/ub/ - Überhengst

Becoming better

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Welcome to /ub/ - Überhengst
German for "over stallion," and a reference to Nietzsche's "Übermensch," /üb/ - Überhengst is about bettering yourself physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. It is about self-improvement, constructive self-reflection, and seeking advice from others. You may discuss here those personal hobbies through which you develop your creative energies, and the efforts you take to improve your talents, artistic and otherwise. And of course, this is a board for fitness and literature, as they are parts of the backbone of physical and mental wellness. This is also a board where we may discuss Western culture - history, literature, architecture, and philosophy - as when imbibed, culture improves the mind and spirit, sharpening mental faculties, and providing a greater connection to those around you and to civilizations millennia old.

As this is a self-improvement board, discussions of personal problems should be constructive. No wallowing in self-pity. We are here to become better, and while seeking company in misery may be a helpful part of the process, the process does not end there.


Bible Study Thread
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IIT we discuss and study the Bible. I will be using the King James Version and will take the stance of a fundamental literalist, which is a bit redundant, but these days there exist many that claim to be fundamental but reject the literal interpretation of Scripture when they encounter something they don't agree or understand. I am not a Bible scholar, I'm not a pastor, I don't currently attend any denomination's church service. I'm just an anon that really like to study the Bible. Feel free to argue with me, I could be completely wrong and I hope to learn more about the Bible along the way.

I will post below my first study topic and what I have researched about it. Hopefully it will be interesting and somewhat engaging.
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Oh rly? Throw a Christian parade
Remember prayer. Pray always.

Republics are gay.
I agree. The meme is targeting the maga normies.

It's time
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When you see this thread, do five push ups.
if busy do ten later
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Remember frens, dubs = 20 pushups. C'mon
>dubs = 20 pushups
They got to him. Someone I haven't talked to in years contacted me today and he turned out to be a pozzed faggot brainwashed into hating gun rights and americans. faggot even said to be "guns equals fear" like he thinks that's a valid argument. What the fuck? His cowardice shouldn't take away anyone else's right to own firearms and defend themselves from evil. I'm going to take this rage and exercise with it.
Wtf is this blogposting shit in the pushup thread?
Five pushups say it's a bot. Cartoon horse vagina.
10 pushups say its a known poster with a particular flag

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Why live /mlpol/? the jews have total control. i don't want to live on this planet anymore. i'm tired,So tired.
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You are still alive.
Do you feel the rhythm inside you? It's there for you felt and unfelt.
Kill yourself. You’re pathetic
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Ignore him, he's jusy projecting his own failings onto anon
It’s true.
Thank you for your testimony Ms. Heard

