/ub/ - Überhengst

Almost ready to blend

Decided to pan roast a clove of smashed elephant garlic. Now to blend the shit

>>7983
Nice ^^

But what if u want to make dinner for a vamp-pony? Can u make a substitute recipe?

>>7984
>Can u make a substitute recipe?
Yes

Notes, if anyone cares or is following along.
I only had about 1 tablespoon of tomato paste, so I supplemented with Gochu Jiang paste. Great stuff.
Forgot the wine, will use to rehydrate the braise in an hour or so.

Almost done

>>7988
Nom nom^^

Were they tasty?

>>7 →Of course! Though, aside from a nibble of some of the fattier undesirable parts, they havent been eaten yet.
The function of making it was to test (without a control, regrettably) the results of the short rib seared on a smoker contrasted with recalled experience seared on a stove. The results were more or less conclusive regarding the flavor (overall a benefit, but consideration of flavor balances becomes increasingly important), but the real test will be the grilled cheese sandwiches tomorrow
<We as picklin' an sheit tahdee

>>7993
Something borked, was reply to >>7991

Results of the short ribs were as follows:
Using a smoker to sear the short ribs does produce a greater depth of flavor in the ribs, though the surface was a bit more dry/hard than with a pan-sear, even after braising.
Roasting/blending the mire poix (versus dicing and browning in a pan) worked REALLY well, though the resulting sauce was a bit too strong so I opted to cut it with heavy cream instead of butter to finish.

We smokin a 3lb beef shoulder today!
We're going without pepper in the rub cuz Statue ran off with the ground pepper. Dry-brined for 24 hours then coated with all-purpose BBQ, we gon'find out cuz we fuckin' around

>>8043
That does look yummy.

>>8044
Bleh, thats just an hour in. Shes at ~175 so Ima drop from 290 to 225 soon for the overnite

She dont look purty, but shes dressed enough to slang that ass.
Putting on 225 for the duration (I usually wake at 5)

Goddammit

Smoke-rendering lard today! I started it off at ~250 to get the pan/process going, and then immediately dropped to minimum (180)
sidenote, I can testify that aliminum foil blocks certain types of energy cuz I couldnt find it cuz it had foil and didnt look how I was thinking it would. Thats the same thing, right?
In spite of semi-permissive seed-oil comments, there is no contest that the best oils tend to come from flesh, and where flavor is involved I argue that smoked lard reigns supreme. I'll be adding a 10lb pork butt alongside, shortly but for now im letting this go

K so the lard is up to temp, gonna set it to 'simmer at about 275 while I add the cold dry-brined pork.
I was just gonna do a basic pepper coat over the dry brine, but at the last second decided to add a smol dusting of garlic and onion powders, after giving a 1" diamond cross-hatch on the fat cap (down, to start with)

So from 3 lbs of fat trimmings, (at $2/lb) I get a little over 2 cups liquid smoked lard. That shit - aside from the obvious - is GOLD

(Theres a reason saved bacon fat is amazing, its cuz its fundamentally smoked lard)

Also, while Ive never rendered lard by smoke before, I do encourage smushibg the fat globules with a fork, as though like mashed potatoes

A couple hours in, the probe is showing 130 internal, so time to put it in a crutch and turn it down to ~240 for a long minite

5 hours later, reading 180 internal, kicking it up to 330 until it hits around 205

Ended up shutting her down around 2:30a (so total cook time pf ~12 hours), probing at 205 at the thickest (she thicc).

Hheres something I havent ever seen someone on the internet say or do.
Lots of people have all sorts of fancy/involved resting methods. Some people use the oven, some people wrap their meat in a towrl and put it in a cooler.

Hey, I've got an idea. In fairness, this idea is predicated on the idea that one's smoker, grill, barbecue, or whatever is
A. 1/8" steel
B. Was just a minute ago heated to 350 degrees, is now no longer hearing, has been vented, and will be radiating heat for a few hours yet

Yeah, justeave the fukkin thing on the grill. Its wrapped in foil isn't it? The whole point of the prolonged rest is to increase tenderness and shit by slowing the temperature decrease. Well, I shut it off 2 hours ago and its still probing at 185. Obviously, thats going to go paraboloc in ots temperature decrease, but you're still looking at a 4+ hour rest, which is what alot of pros recommend

And to close out this absolute touchdown pf a pork butt.

