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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 128 files omitted.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44495
I actually rather like telling the story; it took alot of creativity over a long timeframe to develop and flesh out the story and I'm quite pleased with the development and transition of it all, but yeah the only way she'd tell it is if she was pissed.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44496
44497 44499 44517 44552
*leaves several containers of pure, flouride-free grain alcohol next to Thez*

*leaves several six packs of Budweiser beer next to Thez, with Broncos Koozies*

*For good measure, leaves two bottles of Jack Daniels next to Thez*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44497
>>44496
>shifting sounds as these objects are innocuously pushed toward her. Thez glares at GM. "Just what are you getting me into here?"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44498
44500
>>44492
>hoping/intending to get to that
Do you mean before the weekend, or will it just be the first step of the next session?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44499
>>44496

>fetal alcohol syndrome

*shoots self for being a faggot*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44500
44501 44513
>>44498
I meant to say "tonight", for exactly the expressed reason (smooth transition into murdering shit)
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44501
e9a.png
>>44500
>smooth transition into murdering shit

Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44502
44504
No murder and shit tonight. I'm in town about to see a movie with a friend

>Thez is pregnant
Oh yeah, I forgot about that

But please refrain Tracy's faggot from forcibly advancing the plot or asking for more gibs
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44504
44507
>>44502
She's only a couple months so far
>refrain
Oh, cuz there haven't been a dozen or so times where I've come back and found the players way the fuck off in left field cuz lulz?

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44505
44506
Greetings Overboard!
Cuz y?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44506
>>44505
I always wondered why this keeps getting to the top for some reason.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44507
44508 44509
image.jpeg
>>44504
Those aren't plot related
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44508
44510
>>44507
They're character-development related though.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44509
>>44507
I still gotta respond to the shit Xp
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44510
44511
>>44508
That's my point. I don't have to worry about an army of vampires having a door to attack the port of missing out on xp while I'm driving, when those events occur or not
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44511
>>44510
>missing out on xp
You won't miss out on XP.
Besides personally, violently killing things isn't the only way to get XP; you can get it through roleplaying. XP hasn't been so tediously counted in this campaign anyway, so don't sweat over your kill-count.
>missing out
Even if it were counted that way, I'm sure there's more than enough skeletons to go around regardless of when you can attend.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44512
44514
image.png
I guess I could just ban Tracy's faggot after the fact if necessary
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44513
44515
>>44500
Just to get a clear visual, is the temple shaped just like the Tower from the outside?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44514
>>44512
10/10 image, saved
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44515
44516 44518
octa.png
>>44513
No. Its an octahedron, the water-line is right at the equator
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44516
>>44515
Hey, its a d8
Anonymous
nS3pQ
?
No.44517
44552
>>44496
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee no give addy fetal alcohol syndrome!!!!!
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44518
44519 44520
>>44515
Interesting.
As for physcal markings, where do the doors roughly appear to be located?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44519
44520
>>44518
Btw, don't bast the doors open, blast a hole in the walls.

I guess I'll have Tracy size-up the place, and listen to see where there seems to be the most hollow space behind the walls.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44520
>>44518
There don't appear to be any doors, its clean and precisely cut (by appearance) glass.
>>44519
That,... might actually work
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44522
44523
How? By banging the surface with a hammer and listing for the area the vibrations are the quickest and highest pitch?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44523
>>44522
Pretty much.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44524
44525 44526
>>44521
I thought trolling you about having insane corpses was sufficient.
ahem
Try it, see what happens
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44525
44527
demotivation___neutral_evil_by_quicksilver22.jpg
>>44524
It's not always about killing.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44526
44527
740676__safe_artist-colon-rainbow-dash-dosh_oc_oc only_oc-colon-tracy cage_broom_clothes_halloween_night_stockings_witch.png
>>44524
*empties a chikun gland into a beaker and prepares potion with by distilling poison compounds, using strong alcohol as a medium (to preserve and enhance strength)*
*summons fiendish dire rat*
*pricks with insanity-needle*
*stands back*
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44527
44528
>>44525
I'll admit that conceptually its sound, but is limited in its scope/efficacy.
>>44526
Dire rats are already insane
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44528
44529 44530
>>44527
*goes into woods*
*catches back bunny or whateverthefuck*
*resumes animal testing*
>limited in its scope/efficacy.
Yeah.. it takes time, and privacy to enjoy properly.
>tfw >rape-dungeon is kill
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44529
>>44528
Actually, she goes and catches several.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44530
44532
>>44528
Its not kill, its just 'less organized'.
>catches bunnies to see if insanity serum will work
>cuz the bunnies won't be freaked the fuck out by being captured by crazy hoers
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44531
44533 44534
While Tracy is busy testing cosmetics, Trumpaladin summons the generals and Slovenia to do the aforementioned testing of the pyramid structure by shooting it with trebuchet and cannon, giving the adorable artillery mate hugs at appropriate intervals
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44532
44534 44538
>>44530
>tfw no sentient prisoners to test muh chemical weapons on
Too bad...
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44533
44535 44538
>>44531
Wouldn't it be better to tap it up close and listen though?

