Read "Corny Nuts"
Which brings us into the next edition of the Game thread! For newcomers, this is an RP thread thats been ongoing for,... shit, 3 months now. How time flies.
Anywhow, its based on a very loose and permissive rendition of classic D&D 3.5 edition as a baseline, and includes whatever additions can be effectively (and not too ludicrously) included; basically whatever players want that also makes some sense.
The party has just made some character and story developments. Trump and Tracy discover that when their powers combine they form Captain Planet,... or rather, Tracy gets uber-sized and most ferocious.
Infernius and Thez have successfully tracked down and captured a Dark Elf who had been masquerading as the proprietor of the Bazaar (there is no proprietor) who were responsible for jacking all their shit.
What happens next? I have some idea, which probably means its not going to go anywhere near how I expect.
958 replies and 53 files omitted.
>>25385I'll have Tracy scrape their crud off of the cave floor when she gets the chance...
>This thing was at the top of the page when I google searched the phrase "baby tarrasque". >>25391Tracy went crazy and moved two giant eggs into the stables, so it's more crowded than it used to be
>>25393At least wait until Trollestia is sitting on them or around
>>25392"Uh"
He wiggles uncofortably
"Help" he says to no on inparticler, considering no one is around
Can I get a TLDR of what the ever living hell I missed?
>>25395Mom hormones
>>25401Oh good heavens. It would've killed her to miss it.
>>25399Trumpaladin went on a wonderful date with Slovenia
Tracy discovered a bolshevik mining city
Inferius discovered a Tree orc city, and was beaten back
ALL of our gold was stolen by those damn elves
Tracy went out and took bird eggs on some crazy adventure
Trumpaladin formally made Tracy a mount and they fugged, so she has full cauchemar super powers now
Inferius tracked down and found a Drow elf, and captured it
Tracy managed to kill the elf during interrogation
Tracy and Inferius were attacked by spiders from the elf's suit
Trumpaladin went to Sparintenar to try to open a football franchise - that went horribly botched, but Tracy and Tay showed up, and now dealing is happening - that's where we ended
\r
[Read more] Btw, what's the party doing in Scarintintingalin' (idk how to spell it) right now? Where exactly is Tracy atm?
>>25400>Tracy feels a wobbling in the force, and suddenly feels anxious to get back to her eggs.>>25405Trollestia has the eggs, calm down
Is anyone else in the stables, Torc can't get out of this shit
>>25407No, but Thez and Inferius are fucking in the infirmary
>>25399So Thez went and killed a Roc to make Thanksgiving dinner, which inspired Tracy to run off and find the nest. In doing so she pissed off the Roc's mate who was alive and guarding the nest. Thez popped in and spoke to the Roc, bonked it on the nose, and sent it packing while Tracy got all preggo-hormonal about the eggs, so they were brought back to the stables. As feasting ensued, Thez informed Infernius that the Tower's treasury had been looted, don't tell Lenos. Infernius did his best at magical forensics, but didn't find out a whole lot. Trump acquired a few choice items from the bazaar, including a matching set of letter openers. Later on, Infernius decided to investigate in and around the Bazaar, only to determine that the bald guy from the Bazaar was actually one of the Dark Elves in question who 'may' have been responsible for robbing Ben AND the party. A chase ensued, but while Infernius and Thez captured the bald guy, his distraction and misdirection stalled long enough for the other elves to escape with all the loot. After a day or so of attempting to interrogate the elf, one Darkemter Vrees who Thez knows from a previous reboot, Darkie would have his head severed and welded to a filled iron bucket. His torso was hollowed out, and many parts of his leg have been severed, but in the process the tiny magical spiders that inhabit his armor nearly killed both Tracy and Infernius. His remains are now locked in the vault with
hopefully all the little bastards. The party has since ventured to Sparintenar, which is a spartan city run by a squirrel with a combat-helmet and a modified bazooka. After a tense exchange where Trump had to negotiate from a position of nescience (Thez was busy saving asses), Trump has established a favorable and negotiable position with the squirrel, while Taylor has made inroads for a successful singing career.
[Read more] >>25352So long as the Cloak is still worked-on every day, can it be worn as a +2 cloak, and then still be gradually increased into a better one?
