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Creative Title Referencing Nuts
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44896
44905
What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.

Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.

The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1348 replies and 121 files omitted.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44898
741.png

Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44899
nightmare.jpg
>tfw trying to sleep but "elves" keep stepping on you
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44900
44901 44902
GM, could Torc possibly craft those orbs that Temptest uses at the begining at the movie?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44901
44903 44904
>>44900
Can you give a picture? I missed those beginning scenes
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44902
44903
>>44900
Either them or something along those lines. It depends on exactly the effect you're going for. They appear to encase the victim in crystal or stone, and there's a number of spells that use that type of effect or something similar.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44903
>>44901
I can't find a pic, but imagine a small black orb with a fragmented green crystal inside
>>44902
Yeah, I was going for the encasement
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44904
44906
>>44901
https://kimcartoon.io/Cartoon/My-Little-Pony-The-Movie-2017.54405/Episode-Movie?id=76413 Its just a little past the first song.

Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44905
44925
1515481183080.png
>>44896
*rubs ana's stomach,and then puts ear up to her stomach*
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44906
>>44904
Thanks, I see it.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44907
44909 44918
>>44895 →
>Don't see her as stuck up
That's probably the wrong word. Maybe more like "judgemental." In her limited dialogue she expressed disgust at Trumpaladin's sex with Tracy (she went back on this when she figured there was a religious purpose to it), disgust at the suggestion of keeping the sloppy remnants of the Tarasque Football, and my favorite line from her - the condescension expressed in saying "I'm surprised to see the blue one didn't eat you" to Slovenia when they first met. It's like GM's idea of Lawful Good is "condescending and self-righteous." I love it.

>Mythril is expensive and time consuming
Pfft! Even with a large sized non-humanoid it's only like 4800 for Fae and 5600 for Trachemar. And if Lenos can't make it quickly, I bet the gnomes can. Besides, I've been trying to set up a metallurgical industry in Port Barry. Surely they can do mythril smithing

>it should at least be able to negate touch-range attacks
Can it? I mean, it's kind of intuitive that Mounted Combat represents a rider moving the mount out of the line of Attack, so maybe it increases the Touch Attack AC

>Trumpaladin can train for it
I'm not sure what his next feat should be, but I really want Weapon Finesse for him and Vanderiem. I am not sure if GM will let me take that as his racial feat. Fae should train for Hover, Fly-by attack, or Improved Grapple
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44908
44910 44911
bab5c6f0e744d25c6049c9969841f9f9.jpg
515d193dcc8867a8b0b5a738470097d4.jpg
dd-meme-dungeon-crawl.jpg
TOH_ResourceManagement.jpg
So, is the party ready for the crawl yet?
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44909
44911
>>44907
Its not so much that thats my impression of Lawful Good, its how I imagine Fae might respond to such,... diverse behavior from a paladin and the party he interacts with.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44910
44912
>>44908
Depends what dungeon are you talking about? The trapazoid?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44911
44913
>>44908
Give me like an hour to bathe and get food or something

>>44909
I can just imagine her constant facepalming at Trumpaladin's fuckery
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44912
44916 44917
>>44910
Yes, that one.
Torc's just about to blow it open, right?
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44913
44914
>>44911
*facepawing
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44914
44915
>>44913
Yes, that.

High Priestess dander-free Kitty is adorable
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44915
>>44914
Meh. I never interact with her.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44916
44918
>>44912
With the airship?
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44917
44918
I just finished the movie. That was good
>>44912
Uh, I guess I am now.
Full broadside + spells?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44918
44919 44920 44921 44922
>>44907
>Weapon Finesse for him and Vanderiem
A Bastard sword is nowhere close to a light weapon. It's too heavy to be finessable.
You'd want something like Weapon Focus in bastard swords if you want moar damage with it (he's already gained proficiency, right?)
>>44916
>>44917
Bring the ship down right next to it, then fire with the canons.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44919
44925
>>44918
>inb4 a mythril bastard sword
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44920
44921 44926
>>44918
Full broadside and spells COMING UP
Torc pilots the ship until the temple is at the edge of the cannons range
I'm not starting yet though.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44921
44923 44924 44926
>>44918
>>44920
>These fuckers are proceeding anyways before I can get my tendies
At least 1. target an area at the precise center of the area between the two far ends where it should be weakest 2. Order attacks with mundane artillery at similar points on other sides of the pyramid so it isn't immediately obvious which side has the breach and 3. Order the General, Ghestapo, Slovenia and whoever to be ready to attack anything that comes out of the breach, and after the party go in, to attack anything that isn't the party coming out
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44922
>>44918
Weapon Focus is what I meant
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44923
44925 44960
>>44921
We're not starting, just getting ready. Go forth, and gather unto you yonder tendies
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44924
>>44921
I literally said I'm not starting yet.
I'm startigg at about 2000est
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44925
44926 44928
>>44905
>>44923
>>44919
What do i hear/feel
>>44905

Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44926
44927 44930
>>44920
I'm ready.
I've maxed-out Tracy's search ability, so traps shouldn't be a huge issue at the beginning.
>>44921
pretty much this.
>>44925
Alcohol sloshing.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44927
>>44926
"Reeeeeeeeeeeee fetal alcohol syndrome!!"
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44928
44929 44931
>>44925
She's not that pregnant yet
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44929
>>44928
*massages stomach*
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44930
>>44926
I'm not ready tho
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44931
44932
>>44928
*grabs boobs*
*gently pinches nipple*
1nDFl
?
No.44932
44933
[1d20 = 8]
>>44931
"Really?" Grabs and pulls nose-ring.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44933
44934 44935
1504789815609.jpg
>>44932
*erection initiated*
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44934
>>44933
Eww
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44935
>>44933
*thump*
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44936
44937 44941
*goes to the bathaus*
*faps*
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44937
44938 44939 44941
>>44936
o_O
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44938
44939 44942
>>44937
I feel dirty after reading it
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44939
44940 44945
>>44937
What?
>>44938
Really?
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44940
>>44939
U nasty
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44941
44942 44943
>>44937
This

>>44936
YOU HAVE A WAIfU. FUCK HER. YOU ARE IN AN RPG. THERE IS NO REASON TO FAP.

When I want my character to masturbate to Slovenia or some other cute but untouchable pony, I just have him have sex with or sleep-rape Tracy as a proxy. Your character can do the same - except, you know, with Thez
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44942
44943
>>44938
Yeah, I would have much preferred he post something like "Grapples Thez and takes her to the bathhouse" or something along those lines.
>>44941
This

Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44943
44944 44945 44946
>>44942
>>44941
>implying hes not rubbing one out to last longer.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44944
>>44943
Just ejaculate in the waifu twice. My character also does that
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44945
44949
haram_absolutely__by_cybikum-da01elb.jpg
>>44939
That's just one of those things that unless one is careful, they end up imagining before they intend to. I would much rather imagine Thez getting railed by....
>>44943
... okay that was a decent save, but still
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44946
44949
>>44943
Nope, fuck this I'm out
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44947
44948 44950
Are y'all ready for the crawl yet?

*adds a bunch of mundane bullshit tools to bag*
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44948
>>44947
Hold the fuck on, I'm typing out the initial attack strategy. You'll fuck it up if uyou don't do it right
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44949
44952
>>44946
>children cannot consent
>>44945
"Thez,you,me,my room now!"
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44950
44951
>>44947
No, not yet really, cause I gtg for a while here in a little bit. But I'll broadside the temple
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44951
44954
>>44950
>>44950
Wait one minute
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44952
44953 44955
>>44949
"Or?" ^_~
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44953
44955
>>44952
"Well theres alot of people here. Me sure that they Don't want to hear your screams of passion."
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44954
44956 44957
>>44951
What did you say? Broadside now?
Well, if you wan me too
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44955
44958
>>44952
>>44953
"Unless you into that."
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44956
>>44954
Just crack it open. We're not going in yet.
f anything comes out, we'll just kill it.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44957
>>44954
No I have a strategy. I'm writing it up
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44958
44959 44961 44984
>>44955
Her eyebrow twitches and she fights back a smirk, before grabbing his nose-ring again and <whoooof>.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44959
44984
>>44958
*pulls out BDSM rope*
1s5P2
?
No.44960
44961 44962 44966 44987
>>44923
Alright, so the main reason I did not want the egg crapped open without my being there was because I figured it would be done wrong. So here's how I would do it.