Narcissism Thread
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Hey /üb/, how much do you know about Narcissism?
I'd like to direct your attention to Dr. Ramani Dursavula - clinical psychologist, professor at CSU LA, author, youtuber etc, and arguably the leading authority on Narcissism.
The problem with Narcissism as a clinical disorder is that it doesnt bear any of the classical signs of a disorder; the people who bear the symptoms of a narcissistic relationship are not the narcissist themselves, but the people around them. The problem is exacerbated by the fact that narcissists are over-represented in otherwise successful, prestigious, and competitive professions, fields, and careers, effectively calling into question the idea of dysfunction and disorder.
Narcissistic abuse is real, and it's a problem that is not getting any better by the cultural shifts brought about by mass media and technology. What's more, it isnt just the narcissist one has to be on the lookout for, there are plenty of people out their doing the bidding (they're called 'flying monkeys', ala the Wizard of Oz) of narcissists.
Arguably the worst trait of narcissists and those who work on their behalf is that of Gaslighting, which is the deliberate undermining of a person, their perspective/experience, reputation and standing, and other social interactions.
As an easy example, let's look at CNN. Let's assume for a moment that Brian Stelter, Rachel Maddow, Chris Quomo and Don Lemon arent malignant narcissists. I know, but bear with me.
It doesnt matter for those mentioned to not be narcissists if their job is to gaslight on behalf of Jeff Zucker. And what are some examples of gaslighting? Russian hackers, Quid pro quo, Epstein killed himself, Hunyer Biden, and of course muh Covid. A person can be gaslit hundreds or even thousands of times a day just by watching the TV, and that says nothing about their interpersonal interactions.
Let's look at things from a broader scope, and I'll throw out a few names. Mark Zuckerberg, Jack Dorsey, Er8c Schmidt. How many times has one or more of their companies abused one or more individuals on their platform, and has publically denied it even in the face of evidence?
The purpose of this thread is to provide examples of narcissism as well as resources and information that can enable a gradually emerging /üb/erpony to better navigate the world and some of the more nefarious players they may come into contact with. To start things off, here are some good primer videos to broach the subject, by Dr Ramani. She has hundreds of videos ranging from 6-20+ depending on how deep she goes with each topic, all relating ultimately to Narcissism, abuse, awareness, and healing. As one who has lived with narcissistic abuse for years and am only now becoming better able to identify/detect and mitigate the presence and practices of narcissists (most especially malignant ones), my hope is that the content is as informative and actionable to the viewer as I have found it.
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While openly advocating for the utility of therapy, not all counselors are created equal nor are all therapists specifically and directly... useful in recovery. Due diligence is still a thing, and one should interview a prospective therapist/counselor before opening up to them.
While there is a significant percent that have their client's best interests involved, the field of.mental health is also fraught with individuals who have distinct mental issues of their own. I dont necessarily mean dysfunction, but neither can it be ruled out.
"Why is your pain any more important than my pleasure?" -Marquis de Sade from whom the term 'sadism' was coined.
This video hilights the manner in which Camille Vasquez impeaches Amber Heard on the witness stand.
>Amber Heard vs. Johnny Depp
You knew I was going there, I knew I was going there, this whole trial and process has been a goldmine for narcissistic behavioral analysis. Yes, Heard was diagnosed Borderline/Hysterionic, but that only applies to her specific motivations for engaging in narcissistic behavior; the gaslighting, the absolute refusal to take any responsibility and deflect it on others, the ansolute adherence to depicting herself as being a particilar 'way' when literally depicting herself contrary, etc ad nauseum (literally).
But theres plenty of that sort of stuff ITT.
THIS video focuses on how to cut through the bullshit when dealing with such a narcissist, when you are fully aware and prepared for the narcissist's manipulations and strategies.
Ngl, I found it very validating, as it hilights tactics I have developed and used both on and off board to expose narcissistic intent, behavior, and method.
As hilighted, the first aspect is to know what the truth is, be direct about it, and not be distracted or diverted into arguing the narcissist's premise; they will say anything and everything to obfuscate the truth even when holding or looking at proof that they are lying.
The next aspect is to be very clear with your expression. Feigning incomprehension is another common tactic to try and weasel out of exposure, and when a person expresses this to very clear and precise language, it shows. It shows that either A. they're an idiot and can't comprehend precise specificity, or B. they're engaged in manipulation in an attempt to maintain their false public persona, by trying to distract from the specific phrasing or questioning.
Appreciate, one is never going to get any sort of admission from a Narcissist. Ever. This is why when unavoidably dealing with one, the person's objective can't be to reason with them; the objective is to get THEM to illustrate for the AUDIENCE who/what they are.
Outside of a courtroom, that's really hard to do without being smeared, defamed, etc., and presumably why the videographer advises avoiding such people/encounters at all cost; she's not wrong.
But for those unavoidable, inevitable, or 'something important is on the line' sorts of scenarios, Ms. Vasquez makes for an excellent primer on how to do it like a pro.
More useful takeaways from the JD/AH trial/fallout, focusing on the warning signs JD ignored, leading to the situation that has now unfolded publicly.
Never fuck crazy.
>Amber Heard
Yes, Heard is a walking shitshow. A perfect sample case, from which unexposed people can see what a narcissist is like. But, in the aftermath, I hope to keep constructive my comments and posts about. I doubt theres more to be gleaned beyond 'what to avoid' and all that. My next post is gonna be a review of Will/Jada/their kid (I forgey his name) and all the onvious signs of natcissism (hint, its all 3).

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ITT we share wisdoms that we have gleaned through our own experiences with our fellow Anons, that they might live a better life. I'll start:

NEVER ask a question unless you are %100 that you want to know the answer. Whatever happens, you literally asked for it, so you better be damn sure you really wanted to know. Remember this and it will help you with friends, family, lovers, and even children. Live your life by it.
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You gotta do the work



guys only have 4 ways out of depression.jpeg

0 note to self edit black speech to be more accurate to real deal.jpg
Should I get therapy?
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Is therapy just a joke, or is it worth getting? Who should I do therapy with? Can I trust my entire life's story with anyone who's not on this site?
Maybe if I tell you my life's story, you can give me life advice.

