So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.
If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal
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1286 replies and 128 files omitted.
boop
Boop
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>>43415
So Tracy was in the process of concluding a metamorphosis of sorts, expelling certain (((undesirable))) elements, given the circumstances.
So Tracy was in the process of concluding a metamorphosis of sorts, expelling certain (((undesirable))) elements, given the circumstances.
Trumpaladin consults with Fae
"I've received word from Elway himself on how to handle the pony"
"I've received word from Elway himself on how to handle the pony"
>>43425
Tracy, that is
Fae delivers the holy speech, as ordered by Elway himself
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to annoint this fuzzy demon poner with the blessings of Football, and purge forever the dander of false football which has plagued her for so long."
"Almighty Dan Reeves, father of John Elway, who didst cum in Rainbow Dash that fateful December day, here now my prayer:"
"Burst forth the fluids of thy everlasting seed upon this, thy child, and cleanse forever this poner; warm her icy heart with your cool island song and lull her to sleep beneath a swaying coconut tree of pure Football."
"Make now her fluff hypoallergenic now and forevermore, so that we may breathe of the air around her, and not be cursed with tiny space creatures that take up residence inside our brains and control our bodies like in that one Eddie Murphy movie that I never saw because literally who gives a fuck at this point."
"In the name of Dan Reeves, and John Elway, and The Denver Broncos, Amen."
Tracy, that is
Fae delivers the holy speech, as ordered by Elway himself
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to annoint this fuzzy demon poner with the blessings of Football, and purge forever the dander of false football which has plagued her for so long."
"Almighty Dan Reeves, father of John Elway, who didst cum in Rainbow Dash that fateful December day, here now my prayer:"
"Burst forth the fluids of thy everlasting seed upon this, thy child, and cleanse forever this poner; warm her icy heart with your cool island song and lull her to sleep beneath a swaying coconut tree of pure Football."
"Make now her fluff hypoallergenic now and forevermore, so that we may breathe of the air around her, and not be cursed with tiny space creatures that take up residence inside our brains and control our bodies like in that one Eddie Murphy movie that I never saw because literally who gives a fuck at this point."
"In the name of Dan Reeves, and John Elway, and The Denver Broncos, Amen."
>>43426
Fae makes the sign of the Football
When this is done, Trumpaladin pulls out his penis (the lack of a cod piece helps), and chants "I'm a pretty pony, please pet my mane" three times as he spins in circles.
He then pours WalMart brand Almond Macchiato Syrup on his penis, and places a cherry ontop
Now for the most important part of the ceremony...
Fae performs oral sex on Trumpaladin. She sucks and licks and sucks until the holy fluid is shot forth and received into her mouth. She gargles the baptismal fluid, and as she does so, she sings "Happy Birth Day, Mr President" in a manner that expresses all of the lewdness she has been suppressing her entire life in the song.
She spits the baptismal fluid onto Tracy's face
Fae makes the sign of the Football
When this is done, Trumpaladin pulls out his penis (the lack of a cod piece helps), and chants "I'm a pretty pony, please pet my mane" three times as he spins in circles.
He then pours WalMart brand Almond Macchiato Syrup on his penis, and places a cherry ontop
Now for the most important part of the ceremony...
Fae performs oral sex on Trumpaladin. She sucks and licks and sucks until the holy fluid is shot forth and received into her mouth. She gargles the baptismal fluid, and as she does so, she sings "Happy Birth Day, Mr President" in a manner that expresses all of the lewdness she has been suppressing her entire life in the song.
She spits the baptismal fluid onto Tracy's face
>>43427
TRACY IS BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF ELWAY, FOOTBALL, AND AMERICAN!
Punch and pie are served
And now, very, very, very importantly
A ten gallon hat is placed on Tracy's head. Fae and Trumpaladin grapple her for this
TRACY IS BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF ELWAY, FOOTBALL, AND AMERICAN!
Punch and pie are served
And now, very, very, very importantly
A ten gallon hat is placed on Tracy's head. Fae and Trumpaladin grapple her for this
>>43427
>>43428
A random cowboy happens to be passing by. "nice ten gallon hat" he remarks. "Just out of curiosity, why didn't you wash your penis with consecrated gatorade before applying the almond syrup? Don't you know that could release Cthulu-pony from his ancient slumber beneath the briny deep? I sure hope for your sake there weren't any impure microbes on that penis that would have been purified by the consecrated electrolytes. Anyway, it's none of my business. All this talk of gatorade is making me thirsty. I'm going to go see if there's a 7 Eleven around here."
