Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.
>>24545 →"Good morning, ~Flashy."
>>24548"Good morning, pony"
He is smiling, reasonably happy, but holding your sword for... Some reason
>>24545 →>implying she'd be the first upI woke up this morning in someone else's bed, so it fits
>>24549*smiles and stretches happily*
"~Hmmmm..! What a lovely night that was..
Are you ready to head back now, ~Flashy?"
>>24551"What a lovely night indeed, sure."
\r
>>24553"Unless you want to do something else first"
>>24555"I'm fine.. dreadfully hungry though..
What about you?"
>>24556"Trips demand that I do what I am about to do"
Tracy has evidently reverted to pony form I the night as she slept. Trumpaladin takes Tracy, and with one hand knocks her on the ground, and then rolls her on her back. With the other, he takes Korak's sword and points it at her neck, eventually positions himself over her with the sword right at her throat
>>24556Here's hoping that Players have as much leftover TksG turkey as there is in-game leftover Roc. ^_^
>>24557Oh, this again..... e_e
*stares*
[confused pony noises]
I'm not going to bother rolling for reflex. This had better be good.
>>24557>>24556He now takes the tip of the sword, move it up a bit, and the taps her nose with it lightly
"Boop"
He removes the inhibiting clothing and then begins to ravish her
"Sorry Tracy but I feel life I've never done this properly"
>>24560I'll have you know, I spent over a half-hour autistically hammering on F5 last night just to see if Trump was going to kill her in her sleep,....
Moar coffee
>>24560.. Okay.
"..U-unf..!"
Can we fast-forward through this part, please?I want to type-out some preparations for the Saturday game, and it's slightly inconvenient if the ERP gets in the way.. I've noted everything on the charts.
>>24563Its not as satisfying if you fast-forward, ever seen Click? Xp
>>24562He increase speed and intensity, and brings himself closer to her, first moving the sword from a thrusting threat to a throat slicing threat, then putting it to the side nearer the end
He finishes in the pony with a soft, sort of ironically said "yippee aye ay," puts clothing back on, and then sheathes the sword, and hands it to her
>>24561I wasn't intending on doing this last night. The idea just came to me this morning
>>24563>doesn't want ERPKek. This is the >rape board, you don't have a choice in this
But sure, just say he rode her back or they walked back or he called Fae or something
>>24565[gasping pony noises]
*accepts sword and hobbles to her feet, slowly growing into her warhoers form*
"Ha.. L-let's.. let's head back.." *gasps*
>is now fully awake>>24567I just don't have the time for something long like last night...
>>24568*rides horse*
"Alright, let's go. Food does sound good. Maybe you can make those giant eggs into omelettes or something"
>>24568thats fine, I was going to make it one post but then thought to make it more than one to see how you'd respond
>>24569>cook the eggs[ironic laughter]
*speeds off*
>Fast travel to tower
>>24569>>24571<Fooomp> With a movement rate of 90 (and that's at 1x speed, Tracy can go up to 3x) you'll be back in no time.
>>24572In her Nightmare form, how many times can she be spurred to increase her speed before she is kill?
Also, what are the combat benefits to increased speed?
>>24573Cauchemars have like 158 hp so my guess is a lot. Maybe more if she recieves a Paladin's lay hands
>Arrives at tower
*checks on eggs*
>>24573>benefitsRight. The penalties are as follows:
- No dex bonus to AC
- Start run at 2x speed, increasing multiplier each round (
after passing a DC10 Constitution check). Even if passing that check, character can only run as many rounds as their constitution score (Tracy-Mar can run for 24 rounds at a max of 3x cuz armor)
*prepares camomile tea*
Goes to see Slovenia
"How was your day yesterday?"
*offers tea*
"You should join us for breakfast"
>>24576Does her armor count as light, or medium?
>>24575Trollestia is sitting regally (and a bit comically) atop the eggs, while little japanese characters have been drawn in the dirt with incense sticks placed around it. Also one of those rectangle-banner-things is wrapped around them.
>>24578Medium, because of the skull-breastplate (also, there's that Paladin in heavy armor she's carrying)
>>24577"Thats very thoughtful. My day was uneventful, apparently the Mill hasn't been operating the past 2 days because of some hooman tradition of gorging themselves on bomb-ass food," she sighs. "Oh well, that just means this next week will be extra,... taxing," she says with a bit of a sadistic gleam in her eye.
>>24579Idk.. but she's wearing something
A single rider counts as a light load, right?
If she took off the bone-armor, could she travel at 5x her land speed?
>>24580"They've been closed? Well we'll have to fix that. I'll think about opening your own little mill up here if we can find a stream for a water mill, that way you don't have to be quite as reliant on others"
Smiles deviously
"But I trust you will make the fullest use of this well rested labor force, back from vacation"
>>24580*eye twitches for fleeting moment, before passing*
>Is slightly-irked at seeing troll sitting on her eggs, but deep down knows she can trust her".. H-how are they?"
>>24583"They're moving around a bit, so the ninja-fag put the banner around to keep them from rolling off. If they were chickens I would say only a day or so,... but I have no idea the gestation period of Rocs so we'll have to wait and see."
>>24584".. If, if you would..?"
*gestures to move aside*
>>24583dont put up with her shit, show the mother fucker who is boss and whose eggs those arethis is still weird as hell to me. They are fucking birds. Either set them next to a fire or let them die, it's not worth nine hours a day of this
>>24585"And if I don't?" she smirks, but moves away after stalling just long enough to make Tracy think she won't.
>>24586>this cunt>*steam whistles out of nostrils**takes her place on the egg-bed, letting out a content, super-heated sigh; the feeling of the eggs beneath her calm her down*
>*Room turns into a sauna*
>>24588Why do you have infinite space heater powers again?
>>24590Because it's funny and cute.
>>24582"Oh yes, certainly. Bitches always have a tendency to try and drag out the experience of celebration and frivolity long after it has expired. It will be fun breaking them back in," she says with a wink while sipping her tea.
"Besides, this has given me the chance to plot out exactly the number of pieces we'll need for each device. How many are we building exactly?"
>>24590A creative interpretation of the flaming-pony action.
GM, has Trumpaladin been informed of Durpistan?
>>24593I don't think so. I don't think he even knows there's a city in that direction.
>>24593Not to my knowledge, though I have no idea what ideas or conversation may have gone on between last night and this morning.
>>24594You had one job Tracy!
>>24596He didn't ask.
Tracy didn't bring it up, because all she knew was that it was some boring city with a shitty economy; she wouldn't care to speak about it unless the subject came up in conversation.
>>24592>tfw even when she's psycho and you know she's being a slave driver you still find her antics adorable"That's... Hard to say, honestly. We will need Something with a massive range, because we will want to keep it out of the range of enemy return fire. We will need something mobile enough to be pulled down slender forest roads and go on ships. We'll need it to be able to sling solid rock with force against city walls, groups of rock against infantry, and flaming projectiles against flammable targets.
As for how many... Well... Tourcil will probably want his own team, and a second to be lead by me or also under tourcil should the order of battle be divided as such, but in any event as a back up, or to add more force. Let's go with two if possible, for now."
Trumpaladin smiles, again kind of deviously, and then places one hand
behind her head on her neck fingers in her mane, and with another hand holds her hoof up
"I understand that what I have just asked of you is, I engineering terms, to square the circle. I have made requests that it seems cannot at once be fulfilled as they seem mutually exclusive with one another. But no one said living a second life was easy. I believe in two scoops, that you can have both. Embrace the challenge, because I think you can overcome it"
\r
>>24598Scratch "hand behind head in mane." She's not a dog
\r
Where does Ponimaru usually spend his time anyway? Is he just always hiding?
>>24598Not a slave driver, a "Difficult and demanding taskmaster"
"Trebuchets will certainly offer massive range, but they aren't the most readily mobile. Perhaps each Trebuchet should be accompanied by a cannon or two? Ballistae would work also, but the beams required for each shot are similar to the ones required for the trebuchet, which would significantly increase our timber resource consumption. Catapults likewise, though not quite as consumptive. Unless we're taking cannons from the Cunt, we'll need more iron to fabricate more."
>>24597>boring cityIt's a mining town!
>with a boring economyIt's a communist place that needs to be freedomized!
>he didn't askNo shit because he doesn't know what to ask. The purpose of the group rogue is to gather information and communicate that, damn it!
https://youtu.be/G0-VTPYXvfc
>>24600He has a number of tasks that have been delegated to him. He runs errands for Ben, supervises the Fight Club (when Thez is absent/occupied), trains and practices independently, but yes he does alot of hiding also.
>>24601"I'm sorry, did you say, 'cannons'?"
His facial expression turns into pic related
>>24604"Well yes, cannons. A trebuchet is an effective long-range weapon, but is very slow and non-maneuverable. The team operating it would be sitting ducks if an opponent were to get within its range, and if you're planning a war campaign you can't expect a player to always be on hand. Cannons would help to alleviate the risk."
>>24605"I see. I'll look into taking the cannons from the ship. As for catapults, what are their comparative advantages?"
Tracy is still sitting on her eggs peacefully, sharpening her knives and preparing her BG spells.
>>24606"Not much vs. cannons, except they use rocks as projectiles
cheap, abundant, and they don't explode when they roll a 1"
"Though, cannons tend to be more accurate and consistent, given that each projectile is of a standardized size and shape. Still, catapults can fire burning pitch in addition to rocks, and the occasional crazy person can use them to launch people,... I don't recommend that."
Can she sew the cloak while she's sitting?>>24609We could cast Contagion on corpses, and hurl them over castle walls to spread the plague.
>>24608>cannons explode on you"I like it. I'm still going to recommend we make a trebuchet, so that way we will have a siege engine for use against fixed fortifications. But making a catapult is or ballista is a good idea as well. Let's say make a ballista. I'll look into taking the cannons from the ship.
So... What do we need to make and operate our own cannons again?"
Marks note in his journal that Inferius is completely banned from operating cannons
>>24610>cloakSure
>corpsesOf course
sooooo ebil>>24611"But, I just said ballistae aren't,... okay,...." she shrugs. "If you're sourcing the cannons from the ship, all you will need is people familiar with their operation. You don't happen to have any pirates lying around do you?"
>>24612*is sewing cloak, thankful for Kefka's hand*
Did Inferius bother to keep that Dow's hand, btw?
>>24613He never said anything, so I'm guessing no.
>>24612"Alright then, a catapult it is rather than a ballista"
"Pirates? But of course I keep pirates around. I never throw anything useful away. The only thing I'm lacking right now is a cleric to calm them and money to pay them"
>>24614What a waste..
Also, could've used it to persuade the Drow.
Does a Bag of Holding function the same way the spell Secret Chest does?