I was raised by abusive lefty parents who hated their smart white son and often tried to push me towards trannyism. Never fell for it.
First I was sent to a shit primary school. A few kids bullied me there and teachers punished me whenever I fought back. I was a fat angry kid who could punch hard when pushed, and they liked attacking me and then running away. But when we fought properly I'd kick their asses. One time I kicked their asses hard enough to make them stop bothering me.
When I graduated from this school I was sent to the special school of a catholic school, and made the personal property of one old bitch there who hated autistic kids. Around that era I got interested in Game Maker and pokemon romhacking but that interest never amounted to anything, though I did have a USB full of GBA roms and romhacking tools and the fact that I was able to code at such a young age when not all kids were learning that should have shown somebody that I had more to offer the world than shitty schools thought I should.
Thanks to that school, my schedule looked like this: Enter a side building, wait for the day to end, sometimes get insulted by the teachers if they felt like abusing me, usually get to eat lunch at lunchtime but sometimes they wouldn't let me (and it didn't matter whether I brought a packed lunch to school or brought money for the school cafeteria) and eventually go home to a house with parents that, when told the right words by my boomer bullies, would freak out and abuse me at home too. Rarely I'd get to join in a classroom... but class clowns would act up until I'd get blamed for it and sent out.
If I had a tape recorder or decent phone, I could have gathered evidence of the shit said/done to me (audio files of verbal abuse, pics of bruises, etc) and posted it online. But I was never allowed anything like that, because my parents feared I might use it on them. One day at school the art teacher bumped me with her car while backing up into a crowd of kids, I was fine but pissed off and the art teacher shrieked and blame-slinged feministically at me until I lost my patience and started barking back, then she put me in front of the headmaster and I told him about the abusive staff members and called him terrible at his job, so he kicked me out.
Then I was sent to a worthless "speshul" school where a few teachers abused me and the students usually watched in confusion when they weren't joining in. Whenever I trusted an adult enough to tell him or her what happened at home, that adult decided to call child protective services, who sent the same fucking boomer woman over to warn my parents that I was talking about what went on at home again. I couldn't get away from my family until I became the problem of Adult Protective Services, where the slightly less retarded and lazy people go.
A woman my age at the autistics-only youth club I attended got mad at me over retarded internet roleplaying nonsense-drama that didn't even involve me, and she lied about me to the cops and accused me of abusing her, even went to some clinic to fake signs of a concussion she didn't have because she's a spoilt bitch who knows how to play her rich parents like fiddles, she was a low-functioning sociopath woman with histrionic personality disorder and every retarded boomer's sympathy. She lied and got away with it, because the cops weren't interested in this case after she cartoonishly fucked up and started gloating about physically assaulting me without realizing it hurt her case. But even though I said to the managers of the youth club and the friends I knew there "If what she said about me was true I'd be in jail so you know she's lying" they couldn't believe me because they were dumb. There was one weird creepy fucker I used to talk to online because his "woe is me, asian school life is sooo hard" shit kind of reminded me of me at the time, but he got severe TDS and stopped being a person once he stopped viewing me as a person so I'm glad I didn't tell him anything sensitive or identifiable that could fuck me over later in life.
Anyway when I went to college, I was lied to and exploited by the staff until I dropped out. They even tricked me into taking a worthless course that turned out to be the dump where they dump the autistic kids and give them a useless fake newspaper to write. I wish I dropped out sooner, trying to live on barely fucking anything is hard enough when your mom took govt money meant for you, but it's harder when you're forced to spend most of your cash on train rides between your college and shitty home every two weeks and all your cunt government can offer is a discount pass. Now that I'm living alone, I've got a free bus pass I can barely use. Government priorities, am I right?

I am an autistic man, I'm 24 years old, I'll be 25 next year, and I've spent so much of my life as property of someone else that I find it hard to notice when I'm hungry or tired and remember that I should eat or sleep without someone or a phone alarm telling me to. I shower every night before bed but sometimes I miss meals, it's what helped me go from obese fatty to only-slightly-overweight. I don't think I know what it feels like to be loved by someone else. Learning makes me happy and I love documentaries but when I tried an online free learning site it reminded me of school and I couldn't do it. Sometimes I talk to people and act charming like those "Charisma on command" youtube vids told me so they'll like me, but I've never given anyone my full backstory before. The only woman in my life I ever kissed was that bitch who falsely accused me and got away with it. I want to say I have no interest in modern women but I still feel the urge to wank to them. But I don't wank any more because of nofap.
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Bet if I wrote about a robot-maker named "Dr Link" with a robot named "Adam" and a dog named "Terry", most readers would say "omg this is a Doctor Light from Mega Man and Link from Legend of Zelda and Terry Bogard from Smash reference! And the robot's literally Mega Man or the biblical Adam from The Simpsons! Also this is a reference to Will Smith movie I Robot or something by Issac Asimov, whoever that is!". No idea that I got this from Eando Binder's "I, Robot" after hearing about it in a youtube video essay.
Giving her space before inviting her to the maximum comf zone was a genius idea. I felt like I needed to rush in and be there for her in the moment even though I had no idea what to say. But this works too. I made an adorable pillow and blanket fort for her atop our bed and put away all the clocks and turned off the alarms, leaving our phones outside. No distractions. No annoying noises from her phone.

Fuck her phone.

Holy fucking shit her phone noises are annoying. Practically anti-ASMR. Does that already exist? Obnoxious sounds to hurt the ear and soul? Probably exists. Probably has its fans.

