RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.
We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.
Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 105 files omitted.
>>59355Wait, why is Trump rolling?
Trump successfully escaped, he doesn't need to roll.
[6d20 = 55]>>59356To compare dice rolls with Infernius
Rolling
Can I get a quick rundown on what would've happened since Infernius's faggot returned? Tracy's next course of action will depend on what happened to Infernius.
>>59362I should've communicated my plans.. I hadn't expected Infernius or Fae to be seen ahead of time..
Fukkin daylight savings time
>>59364Kek, it's been throwing me off all day.
*reaches out with mind looking for knives*
>>59366I picture it looking a bit darker when Tracy wants to find her instruments of death.
>>59367kek, that's exactly how I'd imagine it.
"Are you going to Scarborough fair....
parsely, sage, rosemary and thyme....
Re-member me, to one who lives there
She, once was, a true love of mine..."
>>59369My favorite part of the song is:
Tell her to find me an acre of land
Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme
Between the salt water and the sea strand
Then she’ll be a true love of mine
>>59370"Tell her to reap it with a sickle of leather
Parsley sage rosemary and thyme
And gather it all in a bunch of heather
Then she'll be a true love of mine"
>>59371I am looking up the lyrics, but I can’t find this one part I swear I remember where the woman, knowing it is impossible, trys the things in the song anyway, and regains the love of the singer... maybe someone made that part up for a happy ending to the tune?
>>59367That's pretty much exactly what she looks like beneath her disguise btw.
>>59372It's not in Simon and Garfunkel's version of the song, that I can tell you
Will we be able to play again tonight?
>>59376Sad stick noises... which is just silence if you think about it.
>>59375I'm planning for it. I'm headed out for some errands with Lenos' fgt for the next few hours, but ~5p (pst) I'll be here for the duration. Apologies for last night, I got way drunk waiting for INfernius to return (nobully), but there's several reasons I didn't advance the story cuz there's elements that the party in general and Infernius in particular are unaware of.
>>59379I'll see if I can keep up
>>59384Pic unrelated, besides I know urs
[14d8 = 74]
Alright. When we last left off, Infernius got hit by 2 breath weapons, but he also got 20s for 2 of 'em, so I'll call that 1/2 damage.
>>59390Aw come on you know thez pine is best.
>>59391I meant, that hit really hurt. Infernius needs to roll a fortitude save
>>59393Meh, i like my thing better.
>>59383>ImageTake a guess
>>59395Damnit he probably passed
>>59389Um.... Do shazbots die from grenades?
>>59396Why did it include my previous message?
>>59395Damn, alright. Next up is That Bitch, who spends her entire round shouting into the phone.
>>59397Doubtful, grenades do 5d6 damage. Trump dropped them overhead during his escape yes?
>>59395Shit.
Was that a roll for Death by Massive Damage?
best way to kill >>59402That roll was to stop my death.
>>59402Why yes it was
Whoops, Fae actually goes before That Bitch, and being as though she's in charge of transit, that is the moment that she breaks away into the air, with Trump atop. Trump will still be able to grenade them, but he goes last cuz >1 initiative
>>59404First question, what is the damage roll on the flames and what is the save DC?
>>5940614d8 (it shows if you hover over the e-mail field) and,... hold on I forget.
>>59407I cant hover over the email field on mobile....
>>59407I can't do that on mobile. I can't read spoilered text either. I used to view the post with the edit feature but I can't do that anymore
>>59408fair point. I don't recall the saving throw desu, I never bothered to write it down, and its a custom creature (mine) so I wanna say it was 22, but I was pretty wasted so idk
>>59410Reee then Trump made all of his saving throws
>>59410I prefer to keep it ambiguous anyway, since the characters have no way of knowing meta numbers.
How could you even dodge flames coming at you from every direction?
>>59412They know that some flame jets are harder to dodge
>>59413By the grace of Elway
>>59391I was asked to make this.
pine Thez >>59413Good reflex roll
Also, have a character sheet for some reason
Mainly for GM Also, can you be flanked with Breath weapons?
Is there still a crowd present in the area?
>>59410Hey gm how can i get ranks in perform?
>>59417>pinochet hat>sunglasseskek
>>59418Not technically, its not an attack roll. I could see applying penalties, but I didn't in this case.
>>59421Practice/training from a suitably skilled performer, or levels.
>>59422>Practice/training from a suitably skilled performerIf only i knew a performer
>>59422If Trump can make most of his saving throws, that changes things
[1d20+21 = 23]>>59420Rolling to take another card from anyone nearby.
Can Torc and Snek arrive at the tower now?
If Trump isn't losing half of his health in a round...
Fae: Pounce bot
>>59427Yes. THey arrive and Thez is (I think) talking to Stix?
>>59431Why not do something productive like use the 60 foot chain and improved sunder to destroy the nozzles on the bots?
>>59432Kek
Snek slams open the door
>"Terrible trip, wouldn't do again""Good, Next time I won't bring you. Hey Thez, hey Stix"
>>59434“Hello again. Where have you been off to?”
"Trump you fucking coward!!!"
>>59435"Getting a new cannon while this fucker" Torc kicks Snek "wanted to eat the gnomes selling it to me"
[1d20+31 = 40]
Sunder the nozzle of the shazbot Fae has placed Trumpaladin near
>>59437“Sounds like a grand adventure. What are your plans now?”
>>59439"Well Solvania sent me some plans about a exploding trebuchet shot or something, so.I was thinking about checking that out.
Have you met Slovania yet?"
>>59437"That's silly. Find an obscure gnome tha't's into knitting or something for that, never one you'll need."
>>59436"Target the flame throwing nozzles of the Robits"
>>59440“Oh yeah. I saw that trebuchet thing when I met her. I got to try building one of those things sometime.”
>>59433That would only reveal her position, and Idk what kind of attack bonus these guys have.
>>59441>"Damn, can she help me get a gnome to eat?">>59444Check'd
"They are pretty cool. In the meantime, what have you guys been up too?"
>>59446“Well... a bit of a story on my part. I suppose I can give you the fast version if you want.”
>>59446Did Torc ever read that scroll Tracy gave him?
[1d20+23 = 29]
Rolling to steal another identity.
Forgot to add synergy last couple times.
>>59447"Eh, why not. Lemme hear it."
>>59448Uh, kinda
>>59449Will Tracy ever have enough IDs?
>>59449You only get one turn per round you kike
>>59443Not true, Trump goes last
>>59449stahp, Tracy can only manage to swipe 4 of them before the remaining crowd literally has their phone in hand.
>>59450“Let’s see... I found a ton of evil creatures in a tree. Tracy was bit by a rock. I found a talking squirrel in a grove. I got a big acorn. And I met Thez here... but not before I thought she was attacking the port.”
>>59453Tracy pockets snacks that people dropped during the party.