swag is combat based, but the cheats you use for combat just makes it meaningless
>>48228I'm sure there will come a point where we can spend money.
The whole Port is still almost broke btw. We still need to get back the shekels that were stolen.
>>48228>every-round smoke screenMore efficient stabbing.
[1d20+15 = 16]>>48225but I had a great idea
In the meantime, Torc decides to step back into hole in the temple while Mr. Snek sneks snek-ily.
Rolling for an archtecture check for hidden shit
>>48229Yeah, but why destroy the entire combat pillar of the game when we can have both loot and fun combat?
>>48230>1Welp, tonight is off to such a
great fucking start
>>48230>15How'd you get 15 in a Knowledge skill as a sorceror? I've been trying to rank-up in Planes knowledge, but i can still only get 8 ranks.
>>48231>destroy the entire combat pillar of the gameRogues don't play fair.
You met Korak, right? He'd sneak attack with both of his gunz.
>>48235Yay! Infernius is here.
Now we can finally get to the crawl.
>>48234You're confusing the player with the character. Players should play fair. And that cloak was only effective once per encounter unless he could duplicate the move
>>48233I have 12 ranks, extra 3 with int
>>48234Now Torc snek attacks with the guns.
[2d12 = 4]>>48235Its true tho
>>48230And Torcuil gashes his leg open on broken glass while entering the temple.
>>48237The cloak gives increasing concealment since the start of the encounter.
>>48238Can we advance knowledge ranks even if we don't have the skill?
I want to advance planes knowledge to become a Agent Retriever.
>>48239Man, thats a real fucked up
knowledge check
>>48241You failed to know where you were stepping.
>>48235Have him come to the door so we can start crawling.
>>48239You can't use it to hide the guns every single round though, just when you initially draw them
>>48244*infernuis crawls to the pyramid*
>>48244He's gonna walk in on Torc hopping around on one leg shouting assorted curses about Kefka's mother
>>48246Thats Infernuis pone form except hes a stallion.
>>48245That's not how the robe works.
Thieves (rogues and Bards) can also use Sleight of Hand checks to conceal their weapons.
With a dagger and a good check, you can Sneak Attack a character right in front of you.
>>48248"You haven't an arm, ya haven't a leg, Haroo! Haroo!
>>48250Not every single round of every encounter
[1d20 = 9]>>48250Sneak attack boop on tracy
[1d20+22 = 24]>>48252Reeee! Don't boop my pony!
Sneak attack boop on Thez
>>48241>4 dmgWhat was I supposed to do? Have him have an aneurysm?
And Thez <whoooof> appears on scene,... with an unusual thickness to her skin. Its as though she's grown scales over her normal skin, aesthetically different (appearance-wise) but functionally the same as her previous Infernal appearance.
Also Infernius crawls on the scene to be a smartass.
>>48252>>48253>all these shitty rollsIt's gonna be a long night
[16d20 = 148]
Thez gets mad.
T> Flurry of Boops
>>48258Does... she fumble after the first 1 or does she get in the second critical boop?
It appears that everyone has been machine-gun booped, including a critical boop, before Thez rolled a fail.
Fuzzy spooder ring bonuses, what are they again?>>48254"Fucking son o' a whore."
Torc then notices Infernius crawling in
"Could you help me"
>>48258"MY NOSE"
>>48259No, the fail eliminates any further attacks.
Everyone was booped tho.
>>48260Does she have that multiple opponent attack feat? Who received critical boopage?
>>48251>Not every single round of every encounterWhere does it say you can't? The robe''s concealment increaeses as the the encounter progresses too. A normal cloak or robe gives you a +4 bonus on Sleight of Hand checks.
So long as you conceal your weapon, your enemy can't properly defend themselves, and are thus denied their dexterity bonus to AC, making them susceptible to Sneak Attacks.
>>48263I vote snek or Infernius gets the critical
[1d20 = 9]>>48261Boops meme magician
*casts heal moderate wounds*
>>48266>9We aren't gonna get shit done at this rate
>>48266>minorDude, its 4 dmg
>>48265Technically, Trump should get it cuz she booped him first (cuz he booped her first) but she likes Infernius better, and would have given him the critical boop. Its not a bad thing.
[1d20+26 = 36]
Tracy goes ahead, making sure to check for traps so the party doesn't get killed.
Search check to look for traps and hidden doors.
Inferius, could you cast Hide From Undead?
[1d20 = 6]>>48264Yeah, I'm pretty sure it doesn't work that way. I'm too busy booping to write a damned brief on the issue though
>>48266>Healing boopWhy didn't I think of that?
>>48265But snek has a different nose, so do you just boop him normally?
>>48267Rolling to Grab Tracy by the pussy, see if that gives a good roll
[1d20+16 = 27]
[1d20+26 = 41]
Trumpaladin detects Evil
Fae: Spot and Listen Check
>>48271Staph. Let Tracy go first. She has the stealth and trap sense.
>>48272
Going ahead then, which way is Tracy going?
>>48271>detect evilThe whole place, but nothing immediate from his current position.
>>48273I ain't going ahead. This is from the entrance
>>48268>4 dmgThat's fucking 7% of Torc's health
Does Snek gtt any snek skill points or no? I'm finishing up my char sheets so I'm trying to figure out all my item bonus and shite
>>48274I vote we go right
[1d20+24 = 38]>>48272Why was this deleted?
>>48274The right path.
Rolling to move Silently.
>>48277>>48274I vote Right, and door number 2
>>48277He can have 20 points to start with. At 1st he'll get the "1st level" remainder. No maxxing.
[1d20 = 6]>>48268*pinches thez's ass*
>>48269*casts protection from undead or whatever*
>>48279So if going down the hallway, the door on the left?
[1d16 = 13][1d20+26 = 31]>>48282To the place with stairs and where the mummy room was located, but the next door
Trumpaladin follows Tracy with Fae - way behind Tracy
Spot and listen check
>>48281Good, cast it on everyone.
So long as we don't attack, undead can't see, hear, or smell us, but they can still sense circumstantial shit, so no horsing around.
>>48282Is the door closed?
>>48281Hand slap-slap-slap "Stahp!"
>>48284The only door that's opened is the Mummy door.
>>48280That works, thanks again GM
[1d20+23 = 25]>>48285So, Tracy would have to open the door to see what's on the other side?
Search check to examine the door to see if it'd creak when opened.
[1d20+27 = 43]>>48291Also, trap sense because why not.
Do I add the +4 to the modifier when using Search to look for traps?
>>48291Wanna do a detect evil on the closed door first?
>>48293That'd take 3 rounds to get anything useful.
>>48294Do we not have 18 seconds to spare?
>>48290"Thez arousing all the time,it dont matter what form she take."
>>48296Yeah, but we can tell the number of enemies, direction, and relative strength of enemies at least near the door before opening it
>>48297"But... Scales? Lizards aren't sexy"
>>48297Infernius, when your character gets there, could you cast Disrupting weapon on Tracy's sword, so she can actually damage all these zombies? Sneak Attack can't do shit to them.
[1d20+21 = 39]>>48298Wait for the Roll to resolve.
Listen check, to detect anything on the other side of the door.
>>48299*casts disrupting weapon*
>>48288>blush>>48298Subjective, but scales = rough sex
>>48300Shuffling noises, but nothing particularly onerous.
>>48298"Then why you want to fuck dragon?"
>>48303"That can transform. So not while it's a dragon"