I think I could write a good romance story now, because I get it. Romance and people are still confusing. But this woman is fundamentally good so she doesn't hate me for months if I misunderstand things. As a teen I fantasized about the sort of person I might end up with and the sort of things we might do, but those fantasies were just the fantasies of a horny isolated depressed raped person doing his best. It's hard to describe how fantasies slip away when you encounter someone real and care about her in ways you never thought you could. I don't want to do anything perverse with her because fuck perversion. I remember being terrified I would be unable to love anyone. Terrified flashbacks of my parents sexually abusing me would get in the way of my capacity to fuck. I want to reclaim all of my sexuality and draw my OC with his cock out, nude and unashamed. But I don't want people to think I'm a pervert. And I don't want people flooding inappropriate places with that image. What should I do?
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You got a Girlfriend?
I have had multiple girlfriends in my lifetime. Though some of them... I wish I never met because they turned out to be awful people, like the one who tried to have me arrested over her own imaginary Naruto bullshit. That's not a normal thing normal people do, she was evil. One relationship I had with a woman fell apart because at the time I was an ugly fat poor person and a more attractive rich man expressed interest in her so she leapt into his arms and rationalized this by deciding she suddenly hated me for not being as cool as him. Understandable, it was a self-interested thing for her to do but self-interest is understandable, I stopped talking to her after that because she showed me what kind of person she was and after that sort of thing you can't really go back to idolizing a girl and hoping for the best while ignoring the bad stuff.

And there was another girl who seemed good at first but she got corrupted by feminism. Guess being a spoiled bitch overwhelmed with undeserved opportunities only to fail anyway due to personal laziness hurts less if you tell yourself The Man's somehow keeping you down and cursing you with problems you tell yourself are unrelated to your literal fatherlessness and narcissistic mother's rich bitch karen-took-the-kids all-about-me style of parenting, I guess. I remember thinking I had to sound hornier to keep up with her after the bizarre shit she'd say to me. She'd seen enough girl media to be infatuated with the idea of being creative and I was retarded and optimistic enough to overlook all the red flags and give her emotional support on demand, even proof-read her scripts not that she ever listened to my suggested fixes, but when it came time to actually work she flaked or retreated to fantasy-land or searched for others to work for her, and suggesting criticism like "You spelled this wrong" or "What you're making this character do will ruin everyone's ability to like her unless you say some villain's mind control made it happen at the last second" or "Maybe considering the target audience of kids today or teenagers who grew up with this show for kids about superpowered toddlers it's really, really not a good idea to fill this with edge and drugs and sex where the PPG are teens.

I mean within the first few pages you're making Bubbles an underage drug addict who fucks strangers at raves and you're making Buttercup responsible for the deaths of countless people with a scene where she accidentally nukes a city via a superpower she gets from nowhere while fighting a monster, plus all the stuff with HIM fucking with the girls doesn't really work as tests of character or moral fables for kids about the dangers of internet usage, plus none of this is child friendly and I don't think Cartoon Network would ever hire you to put this on TV, and I don't think the fans of PPG who grew up with this show would want to see their favourite characters like this even though the gang gets together by the end and pretends none of this bad stuff ever happened" would get her to loathe you until she felt the need for emotional validation. I know I'm not the god of writing. I know I have no power over what she chooses to write about. And I'm fine with that. I know I'm a take charge kind of guy but I'm not a control freak like my mother. I'm fine with not being in control. Just ask my girl, heh heh sex joke. But seriously, what was the point of asking me for writing feedback if she didn't want me to say "This is a good first draft but please consider revising these aspects"? It's not like I was trying to rewrite her work into something fundamentally different, I stayed true to what she wanted while suggesting ways to not be creepy about it.
I recall a needlessly edgy plotline where HIM mindfucks one PPG (The blue girly one, I think?) with illusion magic, which makes her misread texts and think her sisters are saying "nobody likes you and you should kill yourself now" when they're not, and this makes the girl depressed for a while but then eventually she talks to her sisters and is okay, and somehow this is supposed to be a story about the dangers of technology and phones and texting. Well... "Kids, don't get illusion spells used on you by a demon, but if you do get a malevolent force of ancient absolute evil targeting you, talk to people instead of trusting your lying eyes" is a weird moral. It's not as if the texts were open to interpretation and it was her own problems that caused her to read them incorrectly and hate good people until they reach out to her and fix the breakdown in communication by talking to her. The episode doesn't work as a moral about the importance of communicating well or trusting people because everything bad that happens is due to external forces being evil for no reason or because the external forces are jealous of "femininity's calmness and rationality and superiority" just like every afactual feminine fantasy ever. Although these days afactual and feminine are practically synonyms. Only in this case the external source of evil corrupting the lives of and world of the females for no apparent reason is a disturbing crossdressing satanic fetish demon, complete with edgy redesign. I forget if it was his new look for the comic she never made or a Super Form he had. I recall "having an idea" that was really just a ripoff of that TMNT cartoon episode where Mikey's tricked into meeting alone with an adult he met online but it turns out to be a trap, and the moral is "Don't trust celebrities and don't meet up IRL with internet people", all I really did was add in some other kid-friendly moral lesson I've forgotten about, but when I suggested the idea to her she hated the idea because it wasn't hers. Her immature takes on mature topics were more immature than Ken Penders's Sonic comics, at least that hack thought he was doing kids a favour by telling kids drugs are bad. The cuck also thought making Vector talk like a black person "for diversity" was good. He was a clown who thought putting sex and other mature shit into his kiddy comic made it more mature, when really it just made it far less enjoyable than the child-friendly hedgehog melodrama Sonic was at the time. And there was that story arc she wanted to do with the Rowdyruff Boys where she turns them into horny eboy boyband perverts who rape and do drugs, and her reasoning for this was "when people get older men are in control of relationships". Even when I was a bluepilled cuck retard who knew nothing of politics that statement seemed wrong to me. But all of this feels wrong. I'm only able to open up to anyone about this because we're all anonymous here and nobody can ever figure out who any of us are. The idea of making these little boys into rapists for the sake of some subconscious recurring theme where femininity's always superior unless it's corrupted by outside forces and everything other than childish innocence is sex-soaked degeneracy... It was all fucking weird. It felt WORSE than what the PPG 2016 reboot did. Worse than that stupid episode with the self-insert curly-haired jew who made himself a big buff guy for the redheaded PPG to lust over. Hypocritically, she hated the horny perversion of this poorly thought out adult remake, even though she wanted to make something worse. Then there was the Transformers comic she wanted to make where she's the main character, a Sailor Moon-esque princess with super-powerful Energon blood her evil scientist father who sounds like a rapist and wants to suck her blood and take away all that makes her special. Starscream kills Megatron and becomes the final villain obsessed with her blood and raping her too because he's evil and horny, and he crossdresses because she's a woman who doesn't realize she has a fetish for being molested by powerful and fetishistically feminine men. Oh and the Autobots and Decepticons sort of exist I guess, sometimes fighting and rarely being the focus unless they're being homosexual with one another. Oh and the Autobots entirely rely on her to be their moral compass. Yeah, Optimus Prime, the giant robot truck man who's hundreds of years old, maybe thousands, I forget, but he's relying on this teenage girl to reignite his faith in humanity and teach him and every other autobot what it means to be a good person. Oh wait, that wasn't a Transformers webcomic she wanted to make eventually, that was a transformers cartoon she wanted to have created for her and put on the airwaves. This fanfictiony idea was "too good" for webcomics, it somehow deserved to be on TV.

