This thread continues the ongoing RP/Shitposting game. Its based on D&D 3.5e core rules with exceptions made for just about anything. Its essentially a play-by-shitpost RPG with structural additions. Games get hairy on Saturdays, but weekends in general; weekdays are for meta and shitposting.
Most pressing of the situations is that involving Infernius, Trump, and Tracy; the former finds himself being surrounded by robots, while flying robots seem to have cut off his escape. As nimble as Uatchit is, his situation doesn't look good. Trump has fled outside the Cardashil wall, and his pursuit disengaged to secure the perimeter of the city. In short, Cardashil is now a Panopticon. Meanwhile, Tracy - er, a praying mantis who is clearly identifiable as Frank (or any of 3 other identities) - is amongst a throng headed for the teleportation gates along the perimeter of the park area.
Oh yes, and those grenades. One of the robots has char marks and scraping on it.
Meanwhile Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are having an otherwise constructive conversation in the Tower.
1163 replies and 107 files omitted.
>>61280"Oh, hey Stix. This Death... my.... uh..."
>>61284
Didn’t GM say we shouldn’t do more on off days and not focus on game days only? I forget.
>>61286I prolly did, but I wasn't thinking.
I don't promise I won't miss stuff tho
>>61281Stix seems a little nervous about the identity of your friend.
“Death... interesting name.”
>>61289Torc leans down and whispers in Stix ear
"No, this is literally fucking Death. Black robe, scythe, whole 9 yards"
>>61290“Umm... should we be worried then?”
He takes a step backward.
I've come to realize how important those birds are: if it weren't for them, I would've wandered all over the goddamn continent by now.
The Elway statue in this game is greatly underutilized.
>>61297I'd like to hear some of the things it has to say, but I'm vaguely concerned of being vaporized/nerfed by it..
Tracy wouldn't be inclined to go near it after that 'baptism' either, as far as character goes.
>>61297At who'd neglect?
>>61298Oh why? She's literally been baptized unto Elway. What could go wrong?
I'm going to place this on the board, since I feel like it's one of the better things I've made up and wrote o the spot, and it got no response in the discord:
Trumpaladin pulls out a Football, while talking to Stix
Stix: “Mind telling me how you found this instrument?”
Trumpaladin: "This specific one, or in general?"
"“I didn’t know there was a general one. Which story do you like to tell the best?”
"It's hard to say when I saw my first football. Almost like asking when you saw your first car, or ate your first basket of chicken tenders from Whataburger."
"It's been around as long as I can remember"
"But I do remember that first game my father took me to"
"It was just a high school game, really, we were there because a friend of the family had a son who was playing. My older brother was in middle school, and was going to be in high school eventually, so my dad decided to take him. And once they took him, they thought it would be pointless to get a babysitter just for me, so they took me as well
"Friday night, early October. Sun started to set as we stood in the stands"
"First I didn't pay too much attention. Went down with my mother and we got a hotdog. Way too much chili on the thing"
"But I began to watch. No, I didn't know quite what was going on. But the family friend - she was into it. Every single touch down, every movement of the ball, she was on it. It really left an impression on me. How interested she was. It made me start watching. So I watched. I knew some of the rules of the game because I would watch it on TV. Not enough to truly follow every play, but enough. I asked my dad some questions, as he pointed out the son of the family friend who was playing"
"They lost that night. But in a way, I won. I learned what it meant to route for a team. It wasn't a team I was on, but I could feel it. Taking on it's successes and its glories as your own. Assuming a sort of duty towards it. To make sure it succeeds and prospers. That's what I took away from Football that night, watching that woman, and with the excessive chili of the hotdog running down my hand. It's stuck with me"
>>61299Last time she did something related to football, she was nearly drowned in Gatorade, and got nerfed on top of it.
Now she's just sort of weirded out by the prospect of it. Not that she had very much motivation to approach the statue in the first place.
>>61301I could figure out a reason for her to want to talk to it though.
*Passes out*
>>61304Confused. Who is banging who?
>>61306
%100
This is the best conceivable afterlife
>>61305John Elway, but beyond consideration.
For one, John Elway's phallus is magnificent. I can't talk about it without causing distress to those not blessed of Elway?
"Hey Vadereim, how many wielders have you had before Flashy?"
>>61310REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
I wanted to ask him that
>>61292"Scared? Nah. Anyway, what are you up to?"
Why was this deleted from last night? >>61312Then ask him yourself,
now.
You hardly ever talk to him. Intelligent items are counted as NPCs, you know.
*i have no mouth and must REEEE*
>>61315*infernuis sees a little Dwelf girl with horns in the distance*
*infernuis stares at her for what feels like a lifetime*
*she has the hair of the 45th president and is wereing a trump brans suit*
*infernuis cries since no mouth*
>>61316*a gigantic ravine opens-up beneath the sea of opened letters, dumping you down a seemingly-infinite mail shoot. You free-fall for what feels like days, more envelopes twirling around you in a horrible cyclone, but there is no end in sight.
"The delivery never ends!" cackles an papery voice though the chaos
Trumpaladin, meanwhile, is tired
>>61319Tracy gets off of his face so he can stretch a bit.
*sobs at the thought that addy might be trump*
>>61322Let's focus on one form of supernatural horror at a time....
*without warning, thousands of razor-sharp living envelopes burst out of your anus, creating a painfully powerful thrust that rockets you deeper and deeper down into the bottomless void into at blinding speed*
>>61323The other thing is worse.
Do outsiders take their loot with them, if they return to their home plane after being killed?
*peeks at mimic jar*
"Now what should I call you, little guy.."
Trumpaladin gets up, slowly. He moves forward. Slowly, very slowly. He makes it only a few steps before his left knee seems to collapse on him. He saves the fall with his right hand, and assumes a sitting position, legs crossed
>>61313“I’m headed to find my dagger. I just don’t feel right without it. Just a habit of having it right near me at all times. What are you up to?”
>>61330>>61331*whimpers uncontrollably*
>>61330*contemplates sitting on*
>>61331"Not much. We where thinking about going to watch a trebuchet demonstration or just hanging out at the tower.
Oh, if you need help looking for something I could have Mr. Snek help you."
>"ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING ME WITHOUT MY CONSENT? THIS VIOLATES THE NAP""I'm sure he'd be happy to help"
>>61334“Cool. Is your snake friendly to strangers though?”
>>61335"Friendly enough as long as your not a gnome"
>>61336“I have no clue what a gnome is exactly, so I’m guessing I’m good then. Have fun!”
Stix takes Mr. Snek