He ambles off into the sunset.
>>43428
A random cowboy happens to be passing by. "nice ten gallon hat" he remarks. "Just out of curiosity, why didn't you wash your penis with consecrated gatorade before applying the almond syrup? Don't you know that could release Cthulu-pony from his ancient slumber beneath the briny deep? I sure hope for your sake there weren't any impure microbes on that penis that would have been purified by the consecrated electrolytes. Anyway, it's none of my business. All this talk of gatorade is making me thirsty. I'm going to go see if there's a 7 Eleven around here."
He ambles off into the sunset.
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>>43432
i bet it hurts brad sentry to his core to do that.
i bet it hurts brad sentry to his core to do that.
>return
>see new bread
>just read this one so far
>noose tying intensifies
>see new bread
>just read this one so far
>noose tying intensifies
>>43436
I mean, I've read some weird shit but this absolutly takes the fucking cake.
Was everybody drunk at the same time?
I mean, I've read some weird shit but this absolutly takes the fucking cake.
Was everybody drunk at the same time?
Kick everyone off the ship
Can Tracy re-enchant her Skull Mask to make it double as a mask of disguise? I'd rather it only look like a Troll face while it's attacking.
>>43452
All of them: more than enough.
They'd make great casts for spooky shoulder-plates for Infernius.
Also, make that brass horn already. Just make a Non-magical prosthetic to wear, and enchant it every day as you wear it.
All of them: more than enough.
They'd make great casts for spooky shoulder-plates for Infernius.
Also, make that brass horn already. Just make a Non-magical prosthetic to wear, and enchant it every day as you wear it.
>>43453
I need to find a brass dragon for the horn. I like the troll skull shoulder idea. Maybe lennos will help me forge them out of adamantium.
I need to find a brass dragon for the horn. I like the troll skull shoulder idea. Maybe lennos will help me forge them out of adamantium.
>>43456
Yeah, but why is he going to bitch about a post I made saying "he's at work" but then continue his normal "I'm going to ask for this item from GM, even though after several months of this I should have realized I'm not going to get a response when I ask in a thread six plus hours before he gets off work." I know damn well that's distracting too
Yeah, but why is he going to bitch about a post I made saying "he's at work" but then continue his normal "I'm going to ask for this item from GM, even though after several months of this I should have realized I'm not going to get a response when I ask in a thread six plus hours before he gets off work." I know damn well that's distracting too
>>43455
I didn't mean it that way.
Just don't physically do things to my character before I have the chance to read what's going on. I'll see what all these sacrements mean later today.
I didn't mean it that way.
Just don't physically do things to my character before I have the chance to read what's going on. I'll see what all these sacrements mean later today.
>>43463
>Elway is a God of Chaos
I'm learning that now...
>>43463
>>43462
I saw the opportunity to baptize the Tracy character and there was just no way I was going to let that pass up, so I wrote a little scene where Fae would baptize her while Trumpaladin went to wash off possibly evil dander, then realized that I could have Elway write a prayer. When I read the prayer I realized that the Baptism required Tracy to be baptized in semen, and not holy gatorade. When I explained that the priestess performing the procedure was incapable of providing the required fluid he said that Trump Sentry had to ejaculate into the priestess's mouth and spit it on the pony while the pony sang "happy birthday mister president." I explained that the pony being baptized was not going to cooperate and sing, so he gave the alternatives that the dragon-lion could gargle the semen and sing or a different pony could sing. He said Fae could be excommunicated if she messed up the ceremony. I made the mistake of asking what if the penis has not been cleaned since the last time it was in the demon pony. I also made the mistake of asking how Fae was going to say the holy words while performing felatio, which prompted the response "Jesus Christ, you guys are such amateurs I'm beginning to wonder if you even ought to be performing the ceremony at all." He also said that Fae "ought to be sent back several levels" when I insinuated that Fae did not have a Magic Fang permanency enchantment on her mouth.
So yeah, I got bullied by my Mod God. I got bullied pretty hard...
>>43462
>>43463
I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for...
\r
>Elway is a God of Chaos
I'm learning that now...