In the way that Little Timmy fantasizes about "being hired by Sega" and getting a private jet ride to a japanese office where he's given an infinite budget and no accountability or pressure or deadlines and hundreds of workers to order around as he sees fit until his dream Sonic game is finally crafted for him, and the world loves it because it's his fantasy, she kept this childish fantasy of being hired by Cartoon Network and used it in place of reality. She really thought, one day, people would make these for her and then she would finally be a real creative.

At the time I didn't understand why she got so pissed at me when I said something like "This reminds me of Generator Rex and Sailor Moon and Nobunagun and Mew Mew Power and Ben 10 and Gurren Lagann and Madoka Magica and Code Geass and Naruto, you should watch those so you can see how those shows handled these ideas" but looking back, I think she got angry because she thought I was devaluing her ideas by detecting her inspirations or suggesting that her ideas could be improved instead of doing what she wanted: heaping praise onto her no matter the end result.

That girl... I don't think she loved me. Or anyone alive other than herself. It's hard to describe this but it seems she liked the "ideas" of things and got upset when they turned out to be different from the vague versions of them that existed inside her mind, whether she was getting mad over a person dropping a truth-bomb instead of offering up another steaming dose of reassurance and emotional validation or getting mad that organizing the creation of something she didn't really want to make had to be so "complicated". She expected life to be a power fantasy and found her recruit-difficulty unfulfilling life exhausting because it wasn't quite as easy as she wanted it to be. I didn't feel loved when I was with her, or listened to. She knew how to overdramatize her feelings and make them everyone else's problem and guilt-trip people and cry, but she seemed confused if this didn't magically solve her problems. Wouldn't surprise me if her limited social interaction outside of her mother caused her to think her mother's immaturity is something to emulate There was one woman who led me on for years with the "You're my emotional support person, I need you, you're the only person giving me a reason to get out of bed" talk I was retarded for falling for. If I was a loser I'd say "I'm blameless and she's pure evil" but in truth she was just a selfish person getting what she wanted out of dumb people, and I was a dumb person who loved being told he was doing the right thing by being tissue paper for her and having less backbone than tissue paper. I used to be a fucking loser, that's why she was able to play me. I didn't have enough willingness to say no or say she was treating me unfairly. She surrounded herself with male simps but usually tried to keep them separate (but she was dumb so she slipped up sometimes. She once invited me to a discord group chat she'd set up for her own personal validation on demand, just one girl and many guys, forgetting she'd played the "I have mental problems and you're my only living friend who keeps me sane and everyone else is the worst" card with me for a long time, the guys she manipulated had tragic stories and funny stories about shit she supposedly said or did but I'll never know which were true). At least those hoes didn't slander me or try to get me arrested over her own retarded fantasies, like the demon-fetish narutard girl.