Also, do I roll Listen or Search to hear where the hollow cavities are?
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44534
44538
>>44532
There's plenty of pirate corpses, and there's still the SJWs in the quarantine.
>>44531
Conventional means don't seem effective. The trebuchet, cannons, etc. don't seem to generate enough force to cause damage to the pyramid.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44535
44536
>>44533
That depends, are you doing this while the trebuchet and cannons are doing their thing? :3
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44536
44537
>>44535
>are you doing this while the trebuchet and cannons are doing their thing?
She'd wait for them to stop first.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44537
>>44536
In the mean time, she's testing her juice on the SJWs, in various mediums.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44538
44539 44540 44541
>>44534
>cause damage
Never the intent. Now where on the structure is the vibration highest pitched?

>>44532
>"sweetie, could you be a dear and redirect some of the 24 pirates we killed on the airship and ask them questions? Use the stack of calm emotions scrolls if necessary"

>>44533
Artillery us more awesone
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44539
44548
>>44538
>'Won't they all just run away as soon as they're resurrected?'
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44540
44543
>>44538
>inb4 the party starts printing calm emotions scrolls like toilet paper
What is the method of sound detection? Is someone standing next to the pyramid with a gauge?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44541
44542
>>44538
>Artillery us more awesome
You do the Listen checks then.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44542
44544
>>44541
also, There's a +15 modifier to the DC to Listen through walls, and +1 for every 10 ft of distance.
I think it'd be better to be up close.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44543
44544
>>44540
I had him print out some scrolls a long time ago for use on Korak's pirates. One was used of Felicia.

>how to listen
I'm sure the sound is loud. Now if only I had something like a magic beast with many ranks in "listen," who has a racial bonus on listen checks. Surely she could stand on the end of pier next to the pyramid and listen. Possibke even fly near, or get near enough to listen by stating next to the surface but far enough away to not get shot. Oh wait
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44544
44545 44546
>>44542
>>44543
I was about to say "shitposting aside", but w/e.
While the method of detection is not the best, Tracy is able to determine that while the trebuchet can't damage the surface of the pyramid, there is decidedly more resonance the further down it is struck, with the most resonance along the water-line.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44545
>>44544
Tracy continues to tap all around the Temple, so the enemy doesn't know where the party has decided to enter.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44546
44547 44548
>>44544
>Tracy
*Fae
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44547
44551
>>44546
Whoever. Tracy seems actively interested in finding the spot, as is Fae. So they both do. The interior of the pyramid is indeterminable, but the clear choice for an entry point would be along the perimeter that is adjacent to the water-line
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44548
44549
>>44546
>>44539
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44549
44550
>>44548
>"I'm a bit busy at the moment, let me help later"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44550
>>44549
*straddles leg*
"Busy with what?"
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44551
44552 44556
>>44547
Can i go get a pet cat?
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44552
44553 44554
>>44517
Relax, she's got a regeneration stone
>>44496
"The 'shine,... I'm assuming its 'shine,... the 'shine is tasty."
>>44551
Which one are you?
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44553
>>44552

Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44554
44557 44570
1512366526244.jpg
>>44552

Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44555
Boop
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44556
44558
>>44551
Can I get 38 strength and the cleric spell list?
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44557
44559 44561
>>44554
If you're Torcuil, then yes.
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44558
44562
>>44556
No because your not the tank.
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44559
44560 44561 44577
>>44557
The red one..
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44560
44565
>>44559
The red one who has a neglected puppy?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44561
>>44557
That ain't me you faggot
>>44559
Hi Cleric
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44562
44563 44564
>>44558
>>44558
Yes I am and give up your damned spells if that's your logic
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44563
44566 44567
>>44562
That makes no sense. Its my class feature.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44564
44566 44567 44572
>>44562
Why should he?
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44565
>>44560
Oh shit, i feed and hug my pupper.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44566
44568 44569 44572
>>44564
>>44563
These, he shouldn't have too
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44567
>>44564
And a paladin's mount is mine

