What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.
Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.
The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1348 replies and 126 files omitted.
>>45304Aww... I can wait for you
>>45305To ask Fae: "Is it in this room?"
>>45306"Afraid, no. But you have atrocious tastes"
>>45295How dark is it? Is it pitch black?
Torc brings out Mr. Snek and hops on his back
>>45302"Ladys first then"
Torc rolls a architecture check for hidden shit
[1d20+2 = 10]>>45310Aside from the light streaming in from the hole, yes. Most ppl have darkvision tho so its not a big deal, and Tracy is on fire.
>>45315*Tracy makes a super-saiyan ki-charging pose, and revs up her flames to illuminate the room so her husband can see past his arms*
>>45314Understanding the nature of the returned insult, he glares back
[1d20+21 = 25][1d20+21 = 38]>>45313Search and Spot checks on ceiling, because he asked.
>>45313Ever seen the Sistine chapel? It looks nothing like that. In fact, the ceiling is probably the most unmentionable aspect. Its just flat glassy shit.
>>45307Its okay brad just protect thez untill i get there.
>>45319[confused pony noises]
".. W-would you rather I turn it down, Flashy..?"
*flames fizzle and die-down considerably, leaving the room pitch black once more*
>>45322Kek. Yes I have seen the sistine chapel, it was just a question to see if the "rooftop," which seems to be the bottom of the lower overturned pyramid, was identical on both sides, suggesting that the octohedron was two pyramids put together rather than a single structure
>>45324He doesn't need darkvision to give you the stare of death
>>45321[sad monster noises]
"... Are you mad at me, Flashy?"
>>45325She's confused, because she doesn't understand why he's glaring at her. She only wants to help.
>>45326"No no, you're a good horsey"
*Rubs and pats what he thinks is her head and neck*
"So, are we just gonna stand here waiting or are we gonna go in?"
>Snek noises
>>45329I think that's snake for "fuck this haunted house shit I'm outa here"
>>45328"... If you're having trouble seeing, just let me know.. I'm here to help you, Flashy"
>>45329Having found nothing on her detection rolls, Tracy advances forward.
>>45331I'd try again with trap searching
*stares*
>>45330My snek ain't no fucking wimp...
But I would agree>>45331"Welp, here we go"
[1d20+25 = 32]>>45332One more Search Check then.
[1d20 = 9]http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/SRD:Dancing_LightsThis should help with seeing
>>45334Snek the rogue makes an extra search check
>>45335"That'll work. Send 'em around the room to help us see what's here.
If we need to, I can cast Daylight so we can light up the room since, you know, I'm a spell caster with a buffed 18 wisdom"
*stares at horse*
>>45335You cast spells with memes fuccboi
>>45336Torc send the lights around the room, allowing the party to look around.
>>45337Not fucking always you bitch
>>45325Thats a clever idea, though not what it is. The ceiling is completely horizontal and does not reflect the pyramid slope.
>>45333For future reference, Thez can talk to Snek and convey/receive concepts and information.
>>45335"I can do that one again!" Thez says, also casting Dancing Lights,... for no particular purpose.
>>45337He can cast them manually too, I just prefer memes, and tend to interpret the dice more favorably (or bypass entirely) the dice with dank maymays.
*walks forward, crunching bones underhoof*
How many corridors are there*
>>45340Thats pretty good ironically.
>>45339Yes you do!
>>45343This.
It's the payment for being able to cast almost every spell without arcane prep.
>>45342*pulls on horse dock to increase the lighting*
>>45342see
>>45295The party can see 2 staircases, and upon inspection they lead toward different areas of the pyramid, despite their proximity.
>>45341I try to use memes more for combat cause I can think of ones easier.
Ya'll are gonna hate my one for this boss>>45344>imply finding memes to satisfy you heathens isn't arcane prep >>45346"Which staircase guys?"
Torc begins walking slowly towards the pillar, Snek in tow
>>45347>prepKek, it is tho, literally
>>45347That's exactly the point.
The memes
are the arcane prep.
>>45348"Don't they both lead to the same location?"
To Fae
"Advance"
>>45350This
>>45348>>45351"It doesn't look like it. It looks like narrow hallways going in different directions from here. They might meet up, but it doesn't look like they're next to eachother, even though they're next to eachother." Thez says looking down one of them.
>>45351>>45350Oh just wait
>stair cases"I don't know, but the money's on 'no'"
Thez looks at Tracy
"Don't go ethereal unless you have to either, who knows what sort of can of worms that could be."
[1d20+25 = 35]>>45353Good point
Search check to detect man-eating stairs
>>45354Tracy slowly nods in response.