First off, before we go in, get Torcuil to reactivate the magic shield on the airship. It's kind of obvious to do so. I have no idea it would stop those flying undead things from flying in, but it would prevent an ethereal sneak attack, and maybe it would stupify and confuse the enemy the way it did us, just long enough to allow multiple rounds with ranged weapons. That's important because the airship is going to have to be left guarded only with low level NPCs. Also, and this is very important, familiarize at least one NPC with use of the airship controls, so it can be maneuvered while the party is away

Now, how to bombard the pyramid. The Party now has three sets of cannons. Seven from Durpistan, an unknown number in the Jolly Cunt, and the 14 bigger and better ones in the slipper cunt. This allows for three separate sides of the pyramid to be shot at once from different angles. One by the Ghestapo operating the Jolly Cunt, One by the Spartans operating the captured cannons on the docks, and one operated by the generals on the airship. The reason three sides should be shot at once is so that the persons inside the pyramid are confused and unable to tell immediately which side has been penetrated, or perhaps may even believe that the newer shots with the airship cannons are the same as the earlier shots from the older cannons, and thus may not realize the hull has been breached at all. When this is accomplished, the Jolly cunt should be maneuvered around so that its cannons can be focused on the breach, or perhaps the Ghestapo should exit and return to the docks.

As soon as the pyramid is breached, the party should enter. However, once the party has entered, the breech may be used by the occupants of the pyramid to exit and attack the city. To this end, slovenia should keep the trebuchet focused on the breech, and the spartans should focus cannons on it, being prepared for Melee combat if anything comes to the docks. Likewise, the ghestapo should return to prepare for melee combat

The generals will remain in the airship to provide ranged support. They should have masterwork composite longbows, with those who can handle them having higher strength ratings, the far shot feat for a range increment of 165 feet, weapon focus for a better attack, weapon specialization for better damage, and that one feat that eliminates the penalty for shooting at an opponent engaged in melee combat with an ally. I was unfortunately not able to buff them up much for melee combat should the enemy get too close, but they have point blank shot, which gives a slight boost at danger close range. In the alternative, if there are any shots left in the Slippery Cunt's cannons, the Spartans can stay on the Slippery cunt to operate those, and then provide melee support in the Slippery Cunt is boarded.
\r
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44961
44962 44966
>>44958
>>44960
How could I have forgotten?

The area where the wall should have the lowest tensile strength is the point equidistant between the two ends. So shooting at the precise center should have the greatest effect, as that is likely the weakest point. Shoot that spot above the waterline
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44962
44966 44987
>>44960
>>44961
Of course, the Generals and other NPCs are ordered to shoot anything undead coming out. They can take a moment to try and see what it is if what exits looks human or like the party members, but otherwise, shoot, with artillery and ranged weapons
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44963
44964
Fuck your bans you peice of (CENSORED BY MOD WAIFU THEIF)
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44964
44969
169941__safe_fwslash-mlp-fwslash_4chan_scruffy_janitor_the scruffening.png
>>44963
You're welcome
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44966
44971
>>44960
>>44961
>>44962
Good plan you are gonna wait on me and thez though right?
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44969
>>44964
You should make a /sp/ thread with the best scruffies.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44970
44972 44973
>>44968
Yeah, but you ignore the fact that the characters still have freedom of movement independent from the group.
It's not your game alone. Let other faggots decide what they want to do with their roles/characters.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44971
44978
>>44966
Are you planning on having the Gestapo do something?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44972
>>44970
Jesus Christ let my character do something. Let me have time to respond. Please hold the fuck up and let me post on things. Let me have the freedom to have an input into how the pyramid is breeched
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44973
44974
>>44970
It's not your game alone either you fuck. Yet you try and relentlessly advance game play when the rest of us are trying to live human lives or are busy typing
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44974
44976
>>44973
Don't ban other players because you don't like what they might do. They can do anything they want.
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.44975
44977 44979 44980
GM, can we postpone tonight while the children try to settle their differences?
In the meantime, i gtg
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44976
44981 44983
>>44974
So can I you insulant fucker. Now stop trying to fuck everything up for the other three of us by advancing things that affect everyone while we are occupied
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44977
>>44975
Are you still available at 8PM EST?
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44978
>>44971
Ill comply with brads plan seems pretty well thought out desu.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44979
>>44975
I'm cooking for the family atm anyway.
Do what you need to do.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44980
>>44975
Postpone how? Do you mean "until tonight" or do you mean tonight altogether?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44981
44982
>>44976
>advancing things
Characters don't speed-up time by acting. They can only move to a limited degree in the time they have.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44982
44983
>>44981
How much time does your character have? When you do something with your character that takes an hour, then time in the game has advanced an entire hour. When the rest of us come back and see that time has still advanced an hour, we often can't respond to an event that has already happened, and may even lose an hour

