RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 113 files omitted.
>>59253Wish I could make an item that did the same with Bluff too. Then she'd be set.
>>59250My money is on Snek desu
>>59256U mean like a mask? "Smirk"
>>59257Same
>>59256I love my +25 bluff bonus
>>59257I meant like her Dust of Illusion, only for bluff, but yes. It'd be great to upgrade her Mustache-and-glasses.
>>59258Too bad sorcerers don't get Glibness
>"Sir! Your gold is cursed! You need to give it to us so that it won't kill you.">Rolls 1d20+54 Um.... Trumpaladin goes through the wall
>>59261At least get to 9th level spellcasting first.
>>59260>tfw game mechanics have NPCs as complete knobs"Oi, I've got this small square peg that fits loosely in this big round hole, but I don't know what to do with this big round peg. Also, there's a small square hole I can plug with my finger"
>>59265That's literally why he got Theurge, so he can cast divine spells
Stix sits down and seems lost in thought.
>>59266Well, GM hasn't incinerated Trump yet so I'm guessing he was able to make it through...
*immediately grabs IDs for self and Fae from whoever is standing near the hole*
>>59269"You must kill them all" >>59268No, it means he can cast divine spells. I thought we went over this a long time ago.
>>59270I'm waiting on Infernius dammit >>59271He's not going to be here soon
>>59271What list tho?
Cleric, Paladin, Druid, or Ranger?
There isn't really a divine spell list
>>59274The spell list. Theurges don't do "domains" or w/e, they just cast spells.
>>59275I thought they just advanced whatever Divine spellcasting class they already had?
>>59275Would you mind linking me this spell list?
Because Theurges build upon character's spellcasting in
both arcane and divine determined by their class, and Torc can't cast divine spells
>>59277Just post good memes and you'll get appropriate spells for them.
>>59280>>59279But I don't wanna do that
>>59272Awww
How do you know that?Okay well I'll wrap up his situation then.
When we last left Infernius, he was being set on fire. He got some really nice dice rolls, and some really crappy ones.
>>59276It seems you're right.
>>59277https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:SpellsTracy is right, he only gets 1st level divine spells at this point. Its a pity too, cuz I misinterpreted the data (I thought that being a theurge allowed the caster to use their caster level to determine the arcane/divine spells they could cast)
>>59279Also this
>>59281Don't be a lazy faggot.
You only get all those spell haxx because we like memes.
>>59285Not to be contentious - and I will accommodate to an appropriate degree - but wasn't the meme magician thing
your idea? e_e
By "your" I mean Torcuil's
>>59284I made a fucking spell list damn it
>>59283But there are no "1st level divine spells" that I can find, only classes that use divine spells
>>59286I regret that idea
Turns out Torc qualifies for absolutely 0 prestige classes.
>>59292So does this mean Torc casts as a second level cleric?
>>59293You could be a archmage, if you take any metamagic feat, or an edritch knight if you learned martial weapon profficiency.
>>59293Negotiably, yes. Tbh, I had thought theurge was a haxx for equal cleric spells, but I had been operating in err
Oh wait, I almost forgot I'm GM
>pouf Torcuil's Theurge level(s?) are exchanged for meme magican levels >>59296Did you consider those Paladin of Tyranny/Slaughter spells for Tracy yet?
Basically here's the thing. I had envisioned, intended, and resolved that the skinniest-assed MF'er (Torcuil) was gonna get spell hax. Since I determined long ago that many divine spells should be arcane equally/also, and vice versa, and THEN stumbled across Theurge, I figured this was a neat and easy resolution. Unfortunately, I was wrong. So, in the same vein of TRUMP GOOD, now there's Meme Magican (sp intentional) as a class
>>59296You mean sorcerer...
Right?
>>59295I will damned, something Torc is actually qualified for
>>59297Got a reference/link or am I flying blind
>>59299I'm still trying to allow him to use cleric spells. Do you want me to not?
