/ub/ - Überhengst

Becoming better


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cooking.jpg
Cook your food
Anonymous
rwl6A
?
No.88
93 102 330 852 2581 2924 2934 3284 3322 3584 4605
One problem plaguing a lot of people these days, especially burgers like myself, is that many people eat out at restaurants too much instead of preparing home cooked meals. Eating out is frequently both more expensive and less healthy for you than a home cooked meal. Furthermore, many people live with a limited library of meals that they know how to prepare and don't realize the culinary possibilities that are right in front of them.

The purpose of this thread is to try to break that habit of eating out and to make cooking at home become the norm in our lives. Please share meal ideas and how to prepare them here. All meals are welcome, although preferably we should post meals that are easy to prepare so that novice cooks will not be intimidated by the prospect of preparing them for themselves. Even simple sandwiches are fair game. Sometimes that may mean cutting corners with pre-made mixes instead of preparing everything from scratch.

Remember that the goal isn't necessarily to post the most inexpensive meals or the healthiest meals, although those meals are certainly very welcome. The goal is to encourage people to dust off their kitchen appliances and flex their atrophied cooking muscles. I realize that this opens the door to culinary nightmares like /tg/'s infamous meat-bread, but so be it. Let's get cooking!
244 replies and 138 files omitted.
Anonymous
2ee3cc2
?
No.4243
>>4242
Wow Im drunk, Ill translate in a few
Anonymous
f989b50
?
No.4247
Based thread
Anonymous
f1e0957
?
No.4349
20210919_142904.jpg
20210919_134911.jpg
20210919_135251.jpg
Hello again fam, how's your cooking? Theres plenty of Youtube cooking shows, and a deep dive is highly advisable. I cant count how many new and unique flavor combinations Ive tried, and theres a wealth pf talent available at your fingertips.
But today, both because I just completed it for the second time (the first was delicious, but Im still developing my technique) I'd like to draw your attention to the unquestionably most delicious sandwich Ive ever tasted:
The short rib Chuck Roast Grilled Cheese sandwich.
First premiered in the early 2000's and quickly earning the proprietors the title of "Best grilled cheese in brooklyn", this sandwich is an event. It takes a bit of prep work to pull off, not least of which is making a red-wine braised Chuck Roast (and having leftovers).
If I could force you to eat this sandwich, I would. All credit to NOT ANOTHER COOKING SHOW (really, an awesome channel for anyone who likes cooking/experimenting, Ive made about a dozen of his recipes, and he hasnt failed me yet).
https://youtu.be/7wR8cVyrD48
and the short rib (the recipe works well with most semi-fatty cuts of beef)
https://youtu.be/9EHmJydeue0
Please, for the love of all that is delicious, set aside the time to make this sandwich, it will change how you think about a sandwich.
And, gruyere is often hard to find, but recently my local walmart started stocking it so hopefully itll be available, its by the smoked gouda. Its worth getting the right cheese, trust me. Couldnt find any buttercress, so I substituted spring mix.
There's not much else to say. Literally unbelievably good. Cheers
Anonymous
f1e0957
?
No.4350
Whoops! THAT was NOT the right link, my bad
https://youtu.be/jdvSgfrI3Cw
Anonymous
f1e0957
?
No.4351
Quick overview
Sourdough bread (fresh, unsliced)
thin layer of blackberry preserve (homemade)
layer of fine grated gruyere
leftover chuck roast, shredded
pickled red (or yellow) onions
Watercress (or spring mix) lettuce
layer of fine grated gruyere
Sourdough bread

