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nuts3.jpg
Show Nuts #54
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.58626
58627 58644 59336
RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.

We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.

Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 107 files omitted.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59859
>>59858
I don't say that because they're not formidable. It's just that one of these things sounds like a pretty fucking boring encounter for a lvl 10 party.

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59860
59861
I mean, they're dull as fuck: effectively mindless creatures. It was easy to figure out that they wouldn't hurt you if you presented an ID card, and I bet they could be easily deceived in other ways.
I'd approach them altogether as more of a trap or puzzle than as combatants in terms of CR, but then again, I am the rogue. I figured the objective of the encounter was to figure out how not to be fried, than to take on the bots.

Taking them on in a group is certainly a difficult encounter though, so the feat of actually taking them on would probably have a high CR.
>>59843
You sure you wanna cast obscuring mist? It'll blind you too, and any fire attack will disperse it.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59861
59862
>>59860
The area of affect is much too small to cover the bots directly. The idea is that Fae will take note of the location of a bot, cast the spell, then move to the bot, in the process leaving the misted area and able to see it better with her own eyes, and same with Trumpaladin when he makes his attack. The idea is that the bot on the other side won't be able to see them over the mist. So while 2 or 3 of the bots will be able to see them the next round, 1 or 2 will not, and one will be disabled by Trump's attack.

>any fire attack will disperse it
Let them disperse it. If I have to chose between a stream of fire dispersing a mist that Trump and Fae no longer occupy, and a flame attack hitting Trump and Fae forcing a saving throw or extreme damage, I will chose for the flame to hit the mist. Fae can cast the same spell again after that, and Trumpaladin has an ever smoking bottle. Whatever frustrates the enemy is good, whatever obscures the vision of any one is good, whatever forces the enemy to waste an attack is good.

>>59860
>I figured the objective of the encounter was to figure out how not to be fried
Trumpaladin had no way of not being fried. He could either wait until he was exposed later and get killed by all 12 bots, or he could try to take them on with Infernius and by sneaking up on one. There was no way for him to acquire an ID. He has no thief skills, and couldn't steal anyways. He has diplomacy, but all the dice in the world would not allow diplomacy to work in Cardishore. The only options were to fight and to run.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59862
59863
>>59861
What exactly is your objective for this encounter? Did you want to take out the robots, or advance into the city?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59863
59864
>>59862
>What exactly is your objective for this encounter?
And now you're learning
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59864
59865 59866
>>59863
What was it though? Did you plan to engage right off the bat, or wait for an opportunity?
The party could probably take these out, but more will be coming..
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59865
>>59864
I just wanna know, because if everyone just wants to keep fighting these things as we encounter them, I'd rather just escape and try again some other day.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59866
59867 59868 59869
>>59864
The original plan was to try to talk to an administrator and claim he lost his ID when his girlfriend ran off or whatever, and he needed a replacement. This probably would have required killing at least two bots, but I thought it would be possible to gain respect after that and claim to be a performer. But this was not possible because there was no apple store and there were no administrators. There was no way to contact an "agent." There was nothing at all to do but wait to fight the bots.

Then Infernius pulled his stunt. It offered the best chances of a fight working. More importantly, it would have been cowardly to just watch Infernius die. So he would stay engaged with the bots until it became obvious that further engagement would result in death. After that, he would either fly on Fae through the hole in the dome, or run out of the park, either to hide in a house or to go to the hole in the wall
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59867
1519771044355.png
>>59866
+10 Respect.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59868
59870 59871
>>59866
>replacement
You never had an ID though. Pretty sure That Bitch probably would've just had you killed on the spot too unless you rolled a 20 on Bluff.

My original objective was to get to the plaza ahead of time so Tracy could assess the situation in stealth. After I figured the party needed fake visas, I intended to swipe a few. After Infernius made his dramatic entrance, i intended to take advantage of the chaos to assassinate That Bitch, figuring her card would have some useful info, but I didn't expect Brad, and more importantly the undisguised Fae, to jump into the melee. After I realized that both Fae and Infernius had been exposed, I gave up altogether, figuring that the chances of infiltration were nil at that point, and only wanted to escape.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59869
59877 59879
1520677429038.jpg
>>59866

Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59870
59872 59873 59874
>>59868
>You never had an ID though
What else was he to do?

