Well how about that,... air pirates. And they call their ship a derivative of "Cunt" too. I wonder if there's a connection, GM says dryly.
This leg of the game has the players either onboard or somewhere in the vicinity of the 'random' pirate airship that has taken to firing upon Trump Tower, as well as several of the characters. Unfortunately, a spell-caster onboard has placed a spell of Peace on the ship, and now there's a shimmering wall of force surrounding the captain.
Thez is hovering about 45deg from the front, ready to attack. Lenos is preparing for a Meteor Swarm, Infernius is speeding toward the ship, and Torcuil said "Fuck the Bullshit" and just teleported to it.
Trump wants to engage in diplomacy, but he rolled a 1 so he has to wait, and Tracy can't stab at ALL, which is an entirely new sensation for her.
>>42116>Ship is named "Sloppy Cunt," similar to Korak's "Jolly Cunt."
Don't you think I hadn't noticed. I was going to ask a question about that. As soon as I can ask questions...
>>42119>2 of the same name
Enough to imply a pattern for me.
All ships are cunts from here on out. If we build one, we'll name it "[insert here] Cunt".
Can she at least phase through the deck/floor to pass under the wall of force and invade the Captain's square?
Her first action can be to phase through the floor, yes.
WHY??? That's one action to jaunt, another action to move, and a third action to jaunt. Maybe more than one move action. Three whole rounds before you can do anything? Why do you want to wait that long? Have you not waited long enough? Do you want to just delay getting into the meat of it indefinitely?
If you are annoyed by shields, we'll have the wizard destroy them. It would take less time
Well forget that then.
I outta select that quickening feat later on..
I g2g for the next hour or two..
>GM does a quick review of all the metamagic feats.>Thez starts to sniffle cuz realizes she was way more powerful than she realized when she had magic>>42125
Remember, to augment the phasing you need quicken spell-like ability
>tfw sky pirates start attacking your party's base, violating the NAP, so you stabby-stabby the airship and Kek blesses you so you pop its source of lift
Are you referring to the plan? Cuz that balloon-like membrane that popped earlier was just a perimeter spell to keep out accidental incoming and to alert when legitimate threats/infiltration appear.
Awww, I thought it was the actual balloon
I was wondering why the ship wasn't falling, but now I understand why you said it shouldn't have popped
Falling from the sky is still well within the threshold of possibility still
Well I can help with that
I was looking at half-fiend abilities just a few hours ago. Those powers are sexy.
Can lurk, but can't post much..
I'm assuming Torc could detect this, cause its fucking easy as hell to notice.
Is the balloon hot air or lighter than air?
Lighter than air, strangely enough.
The balloon is not the only source of lift and propulsion. There are a number of large vertically and horizontally aligned propellers that whirl all on their own.
>>42137>balloon deflates>tangles propellers>???>profit>>42136
Okay, thats easier
Oh, you'd think that,....
From its appearance, the aesthetics make clear that this particular airship was designed more to be a luxury yacht, rather than a pirate's vessel. It features an expansive deck area lined with cushy seats. with a bar/poker table situated slightly below the steering. The wood trim is sleek and well polished, while the metals are comparably sculpted, inlaid, or encasing. It almost looks elven, but not quite.
What about the crew, do they look formidable?
Not just formidable, but coordinated and practiced. The last batch of pirates were noobs compared to these. Hell, their clothes are even clean.
How many apparent Spellcaster?
*picks bolts out of body*
Two are apparent.Sorry, divegrass
Can Torc detect magic uses by, well, their magic?
Thanks for reminding me.>>42145
Detect magic would tell you the presence of magic, you'd need to make spell-craft checks to identify what spells are being cast.
Mlpol lost ~_~
MVP fpr /fsg/ was the announcer
*dark energy-channeling stops*
[sad blackguard noises]
After an extensive and multiday exercise in hermeneutics, I have determined that under 3.5e rules, Fae would not be eligible to advance in size category from the Paladin's Mount hit die... I did discover a few other things, like additional ability scores and feats, that she would receive that make up for about half the difference in damage and attack
Tracy suddenly looks slightly more pissed-off than she did a moment ago, for no apparent reason.
"It's rigged.. It's always rigged..!" she curses quietly under her breath in horse-speech.
[mutters something about stabbing commentators]
What feats are those? I might train Tracy in them, for the sake of cavalry charges and whatnot.
Can I get any tips on the functional use of Astral Projection?
I discovered that both the paladin's mount hit die and the two cleric levels allowed her to receive new feats and ability score increases the same way it would a player character, so I alloted the two ability points to strength and constitution respectively to even out the obnoxious as fuck odd-numbered set of physical ability points Dragonnes have.
The three feats are Improved Natural Attack (bite), Improved Natural Attack (claws), and Multiattack. All three apply only to use of natural weapons, and so are basically monster-only feats. Improved Natural Attack is my favorite monster feat, and it increases the damage die of a natural attack as if the creature had moved up one size category. Multiattack reduces the penalty for secondary attacks with natural weapons from -5 to -2.>Train Tracy in them
Both feats apply only to natural weapons, so Tracy would only really be eligible for them in her transformed states. She'd benefit from both of them I think, but I've noticed that you prefer to use proper and exotic weapons over natural weapons
Yeah, thats what I was looking for
i missed the cup match? REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Hooves aren't natural weapons?
There's another /mlpol/ match in an hour or two (hard to say cuz they were delayed) but laater today
They are natural weapons. In the case of horses, Nightmares, and Cauchemars, hooves are the primary natural weapon, and Nightmares have added fire damage. Nightmares and Cauchemars also have bite attacks as secondary natural weapons
In calculating Fae's base attack bonus, can we add the bonus from the class levels ontop of her Magical Beast attack bonus, or must her entire set of Hit Die be reinterpreted?
who is this playing rn?
I was wondering about this for Tracy's attacks as well, but didn't ask because I didn't want to get nerfed.
Call them what you like...
ill call them soap.
Posting nazbol memes cuz I have a little bit of time to kill..
Idk why, but these always crack me up.
Ig2g for an hour.