Its a grilled cheese, so youll be toasting the bread while melting the cheese, and adding a thin layer of (recommended) garlic and olive oil aoli (mayo)
I cant... I cant even. This sandwich is so good, it causes mental fatigue. Seriously.
Anonymous
ede5103
?
No.4352
Started premaking my spaghetti bolognese in plastic containers.
When it's time to eat I microwave it, then put it into bread with some sandwich filler of the day and eat it.
Good shit.
Anonymous
3f6d748
?
No.4387
4388 4390 4395
File (hide): D726EE9FA42375D1FA3B420C2CC6FC08-2356579.mp4 (2.2 MB, Resolution:270x480 Length:00:01:34, VEGETARIAN DOG GONE WRONG.mp4) [play once] [loop]
VEGETARIAN DOG GONE WRONG.mp4
Vegetarian dog gone wrong.
>Some say eating meat is unhealthy, but ground beef alone contains lots of vitamins and essential minerals, which people not eating meat, are really missing out on, as some animals survive exclusively on meat.
>Also fish contains lots of vitamin D, and beef liver contains the most in Zinc, along with many other vitamins and essential minerals, to strengthen the natural immunity system, and fight off viruses, better than any vaccines.
>PS: I tried strict vegetarian for 7 months while doing hard physical work, and I only got weaker with lots of headaches; It just wasn't for me.
Anonymous
5bbab8e
?
No.4388
4389
>>4387
It's not meat that's unhealthy, it's the quantity that some people eat it in that's unhealthy. Meat should be eaten in moderation.
Anonymous
3f6d748
?
No.4389
4392
>>4388
I totally disagree. My whole life, from the very moment my mother switched from teat to solid food, has been on beef, poultry and fish; rice, beans and greens, were and are just to get some variety in taste.
By the doctors and government' standards I should be dead or with terminal cancer. I'm still here and better than ever.
Anonymous
2544a70
?
No.4390
4391 4395
>>4387
I feel sorry for the dog. Forcing the dog to only eat, and only serve, unhealthy vegan food should be a crime. I hope the dog finds a good home or that the owner realizes she is torturing it.
Anonymous
3f6d748
?
No.4391
4395
>>4390
>I feel sorry for the dog.
I agree, that cunt deserves to be badly mauled.
Anonymous
5bbab8e
?
No.4392
4395
>>4389
You probably haven't been eating it in excess then. A lot of people do.
Anonymous
af700e4
?
No.4395
4406
Spoilered
<Attempt all sauces that spark your fancy
<Try to create what you enjoy
>>4392
>Not having your 32 oz Prime Rib Dry Aged Steaks for each of your twelve recommended meals a day.
The Burger is one who braves the walmarts, reaches for the highest of shelves, and between the deepest of couch cushions. Where freedom rings, grills rising to meat their counterparts, of the meats yet unexplored by man and meat of the future today. Supersized, succulent, work spanning generations of effort.
Despite the interference and poisoning the craft continues.
>>4387
>Actual Dog
Oh not a hotdog
>>4390
>>4391
What you see is a sick person. Terribly sick and ill. Probably longs for universal healthcare as well, and ancient wisdom knows that death is the cure all.
But a bitch sometimes requires discipline.
Her on the other hand well...
Enough of thots and whores when on can have thoughts and hors.
Anywho burgers and mares, unlike Burgers and mares, is a meaty treat to behold. Pic related.
Anonymous
5488e66
?
No.4406
4407
20211006_192520.jpg
20211005_195657.jpg
>>4395
This man understands the way of burger
Also, heres the latest chuck roast grilled cheese roundup. Seriously, best sandwich youve ever had. DO IT
(also, some extra credit personal-sized bell pepper lasagnas, cuz they too were delicious)
Anonymous
5488e66
?
No.4407
>>4406
https://tasty.co/recipe/lasagna-stuffed-peppers#4ldradw
Unironically best lasagna ever. Consisting of:
San Marzano tomato sauce (from a can its easy AF, boiling fresh takes longer buts soooooo better; about 30 min the first way and up to 90 for the latter)
Bolognese meat sauce (about 4 hours to prep, needs a blender)
Ricotta and herb cheese blend (dude like 5 min with a spoon)
Hella parmesean, salt, and pepper
Lotsa la'sagner noodo (Al'dente - the italian practice of undercooking the noodle, and then finishing the noodle cooking in the sauce rather than the noodle-boil, causing the noodle to absorb the sauce in its finishing state.)
Tl;dr, stop cooking the noodle at the 4/5 mark, dunk it in COLD water, and then add to the sauce when the sauce is 5 minutes from finish.
Weekday and bolognese recipes are on Not another cooking channel as well as Chef John as well as others Im sure.