>>24617I'm not sure what you're getting at with that question. In what capacity? Are you asking if the bag remains in ethereal stasis when not in use, retrievable only by a miniature replica?
>>24618>WiFi cut outThe second part.
Does the bag reside in another plane?
>>24619No, the bag is a material item that contains an extra-dimensional space. That space is entirely closed and sealed off when not open or in use (meaning, living things placed in the bag
do need some sort of apparatus), but the space is not transverseable or detectable except through opening the device.
>>24620So the space within the bag is its own dimension then? It's not on another plane, but is its own plane in an of itself?
*Tracy is reading a book on The Planes, interested in the subject*
>>24622I get it now. Thanks.
Also, since Etherealness requires an affected subject to shift willingly, if objects on an unaware individual we're touched by the caster, could said objects be stolen off of their person?
GM, does Slovenia think that an order of one trebuchet and one catapult is prudent, or is that met as questionable?
>>24625As in, could you touch an apple in someone's hand, make it ethereal, and effectively make that object vanish into thin air?
>>24625>>24627No. You have to be physical to interact with physical objects. When ethereal you are highly limited in what you can perceive from the material plane, and unable to interact in any way.
>>24626"That depends on the size of the war campaign. If you're looking for an edge against a small group or faction, that would be sufficient, but if the group/faction has seige engines of its own, you'll need more."
>>24628Okay. What if you touched the object while physical, and then became ethereal?
>>24629Depends on the circumstance. If you're standing in a pub, grab an apple, and then go ethereal, no issue there. If you're fighting with someone and you grab something they're wearing, or their weapon or w/e, no you can't just ethereal-steal it. You have to have uncontested control of an item to bring it with you, and even then there's limitations for size (Thez couldn't <whooof> the Roc corpse, for example, which though a different ability/effect, is governed by the same rules).
What if you snuck up on an individual while material and grabbed said object without them knowing? With a Slieght of hand check, couldn't you steal the shirts off of their backs (metaphorically and physically)?
>>24631Aside from the fact that stealing and poofing are both standard actions (meaning, not in the same round) yes, it is theoretically possible.
What about leaving object on someone's person? Dropping an object is a free action and etherealness ceases as contact does, so could you use the ability to place objects in empty chamber, like bags or anything else with an open space large enough to hold the object?
>>24628"Well, I can't honestly say exactly what is needed. As of now, I think we can anticipate both needing to attack fixed strong enemy positions from a distance, and also attacking light enemy targets under circumstances that we can be counter attacked easily. I guess I will have to say we should build one trebuchet and one catapult, while investigating canons. Report progress to me.
Thank you for all of your help and input.
\r
>>24632>>24633>trying to get around creative use of all of the skills available to a level 12 rogue with 186 skill points by some bs infinite teleportation
>>24635I reap what I sow.
>>24633Except that dropping objects while ethereal leaves them on the ethereal plane, and the ratio of space is not 1 to 1. Meaning, you can't drop an object 2" from above a chest and have it appear 2" above the chest if it were even possible to do that in the first place. This is also why sneak attacks (or coordinated attacks) from the Ethereal plane are impossible except to creatures that have naturally developed the skill over time (filchers, phase spiders, etc.).
>>24635I know, I'm on it.
>>24634"Lovely, will do."
>>24636>Tracy is preparing to reap a cloak ha!
>>24637So, other monsters with the ability are capable of it, because they're experienced in using it?
>>24639That, and they're not trying to sheist their way into excessive abilities. e_e
>>24640Okay...
>wanted to leave needles/shurikens in victims stomachs to cause them to die as painfully as possible without knowing what happened or to do
>>24641No e_e, I only allowed it with the Terrasque becase A. it has a much larger volume gut, and B. 'cuz you rolled a 20 (it was going to backfire horribly otherwise)
>>24642Oh, okay.
It worked out better than I thought it did then, despite not accomplishing anything.
>>24638>>24636>>24637Trumpaladin goes to find the other pony. He arrives to find her in the stables
"Little pony"
He shows his hand to make sure she sees that he is in fact wearing the ring
"I just found out from your friend that Korak's ship did indeed have cannons. Do you have any informational gifts for me, little pony"
Flashes eyes
"Impress me, if you can"
>>24644[confused pony noises]
"What do you mean by 'gifts'? Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?"
>>24645"Slovenia surprised me with the cannons bit. I would not have thought to ask for that had she not have mentioned it when she declined a request for a god-tier trebuchet. You tend to be full of surprises. Surprise me"
>>24646"Thought you would've seen them on the ship last time, but sure.
she doesn't give a shit about this topic, but I know that's what you're looking forDid you see that weird city to the north? It has canons too, pointed at the mountains for some reason."
*steam rises off of comfy pony*
I miss my wifi...
>>24647gems would have been much better info, honestly"City? What city? I know nothing."
my internet sucks too
"That ring-shaped city on the other side of the mountain. It seems odd, but there doesn't look like very much activity either."
>>24650Are you doing this on purpose?
>>24650"Can you tell me anything about this city's inhabitants? What about any other locations in the area?"
why are you so stingy with information? You stand nothing to benefit, and it probably harms you in the long run. All it does is drag out meta gaming and makes me ask more questions to get the same information, which is miserable when my internet doesn't work
>>24652GM leans over "Your line is: "Its a communist mining city."
>>24653I was telling it how I thought she would. She doesn't find the topic to be very interesting."I don't know very much about them, but from the books it seems like some kind of isolated mining community. They don't seem to like outsiders very much. I think they might be commies or something. Seems pretty boring to me, imo."
*Offers outdated book*
For the sake of Grace, assume she relayed everything revealed in the last thread, when asked the right questions.
still phone-posting, waiting for wifi to work...
>>24655>>24656*urge to kill Bolsheviks rises*
He's really fucking weirded out by the steam, it's just so unnatural
"Alright, thank you"
Trumpaladin now goes to see Thez
Thez is still waiting for Infernius to wake his bull-ass up, since he bothered to comment about her being gone. Not sure where the sexin' took place (the vault? a room? several rooms? on the side of the tower?) but that's where she is.
>>24657Really? THIS is the most unnatural thing he's seen so far?"Okay.. Have a nice day, Flashy."
*Continues sewing cloak while reciting BG incantations*
>>24660*Content sigh*
Can she have the materials for a Ring of Animal Friendship ordered? (It seems like the most appropriate thing to put on her clasper, even if it doesn't work for her)
>>24659he never liked her transformation, everHe's going to find out about the gems from someone else nowI have the perfect revenge for that, so it's okay I guess>>24658To Thez
"I thinkInferius followed the lead on Ben's missing gold to the bazaar. I haven't seen him since, but he normally talks to you, so... Did he find anything?"
>>24662Bring her the guy's hand.
>>24661Clasper? Like a shark penis? I hope she doesn't have one of those
I'm sure Infernius wouldn't have just dropped the hand somewhere. Let's say he took it with him.
They could've set it in front of him during the night so that he could watch it ooze, knowing that each moment it's not attached to him makes it less and less likely to be reattached.
>>24662Thez gets up and heads toward Trump, who is clearly indicating a desire to speak with her, probably by calling out or some other obvious effort.
"Yes, he was able to determine one of the Dark Elves was actually that bald fellow who had been leading characters around in the Bazaar. We have him tied up in the vault for safe keeping. We haven't interrogated him yet, though he did lose a hand in the process of chasing him down and capturing him. He hasn't said much of anything except cheek, but his name is Darkemter Vrees. This is the first I've seen him in this reboot, but our paths have crossed in previous."
>>24665Lets say he didn't, cuz he's not into hoarding body parts, and since parts can be mended, regenerated, or outright restored (entertron, etc.) there'd be no point.
>>24666Ebil checked
Okay..
Use detect evil if necessary to find her. Jesus, walky-talkies are the most useful equipment we could possibly get the group. I'd rather have it than guns. At least pigeons that could track people and not just . I'd rather have super-homing pigeons than guns, and goddamn I'd love a Thompson sub-machine-gun. Like seriously, canwe get WW1 homing pigeons but magically enchanted or something to be able to seek out persons?
"You crossed paths with him before? What do you know about him?"
>>24668"He's a pompous asshole for one, and avoids conflict if at all possible. He's got some kind of suit, blessed by Spooder,... excuse me,... Lloth, that allows him to chameleon with his surroundings, and his stealth ability rivals my own. Beyond that, he's an excellent assassin, both in temperment and skill, but one should never
ever fully trust him."
>>24668>Pigeons that can be taught to trackI already looked into that: only animals with Scent can be trained to do that...
Of course, there's a spell for everything too.
Pls let Tracy know when the interrogation is about to start
>>24671Trollestia quips "I'll get right on it," rolling her eyes.
>>24671Hell yes I'd tell Tracy
>>24669"So I'm guessing he knows what happened to Ben's gold?"
>>24672"..I'll be right back."
>fast travel to the vault or wherever"Did I hear something about an elf who won't open his mouth?"
>tfw no wifi so can't use the custom reaction images I shopped for this
>>24674"Its a safe assumption. Whether he'll admit to it or give any information out is another matter," she shrugs.
>>24675No she hasn't heard. She has not been told yet
>>24677Say she followed him, and overheard.
>Pony senses
>>24676*goes to the vault to check on him*
*returns almost immediately*
"Where the fuck is the gold?"
>>24679"Oh yes, that. It seems that Ben wasn't the only one who has been robbed recently. Don't tell Lenos, he'll be MAD."
>>24679*Is in the next room, evesdropping*
>>24678Bullshit, she stayed on the eggs because that's what she does and you should have said that 30 minutes ago.
Mention the gems you kike
>>24682>"Sorry. I revived the tarrasque, but you'll forgive me, right?"How do you want it?
[4d20 = 35]>>24680"Aww hell no!"
Goes into vault
"Where's the fucking money?"
Draws out letter opener, the keened one
"Where is our money you sand nigger!"
Stab, stab, stab, stab, because damn I wanted to do this. Target is legs.
>>24684Aside from wincing with each stab, he seems thoroughly unimpressed. "Greetings "fine sir". A pleasure to meet you."
Thez <whooof> appears. "Careful not to cut the bindings, we wouldn't want him getting away,... again."
>>24684*Phases into the room*
"What's going on here~?"
>>24687Thez whispers "Trump is trying to intimidate him with a letter opener."
"Flashy, why didn't you tell me about this? You know I'm good at these kinds of things."
*Draws wicked-looking curved dagger*
>>24683She could say the following and get a pat on the head:
As he's leaving the room, she can say to him
"You're worried about money, Flashy? Don't be. Remember how I said "I have assets"? Thez left a number of gems to me, and I wanted to keep them in reserve, in case she changed her mind or we had a situation like this one. Unfortunately that weird dog from a few days ago tore through the place I was keeping them - you know, out of sight from people like him. They could still be retrieved though if you're willing to sift through the dirt. In a cavern off the ant cave - dog killed them, unfortunately. Now, is this guy bothering you?"