~10lb(pre cook) pork butt (~$20)
3 lb pork fat ($6)
Smoke pellets ($10 worth)

I'm not gonna try to calculate the price of the salt, pepper, onion, garlic powder.

So for $36 and a combined cook/rest time of 16 hours, produced approximately 40-50 servings of smoked pulled pork. Bbq sauce is ~$4, buns are $3 for 12,...

The point I'm getting at is that the end point price of an over-the-top pulled pork sandwich comes out to a cost of about $1.50. I'll snap a pic of one of the sandwiches in the afternoon, buuuuuuuuuuut
(I also pulled a little over 4 fluid cups of smoked lard,... plenty for carnitas ^_^)

>>8073
>pic #1
Impressive nigredo. Arcane alchemic knowledge at play here.

>>8074
Gambatte!
Addendum: it was 3 fl cups of lard and 1 fl cup of condensed bone/smoke broth, not 4 and 0. The smoke broth got mixed back into the meat for service. Just saying.
Still gonna be goddamn delicious

I should also say, theres extra sharp cheddar slices, theres crispyfried onions, theres candied jalapeno, theres... mayo I guess

Its a 6, the salt is too intense, needs compensation. Moar bbq sauce, or something else sweet, thinking honey

>>8079
This is a testament to how you can absolutrly nail every aspect. The fat is gummy and gelatinous, the meat is crumbly/spicy- coarse on the outside.

But the salt is a little heavy. Its plenty edible, butbthis COULD be an S rank. And its a B

(its kinda like raising chocobo)

Zomg, if you like delicious sauces that burn both ways, come check this one out. Its flavor is amazing, and the spiciness is really next level, even for this brand (I have several already). Highly recommended for spicelords

Smokin some chiggun fighs,... smokin some chiggun fighs

Final skin-crisp at 500 deg

Also. Chatgpt confirms, the "shut it off and let it rest in the heated metal" method is peak efficiency

Heres to all the faggots out there doing your thang today.
https://youtube.com/shorts/QXqUSEn4zlo?si=riNSu42GyrHS1zR1
Happy Thanksgiving!
<Remember 6 years ago when we cooked a WHOLE Roc in the forge?
<Eh, ye pruly fooked eet up

OMFG SMASHED BROCOLLI CHIPS. OMFG SMASHED BROCOLLI CHIPS.

Bruh. Smashed broccoli chips, try it.

>>8150
Looks bretty gud, they need more cheese though.

>>8151
Agreed, but for a tictok trend, this one has merit

>>8150
eew, broccoli, the most detestable vegetable of them all.

>>8153
I know, but its crispy n shit.
>>8153
Yes, but in the unterest of not-dying-scale, it could do worse

This evening I made some spicy beans-n-rice with chorizo. I browned a pound of chorizo with a chopped onion, a chopped bulb of garlic, and six chopped jalapenos, with a little salt and pepper. I added two cups of chicken stock and brought it to a boil and added a little can of tomato paste, whisked in. Then I looked over the shelves and poured in an assortment of canned sauces with labels in Spanish that were marked down at a local supermarket--salsa taquera, salsa de jalapeno, and I can't even remember what else. When all of this came to a boil I added a can of mixed vegetables, two cans of beans, two cups of water, and a cup of brown rice. I brought all of this back to a boil. Then I put it in the oven at 275 for an hour, to simmer it without scorching. It's nice and spicy, very piquant and savory. One of the sauces had a smoky chipotle flavor that went really well with the chorizo, and I think it may have been the one labeled "taquera." Most of the leftovers are now in the freezer, but I'll eat some more tomorrow. In retrospect I should have gotten some white button mushrooms and sliced them up to brown with the onions and peppers at the beginning. I should also have gotten some oyster crackers. 8/10, not the best thing I've ever made, but it was cheap and filling, and has protein.