Seriously, you can cook this shit too. All Im doing is following directions, and every time I learn about flavor and experience, and now I have a small growing list of things that all my ppl are excited to eat, rain or shine, any day of the week.
Anonymous
55b30f6
?
No.4504
ChickenSupper.jpeg
Made this the other night by baking bone-in chicken thighs and mixing bacon with store-bought pasta sauce. The chicken turned out great, but the bacon was a mistake because it contrasted too much with the flavor. Plus, I screwed up with the baked potato by baking it alongside the chicken; it was way too hard.
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4576
4577
IMG_20211128_130213.jpg
Going into the oven now.
Anonymous
54a4a34
?
No.4577
4578
>>4576
I generally don't like plastic in with my food while its cooking like that, but it should be fine... I think.
should add butter to it. stick slices of butter around the legs and wings, pour melted butter overtop, and stick a half-cube inside. Will make it juicer and tender and amazing.
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4578
4580
>>4577
>plastic
I'm not the cook but I can testify that's not plastic but part of the vegetable filling.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4580
4581
Screenshot_20211129-061521_DuckDuckGo.jpg
>>4578
Care to revise your statement?
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4581
4582
twilight_sparkle_thinking_by_90sigma-d7re6g3.png
>>4580
As soon as the cookess wakes up I'll be back to you.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4582
4584
>>4581
Its not a problem, those are made from heat-resistant nylon
But yeah, theres plastic there. To avoid any chemical leeching, replace with butcher's twine.
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4584
4585
225595__UNOPT__safe_twilight-sparkle_screencap_scrunchy-face_spoiler-s03e11.png.png
>>4582
I'm back. After some questioning and no straight answers, I must admit that there is a possibility that I burnt myself when I assured that wasn't any plastic involved, worst yet, I believed the vegetable filling without a second thought. That said, I found no plastic in her garbage bin.
Disclaimer: I was on my way to her home when that picture was forwarded to me.
F
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4585
>>4584
>facetious AF
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4586
4587
Faggots
https://youtu.be/bj-f_Uq7bcA
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4587
pinkamena_diane_lecter__silence_of_the_ponies_by_dan232323-d9d1ref.jpg
>>4586
>1:10 of oven, damn.
After watching that raw body parts preparation I'm wondering how some people have the gall to criticize Hannibal Lecter.
Just to be on the safe side, I'll stick to traditional meatballs.
Anonymous
b5f6223
?
No.4599
4600
1336614.gif
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=h2tY_qqTk-E
<On fermented mares milk

>Kumis, that is, mares' milk...
>is moderately bitter.
>It bites the tongue like a harsh wine,
>and after remains a flavor of almond milk.
>It provides a great deal of internal human joy
>and even intoxicates weak heads.

Alcoholic, Chocolate or Directly mares' milk is one of life's delicacies.
<A Great Deal of Human Joy
No wonder Genghis Khan could conquer so much so fast.
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4600
4604
>>4599
>No wonder Genghis Khan could conquer so much so fast.
According to the video, the faggot got a knack for drinking blood.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4603
20211206_191118.jpg
>fresh homemade chiggun-thigh tendies
Anonymous
b5f6223
?
No.4604
>>4600
Speaking of blood, here's a fun food thing. It's the equivalent to an egg and can replace it in some recipes such as in breads.

All the foods look very good.
Anonymous
3eca2f2
?
No.4605
4607
>>88
A neat website: https://based.cooking/
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4607
>>4605
Their bolognese is decent, but inferior. Ill check thenother recipes, but so far it seems like a good source for baseline recipes
Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4616
poh-sow-seeds-4-P-59-656x1024.jpg

Anonymous
3f20db4
?
No.4621
25.png

Anonymous
b5f6223
?
No.4649
Sugar may prevent yeast from properly doing its job. Going to do some tests later in a month or week or something.
Anonymous
1d24e74
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No.4678
heathier-food-potatoes-what-did.jpeg

cooking oils
Anonymous
54a4a34
?
No.4680
4684
full.jpeg
oilchart.png
Some stuff I learned about cooking oils recently.
I would consider this to be extremely important and everyone should at least take into consideration for maintaining health.
https://besynchro.com/blogs/blog/7770981-oxidized-oils-is-your-cooking-oil-toxic
I can't say much for this specific website, but it checks out my sniff test based on my soap making experience, my long time cooking enthusiast self, and cross-referencing with other websites on the matter.