>>25406I has to jump through arithmetic hoops to get her to trust Troll with them long enough for Tracy to answer the call. Tracy doesn't really like her...
>>25408That... is true
>>25407What's the trigger for that knife of his?
>>25410Can I get her to stay in Sparintinar long enough to be a trophy-waifu at the banquet and then fug in the hotel room?
>>25410Serious, dead serious, just place the eggs next to a fireplace or space heater
>>25413Is there room for a fireplace in the stables?
(Torc, pls halp so Trollestia can get off of them and help you out of those bindings)
>>25408Oh god I didn't need to know that
>>25411????
It grows, it doesn't move on its own
>>25410Yes. Also, fun fact. I was wrong about being unable to add magical effects to existing magical items, however with each plus (or plus equivalent) the item progressively increases in cost and therefore time. Turning a +1 sword into a +2 sword takes 6 days, but turning a +4 sword into a +5 sword takes 28 days.
>>25413Kek
>>25415No, but if there's a verbal trigger you could always say it and hope it doesn't kill you while cutting through the bandages
>>25416So, I can make my sword Vorpal?
>>25416HOW CAN I DO THIS TO VANDERIEM!
>>25414Well I need some pony to be with me as a show waifu
>>25418Vorpal: Caster level 18; Circle of Death; Keen edge(dur)
>>25419A Holy Sword can't be Vorpal, because vorpal weapons require unholy magic to craft. Sword of Sharpness is the best edge that a Holy Avenger can have.
>>25420Tracy could do some Perform/Diplomacy/Bluff checks. She can be presentable.
>>25421Tracy's faggot is the one who asked for Vorpal, not me. What enchantments can Vanderiem be given and how?
>>25422Scream and moan until Trollestia finally gets bored of laughing at your helpless state: she's been in the stables the whole time.
>>25423Kek, she's already made a favorable impression
>>25424Vandereim is an artifact weapon, and literally of such cost already that it would take,... over a year to modify with even the slightest effect (faerie fire, for example)
>>25426Sugoito on the other hand, aside from being a master-craft weapon, is magical only in materials, there are no enchantments or effects on it.
>>25428What is Vanderiem's strength? I only recall a two handed sword with +2 bonus against Infernals
>>25429Can Sugoito do more basic smashing damage? For example, against Roc shells
>>25430Vandereim (he knows all this, so he can readily tell you):
Keen (x2 crit threshold)
Sharpness (severs a limb on nat 20)
Mighty Cleaving (unlimited cleave on kill)
+5 reg/+7 vs ebil
Weightless (Feather Fall 3x/day on sword)
Detect Alignment @will
10 ranks in Intimidate
Stats: Wis 10, Int 14, Cha 14 - Ego 24
Absorbs alcohol; -2 atk +2 dmg when drunk, can spray vomit when drunk (flammable, can cause nausea)
>>25430>Roc shellsNo, for some strange reason it wouldn't work on that. "Ah canna' kill bebes lad!"
[Read more] Yeah, I know, forget I said it
>>25431Oh hell fucking yeah that's awesome!
I figured he had detect alignment
Remind me to get Vanderiem drunk
even if alcohol is degenerate Also, can Tracy, given time, engineer a hand-crossbow that works for her? Two of her classes are proficient in it, and longbow isn't really her style..
>>25435Not to be a dick, but you'll have to figure out - and I mean this literally - how she can manage to craft a hand crossbow that CAN be operated by hoof, but which will not go off at the wrong time. I mean, you could say 'take the trigger guard off', but I think we both know what is gonna happen if you do that.
>>25434... Wanna go find and genocide a Troll village in full Cauchemar form with me soon?
>>25436Build a giant trigger guard?
>>25439That's almost been our motto. It's certainly Tracy's
>>25409What do the rooms back in Sparintenar look like?
>>25437Sure. That sounds like fun.
>>25436... S can use gunz.. though. Maybe a trigger that pulls back?
>>25439It wouldn't be too difficult to craft "Horse Shoes of Speed," right? I think even Nordfilly could provide the enchantments?
Are we going to advance the campaign tonight? I want to know if I should reserve some time for it (could do cinematic now though).