So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.
If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 128 files omitted.
I actually rather like telling the story; it took alot of creativity over a long timeframe to develop and flesh out the story and I'm quite pleased with the development and transition of it all, but yeah the only way she'd tell it is if she was pissed.
*leaves several containers of pure, flouride-free grain alcohol next to Thez*
*leaves several six packs of Budweiser beer next to Thez, with Broncos Koozies*
*For good measure, leaves two bottles of Jack Daniels next to Thez*
>>44492>hoping/intending to get to thatDo you mean before the weekend, or will it just be the first step of the next session?
>>44498I meant to say "tonight", for exactly the expressed reason (smooth transition into murdering shit)
No murder and shit tonight. I'm in town about to see a movie with a friend
>Thez is pregnant
Oh yeah, I forgot about that
But please refrain Tracy's faggot from forcibly advancing the plot or asking for more gibs
>>44502She's only a couple months so far
>refrainOh, cuz there haven't been a dozen or so times where I've come back and found the players way the fuck off in left field cuz lulz?
Greetings Overboard!
Cuz y?
>>44505I always wondered why this keeps getting to the top for some reason.
>>44504Those aren't plot related
>>44507They're character-development related though.
>>44507I still gotta respond to the shit Xp
>>44508That's my point. I don't have to worry about an army of vampires having a door to attack the port of missing out on xp while I'm driving, when those events occur or not
>>44510>missing out on xpYou won't miss out on XP.
Besides personally, violently killing things isn't the only way to get XP; you can get it through roleplaying. XP hasn't been so tediously counted in this campaign anyway, so don't sweat over your kill-count.
>missing outEven if it were counted that way, I'm sure there's more than enough skeletons to go around regardless of when you can attend.
I guess I could just ban Tracy's faggot after the fact if necessary
>>44500Just to get a clear visual, is the temple shaped just like the Tower from the outside?
>>44513No. Its an octahedron, the water-line is right at the equator
>>44496Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee no give addy fetal alcohol syndrome!!!!!
>>44515Interesting.
As for physcal markings, where do the doors roughly appear to be located?
>>44518Btw, don't bast the doors open, blast a hole in the walls.
I guess I'll have Tracy size-up the place, and listen to see where there seems to be the most hollow space behind the walls.
>>44518There don't appear to be
any doors, its clean and precisely cut (by appearance) glass.
>>44519That,... might actually work
How? By banging the surface with a hammer and listing for the area the vibrations are the quickest and highest pitch?
>>44521
I thought trolling you about having insane corpses was sufficient.
ahem
Try it, see what happens
>>44524It's not always about killing.
>>44524*empties a chikun gland into a beaker and prepares potion with by distilling poison compounds, using strong alcohol as a medium (to preserve and enhance strength)*
*summons fiendish dire rat*
*pricks with insanity-needle*
*stands back*
>>44525I'll admit that conceptually its sound, but is limited in its scope/efficacy.
>>44526Dire rats are already insane
>>44527*goes into woods*
*catches back bunny or whateverthefuck*
*resumes animal testing*
>limited in its scope/efficacy.Yeah.. it takes time, and privacy to enjoy properly.
>tfw >rape-dungeon is kill >>44528Actually, she goes and catches several.
>>44528Its not kill, its just 'less organized'.
>catches bunnies to see if insanity serum will work>cuz the bunnies won't be freaked the fuck out by being captured by crazy hoers While Tracy is busy testing cosmetics, Trumpaladin summons the generals and Slovenia to do the aforementioned testing of the pyramid structure by shooting it with trebuchet and cannon, giving the adorable artillery mate hugs at appropriate intervals
>>44531Wouldn't it be better to tap it up close and listen though?
Also, do I roll Listen or Search to hear where the hollow cavities are?
>>44532There's plenty of pirate corpses, and there's still the SJWs in the quarantine.
>>44531Conventional means don't seem effective. The trebuchet, cannons, etc. don't seem to generate enough force to cause damage to the pyramid.
>>44533That depends, are you doing this while the trebuchet and cannons are doing their thing? :3
>>44535>are you doing this while the trebuchet and cannons are doing their thing?She'd wait for them to stop first.
>>44536In the mean time, she's testing her juice on the SJWs, in various mediums.
>>44534>cause damageNever the intent. Now where on the structure is the vibration highest pitched?
>>44532>"sweetie, could you be a dear and redirect some of the 24 pirates we killed on the airship and ask them questions? Use the stack of calm emotions scrolls if necessary">>44533Artillery us more awesone
>>44538>inb4 the party starts printing calm emotions scrolls like toilet paperWhat is the method of sound detection? Is someone standing next to the pyramid with a gauge?