Oils processed from various foods (olives, seeds, nuts, grains...) break down/oxidize/go rancid over an amount of time, generally on the order of months to a few years. How fast they go rancid depends on temperature, humidity, exposure to light, and probably what they are being used to cook with.
All of these oils are composed of various different fatty acids that do different things at different temperatures or exposed to different chemicals (like when making soap or cooking with garlic or whatever). Some oils will last longer than others or start burning at higher temperatures because their fatty acid chemical makeup is different. It is impossible to get an oil that is composed of only one of these fatty acids, so we just have to make due with overall oil composition.

Common street knowledge is that deep fried shit is shit for your health.
Most of the time this is correct. The main reason is that restaurants reuse the oil over and over again at relatively high temperatures. They typically use canola oil, corn oil, or some other similar vegetable oil that won't burn at the higher temps. They (likely) won't change the oil out until the oil is far past its rancid state. It is oil that has gone rancid that is very unhealthy, not strictly because something is deep fried. Oil goes rancid much quicker at higher temperatures.

How do you know if oil has gone rancid?
As near as I can tell the only way most people test is if it smells bad. I'd also say throw the oil away if its past the "best by" date. Or maybe burn the oil in an oil lamp or your diesel truck or generator instead of throwing it in the dumpster. Companies processing the oils test for the totox value, or probably other similar tests.
http://www.andersonintl.com/oil-oxidation-how-to-measure-it-and-why-it-matters/
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/B9780081004357000162

What happens when you consume rancid oil?
Cancer, among other things.
>Plant-based oils, such as safflower oil and sunflower oil, contain plenty of polyunsaturated fatty acids (PUFAs) which oxidize easily in the presence of light, heat, or oxygen in the air. Many of the oxidation products of PUFAs have been reported to have cytotoxic (toxic to cells) and mutagenic (capable of changing the DNA) effects. Cytotoxic and mutagenic substances are commonly known to increase the risk of cancer, and indeed, a 2002 study published in the journal Anticancer Research reported that rancid oils not only appear to be involved in tumor promotion but also in tumor initiation. This study was carried out on mice, and rancid corn oil was used as the source of spoiled fatty acids.
https://www.healwithfood.org/bad-for-you/rancid-oil.php

Technically my research into this subject started when I started making soap. One of the first things I came across was the "dreaded yellow spots" that appeared in my bars of soap. Turns out those come from rancid oils being used, and the soap making process does not preserve the oils in anyway either. So I learned of the relationship between temp, humidity, and age of oils to how quickly they go rancid. I just didn't make the connection of rancid soap to rancid cooking oils until recently, because I'm a dumbass.

In the soap making world, canola, sunflower, safflower, grapeseed, and corn oils are considered crap to use because they go rancid rather quickly. You can often find these oils in beard oils too, not because they are good for the skin or hair, but because they are cheap filler oils used to make more money with.
Once upon a time, crysco was developed as an attempt to make cottonseed oil last longer for the soap manufacturers at the time. Since then, they instead moved away from cottonseed oil and instead focused on a vegetable shortening product to replace lard with for baking. Lard and tallow are extremely long-lasting oils that are high in saturated fatty acids, along with most other oils that are solid at room temperature.
One time I had an FDA paid "expert" dietitian try to tell me that saturated fatty acid oils like coconut oil was unhealthy, specifically calling out coconut oil. These people want you to get cancer and die. But (you) already knew that, right?

As near as I can tell, "saturated fats are unhealthy" is a hit to promote the canola oil and vegetable oil industry paid for by companies like pillsbury (they make crysco) to the FDA.

