RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 112 files omitted.
>>60066I don't think GM will let us stay and fight
>>60069Meh, if i cant fight i guess ill leave.
>>60069It wasn't one of the options.
>>60070What were you going to do in the first place?
>>60073I was hoping to get Tracy's equipment back before the real throat-slitting began...
>>60074Tracy sighs, realizing that she's probably not going to be able to get her beloved knives back next session.
>from the outside
*Toes sink into chest fluff*
"There you go..." Tracy says, patting her chest that seems slightly poofier from the disturbance but otherwise unchanged
>>60084*walks by him, ignoring the screaming bull and humming to herself nonchalantly*
>>60086Shhhhhh... It'll be over soon...
>>60088*fluff poofs out, making Tracy visibly double in size*
Are you sure you want to try that?*static begins to pull Infernius closer somewhat*
[1d20+32 = 40]>>59987Scenarion 3: Trumpaladin uses the full force of his charisma to see if That Bitch wants sum fug
I have the right kind of autism that allows me to find the posts we were talking about.
After Rockefeller died, Soros sought to claim his throne in the Abyss.
>>5897 →>>8619 →>>60093Berry could rule both planes though.
>>60094Berry should ally with the haus of thez
>>60095I figured Berry would be an Abomination (infernal), rather than a regular fiend, desu. A borderline goddess.
>>60098I just think epic level monsters are cool.
[1d20+43 = 55]
Spellcraft to turn Infernius into a pickle
>>60101Just cast Polymorph Any Object. You don't need to roll.
>>60102Eh, spellcraft but oh well.
One sec and I'll figure out the DC for saving
>>60111We were shitposting on the discord that Berry Ebil was more powerful than Soros could ever dream to be.
Well? What's the canon going to be?
>>60122Thecannonwillbe800,sorryInevergotbacktoyouonthat
Kidding aside, I don't know; I've seen votes and rolls and suggestions and requests that aren't among the options, and all manner of what have you. What I haven't seen and no, I'm not logging in for the moment is a clear statement that reflects what everyone wants, pertaining to the three choices
>>60125Ikr. I wanted to knoe more.
>>60126I'm not just being coy, its that each path has a particular brand of spoilers. Personally, I prefer the second path also, just as long as no one is gonna get pissy cuz "muh swag".
>>60128Bracers of Relentless might are OP without a hidden curse, function, or consequence
>>60129Definitely. I don't think any other item gives such a drastic boost to stats.
Infernius had better make sure nobody sunders his belt while he's wearing them though.
>>60130Cursed items are cool that way. It's more fun for the most powerful magick items to have some kind of drawback, consequence, or key to activate them.
>>60131Also a good way to punish anyone who looted your home-made equipment from your cold dead body.
>>60127But i love my arms.
>>60132I like the fighting shadow thing better though.
I wanna craft some of that Russian nerve agent.
>>60139Oh oh can i help craft stuff?
>>60140I'm surprised you haven't been crafting very much at all.
Ever thought of upgrading your sword?
>>60141It's already super fucking high powered
>>60139>wants more thingsI think
you should lose the horse shoes, the chain, the sword and so forth in Cardishore
>>60142>high powered.It's just a +2 greatsword of Flaming Burst. He could turn it into a Flame Tongue, or add all sorts of effects to it.
>>60124It's not really my choice to make, so I'll stay out of it
>>60143>>60140Infernius is a Cleric of the Good Domain, so he's the only one who could craft Holy weapons.
>>60145Clerics get the best equipment.
>>60159
You can lose the shoes
>>60160The enemies will have to catch her first.
>>60161Then they can actually fight Infernius and Trump first
>>60145It's going to cost me an arm and a leg to get some good Unholy equipment..
>>60163Then again, she could get Unholy Strike in 3 levels anyway.
Torc, Snek, and Stix stroll in the lobby of the tower.
"Alright, you said you needed gear. What are you looking at?"
Through the skies, riding down from a cosmic range, is the man with lasso and stern face. Angry, resolves face. He rides attop a fiendish horse. Devil horse, black and snorting fire, flaming mane, galloping through the air
>>60173Look for love in all the wrong places...
“Well... I’m looking for a better bow hopefully, some leg protection would be nice, and I got to swing by the port to get my dagger back.”
>>60175*sniff, sniff*
"At the tower. (I get ur soul, iz contract)"
>>60177"Reee you don't get my whole soul. Maybe for like a week. Why not a barrel of apples or something?"
>>60176"So, you need a new bow, bracers, and you wanna get your dagger back. Okay, follow me"
Torc leads Stix to the crafting room
>>60178"'Tis the
price."
*tracks with debil-senses*
>>60179Stix follows close behind
>>60180"But I already gave away my soul horsey. A barrel of apples? Some cuddles?"
>>60183"Ur not using it right now anyway. Gibe."
>>60184"Soul belongs with waifu."
>>60184"But pony.... Anyways,
track him. Find him"
>>60185*Mutters something about "death do us part"*
>>60182"Alright, time to find a short bow machine..."
>>60186"If I find him, gibe soul. I'll gibe id back if u need it, but mine."
>>60188*carries Brad towards tower*
>>60188"Pony why you gotta be so greedy. Don't you love me?"
>>60191"Maybe like a shared arrangement or something?"
>>60192"Iz ur soul, but I get to keep it. I'll keep it safe, don't worry."
>>60187“What would a short bow machine look like?”
>>60193"Like a Trust arrangement? Uh... maybe"
>>60195"I'll keep it safe. I promise.
I keep your baby safe, don't I?"
[1d20 = 16]>>60194"Er, I'm not quite sure. I'd say follow Mr. Snek, he's good at finding stuff"
Perception for Snek
>>60196".... We'll speak more on this when the slight against me has been avenged.
Yipee Ki-yay!"
Trumpaladin rides the devil horse across the endless skies
>>60197Eh, good enough.
After a little search they stumble upon the machine
"Ah here we go. Now to see if it'll work"
>>60199Sorry for the delay, but I thought you were going to follow up with how it was activated.
“How does it work? Is there a lever? Does it need materials to build one?”