But my girl right now seems like a good person right now. I've been hurt often and I think that's why I tend to expect people to hurt me and suddenly turn evil out of nowhere. Or at least turn neutral and callously self-interested instead of good. I don't want to assume people are evil and I hate that I've come to expect it after being exposed to so much evil. But my girl seems like a good person. I think this is what a good woman is. I wish there was one brilliant woman in my past who showed me what a good woman is, and gave me a yardstick for this sort of thing. But I think this woman is a good person. Also I'm pleased to announce I will be releasing videos of my game soon.
I don't know what the point of the mask is. But I am taking it off.
The truth is it does not bug me that whatshername's comic ideas fucking sucked when I knew her. I also sucked at stuff when I knew her. We weren't experienced pros in the industry. Talking about what I didn't like about her comics distracted me from her and helped me cope with the regret. I felt lonely when I talked to her. Lonely and not listened to. She wasn't consistently unfair to me when it came to communicating and what she expected from me vs what I could expect from her. But she was often and I dom't think she ever realized. I'm not good at relationships or communication. I shouldn't blame myself for how she chose to be but maybe if I had grown a pair by the time I met her she would have respected my ideas instead of exclusively wanting me to be a fanboy. Or maybe having balls would have just pushed her away faster. She would ask me for input when she really wanted praise, and she would get mad at me if I didn't praise her enough or seemed fake when praising her or offered advice she didn't like hearing. I think the reason I said "plz watch this show like what you want to make" so often was... I wanted her to expand her horizons, read more than one book, rip off different things for a change. I wanted to think about what these shows did to flesh out their characters and pit them against meaningful challenges and not just make their protag a one note girl who's only special because of external factors like superpowers and blood. There were these other ideas she had for original things, but she preferred the circlejerk of nostalgia to anything new and challenging. Felt like she saw people primarily as the service or resource they provided but she felt little urge to seek out useful people, she felt eventually she would conveniently run into a complete set of all the men who could serve her and do all the work making her shows for her, but until then she collected people and talked more with those she thought she could get more out of. Sometimes had us talk and told us to plan out the process of making her show... as if a handful of guys she strung along and me could do that alone without money. I wish I was charismatic and convincing so I could help her see the potential in her ideas that weren't shoving degeneracy into kids media for the sake of seeming mature and edgy. I had shit taste back then. Maybe if I had better taste I could have shown her better shows and they would have helped her. I haven't talked to her for a long time. I hope she is doing okay but checking her social media accounts would be cringe. I know how she was raised isn't my fault. But if I wasn't retarded I would know what to say to help her. She wanted attention but didn't respect me enough to think I was anything. Did I ever matter to her? Maybe if I was cooler she would value what I said. Maybe if I knew more about writing I could have offered better help. In videogames it's so fucking easy to fix people's mental problems. You just talk to them long enough and pick the obviously right options and they get better. I thought I was saying the right things with her but our conversations never seemed to go anywhere that resulted in a meaningful positive change for either of us. No matter how hard I tried with what she seemed to want whether it was advice put nicely or praise or a retarded speech about doing your best and never giving up it never resulted in any positive change. I wanted to be a positive influence on her. But she'd be the same whiny wreck tomorrow crying on my shoulder because she's a grownup now and so sometimes she has to clean her room and change her clothes and do coursework on time and make sure she doesn't waste all her money on shopping for plastic shit only to be left with no money for the next shopping session and sometimes mommy seems quietly disappointed in her child but she's incurably female so she is unwilling to ask what she can do to try and turn her daughters life around for the better. The other artist woman I knew at the time treated me better. She never blew up on me or ghosted me for giving writing advice she asked for. She was a good person.

Nofap tips
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I'm coming to my wits end with this shit. I'm getting tired of feeling drained and passionless towards what I used to love. I want to write again. I want to enjoy playing games again. I want to wake up and not feel like I got to fap first just to get out of bed. I want to feel something other then nothing.

The thing is when I try I always fall right back in. I've made it three days and I saw some cleavage and suddenly got horny I thought I would collapse. I left and had to drive home but the urge would go away! I couldn't fight it and I felt so disgusted with myself. The moment I got home, I had to jerk it.

How do you guys deal with these urges? How do I get a life back?
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How does that Vaush faggot still have a career?
Edgy teens with mommy and daddy issues.

That is the reason why I only masturbate to animated ponies.
medium (6).jpeg
Based and pony pilled!

Cook your food
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One problem plaguing a lot of people these days, especially burgers like myself, is that many people eat out at restaurants too much instead of preparing home cooked meals. Eating out is frequently both more expensive and less healthy for you than a home cooked meal. Furthermore, many people live with a limited library of meals that they know how to prepare and don't realize the culinary possibilities that are right in front of them.

The purpose of this thread is to try to break that habit of eating out and to make cooking at home become the norm in our lives. Please share meal ideas and how to prepare them here. All meals are welcome, although preferably we should post meals that are easy to prepare so that novice cooks will not be intimidated by the prospect of preparing them for themselves. Even simple sandwiches are fair game. Sometimes that may mean cutting corners with pre-made mixes instead of preparing everything from scratch.

