/vx/ - Videogames and Paranormal


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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 128 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43415
43421
image.jpg
boop
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43417
1597346__safe_artist-colon-jucamovi1992_flash sentry_twilight sparkle_alicorn_crazy face_faic_female_flashlight_flash snaptry_floppy ears_grin_male_mar.jpeg
Boop
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43418
infernuisRick.jpg
>>43413

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43420
>>43407 →
Fae says to pony

"You've never been baptized, have you?"
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43421
>>43415
So Tracy was in the process of concluding a metamorphosis of sorts, expelling certain (((undesirable))) elements, given the circumstances.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43422
43423
Trumpaladin consults with Fae

"I've received word from Elway himself on how to handle the pony"
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43423
43424
>>43422
"Yes of course!"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43424
>>43423
"You might not like it at first..."

Tells her what his god has ordered
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43426
43427 43483
>>43425
Tracy, that is

Fae delivers the holy speech, as ordered by Elway himself

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to annoint this fuzzy demon poner with the blessings of Football, and purge forever the dander of false football which has plagued her for so long."

"Almighty Dan Reeves, father of John Elway, who didst cum in Rainbow Dash that fateful December day, here now my prayer:"

"Burst forth the fluids of thy everlasting seed upon this, thy child, and cleanse forever this poner; warm her icy heart with your cool island song and lull her to sleep beneath a swaying coconut tree of pure Football."

"Make now her fluff hypoallergenic now and forevermore, so that we may breathe of the air around her, and not be cursed with tiny space creatures that take up residence inside our brains and control our bodies like in that one Eddie Murphy movie that I never saw because literally who gives a fuck at this point."

"In the name of Dan Reeves, and John Elway, and The Denver Broncos, Amen."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43427
43428 43429 43434 43450 43483
>>43426
Fae makes the sign of the Football

When this is done, Trumpaladin pulls out his penis (the lack of a cod piece helps), and chants "I'm a pretty pony, please pet my mane" three times as he spins in circles.

He then pours WalMart brand Almond Macchiato Syrup on his penis, and places a cherry ontop

Now for the most important part of the ceremony...

Fae performs oral sex on Trumpaladin. She sucks and licks and sucks until the holy fluid is shot forth and received into her mouth. She gargles the baptismal fluid, and as she does so, she sings "Happy Birth Day, Mr President" in a manner that expresses all of the lewdness she has been suppressing her entire life in the song.

She spits the baptismal fluid onto Tracy's face
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43428
43429 43450 43483
>>43427
TRACY IS BAPTIZED IN THE NAME OF ELWAY, FOOTBALL, AND AMERICAN!

Punch and pie are served

And now, very, very, very importantly

A ten gallon hat is placed on Tracy's head. Fae and Trumpaladin grapple her for this
Anonymous
VxYA4
?
No.43429
43430 43431
>>43427
>>43428

A random cowboy happens to be passing by. "nice ten gallon hat" he remarks. "Just out of curiosity, why didn't you wash your penis with consecrated gatorade before applying the almond syrup? Don't you know that could release Cthulu-pony from his ancient slumber beneath the briny deep? I sure hope for your sake there weren't any impure microbes on that penis that would have been purified by the consecrated electrolytes. Anyway, it's none of my business. All this talk of gatorade is making me thirsty. I'm going to go see if there's a 7 Eleven around here."

He ambles off into the sunset.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43430
>>43429
reeeeee
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43431
1491100315694.jpg
>>43429

Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43433
>>43432
i bet it hurts brad sentry to his core to do that.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43434
43438
>>43427
Wtf did you do in the dead of night?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43435
43436 43438
>return
>see new bread
>just read this one so far
>noose tying intensifies
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43436
43437 43438
>>43435
Ikr...
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43437
43439
>>43436
I mean, I've read some weird shit but this absolutly takes the fucking cake.
Was everybody drunk at the same time?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43438
43440
>>43434
>>43435
>>43436
I consulted the patron
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43439
43440
>>43437
>Was everybody drunk at the same time?
Apparently...
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43440
43442 43443
>>43438
>>43439
Please tell me you at least left Torc's ship before you started this shut
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43442
43445
>>43440
Which shit exactly? The fluff monster?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43443
43445
>>43440
>implying
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43444
Kick everyone off the ship
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43445
Now that thats done
>>43442
That weird ass shit with Fae and Tracy and....
Other things...
I haven't read the end of the last bread
>>43443
>REEEEE
Mrs. Sentry
kRi4w
?
No.43447
43448
Pls stop shitposting so I can work..
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43448
43449
>>43447
What's stoping you from working?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43449
>>43448
Your shitposting apparently
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43450
>>43427
>>43428
I saw that.
Mrs. Sentry
WgBSE
?
No.43451
43452 43455
Can Tracy re-enchant her Skull Mask to make it double as a mask of disguise? I'd rather it only look like a Troll face while it's attacking.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43452
43453
>>43451
How many troll skulls did we have?
Mrs. Sentry
WgBSE
?
No.43453
43454 43455
>>43452
All of them: more than enough.
They'd make great casts for spooky shoulder-plates for Infernius.
Also, make that brass horn already. Just make a Non-magical prosthetic to wear, and enchant it every day as you wear it.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43454
>>43453
I need to find a brass dragon for the horn. I like the troll skull shoulder idea. Maybe lennos will help me forge them out of adamantium.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43455
43456 43458 43482
>>43451
>>43453
You bitch about a single post I make but then you continue this all day let's-make-item requests-to-GM-who-will-probably-never-see these-posts-because-we-make-200-meta-posts before-he-gets-of-work? What the fuck man?
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43456
43457
>>43455
The meta talk gives me ideas.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43457
>>43456
Yeah, but why is he going to bitch about a post I made saying "he's at work" but then continue his normal "I'm going to ask for this item from GM, even though after several months of this I should have realized I'm not going to get a response when I ask in a thread six plus hours before he gets off work." I know damn well that's distracting too
Mrs. Sentry
WgBSE
?
No.43458
43459
>>43455
I didn't mean it that way.
Just don't physically do things to my character before I have the chance to read what's going on. I'll see what all these sacrements mean later today.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43459
43460
>>43458
Okay...

>What these sacraments mean
Well, she;s hypoallergenic now, so there's that
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43460
43461
>>43459
Why did you retype the sacraments?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43461
43462 43463 43482
>>43460
People were complaining about the procedure Elway mod insisted on
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43462
43464
>>43461
I liked it and the gm already saw it so....
Mrs. Sentry
WgBSE
?
No.43463
43464 43472
>>43461
I'm thinking Elway might actually be a Chaotic Good deity.
VoRsg
?
No.43464
43465 43466 43475 43482
File (hide): 0.0 (0.0 bytes, 0, )
>>43463
>Elway is a God of Chaos
I'm learning that now...

>>43463
>>43462
I saw the opportunity to baptize the Tracy character and there was just no way I was going to let that pass up, so I wrote a little scene where Fae would baptize her while Trumpaladin went to wash off possibly evil dander, then realized that I could have Elway write a prayer. When I read the prayer I realized that the Baptism required Tracy to be baptized in semen, and not holy gatorade. When I explained that the priestess performing the procedure was incapable of providing the required fluid he said that Trump Sentry had to ejaculate into the priestess's mouth and spit it on the pony while the pony sang "happy birthday mister president." I explained that the pony being baptized was not going to cooperate and sing, so he gave the alternatives that the dragon-lion could gargle the semen and sing or a different pony could sing. He said Fae could be excommunicated if she messed up the ceremony. I made the mistake of asking what if the penis has not been cleaned since the last time it was in the demon pony. I also made the mistake of asking how Fae was going to say the holy words while performing felatio, which prompted the response "Jesus Christ, you guys are such amateurs I'm beginning to wonder if you even ought to be performing the ceremony at all." He also said that Fae "ought to be sent back several levels" when I insinuated that Fae did not have a Magic Fang permanency enchantment on her mouth.