>That Bitch probably would've just had you killed on the spot
She'd have to make it through the combined strength of Infernius and Trumpaladin's Blood, Steel, and Faith first

>my object was...
I'm going to stop reading right there, because you could have said something through empathic link at any point, or could have stayed in a group, and you chose not to.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59871
>>59868
Tbh, I threw the dust on Brad so that he'd have the chance to re-enter lawfully if things got out of hand (my fallback idea), since that way the guards would be looking for an ostrich and not an armored humanoid. Idk about Infernius and Fae though; they're could've already been marked by Cardashil security as domestic terrorists, and all those Dramaqueens might've easily captured them in their selfies.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59872
59874
>>59870
>She'd have to make it through the combined strength of Infernius and Trumpaladin's Blood, Steel, and Faith first
This.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59873
59875
>>59870
I'll admit that I dropped the ball on communication, but you (or your character) could've just asked what she was up to. I thought, erroneously, that the plan to steal IDs was obvious, but I still apologize for not communicating that.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59874
59876
>>59872
>>59870
They were definitely strong enough to take the bots on, but after that the party would've had to choose between fighting wave after wave of security bots, or escaping without accomplishing anything...
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59875
>>59873
I mean, even in character, she might not be so quick to relay things ahead of time if her plan involved burglary and potentially murdering someone, but she would've bluntly admitted it if he were to ask her.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59876
59877 59878 59880
>>59874
You are released from duty
1. When the enemy is dead;
2. When your allies have withdrawn safely; or
3. When you are dead

What else could they do? It was a mission that required a rogue, but they didn't bring Darkie and the one they had ditched them to do her own thing.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59877
59879
>>59869
>>59876

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59878
59879
>>59876
>ditched them to do her own thing
Oh come on, you know it wasn't like that. I just needed space for stealth, and I figured she could move ahead since her speed was much faster than the rest of the party (I expected her to arrive several rounds earlier).
I still remember having everyone tread over my back during that last dungeon crawl, when she was searching for traps and whatnot.
>those 3 options
Fug that LG bullshit. My goal was never to kill or be killed, or at least not until she got her knives back.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59879
59883
>>59869
>>59877
D'aww!

>>59878
Oh she can do as she does. I'm talking about Trumpaladin's options
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59880
59881 59882
>>59876
Also, when did the residents of Cardishore become our enemies? Sure, they're not allies, but they didn't seem malignant either, or at least not those drama-stricken noncombatants we just saw.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59881
59883
>>59880
I personally don't want these people as allies.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59882
>>59880
>residents of Cardishore
The bots. The bots became enemies when they started trying to kill Infernius
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59883
59884
>>59879
>Trumpaladin's options
Ask his waifu to steal a card for him: it's more in-code than lying about losing one.
>>59881
Neither do I, although they don't seem ebil for the first part, just full of themselves. Figured the priority would be to avoid unnecessary grief for innocent civilians (except for Tracy, who want to hurt people for the sake of hurting them).
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59884
59885
>>59883
>Ask his waifu to steal a card for him
Waifu abandoned him and he was and is angry at her for it. Also, it's implied that those who have their cards stolen are eventually killed by the bots, which is definitely not in code

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59885
59887
>>59884
>it's implied that those who have their cards stolen are eventually killed by the bots, which is definitely not in code
Shit, that code is restrictive... Not to mention the obligation to help all those in need would also apply to those who had their cards stolen..
This is why I prefer being a Rogue.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59886
59888 59890
Maybe he could have tried seduction on That Bitch?

He's immune to disease right?
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59887
59889 59891
>>59885
I prefer fighter generally.
Anonymous
/s2+g
?
No.59888
>>59886
yes
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59889
>>59887
In terms of weapons and combat, Fighter is best.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59890
>>59886
Disease-immune or not, the degeneracy could rub off on him.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59891
59892
>>59887
You character sounds like more of the barbarian type, desu.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59892
59893
>>59891
I think that's his actual intention. To be a religious Barbarian
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59893
59894
>>59892
I meant in terms of combat style.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59894
59895
>>59893
*falls asleep in fluffpile*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59895
59896
>>59894
She ain't out of Cardishore yet
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59896
59897
>>59895
It's non-consequential. She could've done it whenever.
Anonymous
TWlXs
?
No.59897
59898
Spoilered
>>59896
But not sharing her fluff with her husbando...
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59898
481568__safe_artist-colon-mixermike622_oc_oc-colon-fluffle puff_oc only_evil_pure unfiltered evil_satanic_solo.png
>>59897
Just dive right in anytime, ~Flaaashy.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59899
59900
"I miss my old socks..."
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59900
59901 59902
>>59899
*meta-pets pony*
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59901
59903
>>59900
[happy pony noises]
*unzips armor*
*chest-fluff poofs out*
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59902
59903
>>59900
*humps leg*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59903
59904
>>59901
Is slowly consumed by fluff

>>59902
Picks up pony, and tries to hump her
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59904
59905
>>59903
*fluff crawls over brad like a cocoon*
"I love you so much, Flashy...!"
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59905
59906
>>59904
"uh.... what are you doing?"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59906
59907
>>59905
"~Nuuuuuthing..!"
*fluff balloons out from chest and covers brad*
"Just making us ~comfortable..."
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59907
59908
>>59906
"For... what?"