>>44563
He's asking for a familiar or paladin's mount. I'm explaining why
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44568
44570 44571
>>44566
Dipshit I'm explaining why it's imbalanced for him to have a mount as well. Read
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44569
>>44566
Dipshit I'm explaining why it's imbalanced for him to have a mount as well. Read
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44570
>>44568
>>44554
He asked for a cat calm down
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44571
>>44568
He asked to buy a pet cat. It'd cost like 10-15 gp. Chill.
Only wizards get familiars anyway.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44572
44573 44574 44577
>>44564
>>44566
Listen you inbred ass wipes. He was asking for a paladin's mount, I said "then can I have 38 strength and cleric spells," he said "no you are not the tank" and so I said "then {you) give up powers"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44573
44575
>>44572
>He was asking for a paladin's mount
No he wasn't. He said "pet cat".
How would you quantify a "paladin's mount" for a non-paladin?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44574
44575
>>44572
But he literally said "Can i go get a pet cat?" Nothing about a mount in there
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44575
44578 44579
>>44573
>>44574
I interpreted it as meaning "dire tiger"
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44577
44579
>>44559
Y no flag?
>>44572
A paladin's mount? I missed the inference

Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44578
>>44575
Why tho?
Anonymous
aTMVm
?
No.44579
44580
>>44577
At my friends house.
>>44575
No.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44580
44583
>>44579
>gameposting when a guest
For shame
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44581
1191169__safe_artist-colon-captainpudgemuffin_pinkie pie_annoyed_behaving like a cat_chest fluff_cute_diapinkes_floppy ears_looking at you_question mar.png
Normally when you give someone a "warning", you explain to them what your problem is.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44582
44585 44586 44598
Alright. So Trump is working with a crew - including Tracy - who have collectively determined a relative 'starting' point for breaking into the pyramid. Thez is helping herself to booz, Infernius appears to be romanticizing about having a cat THERE ARE NO KITTENS echoes in his head, while Torcuil is uh,....
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44583
44584
>>44580
I've done it before, depends on the situation I guess
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44584
44597
>>44583
Technically it was a shitpost, but it was also a reminder to not be all digitally-fixated. I can't stand it when ppl want to interact, only to come over and socialize while they monitor their facebook n shit
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44585
44587
>>44582
Waking up in the airship
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44586
44588
>>44582
Can Tracy prepare her insanity poison/smokebombs?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44587
>>44585
After feeding her birds, Tracy goes up to the ship to tell Torc to bring the ship down closer to the docks to crack the temple open.
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44588
>>44586
Insanity poison can be done soon but not yet. Insanity aerosol less so
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44589
44590
Can we not advance things too far right now? I'm busy and so is Infernius
Anonymous
5CQOG
?
No.44590
>>44589
We're only preparing shit so we won't have to spend hours "getting ready" in session.
Relax, nothing important will happen to advance the plot while your gone.
Anonymous
5CQOG
?
No.44591
44592 44597
Does the party have a plan for how they're going to make the crawl?
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44592
44593 44597
>>44591
Does this party ever have a plan?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.44593
44595
>>44592
Whsat I meant was "what does everybody intend to do once we crack this thing open?"
It's obvious that stealth would be compromised, but having everybody charge in so they can all die at once in a trap wouldn't be the best either.
Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44594
44595
Ban Tracy's faggot so I have enough time to at least get home and to a computer. That's my plan
Anonymous
wchUD
?
No.44595
>>44594
Not a good plan
>>44593
Given that cannons are required to enter, one can consider the element of surprise moot. The actual 'cracking of the egg' can occur at anytime, and would only amount to a few lines of descriptive text.

Anonymous
H9FhC
?
No.44596
44599
Fine. Ban everyone. It can wait until tomorrow
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.44597
44599
>>44584
My friend invited me over to play video games, then played single player most of the time without offering to let me play, I feel your pain
>>44591
>>44592
I pretty much just shitpost until something good happens