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Creative Title Referencing Nuts
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.44896
44905
What it is? Its an ongoing thread-based fantasy RPG
What it do? Players do their thing based off dice scripts and 3.5e D&D as a rules baseline.

Throughout the week we shitpost at one another and on weekends we kill shit or surmount some form of obstacle. New players always welcome.

The party currently has a trebuchet, a series of cannons, and an airship with another series of cannons aimed at a floating black pyramid just out from the docks of Port Barry. Its not actually a pyramid, its an octahedron, but its half submerged. Some quick thinking from the resident Mage kept it from teleporting away and escaping, and now the party is looking to crack that bitch open and see what sorta toys are inside. And kill shit.
1348 replies and 115 files omitted.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45622
45624
>>45620
>>45621
"At least it didn't happen to a different appendage..."
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45623
45624 45626
Shit.jpg
*Trumpaladin makes mental note never to stick any body part in Trachemar ever again*
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45624
45625 45626
Spoilered
>>45622
[unintelligible babbling]
Tracy is both Fascinated and Confused. In her state of ecstatic bliss, she is unable to assist. She howls and shudders in pleasure, oblivious to her loved one's danger, her tail sticking straight up like a firecracker, begging for more.
What will you do now, Anon?
>>45623
She does have a history of getting objects hopelessly caught back there.
Tracy's vaginal muscles are unmatched in sheer Strength and power, but even she is no match for the graceful touch of a Paladin's magical hand.
1s5P2
?
No.45625
45627
[4d20 = 34]
>>45624
*sigh*

More caressing of smooth walls
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45626
45628
>>45623
>>45624
Just you wait
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45627
45629
>>45625
[heavenly squealing]
*bone-crushing clench* (it's completely numb by now, so it doesn't really hurt)
Tracy's front knees buckle momentarily before she keels over in pleasure, dragging Trumpaladin face-first into her butt with a *WUMP*.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45628
45631
45dde81b1f37659a9903897af77d5ddc-motivation-poster-the-dungeon.jpg
>>45626
I'm having so much fun though.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45629
45630
>>45627
"If I wanted my bones broken in an attempt at mounted pussy grab I'd go for Fae"
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45630
45632
>>45629
Tracy merely coos happily in response.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45631
45634
>>45628
She loses desirability as a mount if she can't be grabbed without consequence. That's one of her advantages
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45632
45634
>>45630
Dismounts horse, and places other hand on wrist
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45634
45635 45637
953e6be1b48b4389765f8cefbfe93b04-tabletop-rpg-dungeons-and-dragons.jpg
29b5b026b820689cbc2493ba1de2ef45.jpg
traps.png
gif-dnd-traps-cats.gif
itsatrap.jpg
>>45631
She'd be royally heartbroken if she knew what was going on, but she''s in her own little world at the moment, her eyes rolled back as she shudders on the floor helplessly.
>>45632
Careful now.
1s5P2
?
No.45635
45636
[1d20+5 = 15]
>>45634
That natural 20 was several rounds ago. Time for a new strength check

He pulls
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45636
>>45635
I'm bored, so say he slips out as Tracy loses consciousness.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45637
45639
>>45634
A low and ancient creak sounds off from behind Tracy and Trump.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45638
45640
Trump mounts something
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45639
45641 45643
>>45637
>Unconscious
Well fuck.

Someone slap her awake.
1s5P2
?
No.45640
45643
[1d15 = 8]
>>45638
Spot check on thing from Fae
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45641
45642
>>45639
Fae is currently the only individual capable of combat

If it's just Torcuil coming in the room that's all we need
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45642
Seriously though. 44th chapters...
I love you faggots (no homo).

>>45641
Cast Daylight, faggit
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45643
45645
>>45639
A low and ancient voice speaks an undiscernable langauge
Casts a spell
>>45640
"I'm not certain these are chests." Fae says

Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45645
45646
>>45643
>Unconscious on my own move
Reeeeeee somebody bitch-smack her!
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45646
45647
>>45645
He would, but his bitch smack hand is damaged
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45647
45648
>>45646
At least light-up the room.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45648
45649 45650
>>45647
*lights a torch, which he'd obviously carry*
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45649
>>45648
With one hand?
T2++T
?
No.45650
45651 45652
[1d20+20 = 38]
[1d20+20 = 25]
>>45648
>torch
Okay...
*Tracy's eye's flicker open at the sudden light*
"Wh-what's going on?!"
Rolling to Spot and Listen
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45651
45653
266000ab427ae09d548eaa7.png
>>45650
GM has a point. How is he going to light a torch with one hand? Looks like she stays asleep
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45652
45655
Several more eerie creak sounds echo in the chamber, and piles of dust are flung into the air, obscuring vision and giving everyone concealment.
>>45650
No no, she's still unconscious. Trump can't light a torch one-handed.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45653
>>45651
Reeeeeeeee cast you spell!
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45654
45655 45657
I'm not going to advance it much at the moment, I just want you to know that you are literally and figuratively fucked atm.
1s5P2
?
No.45655
45656 45659
[1d20+15 = 33]
>>45652
>>45654
Fae has darkvision. Spot check

