RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 111 files omitted.
>>59455Things, got it
>>59454"
He's afraid of fire," Thez whispers overloud to Torcuil.
Shhhhhhhhh >>59455It’s always one more..
Your never satisfied!
https://youtu.be/OxHAN6JIkNo>>59456“Not as interesting as gnomes I bet.... what are gnomes by the way?”
>>59457“Hey! It is a perfectly normal fear out of all the things most are afraid of irrationally.”
>>59458"Its not a criticism, I just figure that since he's the magic guy he should know. By the way, doesn't I'nis' sword catch fire sometimes? Probably better mention to him too,... still haven't figured out what to do about Lenos yet tho." she says holding her chin.
>>59457*whispering* "noted"
>>59458"Small humeniod creatures thattalkreallyfuckingfast. Really good at engineering though"
>>59460"Careful, they sometimes explode," Thez chuckles.
How many bots are surrounding That Bitch?
"In fact, if you let snek eat one and then turn him into a staff, all you'd have to do is set off an explosion and say that the gnome exploded."
>>59463It'd suck if one exploded inside Snek though.
>>59462None, but since Trump isn't escaping the arial bots she's calling in are proceeding in through the roof.
>>59459Given that Infernius is not running, and given that the situation on the ground is a bit different than previously estimated. Accordingly, these are my actions:
>>59438 >>59430 >>59428 >>59460“Huh... so, I remember you have this... meme magic. Think a pony like me could learn something like that?”
>>59465Tracy silently inches closer towards That Bitch.
"And incidentally, is Snek on file in the Entertron? I mean I know he's a magical creature, but I don't see why it wouldn't work,"
>>59470Items can be repaired at half the price it took to create them, right?
>>59471Yes but this would be more for situations like if the mummy room was set on fire, which I was certain would happen but somehow didn't
If you want an idea of what it is like to wake up in the Entertron, refer to Gantz
>>59467"I could maybe teach you a few spells"
>>59470"Yeah, he's not so lets do that"
I take it if Snek dies he'll be a staff?
>>59472Kefka underestimated our party's ADD.
>>59474He turns into a staff, and cannot be activated again for three days.
>>59476That's not what I meant...
He may need a gnome or two when ever it happens though
*plays a generic Fashwave song*
>>59476this
>>59475Very much so. He finds the party curious. He's not sure if he wants to blow them up or let themselves blow up and watch.
K, so Tracy is closing on That Bitch, but low key; bluff check.
I think its now Infernius' turn
>>59484He'd make a better Barbarian.
>>59484Infernuis is a hitlerist.
>>59481Not in range, they're maintaining a distance of 25 yards.
>>59488*casts earthquake*
"Fucking robots REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
ME AM GONNA KILL ALL OF THESE FUCKERS THEN ME AM GONNA RUN YOU THROUGH WITH MY ZWEIHANDER YOU RACEMIXING WHORE! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
While the red bull messes up the place, Tracy uses the distraction to discreetly inch closer to That Bitch, until she's withing ~30 ft.
In her turn of course.
>>59492Good move, but that leaves everyone in that area immobile
>>59494Uhm, did you not notice the earthquake?
Everyone roll a reflex save, modified preferred - its dex
>>59502You know what... I deserve that
[1d20+12 = 29]
[1d20+18 = 29]
Fucking rolling!
>>59504Im not attacking you, i just think its kinda strange you get so many 2s
>>59498Not yet you're not
Uhm, how r u getting these modifiers? Feats/synergies?
>>59506I'm just frustrated.
And here I was doing so well, stealing IDs for everyone...
>>59508My roll is just Tracy's normal reflex + dex + char
[11d20 = 125]
Well, it looks like only Infernius falls over from the spell. Additionally,
3 of the shazbots fall over.
In addition to that, everyone roll a d100 regardless of saving throw
>>59512Is That Bitch, in range of the spell?
[2d20 = 17]
Alright. Everyone who got 25 or less gets to roll another reflex save DC 20, to avoid falling into the fissures that have opened in the ground.
>>59525Maybe Hitler really is a deity...
[1d20 = 3]>>59528Oh shit rolling to save brad!
[internal pony screaming]
>>59529Wait, is it Trump or Fae who failed?
GM, do you believe in the hollow earth theory by any chance?
>>59535Can Fae roll a reflex save to grab Trunpaladin?
It looks like I won't be the only one to lose all of his stuff in this city...
>>59539Why would she? Where is this idea of magical wish-rolls coming from?
>>59541To many action movies i guess
Welp, it looks like Trump and one of the shazbots fall in, and since everyone is immobile (not flying) no one can prevent them from being crushed to death as the fissure closes.
Trump summarily wakes up in the Entertron.
But he's still hungry
>>59541She's immediately next to him, so she could try to catch him with her mouth
>>59544"YEE BASTAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!" emanates from the center of the earth...Poor Vadereim... He didn't deserve such a cruel fate...Tracy bottom jaw drops to the floor, and she promptly gtfo's the area.
>>59544There's not like another level of city beneath the top?
>>59546Tracy makes a silent oath to convert Infernius into sausages.
Tracy ditches the retarded bull, and makes a break for the perimeter, stealthily, deciding that her precious knives can wait, while she goes to the Entertron to console her husband.
>>59551Ya' done fucked up!
>>59553Lesson learned never trust tracy
>>59553Hmm... I can see a battle against the whole party forming. Tracy attacks/kills Infernius, Thez domes the same to Tracy... maybe
>>59479 was right...