*tries to pet pony*
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59908
59909
>>59907
*says nothing*
*kisses*
*fluff obscures the outside world in a pale blue maelstrom*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59909
59910 59911
>>59908
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59910
59913
>>59909
"NOT AGAIN!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59911
59912
>>59909
*fluff cancels out noises completely*
*tendril creeps across the room and locks door*
"Let's become one, ~Flaaaaashy...!"
*room is entirely consumed by fluff*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59912
59915
>>59911
*RUNS AS FAR AND AS FAST AS HE IS ABLE*
"ELWAY SAVE ME!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59913
59914
e31.png
>>59910
Your baptisms could never hope to stop the fluff, only delay it.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59914
59916
1508725983041.jpg
>>59913

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59915
59917
bdc.jpg
>>59912
You run down a blue corridor, but the door only seems to be getting further away somehow. The room seems to be getting visibly darker, and.. softer.
A frightening aura emanate from behind you.
"It's been a while since we've had some privacy together like this, ~Flaaaaaaaaaashy...!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59916
59917
>>59914
*something grabs your ankle*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59917
59918
>>59916
"GAH!"
*pulls away leg*

>>59915
FUCKING RUN FASTER!
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59918
59919
>>59917
*door gets further and further away until the entire corridor visibly deteriorates into fluffy madness*
*more things grab each of your other limbs*
*the room darkens*
"~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!" echoes ominously behind
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59919
59920
>>59918
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"
Trumpaladin turns and rips into the fluffy walls of the corridor with both hands, hoping to rip an entry to free himself
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59920
59921
>>59919
>implying you can escape
*darkness intensifies*
*things violently grab at parts of your body from every direction, stripping various pieces of plating and clothing from you until you're in your boxers; you hear a subtle hissing sound*
Then suddenly, it stops, the space around you is almost too dark too see anything at all, and it's imposible to even tell what direction s up anymore, and a certain "warmness" begins to creep up from your legs to your waist.
The malignant aura however, has only grown to horrifying proportions
"We missed you.. ~Flaaaaashy...!" echoes an alien but horrifyingly familiar voice, from a direction you assume is behind you
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59921
59922 59923
>>59920
"Fuck"

He cries out to Fae to help him, as she did last time
>"Fae, help me!"
>"Is this another one of your sexual escapades turned against you?
>"Uh, No..."
>"It's Tracy again isn't it?"
>"Maybe"
>"...."
>"Uh... Fae?"
>"Help yourself this time"
>"Fae? Fae?"

He can almost hear a phone clicking noise
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59922
59925
>>59921
He knows what may save him. Holy water, to burn away the fluff. But the big water coolers of Gatorade are far away, separated by impenetrable walls of fluffiness. There would be no accessing it. Nor did he bother to bottle any containers of holy water - water, blessed by Elway himself, and with the electrolytes plants crave.

But wait, he's a Paladin! He can bless water himself! Yes, that's it, he'll bless water himself! Now, for the bottles of water, where are they. He didn't pack any. Oh bother. But... Flasks of alcohol! Blessed alcohol like the Russians. Wait. Where is his robe? Did the vile tendrils of the fluff monster remove it already? Damn! He's out of fluids. Except... he isn't out of fluids yet, now is he?

Trumpaladin knew what he had to do
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59923
59924
>>59921
*[the fluffy warmth quickly spreads up from your waist to your chest, to you neck, until if feels that only your flace is exposed*
You boxers seem as though they've vanished somehow, and the fluffiness seeps into every corner of your body.
The space around you is almost entirely dark, with only a dim blue light allowing a subtle view of strange amorphous shadows shifting all around you. You thrash with all of your might, but you find it increasingly difficult to move at all. The more you move, the more it drains you as the fluff constricts you.

lurking around in a space between spaces, you sense an aura, no several(?), lurking around in the unknown like sharks after dusk, circling you at an alarming speed.

