This thread continues the ongoing RP/Shitposting game. Its based on D&D 3.5e core rules with exceptions made for just about anything. Its essentially a play-by-shitpost RPG with structural additions. Games get hairy on Saturdays, but weekends in general; weekdays are for meta and shitposting.
Most pressing of the situations is that involving Infernius, Trump, and Tracy; the former finds himself being surrounded by robots, while flying robots seem to have cut off his escape. As nimble as Uatchit is, his situation doesn't look good. Trump has fled outside the Cardashil wall, and his pursuit disengaged to secure the perimeter of the city. In short, Cardashil is now a Panopticon. Meanwhile, Tracy - er, a praying mantis who is clearly identifiable as Frank (or any of 3 other identities) - is amongst a throng headed for the teleportation gates along the perimeter of the park area.
Oh yes, and those grenades. One of the robots has char marks and scraping on it.
Meanwhile Stix, Torcuil, Snek, and Thez are having an otherwise constructive conversation in the Tower.
1163 replies and 104 files omitted.
Okay seriously, what the hell are these disguises, what do they do, how do they work, and why can Trumpaladin not just look like captain Kirk? He's supposed to be fuckable, and an orangutan is not fuckable
>>61005Oh, I thought you were referring to the "sacrificial cauldron" meaning to the name.
>>61006The disguise is generated with Dust of Illusion: it disguises the creator as if with the Disguise Self spell. The illusion lasts two hours. You could get a reflex save to avoid being disguised if you wanted to. I disguised Brad as an orangutan named Clyde because memes.
The hat is an item that I made up, that is meant to adorn the wearer in the most professional clothing imaginable, so that the character looks dressed to impress in any circumstance: it makes for a good prop in role-play, but also a helpful tool in the case of hasty diplomacy checks (which can take all kinds of circumstantial penalties).
>orangutan is not fuckableThis one is.
He looks sharp, confident, and ready to pick up bitches by the dozen.
>>61006Tracy could use her dust to make him look like captain kirk, but I like the professional Mr. Clyde gig better.
>>61008Nah, his name orginally meant: Thor's cauldron.
Turn's out Thor used his league deep cauldron for almost endless ale.
Truely a norse story
>>61012A very well-dressed, handsome, properly-groomed and charming orangutan. We're running on cartoon logic here.
That Bitch is a racemixer anyway.
>>61013But it's an Orangutan
Whatever. If she says no, He'll call her a racist, and if she's hesitant, explain that it's the current year
>>61016Now you're thinking.
This is one good-looking orangutan too.
>>61018I'm not about to give up on this Clyde business, m8.
>>61020OrangutanXmonster truck fetish?
>>61021Don’t give the internet more ideas! Darn it... I feel it, people are already drawing it...
>>61021Just no, okay. It's weird enough to jack off to a human on a horse. That's enough
>>61020Because I find the idea of a tall, handsome well-dressed, cartoonishly human-proportioned orangutan showing up to the city in his electric blue monster truck and immediately becoming the most popular man in the country, because everyone wants to get with the cool reality tv ape, to be hilarious beyond measure.
>>61023He doesn't literally turn into an orangutan: he just looks like one.
And the hat makes him look so well-dressed that everyone treats him like they would a human celebrity.
>>61018>>61025Its like that movie with regan.
You know what, fuck it. I'm done fighting Tracy's faggot's autism.
>>60969As That Bitch stands on or near the stage, she hears a massive revving of the kind that would bring tears to the eyes of any youth, because goddamn it's an awesome revving sound. A particularly impressive large green Monster Truck appears, and in it's window the most charming orangutan you've ever seen, wearing a red trucker's hat and a stripped black suit. The monster truck revs furiously as it demolishes a stand. Then another stand, the store keepers fleeing but admiring the awesomeness of the destruction of property. Flames shoot from the monster truck's exhaust tubes as it damn near dances about the fair grounds. The Orangutan gives That Bitch a wink as he does so.