Hope we win the match.
me too. stay safe.
I'm going to a movie with my family, so I'll be out for a few hours. I believe there are several more /pol/ league games anyways, so I think we'd have a delayed start tonight either way
"All the Money in the World," The movie about the kidnapping of Paul Ghetty's grandson
hope you guys enjoy it.
GM, can you put Tenko in the game later, so Tracy can kill him?
infernuis will help.
It will be my pleasure
>>42190I kind of wanted to try that chest-burster move on him. She has the lube.
i wanted to slowly boil him in a big pot.
Not cruel/unusual enough.
That autistic screeching while the song was playing was just uncalled for.
let the orcs eat him alive?
Uncalled for, but unsurprising. I'm sure he got all kinds of PMs bout "fuck Mlpol" at interval
I'm not watching, hows it going for us?
1-1 we advance, we fight /auspol/ tommorow.
We fight the Australians tomorrow.
Only the strong survive.
need more strya memes
Thats all I've got
terrible meme mage.
>>42202>100 year delayed shitposts
I wasn't joking when I said my meme folder got wiped.
I'm starting from the bottom up>>42207
I can only hope to reach those shitpost levels
There is much moar to explore, Anon.
>>42209>writing a meme bible
Give me a year
Alright, sorry for the delay. That last match of the cup made me mad and I needed a moment to chill.
Thats fine, I'm just formulating ideas for the meme bible
Is Lenos's faggot present?
It is time to go down as the biggest shitposter in history
Good to hear.
Now, if we could just get a signal on Trump's faggot..
hes watching a movie.
I already have an end times prophecy, yeah I will go down as the biggest shitposter
Hope he get back soon or his character is getting >raped in front of everyone.
>>42221>rape himUSER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST
absolute top fucking kek
>>42224>a pali checking quads
IT'S A SIGN OF KEK
Now Tracy has to >rape
Actually, >rape is permissible under a Zone of Peace,....
Well.. I can't really argue with those digits, can I?
*Throws Trumpaladin off her back and sits on him while stripping his lower-half armor*
The pirates, who were advancing on Tracy and Trump seem hesitant, and who try to pretend to not watch.
Torc looks away, laughing his ass off.
How distracted are the pirates now?
[1d20 = 12]>>42230
stealth to board the ship while they are distracted.
[1d4+1 = 2]>>42228>pants off>armor off>helmet offpointless roll to see how long it takes her to strip him bare
*takes his head into her mouth and bucks violently*
What are you talking about distracted? Its not like they're watching anything,.... They're not oblivious though. Where exactly did Torcuil teleport to?
I'm assuming a couple feet behind Trump and Tracy if there's room.>not oblivious
That answers my question>>42233>1
Why the helmet tho?
>>42233>>42235That was a 1d4+1 roll, btw
Tracy lays him bare in wo minutes flat and ravages.
So she can feel his face beneath her butt.
I saw, that was a good dice range
The suit counts as clothing, so I didn't count it in the strip check
*publicly ravages Paladin*
"Rabbits I fucking tell ya"
You do, but immediately come under the effects of the Zone of Peace. Being a Cleric yourself, you immediately fixate on a fellow toward the front of the ship who is maintaining a mantra-chant, his hands showing symbolic gestures.
What does zone of peace do to Torc?
[1d20+10 = 13]>>42245
has lenos managed to cast meteor swarm yet?
I realize, due to smoke concealment, it'd look like one of those cartoonish dust clouds you'd see in Looney Toons to anyone more than 10 ft away....
It's completely clear that they're naked though. Jets of blue fire are shooting out here and there as well.
*continues ravaging paladin, making a lot of distracting noises in the process*
His head is in her mouth again.
[1d20+9 = 20]>>42247>will save
Same here I guess
Unable to physically attack or cast deliberately harmful spells.>>42248
In a moment>>42249
Yes, yes, we get it. The pirates are quite distracted and stalled, unsure what to do.
That would have worked, but too late.
Alright. I wasn't in the mood for details anyway.
[1d20+9 = 28]>>42252>rip me
Whoops accidental roll
Its not a big deal, you just can'tt attack. Also, Trump is being >raped.>pic related is for when Trump catches up on thread
Can Torc still do abjuration spells?
He's gonna be pissed when he finds out his armor was taken off..
at least he has the shield.
This is unironically one of the reasons why I had Tracy make him that Hat of Glamering. It should make his undershirt look presentable.
The credits roll on the movie I am watching, and the first thing I see when I check my phone (immediately) is "will save," and the second thing I see is "continues ravaging paladin, his head fully in her mouth"
trump you exihbitionist you
It wouldn't be all the armor, just the bits and pieces around his tender bits.>>42260
You can place one or both hands on or about someone's clothes, but not aggressively nor with force sufficient to detain.
GM, did you say lvl 8 or 9 spells where the limit for Torc after leveling up?>>42264
A big beautiful wall that the pirates will pay for?
Seriously, I was thinking things like protection spells.
Trumpaladin gives Tracy an expression that says (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST), and knocks her the fuck off
*cums inside horse*
Of course, that's totally non-violent>>42267
Of course, that's totally non-violent
At this point two things occur. A chunk sound, followed by a "What?!" from a distant Thez, and also fiery hell bursts forth from outside the ship, aimed at the balloon-things.
As the Peace-field dissipates, Tracy continues to have her way with Trump, oblivious to the field being rendered null. The pirates - mostly - are likewise oblivious to the field status, as they can't look away from the scene apparent.
[1d20 = 2]>>42268>knocks her the fuck off
Ride check, to stay mounted>tfw no ranks in Ride
Around Lenos' diminuative size appear four fiery spheres which streak toward and strike at the balloon. With four distinct flashes, the balloon,... shows some charring, but no apparent damage.
*puts his armor and everything back on*
Is bitch smacking permitted in a zone of peace?
anyone remember what the action order is?
"Welp, guess thats my cue"
Torc looks directly at the captain.http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Irresistible_Dance>>42274
[1d4+1 = 3]>>42275
Fucked up that roll
i killed the zone of peace.