>>24690I'll deal with that later. Let me play with the elf first.
>>24689>>24685"Nice to meet you again as well. Now, I know for this I'm supposed to take you to the sunny paradise of Cuba first, but I'm a bit short on resources. Meet my associate, Tracy Cage. She will be taking over from here"
Leaves room, saying something to Tracy as necessary
Oh yeah. Cast ZONE OF TRUTH
Thez thinks for a moment. "Interrogating him won't work, nor will diplomacy; he'll just goad you into killing him. He's a bit of a nihilist, has been ever since he showed up here (and probably long before). I recommend starving him for a few days."
>>24686"Why not just cut his feet off then? We could heal him to regenerate skin over the wound."
>>24687>phasingGo through the open door and stop trying to be haxxor
>>24695It's more fun this way though...
>>24694"That would keep him from running off, sure. It won't loosen his tongue however." True
D> "And look at you all, rubbing your brain-cells together! Do let me know if there's a spark, I'd love to hear about it!" False
>>24693"How long until his friends show up for the rescue effort? Any other bait we can use?"
>>24693>His goal is to goad you into killing him"Well, then that means we can have some fun with him for a while until he decides to talk."
>>24697*Carefully rolls-up the drops pants*
>>24697"That's fine. I'm in no hurry after all."
*sizes up elf, as if inspecting an expensive slab of meat*
"No hurry at all.."
>>24698"I doubt they will, Dark Elves have no loyalty to one another. I'm sure they're making every effort to be certain he
can't lead us back to them." True
"If we had anything of significant and obvious value, we could attempt to bait them, but other than what we have on us, I doubt it would be enough considering the amount of wealth they've already stolen. We'd be better off scoping out places that have an existing cache of wealth and fine equipment." True
>>24699"Uhm,...."
>>24700>>24699"Cut him or burn him or whatever, but
you are not allowed to rape anyone anymore"
Shows ring to her
>>24702"Existing wealth? Where are we going to find that?
...
Any chance Korak knows where to find the Drow?"
>>24704"Fugged if I know!" (to both) True
"Now.."
*cuts both Achilles tendons*
"Wouldn't want you running off now. It's been a while since I've had a chance to do this, and you came at just the right time."
>>24703"Oh, I know. I had some more ~interesting things planned..."
*Licks blade edge*
>>24706"Easy on the foreskin darling," he smirks. Its almost like he doesn't feel pain.
What's he wearing, btw? Any place he could be hiding items that he could use to slip away?
>>24707>Sand-nigger>ForeskinI really wish I could do this on my laptop...
[1d20 = 4]
Sense motive on Sand person
>>24708He's veritably bundled in rope. "No, we retrieved his weapons (a fine rapier, and a short-sword), but he was not suited for venturing when we found him so his other 'tools' are probably being kept elsewhere," Thez sighs. "Watch out for these little guys also," she says squishing a tiny spider that had wandered out of the bindings and was working its way down the chair leg.
"Sorry spooder," she genuinely says.
>>24710This faggot has maxed-out bluff. There's no way that'll help.
This could take days.
Waiting on that clothing description.
>>24711What about his clothes?
>>24712Its a fine mesh of intricate webbing, occasionally linked at points with some form or other of exotic metals. Its unlike anything seen previously, though for the meta-player comparison, it is very much like the Dark Spider-man suit.
FYI, I'm about to cripple him so he can't get away, but I want to know what he's wearing first so I won't fuck up when the bindings are cut.
>>24715You mean beyond cutting his achilles?
D> "Where DID you find these two? And that Bull-fellow? I say the God's must have lowered their expectations to endorse this lot for the Game," he says to Thez
>>24715>>24716To Thez and to Tracy
"You know, I'm not skilled in the art of inflicting suffering, nor am I really allowed to engage in such things. But if I were, I would say you should strip him completely naked and lower the temperature of the room, so he is deprived of dignity, cold, and most importantly, we could loot him"
>>24714*Pulls out hammer from the forge*
>SLAM>SLAM*Breaks both shins halfway below the knee*
"You won't be needing these anymore."
*Takes dagger and slowly amputates 1/3 of each leg, between the broken bones*
"We'll save those for later..
Flashy, if you would..?"
*Gestures to paladin to regenerate skin over remainder of legs*
>>24718Trumpaladin uses LAY HANDS to regenerate skin
>>24716"Thez, um, do we have any money of any kind left anywhere? I think I might need some for display purposes. Just a lot of gold coins to look impressive, or maybe gems, not actually anything more than say 1000gp"
>>24718As the flesh is rent, the suit mends over the wounds. "Oh MY! Careful with the threads!" he says in mock outrage.
>>24717"Uhm,... I'm not sure that will work (looting/stripping). Again, I suggest starving him," Thez responds.
>>24719"Considering what they've already stolen, I doubt that would garner a response from his cohorts, especially since they no doubt know we have him. Its a shame no one has done any research into the various communities and might have stumbled across some mention of a city relatively nearby that is swimming in wealth, cuz that would be damn useful."
>>24720"I wasn't intending on getting the gold for the elves, but now that you mention it..."
"Yeah, but starving him will take days"
>>24720>suit mendsLOOT HIM
>>24722You'll have to untie him to do that
>>24723I'm not doing that until I know Tracy has disabled him and until I can cast a magic resistant circle. Can Paladins cast circles that are zero-magic zones?
>>24720Upon seeing the wounds heal, the pale pony giggles like a filly in a candy store
"We are going to have so much
fun tonight."
*lets loose with the hammer all over his legs*
>>24725*hands fire iron to pony*
>>24725I didn't say they heal, I said that the suit mends its self over the wound.
>>24724Newp
>>24720*produces cleaver*
"If I chopped your legs off, would you die?"
>>24727Break all the bones in his legs.
Cut off his feet.
>>24728"Please, you haven't the stomach for that sort of method,..."
"He's just provoking you,...." Thez warns.
>>24729Didn't you just cut off 1/3 of his legs a few posts ago?
GM wishes Thez - or anyone else in the room - had an appreciation for the degree of torture invulnerability that most high-ranking Dark Elves are forced to endure/learn so we could be past all this,....
>>24730"Thez, I was hoping to make a trip to Spinitar or the Court City soon. Now that you mention Cardishore, add that to the list. Just scouting and diplomacy, nothing serious. I was going to ask Inferius if I could borrow Uatchit for the journey. Since he is unavailable, is there a horse I can borrow for the journey? Something reasonably fast, but doesn't scream 'I am dangerous, and by the way, here is what I can use to hurt you if you want to attack me.'
>>24731>>24730Shhh! Let Tracy have her fun
>>24730>Not getting the Bane joke*blank expression* (she really wants to know if she can cut them off without losing her toy)
"Well? Would you?" she inquires in monotone
>>24733*pets pony*
"Don't worry sweetie, if he does die, I can resurrect him so you can kill him again. And he'll be in a state of hysteria the whole time too."
>>24733"Would you be so kind? Please, don't stop on my account," he replies.
>>24732"Fine, but this is getting nowhere." then to Tracy. "Make sure that you don't loosen his bindings, no matter how much you cut him up," then back to Trump. "There's Trollestia, but Slovenia and Ponimaru are probably too small. I could take you quite quickly if you don't mind the wind messing up your hair, but I can't guarantee I'd be much use once there. Why not Fae anyway?"
>>24736That IS a retarded idea! I already said, its the suit - not the dude - who is regenerating.
Speaking of which, he slips into unconsciousness. (He's been bleeding this whole time)
>>24737ReEEEEEEEE don't die on me!
Is he unconscious yet? Can I take his pants?
Also, is the vault door closed?
>>24737Lay Hands on elf to keep him from bleeding to death
>why not Fae"Simple. We defeated the Rats, Soros, and Kefka, for absolutely no other reason than that they underestimated what they were up against. What has been accomplished by accident,I now intend. If I am ambushed or attacked, I want the first time they learn I can summon an enhanced dragonne - or a friggin' cauchemar - to be when claws and flaming hooves are in their faces, and I am already flying away. I can summon either almost at will anyways.
Just taking me straight there would be fine.
Tracy can come too, if she wants, although she needs to remain innocuous"
\r
>>24738Yes, he is unconscious. You'll have to untie him in order to take his pants. Yes, the vault is closed.
>>24740>>24738"I want his Rapier and suit... I like fashion and I need a weapon that can do piercing damage..."
>>24741Thez' eye twitches, before reiterating "DON'T untie him, you'll probably regret it," True
>>24741>fashion>gross spider jumpsuitYou've got a fancy chainshirt suit, but I won't object..
I g2g for a bit.. sorry..
>>24742"Alrighty then..."
*does not untie him*
>>24738"Don't untie him Tracy"
>>24743It's a gross spider jumpsuit? Eww. Nevermind
>>24744Thez breathes a sigh of relief. "So then, assuming that no one disturbs what will very shortly be his corpse, he's probably going nowhere. I'm not sure how he did it, but he's escaped literal death before. I'd say he's a vampire, but he scoffed at a rebuke attempt by an exceptionally outranking caster. Although, if he's dead then hunger won't weaken his resolve or ability to disregard further interrogation and torture."
>>24746Casts HEAL SERIOUS WOUNDS? HEAL MODERATE WOUNDS?
>>24747Serious is better.
Darkie wakes back up with a start. "Morning already, can't I sleep in a bit? I hope there's tea,...."
>>24748"... Do you like Chamomile?"
>>24748"Oh you're too kind! I'd LOVE some, and I'm not just saying that to avoid insulting my host's taste either! Extra sweet if you please?"
I've only got a bit before I have to go fore a while.
"Stick knife in spinal cord to make him quadriplegic, because why not? Then slice the lenses out of his eye.
>>24750>>24751Hmmmm....
"How would you like to hear about our lord and savior Hitler?
*pulls out pocket Mein Kampf*
>>24752Jesus. Holy shit.
>>24752And now he's dead.
"Don't un tie him,...." Thez sing-song mentions.
>>24753He dioesn't respond to pain, so what's the use in him having nerves?
>>24754REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>24755Cure serious doesn't heal THAT much damage,....
>>24754RIP
Can I loot his shit now? Just tell us what he has and I promise I'll save most of it for Inferius and Torcuil
>>24755I guess he needed it to stay alive. Want to revive him so we can starve him? He'll be screaming the whole time after we do it
>>24756Um... RESSURECT? He's been dead not long
>>24757She said not to untie him.