Remember that the goal isn't necessarily to post the most inexpensive meals or the healthiest meals, although those meals are certainly very welcome. The goal is to encourage people to dust off their kitchen appliances and flex their atrophied cooking muscles. I realize that this opens the door to culinary nightmares like /tg/'s infamous meat-bread, but so be it. Let's get cooking!
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File (hide): D9358CB8B6811453664C9648E5B1C868-11572604.mp4 (11.0 MB, Resolution:1920x1080 Length:00:00:30, salt + time = magic.mp4) [play once] [loop]
salt + time = magic.mp4
Cured meats for many meaty needs.
Sous Vide is the shit
You read that correctly.
About 6 mos ago I got an Anova Sous Vide circulator (~200) and Ive been experimenting with it extensively ever since.
Imo, it is a must-have, especially for college students who dont have immediate access to a stovetop. Not even kidding, one of these along with a table-top electric burner and a microwave air-fryer is a pretty solid and all-purpose basic setup.
The beauty of Sous Vide - if u havent watched a bunch of youtube videos about it - is that you CANT overcook your meat. It IS possible to cook it for a duration that causes the flavor and texture to be negatively affected, but you have to leave it in for like 2x the necessary cook time.
Ex, I just put in a pork shoulder roast to cook for ~11 hours. At ~22 hours is when the meat will start to degrade,... meaning as long as I dont forget about it for an extra 11 hours, itll be fine (oh no, I have to remember to finish dinner before 11pm). The biggest issue with sous vide is also one of its strengths; since its a long low and slow, as long as you get your timing right on when the food starts (and the thing has programmable delay timers and shit) its not a process that requires monitoring, and if you top the resevior off you shouldnt need to replace any evaporated water. The length of time is really the only 'downside', and its minimal with a little bit of planning.
And for something you WONT hear anywhere else:
as a patrician aficionado with a taste for Blue Rare beef, sous vide is even BETTER. Because of the temperature control and slow heating, it is IDEAL for getting the PERFECT blue rare outta your meat! Use only whole, fresh cuts for safety and be sure to dry brine (cover with salt in the fridge for a day or two) and sear the outside, but you can heat the inside to a precise 125 throughout, giving you that glorious almost-purple flesh that only truest carnivores know. Seriously though, the more you cook meat, the more you render protein insoluble. Youll never know how nutrient dense and energizing a minimally cooked steak is until you try it. Recommended that you slice super thin (<1/2"), and pair it with some horseradish cream, or some bearnaise.
>How To Make Italian Neapolitan Pizza With A Home Oven [Recipe + Tutorial]
Page with plenty of pictures and videos, too long to fully screenshot.
Can confirm.
Sues Vide Turkey, actually use it all the time for all the things.
Speaking of Pizza an Ohio style pizza with extremely mild provolone (fresh or cooked or both) is excellent. I'd recommend mixing cheeses, but provolone somehow works extra ordinarily well.
You prolly know about blts. Im gonna give u my tips.
1. Avocado, or avocado sauce (>pic related)
One, the other, or both. Include.
2. Bacon, oven cooked, 400° for 20 minutes
3. Tomato, ~3/8" slices. Avo sauce or lemon pepper, non-negotiable.
4. Lettuce, 2-3 fresh layers (nothing wilted)
5. Cheese (optional); something with punch, a stronger flavor. Avoid american, swiss, muenster, etc. Blue cheese, xtra sharp cheddar, et al advised in balanced quantities.
6. Habajero aoli on the inside of one or both breads, depending on individual tolerance (ghost pepper aoli recommended)
7. Bread; fresh baked pullman loaf, whether brioche, regular, or sourdough.
Cilantro Avocado Lime sauce
This stuff is next level. I keep putting it on different shit, and it continues to perform. Srsly, this is a game changing sauce.
For smaller batches, recommeded 2 bunches of cilantro to 1 bunch scallion and chives. Also, substitute habaneros for jalapenos. Its only hotter if u keep the flesh in, dont be a baby.

Mental Health, the whitepill, and hope
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This is a thread for us to find hope and give hope but also provide tips on how to relieve ourselves of all the pain we suffer.

My entire life, so far, has been nothing but pain pain pain. This is not an embellishment and I'm on my last rope here. I can't take it anymore.

People like us are always demonized by the media. Many of us hide who we are, our opinions, among the normals around us, which can make us alienated and make it harder for us to engage with them.

If one, like me, fails in their ambitions and can't keep their room clean, has very few friends and isn't in a relationship nor have lost their virginity, then that compounds on one's self-esteem.

We need to talk about our mental health. How to create an enviroment in our lives that facilitates good mental health. Like, I follow Jp's advice on the clean your room thing right now, even though he seems like controlled op from what I can remember, he is right about that making sure that's fixed is good for you. I feel that it's draining to constantly feel ashamed about such a thing, like I do. I can usually start cleaning but I rarely finish all the way, which causes the feeling of a dirty room not to go away. That's why I decied to finish this time.

