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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 129 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44046
44050
>>44043
*Humps leg*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44047
giphy.gif
>mfw meme deleted
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44048
>feeling generous for some reason
Hope I don't regret giving theses away in the morning.
http://www.mediafire.com/file/c3sicb3xwccrk9y/
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44049
44050
>>44043
*Straddles waist*
"You never needed that girly belt-thing in the first place, ~Flashy. You'll always be my big strong man.."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44050
44051
>>44046
>>44049
*angrily dry humps pony*
"I thought it was a gift... and it makes a big difference"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44051
44052
>>44050
"...Aww.. you don't need it that much. You're already plenty strong enough.."
*Pat's back of head*
"We'll make you a better one some day. A manly one."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44052
44053 44055
>>44051
*curls up into ball*
"This will be remembered"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44053
44054
>>44052
"Think you're still strong enough to carry your Waifu to bed..?"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44054
44057
>>44053
*angrily carries waifu to bed*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44055
44058
>>44052
Also, say thanks for the rare Tracy collection, ingrate.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44057
44060
>>44054
"There, there.."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44058
44059
>>44055
Thank's for the rare tracy collection
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44059
>>44058
You're welcome.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44060
44061
>>44057
"How often do you see me interact with Thez?"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44061
44062
>>44060
"Every so often."
*Is carried like a princess, blushing*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44062
44063
>>44061
*Carries pony through door and onto his bed*
"And how often am I with you or infernius?"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44063
44065
>>44062
"All the time, when you're not at the football field."
*Is carried into room*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44064
44066
*faggot goes to bed because 2:30*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44065
>>44063
"The same relationship doesn't exist"
*pulls covers over bed sheets down, and places pony under bed sheets*
*gets in bed under sheets*
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44066
44068
>>44064
>>44064
*rapes pony in her sleep*
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44067
>>44031
>>44034
No, you're looking at at least 2 weeks of persistence before that happens.
Mrs. Sentry
H+geP
?
No.44068
44081
>>44066
>rape
Like she wasn't waiting for it.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44069
44070
What season is it in game?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44070
44071 44075
>>44069
Fall-ish, I guess. I haven't made weather a significant element tey
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44071
>>44070
Just wanted to know for the sake of using the Orb Of Storms.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44072
44073
Can the glands from the Achaierais be used to make a potent insanity poison blade-oil, or does it only work when inhaled? I want to use some more variety of chemical warfare.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44073
44074
>>44072
... cuz the corpse being insane matters?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44074
44080
>>44073
Well, my original idea was to make smokebombs laced in the compounds, to cause a cloud of confusion in which she could escape, but I haven't read the mechanics for smokebombs yet.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44075
44077
>>44070
I'm still confused about the belt
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44077
44078
>>44075
I may have a solution on that.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44078
44079
image.png
>>44077
I'll take a solution
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44079
44081
>>44078
Is it the Final Solution?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44080
44082
>>44074
Actually, I can't find anything about smokebombs...
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44081
44083 44092
>>44068
*cums inside pony*

*cuddles pony*
*spoons pony*


>>44079
I just want the +3 on each damage roll and +2 on each attack roll, and before next combat
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44082
44084 44085
>>44080
"Smokestick"
Basic equipment
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44083
>>44081
You could just cast Bull's Strength for now. You should have enough level 2 spells.
Tracy has two potions if you want it.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44084
>>44082
Ah.. I suspected such.
So I guess It's not possible for me to apply magick dust to my bombs then...
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44085
44086 44087
>>44082
Is it a smokestick meta-mechanically, or a smokestick physically?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44086
44089
>>44085
Its an alchemically-treated (so, a potion) piece of wood.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44087
44089
>>44085
Don't you have an ever-smoking bottle?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44089
44090 44091
>>44086
Can it be modified in any way? Like, with magick dust?
I noticed that four of the Dust-related items were made with Assassin spells, so I wondered if custom smoke-bombs could be plausible, since smoke bombs themselves are really just clots of ash or fine powder.
For example, if you laced your bomb with Dust of Illusion, it could cause everyone caught in the blast to be glammered as if affected with Disguise self, so they'd all look like the user.
>Throw bomb
>Everyone looks like (you)
>Targets confused as fuck
>(You) slip away
>>44087
Trumpaladin has that.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44090
maxresdefault.jpg
>>44089
Pic is irrelevant, but still meant to post it.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44091
44093
>>44089
Dust of Tracelessness would do it
>mass illusion
Not with a smokebomb, but with a spell yes
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44092
>>44081
So you don't wanna kill jews?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44093
>>44091
>with a spell yes
What kind of spell do you need for that? I'm assuming Tracy doesn't get it.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44096
>>44095
I can only imagine how terrible a game would be with no homebrew at all
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44098
44099
>>44097
>teleports behind you
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44099
44100 44101 44103
>>44098
Did i get BTFOd?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44100
44104
>>44099
No, you were placed in a protective zip-lock bag
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44101
44104
>>44099
Nope, but I have the perfect meme to stop it
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44103
44104 44108
>>44099
Not yet
Thez produces Pickle-I'nis before he does something foolish like transforms back to normal inside her bracelet.

Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44104
44105 44106
>>44101
>>44101
>>44100
>>44103
Sorry i was gone so long i got my Truck stuck in 4 feet of mud and i couldn't get it unstuck untill 1 last night.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44105
44115
>>44104
Fucking RIP
Sorry to hear that
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44106
44115
>>44104
Holy shit.

Something similar happened to me in high school. I was going to take the girl I was dating to the fall dance........ Aaaaand I got my front wheel drive stuck in a wet ditch as I tried to pull out. Then her step-father tried to pull my vehicle out... And he got his truck stuck in the mud. It took like three hours before we finally got a neighbor to pull it out
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44108
44109
>>44103
"Thez thank you for keeping me safe. You most wonderful person me ever met."
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44109
>>44108
"So wonderful"
Sarcastically
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44111
44114
>deleting my questions
What is it this time?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44112
44119
>>44110
Legendary wolf, for starters.

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44114
44116 44117 44121
>>44111
>>44113
First off, I'm pissed off about the indian giving on the belt and will be for a while. Second, I wanted a monopoly on the boots so I can trade them later. Thirdly, as per usual with homebrew items, the item is unbalanced with an obscenely low crafting time. It should be ~20,000gp with haste as a requirement
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44115
>>44105
>>44107
I was exhausted by the time we finished pulling it out.
>>44106
Damn, i hope the dance went better than the drive.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44116
44118
>>44114
I'm waiting for Infernius to stop being a pickle
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44117
44120
>>44114
>I wanted a monopoly on the boots so I can trade them later.
That's kike logic, and you know it.
>the item is unbalanced with an obscenely low crafting time
The prerequisite is hunting down and killing a Legendary Wolf, which is a mini-quest in itself.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44118
>>44116
*boop is a minotaur again.*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44119
44120 44139
bearhunting.jpg
>>44112
Hmmmm... She'd have to find one first..
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44120
44123
>>44117
>Kike logic
No, it's good Capitalist logic

>The prerequisite is hunting down and killing a Legendary Wolf
Eh, I did not see that

>>44119
You'll find one at about the time I find my dragons
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44121
44122 44125
>>44114
I need the belt anon.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44122
44126 44132
>>44121
Yeah fuck you
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44123
44124 44128
>>44120
>Implying manipulating the free market through over-reaching use of granted authority is capitalistic logic
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44124
44128 44132
>>44123
And fuck you too
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44125
44127
>>44121
"Not necessarily. If Trump gibs the Ion stone, +2 (those don't stack anyway), you can still control the arms. And not get eated."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44126
>>44122
I need it more than you do.if you don't have it will one of your items eat you?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44127
44132 44133
>>44125
And you
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44128
44135
>>44124
>>44123
He has a point, kikes are capitalist you know.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44130
44133 44135
>>44129
"Me need to take a shower."
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44132
>>44127
>>44124
>>44122
We are your party brad, you know you're friends.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44133
44136
>>44130
Kek. U can fast forward through that if you want.
>>44127
Non-artifact magical benefits do not stack with each-other, sorry.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44134
>>44131
I know,i was making a point.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44135
44137
>>44130
"Thats fine"
>>44128
I SAW THAT
thats a violation the NAP, I think we all know how thats gonna end
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44136
>>44133
Since Infernuis has been blue balled for like 2 days. He has a fap while in the shower.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44137
44138
>>44135
Not all capitalist are kikes. But the capitalist system has been corrupted by satanic kikes.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44138
44140 44141
>>44137
Fine...
This is wha Torc needs help with
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Stone_Horse
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44139
trace.jpg
>>44119
I did want a reason to explore the forest beyond that grove.
Tracy places a few mundane items in her bag, and leaves to explore the forest.
Not doing anything huge that'll get in the way of plot advancement, but still want to explore the map later when she gets the chance. Say she's scouting out the area around the grove, so she can explore it later.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44140
>>44138
Seems legit.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44141
44142
>>44138
Good idea.
I wonder if it could be shrunken into a figurine, like Infernius's Utachit, or an Obsidian Steed.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44142
44143
>>44141
no spoilers Or the party could get around to exploring the temple, now that they have superior gnomish engineering.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44143
44144
>>44142
Will we be able to do that this weekend?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.44144
44145 44146
>>44143
Certainly. Elements of it can begin anytime there's sufficient players on/available
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44145
>>44144
"Mooooooo."
*walks out of bathhaus*

Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44146
44147
>>44144
I guess Tracy wait to go hunting/exploring then.
I'm stoked for a dungeon crawl this weekend.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44147
44148 44149
1513280929985.png
>>44146
>Tfw Ive been reduced to phone posting because my pc won't turn on.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44148
44152
>>44147
F
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44149
44151 44152
>>44147
>tfw I've been mobile posting for months, but can't afford to fix my desktop because I spent all my bitcoins on McNukes©™
JK, it's just jacked up too far to fix it so I need to run an ethernet cable to it. I'm just too lazy to do it
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44150
44153 44154
Did the main board get raided recently?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44151
44153
>>44149
Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, Anon.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44152
>>44149
>>44148
>tablet posting
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44153
44155 44156
>>44150
What do you mean?
>>44151
I'd have to move my desk and then drill a hole through a wall and I don't feel like doing it
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44154
44155
>>44150
When?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44155
>>44154
>>44153
Wondering why the captcha came on.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.44156
1513197449851.png
>>44153
Live up to you're scottish heritage, Dont be lazy m8
>captcha
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.44157
44158 44159 44160 44161
First off, how the actual fuck does infernius have a +21 Strength score starting???? Yes, I know there's a half-orc racial bonus, but where the hell does the +19 on the strength score come from? The highest scores anyone else has for anything are Trumpaladin's +16 charisma, Torcuil's +16 Intelligence, and Tracy's +16 dexterity, but Infernius even has a +16 on Charisma besides the obscene strength, as well as a very high constitution score, and a 14 wisdom.

With a +5 girdle of strength - those don't even exist in the 3.5 edition - he's able to round off an odd-numbered strength score, and stack that with a +12 - fucking +12! - epic item for a total strength of 38, or ability modifier of +14. Now I thought enchantment bonuses didn't stack? That's a figure that is almost three times as high as trumpaladin's even with a belt and with an ion stone stacked. If Trumapaladin only has a +2 ion stone, then Infernius's strength bonus is one fifth of Infernius's

A +14 strength bonus can be multiplied by 1.5 on a damage roll for +21 on damage per role. That's +63 across three attacks in a round, which combined with a statistical average of 5.5 from a 1d10 bastard sword is 78.5 if all three attacks land, plus fire damage is 1d3 on each hit for 83 total damage if all three attacks land. What I wanted for Trumpaladin, the equivalent of 20 strength - less than Infernius has without any enhancements at all - would place him at 52 damage if all four attacks landed. Equal to a cauchemar. And I'm playing as a heavy fighting class, not a magic casting class like Infernius. With no enchantments to Trumpaladin, he has 40 damage if all four attacks land. Less than half of Infernius's. Even if Fae is added in, it's still only 78.5, less than Infernius's. That's more than Trump and Tracy combined. And they have no ability to do the vast range of spells.

But that's not considering the change to attack rolls. Even though he's playing a magical class, and has also multiclassed into wilder, he has a higher Combined base attack than Trumpaladin, who does not have le ebin magic because he's a heavy fighter class. With a +12+7+2 base attack added to +14 strength that's +26+21+16 not even counting the magic sword bonus which I don't know the number of. Trumpaladin, even with Le ebin magic sword, and with the 20 strength I wanted and asked for, and with a heavy fighter class, can just barely equal that with +27+22+17+12 which again if all four attacks land would only deliver 52 damage with the strength I requested - which was denied - compared to Infernius's 83 or 78 without fire. But with only 14 or 20 strength, and because Infernius definitely has a magic sword, it's an even lower combined attack bonus.

>Enchantment bonuses don't stack
And Clerics are supposed to chose and prepare their spells at the beginning of the day. And players who are multi-classing are supposed to take experience penalties. And Sorcerers are supposed to have a set and limited set of spells to draw from, and a limited number of times they can teleport a day. And Thez apparently isn't supposed to airwalk anymore. AND PALADIN'S MOUNTS ARE SUPPOSED TO APPEAR IMMEDIATELY NEXT TO THE PALADIN THE TURN AFTER THEY ARE SUMMONED.

I did not ask for le ebin finger of death mask like Tracy's faggot nor did I receive le ebin arms, nor can my character teleport infinitely like Torcuil's. I asked for a small and I believe reasonable buff to a small number of statistics. I know I am not as likeable as Infernius whether in regards to either the character or to my general behavior. I know I cannot expect to be treated equally. I am not asking for equality. But why is the favoritism this gross and extreme?