For instance, if you just "crack open" the pyramid without doing any of the preparations described above, you run several risks that could be prevented simply by following the preparations.

Look, I like this game too. And one of the things I like most about it is preparing strategies like I did in >>44960. When you say "just crack it open" cuz' impatient, then I lose my ability to play the game

Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44983
44984
>>44976
I see your point, and the game will not resume until everyone is suitably situated
>>44982
This is an important point. To some degree, when a character goes off into left field, other player actions and activities can be fitted into the earlier period, that's not always the case.
Anonymous
1KuxI
?
No.44984
44985 44986 44987 44993
>>44983
But is >>44959 and >>44958
Still happening while everyone is preparing?
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44985
>>44984
Yes of course
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44986
44987
>>44984
Who's directing the Gestapo?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44987
45003
>>44984
Well, since >>44960 >>44961 >>44962 is the preparations I want to do, and because Infernius agrees in >>44978, let's say that Trumpaladin makes the preparations to execute this plan in the lead up to the breech. Because the Infernius character is busy railing Thez, let's say that he gives Trumpaladin authority to use his forces for this purpose

Also, I should have specified this, but the side that the Airship breechs has to be one that can be shot at from the docks and from water, although I guess at an angle. Because of the shape of the harbor, I do think this will be possible, but the forces targeting the other sides will need to be moved to face the breech as the party enters. Since the party will be there to respond to any immediate threats at first, and because the generals will be providing ranged support on the airship, there should be time to do this appropriately

Also, prior to to breech shot, at least one salvo should be shot at the Pyramid from the false sides, so that way the enemy is under impression that the real breaching salvo is as ineffective as the salvos that preceded it, effectively "crying wolf" in cannon shots

>>44986
Let's say Trumpaladin is while Infernius is fucking Thez
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44989
>>44988
Why wouldn't they? Especially if Infernius hands Trumpaladin the Fasces, which I'm sure is his standard
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44990
44991 44992
Tracy goes to feed her birds.
What time is it in game?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44991
In Ancient Rome, roman cohorts were lead by officers who carried the Fasces. The Fasces is a symbol of Collective Authority rested in and excercised by a single individual. This symbolism is recognized by Infernius.

One of Infernius's Feats is "Standard Bearer." Since it's homebrew, we may as well have a bit more fun with it and say that he is a literal standard bearer. That is, he literally carries around a Fasces that symbolizes his leadership. If it were given to another individual, it would be a clear sign of "I am authorized to lead you on behalf of your true leader while he is absent." So why not do that, and we can have savvy preparations while Infernius fucks his waifu

>>44990
I would bet on later morning, like 11 AM or maybe as early as 10
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44992
>>44990
I'd say about noonish, since that would be the best time of day to attack spoopies
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44993
44994
>>44984
Did you ever give that puppy a name?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44994
44995 44996
>>44993
When did he get a puppy?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44995
44998
>>44994
Apparently, a while ago.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44996
44997 44998 45001
>>44994
That was hella days ago, back when the party first liberated the Port from the (((rats)))
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44997
>>44996
Well, fug...
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.44998
44999 45004
>>44995
>>44996
I guess I have a neglected Unicorn...

Before he leaves for the docks, Trumpaladin greats Felicia (I think I had him do that earlier in the morning as well, but I am not sure)

"Would you by chance know how to operate an Airship?"
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.44999
45000 45002
>>44998
Give her some space, m8. You killed her like 3 days ago.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45000
>>44999
No
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45001
45003 45004
>>44996
... Is he still alive?
Also, what kind of dog? Standard, guard, riding?