We smoking short rib bitches!
And not just ordinary short ribs, nut coot-cowe-Ipetted-and-handfed tillmit died shirteib.

Its the good shit

>>8171
"But coot cowe, grain fjnished and grassfed" was what I meant to say. Touchscreens are ass and its gen y's fault btw

About an hour on, almost rdy to pull and braise :3

>>8173
That looks really nice

Alright, let's talk Christmas dinner.

Alton Brown has a technique for a prime rib that works really well: you unpackage the roast 4 days before cooking and let it sit for 2 days in the fridge, wrapped in cheese cloth, and then for the next 2 day you dry rub/brine.

But I have a brisket. So lets get fancy
The plan
- Comprehensive red wine and spice marination, 18 hrs
- S/low cook in marinade until 165
- Pat dry, binder with smoked lard, and season
- Texas crutch, onto the smoker for like 6 hours, basting with compound butter every 15-20 mins
- after internals at 205, baste with a creme bruglee-esque glaze/paste, and crisp with a blowtorch

Plan includes cloves in the fat cap during the butter basting stage, for extra extra (it works for ham)

The Marinade
1 bottle dry Merloy
1 roasted shallots
3 bulbs roasted garlic
2-3 sprigs fresh thyme
1 sprig fresh rosemary
1 small sprig fresh sage
½ cup fresh or cranberries
1 cinnamon stick
1 tbsp black peppercorns
1 tbsp kosher salt
1 tbsp honey
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar

>>8174
Fun fact about country livestock butchers versus city/production butchers. See that hazy membrane that looks like silverskin? Thats not silverskin. Conventional butchers trim that off and mix it in with their ground beef cuz it looks off.
That membrane turns into beef jelly. Its incredible. But they cut it off for the store cuz ppl don't know what it is. So sad.

>>8194
As a last-minute wild hair addition, decided to smoke roast a bell pepper and throw in a pinch of food-grade lavendar. Hush, If you're straining the solids, it doesnt matter.
>tfw the next step is waiting 15 hours

58 minutes until the marinade starts

Foggy cuz theres lard residue, but sealed at 1:01 am. Now, just gotta toss it a few times until 11pm

Yes, theres a peak timing to marinades: 18 hours

For the record, the broth/braise/etc is goddamn amazing...

Ever cook something, and as its going ur tasting sauces and whatnot, and you're like "Fuck me, this is one of the most amazing things Ive ever tasted, let alone made"?

>tfw Im only NOW being advised to call it "Mare"-inade
Bap

BRED INFO

Messing around in the kitchen and getting results out of it is fun. Here are some observations and notes from what I've picked up here and there.

>The more moist the dough, the better the bread, usually.
>Gluten for good structure develops over time.
>>That's how you can set up a very moist dough and just let it proof overnight without kneading, if you want easy bread dough.

>Start the bread dough with your measured liquid amount with sugar and yeast, then add flour gradually as you mix it up.

Other things to consider adding to bread:
-Oil or fat of some kind
-An Egg or two
--Egg yolk is like a big spoonful of butter as far as macronutrients, flavour and bread structure is concerned.
---Use the leftover egg white as your egg wash,
---Or add a touch of sugar and vanilla, beat it for several minutes until you get soft peaks, and bake these into a merange
----Many things are done cooking when you see it start to take on a golden brown colour. Don't let it get too dark, or it'll lose out.

>To get a great structure of buns, do the following with your dough:
>>Knead the dough for several minutes
>>Let it proof for 45m-1hr
>>Knead it again for a brief time to knock out the air and re-orient the gluten strands
>>Cut the dough into equal portions
>>Form these portions into dough balls, and place them on a baking tray.
>>Let them relax the gluten fibers and proof a little more
>>>At this stage, you'll easily be able to work these buns into some kind of stuffed breakfast bun

Recipe for a good bun filling:
>Scrambled eggs cooked to a velvety consistency.
>>Bias towards under-cooking them slightly. They'll still cook when you're baking the bun, don't worry
>>Add some crumbled cheese to the eggs
>>Salt and pepper
>Chopped onions
>>Cook them low and slow in some oil or butter on the stove with a pinch of salt while you're working on kneading the bread so that your time working is more rewarding and less boring. This is an extra step, but pre-cooking them gets much better flavour if you have the time.
>Chopped other vegetables, like red, green, or yellow peppers.
>>Pre-cook just like the onions if time permits
>>If using fast-cooking vegetables like the heads of broccoli, then do not pre-cook them, else they might end up overcooking.