>>24759You didn't leave us a choice
>>24757Can I try again at paralyzing him? There has to be a spinal section Tracy can stab him in that'll only leave him paralyzed from the the neck down.
"... Oops..."
*cuts head off*
>>24761Damn it let me resurrect him!
>>24757In order to loot his shit, you'll have to untie him. In order to take him to the entertron, you'll have to untie him OR wait for Torcuil to come out of a coma OR wait for Infernius to present himself.
>>24758I think you mean Raise Dead, which again requires Infernius. "Unless you want to ask Lenos,... which I also don't recommend doing."
>>24762He doesn't need his head for that.
Nevermind, Raise dead won't work now. Its Resurrect, or Entertron.
Next time he dies without being useful, I'm taking his soul.
>>24763Alrighty then....
*waits for Inferius*
"Thez... you sure you don't own a horse"
*looks at her*
"damn it I am not going to try to fuck it"
>>24764For the spell of ressurection or raise dead, yes he does
>>24766Have you not been listening to anything? It was clearly stated that the one way to wear down his will is to let him starve. He needs to be alive for that, and it will take a while
>>24767>head is the baseThen could we resurrect him from his head and leave his body and gear separate?
>>24768Only through the Entertron, although that might result in the original body disappearing. I'd prefer Inferius to Raise Dead so we never have to untie him.
>>24768I really hope that if he is resurrected, he'll be too hysterical to teleport out before we can shackle him
>>24767Only way that Thez knows of*
>>24767Raise dead, yes; Resurrection/Entertron, no.
>>24767"I'm sure there's probably a basic riding horse in town. Why," she says adopting a slightly sarcastic but otherwise cute demeanor, "You don't want a ride?"
>>24768Meta - its technically possible, but no. It would take far longer to research, set up, and produce the environment and tools necessary to do that.
Non-meta - No
>>24769>might result in the original body disappearingSo? What's the problem with that?
We could put his head in a barrel or steel keg, and resurrect him inside of it.
>>24772"That,... that might actually work," Thez says, surprised.
>>24773Who can cast that?
>>24773~Yay! I found an idea autistic enough to be plausible.
>>24772I never said there was a problem, I just assumed you wanted a head because head
>>24774"Resurrection? Only Infernius and Torcuil. BUT, if we cast his body in iron and
then throw him in the Entertron, that might keep him from whatever tricks he might have up his sleeves."
>>24777Thez blushes with a wink. "Shall we fit him for a body-cast first?"
>>24774"What if we just do it with his head only? Then we can loot his clothes as the rest of the body turns to dust."
*holds out severed head*
>>24779Better yet, fit him for a body cast. Remove the body, only leave the head inside, and then let him grow a new body that fits to the cast.
Ah, shoot.. I g2g for 30 minutes to an hour now..
>>24780"Well, the Entertron will simply re-grow his body, but there would be nothing detaining him at that point. If he's anchored to a barrel of heavy metal, we can be sure he doesn't go anywhere upon being revived."
>>24781This
>>24778I did not know that was possible. Is the sample what is used as the base for the new body?
>>24779"Sure, and put the dimensional shackles on him, since I found a different kind of shackle for the person I originally wanted to use those on"
>>24780"Nah, let's keep him shackled and tied up. Don't let his new body be free"
>>24781Or that, but you'd need to mold out a cast and that will take forever
>>24783Um... Trumpaladin does the thing
>>24784Yes "Yes"
>>24784"Good idea, though how does one shackle a head?"
>>24784"I never said make it comfortable, it can be as small a hole as we wish to cram him in."
K, so Thez acquires a reasonable amount of molten Iron from the forge, as well as one of the large crucibles. Placing the head inside, but tilted upward, she fills the crucible until the metal is just (just!) below the jaw. "There. Let that cool, and then pop him in the microwave. He'll undoubtably die if pulled out of there, but it should keep him alive and awake for whatever questions," Thez wonders for a moment, and then shrugs her shoulders.
Okay, Trump does the thing, and Thez assists.
>>24786"Pulled out of the Entertron? I might need that for pirates"
>>24787But he can remain the man in the mask indefinitely
>>24788"Well, he can be put back in of course,.... Come to think of it, putting him in, taking him back out, repeat might weaken his resolve much faster, and would avoid addressing how he's supposed to get hungry if his revived self is compressed into a very small space."
>>24789"I... Don't know why that would work, but I am also not the group expert on enhanced interrogation techniques. I'll leave the good-challenged members of the group to it. Do the thing, if you think it will work"
>>24790"You saw how the pirate responded, imagine having that happen over and over again (and over and over). Still, sounds boring to me. I think its safe to assume he's not going anywhere (head or torso) anytime soon. Did you still want to venture to Sparintenar or Cardashil? This has dragged on a bit and I wanna get some fresh air."
>>24791"But of course, to Sparintenar"
*grabs Football and Superbowl recording first*
I'll need to go a few minutes though
>>24792Thats fine, I could use the opportunity/break myself
>back for a bit
So, when we resurrect him, will his original body turn to dust?
>>24794"Doubtful. He's not a magical beast, so it'd probably just keep rotting."
>>24795No poison, but she does detect the scent of gunpowder.
>>24796"Is it still dangerous?"
>>24797The body, that is.
>>24793Back!
>>24795"Little pony, can you hand me Kefka's head"
>>24798*hits pony with rolled up newspaper*
>>24800*whimpers*
"I was hungry!"
>>24796>The Arab guy rigged himself with explosivesWho would have thought?
>>24799"Who knows? There's a ton of ways to cheat death in the Game. He could have a Resurrection trap-scroll on his chest that fully restores him the moment light bounces off of it, and that's just off the top of my head."
>>24800Kefka's... head?
>>24801"little pony... um... would you like to eat some leftover bird with me later?"
>>24802*fills bucket with water*
*drenches body from head to toe, dampening any explosives*
>>24803Yes, Kefka's head. The pony has it in her bag of holding in a way that preserves it
>>24804"Sure thing, ~Flashy."
[1d20 = 6]>>24803Rolling Search to detect Traps.
Thez is triggered, "I don't suppose you guys have ever seen Futurama?"
>>24807Passes note to pony
"Do you want to go to Sparentinar with me. Check yes or no"
[1d20 = 16]>>24808>nothingAww..
I'll wait until he grows the new body first.
>>24808Where exactly are you searching? The severed leg parts, or along the still-attached leg?
>>24810"I want to hatch these chicks first.. but if that what you
really want, I guess I could accomodate.."
>>24812Everything.
>>24813Okay. The smokebombs were near the ankles of his legs. That's severed, so I can readily mention. Anything else is thoroughly doubled-over with rope.
>>24814*puts smokebombs in bag*
>>24813"I can just call you if I need you"
>>24814Use keen edged letter opener to open left leg pants
>>24817The ones bound to the chair? Nothing is apparent on his legs.
The slice slowly mends its self together.
>>24817It regenerates, remember? It's some kind of creeping spooder silk.
>>24819Doe he have like a visible bag or sword sheathe?
>>24821Everything is under ropes.
>>24821"His sheathes were confiscated with his weapons (which aren't here by the way, they were taken by the Gestapo)"
>>24822Gib head
Or at least headdress
>>24824You mean Kefka right? Cuz as for Darkie, Folks just call him Buckethead
Ha!
>>24824I thought she gave the headdress to Taylor?
>>24827Then give me the head
>>24828If you're going to bucket him like Darkie, you can quick-jump cut-to if you want
>>24823Make note to go pick up those Assassin tools later on.
>>24830Wait, is he resurrecting Kefka?
>>24832That's all I could imagine he intends to do, given the previous - GM
Tracy help-out Thez with whatever it is she's doing to prepare the cast, eager to speed things up.
>>24834Its not yet confirmed that thats his intention. I'm waiting for confirmation to quick-jump cut-to.
>>24829*takes severed head*
*pets pony*
>>24832Uh... no
>>24835To Sparintenar!
>>24836But get a bag for the head or something first
>>24835I don't think it'd be wise to do them both at the same time, or at all really..
>>24836No. Staph. I wanna loot his Assassin tools.
>>24838"Oh I see, he plans to present Kefka's head to Sparintenar, so to gain easier entry," Thez says. "Not a bad strategy."
>>24839learn how to share loot, Jesus
>>24840That is a good idea.
>>24841It probably won't be usefull to anyone else anyway. Mudpony rogues can't craft for shit. I'll redistribute stuff later.
>>24844No, we all get it, then we decide who it is best for
Tracy rips out the spinal cord from the severed head stump, like in mortal combat.
>>24836Thez produces a short length (about 8') of rope and ties it to her big, shiny belt that Infernius acquired for her, then offers the other end to Tracy. "When we Woooof, you'll want to start immediately flying to maintain course and speed." She approaches Trump and puts his hands around her waist.
"You'll want to hold on," she warns with a wink.
>>24844No more secreting away loot, especially when already in Inferius's vicarious possession
>>24847"B-but.. I wanna try on his suit..!"
>>24847*holds on to Thez's waist*
>>24849"I can call you when you're done"
>>24846Actually for that matter, just hollow out the body from the outside in. Start pulling organs out of the neck. Look for items in his body.
>>24851Leave the rib-cage intact, so the ropes don't come loose.
>>24849"Fine, stay behind, I just didn't want to leave you if you wanted to go too."
>>24850"Alright then!"
<whoof>They both appear several thousand feet above the Port at a 45deg north diagonal. Her wing-contraption immediately extends, but seems heavily weighted by his armor and everything.
"Dammit, we won't crash, but"
<whooof>"Remind me to have you"
<whooof>"Stow that shit for next time."
After a brief and sarcastic bit of banter, the two touch-down a good number of yards outside Cardashil, its central spires reaching up past the domed wall surrounding it. The line is just as long as ever, and is progressing equally slowly. Thez re-bundles her glider-wings.
>>24853>Cardashil*stares at Thez*
>>24852Tracy finds a set of fine lockpicks taped to his ass.
>>24856Shit... You arrived just 5 minutes too late
>>24855*pockets lockpicks*
Dig deeper into his corpse, scraping out any and all tissue.
>>24854Sorry, yes. Sparintenar. My bad
Video re-winds and plays back in a similar manner, except Sparintenar.
Sparintenar is a very precise and deliberate looking city-state. A great deal of care has been placed to replicate throughout what embellishments can be seen (gargoyles, ramparts, windows, etc.). It is very uniform and precise.
>>24859Neat! Is there a building that clearly seems to dominate from the skyline?
Approaches city more closely
>>24860Not particularly, the outer wall has been constructed to as to prevent outsiders from looking in at all. Its very pragmatic and strategic in its design, though not lacking in a simple (almost Dwarven) aesthetic.
>>24862I recall Krenshall was a dwarven city. Is Sparintenar as well?