>>45355The stairs do not appear to be man-eating, and have no traps or shenanigens.
>>45358"I KNEW YOU LIBERTARIANS WERE SECRET LEFTISTS!"
>>45359"I meant staircase you fucking retard"
>>45360"Uh huh. I'm sure you did."
>>45359"Do you feel that?" Fae says to Trump. "This whole place has been unhallowed. Turning will be suppressed. Not fully, but with a big modifier.
[1d20 = 2]
Rolling to flip coin
Even is left, odd is right
>>45362"Thank you for telling me. It does feel almost like democrat senator's office here"
*shivers*
>>45363Thats 2 for the left staircase
>>45361"Oh fuck off and decide"
>>45363"I'm okay with left. If its a dead end, we can always go back." Thez says.
>>45366"I just don't want to be split up from my mounts. I'd prefer to have the help of the Cleric and the wizard though. Where is Infernius anyways?"
[1d20+21 = 41]>>45366>If its a dead end, we can always go back*death flags spring up*
Tracy goes in first.
Rolling to Listen for enemies.
>>45368Don't go left.
The staircase would collapse under the full weight of the party, and they would in fact be unable to go backward (and some might take damage) if they were to go left.
>>45372Tracy turns towards the rest of the party with as grim, serious expression.
"Let's not go this way."
>>45372>>45373"The left choice is the wrong choice, and the right is the right choice. Those are the words you should live by. Have none of you remembered this is a den of leftist senators and justices?"
[1d20+21 = 37]
Rolling once again to listen to the other staircase.
>>45377"Then why didn't they make it seem like right was bad? Something isn't right..."
>>45378Not bad
>>45375Although technically the party can fly or whatever, so they'd still be able to backtrack, but if "walked/crept down" it would be bad.
>>45379Its not a trap, its that this is old AF and crumbling.
[2d20 = 26]Rolling for Fae on listen and spot on the right stair case
>>45380*pets cute giant horsey ears again*
>>45379"This whole pyramid isn't right... kek, get it? But seriously, they will try everything they can to make the Right look as bad as possible. Don't believe it. It's fake news"
>>45378From the top of the staircase, Tracy can see that at the end of the staircase the corridor immediately angles to the right and is out of view. She hears complete silence, and can see nothing signiicant.
>>45383"If Fae and Tracy clear us, then yes. But I don't think we have any other choice"
Just wondering, does Tracy get any profane bonuses for being a blackguard fiend in an unhallowed environment?
It was said that turning was limited, but what about rebuking?
>>45385Thez' head pops out of a shadow in the middle of the party. "There's doors, but there's nothing that needs squishing. Not immediately at least."
>>45386*glares*
Writes note and places it on the Ground so Infernius knows to go Right
"Not like he doesn't know that already"
>>45387>>45388"I guess we're accending..."
Anyone wanna go first beside the squishy meatbag?
>>45388[whimpers]
".. Did I do something wrong, Flashy?"
>>45384"... I'm not picking up anything.."
>>45388Oh yes, Infernius flies
HA! in on Uatchit, cuz I can't imagine him doing anything else given the circumstances.
>>45391Do i see the rest of the party?
>>45392You have Darkvision, so probably.
>>45390"No silly. Let's go in first"
Directs horsey
>>45394".. You've seemed awfully angry today, Flashy... It makes me worried.."
>>45390"Don't worry, I snuck by you and checked it out myself! Did you know shadowdancers can hide in plain sight if they're within 5' of a shadow? This whole PLACE is shadows! In any case, I already went down. I didn't try any of them, but there's a door on either side of the hall and one at the end."
>>45393He actually doesn't, but he does have the Daylight spell. Whatever, Tracy should be luminescent and he can hold a torch
>>45395"Yeah I know"
Buries himself in horse fur
>>45397Mintaurs get natural Darkvision.
Their Natural Cunning is also useful in dungeons: like a crawfish in a riverbed.
https://dnd-wiki.org/wiki/SRD:Minotaur >>45392Yes, they're next to a staircase on the right side of the room. Also there's a note on the floor that says "GO RIGHT".
>>45399He doesn't get that full set of racial bonuses it's half-orc race. THAT set of racial bonuses is the equivalent of adding two class levels to a character
>>45401Half-SJWs get Darkvision too.
And why a half-SJW as the base race?
>>45402"No! I'NIS!" and other cautions are heard as Infernius goes Leeroy Jenkins on the left side. Is that seriously what he's doing?
>>45402Lol
>>45403Wow they do. GM said so months ago
>>45402"I was worried if maybe he was too much socialist and not enough nationalist..."