Eggs first, then the veggies on top. When you make the buns, the veggies will release some more liquid and make steam. We want the steam and bubbling liquid to escape from the top. The oil and melted cheese from the soft cooked scrambled eggs will keep the texture of the inner filling of the buns moist enough.

Forming the dough balls into breakfast buns can be done a variety of ways, but I generally suggest you try to make the dough ball small enough that the whole thing, before cooking and before being pushed outwards to flatten it, can fit comfortably in the palm of your hand. They'll be about the size of a hamburger bun after cooking. The bigger the bun, usually the bigger the ratio of bread to filling.

Forming the buns can be a bit tricky. Accept the practice. You want to flatten the dough and put some water around the edges before trying to fold it up. You can just fold it over on the side like a pizza pocket, but remember that, depending on what you put inside of it, it might need some steam to escape.

>To make it a touch better, beat a single egg in a bowl and use a brush to slap the egg mixture on to the buns before baking them. It's not quite as good as cooking with steam (achievable through several tricks, but not something I consider really worth the effort due to inconvenience), but it adds a lot to the effect.
>>Reclaim the remaining unused egg wash by adding flour to it and forming a basic bread. Cook this small loaf with your various buns. There will almost certainly be many awkwardly shaped ones in your first few batches, and the wonderful effects of using pre-cooked fillings and cooking stuff that is inside of bread to help use the bread as a protective coating gives you a good window of "good enough" cooking

Make a big batch, and store them in freezer bags. They're great reheated in an air fryer from the fridge. My batch did not last long enough to make it to the freezer.

>Note: When baking in general, try to bake on parchment paper. It makes everything better. I'm not entirely sure how to articulate why.

>>8209
Parchment paper allows for a more even distribution of heat and evaporation of moisture than direct contact with a pan, causing better crust and more consistent browning

https://youtube.com/shorts/T2l7BZnmNEY?si=ajvbMRu8KpliGvjY
If you dont know

fuck it, i need to start eating better this year
and a great way to do that is by making my own meals, here at home
i shall post in this thread whenever i make anything i deem post worthy!

>>88
I Don't cook my own food but I just ate the best salad, I've ever had. it was a Chef's salad. Sadly there are no pics. its long gone.

>>8228
Ripe tomatoes, fresh mozzarella basil, olive oil, salt/pepper

Okay, I know the title/theme is "cook your food, but hold on a sec. If food safety standards are in place, you can have a less/not cooked steak; flame kissed (well seared) but otherwise raw in the middle.
Yes, raw. And it was delicious, with only a light dusting of allspice

https://youtube.com/shorts/7YDcea73QHc?si=35WhKmgZJlpzsxfg
Foreshadowing

Trying fermented pickles for my first time. Most store bought pickles are made with vinegar, and heated to kill [healthy] bacteria for a long shelf life.
Fermented pickles, in theory, cultures lactobacilli bacteria found in fresh food, and the bacteria's by-product creates lactic acid that is creates the pickle.
Apparently they can be over-pickled too, letting the bacteria work too long and the flavor becomes too strong or the pickles are too mushy. Also supposedly they get a better flavor if pickled at 60-65degrees, so winter/spring/fall in my area is a good time to do it.

I feel like this specific batch I added a little too much salt, but maybe not. Different places I look suggest a slightly different salt ratio. I'll get a pretty good idea in a week. They might be ready to take with me to harmonycon, which would be fun.