Even though olive oil is really healthy, at this point I would not recommend using it for pan frying much of anything because of how easily it burns and breaks down. Grapeseed oil is really healthy too but goes rancid rather quickly, but at least it does not burn at lower temps. I would recommend frying everything in either coconut oil or lard. Lard is really good because you can make sure your guests are not islamist shitheads or kikes.

tl;dr don't buy cooking oils that are a few months away from the "best by" or expiration date. Throw away smelly oils. The shit causes cancer.
Anonymous
617788a
?
No.4681
RUq01fkDinE.jpg
I got an instapot and finally figured out how to make amazing refried beans. The canned stuff is inedible and makes me sick now, so i had to learn how to do this so i could eat all the kinds of meals i had growing up. Also been making pinto bean hummus or bean dip

Also got a breadmaker and it's super easy, just drop ingredients in and you have a fresh hot loaf 3 hours later. I make grilled tuna and cheese sandwiches with it, and PB toast and stuff.
Anonymous
1d24e74
?
No.4683
cat-watches-two-much-master-chef-mouse-garnish.jpeg

Anonymous
54a4a34
?
No.4684
4709
1964733.png
1399629.png
>>4680
I feel like I should clarify a couple things a bit.
I am not saying grapeseed oil or olive oil are less healthy than coconut oil or lard or other highly saturated fats. I am saying because grapeseed oil and olive oil go rancid a lot faster, and because of the difficultly to detect when they go rancid, that saturated fats are (probably) overall healthier for you.

I've been noticing that most of the lower saturated fat oils contain TBHQ as an "oxidizer prevention agent". It is a synthetic chemical used to inhibit the oxidization, or oil-going-rancid process. I do not suspect TBHQ is unhealthy in small amounts, but more study should be done than just a passing glance.
Oils (sometimes? most of the time?) have citric acid added to help preserve flavor. I suspect this is what makes rancid oil more difficult to detect with the sniffer, but at least its fine for consumption.

I have rendered my own tallow before from a slab of suet. The suet was 5lbs and I got about 3lbs 11 ounces of useful oil out of it, or about a 75% return of useful oil from the suet. Lard or Tallow will keep a very, very long time, especially if stored in the refrigerator. 5 years? 10? More?

Anyway, that's about all I know about oil longevity and overall health risks.
Just make sure to buy oils that have an expiration date of more than a year in the future.
Anonymous
1d24e74
?
No.4708
this-is-why-landlords-demand-a-security-deposit.jpg

Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4709
>>4684
>I am not saying grapeseed oil or olive oil are less healthy than coconut oil or lard or other highly saturated fats
I'll say it then.
Olive or coconut oil for low-medium temp, bacon fat for medium-high temp, and peanut or avocado oil for high temp.
This is to do with the smoke point of the oils, which when burned make the oils increasingly less digestable, while also negatively impacting the flavor.
'Okay' oils (which I still dont recomend) include grapeseed and sunflower. Avoid canola (genetically modified) and cottonseed (likewise) like the plague. Only use lard if you dont like who you're cooking for, in fact avoid ALL major manufactured 'name brand' oils and shit. They just figured out a way to market what was otherwise waste product from other areas of heavy processing.
Anonymous
bef2d74
?
No.4715
4716 4717 4718
Fellow foodbros is bread pozzed?
I like making my own burgers with mincemeat, salad, eggs, and more but a christian friend said bread is poison full of toxins and impurities.
What can replace bread to make the burger healthy?
Anonymous
a89e619
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No.4716
every_single_time.jpeg
>>4715
>a christian friend said bread is poison
Modern Christians never preserving tradition
Anonymous
fa3f899
?
No.4717
>>4715
Your friend is retarded. Just buy good bread.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4718
>>4715
Bread is no more pozzed than msg.
Which is to say, you can employ shit bread just as you can shit msg. Your results will be shit.
Bread however csn be made fresh anf with little/no artificial ingredients. And its delicious.
Msg is the same way. My metaphor went off the rails, but if you you use fresh, well-sourced msg its like using fresh baked bread.
So no, bread is not pozzed, unless your source is pozzed. And prolly cuz not enough msg.
Anonymous
b5f6223
?
No.4719
File (hide): D9358CB8B6811453664C9648E5B1C868-11572604.mp4 (11.0 MB, Resolution:1920x1080 Length:00:00:30, salt + time = magic.mp4) [play once] [loop]
salt + time = magic.mp4
Cured meats for many meaty needs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUVmunfYeqY
Sous Vide is the shit
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.4754
4757
You read that correctly.
About 6 mos ago I got an Anova Sous Vide circulator (~200) and Ive been experimenting with it extensively ever since.
Imo, it is a must-have, especially for college students who dont have immediate access to a stovetop. Not even kidding, one of these along with a table-top electric burner and a microwave air-fryer is a pretty solid and all-purpose basic setup.
The beauty of Sous Vide - if u havent watched a bunch of youtube videos about it - is that you CANT overcook your meat. It IS possible to cook it for a duration that causes the flavor and texture to be negatively affected, but you have to leave it in for like 2x the necessary cook time.
Ex, I just put in a pork shoulder roast to cook for ~11 hours. At ~22 hours is when the meat will start to degrade,... meaning as long as I dont forget about it for an extra 11 hours, itll be fine (oh no, I have to remember to finish dinner before 11pm). The biggest issue with sous vide is also one of its strengths; since its a long low and slow, as long as you get your timing right on when the food starts (and the thing has programmable delay timers and shit) its not a process that requires monitoring, and if you top the resevior off you shouldnt need to replace any evaporated water. The length of time is really the only 'downside', and its minimal with a little bit of planning.
And for something you WONT hear anywhere else:
as a patrician aficionado with a taste for Blue Rare beef, sous vide is even BETTER. Because of the temperature control and slow heating, it is IDEAL for getting the PERFECT blue rare outta your meat! Use only whole, fresh cuts for safety and be sure to dry brine (cover with salt in the fridge for a day or two) and sear the outside, but you can heat the inside to a precise 125 throughout, giving you that glorious almost-purple flesh that only truest carnivores know. Seriously though, the more you cook meat, the more you render protein insoluble. Youll never know how nutrient dense and energizing a minimally cooked steak is until you try it. Recommended that you slice super thin (<1/2"), and pair it with some horseradish cream, or some bearnaise.
Anonymous
1d24e74
?
No.4756
4757
88.jpg
>How To Make Italian Neapolitan Pizza With A Home Oven [Recipe + Tutorial]
https://www.rooshv.com/how-to-make-italian-neapolitan-pizza-in-a-home-oven-recipe-tutorial
Page with plenty of pictures and videos, too long to fully screenshot.
Anonymous
b5f6223
?
No.4757
1463516__questionable_twilight+sparkle_princess+luna_princess+celestia_female_pony_mare_simple+background_alicorn_blushing_open+mouth_edit_twilight+s.gif
>>4754
Can confirm.
Sues Vide Turkey, actually use it all the time for all the things.
>>4756
Speaking of Pizza an Ohio style pizza with extremely mild provolone (fresh or cooked or both) is excellent. I'd recommend mixing cheeses, but provolone somehow works extra ordinarily well.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.5490
5550
Screenshot_20220515-185150_DuckDuckGo.jpg
BLTs.
You prolly know about blts. Im gonna give u my tips.
1. Avocado, or avocado sauce (>pic related)
One, the other, or both. Include.
2. Bacon, oven cooked, 400° for 20 minutes
3. Tomato, ~3/8" slices. Avo sauce or lemon pepper, non-negotiable.
4. Lettuce, 2-3 fresh layers (nothing wilted)
5. Cheese (optional); something with punch, a stronger flavor. Avoid american, swiss, muenster, etc. Blue cheese, xtra sharp cheddar, et al advised in balanced quantities.
6. Habajero aoli on the inside of one or both breads, depending on individual tolerance (ghost pepper aoli recommended)
7. Bread; fresh baked pullman loaf, whether brioche, regular, or sourdough.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.5550
>>5490
Cilantro Avocado Lime sauce
https://youtube.com/shorts/rtFYXlNJ1yI?feature=share
https://youtu.be/oIKwRRR21jU
This stuff is next level. I keep putting it on different shit, and it continues to perform. Srsly, this is a game changing sauce.
For smaller batches, recommeded 2 bunches of cilantro to 1 bunch scallion and chives. Also, substitute habaneros for jalapenos. Its only hotter if u keep the flesh in, dont be a baby.
Anonymous
0a531fe
?
No.5718
food.jpeg
Friendly reminder that OP's food tastes better.
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.5725
>The meta of smash-burgers

