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nuts3.jpg
Show Nuts #54
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.58626
58627 58644 59336
RP/Shitposting thread - D&D 3.5 base rules, subject to interpretation, review, and elaboration. Open for all to spectate, bantz, shitpost, or full-on play.

We begin this thread in anticipation of the weekend, where most of the party is gradually infiltrating the grand city of Cardishore. With disguises varying from an Emu, Barney the dinosaur, and a mexican clown,... as well as Fae who is entirely without costume, Trump, Tracy, and Infernius try to get a handle on whatever the hell is going on in Cardishore now or in general.
Meanwhile, Torcuil is working to get that damn cannon fixed on the Stray Cat. Meanwhile Stix returns (to the tower?) with not many answers, an over-sized acorn, and definitely no other surprises.

Meanwhile Thez,... poor forgotten and alone Thez who is babysitting the port so that none of the party's enemies see their departure and think "Wah ha ha ha! With them gone I will destroy their precious city!" I mean she gets it,... but still.
>sad dwelf noises
1511 replies and 108 files omitted.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59154
59157
>>59153
“I would love to hear that story sometime.”
Anonymous
c3XZj
?
No.59155
>>59153
He flies out through the open roof, and has land and run as soon as she is outside, to meet Tracy at the hole
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59156
59158
Tracy wait to see what the bots are doing before she acts.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59157
59159 59160
>>59154
"Well, he was part of the group of elvenniggers who robbed us,... twice, but was caught because he was too cocky. Then he got tortured and mutilated, and then almost killed everyone (yes, while tortured and mutilated) and then his head got put into a bucket, and then into a metal body-cast, and then we starved him. Then he decided to plau along," she smiles, as though detailing the process of obtaining groceries.
Anonymous
c3XZj
?
No.59158
>>59156
She should run to the hole either way. She's safe
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59159
59162
>>59157
“Wow. I’m in over my head around here aren’t I?”
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59160
59166
>>59157
She's waiting to see if the bots are about to follow them outside.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59161
59162
>>59148
Oh yeah, Susan. I was just reading that bread the other night.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59162
59163 59164 59165
>>59161
I'd forgotten the Susan bit
>>59159
"Doubtful. I mean you may not know/appreciate it, but someone thought you were an apt addition, else you wouldn't be here. No one winds up "here" unless someone/thing nominates (in a manner of speaking) them. What that means is anyone's guess, but if you're here, its cuz something powerful enough decided to put you here. Though, come to think of it, we are rather avant garde as far as our methods are concerned.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59163
59169
>>59162
“Well, I wish I can remember what makes me worth being here... all I seem to recall from back home is my father’s disappointment and my death”
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59164
>>59162
>I remembered something GM didn't
That's surprising

Anyway, Torc and Snek ride the airship back to the Tower with generous amounts of sea shanties and threatening to throw each other overboard
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59165
59169
>>59162
Where are the bots headed?
Has That Bitch gotten her order shipped yet?
Anonymous
c3XZj
?
No.59166
59167
>>59160
Why wouldn't they?
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59167
59168
>>59166
She just wants to see what happens.
If they're outside, they won't be able to re-enter so easily.
Anonymous
c3XZj
?
No.59168
>>59167
They won't be able to fit through a hole of one exists, so he can go through and change disguise.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59169
59170 59172
>>59163
"Well, we're not the ones who determine worth. In some cases - darkie for example - characters were brought here so that they could continue to suffer. In other cases, characters were brought because some entity found them delightful. There are other examples, but the simplicity of it all is that there are no end of reasons why one finds themselves here, and often times it is to fulfill a purpose that is outside of what the individual may previously have assumed."
>>59165
The bots form a perimeter ring around the top of the wall, maintaining constant visual with at least 3 others, and collectively maintaining 360x360 surveilance.