>>8251
God I could go for a good pickle right about now

>>8251
Based. I've been gearing toward a legit pickle experiment. Lactobascillus? anyway, good luck ^^

>>8251
I'm a dumbass and didn't say how much salt I added.
One place I looked at said to use 2% salt of the combined weight of cucumber and water, another said 3%. I used 2.5%.
In my case it was 8lbs of cucumber and water, 8*0.025=0.2lbs of salt. Or 3.2 ounces of salt.
I just used regular sodium chloride salt, they cost about $5 for a 25lb sack of it at Costco. I didn't see a reason to go all fancy with the salt, its just there to keep bacteria away. As long as its not iodized (iodine added) it should be fine™

Technically that is all that's needed, the stuff being pickled, salt, good filtered water, and something to ferment in. Everything else added is for extra flavors.
Most things I read stress about using special more expensive pickling salt or kosher salt and pickling spice mix and distilled water and special pickling cucumbers... bleh, I just want some pickles, sheesh.
They do make a good point that (some? most?) of the larger cucumbers are coated with a thin layer of wax. The wax messes with the pickling process. I assume they mean if the cucumber is pickled whole though, can't imagine it would hurt anything if they are cucumber slices like I did.

Anyway, that is some of the stuff I read and what I did. Figured I'd try it out and see what happens.

>>8254
This is also why I dont fuck with bread. Fucking percentages and ratios? If I cant adjust with a pinch of salt, sorry no

An interesting view on food.

The trick to getting 'fermentation' on ground beef is the lactobascillus. The easiest way is to get one of those fermented Leche drinks that mexicans love so much.

Let the meat soak, and then let it re-dry on a cooling rack. It will be fine, it only takes 2-3 days, not near enough for the meat to spoil

>>88
Something I did, a neighbor has a bunch of prickly pear cactus on his front lawn and they were all fruiting. I asked him and he let me pick em and I used them for Kompot and Prickly Pear jelly. It was so good, honestly the two are super easy to make with most fruits and I highly recommend it sometime!

Oh something else for everyone that can help with your onions and giving you a growable harvest of em in the future.

If you get grocery store onions and youre gonna cook them, only use the bottom 3/4ths of it and make sure you leave the last 1/4th have the little bits of roots on the top.

If you remove the outer husk and soak it roots down in water until you start to see shoots, you can plant them as some free onion starters and reuse them!

There needs to be an ESRB-type organization in charge of spice-level certification. Sometimes you get something labelled 'spic' and it just tastes like there was once spice involved in the process. Then you get other shit that melts your goddamn face off, and that's coming from a self-described spice lord who eats habaneros like candy.
I'm just saying, scoville units don't work as a standard unless everyone is advertizing it, but if you've every tried all the different ramen and "maybe korean, but also ramen" types, you may know what I'm talking about. It could actually work, in the same way Dave Portnoy did his thing with "one bite" pizza reviews.

Alright you foodie faggots. Its finally happened. There's a youtuber named ChefPK. In addition to having done more Food Wars recipes than anyone on the internet, he also did a complete reaction series to the entirety of Food Wars. But for copywrite reasons, the series was removed years ago. Well, it's back. It's on his patreon, and if you like anime, cooking, and authoritative reactions, check it out.

This is THE way to watch Food Wars
patreon/com/chefpk

>>8383
>Food Wars
Nah, I pass.
When you have an East European granny from the countryside cooking online I would be more interested.

>>8384
Suit yourself. There will be a weekly cytube series

https://youtube.com/shorts/fAcLHXdxQW4?si=248s1sKTQ4Sgvgg2
While a slight variation on several styles, this is a new one not previously considered Pleat gained

Ah yes, food.

>>8254
>>8251
I forgot to update the pickle project!
Actually there was a reason why I never updated. They sucked.
The pickling process went perfectly, the flavor was fantastic, but the pickles were extremely soft. Apparently I was supposed to add bay leaves or leaves from an olive tree. There is a chemical in them that keeps the pickles crunchy.
I thought bay leaves was for flavor, but it is actually to keep them crunchy and firm.

Also, apparently Calcium Chloride is used to keep pickles crunchy when pickling, but shouldn't use it when fermenting
>Some people advise that if you want to try calcium chloride with fermented pickled products, add it into the jars when you are actually canning the pickles or sauerkraut, not into the vat during the fermentation process.