The monster truck settles down and comes nearer that Bitch. The orangutan walks out in the coolest walk ever seen in a primate, like he already owns the world. "Hey now. My name ain't important, but my business is. You see, I hear you in the business of being fabulous, and I'm looking for some one to sell my brand. I got branches accross two cities, and we're expanding further. Selling everything from T Shirts to live entertainment. Got a whole league going. And I'm bettin' you could hook me up with some talent."
He gives her a charming look and approaches closer, letting her league of guards know just how awesome he is. "But if you're buyin', boy I got reality TV shows like you wouldn't believe. Tell me now, how many minorities - orangutan's like myself, you got hostin' TV series? What's your best ratings on those? Boi, you ain't got nothing like the splended crowds I draw over yonder, that I can tell you."
*acts charming*
>>61027EMBRACE THE AUTISMAlso, kek...
Can Torc go talk to saw-horse if he can convince Death to bring her drink?
[1d20+25 = 34]>>61027Rolling a perform check (dance+tumble) to do monster truck tricks in the square and entertain the audience to show them that they are in fact performers.
"~Vroooooooooooom! Vroooooooooom!"
>>61029Add the bonus for Trump's Eagle's Splendor if you haven't already
>>61029>>61027*mumbles something about never getting to see ana again*
*whimpers with the sadness of 10000 abandoned corgis*
>>61031I feel like you don't appreciate how far we have to go to try to get Infernius back
>>61030It's already more than 30 (Extraordinary performance), but sure.
>>61031*pays respects to minotaur lost in postal limbo*
>>61034He's not dead, so he's not in the Entertron.
>>61037>hundreds of people are waiting to be taken to the underworld>Death finally appears>a chorus of "WHERE WERE YOU?" Rings out>"On a date" Death says smuggly>all these dead people wondering what kind of evil devil like man Death is dating>...>meanwhile>"I still want that gnome dinner""I'll fucking fireball you"
>"Do it you fucking wimp">Casts fireball>Snek somehow reflects it>Torc blows all his facial hair off with a fireball >Is not actually sure where to go from here
>>61040Neither am I..
Roll Diplomacy after seeing their reaction, I guess...
It'll either work and we'll somehow get exclusive celebrity VIP access, or end up very awkward and potentially fatal...
>>61041I was imagining more tennis style
>cue wii tennis music >>61042*Polishes Shoe of Good Fortune*
>>61042So is the idea that he makes high level access a condition of buying adds?
>>60997Infernius isn't dead, he's sleeping
>>61000I missed something, nice footballs tho
>>61011Korak had one of those you know
>>61027wut
>>61049>wutExactly what it sounds like.
I need to stay off of 8chan...
>>61050Doubtle-wut? I still haven't figured out wut with the last wut
>>61052Brad is disguised as a well dressed and fashionable orangutan, named Clyde. He's riding Tracy, who is aptly disguised as a huge, flame-spewing smoke-snorting monster truck.
The two had the idea to use their combined Charisma checks make themselves look like big shots to impress the locals, in hopes of following That Bitch towards wherever she's going, to get some VIP celebrity access deeper into the dome.
Tracy just made a performance check to impress the crowd with her monster truck maneuvers here
>>61029 , and Brad is getting ready to roll Diplomacy after gauging their reactions.
>>61053And the crowd is as stunned as I am. I'm actually curious as to how this is going, and you can consider that a degree of receptivity in the audience.
>>61054"~Vrooooooooom!
~VROOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!"
*snorts twin steams of smoke and does another backflip*
[1d20+60 = 71]>>61054Rolling for fucking everything
Combined profession and diplomacy with Eagles Splendor attached. If you don't like that just use something else, like +38 for diplomacy, +32 for seduction, or something... >>61056He woos them with tales of the magnificence of the American Football League
>>61057May Elway guide him\r