[1d20 = 9]>>24861The suit has a myriad of tiny little dots on it,... which curiously run to and fro. Tracy feels a slight sting in her hand.
>>24864>Oh shitInfernius is sitting in the vault, right?
>>24863>KrenshallGnomish, I think you mean to say
>SparintenarNot apparently, there are humans at the gate.
>>24866Oh yeah
Approach gate
>>24864Is.. is that a fortitude save?
Tracy saves,... barely. In response to the pain and a warm sensation at the site, her attention is directed to a number of tiny spots that are spreading out along her forearm.
>>24868Yes
>>24868If it is I think you just lost
>>24870>>24869Can't Tracy share Trumpaladin's saving throw? His is 10.
>>24872In mounted form, yes. In non-mounted form... I don't know
>>24872Plus the Charisma modifier.
>>24873No, not unmounted. Besides, Tracy's fort is +9 for rogue levels, and +2 for BG levels (maybe even an additional +1 depending on where that last level lands, I have 13 in Rogue, 1 in BG, 1 in Assasin, with 1 remaining)
>>24857What did i miss quick rundown while im reading through.
>>24867As Trump approaches the gate (and Thez close behind) he is greeted by the guards. "That's a fancy entrance you made there. A trick like that would wow some people. Can I get your name?"
>>24873Does a Paldin's mount normally need to be near/mounted on the Paladin to share the save? It's not in the description.
Fiendish servants share saves too, and a common servant is a common toad.
>>24876Tracy killed the Elf thing.
Trumpaladin mounted Tracy
Trumpaladin goes to Sparintenar
>>24876Players were noobs, got triggered by the Dark Elf, killed him, put his head in a metal bucket, and then Trump/Thez took off to make contacts in Sparintenar. Tracy did a variety of torturing/killing the Dark Elf until he died, which is why his head is now seated, partially submerged, in now-cool iron).
>>24877"Why Thank you. That was thanks to Thez, another member of my party. I am Trumpaladin"
>>24875A level 12 rogue has a +4 fortitude save. The +9 is the base attack bonus
>>24881Thez is wide-eyed, but otherwise non-responsive.
"Greetings Trumpaladin. Ordinarily I would give you a lengthy detailing about how non-citizens are under strict orders to engage in no shenanigens while inside, I suppose I can skip that bit for a paladin right? Sparintenar is open for you to enter, please take in all that our fine city-state can offer." He looks again at Thez (dark skin, oddity, still no bother).
>>24883"But of course, I have nothing but the best of intentions, and thank you"
Enters city
Looks at structures
>>24878Is Tracy kill or not?
Also, If a Blackguard uses a toad or raven as their servant, how do they share saves when one can't ride the other?
>>24882Whoops, you're rightTracy, I apologize for the mistake, but you fall flat on the ground, losing consciousness. A warm sensation drifts up your arm and,....
[3d20 = 23]>>24879>>24880*BLIND FUCKING RAGE!!!!!!!!!!!*
*attack anyone who had anything to do with the drows death.*
Infernius is in the vault, right?
[desperate hoers noises]
>>24888It was an accident...
Pls save Tracy...
Checked.
>>24885Not kill, but not well either. Blackguard servants work differently than Paladin mounts who happen to be Blackguards because the GM doesn't know how to maintain boundaries with players, but who has the chance to make things difficult so now he's going to.
>>24891Not entirely, but upon Infernius entering the room he sees a torn-apart torso, (formerly the dark elf) next to a crucible bucket with the elf's head cemented in iron. Tracy is passed out on the ground and is burning up.
>>24895Let her stay on the ground if that is your intent
>>24895Pls halp... I don't want the fetus to get brain damage..
>>24897*heals bitch hores so the bab dont die*
>>24897Oh, the fetus got brain damage from the parents by my reckoning. Xp
>>24898[grateful pony noises]
>>24900*cuts off ear*
"dont fuck with me hores."
>>24899I'll refute that when I come up with a reasonable response.
>>24898>>24900Healing Tracy results in her gaining consciousness, but she's still stricken with poison and delirious.
>>24899Do you mean genetic or the other thing they've been doing?
>>24901[pained pony noises]
"H-hello..." she says weakly
GM suspects he's going to enjoy this
>>24907*cures poision*
*punches face multiple times*
"NOT YOU OBJECT TO KILLLLLLL REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE"
>>24905Surely only the things that they've been doing, I wouldn't dare suggest otherwise.
[3d20 = 21]>>24909Infernius feels several sharp pricks along the hands that are holding Tracy
>>24910So... enters Sparintinar
>>24911*IGNORES THEM*
*continues punching*
>>24911Are those things crawling along Tracy now? Is she going to get bitten again?
>>24909".. I.. I d-didn't
mean to kill him! I tried to paralyze him so that he couldn't slip away, but then I popped the wrong disk! Ouch!"
He saves (this time for sure, barely) but he notices several little spots running around along his hands.
>>24917She's not a threat at the moment, she hasn't even regained her feet. Though, she can see without looking too hard that there are several on her person, assuming more haven't hidden themselves amongst her armor and clothes.
>>24918Yes, spooder. You have JUST a moment to decide what to do.
>>24919Kek, you have your priorities straight
>>24920[delerious pony noises]
"... They're kind of cute..."
>>24921*i rip out tracys right eye*
Crawl towards Entertron as soon as she can.
>>24924Wow, wow, wow! Uncool.
>>24927Pay attention. You might learn something about how to torture non-lethally
>>24928He didn't respond to pain. Idk if he could even feel pain. That's why I thought it would be a swell idea to paralyze him.
>>24927"me anger sated"* heals pony fully except for ear* "me keeping this so you no forget"
>>24930*doesn't bother trying to get ear back*
*Moves towards Entertron*
>>24931*takes to entertron*
>>24932Isn't she still covered in adorable spooders though?
>>24931Let your husbando heal your ear
I hate to say this but.... bottle a spider
>>24933infernuis dosent care
>>24934I gotta try to get this webbing off first, or at least glamour it..
If Tracy survives this, we could use her blood to make an antidote. Antivenom is made by injecting horses with poison to create antibodies, after all.
[1d20 = 8][3d20 = 34]>>24924Okkay,....
>>24925Good choice. Tracy crawls out of the room "Oh no you don't!" a squeaky voice can be heard.
Thats what I would have said, dice included, but I had to restart my computer so I'll start from the entertron
Oh snap, its a good thing too!
>>24938Inferius is already immune by virtue of not being a bitch. And Trumpaladin ain't gettin' near those things
>>24939>is spookedFucking gallop at full speed, use momentum to land in Entertron
>>24933Yes, she is, and he's got a fair number on him now as well.
"Hey bub, listen up," comes a squeaky squirrel-voice from next to Infernius' ear.
>>24939my heart might explode.
>>24943Don't kill yourself with it
>>24946Some spider bites do that...
>should've known that the suit could only be worn by an assassin with poison immunity
>>24912Meanwhile, the City-state of Sparintenar is a sprawling and successful city full of,... embellished but less so amenities. There is plenty of places to eat and shop, all sporting nice-ish merchandise of a uniform variety. The food smells a little bland, but perfectly acceptable (as far as sustenance), and aside from a few tattered posters that can be seen along the corners of streets, there doesn't seem to be anything of note beyond the general 'basics'.
>>24949Its more complicated than that, but yeah. Thez didn't know why he was dangerous even if dissected, but theres a reason she said not to untie him
>>24951Has she made it to the Entertron.
>>24950Fascinating
Approach citizen, preferably anyone who looks like a business man
But first: what do the posters say? Inspect poster
>>24952Does the Entertron kill spiders?
>>24955No, but it'll keep her alive long enough to figure out the next step
or produce home-made antivenom.
>>24956Could make her hysterical...
>>24957She's already hysterical.
To Infernius> Yeah you, we've got you guys by the balls. If you don't want to end up sprawled on the ground, bleeding from every orifice and pore, you'll do EXACTLY as We say.
>>24952Sure
>>24954The posters are faded and worn, and clearly allude to a festival/performance that is long since past, but show a purplish figure that seems a little familiar. By the way, Thez has wandered off.
*considers eatng hoers eyeball*
>>24959"ME EAT YOU ALL ALIVE!!!!!!!!"
INTIMIDATION CHECK
>>24959Talk to citizen, looking for one who looks like a businessman
>>24962It finally happened... Inferius rolled a 20
>>24959>healedWhat are the spiders doing?
>>24964He didn't say "healed"...
[5d20 = 51]>>24960Eat it, it grew back in the entertron.
>>24961"Have it your way bub," the squeak replies. (bite bite bite bite bite)
>>24964The ones on you? They're biting, successfully but unsuccessfully.
Aaaaaand Infernius loses consciousness.
>>24968Doesn't necessarily stop enemies from attacking...
>>24966*Transforms*
*kills spookers with fire*
>>24968Intimidation, yes. But you're not dealing with "your average" bunch of spooders.
>>24954Meanwhile
>>24954The posters depict a purple female with wings and a tail, bespeckled with gilt and monies, in a slightly suggestive pose. The writing seems to indicate a long since event.
>>24970>those posters.......
>>24970Oh dear, it's worse than I feared. First, look into the skyline for any buildings that seem more prominent than the others
>>24969Okay, NOW Tracy can be said to be safe from getting knocked the fuck out. Imagine how difficult this would be if Thez HADN'T insisted on not untying him
[1d20 = 16]>>24970>>24970>>24969anger intensifies
*makes sure spooders are kill*
Walks back into room, and lights bull on fire with super-heated hoof*
>>24971>>24972Oh yes.
<whooof> "ITS HERE! They called it something totally different in the last reboot!" Squeek! "I'll be back soon!" Thez quickly spits out before <whoof>
>>24975*away quickly to avoid any spooders, and watches bull burn*
>>24978>>24975>implying i care
>>24974Shush, you're unconscious and dying
>>24977I'm SURE I've explained that at LEAST once
>>24975As Tracy emerges from the infirmary and into the main area, Thez flies into the entry like a bolt, and rolls off the momentum, before springing to her feet.
"HOOOORAYY!" she exclaims, before seeing Tracy (a little pale,... even for Tracy) "Uhm,... something happened didn't it?"
>>24981Look for important appearing building
>>24980I gotta gert rid of the spooders somehow
>>24981>*is standing next to burning bull*".... There was a spider... I think it's gone now though..."
>>24983Infernius is in the vault. This is interjected before Tracy is able to return to him, and takes place in the main hall area.
>spooder"I warned you about those, didn't I? (checks log) Yes! I specifically did!"
she storms off toward the vault, careful to walk on air and not the ground.
>>24987Meta spoilers - So far, assuming no spooders escaped while the vault door was (is) open.