Oh well, it was a cheap test, I'll try again later but with a lot of bay leaves.
At the very least, my process was spot on.

Idk who needs to hear this but that’s what an Italian sub is supposed to look like

That's it. From now on, I'll only cook with extra virgin olive oil and butter. I can't believe I ate so many seed oils.

>>8546
use the seed oils you have leftover to make into soap.
coconut oil, lard, and tallow are good too. though that is not quite true either because it depends on how the animal was raised. ideally grass fed for optimal beef fat. cattle grains are leftover things from processing seed oil typically.

>>8546
This.

>>8547
If you can, smoke your fats

>>8549
Like, in the oven?

>>8547
Retard, olive oil gets saturated or some shit at high temperatures, I forgot exactly what but basically it turns into a shitty unhealthy fat if you cook with it. The entire point of virgin/extra virgin olive oil is that it's cold-pressed, so it's never heated up during processing, keeping it good.

If you're gonna use it for cooking just buy cheap non-virgin olive oil. It will literally not make a difference after you heat it up. Or even better, use something like coconut oil, which IIRC handles high temperatures great. Or animal fats.
I think even sunflower oil is healthier when cooked than olive oil. Olive oil is only good when not heat-treated, that's why you buy virgin oil in the first place.

>>8551
I'm banned from my local supermarket for unvirgining all the virgin olive oil.

>>8550
Thats one way, you can get a smoke tray that works in any oven or grill, cold smoking (no heat source) or hot.

>>8551
uh, I don't understand what you are complaining about, I never said to cook with low saturated oils. I generally advise against it actually, because yes, it basically turns into plastics at basically any cooking temp. It is why I advise against using avocado oil and olive oil and a few others because even though they are healthy if purchased fresh.
Good for making into mayonnaise and salad dressing, not much else.

pan oil is best with lard, tallow, or coconut oil. castor oil should be good too, but doesn't have much of a flavor.

>>8551
Hmmm...I looked it up. Gonna use butter from now on since coconut oil is too expensive where I live.

>>8556
>castor oil
please, no one try this.
With the exception of vegetable shortening, if the fat you're cooking with is solid at room temperature, you're safe. American 'olive oi' is a cheap lie, just like walmart bread. Peanut oil is how you weed out the weak ones, but is second only to avocado oil for smoke point. You can keep butter from burning by mixing equal volume of olive oil (even the cheap shit). Canola/vegetable oil is how you get soibois.

>>8556
>castor oil
DO NOT INGEST IT
Before the pharmaceutical companies seized the market, I am talking 80/100 years ago, castor oil was universally used as a strong laxative to relieve constipation.

Addendum to >>8558
>the fat you're cooking with is safe
Beef tallow or lard should be refrigerated, especially if previously smoked. Cooking oil is among the only shelf-stable solid-fat.

>>8560
I think castor oil was like that back in the day because it wasn't filtered as good as it is now. The way they filter it now is with diatomaceous earth in a multi-stage press.
If it is not filtered, the leftover proteins from the castor bean will for sure cause diarrhea (not necessarily a bad thing).
Also, a lot of people freak out from 'but ricin protein kills!' argument. It really doesn't. Chewing up and eating castor beans never hurt anyone, and castor oil never hurt anyone. Supposedly only soviet russia managed to kill somebody with ricin. The ricin protein is very very fragile, and the simple act of pressing castor beans to extract the oil destroys that harmful protein.
Castor oil at the beginning of the industrial revolution was used to lubricate engines because it is stable to a very high temp (about 500f). They stopped using it because it left a residue, but kept it as an oil additive for a while longer with the idea that the residue helps seal imperfect valves.

So no, I don't see what the problem is to cook with castor oil. It is quite unlike any other plant extracted oil because it is (the only?) source of ricinoleic acid. One of the only liquid fatty acids that is as stable as tallow.
Never deepfried anything with it before, but I have used it as cooking oil without issue.

>>8556
>uh, I don't understand what you are complaining about,
Sorry I'm dumb, I meant to reply to >>8546