Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.
958 replies and 59 files omitted.
>>24748"Oh you're too kind! I'd LOVE some, and I'm not just saying that to avoid insulting my host's taste either! Extra sweet if you please?"
I've only got a bit before I have to go fore a while.
"Stick knife in spinal cord to make him quadriplegic, because why not? Then slice the lenses out of his eye.
>>24750>>24751Hmmmm....
"How would you like to hear about our lord and savior Hitler?
*pulls out pocket Mein Kampf*
>>24752Jesus. Holy shit.
>>24752And now he's dead.
"Don't un tie him,...." Thez sing-song mentions.
>>24753He dioesn't respond to pain, so what's the use in him having nerves?
>>24754REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24755Cure serious doesn't heal THAT much damage,....
>>24754RIP
Can I loot his shit now? Just tell us what he has and I promise I'll save most of it for Inferius and Torcuil
>>24755I guess he needed it to stay alive. Want to revive him so we can starve him? He'll be screaming the whole time after we do it
>>24756Um... RESSURECT? He's been dead not long
>>24757She said not to untie him.
>>24759You didn't leave us a choice
>>24757Can I try again at paralyzing him? There has to be a spinal section Tracy can stab him in that'll only leave him paralyzed from the the neck down.
"... Oops..."
*cuts head off*
>>24761Damn it let me resurrect him!
>>24757In order to loot his shit, you'll have to untie him. In order to take him to the entertron, you'll have to untie him OR wait for Torcuil to come out of a coma OR wait for Infernius to present himself.
>>24758I think you mean Raise Dead, which again requires Infernius. "Unless you want to ask Lenos,... which I also don't recommend doing."
>>24762He doesn't need his head for that.
Nevermind, Raise dead won't work now. Its Resurrect, or Entertron.
Next time he dies without being useful, I'm taking his soul.
>>24763Alrighty then....
*waits for Inferius*
"Thez... you sure you don't own a horse"
*looks at her*
"damn it I am not going to try to fuck it"
>>24764For the spell of ressurection or raise dead, yes he does
>>24766Have you not been listening to anything? It was clearly stated that the one way to wear down his will is to let him starve. He needs to be alive for that, and it will take a while
>>24767>head is the baseThen could we resurrect him from his head and leave his body and gear separate?
>>24768Only through the Entertron, although that might result in the original body disappearing. I'd prefer Inferius to Raise Dead so we never have to untie him.
>>24768I really hope that if he is resurrected, he'll be too hysterical to teleport out before we can shackle him
>>24767Only way that Thez knows of*
>>24767Raise dead, yes; Resurrection/Entertron, no.
>>24767"I'm sure there's probably a basic riding horse in town. Why," she says adopting a slightly sarcastic but otherwise cute demeanor, "You don't want a ride?"
>>24768Meta - its technically possible, but no. It would take far longer to research, set up, and produce the environment and tools necessary to do that.
Non-meta - No
>>24769>might result in the original body disappearingSo? What's the problem with that?
We could put his head in a barrel or steel keg, and resurrect him inside of it.
>>24772"That,... that might actually work," Thez says, surprised.
>>24773~Yay! I found an idea autistic enough to be plausible.
>>24772I never said there was a problem, I just assumed you wanted a head because head
>>24774"Resurrection? Only Infernius and Torcuil. BUT, if we cast his body in iron and
then throw him in the Entertron, that might keep him from whatever tricks he might have up his sleeves."
>>24777Thez blushes with a wink. "Shall we fit him for a body-cast first?"
>>24774"What if we just do it with his head only? Then we can loot his clothes as the rest of the body turns to dust."
*holds out severed head*
>>24779Better yet, fit him for a body cast. Remove the body, only leave the head inside, and then let him grow a new body that fits to the cast.
Ah, shoot.. I g2g for 30 minutes to an hour now..
>>24780"Well, the Entertron will simply re-grow his body, but there would be nothing detaining him at that point. If he's anchored to a barrel of heavy metal, we can be sure he doesn't go anywhere upon being revived."
>>24781This
>>24778I did not know that was possible. Is the sample what is used as the base for the new body?
>>24779"Sure, and put the dimensional shackles on him, since I found a different kind of shackle for the person I originally wanted to use those on"
>>24780"Nah, let's keep him shackled and tied up. Don't let his new body be free"
>>24781Or that, but you'd need to mold out a cast and that will take forever
>>24783Um... Trumpaladin does the thing
>>24784Yes "Yes"
>>24784"Good idea, though how does one shackle a head?"
>>24784"I never said make it comfortable, it can be as small a hole as we wish to cram him in."
K, so Thez acquires a reasonable amount of molten Iron from the forge, as well as one of the large crucibles. Placing the head inside, but tilted upward, she fills the crucible until the metal is just (just!) below the jaw. "There. Let that cool, and then pop him in the microwave. He'll undoubtably die if pulled out of there, but it should keep him alive and awake for whatever questions," Thez wonders for a moment, and then shrugs her shoulders.
Okay, Trump does the thing, and Thez assists.
>>24786"Pulled out of the Entertron? I might need that for pirates"
>>24787But he can remain the man in the mask indefinitely
>>24788"Well, he can be put back in of course,.... Come to think of it, putting him in, taking him back out, repeat might weaken his resolve much faster, and would avoid addressing how he's supposed to get hungry if his revived self is compressed into a very small space."
>>24789"I... Don't know why that would work, but I am also not the group expert on enhanced interrogation techniques. I'll leave the good-challenged members of the group to it. Do the thing, if you think it will work"
>>24790"You saw how the pirate responded, imagine having that happen over and over again (and over and over). Still, sounds boring to me. I think its safe to assume he's not going anywhere (head or torso) anytime soon. Did you still want to venture to Sparintenar or Cardashil? This has dragged on a bit and I wanna get some fresh air."
>>24791"But of course, to Sparintenar"
*grabs Football and Superbowl recording first*
I'll need to go a few minutes though >>24792Thats fine, I could use the opportunity/break myself
>back for a bit
So, when we resurrect him, will his original body turn to dust?
>>24794"Doubtful. He's not a magical beast, so it'd probably just keep rotting."
>>24795No poison, but she does detect the scent of gunpowder.