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9710728-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-denver-broncos-1-850x560.jpg
John Elway's Crazy Nuts
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43413
43418
So Tracy has been soaked in the blessings of pure Elway, on his hallowed ground of Mile High. Some weird tentacular thing came out of herdon't even look at me, this was pure player RP, but it was exquisite, so who am I to argue? and is dissolving into the turf, while Trump and Fae and several of the Generals eagerly anticipate the result of their careful and brilliant maneuver.

If you're just joining us, I can simplify these threads really simply: Its a text-based RPG based loosely on D&D 3.5ed, except there's a shitposter in place of the computer. Feel free to interact, as you will. whether for conversation/bantz ("Random passerby says: You're a faggot.") or whatever.
1286 replies and 126 files omitted.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43637
43638 43639
>>43632
Its strangely satisfying to watch that happen
>>43633
Welcome to Mixed Nuts. You'll need to do better than rolling dice and declaring a threshold of outcome. Memes would be a good place to start.
v7YeL
?
No.43638
43640 43641 43643
[1d100 = 12]
>>43636
Anon.
>>43637
Come on man. I rolled good.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43639
>>43637
To watch the Dev Team nerf him within like 7 minutes? It's fun for me to watch
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43640
>>43638
Touche to both
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43641
43642
1506299284444.jpg
>>43638
>>43633
>>43629

sQZjW
?
No.43642
[20d1 = 20]
>>43641
Does this help?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43643
43644 43646
>>43638
You rolled good once, yes; you don't roll for other players however.
The issue as it stands is that there were several rolls that went into determining A. whether Thez was at a necessary position of ovulation, whether or not both Trump and Infernius were opportunely positioned at time of ejaculation, the semen its self got a dexterity check, and the egg its self got a series of saving-throws. Its not a "heads its Trump, tails its Infernius" sort of situation.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43644
43645
>>43643
Dice rolls change the course of fate,anon.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43645
43647 43648
>>43644
Yes, they don't undo it. If anon wants to play a high-level spell-caster capable of casting a wish spell just to throw salt at Infernius, that could be arranged
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43646
43649
>>43643
>All this shit using hidden dice rolls and modifiers and convoluted secret rules like how Tracy's faggot used to play her character
What? Just make a dice roll based upon the number of times the two had unprotected sex with her during the time window she would have gotten pregnant, and then a separate like 1d7 to determine if the egg miscarries after she discovers she's pregnant
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43647
43652 43657
>>43645
>If anon wants to play a high-level spell-caster capable of casting a wish spell just to throw salt at Infernius
How bout I throw salt at Trump?
Can wish make sure it's Infernius' child?
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43648
43651
>>43645
Are you the guy telling the story? How would i make a character?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43649
43650 43652
>>43646
My point is, I was doing these dice rolls as the play occurred. I can tell you exactly when it happened, it was when Thez made the "Fucking in Tents" joke.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43650
43652 43654
>>43649
I wish Infernuis was never born.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43651
43653 43654
>>43648
You can be as detailed and specific as you want, but you will need to have an idea of a preferred race, and generally an inclination of a class, to be specified later. All you have to do after that is wake up in a glassy room no spoilers with a chest at the base of a bed.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43652
43654
Booped anon filly.jpg
>>43649
Eh, I Just wanted to see the dice roll and rules and such

>>43650
That' kind of mean though

>>43647
Is that the game you want to play?
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43653
43654 43655
>>43651
I guess i will be a griffon mage.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43654
43656
>>43650
>inb4 It's a wonderful life type sequence
Fuck you
>>43652
>inb4 I get banned for helping a man minotaur have a child with his wife and not have a child with some random guy
>>43651
>glassy room
Ahhh memories
>>43653
>(((griffon)))
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43655
43658
>>43653
Alright. The room is well lit, and aside from the chest (also made out of that strange glass) there's a single door.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43656
>>43654
>Random guy
The guy his wife forced to have sex with her. And not random
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43657
>>43647
Wish could technically do anything, but trying to Wish for greater effects may cause the spell to pervert your wish into something technically literal, but undesirable.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43658
43659 43660 43661 43667
>>43655
I wish that time will rewrite itself so that thez falls in love with Trump instead of Infernuis ,and tracy fell in love with torc.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43659
43664 43665
>>43658
DONT CURSE ME WITH THAT SHIT
Also, have fun casting a level 9 spell as a lvl 1 character
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43660
image.jpeg
>>43658

Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43661
43662 43663
>>43658
>meta this hard
Your character has no knowledge of Thez or Infernius, Tracy or Torcuil.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43662
43669
>>43661
Mr. Snek is gonna grapple the shit outta this bitch if he keeps it up.