Including the spot with the hole in the wall
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59170
59171 59174
>>59169
“I guess that makes sense. From my memory, I committed suicide. So I guess this is my second chance of sorts.”
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59171
59173
>>59170
"Oh," she says, visibly affected by the mention.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59172
59179
>>59169
>Including the spot with the hole in the wall
Fug.
>'Looks like they're onto us. Slipping out, let alone back in won't be easy...'
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59173
59176
>>59171
Stix takes notice of this.
“Does that surprise you?”
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59174
59176 59184
>>59170
"I rolled a 1 on my Spot check." Tracy says aloud for no reason
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59175
59176 59177
Tracy tries to see if Infernius is still not-incinerated.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59176
59178 59180
>>59173
"No its,... I mean I suppose not,... I just wasn't expecting,..." her voice trails off.
>>59174
When?
>>59175
He did well on his saving throws, so "not yet" at the moment, but he's also non-responsive
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59177
"I wonder if Death would mind dinner when I get back."
>"I'm still trying to figure out how you actually got her to date you."
"Fucking mystery to me mate."
>>59175
>inb4 Infernius becomes an inferno
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59178
ccab55af8654930f2495cdff1aa5fe15.jpg
7c17f13f627ac45f1faac36f2015d898.jpg
f0d6a7936470c7da18d2ccc734c70f93.jpg
>>59176
>when
I was referring to how she died: didn't even get the privilege to know what hit her.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59179
59182
>>59172
>"Do you have anyway of evading them?"
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59180
59181
>>59176
“You seem a little upset by this. Do you want to talk about it?”
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59181
59183
>>59180
"Do you?"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59182
59185
>>59179
>'not that I know of.. They're everywhere. It won't be simple to cut a hole like last time.'
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59183
59186
>>59181
“I don’t mind if you don’t”
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59184
59188
>>59174
I figure I may as well share the death story I had for Tracy, since I've never published it anywhere and I may as well share it some time.

Brad Sentry had been elected to the US Senate,
and was proceeding on a Bill that would have exposed lines of funding. He walked towards the Congress building with a group of senators of his party and the US president, as well as his then wife. As he walked, Tracy jumped from bushes and towards him with a knife, having apparently evaded the secret service for that long. As she did so, she had to jump an enormouse number of feet to close the distance (she was far away but a hell of a lot further than you'd think she could get), and in that time was shot two dozen times from two mp5 sub-machine guns from secret service agents.
She crawled some feet, and with her final heart beat, looked to Brad. The secret service agents had by this time forced everyone down in low, prone positions in place. Brad realized that she had gotten to far to spring all of a sudden... something must have forced her to act so early. He noticed from the trail of blood that she was not actually heading for him, or his wife. He looked towards where her path was taking her, and saw that the man next to him had a gun aimed at him. Quickly, he disarmed the man. A fellow senator of Brad's party at this point said fuck it, pulled his own gun, and shot Brad, killing him

Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59185
59190
>>59182
>"If only we had IDs it would be easy enough to escape them. Maybe if I can get in line later I can get in next time..."
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59186
59187 59189 59200
Gotta run for about 1/2 hour, sorry
>>59183
Will respond asap
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59187
59211
>>59186
It’s fine. See you soon.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59188
59339
>>59184
Awesome story.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59189
59191
>>59186
I look forward to your return

>"Yes but WHY where there fifteen men on the chest with a bottle of rum?"
"I don't know, it's just a song"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59190
59192
>>59185
>'That dust will last about another hour. After that, you could re-enter legally. Get as far away as possible in the mean time.'
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59191
>>59189
kek
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59192
59194
>>59190
>"What will you do? Those bots will be coming for you and you do not have an ID
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59193
I think I might make Bridget my main Disguise (like Thez's hippie guy). She's grown on me.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59194
59195 59196
>>59192
Idk how else to spin it, so she'll be blunt:
>'I murdered a guy for his card. I swiped a couple others too; their owners are probably dead'
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59195
59196 59197
>>59194
Tbqh desu senpai, that was actually why I didn't use the link. I figured Paladins plausibly couldn't accept stolen things, or those pilfered through murder.

