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nuts4.jpg
Mystery Nuts
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.60316
60318 60319 60321 60323 60324 60327 60367 60495 61609
This thread continues the ongoing RP/Shitposting game. Its based on D&D 3.5e core rules with exceptions made for just about anything. Its essentially a play-by-shitpost RPG with structural additions. Games get hairy on Saturdays, but weekends in general; weekdays are for meta and shitposting.

Most pressing of the situations is that involving Infernius, Trump, and Tracy; the former finds himself being surrounded by robots, while flying robots seem to have cut off his escape. As nimble as Uatchit is, his situation doesn't look good. Trump has fled outside the Cardashil wall, and his pursuit disengaged to secure the perimeter of the city. In short, Cardashil is now a Panopticon. Meanwhile, Tracy - er, a praying mantis who is clearly identifiable as Frank (or any of 3 other identities) - is amongst a throng headed for the teleportation gates along the perimeter of the park area.
Oh yes, and those grenades. One of the robots has char marks and scraping on it.

Meanwhile Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are having an otherwise constructive conversation in the Tower.
1163 replies and 104 files omitted.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61006
61008 61009
Okay seriously, what the hell are these disguises, what do they do, how do they work, and why can Trumpaladin not just look like captain Kirk? He's supposed to be fuckable, and an orangutan is not fuckable
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61007
>>61002
>"Little pony, I think I know a way to make the lady give us access to the utilities level. Do you trust me?"
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61008
61010 61012
1305600844125.jpg
>>61005
Oh, I thought you were referring to the "sacrificial cauldron" meaning to the name.
>>61006
The disguise is generated with Dust of Illusion: it disguises the creator as if with the Disguise Self spell. The illusion lasts two hours. You could get a reflex save to avoid being disguised if you wanted to. I disguised Brad as an orangutan named Clyde because memes.
The hat is an item that I made up, that is meant to adorn the wearer in the most professional clothing imaginable, so that the character looks dressed to impress in any circumstance: it makes for a good prop in role-play, but also a helpful tool in the case of hasty diplomacy checks (which can take all kinds of circumstantial penalties).
>orangutan is not fuckable
This one is.
He looks sharp, confident, and ready to pick up bitches by the dozen.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61009
>>61006
Tracy could use her dust to make him look like captain kirk, but I like the professional Mr. Clyde gig better.
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61010
61011
>>61008
Nah, his name orginally meant: Thor's cauldron.

Turn's out Thor used his league deep cauldron for almost endless ale.
Truely a norse story
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61011
61014 61049
>>61010
>Decanter of Endless Ale
Best artifact ever.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61012
61013
>>61008
>This orangutan is fuckable
But it's an orangutan
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61013
61015 61016
>>61012
A very well-dressed, handsome, properly-groomed and charming orangutan. We're running on cartoon logic here.

That Bitch is a racemixer anyway.
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61014
>>61011
>two different command words
>one brings forth pretty much normal ale.
>the second brings forth a magical ale that is highly flamible when exposed to electricity
>Torc shoots lightning from his arse
¿¿¿
>profit
Anonymous
Llvh5
?
No.61015
>>61013
>That Bitch is a racemixer anyway.
She fucks monkeys.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61016
61017
>>61013
But it's an Orangutan

Whatever. If she says no, He'll call her a racist, and if she's hesitant, explain that it's the current year
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61017
61018
>>61016
Now you're thinking.
This is one good-looking orangutan too.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61018
61019 61026
Look of Doom.png
>>61017

Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61019
61020
>>61018
I'm not about to give up on this Clyde business, m8.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61020
61021 61024
>>61019
Why
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61021
61022 61023
>>61020
OrangutanXmonster truck fetish?
Anonymous
73pjI
?
No.61022
>>61021
Don’t give the internet more ideas! Darn it... I feel it, people are already drawing it...
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61023
61025
>>61021
Just no, okay. It's weird enough to jack off to a human on a horse. That's enough
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61024
>>61020
Because I find the idea of a tall, handsome well-dressed, cartoonishly human-proportioned orangutan showing up to the city in his electric blue monster truck and immediately becoming the most popular man in the country, because everyone wants to get with the cool reality tv ape, to be hilarious beyond measure.
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61025
61026
>>61023
He doesn't literally turn into an orangutan: he just looks like one.
And the hat makes him look so well-dressed that everyone treats him like they would a human celebrity.
Anonymous
Llvh5
?
No.61026
>>61018
>>61025
Its like that movie with regan.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61027
61028 61029 61031 61049 61393 61399
You know what, fuck it. I'm done fighting Tracy's faggot's autism.

>>60969
As That Bitch stands on or near the stage, she hears a massive revving of the kind that would bring tears to the eyes of any youth, because goddamn it's an awesome revving sound. A particularly impressive large green Monster Truck appears, and in it's window the most charming orangutan you've ever seen, wearing a red trucker's hat and a stripped black suit. The monster truck revs furiously as it demolishes a stand. Then another stand, the store keepers fleeing but admiring the awesomeness of the destruction of property. Flames shoot from the monster truck's exhaust tubes as it damn near dances about the fair grounds. The Orangutan gives That Bitch a wink as he does so.