Theres plenty on YT and others. Look them up. What they dont tell you:
1. No such thing as too thick
2. The thicker the burger, the thicker the onions
3. Fancy buns
4. Profit?

1. Most guides say 3-4 oz patties.
Horseshit. When ur making a smashburger, its about the crust on the patty. Make the patty as thick as you want, as long as its cooked fully. On one side, nothing changes. On the other side, thickness of patty/onions is crucial.
2. Recipe smashburgers tend to be 1/4"-1/2". Fuck off with that shit.
Smash-burgers can be almost any size, but I advise against >8oz/patty. Beyond that, it becomes less anageable.
But
The thicker the patty, the longer it takes to brown.
This is WHY the thicker the patty, the thickrr the onion.
You want your onions thic ENOUGH that your onions are semi carmelized AS the browning on your patty is finishing. There may be funky trchniques, but my solution is thickrr onions.
3. Oh come on
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.5726
Spoilered
Spoilered
>pics related
Tonight's iteration. ~6oz 23/72 ground, ~3/4" finish, crusty outside and juicy inside
1 swiss, 1 pepperjack slices, plus the onions.
Oh, also the bacon, shallots, chives, thyme, rosemary, paprika, and of course the king of flavor: msg
Walmart ciabatta buns
Anonymous
56d764e
?
No.5727
IMG_2022-07-06-20-19-44-516.jpg
Clarification: the bacon, shallots, etc were in a compound butter including bone marrow
It looks weird in context, but its delicious
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5748
5749 5762
IMG_2022-07-16-13-10-26-186.jpg
IMG_2022-07-16-14-26-45-343.jpg
Got about 20lbs of heirloom tomatoes for about $25. It pays to partner with ur local growers.
Took a few hours but cut, quarterrd, and cored, I got most of a tamale pot full.
Lets see how muh sauce game has developed
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5749
>>5748
I should indicate the tomatoes were 'blemish' grade, requiring a paring knife and a couple hourse to prune he undesirable element.
But every recipe - metaphysical or not - requires some form of sacrifice; usually time/effort, but occasionally more Blood for the blood God!
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5750
5762
Spoilered
Spoilered
Pic of boiling the matos
Day 2
So with about 20lbs of tomatoes, Im looking at about 4-5 quarts of sauce, and about a gallon of tomato juice/stock, both of which are freezable.
1 quart is sufficient for 5 adults (trust me), amounting to the majority cost of such meals (excepting chicken parm, which is whats up for tonight).
25 for the box
5 for 2 lbs san marzanos
3 for fresh basil and oregano
33 total - check em
So for 33 I have the sauce fpr 5 meals, at $6.6/each, and noodles are cheap.
Plan your meals, anon. Dont turn over a new leaf and do it all the time, but start.
Pick a day of the week, or mark dates on your calendar. Not only is it comparatively cheap/comparable to purchased sauce, in this case, but the quality is vastly superior in both flavor and nutrition.
Do it. And speaking of
Anonymous
0a531fe
?
No.5762
>>5748
>>5750
Wonderful!!!
Anonymous
0a531fe
?
No.5763
Know the food you eat Dont put everything in your body - your body is your temple.mp4
>Know the food you eat
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5805
5806
20220801_185126.jpg
20220801_190110.jpg
Meanwhile, more smas burgers for me and mine.
Funny thing, providing for a household; you dont GET to maintain false ideas and perceptions, because that leads to coNsequence for others, and no dutiful HoH will abide THAT.
Anonymous
8992542
?
No.5806
5807
>>5805
>HoH
HoH SiS?
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlO36R_aZuTBhrIf7f34E6e1u8-57t55o
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5807
5808
>>5806
Yes, Head of Household. Its a responsibility; you'll figure it out (hopefully) when you get there.
Anonymous
8992542
?
No.5808
5809
>>5807
I hope your family appreciates you and the work you put in, friend.
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5809
>>5808
Thank you. I have confidence and confirmation that they do, but it was nice to hear from (you). Unironically, and all kidding aside.
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5817
20220807_082124.jpg
Garlic Brisket Point, cooked Confit with about 30 cloves of garlic. Total cook time, ~18 hours.
Very much NOT southern bbq, it was entirely an experiment. Has a mild but distinct garic flavor. 7/10
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5855
5870
20220814_142610.jpg
For tonight's cook, Im reinventing the breakfast smash burger. And it's all thanks to Guga from Gugafoods/sousvideeverythingwho has effectively cracked the code behind dorito powder. Heres the measurements, pastad