Trump detect evil
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45656
45658 45659
>>45655
Reeeeeeeeeee you can't fight blind!
Cast the spell!
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45657
tumblr_m1r58rnocZ1ql55zvo1_1280.jpg
>>45654
>it was a trap anyway
Well fug me....
I thought that search check would suffice, but it must be pretty high CR..
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45658
45660
>>45656
And he can't fight with only one hand

There's dust in the air, so he'd be blind regardless

>>45656
Do you want to get the fuck out, or to stand in fighting positions, because one of two is possible
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45659
45661 45663
>>45655
The whole place is evil, but yes, there's evil in the room. 9 Strong signatures, and 1 Overwhelming.
"I can't see anything with all this dust." Fae says
>>45656
Several shuffling sounds start to occur all around the room, and the pungent odor of spice pokes at Tracy's awareness.

Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45660
45662
>>45658
Tracy has improved uncanny dodge, so she won't be caught flat-footed unless she's unconscious!
>he can't fight with only one hand
Yes you can! You use a bastard sword.
>get the fuck out
Probably a good idea.
T2++T
?
No.45661
45665
[1d20+23 = 32]
>>45659
*wakes up and hops to her feet*
"Wh-what?! What's going on?!"
>defensive stance on all fours sword drawn
Rolling to Listen to where the enemy is
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45662
>>45660
My instinct says Grab pony, and bolt for the door on Fae. What do you think?
1s5P2
?
No.45663
45665
[1d20+15 = 29]
>>45659
Listen check with Fae
1s5P2
?
No.45664
45665
Cure light wounds on hand
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45665
45667
>>45661
>>45663
I'm gonna wait a bit and see if Torcuil shows up before advancing
>>45664
Heals the damage, but doesn't restore use of the hand.
>gained temporary status effect: GIMPED
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45666
>"If we die in here I'm never speaking to you again"
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45667
45668
>>45665
Is it possible to target the Overwhelming signature specifically with the Boots of the Wolf?
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45668
>>45667
It will be in a moment
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45670
45671
Just as a question, when you said Kefka had turned himself into a demi-god through magick, what approximate rank was he? I just realized that Life Drain is a Divine Ability.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45671
45672 45673
>>45670
I hadn't decided desu
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45672
>>45671
How many rounds reaction time?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45673
45674 45675
>>45671
Rank 0 is equal to an Abomination, and Rank 1-5 would be considered demigod, although I wasn't sure exactly how powerful he was, since he was so vain and underestimated the party. I'd been trying to figure it out on my own ever since the fight back then.
Was he using Control Creatures to dominate the Tarrasque?
>tfw you literally have a god's skeleton in your closet
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45674
08864903ab01232d151a2514ab9f534c--yoshitaka-amano-palazzo.jpg
>>45673
>Tracy's faggot is a idiot megalomaniac who's studied a great deal for the purpose of theomachia.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45675
45676
1577956__safe_artist-colon-skitter_edit_oc_oc-colon-anon_oc-colon-filly anon_oc only_absurd res_age regression_angry_cute_female_filly_floppy ears_frow.jpeg
>>45673
>Asks for two or three new superpowers every single day that deviate from or directly violate D&D rules
>Expects the tiny and minute details of every enemy we encounter to have several hours spent to ensure the enemy precisely abides by D&D rules
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45676
45678
>>45675
>to ensure the enemy precisely abides by D&D rules
No. I just want to see what kind of god we killed back then.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45678
45679
>>45676
It's not important though.
There's little reason for players to know anyway, because the PC characters would have no way of knowing any of it.
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45679
45680
hand-of-glory.jpg
>>45678
Anyway, I definitely want to make another Hand of Glory out of Kefka's other hand now. Tracy doesn't really need the Hand of the Mage anymore now that she has her animated claw-hands.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45680
45681
>>45679
>Is fucked in the middle of a combat situation
>Is still doing home shopping network
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45681
45685
97acd6829e34fbf36439735450927ed8--dragon-quotes-tabletop-rpg.jpg
>>45680

Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45682
45683 45684 45685
So what is each character doing currently?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45683
>>45682
Waiting to get fugged by the monsters that just appeared.
'There's dust flying everywhere and everyone has concealment (can't see shit)
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45684
45686
>>45682
Tracy and Trump are suffering misfortune to do with their choice of getting descriptively intimate in the middle of an undead temple. Torcuil can't see a damn thing cuz there's dust filling the air, and Trump has a gimpy arm. There's shuffling sounds, and something cast a spell in an unknown language.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45685
45687
>>45682
Getting fucked. Not in the good way

>>45681
You're still an idiot
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45686
45692
>>45684
What is the proximate location of the evil signatures in the room?
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45687
45689
cb4d94054187e58fb7abb0fd0011580a--advanced-dungeons-and-dragons-dungeons-and-dragons-quotes.jpg
>>45685
>9 Wis
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45689
45703
>>45687
>Mr. Snek has more wisdom
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45690
45691
So, was the constant Deathwatch from Tracy's Eyes of Doom able to tell if these targets are also undead?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45691
45693
>>45690
What the fuck are you talking about?
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45692
45694 45726
chests.png
>>45686

Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45693
45695 45696
>>45691
I'm trying to tell if what just jumped out was undead or not. Her glasses should've been able to discern it, unless the dust also blocks that.
*readies sword*
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45694
45697
>>45692
>The door is not blocked and is damned close
THANK ELWAY

Can either of Trumpaladin's main weapons (Vanderiem and Suigoto) be wielded in the off hand?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45695
45697
>>45693
What glasses?
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45696
45702
>>45693
It's a number of enemies that disguised themselves as chests with a spell and probably used that magic-dust spell to make the room look abandoned
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45697
45698 45702
>>45694
They can both be used with one hand.
>>45695
The eyes of doom (kamina glasses).
It helps to be able to tell if a target is alive before you try a Sneak attack.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45698
45701 45702
>>45697
When the hell did you get kamina glasses?

>one hand
Which hand though? Because an off hand may not be good enough
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45701
45705
>>45698
What are you holding in the other hand?
Also, it doesn't count as an off-hand if you're not fighting with the other.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45702
>>45696
Thats,... one way of interpreting the situation.
>>45697
They don't work in this situation, no visual.
>>45698
Back when Infernius had a worm and Thez thought everyone would gonna get squish jumping planes.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45703
>>45689
Torcuil, would you be a dear and see if there is a wall of force blocking the exit? If there is, can you do something to help?
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45704
45706 45707 45708
Roll for initiative
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45705
45708
>>45701
One hand is gimped and covered in horse juice, and the other hand is just basically a left hand not being used for anything
1s5P2
?
No.45706
45712
[1d20 = 5]
>>45704

1s5P2
?
No.45707
[1d20+6 = 11]
>>45704
Fae
T2++T
?
No.45708
45710 45714 45715
[1d20+1 = 3]
Tracy steps back a bit and inches towards the door, ready to strike or spring at a moment's notice, ears perked and ready.
>>45704
Rollin'
>>45705
Can't you lay on hands to fix it?
1nDFl
?
No.45709
[2d20 = 23]

Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45710
>>45708
I don't know. It would reduce the lay of hands later. If these are Lichs and Vampires, we need to leave and find Infernius. If these are like 10 mimics, we might be able to fight
1nDFl
?
No.45712
45715
[2d20 = 13]
>>45706
>Trump status GIMP changes to PINS AND NEEDLES
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45713
45716
Opponent
Opponent
Fae
Tracy
Trump

and wherever Torcuil lands
T2++T
?
No.45714
45715
[1d20+27 = 32]
>>45708
Well fug...
Thank Epona for Uncanny Dodge, because she's a sitting duck.
Since we all have Concealment, Tracy Makes a Hide check.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45715
45718 45719 45720
>>45712
Better. Can it wield a weapon yet?

>>45708
Worst case scenario: the enemies are 9 Vampires and a Democrat Senator Lich who used illusion spells and dust spells to lay a careful trap. That sound we heard was a Wall of Force spell being cast on the entrance

>>45714
If you can make moves when it isn't your turn then Detect Undead

Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45716
45717 45719 45724
I'm back
>>45713
Torc [1d20 = 18]

Mr. Snek [1d20 = 19]

Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45717
>>45716
"HOLY FUCK AM I GLAD TO SEE YOU"
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45718
45721
>>45715
>a careful trap.
Tbh, idk if this was a planned trap. Tracy rolled pretty well with her trap sense, so maybe these guys were summoned for other reasons.
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45719
>>45715
>Wall of Force
No it wasn't.
>wield a weapon
With a penalty
>>45716
Damn

Snek
Torcuil
Opponent
Opponent
Fae
Tracy
Trump
Mrs. Sentry
T2++T
?
No.45720
45721
>>45715
>Detect Undead
The glasses only tell her of something is alive, dead, near death, undead, or lifeless. They don't Detect anything.
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45721
45723
>>45718
Magic items give stronger than normal responses to detect evil, so it's plausible this is a set of strong mimics

>>45720
No, I meant Trump uses the detect undead spell
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45723
>>45721
The glasses don't work because of the dust, in this case
4k+jL
?
No.45724
45725 45726
[1d20+3 = 14]
[1d20+4 = 14]
>>45716
I think this means Snek is first and Torc second...
Mr. Snek makes a listen/spot check.
Torc makes a spellcraft check. What bonus does 18 ranks in spellcraft and arcana knowledge get me?
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45725
>>45724
Clairification
The 11+3 is spellcraft
And 10+4 is listen/spot
Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45726
45727
>>45724
Snek finds that the air tastes old AF. He hears the approach of things that can't be seen >>45692
Spellcraft why?
Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45727
45728 45729
>>45726
>why
I was under the impression that a spell was cast. If not, Torc fires at a one of the noises Snek heard [1d20 = 3]

Anonymous
1nDFl
?
No.45728
45729 45730
>>45727
Oh that. It was Divine Power

Anonymous
4k+jL
?
No.45729
>>45728
Ah
>>45727
>3
I guess it was a bit of a blind shot
Anonymous
1s5P2
?
No.45730
45731
>>45728
>Divine power
Very useful information