Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.
958 replies and 57 files omitted.
>>24693"How long until his friends show up for the rescue effort? Any other bait we can use?"
>>24693>His goal is to goad you into killing him"Well, then that means we can have some fun with him for a while until he decides to talk."
>>24697*Carefully rolls-up the drops pants*
>>24697"That's fine. I'm in no hurry after all."
*sizes up elf, as if inspecting an expensive slab of meat*
"No hurry at all.."
>>24698"I doubt they will, Dark Elves have no loyalty to one another. I'm sure they're making every effort to be certain he
can't lead us back to them." True
"If we had anything of significant and obvious value, we could attempt to bait them, but other than what we have on us, I doubt it would be enough considering the amount of wealth they've already stolen. We'd be better off scoping out places that have an existing cache of wealth and fine equipment." True
>>24699"Uhm,...."
>>24700>>24699"Cut him or burn him or whatever, but
you are not allowed to rape anyone anymore"
Shows ring to her
>>24702"Existing wealth? Where are we going to find that?
...
Any chance Korak knows where to find the Drow?"
>>24704"Fugged if I know!" (to both) True
"Now.."
*cuts both Achilles tendons*
"Wouldn't want you running off now. It's been a while since I've had a chance to do this, and you came at just the right time."
>>24703"Oh, I know. I had some more ~interesting things planned..."
*Licks blade edge*
>>24706"Easy on the foreskin darling," he smirks. Its almost like he doesn't feel pain.
What's he wearing, btw? Any place he could be hiding items that he could use to slip away?
[1d20 = 4]
Sense motive on Sand person
>>24708He's veritably bundled in rope. "No, we retrieved his weapons (a fine rapier, and a short-sword), but he was not suited for venturing when we found him so his other 'tools' are probably being kept elsewhere," Thez sighs. "Watch out for these little guys also," she says squishing a tiny spider that had wandered out of the bindings and was working its way down the chair leg.
"Sorry spooder," she genuinely says. >>24710This faggot has maxed-out bluff. There's no way that'll help.
This could take days.
Waiting on that clothing description.
>>24712Its a fine mesh of intricate webbing, occasionally linked at points with some form or other of exotic metals. Its unlike anything seen previously, though for the meta-player comparison, it is very much like the Dark Spider-man suit.
FYI, I'm about to cripple him so he can't get away, but I want to know what he's wearing first so I won't fuck up when the bindings are cut.
>>24715You mean beyond cutting his achilles?
D> "Where DID you find these two? And that Bull-fellow? I say the God's must have lowered their expectations to endorse this lot for the Game," he says to Thez
>>24715>>24716To Thez and to Tracy
"You know, I'm not skilled in the art of inflicting suffering, nor am I really allowed to engage in such things. But if I were, I would say you should strip him completely naked and lower the temperature of the room, so he is deprived of dignity, cold, and most importantly, we could loot him"
>>24714*Pulls out hammer from the forge*
>SLAM>SLAM*Breaks both shins halfway below the knee*
"You won't be needing these anymore."
*Takes dagger and slowly amputates 1/3 of each leg, between the broken bones*
"We'll save those for later..
Flashy, if you would..?"
*Gestures to paladin to regenerate skin over remainder of legs*
>>24718Trumpaladin uses LAY HANDS to regenerate skin
>>24716"Thez, um, do we have any money of any kind left anywhere? I think I might need some for display purposes. Just a lot of gold coins to look impressive, or maybe gems, not actually anything more than say 1000gp"
>>24718As the flesh is rent, the suit mends over the wounds. "Oh MY! Careful with the threads!" he says in mock outrage.
>>24717"Uhm,... I'm not sure that will work (looting/stripping). Again, I suggest starving him," Thez responds.
>>24719"Considering what they've already stolen, I doubt that would garner a response from his cohorts, especially since they no doubt know we have him. Its a shame no one has done any research into the various communities and might have stumbled across some mention of a city relatively nearby that is swimming in wealth, cuz that would be damn useful."
>>24720"I wasn't intending on getting the gold for the elves, but now that you mention it..."
"Yeah, but starving him will take days"
>>24722You'll have to untie him to do that
>>24723I'm not doing that until I know Tracy has disabled him and until I can cast a magic resistant circle. Can Paladins cast circles that are zero-magic zones?