>>44538>Artillery us more awesomeYou do the Listen checks then.
>>44541also, There's a +15 modifier to the DC to Listen through walls, and +1 for every 10 ft of distance.
I think it'd be better to be up close.
>>44540I had him print out some scrolls a long time ago for use on Korak's pirates. One was used of Felicia.
>how to listenI'm sure the sound is loud. Now if only I had something like a magic beast with many ranks in "listen," who has a racial bonus on listen checks. Surely she could stand on the end of pier next to the pyramid and listen. Possibke even fly near, or get near enough to listen by stating next to the surface but far enough away to not get shot. Oh wait
>>44542>>44543I was
about to say "shitposting aside", but w/e.
While the method of detection is not the best, Tracy is able to determine that while the trebuchet can't damage the surface of the pyramid, there is decidedly more resonance the further down it is struck, with the most resonance along the water-line.
>>44544Tracy continues to tap all around the Temple, so the enemy doesn't know where the party has decided to enter.
>>44546Whoever. Tracy seems actively interested in finding the spot, as is Fae. So they both do. The interior of the pyramid is indeterminable, but the clear choice for an entry point would be along the perimeter that is adjacent to the water-line
>>44517Relax, she's got a regeneration stone
>>44496"The 'shine,... I'm assuming its 'shine,... the 'shine is tasty."
>>44551Which one are you?
>>44551Can I get 38 strength and the cleric spell list?
>>44554If you're Torcuil, then yes.
>>44556No because your not the tank.
>>44559The red one who has a neglected puppy?
>>44558>>44558Yes I am and give up your damned spells if that's your logic
>>44562That makes no sense. Its my class feature.
>>44560Oh shit, i feed and hug my pupper.
>>44564>>44563These, he shouldn't have too
>>44564And a paladin's mount is mine
>>44563He's asking for a familiar or paladin's mount. I'm explaining why
>>44566Dipshit I'm explaining why it's imbalanced for him to have a mount as well. Read
>>44566Dipshit I'm explaining why it's imbalanced for him to have a mount as well. Read
>>44568>>44554He asked for a cat calm down
>>44568He asked to buy a pet cat. It'd cost like 10-15 gp. Chill.
Only wizards get familiars anyway.
>>44564>>44566Listen you inbred ass wipes. He was asking for a paladin's mount, I said "then can I have 38 strength and cleric spells," he said "no you are not the tank" and so I said "then {you) give up powers"
>>44572>He was asking for a paladin's mountNo he wasn't. He said "pet cat".
How would you quantify a "paladin's mount" for a non-paladin?
>>44572But he literally said "Can i go get a pet cat?" Nothing about a mount in there
>>44573>>44574I interpreted it as meaning "dire tiger"
>>44559Y no flag?
>>44572A paladin's mount? I missed the inference
Normally when you give someone a "warning", you explain to them what your problem is.
Alright. So Trump is working with a crew - including Tracy - who have collectively determined a relative 'starting' point for breaking into the pyramid. Thez is helping herself to booz, Infernius appears to be romanticizing about having a cat THERE ARE NO KITTENS echoes in his head, while Torcuil is uh,....
>>44580I've done it before, depends on the situation I guess
>>44583Technically it was a shitpost, but it was also a reminder to not be all digitally-fixated. I can't stand it when ppl want to interact, only to come over and socialize
while they monitor their facebook n shit >>44582Can Tracy prepare her insanity poison/smokebombs?
>>44585After feeding her birds, Tracy goes up to the ship to tell Torc to bring the ship down closer to the docks to crack the temple open.
>>44586Insanity poison can be done soon but not yet. Insanity aerosol less so
Can we not advance things too far right now? I'm busy and so is Infernius
>>44589We're only preparing shit so we won't have to spend hours "getting ready" in session.
Relax, nothing important will happen to advance the plot while your gone.
Does the party have a plan for how they're going to make the crawl?
>>44591Does this party ever have a plan?
>>44592Whsat I meant was "what does everybody intend to do once we crack this thing open?"
It's obvious that stealth would be compromised, but having everybody charge in so they can all die at once in a trap wouldn't be the best either.
Ban Tracy's faggot so I have enough time to at least get home and to a computer. That's my plan
>>44594Not a good plan
>>44593Given that cannons are required to enter, one can consider the element of surprise moot. The actual 'cracking of the egg' can occur at anytime, and would only amount to a few lines of descriptive text.
Fine. Ban everyone. It can wait until tomorrow
>>44584My friend invited me over to play video games, then played single player most of the time without offering to let me play, I feel your pain>>44591>>44592I pretty much just shitpost until something good happens