[1d20 = 20]
Bitch Smacks Pony
[1d20+19 = 36]>>42273>donning hastily
*Sleight of Hand to conceal little door-thing that would normally cover his crotch-dock*
i hope that metals hard.
Either way, it's missing now.
"why you attack us kike?!?"
>>42280>That garish codpiece
>>42280>tfw medieval knights often got boners in battle, and/or they wanted their enemies to think they had big swords
Also forgot memehttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UcRtFYAz2Yo>>42285
I honestly don't know how to feel about this
The legendary irresistable dance, formerly attributed to "Otto". We meet again. Alright.
Lenos, from his position is able to witness Thez' crazy Tron-disk bounce off the balloon. That's right, it bounced off. Further, a full spread of Meteor Swarm resulted in charring. Lenos is beginning to think this isn't a balloon at all.
That reminds me of a piece of equipment that we need to get for Torcuil: The Codpiece of Attentionhttp://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Codpiece_of_Attention_(3.5e_Equipment)
lenos is begining to get an eye twitch
>>42287>we meet again
Sounds like a good story for another time
But first, ask her through empathic link to check out damage to the town from bombardment
can i see the captain?
What the actual fuck is this shit?
He's a bit busy dancing currently
You don't see it much on /k/ or Crusader threads.
It's the darker side of history...>>42284
Feel free to forget about it and cover-up the gap with the magick hat.
Otherwise, you'd have to somehow out-roll her with a Search check, because she's not about to let go of it.
*pulls out and activates sword while moving to get within range of the balloon things
[1d20 = 3]>>42295
Grapples pony, and uses her to cover up gap in armor
make me one torc
Oddly, there are several people in the captain's area who are dancing.
... He adds his 17 base attack bonus an +5 strength bonus to that. That's a 25 in total
I never wanna see one again>>42299
Spell or they just enjoy dancing?
>>42288>*see page*>*eye twitches*
.... *dry laughter....>>42298
Ask Torc, he has all of the spells.
Pay him back by helping him with the Stone Horse.
If you'd hurry up with the pirates you could attack the temple and you wouldn't need
to worry about a stone horse,....
Says "hello" to captain. Or tries to anyways
Temple?>>42302Am I gonna have too make an OC rock horse?
[1d20+19 = 23]>>42300
Escape artist check, because reasons.
After that, she promtly puts him on her back, and phases beneath the deck to get into the captains square.
Is Trump resisting this move?
Uh... I guess not?
*hides gap in armor with horse fur*
Trump just tried to grapple earlier, can you grapple in a zone of peace?
where am i on the ship gm? can i see the captain?
Trump and Tracy phase quickly through the floor, and find themselves in a living-quarters area with an attached balcony. The balcony overlooks,... whatever the ship is over, and from their position, both can determine that the Captain's force wall sphere extends into the floor. There's only 2 guys here, both really skinny and rather noobish, who look at T/T fearfully.
[1d20 = 12]>>42312
What does the living area look like? Search check
Are they still dancing?
[1d20 = 16]>>42315
The dancing people were on the deck. We are not in the deck. We are in a different room, presumably but not necessarily the captain's quarters>>42312
Spot check. Are the two dudes fucking?
[1d20+21 = 35]>>42312>force wall sphere extends into the floor
.... Well fug....... I didn't know you could do that..
Search check to find any possible way around it.
Don't worry about it, you're below-decks.
Meanwhile, the small group around the captain, and including the captain (who naturally is the most ornate of the bunch), continues to dnce.
>>42318>continues to dance
This is going better than expected
>>42317>Look for ways around the force field sphere>sphere
I guess they are out of line of sight now, but before they left, did Trumpaladin see the dancers? Do they look fabulous?
is there anyone on the deck im on?
... how do you get past a spherical force wall that can extend through solid objects?>>42319Pls Disintegrate this thing.
Orders the horse back to the deck
>>42322But dispelling magic will stop the dancing..
Fine, dispell magic>>42320
"Why are you so interested in getting close to this man? Hmmm? HMMM??? Want to put your nuzzle up to his, don't you?"
*moves through deck*>>42324
Not dispel, Disintegrate
on the sphere.
A couple dozen, and they're beginning to catch wind that they can attack.>>42325>GM thinks Trump is buzzed>>42324
As you will. I assume you're doing an area of effect?
Tries one more time to talk to captain
"Excuse me, can you tell me why you attacked our tower and city?"
Also, Fae was called a while ago, I assume she's nearing?
has lenos gotten close enough to physicaly attack the balloons with his sword?
>>42326>tfw when opening the video and then closing it, and my lady admonishes me and tells me to put it back on
[1d20 = 9]>>42328
slash slash slash
You have a lady with excellent tastes
[3d20 = 42]>>42324
*brings him through the deck towards the captain.*
"Fix it!" she demands, gesturing to the wall of force.>>42330
Cast the spell.
also, rolling to kill both those noobs below the deck because why not?
im lighting my sword on fire hen attacking
You're back on deck, remember?
That's the trigger-word for his sword's Flaming Burst ability
No shit. Why is he attacking
They attacked us, and he's chaotic.
they attacked first.
Torc wrecks the wall of force, then casts the Sex Offender Shuffle
[3d20 = 31]
[4d20 = 43]
Trumpaladin slashes to kill something
Also, Fae should be here, so she's ordered to pounce on some guy
>>42345>Fae should be here
She flies at the same speed Lenos walks.
Technically, the party "attacked first" from the perspective of the pirates. What the pirates don't know is that the "flaming explosion" attack was Lenos awkwardly detecting Thez' shenanigens and had no violent intentions behind them.
One at a time please, roll a dispel check
>>42344>Sex offender shuffle
Under d&d rules the Mount dimension doors in the round after it is called. It's GM who makes it take so damned long
It's not my fault the rest of my party are idiots. I just wanted to ask a few basic questions>>42351
I know right>>42352
Tracy is just killing because she wants to now.
Because under D&D rules the mount is an extra-dimensional creature that is veritably summoned to the spot. But we're not GOING by D&D rules are we?