>>24720Upon seeing the wounds heal, the pale pony giggles like a filly in a candy store
"We are going to have so much
fun tonight."
*lets loose with the hammer all over his legs*
>>24725*hands fire iron to pony*
>>24725I didn't say they heal, I said that the suit mends its self over the wound.
>>24724Newp
>>24720*produces cleaver*
"If I chopped your legs off, would you die?"
>>24727Break all the bones in his legs.
Cut off his feet.
>>24728"Please, you haven't the stomach for that sort of method,..."
"He's just provoking you,...." Thez warns.
>>24729Didn't you just cut off 1/3 of his legs a few posts ago?
GM wishes Thez - or anyone else in the room - had an appreciation for the degree of torture invulnerability that most high-ranking Dark Elves are forced to endure/learn so we could be past all this,....
>>24730"Thez, I was hoping to make a trip to Spinitar or the Court City soon. Now that you mention Cardishore, add that to the list. Just scouting and diplomacy, nothing serious. I was going to ask Inferius if I could borrow Uatchit for the journey. Since he is unavailable, is there a horse I can borrow for the journey? Something reasonably fast, but doesn't scream 'I am dangerous, and by the way, here is what I can use to hurt you if you want to attack me.'
>>24731>>24730Shhh! Let Tracy have her fun
>>24730>Not getting the Bane joke*blank expression* (she really wants to know if she can cut them off without losing her toy)
"Well? Would you?" she inquires in monotone
>>24733*pets pony*
"Don't worry sweetie, if he does die, I can resurrect him so you can kill him again. And he'll be in a state of hysteria the whole time too."
>>24733"Would you be so kind? Please, don't stop on my account," he replies.
>>24732"Fine, but this is getting nowhere." then to Tracy. "Make sure that you don't loosen his bindings, no matter how much you cut him up," then back to Trump. "There's Trollestia, but Slovenia and Ponimaru are probably too small. I could take you quite quickly if you don't mind the wind messing up your hair, but I can't guarantee I'd be much use once there. Why not Fae anyway?"
>>24736That IS a retarded idea! I already said, its the suit - not the dude - who is regenerating.
Speaking of which, he slips into unconsciousness. (He's been bleeding this whole time)
>>24737ReEEEEEEEE don't die on me!
Is he unconscious yet? Can I take his pants?
Also, is the vault door closed?
>>24737Lay Hands on elf to keep him from bleeding to death
>why not Fae"Simple. We defeated the Rats, Soros, and Kefka, for absolutely no other reason than that they underestimated what they were up against. What has been accomplished by accident,I now intend. If I am ambushed or attacked, I want the first time they learn I can summon an enhanced dragonne - or a friggin' cauchemar - to be when claws and flaming hooves are in their faces, and I am already flying away. I can summon either almost at will anyways.
Just taking me straight there would be fine.
Tracy can come too, if she wants, although she needs to remain innocuous"
\r
>>24738Yes, he is unconscious. You'll have to untie him in order to take his pants. Yes, the vault is closed.
>>24740>>24738"I want his Rapier and suit... I like fashion and I need a weapon that can do piercing damage..."
>>24741Thez' eye twitches, before reiterating "DON'T untie him, you'll probably regret it," True
>>24741>fashion>gross spider jumpsuitYou've got a fancy chainshirt suit, but I won't object..
I g2g for a bit.. sorry..
>>24743It's a gross spider jumpsuit? Eww. Nevermind
>>24744Thez breathes a sigh of relief. "So then, assuming that no one disturbs what will very shortly be his corpse, he's probably going nowhere. I'm not sure how he did it, but he's escaped literal death before. I'd say he's a vampire, but he scoffed at a rebuke attempt by an exceptionally outranking caster. Although, if he's dead then hunger won't weaken his resolve or ability to disregard further interrogation and torture."
>>24746Casts HEAL SERIOUS WOUNDS? HEAL MODERATE WOUNDS?
>>24747Serious is better.
Darkie wakes back up with a start. "Morning already, can't I sleep in a bit? I hope there's tea,...."
>>24748"... Do you like Chamomile?"