But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59196
59197
>>59194
You could have worded it differently
>"....
....
....
....
....
....
Fuck it. I'm running for the hole. Meet me there. I'm either figuring out what the hell is going on now or never"

>>59195
>But he'll forgive her because she's cute, right?
STOP ABUSING YOUR SPECIAL PONY POWERS
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59197
59210
>>59195
On the bright side, with Gorplemonger dead, she can assume his ego.
>>59196
Tracy moves towards wall where the hole was, flipping through Alfonso's card and looking at various selfies and whatnot to try to get a grasp of his personality.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59198
59199
1520484886612.png
This should summon Infernius' faggot
Hopefully
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59199
59202
>>59198
Very good!
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59200
59201
>>59186
"LEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYYYYY Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeenkiiiiiiins!"

On Fae he runs straight for the hole
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59201
59205
>>59200
Weren't there mailboxes there too though?
Be careful.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59202
59203
1520484136754.png
>>59199
I hope you don't think I drew that
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59203
>>59202
Editing colors as good as you do is still worth cheering on.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59204
Shit, I guess I outta edit some moar then..
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59205
59206
>>59201
Watching, yes. The point is to go through before they can do much damage
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59206
>>59205
Okay then..
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59207
59208 59210
That Bitch never made her turn on that initiative.
Did she do anything besides yell on her phone?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59208
>>59207
Yelling on the phone is doing something
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59209
Tracy moves back to monitor Infernius's situation.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59210
59212
>>59197
Mr. Gorplemonger is quite alive, see here he's adopted this lovely mantis outfit cuz reasons
>>59207
She's the reason there's a grip of arial bots in pursuit, as well as a variety of other bots that haven't gotten introduced yet cuz>flee
It would (and still may, waiting on Infernius) be a slaughter.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59211
59214 59216
>>59187
Thez <whooof> vanishes into a swirling tuft of smoke. A few moments later (less than a minute) she reappears with an ornate flask full of a clear liquid. She looks at Stix for a moment, shakes her head and sits down in one of the available chairs.
They're a the tower now yes? Torcuil would be arriving imminently.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59212
59213 59216
>>59210
Can Tracy make out what level of access Gorplemonger had with his card? He acted like he was important.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59213
59215
>>59212
Everyone around here acts important. Assuming that Tracy ventured near one of the gates, she would find that the ID lights up with several options including:
Home, Shopping, and Social.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59214
59224
>>59211
“What’s that for?”
He points to the flask
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59215
59218 59219
>>59213
Tracy decides to give the gate a shot.
>Home
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59216
59217
>>59211
Trumpaladin darts to get through the hole as quickly as possible

>>59212
>"If you have an extra card, come to the hole Tracy, now or never"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59217
59218
>>59216
>'There are mailboxes there though.'
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59218
59220
>>59215
Fuck

>>59217
>"You told me you had a card. Do they follow you yes or no?"
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59219
59221
>>59215
Isn't Tracy involved in a plot to get an ID to Trump, Infernius, and Fae? I'm not saying "don't", but seriously, she's not that ADD is she?

Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59220
59222 59226
>>59218
>'I don't know if they follow me, but at least they won't flame me while I have the card...
>'Thing is, if they see me going through the hole, they'll know what's up.'
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59221
59222
>>59219
Are there bots by the hole or not?
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59222
59223
>>59220
>ITT Tracy overestimates the sophistication of the Shazbot programming
>>59221
No, but they are in view of the hole, as well as the entirety of the perimeter.
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59223
59226
>>59222
Fuck it then.
Tracy leaves Infernius for dead and moves towards the wall.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59224
59234
>>59214
"The green stuff gives me heartburn," she says. "Plus, I've so many inhibitions that I can't speak candidly without booze. Something to work on I suppose, but for now it works."
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59225
59228
Drinking during pregnancy is not to be advised.
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59226
59227
>>59220
>"I thought you were disguised? Whatever. If I do not receive a card I am dead"