Torc gets tired of checking out his ship and heads bakk to the tower
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43663
43666 43668
>>43661
But he does. Whats meta?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43664
>>43659
Reeeee! be nicer to my .... Nevermind
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43665
43668
>>43659
>level 9 spell
Try a 600 Spellcraft DC Ritual.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43666
43670
>>43663
Meta-gaming. Using player (henceforth referred to as the character's faggot) knowledge unknown to the character in a character's decision-making process.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43667
1503195925119-2.png
>>43658
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43668
43672 43677
>>43665
But on Wiz/Sor spell list its under lvl9
>>43663
Did you just join to make chaos?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43669
43671
>>43662
Don't worry, I'll pair you off with a nice Mod God. TRACY ON THE OTHER HAND WILL RECEIVE A GENUINELY TRUE EVIL MOD GOD

Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43670
43671
>>43666
Okay how do i learn things?
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43671
>>43669
Yay
>>43670
Play of the game
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43672
43673
>>43668
>on Wiz/Sor spell list its under lvl9
If you're referring to Wish, it doesn't have that magnitude of time control.
You're thinking of at least a years worth of rewritten history just for starters.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43673
43674 43675
>>43672
Thez and Trump didn't fuck years ago...
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43674
43676
>>43673
*sad*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43675
43678 43681
>>43673
Yeah, but he'd also want time to create the circumstances to make alternate characters fall in love.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43676
43681 43688
>>43674
I would confort infernius, but I don't think he would appriciate Torc getting that close
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43677
43678 43681 43683
>>43668
Yes pretty much.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43678
43679
>>43675
Oh that
>implying GM will let him do it
>>43677
Oh I can't wait for Torc to encounter your character
LAy0j
?
No.43679
43680
[1d100 = 18]
>>43678
> GM will let him do it
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43680
>>43679
T-that's....
Thats not how it works
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43681
43682 43690
>>43675
How long does it take to fall in love? It didn't take Infernius long to go after Thez?

>>43676
*hugs meme sorcerer*

"I love you, even if I do like roads"

>>43677
Hello Yak Lee
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43682
>>43681
Yak lee?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43683
43684 43685 43690 43694
>>43677
Well Gryphanon, the most chaotic thing anyone's ever done so far in your position was to break the chest at the base of the bed. Technically it shouldn't have worked, but it was funny so I let it happen. The only other option is to interact with the door.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43684
>>43683
Who was that? Tracy?
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43685
43687
>>43683
I turn the chest upside down then i leave.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43686
large (3).png
>We have a Gryphon
Mazel Tov!
V3o0K
?
No.43687
43689 43690
[1d20 = 1]
>>43685
As you open the door, there is an explosion
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43688
43690
>>43676
pickle torc?
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43689
>>43687
fucking kek!
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43690
43692 43696
>>43683
Remember Torc is in the tower, I wanna encounter this fag
>>43687
>1
>>43681
"Uh thanks me too?"
>>43688
NO
V3o0K
?
No.43691
43695
[2d4+18 = 25]
Its not a lethal explosion, but it does extra damage cuz 1.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43692
43695
1515537287169.gif
>>43690
Ill fuck you up m9
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43693
43697 43701
Alright. You find yourself in a hallway, all made of that darkened glass that the previous room was made of, all except a well-charred metal sign saying "Please don't fire-trap the rooms".
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43694
43700
>>43683
Wait... Was that foot-locker made of the same material the tower was?

Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43695
43698 43700
>>43691
"Another explosion? Now what the hell is going on? Come on Mr. Snek"
Torc runs to the explosion
>>43692
>lvl 1 virgin giffon mage
Vs
>lvl 17 chaf meme wizard
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43696
43699 43701
>>43690
>>43690
>Tries to think of things to say to impress an ancap
"I've always wanted the freedom to be a Warlord"
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43697
43700 43701
>>43693
I walk down the hall.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43698
43701 43704 43744
>>43695
>lvl difference
That's exactly why it'd be gay if you killed him as soon as he spawned.
Get creative and see where it goes.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43699
43708
>>43696
A-are you flirting with Torc?
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43700
43702 43704 43707 43717
>>43694
Technically, but the idea was hilarious
>>43695
Who said level 1?
>>43697
The hallway on one side has a series of doors, including the one you came from. On the far ends of the hall on the opposite wall are doors that are also closed.
Anonymous
DOV7+
?
No.43701
43703 43704 43708 43709
>>43693
>>43696
>>43697
>>43698
why does everyone and everthing hate infernuis?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43702
43708
>>43700
... Do I still have those fragments?
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43703
>>43701
I don't hate him. Neither does Tracy, or at least not any more than she hates everything.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43704
43705
>>43698
I ain't killing him quite yet
>>43700
>who said level 1
You scare me GM
>>43701
I don't
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43705
43706
>>43704
Taylor started at lvl 10.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43706
>>43705
>implying he can beat my memes and snek
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43707
43715
>>43700
I sense magic on the doors and blow up the traps.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43708
43711
>>43702
Stahp

>>43699
"You are pretty dazzling sometimes. The way you killed that clown with no sense of fashion. Your crafting, your memes..."

>>43701
"I like you Infernius. I like you most of all. Except I guess for Fae, but I really like you"
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43709
43710 43711 43714
>>43701
Because fuck you're happiness.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43710
>>43709
Reeee! Be nice to my... Coworker
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43711
43713 43716
>>43708
>running
>>43709
Fuck you too
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43713
43717 43756
>>43711
"Wait! Don't leave my meme sorcerer! We could start a private security company together!"
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43714
a424830de6b4cdf1a0f28c678fd0b2d7.jpg
>>43709

Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43715
43719
hallway.png
>>43707
Done. The doors are a little smoky, but they are unwarded. Pic is overhead of hallway, with only one door open on one side.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43716
43722
1514088787741-4.jpg
>>43711

Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43717
43718
>>43700
Torc and Snek continue running towards the sound
>>43713
"I'm looking for the source of that noise"
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43718
43722
>>43717
*runs after dazzling meme sorcerer*
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43719
43722 43723
>>43715
I use magic to become a filly and then look in the room with the open door.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43720
43721
I g2g for an hour.
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43721
>>43720
*grabs pony anyways*
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43722
43724
>>43719
WHAT
>>43718
"WHAT DO YOU WANT"
>>43716
Torc is on good terms with death
>>43719
Boi
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43723
43725
>>43719
Are we talking an illusion or a transformation?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43724
43726
>>43722
".... I want to be your friend.

We don't really talk much"
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43725
43726 43727
>>43723
Transform into a green filly with a question mark as a cutie mark.
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43726
43728 43729 43734
>>43724
"Why now?"
>>43725
Oh this is a load of...
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43727
43728
>>43725
>Gryphon-mage polymorphs into anonfilly
K,....
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43728
43730 43731
>>43726
You mad memelet?
>>43727
What do i see in the room?
Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43729
43730
>>43726
"We've been here several months. So why not now?"
Anonymous
sQZjW
?
No.43730
43732 43733
>>43729
Stahp flirting with mah wizard
>>43728
Yep, I can't wait for you to meet Torc
>preps Mr. Snek
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43731
43732
>>43728
Its the room you came from, thats the only door thats open. If you're looking for the way out its probably one of the doors at the end of the hall.
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43732
43735
1515434282730-0.jpg
>>43731
I trot to the end of the hall.
>>43730

Anonymous
VoRsg
?
No.43733
>>43730
*sad Paladin noises*

*pets pony for comfort*
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43734
43738
>>43726
>load of
Alter Self is a pretty low-level spell.
Anonymous
V3o0K
?
No.43735
43736
>>43732
K. On which side of the hallway did he go? Left/west or right/east? Nothing to detect on the door, so I assume going through?
Anonymous
LAy0j
?
No.43736
>>43735
The right end.
Mrs. Sentry
5CQOG
?
No.43737
43742
>>43712
Why U delet?