>>43463
>>43462
I saw the opportunity to baptize the Tracy character and there was just no way I was going to let that pass up, so I wrote a little scene where Fae would baptize her while Trumpaladin went to wash off possibly evil dander, then realized that I could have Elway write a prayer. When I read the prayer I realized that the Baptism required Tracy to be baptized in semen, and not holy gatorade. When I explained that the priestess performing the procedure was incapable of providing the required fluid he said that Trump Sentry had to ejaculate into the priestess's mouth and spit it on the pony while the pony sang "happy birthday mister president." I explained that the pony being baptized was not going to cooperate and sing, so he gave the alternatives that the dragon-lion could gargle the semen and sing or a different pony could sing. He said Fae could be excommunicated if she messed up the ceremony. I made the mistake of asking what if the penis has not been cleaned since the last time it was in the demon pony. I also made the mistake of asking how Fae was going to say the holy words while performing felatio, which prompted the response "Jesus Christ, you guys are such amateurs I'm beginning to wonder if you even ought to be performing the ceremony at all." He also said that Fae "ought to be sent back several levels" when I insinuated that Fae did not have a Magic Fang permanency enchantment on her mouth.
So yeah, I got bullied by my Mod God. I got bullied pretty hard...
>>43462
>>43463
I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for...
\r
>>43464
I forgot to add the part where he was insistent repeatedly that the procedure had to be followed precisely or else there was a risk of summoning Cthulhu pony. And I managed to fuck up and leave off the step where the penis is cleaned in holy Gatorade
Well, Lion saliva is anti-septic, and Fae probably drank some of the delightful holy Gatorade to replenish her electrolytes, so hopefully that works
I forgot to add the part where he was insistent repeatedly that the procedure had to be followed precisely or else there was a risk of summoning Cthulhu pony. And I managed to fuck up and leave off the step where the penis is cleaned in holy Gatorade
Well, Lion saliva is anti-septic, and Fae probably drank some of the delightful holy Gatorade to replenish her electrolytes, so hopefully that works
>>43467
I dont think i am.
"Racemixing is degenerate."
"Your god commands her to take a shower to get rid of this filth."
I dont think i am.
"Racemixing is degenerate."
"Your god commands her to take a shower to get rid of this filth."
>>43472
Yea i know about the delousing but i dont think thats what atlas was implying.
>We should pair off Tracy with a Mod God eventually
Lotus?
It is comparable to that, they are both white.
Yea i know about the delousing but i dont think thats what atlas was implying.
>We should pair off Tracy with a Mod God eventually
Lotus?
It is comparable to that, they are both white.
>>43464
>I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for…
It's only fair, Anon. You can't just defy your patron deity after consulting him.
>>43465
>risk of summoning Cthulhu pony.
This is easily within the realm of possibility now... Remember the infamous 2999 and 3000 posts on the main board? Cthulhu pony is real...
>I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for…
It's only fair, Anon. You can't just defy your patron deity after consulting him.
>>43465
>risk of summoning Cthulhu pony.
This is easily within the realm of possibility now... Remember the infamous 2999 and 3000 posts on the main board? Cthulhu pony is real...
>>43478
Of course, she'd also have to hope for a high DC roll just to use the scroll..
Of course, she'd also have to hope for a high DC roll just to use the scroll..
>>43455
I'm still injured, I'll be here all week.
>>43461
Who was complaining?
>>43464
Ebin troll. Yeah that's the thing about contacting gods,... its generally not a good idea unless absolutely necessary and the person has expended all available options. Otherwise its like asking "Hey God, what should I get from the grocery store today?" I tried explaining this to Mormons once,....
I'm still injured, I'll be here all week.
>>43461
Who was complaining?
>>43464
Ebin troll. Yeah that's the thing about contacting gods,... its generally not a good idea unless absolutely necessary and the person has expended all available options. Otherwise its like asking "Hey God, what should I get from the grocery store today?" I tried explaining this to Mormons once,....
>>43485
I literally said nothing. I'm speechless. Its not a disdainful speechless, its more of confusion.
I literally said nothing. I'm speechless. Its not a disdainful speechless, its more of confusion.
>>43493
"Oh, you better not!"
*glares*
*glares continuously, but more intensely*
"Oh, you better not!"
*glares*
*glares continuously, but more intensely*
>>43492
>>43493
"What? That's what you say right? Its like saying "Geshundteit" when someone sneezes."
>>43493
"What? That's what you say right? Its like saying "Geshundteit" when someone sneezes."
>>43495
"It's a short but meaning filled prayer to our Elway, for the blessings he delivers on all of us every day"
"It's a short but meaning filled prayer to our Elway, for the blessings he delivers on all of us every day"
Is there a bug that prevents mobile posts from being deleted? I tried to delet something I miscommunicated, but I couldn't.