[1d20 = 9]>>42351
Whats that supposed to mean?>>42355
That's how she came the first time. From a different dimension. Just not summoned
"Fae I summon thee"
*does hand movements as appropriate*
has lenos gotten close enough to the balloons to hit them with his sword
Since she's not an extraplanar creature, can she still be brought back if she's kill?
THEY attcked US m8
>>42356Disintegrate!>>42353>I just wanted to ask a few basic questions
Then why did you order Fae to attack as well?
I was wondering the same thing earlier today. I think she's racially a magic beast, and so has a dual nature>>42362
Did they confuse us for the Court City Pyramid in the water? Why did they attack us? I want to know
>>42358He should be... he's been walking for two days..
you can ask the captain, but his men die for this slight against port barry.
Don't worry, you get a new one in a month.
[1d20 = 10]>>42363
Fine, Torc sets his phaser to disintegrate and makes a disintegration roll
I'd rather ask questions, but if you fuck ups are going to destroy that for me, then I'm taking xp as well>>42366
They did fire at the city>>42367
So do you want to negotiate while they're cowering, or do you want XP?
ask your questions you found the captain.
Yes that. Its a good thing Lenos is above the "balloon", cuz otherwise I'd have alot of explaining to do. The Sword passes harmlessly through the balloon, given both the nature of the sword and the nature of the balloon.>>42364
That is unknown. There's lots of pirates to kill, a guy in less piratey equipment, and an impenetrable sphere overlooking a blackjack table, filled with about 10 people dancing hysterically.
Tracy will just shove the captain in her bag and suffocate him.
Oh fuck it
Order Tracy to attack, and slash as appropriate
This dancing is the best idea I ever had.>-10 refl saves
Have fun guys
[1d20+21 = 40]
[3d20 = 32]
*loose 60-ft chain*
Attack nearest pirate
[4d20 = 48]
Full Round Slashing!
*puts sword away and glares at balloons before heading to the deck to burn pirates*
[3d20 = 10]>>42376
Can, can she cleave that?>>42378
*stands back a bit*
Alright, can we just assume the Pirates got owned? They were only level 6-8, and there was only a couple dozen of them.>>42379
[1d20 = 5]>>42377
That 20 is a cleave
But Torc was enjoying the dancing!
Can I approach and stare the hell down the people at the blackjack table? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcKW2xDcxLM
The ones dancing are in the wall of force. They're still dancing.
I know right. I just wanted to ask why they were shooting at us and the city
"I appreciate your moves, but can you tell us why the hell you shot at our base and our city?"
[1d20+21 = 23]>>42384
Intimidate Check for that
Also, cast Doom on the Captain.
Eventually the wall of force disappears (it only gets 1 round/level) and as it does so, the Captain and those inside continue to dance. Its ludicrous to think they're still under the effects of the spell, so the dancing must be voluntary.
My sides have left the planet
>>42390>*gives the stink-eye*
I rly don't think you do
These xp whores aren't taking it all
Eventually the captain and his cohorts realize that they're not surrounded by their men who are in fact dead and dying along the deck of the ship.
"Let me guess, you want,..." he cuts off, and runs toward the rear of the ship.
[1d20 = 17]>>42391>>42397
Rolling to make a trip attack with the spiked chain
Doom once more>>42396
This is why I prefer neutral ebil
That son of a bitch knows something of value. Maybe even a Unicorn!
>>42398>tfw 31 Str, and 60-ft spiked chain
Follows as fast as he can run. Which is like 3x speed
Then we'll ask him ourselves
she just tripped him up
[3d20 = 29]
Fae, having most definitely been summoned, is ordered to Pounce on a cohort
[1d20 = 20]>>42397
*bellows* don't kill him I want to torture him for awhile
After we're done torturing him, lets open a Gate and throw him into the Abyss.
"So now... Who are you, where do you come from, why are you here, and why the actual fuck were you shooting at us?"
It does trip him up, and as he tips forward he grabs his hat and acrobatically/gracefully flips in mid-air and lands on his feet in a continuous run, casting a sly glance at Tracy as he does so>>42404
You have a choice. Did you succeed the grapple, or did you stay on the ship?
>>42406>hold monster>on a humanoid
Eh, could be worse
Grab him Infernius!
Well I couldn't find hold person, so fuck off
[3d20 = 39]>>42409
Oh no he doesn't!
MOUNT FLYING THING AND CHASE HIM!
Tracy and Trump go after him, Fae pounces cohorts
Rolling for Pounce because damn it, I have a death machine and I am using it
Tracy promptly pursues the two beneath the ground.>>42415
Why you kill all of the cohorts if you want info?
And so you did. Unfortunately, that glorious tackle-grab that resulted in him being in possession, also resulted in the both of you rolling off the ship.>>42416
towards the ground*>>42415
Make a ride check to mount rapidly. She's going either way.
"Take them alive if possible Fae!"
Tries to get the Infernius and Captain>>42419
Mounts horse anyways
[1d20+4 = 7]>>42418
"WHO FUCK ARE YOU?!?!"
The rest of the "Captain's Cohorts" freeze in place, but a well-dressed mage steps forth wearing a well-tailored black suit with emerald pinstripes and fine accoutrements (pocket watch, crystal monacle, proper white gloves, spats, etc.)
Seriously, make the rapid-mounting check
She'll react differently if he's riding her.
[1d20+10 = 14]>>42424
Fine. Ride check
bring him to the tower training room when you catch him ill be ready to start the torture by the time you get him there *heads for the tower training room*
>>42425You don't want to fight that mage?
You rolled short.
Tracy flies down to grab Infernius and stuff the captain in her bag.
>>42427I think there's one more enemy
"Hello. Who are you?"
I'm nerfing your flying soon
If Trumpaladin has to roll a 15 to get on a horse you can fucking walk
"Put him in the bag."
He has to roll a 20 or higher to mount rapidly, and Infernius was at terminal velocity.