So yeah, I got bullied by my Mod God. I got bullied pretty hard...

>>43462
>>43463
I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for...
\r
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43465
43466 43475
>>43464
I forgot to add the part where he was insistent repeatedly that the procedure had to be followed precisely or else there was a risk of summoning Cthulhu pony. And I managed to fuck up and leave off the step where the penis is cleaned in holy Gatorade

Well, Lion saliva is anti-septic, and Fae probably drank some of the delightful holy Gatorade to replenish her electrolytes, so hopefully that works
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43466
43467
>>43464
>>43465
But did you get told to kill your child?

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43467
43468
>>43466
I still think you're misinterpreting Hitler's words
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43468
43469
>>43467
I dont think i am.
"Racemixing is degenerate."
"Your god commands her to take a shower to get rid of this filth."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43469
43470 43471
>>43468
Race-mixing is degenerate.

He clearly meant that she needed to be deloused.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43470
43472
>>43469
Shes like an anglo and Infernuis is Aryan. So were both the same race.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43471
43472
>>43469
Whats your definition of delousing?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43472
43473
738879__safe_artist-colon-i am nude_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_4chan_broom_frown_janitor_-fwslash-mlp-fwslash-_request_scruffy_solo.png
>>43470
>Implying a dwarf-elf and a Minotaur is anything at all even remotely comparable to that

>>43471
Uh, delousing. Like what the Nazis did to the Jews

>>43463
We should pair off Tracy with a Mod God eventually
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43473
43476
>>43472
Yea i know about the delousing but i dont think thats what atlas was implying.
>We should pair off Tracy with a Mod God eventually
Lotus?
It is comparable to that, they are both white.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43475
43481 43484
>>43464
>I mean, I guess that if Infernius can be bullied by his mod god, then so can I when it's pretty much literally what I signed up for…
It's only fair, Anon. You can't just defy your patron deity after consulting him.
>>43465
>risk of summoning Cthulhu pony.
This is easily within the realm of possibility now... Remember the infamous 2999 and 3000 posts on the main board? Cthulhu pony is real...
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43476
43477 43481
>>43473
I want her to talk to those hags first, but it'll take at least 4 days to get the scroll.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43477
>>43476
Scroll?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43479
>>43478
Of course, she'd also have to hope for a high DC roll just to use the scroll..
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43480
43481
>>43478
Calling the hags?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43481
>>43480
>>43478
>>43476
We definitely should pair her with a Mod God.

>>43475
>Infamous 2999 and 3000 posts
Do you mean the 29999 and 30000 posts? Yes, I remember

Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43482
43484 43501
>>43455
I'm still injured, I'll be here all week.
>>43461
Who was complaining?
>>43464
Ebin troll. Yeah that's the thing about contacting gods,... its generally not a good idea unless absolutely necessary and the person has expended all available options. Otherwise its like asking "Hey God, what should I get from the grocery store today?" I tried explaining this to Mormons once,....
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43483
43485
>>43478
Who's making the scroll exactly?
>>43426
>>43427
>>43428
o_o
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43484
>>43482
*sighs*

*restores shadow deleted posts pertaining to Tracy's baptism*

>>43475
Shush! Dragonne saliva is anti-septic, and Fae made sure to wash the dirty penis in it, besides remnants of holy electrolytes
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43485
43486 43488 43489
>>43483
Uh... I can shadow delete the posts again
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43486
43487
>>43485
I literally said nothing. I'm speechless. Its not a disdainful speechless, its more of confusion.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43487
43489
>>43486
Its elways holy sacrament.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43488
>>43485
Come on man keep em up.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43489
43490
>>43485
>>43487
"Praise Elway, praise Football. God Bless American."
What she said.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43490
43491
>>43489
Oh thank Elway, I was worried Fae was upset about Trumpaladin's omission of one of the steps
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43491
43492
>>43490
That was Thez actually.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43492
43495
>>43491
reeeee

I'm glad she's taking interest in Football though.
If only waifu would do the same...
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43494
>>43493
"Oh, you better not!"