The monster truck settles down and comes nearer that Bitch. The orangutan walks out in the coolest walk ever seen in a primate, like he already owns the world. "Hey now. My name ain't important, but my business is. You see, I hear you in the business of being fabulous, and I'm looking for some one to sell my brand. I got branches accross two cities, and we're expanding further. Selling everything from T Shirts to live entertainment. Got a whole league going. And I'm bettin' you could hook me up with some talent."

He gives her a charming look and approaches closer, letting her league of guards know just how awesome he is. "But if you're buyin', boy I got reality TV shows like you wouldn't believe. Tell me now, how many minorities - orangutan's like myself, you got hostin' TV series? What's your best ratings on those? Boi, you ain't got nothing like the splended crowds I draw over yonder, that I can tell you."

*acts charming*
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61028
>>61027
EMBRACE THE AUTISM
Also, kek...

Can Torc go talk to saw-horse if he can convince Death to bring her drink?
BXH7v
?
No.61029
61030 61031 61053 61393
[1d20+25 = 34]
>>61027
Rolling a perform check (dance+tumble) to do monster truck tricks in the square and entertain the audience to show them that they are in fact performers.
"~Vroooooooooooom! Vroooooooooom!"
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61030
61033
>>61029
Add the bonus for Trump's Eagle's Splendor if you haven't already
Anonymous
Llvh5
?
No.61031
61032 61033
>>61029
>>61027
*mumbles something about never getting to see ana again*
*whimpers with the sadness of 10000 abandoned corgis*
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61032
61034
>>61031
I feel like you don't appreciate how far we have to go to try to get Infernius back
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61033
61036
>>61030
It's already more than 30 (Extraordinary performance), but sure.
>>61031
*pays respects to minotaur lost in postal limbo*
Anonymous
Llvh5
?
No.61034
61035
>>61032
Get back?
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61035
>>61034
He's not dead, so he's not in the Entertron.
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61036
61037
>>61033
>Infernius is currrently stuck in limbo rather than being taken to the underworld cause Death is on a date with Torc
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61037
61039
>>61036
Topkek!
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61039
61041
>>61037
>hundreds of people are waiting to be taken to the underworld
>Death finally appears
>a chorus of "WHERE WERE YOU?" Rings out
>"On a date" Death says smuggly
>all these dead people wondering what kind of evil devil like man Death is dating

>...

>meanwhile
>"I still want that gnome dinner"
"I'll fucking fireball you"
>"Do it you fucking wimp"
>Casts fireball
>Snek somehow reflects it
>Torc blows all his facial hair off with a fireball
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61040
61042
1496187300870.png
>Is not actually sure where to go from here
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61041
61043
>>61039
Kek
>tfw you roll a 4 and fail to beat your own familiar's spell resistance.
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61042
61044 61045
>>61040
Neither am I..
Roll Diplomacy after seeing their reaction, I guess...
It'll either work and we'll somehow get exclusive celebrity VIP access, or end up very awkward and potentially fatal...
Anonymous
28InT
?
No.61043
>>61041
I was imagining more tennis style
>cue wii tennis music
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61044
>>61042
*Polishes Shoe of Good Fortune*
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61045
61046
>>61042
So is the idea that he makes high level access a condition of buying adds?
Mrs. Sentry
BXH7v
?
No.61046
>>61045
Idk.. wait for GM.
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61049
61050
>>60997
Infernius isn't dead, he's sleeping
>>61000
I missed something, nice footballs tho
>>61011
Korak had one of those you know
>>61027
wut
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61050
61052
>>61049
>wut
Exactly what it sounds like.
Anonymous
B7fFk
?
No.61051
f4385c8c85df9a2082344710a67c6f7f9c30cceadf061f9088e2089d5b536e52.gif
I need to stay off of 8chan...
Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61052
61053
>>61050
Doubtle-wut? I still haven't figured out wut with the last wut
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61053
61054 61393
>>61052
Brad is disguised as a well dressed and fashionable orangutan, named Clyde. He's riding Tracy, who is aptly disguised as a huge, flame-spewing smoke-snorting monster truck.

The two had the idea to use their combined Charisma checks make themselves look like big shots to impress the locals, in hopes of following That Bitch towards wherever she's going, to get some VIP celebrity access deeper into the dome.
Tracy just made a performance check to impress the crowd with her monster truck maneuvers here >>61029 , and Brad is getting ready to roll Diplomacy after gauging their reactions.

Anonymous
vPzPk
?
No.61054
61055 61056
>>61053
And the crowd is as stunned as I am. I'm actually curious as to how this is going, and you can consider that a degree of receptivity in the audience.
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61055
61067
giphy.gif
>>61054
"~Vrooooooooom! ~VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
*snorts twin steams of smoke and does another backflip*

B7fFk
?
No.61056
61057 61058
[1d20+60 = 71]
>>61054
Rolling for fucking everything Combined profession and diplomacy with Eagles Splendor attached. If you don't like that just use something else, like +38 for diplomacy, +32 for seduction, or something...
Anonymous
BXH7v
?
No.61057
61058 61059
dd-meme-stealth-is-optional-animated.gif
>>61056
>Profession
Don't get cocky. This plan is as autistic as is.
B7fFk
?
No.61058
Screen-Shot-2017-01-13-at-1.40.39-PM.png
>>61056
He woos them with tales of the magnificence of the American Football League

>>61057
May Elway guide him
\r