>>42434>Has to roll a 20
You're definitely fucking nerfed. The next time your character tries to fly or avoid falling to death, post deletion and ban
*spots mage and turns around and heads back to the ship* The mage is mine to kill
Stahp. Stop fucking up the story. Let us get some exposition to move the story along for Christ sake
"If I give you my name, will you accept a duel?" he says with a sneer, as though he expects Torcuil's refusal.>>42433>in the bag
You're way outside, only Thez can <whoooof>
You're welcome to wait, but Lenos can still attack. His character has no reason not to.>>42440>in the bag
He'll suffocate, but it's still easy storage.
*suffocates in german Minotaur*
*Removes captain from bag*
"Nah, I'm not really feeling a duel today."
Fine, roll a d20 to catch Infernius, and what about the guy he's grappelling?>>42444>>42442
We're so not there yet
"A pity then, the GM was looking forward to lining Bones with my suit. Adieu,...."
who needs to roll a d20 im confused now
he just called you a bitch torc, are you gonna take that?
And what is this "F>"
F> is the mage. I haven't gone back and looked at what I determined his name was, but he's far past pleasantries so I figure I can wait on that. He's subjecting the party to wicked-level illusions and mind-games n shit.
Meanwhile, Infernius finds, upon attempting to detain the increasingly wiley captain, that he is holding a cheap bathrobe, and that the real captain is falling at standard speed with a smirk on his face.
"reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tracy go get em."
As he looks at the increasingly descending captain, the sky around him turns red, the clouds catch fire, and the whole planet beneath turns to ash and ember. The air chokes him, and there are no kitties.
"what the fuck?!?"
"lennos take out cat wand!"
Oh. Cast dispel magic on self
is dying and cat hardly see keyboard
I know what you meant
i cast dispel magic
As Tracy holds Infernius he begins to shift. She looks down and finds she's holding a weird octopus creature that has Trollestia's hed on the tips of each tentacle.
That's 2. We'll leave it at "enough to dispel the illusion". Torcuil never got his either. So the party shakes off the lingering image of the illusion,... you do know that was an illusion right? Don't worry, there are still kitties.
Unfortunately the Captain, the Mage, and the Cleric from the ship's crew seem to have made an effective escape.
[1d20+11 = 13][1d20 = 1]>>42479
From Midair? Spot check and Fae can spot check
Dude, they're gone
gm infernious you bastards im still laughing and my sides hurt now
"me sure this will be the last we see of them."
"Now let's ransack their shit. Take their ship, figure out how it works, see what goodies are here, resurrect a pirate or more later and ask 'em questions, and maybe see if any of them want jobs"
The ship is littered with mostly/partially full bottles of alcohol, and the small kitchen is laden with a largely devoured boar. They appear to have been having a dinner party.
Is there a map for navigation in the cock pit? Is anything marked on it?>>42489
This. Fae should be here, so there should be at least one kitty
i think they got drunk and accidentally shot at us.
Kek. They shot a hell of a lot of cannon balls though
Fae arrives, "Sorry I'm late, the GM forgot about me,... again.">>42489
The thought of "No kittens" echoes to Infernius>>42492
"It wasn't accidental, but I don't think they expected that kind of response," Thez offers. "Its not a balloon at all, its a floating rock!" she says, punching the "balloon".
*pets dander-free feline*
"It's okay, I love you"
"Do you know why they attacked?"
no wonder i couldn't pop it*folds arms and glares at the floating rock*
"No, for real this time, its a flying rock."
"Have you seen them before?"
"Nope," her attention is waning, she seems particularly curious about the ship and its ammenities.
May as well inspect the weapons. There were 14 cannons - are they on a separate deck, is that the entire complement?
well good night all lenos's faggot has to be up early to try and get broken truck fixed
"you think we can make more ships?"
They're all fixed into the starboard side of the ship, with three forward facing cannons on top of it. The cannons appear operated and fed by an intricate array of mechanisms, all controlled by a hand crank.>>42501
Lenos inspects the bar, later>>42502
Thez looks at him like he just asked her something silly. "I don't even know what it is exactly,... but its cozy."
infernuis want to skull fuck a beholder.
I've made a note. Their environment isn't as stringent as I thought, so I'll make sure you come across one. It will probably be a mount for a black-guard lich mind flayer tho.
>>42512>All that shit
You may as well have us fight Nyarlathotep riding Yog-Sothoth
>>42513> Nyarlathotep riding Yog-Sothoth
ill just mind fuck the mind flayer.
Is Yog-Sothoth the flying spaghetti monster?https://youtu.be/cE1FrqheQNI
>>42521>deleted it myself
Brains are fattening apparently.
>Implying he wouldn't be better off with the Mindflayer than with us
>>42524>Mind Flayer is actually really nice and charming>Torc falls in love and doesn't want to leave>Party is convinced that the Mindflayer is controlling his brain with her powers>Party """rescues""" Torc, despite his resistance
*kills mind flayer*
>>42525>Party challenges the Mindflayer to save the NEET damsel in distress>After causing the mindflayer damage, she flees>Infernius grapples Torcuil and Trump dimension shackles him as he screams "NO! NO! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK WITH YOU PSYCHOPATH FUCKUP WANKS!">Tracy gags him, hands him a long list and says "You're crafting these things for me, and paying for it with your own xp">In a far off field, the mindflayer changes back to her normal form: Trollestia
That's fukkin diabolical
Obviously yes, cause my body decided to pass out>>42481
You fugged up>>42483
Dancing airpirates was amazing>>42525>>42527
Whats a Mindflayer? Sounds Lovecraftian
T H I S
Range ban Australia>>42532>sounds lovecraftian
I know right
This pic is my favorite. It appears to be a Mind Flayer Monk,... which would be just absurd.
Cthulhu's retarded son?
they eat your brain and gain your knowledge.
Uber intelligent, but yes.
/MLPOL/ VS /ANCAP/
>>42542>internal conflict grows
Jk, GO MLPOL
Testing the other dice rolling
[1d20 = 18]
how do you do that one?
Don't feel bad, idk either
Alright. Since I'm no longer invested in the 4cc, I'll be here-abouts if anyone wants to do stuff
Can Tracy select Sneak Attack of Opportunity and Lingering Damage as her bonus feats? She meets the prerequisites, but Idk how ebin feats work.