>>24985Tracy follows, levitating with her shoes and flaming hooves
>>24987Unicorns are immune to poison.
>>24982There are several buildings that seem more important than others, but they all seem to pertain to guild halls, churches, and other civic congregational points. Nothing administrative or discretionary appears.
>>24990Walk towards a guild hall, try to find a person to engage
>>24989Thez storms into the vault, slamming the door behind Tracy. "SPOODER! I REALLY don't want to have to,... oh to hell with it. Tracy, set I'nis on fire."
>>24992*gladly obliges, leaving a hoof-shaped brand on his ass*
>>24991"Greetings good sir. You look unfamiliar. Is this your first visit to Sparintenar? Welcome! Can I be of service?" says a smiling fellow, just outside one of the civic centers.
>>24992flowcharts keep going down the current path.
Infernius burns for a minute, Thez picks him up (while burning) and then walks back to the door. She pauses at the entrance, and waits for Tracy to get position behind her. "Ready?"
>>24996"Nope, but just fuck it."
*follows*
>>24994"Hello! I am indeed a stranger to this town. I love the appearance so far. I come from Port Barry, and I believe I might have something to offer this town. Could you tell me about your trade, who runs it, how things have been working, and who I can talk to to make trade deals?"
>>24997The two quickly jump through the door, Thez intent on preventing any spooders from escaping, before stopping on the other side of the closed door. She's agitated and has a little trouble controlling herself. "Don't open the door! At least all his bits are inside the vault, which is warded against any dimensional/transportational interference. There's probably a spooder or two that escaped, so keep on your guard (keep the shoes on). I'll be back," <whooof>
>>25000Waifu thief boops one of his new waifus
Xp
Upon <whooof> Thez drops Infernius in the Entertron, careful to smack any spots that have attached themselves. "Sorry spooder,..." before <whoof>
>>24998"You'd want to check with the Center of Commerce! I'm sure they'll be more than happy to discuss terms of any trade arrangement you wish to look over. That building is right over there," he points.
>>24999>implying you didnt do that already.
"Thez. Why U no say anything when I stayed behind and and explicitly said: 'but I wanna try on his suit'?"
>>25006She didn't know the suit was how he did anything, she just knew that there were spooders. She did say watch out for spooders.
>>25004"Thank you! But before I go, if you don't mind telling me... Do you feel like anything is missing in life? Like there's something you and everyone want, but this city does not have?"
Make note of building to which he points
>>25005True, just solidifying claims with still more digits
>>25006Tracy finds herself booped, from a great distance
>>25003Thez gets booped, from a distance
>>25006... spooder, spooder spooder spooder, blessed by lloth,... er,... spooders,....
I don't want to have to make her explanations unrealistically over the top myah,....
>>25008Oh dear, that technically includes Thez doesn't it. We'll put that on the backburner for now.
>>25010no no let him do it.
Alright. Tracy is outside the vault, hovering over the ground cuz thats safest.
Infernius wakes up in the Entertron.
Trump is still doing his thing in Sparintenar
Thez,... will show up in a few moments.
Still hoping to hear from Sad Alex, Taylor and Norfilly, but not holding my breath on those. The latter appears to have posted but not here (no bully) and the formers are a burgers so who fuggin' knows.
>>25013I can summon Nordfilly if you need to at some point. I can tell you he is asleep right now
>>25008 "The only thing 'missing' is some fine entertainment! We don't really have any time to invest in preparing or developing aesthetics, beyond a momentary suggestion or two, so if you know any entertainers, they'd be most welcome - and profitable - here in Sparintenar!"
>>25015"I see. Thank you!"
Goes to the Chamber of Commerce
Tracy contemplates returning to her eggs, but decides to hear-out what Thez has to say first.
>>25014No worries then, just wondering if he had abandoned the Game. No bully, again, but with increasingly less 'stronk-centered' gameplay, he/she could readily participate without (most) issues.
Trollestia is booped
Slovenia is booped
>>25017Thez whoofed away, but will probably be back soon.
>>25016As Trump is nearing the Chamber of Commerce, Thez comes streaking from the heavens like a bolt to <crash> into the ground near/in-front of him. She shakes off any dazed-ness and hands him a scroll. "I don't have time to explain. Just,... give them this. Insist its genuine." <whoof>
>>25019So many boops,....
>>25020Kek. I'm'a boop you too at some point
>>25021Accepts doubtlessly satanic scroll
"Thank you Thez, but one more thing before you go." Gets close to thez Very close. "Boop"
Goes into Building
>>25023>boop*Earth explodes*
>>25023[Pops out from behind a tree near trump]
"Boop"
>>25025If you go to Sparintar there's amazing opportunities for Entertainers there. They'll love performances
"boop"
>>25024*boops Tracy yet again*
>>25023GM accepts pre-<whooof> boop
>>25025Welcome back! I thought u might be scurred. Where is she anyway? I'd assume the tower, but I'm open to suggestion.
GM steps back a moment as the thread erupts in BOOPs
>>25025>>25027She was said to be performing concerts in the area as default. Couldn't she have gone to Sparitar herself?
>>25029Yes, but those concerts would have been low-effort, local things. Nothing that would involve economic or political maneuvering, just local affairs which would have endeared her to Port Barry. Anything more involved requires player input.
>>25030Yeah, but couldn't she have traveled, is what I'm saying?
>>25023>satanicOh shush, that's the scroll she said "that phrase" to get.
>>25025Thez flies in, crashes against the entry staircase and speeds off saying "Heygoodtoseeyoubutsorrytheresspooders,..."
*goes into workshop to look for gasoline or some other flammable liquid*
>>25032"How would you like to make a damned fine splash at the half-time show of Sparinitar's first big Football Game. Get your own recording contract too. Top 40's hits"
>>25033It's a pop-music recording contract...
>>25032Its a little late for that, he's in a completely different city at this point
>>25031Last time I attempted to emote characters I was quickly rebuked, so without any particular character guidelines I am unwilling to attempt to describe/dictate what characters are doing in the meantime, so no
>>25034Go to Slovenia. I bet you that lovely pony could make a flamethrower if you asked her
\r
>>25035T- top 40 its always been my dream. Just like godess Taylor.
>>25035Yes it is. And this is the city it pertains to. It wasn't called that at the time, so there might be a tad bit of confusion, but the posters (all considered) clearly depict Thez,....
As far as the situation in the Tower. All players are ourside the vault, and are healed from spooders. Thez suggested to be wary of stray spooders, but otherwise the source of spooder is locked in the vault. Players are
mostly safe (sorry Taylor, hope ur not scared of spooders).
>>25037She's a carpenter though... Why not?
"Hey, sister. I don't have very much time to chat, but do you have any gasoline or flamethrowers around here by any chance?"
>>25012hopefully ill drown in here.
Thez speeds up to Tracy. "You didn't let any out did you? Good!" she speeds away. A moment later she speeds up to Infernius' position in the Entertron.
"You, what're you doing in there? You look sad! What's the problem? Oh, you have some spooders on you."
>>25038"Sparintenar is the city of dreams. It's the best place to do it"
>>25039*Still goes into the Chamber of Commerce Building*
>>25041Y U so salty tonight?
>>25043K. There are a variety of different sorts and shapes and sizes operating in various groups and lines, with occasional assortments of booths. There's a large table area that says "Information" at the front.
>>25045Go to Information!
>>25046Like Infernius didn't go to town for over an hour while GM waited for no reason to hear what was going to become of Trump and Tracy,.... btw Thez informed Infernius she likes to have her hands tied by her braid yeah,...
>>25047"Greetings sir, how can I help forward your request." the clerk says slightly monotone.
>>25049"Who may I speak to about a certain... recording contract? I have a scroll in my possession"
>>25048Do you mean last night?
>>25050The clerk sighs. "One moment," walks away and another fellow, approaches.
"Good day to you sir. I understand you wish to negotiate for a record contract. You must undersand these are very slight and not frivilously offered,...."
>>25051Yes, last night, while GM was waiting to see if that whole "holding the sword 4 kill" actually resulted in kill, meanwhile they were humping like bunnies.
Its like having an indescrete room-mate ffs
*double-checks body for spooders*
*Returns to sauna to keep check on the eggs*
>>25053KEK
E
K
>>25052I wish Tracy's Faggot had been up for that. I really wanted to see the response
>>25052"Hello, I wish to speak to you actually about an already existing contract. And then, I wish to speak to you about a brand new opportunity"
>>25052im confused as to what you mean.
>>25054*sits on eggs*
Activate sauna.
>>25044infernuis feels like thez dont love him as much as he loves her. and that makes him really really sad.
>>25056"An existing contract? You're new here so I can't say,..." his jaw drops. "Please wait one moment,...."
>>25057I have Infernius and Thez doing the nasty for a while (A LONG WHILE), while GM (me) waited to see if Trump did something lasting with Korak's sword, which he placed for a kill-shot on Tracy.
*steam rises off of pony*
GM sighs.
Okay. The clerk goes to verify the authenticity of the contract, given that the person presenting it is not anything like anyone previously associated.
Thez is running about like mad, trying to address the spooder situation. She didn't imagine any hurt feels from Infernius, in fact she's still outside the entertron, where he woke up, waiting for a response. Tracy is alive and well, outside the vault (unless she moved), Taylor is wherever, but probably (probably) safe, and,... did I forget anyone? Torcuil is still a coma-mummy.
>>25065Too late, he's a city away. You'll have the chance to join him before too long, don't worry.
*was and is, respectively
>>25063*waits with confidence*
>>25065Shit I'll try to get you a spot
>>25066>unless she movedSee
>>25054 >>25058
>>25063>Korak's sword.Pic related is the story of my life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Le9sLw2VdUg>>25066It's because I booped Thez...
Tracy picks up her cloak and continues stitching, the rooms temperature rapidly rising.
Thez, outside the Entertron where Infernius is still sitting, waits to hear from him. "I waited as long as I could, but the situation with others demanded my attention! I couldn't let them proceed alone, they'd have gotten all of us killed by now! You're not going to hold it against me for going off,... are you" she said before GM got called away for some BS, the rest to follow
GM is back and Thez continues "I know its probably emasculating for ur (technically Flashy's now) waifu to be stronger, and to have more experience with all manner of RP shenanigens which can rear themselves at a moments notice, but PLEASE understand, I DO love you and I DID keep GM up all night with a variety of descriptions of the positions we were passionately and frivolously getting it on to/in!!"
Meanwhile the clerk returns to Trump. "Sir, I'm a bit taken aback. Is this authentic, as in, can you present something to verify its authenticity? This document is most significant, but raises a number of necessary questions."
In the background, a pair of guards lock the door.