*glares*

*glares continuously, but more intensely*
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43495
43496
>>43492
>>43493
"What? That's what you say right? Its like saying "Geshundteit" when someone sneezes."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43496
>>43495
"It's a short but meaning filled prayer to our Elway, for the blessings he delivers on all of us every day"
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43497
43498 43499
Is there a bug that prevents mobile posts from being deleted? I tried to delet something I miscommunicated, but I couldn't.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43498
>>43497
Yeah, the password will not save.

I'll ask the devs, but I feel pretty confident this is a known issue
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43499
>>43497
You also changed IP addresses
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43501
43503
>>43482
Yeah, Gods aren't normally that thrilled to talk to mortals over matters that don't concern the fate of the world.
The Deus ex Machina aspect isn't always tasteful either, since it kind of stunt character development of morality.
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43502
43503
Can Tracy go back to the tower now?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43503
43504
1504585560249.jpg
>>43500
I can smell heresy though

>>43501
>The Deus ex Machina aspect isn't always tasteful either, since it kind of stunt character development of morality
What?

>>43502
Does she want to be ridden?
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43504
>>43503
Well, if you can just directly ask God what the right thing to do is, there isn't really the same internal conflict regarding the interpretation of faith.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43507
43509
So let me see if I got this right. Yes, I was drunk BTW.
Tracy flipped out and became a weird tentacle-fluff monster bent on consuming Trump, who with quick thinking called on Fae to GTFO. Tracy-cle maintained hot pursuit, and the group ended up weaving their way to Mile High stadium, where a small procession had gathered, trapping Tracy-cle in an ahem solemn and deliberate homage to Elway, the result of which that any lingering (((essence))) was purged in the hot ahem 'essence' of Football, first from Trump, then from Fae.
That about right?
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43508
43509
>>43506
>the sacrament procedure…
How many ranks did you put into knowledge religion? You can roll to know the answers to small things like that.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43509
43512
>>43507
>Essence of Fae
I think she only contributed saliva. It's an anti-septic saliva though

>>43508
I wanted something more creative than what I could think of

Be careful what you wish for
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43512
>>43509
That was most observably,... creative.
>saliva
An alchemical reaction then, formed of sapphire bullets of pure football.

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43514
43515
>>43511
Yeah, I was just looking for that on Wikipedia, but didn't find it..
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43515
43516
Eh.png
>>43514
>>43511
A Paladin is immune to disease and can remove disease, so why wouldn't a Paladin's mount have a lesser version of this?
Mrs. Sentry
ZMxSL
?
No.43516
43517
>>43515
Can Tracy use his class abilities too then?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43517
>>43516
That sounds like a case by case issue
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.43520
43521
>>43518
Then why did you say the prayer was heresy?

>>43519
So? It doesn't have any gameplay purpose. Just minimal background story purpose
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43521
43523 43524
>>43520
Let me have the Str and Int adjustments associated with the Paladin's Mount class while in pony form, and I won't complain.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43523
>>43521
>Just shitposting, can't delet
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43524
43526
>>43521
that's not an int adjustment, that's a score. I need to negotiate with GM for a higher int score on Fae. But we can redo the nature of Tracy's haxx
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43526
43527 43528
>>43524
I gotta ask though, what does Fae really need moar Int for? I just want Tracy to be able to cast Assassin spells, but I was mostly joking about that too.
>>43525
>*Lightning bolt incinerates Trumpaladin*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43527
>>43526
Mostly story reasons. But if she could have more skill points, that would be wonderful
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43528
>>43526
I mean, she's already got moar than enough int to be trained for two general purposes, and it seems you've already designated "priest" as one of them. She won't need very many Int-related skills either.
Just wondering.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43530
43531
*sweeps*
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43531
43535 43536
>>43530
He might want to imigrate if you really sale him on it.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43532
43533
What was that obscure creature that Tracy mentioned a while back? It wasn't a Kirin was it?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43533
>>43532
Not sure, what context?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43534
43535
>Kirin
You mean those Chinese unicorns? No, I don't remember bringing that up.