But other then tips on how to improve one's mental health that might apply to everyone in society since everyone is suffering by insanity of this world. I also want us to look for more specific ways to deal with the prospect of white genocide or rather a future where whites are minorities in their own countries. I want us to find positives and use them to move forward and handle negatives in a constructive manner.

None of us is here because you don't seek a solution to solve this problem. If you legitimately thought there was nothing to do about this situation, then wouldn't you stop engaging in things that tries to stop it? What's the point of suffering here for no purpose? I believe we all gather here because we want to fight this situation, even if in our minds we think it's hopeless, because for some reason we have resolved ourself to do it. Why? I assume that one some level we have some hope for something. But maybe, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, the positives. I want us to find the whitepills and look on the bright side of life, to stride forward. There are so many regrets in my mind and they burn me up inside. I don't know how to deal with the past more than trying to put it behind me or saying that, "Now things will be different." However, it has never become different after that point. Point is, it's stressful to dwell on the past and since you can't change any of it the best one can do is to learn from it and probably forgive oneself for it and be proud of the good things one did and remember the good times. This comes from the person that is imprisoned by their past and can't move, btw.

Sorry, for the blogposting and while I'm not suicidal, I can't help but to feel more tired than ever before (I also feel that I can use myself as an example for the importance of the thread or something). If there's a limit to how many times I can pick myself up and then get knocked down, then I'm feeling like I'm close to converging with that right now. I don't know how long I can continue to take this anymore. I kinda need to change now.

I didn't really know which board this thread belongs to. It's like a improvement thread for /ub/ but at the same time it's a whitepill thread. Mods, feel free to move it wherever you think it fits best.

I'll return to post here when my room is cleaned to say that I done it if I don't fall asleep first, then I post it tomorrow. Maybe I'll even update on my daily progress on things in the future. Maybe that's a good plan. We'll see.

I had to pick a picture so I picked this one for Op but to be honest, don't feel that humorous about my any of this right now. I guess, I don't wanna just crack jokes about it, unless that is helpful in someway, and actually figure out how to solve it.
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I didn't read the spoiler for that reason, btw.
Good, the spoiler spoils the game endings.
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Op here. feel better these days mlpol.

I climbed out of the hole I made for myself back when I wrote the op and just continued with renewed hope about the future last time —a strategy that I usually use to deal with my depression when it gets too bad— but lately I feel better about myself due to some new insight that I have realized.

I won't going in too much on it. I'm still always tired, as you are when you're depressed, so that's why I won't post more than that and why it's been hard for me to reply to the helpful advice I got. I didn't know about the fact that depression lead to fatigue before but that description, that I learnt about, fit me so well that I accepted it as true.

The insight is that I come to reject the modern world's definition of success. I'm sure I can get a gf, even if things won't be perfect Well, I don't know how much I genuinely think this and how much is me trying to convince myself about that, however, I do feel hopeful about the future., I still think it will work out. I'm here because I'm a good person and have great taste in media and in understandings in politics. I can find value in these things even if the rest of society finds them meaningless. I try to live life in the present, not that I try to suppress thoughts about the future or past out of fear or regret or anything (maybe sometimes), I try to be in peace, to be calm, and to be content with just life in itself. I want my passion for the work to push me forward not the need (I feel) for it to be done.
Good to hear you're feeling better, OP.
>The insight is that I come to reject the modern world's definition of success.
This is key when we live in a dystopian society. Disregard normalcy, embrace horse pussy.
One thing I forgot to mention is that taking vitamins and supplements can also help if your diet is out of whack. You can probably get lithium orotate over the counter. It might help with your fatigue.
You seem to be on the right track. Have a blessed day, poner.
That's good to know. While looking it up I found this.

Basically saying a large amount of flavanoids is over all good for you and helps in multiple ways. It influences neural plasticity.
Coco, spinach, tomatoes, peppers, sweet potatoes, ect.
I don't know anon, (im not op, of course, in fact i just jumped into this thread) i just sort of learnt to live with the desire to die.
Sure i can be contempt at times, but honestly, my life has been a series of very unfortunate events, only reason i still live is because i just wanna see what happens, I'm not about to quit it but I'm not too happy with how things turn out.

I actually tried some extreme methods, i went to Africa, even to Syria (and even posted here one or two times a year and three years ago when i was there) seeking either a way to fix my life making money as a hired gun or just dying, and guess what, here i am again in my home country and life has not really changed that much for the better.

The world is very unfair and annoying and honestly after seeing how stupid the average person is, i think there is no real way to change it without hitting the reset button, going back to villages and rebuilding everything from there with our actual knowledge on how things work.
The world is absurd, but I'm not laughing anymore, I'm just nodding and giving it a gentle smile before resuming my day whenever it tries to jest.

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