"We've waited a ~looooooooooong time for you, ~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaashy....! We've been ~sooooooooooooo lonely....! the voice(s?) echo from an indeterminate direction
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59924
59925
>>59923
"Show yourself, Demon!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59925
59926
>>59922
*fluff curls in a spiraling fashion around penor*
"Don't hold back now.. ~Flaaashy...!" hisses an alarmingly familiar voice before you
>>59924
*unintelligible cackling*
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59926
59927
>>59925
"BY THE POWER OF ELWAY, I COMMAND THEE TO RELEASE ME, DEMON!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59927
59928
>>59926
[Insane laughter echoes all around through the darkness]
"Soon.. soon.. you will be free...!"
The warm fluffiness wraps around you oppressively, fibers gripping to you skin. You find it increasingly difficult to breath.
"Freeeeeee.....!" hissses the alien voice
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59928
59929
>>59927
"Gahhhh.... Show yourself to me! I find freedom in the light and truth of Elway"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59929
59930
>>59928
*Crushing pressure intensifies*
At this point, you hear nothing but fuzzy static. The tendrils curling around you body have tightened to a point that is no longer comfy.. as you try to speak again, fluff pours into your mouth in a way that should choke you, but doesn't somehow.
As you're forced to inhale more and more fluff, the fibers creeping across your face spread until only your eyeballs remain exposed.
[Unintelligible hissing]
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59930
59931
1506152066861.png
>>59929
This is bad
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59931
59933
>>59930
You don't even know.
*Hairs seep into pores in your skin, painlessly, but dreadfully noticably*
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59932
"~Flaaaaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeee....!" echoes a distant voice through your mind
2OBux
?
No.59933
59934 59935
[1d20+20 = 39]
>>59931
"Gah!"
Opposed grapple check
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59934
59936
>>59933
As you fight against the restraints, they seem to tighten further, only to suddenly lessen.
Your body feels light and strong, and your able to move again slightly, but a certain familiar warmness seems to be spreading through the core of your body.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59935
59937
>>59933
With the brief moment of freedom granted him, his uses his free hand to grab his genitals, and utters a secret prayer as his mouth is free
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59936
59937 59939
>>59934
>a certain familiar warmness seems to be spreading through the core of your body
"ELWAY, I FEEL YOU!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59937
59938
>>59936
*Warmth creeps towards your very bones*
The tightness has vanished around your lower body, and you feel.. light and free somehow.
>>59935
The twisting maelstrom around your penor feels less restrictive, as if your whole body we're surrounded and penetrated by a mystical softness.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59938
59940
>>59937
Trumpaladin struggles free, and tries to move forward
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59939
59941
>>59936
As you shout, you realize that you are no longer being forced to inhale fluff, but breathing it.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59940
59941
>>59938
You binding fade away and you move "forward" freely sifting through the warm softness, only to wonder exactly where you're going
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59941
59942
>>59939
"Gah!"

>>59940
Forward. Trumpaladin moves forward. Far enough, and he shall be free
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59942
59943
>>59941
You tread deeper into the darkness, the alien warmth having completely permeated your being.
It's cozy as fuck.

In the far, far distance, you hear a faint humming.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59943
>>59942
To move away, or towards the humming? Away, surely. No creature, living or not in this cozy hell could be good. RUN AWAY!
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59944
59945
>run
And so, you turn away, treading through the fluff freely in a way that feels more like wading than running. You can't see shit and the weightlessness of the realm around you is disorienting, being unable to tell which direction is up, if there is an up...
In the back of your head, you feel a slight pain, as if something heavy and hard were weighing down inside your skull.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59945
59946
>>59944
"Gah! WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59946
59947 59948
>>59945
>"~Flaaaaaaaaaaasheeeeeee...!"
Calls a distant voice inside your head
>"We've been waiting for you..."
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59947
59949
>>59946
>"WHAT DO YOU WANT!"
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59948
59951
>>59946
>"'We'?"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59949
59950
>>59947
>"We miss you, Flashy..."
Beckons the voice
You feel a dragging motion in your skull
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59950
59953
>>59949
>"WHO ARE YOU?!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59951
59952
>>59948
[A cacophony of echoing giggling emanates from every direction]
>"You're so cute, ~Flaaashy..."
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59952
59955
>>59951
"Who are you! Show yourself!"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59953
59954
>>59950
The voice does not respond to this, but the pulling sensation in your skull intensifies to a painfully degree
You other bones begin to experience a similar tug, in various directions, though not nearly as intense as the griphold on your skull
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59954
59955
>>59953
"Gah! What do you want from me?"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59955
59957
>>59952
[Demented laughter]
>"It's you who's hiding, ~Flaaashy..!"
>>59954
>"We've been wanting to see you again for so long..."

Once again, you feel a presence lurking around in the darkness
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59956
59958
Holy shit, I had all this crap written out, but I'm dying of exhaustion.

Until next time, faggot.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59957
>>59955
Trumpaladin raises his hand towards the presence and forms the sign of the Football.

"Stay back!"
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59958
>>59956
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HsM_VmN6ytk