>>43497
Yeah, the password will not save.
I'll ask the devs, but I feel pretty confident this is a known issue
Yeah, the password will not save.
I'll ask the devs, but I feel pretty confident this is a known issue
>>43482
Yeah, Gods aren't normally that thrilled to talk to mortals over matters that don't concern the fate of the world.
The Deus ex Machina aspect isn't always tasteful either, since it kind of stunt character development of morality.
Yeah, Gods aren't normally that thrilled to talk to mortals over matters that don't concern the fate of the world.
The Deus ex Machina aspect isn't always tasteful either, since it kind of stunt character development of morality.
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>>43503
Well, if you can just directly ask God what the right thing to do is, there isn't really the same internal conflict regarding the interpretation of faith.
Well, if you can just directly ask God what the right thing to do is, there isn't really the same internal conflict regarding the interpretation of faith.
So let me see if I got this right. Yes, I was drunk BTW.
Tracy flipped out and became a weird tentacle-fluff monster bent on consuming Trump, who with quick thinking called on Fae to GTFO. Tracy-cle maintained hot pursuit, and the group ended up weaving their way to Mile High stadium, where a small procession had gathered, trapping Tracy-cle in an ahem solemn and deliberate homage to Elway, the result of which that any lingering (((essence))) was purged in the hot ahem 'essence' of Football, first from Trump, then from Fae.
That about right?
Tracy flipped out and became a weird tentacle-fluff monster bent on consuming Trump, who with quick thinking called on Fae to GTFO. Tracy-cle maintained hot pursuit, and the group ended up weaving their way to Mile High stadium, where a small procession had gathered, trapping Tracy-cle in an ahem solemn and deliberate homage to Elway, the result of which that any lingering (((essence))) was purged in the hot ahem 'essence' of Football, first from Trump, then from Fae.
That about right?
>>43506
>the sacrament procedure…
How many ranks did you put into knowledge religion? You can roll to know the answers to small things like that.
>the sacrament procedure…
How many ranks did you put into knowledge religion? You can roll to know the answers to small things like that.
>>43509
That was most observably,... creative.
>saliva
An alchemical reaction then, formed of sapphire bullets of pure football.
That was most observably,... creative.
>saliva
An alchemical reaction then, formed of sapphire bullets of pure football.
>>43511
Yeah, I was just looking for that on Wikipedia, but didn't find it..
Yeah, I was just looking for that on Wikipedia, but didn't find it..
>>43514
>>43511
A Paladin is immune to disease and can remove disease, so why wouldn't a Paladin's mount have a lesser version of this?
>>43511
A Paladin is immune to disease and can remove disease, so why wouldn't a Paladin's mount have a lesser version of this?
>>43518
Then why did you say the prayer was heresy?
>>43519
So? It doesn't have any gameplay purpose. Just minimal background story purpose
Then why did you say the prayer was heresy?
>>43519
So? It doesn't have any gameplay purpose. Just minimal background story purpose
>>43520
Let me have the Str and Int adjustments associated with the Paladin's Mount class while in pony form, and I won't complain.
Let me have the Str and Int adjustments associated with the Paladin's Mount class while in pony form, and I won't complain.
>>43521
that's not an int adjustment, that's a score. I need to negotiate with GM for a higher int score on Fae. But we can redo the nature of Tracy's haxx
that's not an int adjustment, that's a score. I need to negotiate with GM for a higher int score on Fae. But we can redo the nature of Tracy's haxx
>>43524
I gotta ask though, what does Fae really need moar Int for? I just want Tracy to be able to cast Assassin spells, but I was mostly joking about that too.
>>43525
>*Lightning bolt incinerates Trumpaladin*
I gotta ask though, what does Fae really need moar Int for? I just want Tracy to be able to cast Assassin spells, but I was mostly joking about that too.
>>43525
>*Lightning bolt incinerates Trumpaladin*
>>43526
I mean, she's already got moar than enough int to be trained for two general purposes, and it seems you've already designated "priest" as one of them. She won't need very many Int-related skills either.
Just wondering.
I mean, she's already got moar than enough int to be trained for two general purposes, and it seems you've already designated "priest" as one of them. She won't need very many Int-related skills either.
Just wondering.
What was that obscure creature that Tracy mentioned a while back? It wasn't a Kirin was it?
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