At epic level, of course she can, provided that the class allows those as bonus feats (which I'll bet they will)
infernuis transforms into pickle infernuis
She's not gonna say it, but she's thinking it.
It doesn't say that on the page though.
It only asks for Opportunist and Crippling Strike class features, along with +8d6 Sneak Attack damage.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Lingering_Damagehttps://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Sneak_Attack_of_Opportunity
You don't see the [EPIC] next to the feat name?
>>42552>inb4 unable to change back
>>42557>Inb4 he doesn't care so long as Thez can carry him around
"t-t-t-thez *burp* me a shit meme thez, shove me in y-y-you *burp*"
Does that imply that you can't select it until you have 20 levels? There are other feats that require minimum class levels, but these don't.
What about the holodeck? I don't see any restrictions for acquiring feats through other means.
I asked for an epic feat back when we were first selecting feats, GM said no epic feats for non-epic characters, and if I have to wait for ebin feats, so do you
Alright then. I guess I'll just have to wait until lvl 20.
Let me look at the list again..
What page did you pull that Devoted to A Cause feat from?
[(# o dice)d(# o sides)]
So the party has a handy new airship, which is much faster and more maneuverable than the Tower. It also has fixed cannons that were able to dent the Tower. Lenos, and now Thez are 'examining' the bar, aside from a couple-dozen pirates lining the deck and somehow Infernius turning himself into a pickle, nothing but the sound of the wind and the rhythm of the ships mechanisms running is immediate.
You said it was operated by hand crank. Was it operated by a single hand crank, or is each cannon separately operated?
Has anyone figured out the basic controls on the thing yet?
You need to have a very high IQ to understand....>>42572>no sound
Anyway, to begins to poke and prod around the ship
Can Torc be pilot?
"thez no alcohol!"
"Says the pickle," Xp
So long as 1. you don't crash it 2. I can adorn it with my Generals as archery support, then sure>>42576
Tell Fae to bring a Spartan up to the ship, and ask him what the hell this thing is
"reeeeee it will deform the baby!"
This. Also, alcohol is degenerate
[1d20+5 = 6]>>42576
Uh, I'm assuming int gives a bonus.
So, bonus is +2 (Arcana knowledge) +3 int
What are feats btw?
I'm gonna go kill myself now
in the email field or what
Just type it
EG[1d20 = 19][1d1000 = 637][5d6 = 15]
Well, yes. Typical of homebrew feats, they function more like multiple ex's or sp's than a normal feat. But they look very easy to split into smaller parts, so that you can get some of the benefits while some are nerfed. I also think "Architype" feats are different than general feats in how they are acquired, but I really don't know and can't say how
Oh now I get a good fucking d20 roll
Fuck off script
She qualifies for the listed prereqs, and I think they match her meme-thematics.
Just fyi, if you want to test things, there's also a hidden board for it:>>>/test/
I'm not sure, but I think an archetype feat is added on almost like a template on top of the character, rather than an acquired skill
Thanks for the link, for some reason I can never get there
I guess that means no then.
Feats are learned skills or abilities that don't fit with basic skills. Think of them as technique(s) that the player learns to accommodate their existing abilities.>>42598
Cuz you need more hacks?
How do archetypes work anyway? I was just poking around the page that last link was from.
You pick them. You already get like, 8 (1 + /3levels) and probably a bonus one or two. As role-playing tools they're really handy, or just as modifiers they work too.
>>42603>I get 8
How many skills can I pick to be maxxed with my skill points?
I noticed that it was overlooked that Torcuil and Trumpaladin are eligible for an additional feat as a racial quality of being human. Can Trumpaladin select Weapon Focus for use of Vanderiem or does that feat need to go towards "weapon proficiency, bastard sword>>42603>>42604
Actually, the number of feats at 17th level is 6, +1 for humans
"Thez can you pick me up? it dirty down here."
By the way, lest I forget, I did want to give shit to Infernius and Torcuil, who's faggots couldn't contain themselves from cross-threading in the 4cc thread, and especially Torcuil for thinking this was the first trophy Mlpol has gotten Xp
You can only have as many ranks in a skill as you have levels for Class skills, and you can only have half as many in cross-class skills
"I can't believe we're having this conversation," she laments before slapping him down on the bar.
"Why are you a pickle?"
torc called me out.
Oh I was facepalming the entire time
>>42607Hey, he fucking started it. And I hadn't paid attention to the cups so go drive off a cliff. But not really>>42608
The number of ranks you can have in a skill is equal to the class level plus 3 for class skillshttp://www.ign.com/wikis/dungeons-and-dragons/Level_and_XP_progression
"because me can mort.....thez.">>42611
Torcuil is now 17th level. He can have up to 17 in any class-related skill or 8 in any non-class skill.>>42614
"And how do you plan to not
be a pickle, given that we don't even know what is on this ship? How did you become a pickle in the first place?"
Thez sighs and places Infernius in her drink, intent on continuing the discussion as she wanders about the ship, venturing below-deck to check it out.
He's Animal Domain, Right?
Doesn't he get Shapechange at this level?
>>42614You thez posted first>>42616>17 in some 8 in the others
This is weird
>>42617>Me unironically trying to make sense of this
Don't mind me, I've been a huge autist all day today..
Can Tracy ransack the bodies/ship?
ding ding ding.
"me have new power"
>>42618someone said post waifu for power.
It looks pretty high class
Tracy looks around for anything worth taking.
I missed the waifu bit
"Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Turn me into a horse or pony!"
>>42622Well, I guess its better for me to be slightly autistic and get it out on the web than with people I know irl. Now can we shut up about it?>>42625
I swear we get fucking weirder every bred>>42627
"And that's what you went with?"
>>42622>post waifu for power
*touches Infernius's Pickle*
"me thought it would be funny.">>42628yea we can.>>42631
"klattu verata nikto"
*you are now flash sentry*
Alright, so aside from completely failing his initial attempts to understand the controls, Torcuil finds that the controls are quite simple. The ship can steer in any direction off of forward, but can't upset its gyroscopic position (down is always down). It can go forward and a minimal, medial, and nominal pace, has "poor" (per gaming terms) maneuverability, and was designed with idiots in mind (meaning, minimal user input).