>>59300While we're handing out gibs can I have Divine Might for Trumpaladin? Maybe Sacred Shield? The "rebalanced paladin" includes two bonus feats including those from the Divine Champion
>>59301Oh, okay. What Blackguard
should have been. Makes sense.
>>59302Links faggot, am drunk
>>59300I'd rather Torc just be a sorcerer.
I mean, I have a spell list and shit for a lvl 17 sorcerer
And I wasn't really enjoying meme maging as much as I thought I would... >>59304Just meme a wizard to do the magic for you
>>59307Just meme Gandalf or someone to fight for you and do cool stuff and cast the spells you want
>>59307Not disappoint, just,... disappoint Xp
Seriously, I had hoped that giving Torc clerical spells (again, cuz lots of specific spells - Airwalk for example - should be cross-class spells) would be of benefit
>>59302Yeah, you should've taken Divine Might a while ago..
I only never bothered with it because Tracy's Char is so low.
>Sacred ShieldWhat's that?
Is there a profane equivalent?
>>59308………………
I am of confusion
>>59309I just wasn't enjoying the whole gimick, it was fun at first, but then it just kinda drug on.
>>59311Say what you will, but that "Oh lawd Jesus" post was one of the finest moment of game desu. Still we can re-work it if it is preferrable
>>59312Uh... what bread was that?
>>59313Oh, like I know off hand, I don't even remember the context. You do realize we account for about 57k of the 59k posts on this board?
Stix feels around his cloak for his dagger and remembers it was thrown in battle with Thez.
>>59319Can we cite SRD sourcebooks?
I've had my eye on Arterial Strike.
>>59317Its still stuck in the support-beams of the port walls. Don't worry tho, mundane daggers are a dime a dozen and easily replaceable (ask Tracy Xp)
>>59320Nigger, you've already asked for gibs tonight
>>59321Not to Stix. That one his sentimental to him.
>>59319Oh no. Its a seriously exhaustive manual.
>RIP my spare time>>59323Noted. The dagger in question is unmoved, for precisely the same reason
>>59322>>59319I want Divine Vigor, if we can take stuff from that book.
>>59325Fuck off
>>59324Tracy's faggot insists Divine Might is SRD
>>59323>Stix Dagger's are specialTracy lost
all of her weapons, including her "dark" and "edgy" knives when she handed them over to the security at Cardishore five months ago
>>59326It is.
I noticed that feats are introduced by sourcebooks, but the feats that were considered to be balanced made it into the 3.5 SRD.
Divine Might is worth training for.
>>59327*desire to retrieve daggers intensifies*
It looks like Infernius's faggot won't be returning tonight, so I'll be in bed soon.
>>59327And who's fault was that?
>>59269Amist all the,... contention, Thez sits relatively before Stix, sipping "gently" from a glass of clear liquid, and wondering about how to proceed.
"So,... do you,... regret,... killing,...."
>>59329"Just wait for me, girls..." Tracy says under her breath
In my defense, I didn't expect to get teleported in the middle of security.
>>59331“Myself? That’s the funny thing. I remember right before I did it thinking that it must be done. Like I was doing everyone a favor by doing it. I partially wish I didnt, but I don’t know if it was avoidable.”
>>59330Infernius entered the discord just now
Welp, found an old post of mine that will always be relevant
>>6560 →In the meantime, I'm hoping Torc and Snek arrive before they kill eachother
>>59335I’m hoping they arrive so Stix can properly meet them. Torc only got a couple of phrases out before Stix when after Tracy... and left him.
[3d20 = 30]
Kill all metalniggers!
>>59331What was the fate of Trumpaladin's parting gift to the 5 shazbots?
>>59340But your not sorry for leaving me.
>>59344No not really, now realize how Thez feels
>>59345Shes the most powerful, so she watches the city.
Alright. Where we last left off, Infernius was getting set on fire. I rolled a 6d20 for his saves, but I'll allow his player to make the roll, and weigh the results against my rolls.