>>25078Thez gets bumped in the head with a super-pigeon. It carries the following note:
"Want to go on a date with one of your partners? There's no better place that the Trump Grill! Try our amazing steaks!"
>>25077>>25078"this isnt about you running off."
>technically Flashy's now
Do the eggs move at all frequently?
>>25081"Oh please, that's just some trips fun!" beat-beat-beat-beat on the Entertron.
>>25082Yes, a bit
>>25081"Then what IS it about?!" you have her attention, unequivocally. Trust me on that, she WANTS to say more, but is waiting.
Sorry Tay, its a little,... complicated. Hopefully it will be resolved soon, where you can be transported to Sparintenar and do a marvelous show in front of countless faire-goers who have never seen nor heard of Taylor Swift, but who are most entranced by her style and performance
So, where are the characters that are in the tower atm? Tracy is in the stables sitting on her eggs.
>>25083"you think meme magic is a joke?"
>>25086'Tis true
>>25084GM, can Slovenia be wooed by digits?
>>25086Torquil is the meme mage though.
If I could do it, I'd be dropping memes 24/7.
>>25086You cut my Tracy's ear off though... And plucked her eye
>>25085Infernius is in the Entertron, Taylor is probably in the main area
wondering wtf is going on no doubt, Torcuil is still in a coma, Trump is in Sparintenar, Tracy is as described, and Thez is frantically pressed against said Entertron.
>>25086"Frivilously applied, yes! Its the magic of the individual that makes memes have any potential or significance! You think recurring digits could in some way sway me from you? You think that a quick post from some faggot could undo the feeling of someone
else carrying my unconscious form after I'd exhausted myself - not once but
twice?" yeah, she's crying again,.... "I don't contest that there is a degree of magic to memes and such significant circumstances," she wipes tears away "But if you thnk that I'll let some FAGGOTS on an anon-board dictate reality to me,... you don't know the first thing do you?"
>>25089she un did all my hard work.
>>25091Not all, you forget there's a booth for fixing broken peoples.
>>25091She deserved it, but she's
my waifu to physically beat
>>25090Protest all you want Thez, it can't un-boop you
>>25091>undidWhat progress was that, exactly?
We'll just resurrect him.
We made a body cast, so we can keep killing him over and over and he'll stay in one piece.
>>25093Please don't make this a meta-argument, that would be bad
>>25093>asking to get booped by ThezYou'll rue the day you taunted her...
>>25094Also this. Thez made up for Tracy's fuckery
>>25095Only if you tell me who comes to see Trumpaladin as the contract is verified
>>25096I am not asking to get booped. Thez is the one who got booped. And you got booped too, by a sword this morning
>>25097<rumbling sounds can somehow be heard>Don't worry, you'll get your answer in a moment. For the moment however, your response is delayed.
>>25098Booping is like >rape: the only way to unboop yourself is to boop your booper.
Thez still waits, patiently, for Infernius' response,... even though her record contract (THE record contract) is being negotiated in her absence.
>>25102Wait... it hasn't been negotiated yet? I thought the terms had been set
Oh shit
\r
>>25098Stout guard surround and place their hands on Trump.
"Sir, you've presented some outlandish documents. While apparently valid, there are inconsistencies that cannot be ignored. We're going to have to ask you to come with us." The guards behind nudge him forward.
>>25090"look im sorry i just feel betrayed about what happen the other night. me still love you but if he does that enough me dont know what could happen to reality but me do know i love you with all me heart."
*climbs out and holds ana close to me and dries her tears*
"will you marry infernuis?"
>>25104"But of course"
>>25103>>25102NOW I am afraid of Thez
>>25105Awww...
>>25105"Of course. OF COURSE! I've been waiting for you to say it, even though I made you wear a ring of mine. A thousand times and a thousand years, of course!" she breaks down crying, nestled in his arms, because even her brecious recording contract is second fiddle. Tidbit, the recording contract
was her most prized possession.
Meanwhile, Trump is being escorted to a secure room.
I so didn't plan any of this!Tracy meanwhile warms her eggs, watchful for 'animated spots'.
Infernius is busy, as is Thez, so the story involves Trump, as well as Tracy who wishes to respond.
>she finds a curious note taped to her, that says "Trump is in trouble, needs a show-person. R u game? Take Fae, IDK why he didn't. - T"
Excuse me, I meant to say Taylor (too many T names!)
That was definitively for Taylor
>>25101Um... just in case, please be ready
Hoping Taylor wasn't scared off
*Hums, still watching the eggs*
>>25112"He's probably gotten himself into some shit again, be ready," Fae offers as she flies off. It isn't long before Taylor touches down outside Sparintenar. The guards are most welcoming to a lovely young woman such as her, without even asking her purpose or reason for entering. She can immediately discern there is a gathering of guards around the center of commerce, but otherwise (aside from some Thez posters,... she's better at reading posters than Trump) there appears no immediate impetus.
>>25114I continue towards the guards.
>>25114To one of the guards in his vicinity inside of the building
"Is there an issue?"
>>25116My client,have you seen him?
>>25116"Please step forward sir, your documents are highly suspect, and you're being detained until furher notice"
you get it? fuhrer notice?>>25117"You have a client? You look like a main attaction to me!" Laughter erupts from the guards assembled.
>>25118Aw thats sweet of y'all to say. But have you seen a man in gold armor?
>>25113>>25118>>25113>>25113"Alright then"
CALL MOUNT - TRACY CAGE
>>25119"You don't mean the guy inside? Hold on a minute."
He disappears.
From inside
>>25116"Hold on a second!" calls a guard from the other end of the building. "There's a hawt chick at the entrance who describes a guy just like him. Maybe we should check him out before,... you know."
>>25113Tracy feels a compelling voice calling to her from a distance. She can perceive the distance, and fixate on the location. Its that way.
>>25120>>25122Okay then.
*gets up, eyes blank*
".. I have to go.." She says in a monotone
*steps out of the stables, immediately transforms, and flies off as a dashing blue bolt*
>>25123Did not mean to shitpost so ironically there.. Was picking stuff out of my Taylor folder.
It's perfect though.
>>25125
meh
*is blazing towards the city*
>>25123>>25124>>25125Topest of keks.
>>25123She's not compelled, but she is called.
>>25124Oh fug, its been you the whole time hasn't it?
>>25127Hoping nevermind.
So is Taylor negotiating with the guards, or is Tracy's faggot playing 2 characters?
>>25126*cough* You can teleport through the Etheral Plane *cough*
>>25128Im negotiationing for you fagoot.
>>25130>>25128Oops thought you were trump.
>>25131So the guards holding Trump are stalled, while Taylor (outside) pleads her case.
GM thinks its time for an impromptu meme-song performance,... its not required but it would make the scene nicely
[1d20 = 4]>>25129>teleportCan she do that?
*teleports behind you*
"You called?"
Rolling Intimidate (+21 in this form) to scare the ever-living piss out of everyone around, with a sudden appearance with smoke and fire.>Monotone, but with a monster's voice"Now, just what are all you little dorks doing with my husband?"
Meanwhile, Thez continues to bawl and sniffle, while Infernius pretends to neither bawl and sniffle, Tracy sits atop eggs, Torcuil is still in a coma, and Trump waits to see if his anal cavity is violated.
>>25133NO teleport. Good show, but it will take Tracy a minimum of 4 rounds to arrive on scene, assuming she doesn't need any direction (which she would).
>>25132Look if you let my friend go ill put on a free concert for the city. Heres a simple song.
https://youtu.be/3tmd-ClpJxA
>>25133>directionScratch that, just 4 rounds
>>25133For the first time perhaps ever, Trumpaladin is not startled in the least
*mounts Tracy*
To Guards: "She came for me. This fine mare right here is my performer. Does a Damned fine rendition of "Ghost Rider's in the Sky"
To Tracy:
"Situation's fucked. Thez gave me a bad contract, or maybe the Guards mistakenly believed that I was representing myself as Thez. I have no idea. All I can say, is mission failed, and get me the fuck out of here. Use your etheralness, your smoke, your smoke bombs, let be use your smoke cane, whatever, just get me the fuck out of here"
>>25134Use ether and skills to make it seem as though she appeared out of nowhere.
>>25137WHOA now, Tracy DOESN'T show up. Tracy is en route, but don't get ahead of yourself. Taylor is pleading your case at the moment.
>>25139I know my move regardless. I prepared for this contingency
Tracy moves at more than twice Fae's speed, and can move at three times that speed momentarily. Why didn't it take Fae four rounds?
>>25139Unless the guards are willing to talk
>>25139>>25142"Now hol' up. hol' up. What kind of inconsistencies?"
>>25140Oh you did?
In response to Taylor's impromptu performance (not sure how she did the narrative bit at the end but kek) they're completely sold. "Please, forgive us for doubting! Let us usher you inside!"
At the same time, Tracy comes crashing through one of the windows of the building, before anyone can respond. As Taylor is brought forward, and Tracy shuffles off debris and broken glass,... scene:
(whoever, do ur thing)
Way too much like that time I was detained at the Federal Courthouse in Dallas...
>>25141It didn't take Fae 4 rounds, it took Thez 4 rounds, and only cuz Trump's armor is heavy as fug
>>25144Im not the only t swift you know back on erde we discovered multiverse travel.
>>25144"All part of the show, folks!"
>>25148Ah yes tracy. Come here.
>>25148The counter guy gives Trump a look.
Guards move to restrict both Taylor and Tracy, not sure whats going on.
>>25150Chill out guys shes my horse.
>>25149At this, the guards form a sort of perimeter, neither detaining nor obstructing Taylor or Tracy.
please continue
[1d20 = 5]I wanted to appear out of nowhere like a ghost (
>>25138 ), but whatever....
First do this
>>25133Then:
>>25137"Awww, I thought you'd want to make a mess first."
[protective, but bloodthirsty nightmare noises]
*looks over at
Intimidate +21
"It seems we got off on the wrong hoof here, sweethearts. If you don't mind, we'll be taking our leave."
[growling nightmare noises]
>>25149"Taylor? When did you get here?"
>>25151>my horse
>>25153Thez gave me a note.
>>25144That was the purpose of keeping the mounts in reserve. Have a way to fight or flee from the scene should it go sour>>25149I'm Trump...
>>25150"I'm sorry, I believe there has been some sort of misunderstanding. I am here as an agent for several performing artists. I'm... Not sure why the mare came through the window but we'll fix that"
>>25153*pets Cauchemar*
"just one minute Tracy"
>>25153"No mess, little pony"
*whispers*
"Do NOT let them know you can plane shift"
>>25154"Ah.. I should've guessed. Thiss contract thingy is her business anyway."
[growling monster noises]
"So..? Did I miss the party? Or did it just start?"