"MY POWER GROWS!"
Shapechange is personal only, u cant change others
torc has to change you
But Animal Shape
Thez also goes to Tracy, still carrying beverage Infernius.
"Do you still have the skull-shaped bottle?" Eyes beaming mischievously.
Fair point, though that means Trump can't be a pickle.
"You shush, this was your idea anyway." :3
*Sad Waifu Thief noises*>>42642
I don't think it was actually crafted, just discussed
The skull-shaped bottle is one of the ones that Thez gave Tracy some time ago. It made a cameo during the Terrasque fight. Thez has Tracy hold onto it cuz she thinks that Tracy will do something with it at some point, but in the meantime its an excuse to bug her.
[1d20 = 4]>>42647
Oh. Was that the bottle of air? Also, when stealing waifus, what modifier do I apply? Diplomacy? Grapple modifiers?
Where is Tracy's faggot? Oh well. Rolling to steal Tracy
That looks like a shitty roll, but it's a 38 if diplomacy is applied, and a 26 if grapple modifiers are applied. I am an expert waifu thief
I actually understand something for once, does it have an intercom system?>>42639
There's no skill for seduction (there REALLY should be) so I would add the modifiers of Sense Motive with Diplomacy and divide that by 2, applied against a DC for the pony being seduced>>42650
For example, Scootaloo would be DC5 j/k but not by much
[1d20+30 = 31]>>42651>The only two skills I put anything into
+30 on the seduction modifier then
Rolling to seduce the nearest pony, which really out to be Tracy
>>42654>I rolled a 1
I managed to fuck up seducing Tracy
>>42655>dick caught in vaccum cleaner.
I check every time that happens to make sure it wasn't a script error.
The way I'm gonna play this one is, having just recently engaged in a frivolous sexing in front of the pirates, Trump is still off his game a tad and comically misses one of his lines.
"This is your captain speaking, I would like you to know I'm going to try flying this fucking thing.
Uh, please fasten your seatbelts and hold on to your valuables"
Torc tries to pilot the ship towards the bay
>>42658>no hands, my bad
Still a 0>>42659
May the dice be with you.
*Blue balled waifu thief noises*
So... what are the DCs of the various ponies?
There's a classic ship-wheel, except steering-wheel size attached to what looks like a podium. There's a lever on the middle-right and a smaller one above it. a number of buttons and switches adorn the console.
I should mention, the ship its self is levelled at about 1000 feet, which is relatively clear of any potential landmarks
Do the buttons and switches have labels?
And what position are the levers at?>>42665
I will not touch altitude controll then
[1d20 = 11]>>42664>>42665
rolling for torc.
>>42665>There are no buildings over 1000 feet tall, so nothing to worry about crashing into
Nice to know
I don't need your rolls>>42669
>>42666>doesn't want to get blown up
Okay, fine. After a few rounds of daintily messing with the conrols, Torcuil figures out that the upper right is altitude, and the middle right is throttle. He's not particularly skilled, but he can be said to get an idea of how to guide the ship. No, there are no labels on the buttons and switches.
Sorry I had to step out...
*pregnancy cravings intensify*
"Here you go."
"look at me, me a pickle!"
I'll let Lenos look at those later.
Uh, mid level throttle, steer towards the bay. Drop to low throttle half way. Then cut gas flip around and thrust until stopped when at the bay
*drools a little bit*Fyi, if he didn't already belong to Thez, she may've just eaten him. She's like a cat in that regard.
"Do they have any food left in the chambers? Something acidic?">>42679>that ridiculous modifier>still 1 anyway
Wtf am I supposed to make of that?
There's about 1/2 a boar
Still a fail btw
dont worry ill escape to the sewers.
>>42681>Still a fail
I know, I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to respond to it..
"You, get big again," she says, waving one hand about in reference to making magic work.
*steps over bodies*
*tears into boar*
Did the pirates drop anything interesting? Tracy's about to ransack the ship.
>>42680>wtf am I supposed to make of that
I know right? I'm guessing that means he lights himself on fire, or falls off, or knocks her over, or something that gets him stabbed or raped
"you don't want to put me in the jar?"
>>42686>You fall over and hit your neck in suck a way that you become quadraplegic, then she >rapes you like you asked, but you're unable to feel it or speak.
*puts in jar because why not?*
"There you go."
That's way too harsh
"haha pickle infernuis!!"
But like a real pick up artist I can roll again with a different target right?
Can certain transmutations be made permanent?>>42693
If they see you hitting on every female in the tavern, you might get a penalty.
I'm ok with lighting himself on fire>>42689
"Hey!" Pulls pickle out of jar, ">>42691
Easy maneuver. Its not like you're air-dropping ppl over ab enemy site.>>42693
Cuz there's plenty of pones (or females for that matter) to seduce?
>>42694> -5 penalty on retries
Eh. I'll take it, and then go to the next tavern
What kind of clothes are they wearing?
>>42695>not a lot of ponies
Touché. Is Felicia still pissy about that whole stabbing-her thing?
Torc looks for the rest of the party, where are they?
I thought we were all on the airship?
Depends, which transmutation?>>42696
Thats seriously what you're going with>>42699
They're on the ship, surprised (relieved?) that they haven't died yet.
Trumpaladin has always looked somewhat orange, but he looks more orange than usual
"Hi guys, whats...">>42705
"Am I drunk already?"
I'll talk her out of it
*pets pony with wing. The blue pony*
"I don' know. You flying us all while buzzed?"
What's the handle animal check to have sex with a horse?
That d-depends, are you a horse right now?"
Ones that aren't just drastic stat changes like bull's strength, but rather the ones that change the function or form of objects/people, like Animal Shape, Corrupt Weapon, or Air Walk.
*Trumpaladin displays his beautiful wings, gilded armor, and natural splendor*
[happy pony noises]
"It's been a while since I've seen you like this, ~Flashy."Hey wait, isn't Pegasus a magical beast, not an animal?*shoots self for obnoxious metafaggotry*
"And... hes... a...