>>59223
He can fly faster that Trump, and has all sorts of very useful magic like Sanctuary or Ethereal Jaunt or Dimension gate. But I think his strategy would be similar to Trump's
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59227
59231
>>59226
Tracy goes towards the hole.
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59228
59229 59231
>>59225
Considering the fetus jacked a regen stone from the principle, I'm weighing that it'll be fine
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59229
59230 59232
>>59228
Wouldn't that also make her unable to get drunk, like Captain America?
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59230
59233
>>59229
No, because I'm the GM and I say so
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59231
59235
>>59228
>>59227
Fucking squeezes through the hole as quickly as he can. Fae first, since she has a lower save bonus
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59232
maxresdefault.jpg
>>59229
>Placebo
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59233
59235
step0002-4.jpg
>>59230
So be it.
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59234
>>59224
“I don’t remember too much... think you can help me out and ask me questions? That may jog my memory on some details.”
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59235
59236
>>59233
Damn right! I could have made all kinds of more or less douchy-calls based on whim, that this is the one I've done so far is a testament! Xp
>>59231
So Trump is seriously making straight for the hole in spite of surveilance?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59236
59237
>>59235
Fine, he throws a rock in another direction first. Then runs straight for the hole
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59237
59238
>>59236
Why?
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59238
59239 59240
>>59237
His options are 1. give up on Cardishore, and 2. go through the hole and hide once inside
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59239
59241
>>59238
Go ahead.
>'I'll be here, Flashy. Tell me your plan once you get through.'
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59240
59242
>>59238
Those aren't his only options, those are just the only options he's entertaining, right now, that justify immediate involvement/participation Xp

Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59241
59243
>>59239
>"Once I am through the hole that will lose the flying ones and the ones outside. Then we get cards and change disguises, then hide in a house and wait for infernius... then we go through the gates
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59242
59246
>>59240
If he waits an hour Tracy will be gone and the window will have passed.

I guess Infernius is a pretty good distraction, but again, tracy will be gone by that time
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59243
59248
>>59241
>'How do we meet once we're through? I don't want to blow my cover..'

Tracy disguises herself as a janitor, getting ready to feign sweeping up Infernius's ashen remains, should he be incinerated.
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59244
59245 59246
>repeats of last voyage with slight differences
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59245
59247 59250
>>59244
>slight differences
Did Snek actually throw Torc off this time?
Anonymous
AzCrm
?
No.59246
59250
>>59242
Yeah srsly, wtf happened to Infernius?
>>59244
Not sure what you mean by that, but considering this was a scenario where "Observe, do nothing." was the A++ answer,....
Anonymous
tbRzj
?
No.59247
59250
>>59245
No, this time it was a Broadway musical retelling of the voyage
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59248
59249
>>59243
>"Hand me a card. Or if you're that scared, just leave two cards at the hole and I'll run through myself. I'll take my chances. But I think you're ascribing a level of intelligence to these machines that they simply don't have"
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59249
59251
>>59248
>'You'll need to make sure your disguise matches your ID one we go through the gates. Not sure how well I can dress up Fae though..'
Tracy walks in that direction
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59250
59251 59257
>>59246
Torc and Snek are heading back to the tower in the ship
>>59245
No, Torc almost threw Snek off...
Don't ask me how that works
>>59247
SOOOO put that thing back where it came from or so help me!
Anonymous
2OBux
?
No.59251
59252 59253 59254
>>59250
You've pushed ten feet of snek off.... but most of him is still on the airship

>>59249
>"alright..."
Anonymous
yPY8d
?
No.59252
59254
>>59251
Pretty much
Mrs. Sentry
OuvwY
?
No.59253
59255 59256
>>59251
The dust is only +10 disguise btw.
I was going to use it as a fallback, so that the party would have the option to re-enter lawfully as their own selves if they got caught.
It'll still work on her, but she might be recognized. It won't be easy to dress her up as her card ID though.