>>25156noted
>>25155Trump emerges, amidst the the very unnerved guards (more of whom are appearing from behind doors with weird cylinders in their hands).
>>25153I intuited the crash, should I not? Probably best to roll with it though. - GM
>>25157My friends here where just leting the don go.
Taylor stands before a group of guards who seem favorably impressed, Tracy is surrounded by guards who seem DECIDEDLY distressed, and Trump is flanked by guards who are bored.
>>25158"Hold up, Hold up, Don't you appreciate a good show, all of you? That's what we're here for. To entertain and put on a show"
>>25160Cast calm on the distressed guys.
And meanwhile, there was much humpage between Infernius and Thez, who may not have entirely made their way out of the Entertron (what, its true,...)
[1d20 = 15]>>25159"Oh, I see there no problem then.
..
RIGHT?"
Intimidate +21 Check
>>25162Save it for later. I'm scarring them first.
>>25163i am totally fine with this.
>>25162That'll work. Several of the unaffected guards note the use of magic, but don't call alarm at it.
>>25164Tracy picks on some of the guards, enraged an enflamed (though not full size,... still intimidating tho)
>>25165"S... s... stahp,.... no d... don't.... s... stahp"
sorry, not sorry
>>25164"Psst! Tracy! Want to locate Thez's Contract?"
>>25166>they log everything we doFuck
>>25167Psst! The guy has it still. Let this play out
>>25166*nibblees them elf ears*
Trumpaladin did get on her back, right?
Taylor and Tracy, you have the floor. Taylor isn't sure exactly what is being played out, but she can see that its more 'involved' than a normal procedural (as the environment would indicate should take place). Tracy likewise doesn't know what is going on, but she can tell that there are a number of guards who are surrounding, and that no one is attacking but there's ALOT of fear in the room.
"Alright, that's about enough of this." says a squeaky voice from the far (away from the door) end.
>>25169To the Guards
"What is the issue here exactly?"
>>25164"Tracy dear, can I borrow your cane?"
>>25172He's standing right next to her with an arm over her about to Jump on, so it doesn't look like he intends to ride her out, but he could do it quickly
[1d20 = 11]>>25173Listen +21
Home-in on the squeaky voice.
>>25174"I.. I might want to use it in a bit.."
*begrudgingly offers cane*
Get on.
>>25173So what exactly is taking so long sir/ma'am
>>25176Gets on the horse
*whispers*
"I wanted something that could produce smoke..."
>>25174He's not that close, there's at least 2 car-lengths between them.
>>25171Meanwhile, Thez orgasms all over the inside face of the Entertron.
what?"Men, stand DOWN!" The squeak commands, authoritatively despite its diminuative tenor. The assembled guards assume an at attention stance, except those immediately surrounding either Taylor or Tracy.
>>25177>3 minutes>so longI gave Taylor a chance to interject
>>25178Whoa there, see above
>>25179Smiles at squeaky man
[1d20 = 15]>>25178>*speaks into mind*'I can do that..'
Isn't Elway's giant face statue in there?
A squirrel wearing a combat helmet wanders its way in front of the bureaucrat. Over his shoulder is an oversized pipe with a handle on it. "Just what the fuck do you think you're doing in my city? Answer quick, its easier to clean you off the pavement."
>>25180Walks up to the man and says hello.
Taylor recognizes the device as a modified RPG
>>25182"We're here to open up trade and provide entertainment, of course!"
\r
[1d20 = 9]>>25182Cast Cause Fear
"I came here to pick-up my husband. Who the fuck are you?!"
Intimidate +21
>>25180The squirrel regards Trump, then motions to his men for a full rundown. As they're giving it, Trump says
>>25185
>>25179*bites down her neck softly* (like a lion does while fugging.)
>>25184Hey man my friend here is free to go. Ive made a deal with your men his release for a free concert.
>>25184How much does it weigh?
>>25185The squirrel leaps in the air and fires his RPG at the ground, vaulting him effortlessly onto Trump's head. "Entertainment? Is that what you call this?" <bonk>
As the stars clear Trump's head, Tracy attempts Cause Fear, which may work on the guards (I'm not gonna bother rolling), but which the squirrel walks right through and up to. "And you, is that supposed to be impressive?" He yoda-flips over to Taylor. "Cute, but you're in the shit now." he strides away, brimming with confidence. He points to Trump: "You've got documents that couldn't POSSIBLY be authentic, because there isn't anyone in this whole CITY who could validate them EXCEPT me, because they were written for PLAYERS." he points to Tracy "I don't even know what's going on with you, what, a flaming pony? FFS!" and then points at Taylor "You just LOOK too innocent, I don't trust you either!"
Back at Trump. "I don't know your game, but so help me, if one of these men gets so much of a blister I'll",... he trails off, giving players an opportunity to interject something that might distract or defer him.
>>25191Smiling
"Oh, you've yet to see entertainment. And those documents are absolutely genuine. The real deal. Thez is the elder of our party"
>>25188meanwhile, the sexin'
>>25189>he touched him[angry nightmare noises]
>>25192He spins, and glares intimdatingly (for a squirrel) at Trump. "You can validate these claims? And what of this one?" points at Taylor "I hear she made a stir amongst the guards outside." nods from the guards just inside the door.
>>25194*MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*
*smoke rises off of angry nightmare*
Gib cane.
>>25193>>25196"Yes, Thez. The musical sensation. She's with us. Not at the moment, but with our party generally. She can perform even more.
As for her, she's a damned fine talent all of her own. Just listen to one of her musical numbers. Watch her dance routine. You'll see."
>>25198I would if I could
>>25199The squirrel waves his wee hand, and the guards around Taylor relax a bit. He rests those wee hands on his bazooka.
>>25197>orgasms intensifyMOOOO isn't normally erotic, but it works
>>25201Chill out squirrel.
>>25204He tilts his head. "So you're a performer then? This is as good a time as any." still with that squeaky voice.
>>25206Yea i was gonna do a concert if you let us go.
>>25201*after the squirrel speaks to Tay*
"You'll get everything you want from Thez, and this one here. But honestly, that's not why I came to you. I came to you to offer you something greater. Not just songs - and you WILL get those - but an entire way of life"
>>25207"Tay, I can get you more than a concert. Now play for all of us"
>>25202hey, hes a minotuar.
>>25207"Show me."
>>25208He raises his wee hand to Trump, clearly interested now in the lovely blond who his attention has been directed to.
>>25210I KNOW that, but one would expect a more bestial sort of grunt or whatever, oh nevermind, keep doing it
>>25209[Plays smoke on the water]
>>25211i thought it was funny for his orgasm sounds to be loud ass moos.
>>25213*tracys for some reason thinks infernuis would be cherring*
[1d20 = 16]>>25212>GM can't find Taylor Swift doing smoke on the water.>>25212that
>>25213 would have worked better, esp since the guards outside already were impressed by it. Wanna swap quick?
>>25212It doesn't have to be,... but for continuity of character and effect, a Taylor Swift song would be best,... you've already got the dice roll needed,....
Spoiler alert, the game is set. The party is going to be escorted, agreements and arrangements are going to made, and players will find themselves making accords. Its not bad.
>>25216But wouldnt it be tacky to do that song again?
Trumpaladin tries to see if he can get Tracy closer to him as Tay plays
>>25219*walks right up to him*
>empathetic link
>>25221This one is lovely too.
>>25219IMO, yes, but I can't find a compelling rendition of Smoke on the Water that fits with Taylor's motif. We can go with that if you really want, but I think the scene can be completed a little better than that. Blank Space, Shake it off,....
>>25221That'll work
>>25222*hands cane to Cauchemar, and tries to sooth her*
"It's alright, the danger has passed. Now, it's time to extend a franchise"
>>25225>is soothed"..Hmmm.. Don't go putting yourself in trouble now.. I get worried.."
>>25221*tries to surpress love of country music*
>>25224This was a better choice, granting a positive modifier for the scene (it fits with the mentality of a militaristic society that is unaccustomed to overt social/romantic expressions).
Long story short, at the close of the song the guards are all cheering and relaxed. The squirrel of course hasn't moved.
"I don't know who you all are. You make quite an entrance,"
mutters something about the front door and not causing a stir he walks right up to Trump. "I have two questions for you. Well, one question really. I expect you will join me for dinner. My request is that you consider selling me that fine steed of yours," he says indicating Tracy. "That one's a FIGHTER!"
>>25226"Little pony, don't you see? That's why I need you. I go in to try to talk things out. And if that fails, fight or flight is best."
Looks right at her and grabs her cute horsey cheeks
"And that's where you come in"
>>25228"But of course I'll join you for dinner!"
Laughs
"Indeed she is a fighter, but she's not for sale. I came here to sell you something... better. Something all of your citizens will appreciate and love you more for"
[1d20 = 18]>>25228Rolling to bite the little faggot's head off (sorry if it works)
As the squirrel speaks his praise, and as his demeanor increasingly shows that the situation and tenseness is diminishing, the soldiers and guards clap their hands on Taylor's shoulders, and nod appreciatively to Tracy (they don't wanna touch cuz fire). Expressions of acknowledgement are cast Trump's way as he exchanges with the squirrel.
>>25230... or just snap close to him..
The squirrel loses a tuft of hair in the process, literally matching the required DC of Tracy's dice roll.
He lands a few feet away. "You see? A FIGHTER! You sure you won't consider?" to Trump, this time from a safer distance.
>>25235[watchful nightmare noises]
*narrows eyes at squirrel, in an 'I'm watching you' sort of glare*
>>25235Trumpaladin is as stunned as the Squirrel
"... First, I think you should hear the offer I came here to make. Something as good - greater, perhaps - then any entertainment you've experienced before"
*death glare at Tracy*
"Flashy is working a business deal, sweetie"
>>25238She's a fighter. What can I say?[whimpers, not unlike a scolded dog]
>>25238"I'll hear it, as long as there's no funny business," he says patting his partially bald tail. "Men, see that proper rooms are provided for the lot of them. Not the chintzy ones either, the ones reserved for proper guests." to Trump "You, take your time, but I wish to speak at
length with you."
>>25239Now I'M sad, Tracy did good! ._.
>>25235I Go and take a bath with few hot Guards.
>>25214Nevermind, forget I said anything. But uh,... "MOAR"
>>25243.. and will have no trouble choosing her preference, as many (most) are willing to offer, or rather "look enthusiastic".
>>25239Can I deflate the Cauchemar into a more manageable pony form?
"And I wish to speak at length with you. I'm quite curious to see what the dinner is like here, actually"
>>25246Tracy wasn't full Cauchemar, she was flaming Warhorse at the moment, but yes you can likely calm her
especially if you insist she remain at your side,... just sayin'
>>25242>Did goodIf she killed the squirrel, who the hell would I negotiate with?