Who put LSD in my tea?"
"But not long at all since I've seen you"
*Nuzzles pony with adorable pony nuzzle
FUCK YES I'M A PONY NOW!That's correct, and shut the hell up. I was hoping GM wouldn't notice>>42715
"Probably best not to trust food and drink you didn't prepare yourself"
"Well, if you can't beat em..."
Torc polymorphs into a snake
Oh please, animal form is legit, and I've been watching the whole way. Besides, I'm letting Infernius do this pickle-shit.
[nostalgic pony noises]
*POOF IS MINOTAUR AGAIN*
*Tries to avoid stepping on snake*
"You never got over that night, did you?"
"No step">Torc right now
[2d20 = 36]>>42720
First strike is a stunning blow (DC34 v Fort), second strike is (at -4) putting the bottle of air in Infernius' mouth.
Under normal game rules, if he shifted into an inanimate object, would he have even been able to shift back?>>42721
"~Hmmmm... I almost thought you'd forgotten..."
There has to be a way to give Snek proficiency in one of those gunz
>>42723>when Thez rolls a 20 on a melee attack
Is Snek an Animal or a Construct btw?
>>42724>snek gets a gun
I really like this idea, since there's 2>>42725
She once killed a creature immune to melee damage with a 20 and 100 roll
*Muffled concerned Minotaur noises*
"You've never let me forget"
*Moves back and positions himself to get on top of her*
*trows forelegs over pony, and is now watching, along with Tracy, the scene in fornt of him*>>42722
"I'll stay off your property">>42727
>>42727>She once killed a creature immune to melee damage with a 20 and 100 roll
I was thinking about it>>42727
I love my snek
Torc finds a way to summon him so they can have a snek partyI like the idea that Mr. Snek is big and derpy until action happens
Can we do the gun thing?>>42729
[Happy tongue flick noises]
>>42730Mounts Pony>>42732I was thinking of that for myself
Also, can I free Mr. Snek from the staff?
Basically effectively destroying it, but as a result Mr. Snek just follows Torc around always in snek form?>>42732>get ancap pony as Torc's stone horse>give her this
Give him a hat too.
Make the staff intelligent, so it can transform whenever it wants.
Sneks in hats are a beautiful thing.
Consider it done, but what kind of hat?
Though his ability to take in air from outside, the air supply of the bottle currently lodged in his throat is sufficient to sustain him.
"Well? Are you waiting for something?">>42731>gun thing
Kind of like the image with the snek having a luger
And convert him into a rod after you use up all of his spells.
*is humping pony*
[Happy Horse Noises]
"outside is* compromised*, the"
Actually, there's a rod that already fits his description.https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Rod_of_the_Python
I meant will you allow it, but lets fucking do it.>>42740>>42737
Smart, Torc transforms back and does the intellegence thing.
"There you go Mr. Snek, now to get you a hat."
It's been a while since we did it like this.">>42733
[happy pony noises]
Since he's a quarterstaff, can he be made into a two-part weapon?
Thats what snek is based off of>>42744
Don't get shot training snek, but sure>>42746
"GO PICKLE AGAIN!!" she's pushing him, but not in any particular direction.
>>42745>considers having Mr. Snek break it up.
"Come on Mr. Snek, lets go into a different room."
Torc escorts Snek into a different room.
*is pickle nao*
"THffff Thfffff" are the sounds of Snek's tongue shooting in and out emphatically.
"Indeed it has."
"I like doing it like this">>42748>>42750
*is watching, really intently*
[pony sex noises]>>42751
Snek wants to watch too
Infernius will be busy for some time. Let me reiterate, this wasyour
idea. Thez on the other hand seems quite flushed.
>>42749>inb4 "mr.snake" is a female
Can Torc somehow increase Mr. Snek's INT? Actually, are his stats the same as a giant constrictor or something else?>>42752
No he doesn't>>42751
Wait, does he?
Don't curse me like this
"~Hmmm.. It seems you have found a lot more endurance since then..
[pony sex noises]
"You've grown quite a bit, ~Flashy"
*looks back and bats eyelashes*
[Don't tread on me noises]
>waiting to see
For Pickle Eyes Only
Like u didn't think of that already
"You're stronger too, since back then"
*playfully bucks back strongly, remembering how he used to do it*
*uses wings to help in up and down movement*
*looks down at drink wondering if he is really that drunk off of only a few glasses*oofda
*Still waiting to see*
*Strategically momentarily stops humping, to delay ejaculation*
i didnt think it would happen.
*resumes humping pony*
Snek is a mix desu. He shares components of the Giant Constrictor prescribed by the rod of Python, but has sentience and conditioning comparable to a wondrous figurine. In fact, that's kind of how I'm slicing snek; an unintentionally unique magical item based on dice and keks. The Giant Snek-staff or some shit, the largest of wondrous figurines.
Hey at least she gave you a way to breath before playing hide the pickle for a lenghty time
He says, after setting all this in motion. It was successful, and I've seen no contentious posts, so Infernius is occupied. Shush nao, deep innit.
It's the end of the weekend, so we're mostly just horsing around.>>42770
I'm kind of wondering if I should have Tracy invest in making her not-yet murder mace into a viper Rod.
I guess I have to wait until she's level 4 to start that though..
Are you in a different room or the same?
I love it, thanks GM.
Can I get stats for him sometime?
*starts yelling to start vibrating*
Giant constrictor stats, except with 1/2 Torcui's hp cuz familiar and cuz Torc is a waif. ^_^
*pushes back into stallion*
Is pushed back and humps back, but...
Trumpaladin stops humping and dismounts Tracy. She does not
feel or see any sign he completed the sex act
he leaves the room>>42778
Trumpaladin comes in, with beautiful orange fur, resplindent gilded armor, and now, an long and gorgeous erect horse cock, that even the grouchy old scottsman has to admit is pretty pleasant to look at
"Hey, you can do polymorph too right? Maybe not now, but in an hour or so, after this wears off, would you maybe change me into a Dragonne?"