* Doritos Dust Recipe *
1 cup Cheddar Cheese https://amzn.to/3zWyhr5
1/4 cup White Cheddar https://amzn.to/3zXbSd2 1/4 cup Buttermilk Powder https://amzn.to/3pj1N5g
2 tbsp Nutritional Yeast https://amzn.to/3dspXro
1 tsp MSG
2 tsp Fine Sea Salt
2 tbsp Romano Cheese https://amzn.to/3C3TOAB
2 tsp Smoked Paprika
1 tbsp Onion Powder

Having made the mix I can say:
Yeah, thats pretty much it. Theres a delay to flavor because its a dry powder, but I have no doubt this is close enough to what it claims to be to pass, when hydrated/oiled and greased.

The plan:
Bun
Spicy mayo
Bacon
Lettuce
Ketchup
Egg Patty (2 egg) cooked with a dash of ponzu soy sauce
Dorito Hash Brown
Smoked ham lunchmeat x3
Cheese
Sausage smash patty
Onions
Country Gravy
Bun (ciabatta roll, both toasted)
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5870
20220817_182820.jpg
20220817_190202.jpg
>>5855
Alright, so the 13-layer breakfast sandwich didnt work right, it still needs some quantity tweaking. But I learned alot, so tonight was the x layer breakfast sandwich.
It goes:
Toasted bun
Ghost pepper mayo
2x smoked ham slices
Doroto cheese dust
Shredded hashbrown patty
2-egg patty
American cheese
Sausage patty
Bun
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5966
5967
>>5950 →
Based doggo.
Having said, I made a roast yesterday, and some best sammiches today. Idk about the rest, but I made mine spicy. Holy fuck, there is no chance I can eat this in one sitting. Its not a question of hunger, its a question of spice and flavor. Like, one literally needs to take a break between bites. Its phenomenal. To all who are reading, I would feed you this sammich. Its unironically life-changing (minimally, but still).
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5967
Okay
>>5966
And
>>5950 →
Not the doggo I was intending to reference, but I'll leave it.
Gimme a minute to properly reference.
But srsly, this sandwich is the best. Its so many levels. Each bite requires a moment to process and decompress. Its literally too much. My lads, I am wont to make this sandwich for (you). Arguments and dispositions aside, please let me make this for you. Its... unreal.
Anonymous
1e49d74
?
No.5968
20220829_185634.jpg
20220829_191604.jpg
20220829_194541.jpg
20220829_195433.jpg
Attempt 2
Anonymous
6ac1827
?
No.5998
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=au_eM0oovbI

watch?v=au_eM0oovbI
Beef and old man cattle rancher.
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6047
meal2.jpg
meal4.jpg
meal5.jpg
meal6.jpg
meal7.jpg
Hungry enough?
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6080
6092
1 (43).jpg

Anonymous
92c870d
?
No.6092
6111
image.png
image.png
image.png
>>6080
Could swear I see a face in it
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6110
6114 6116
1 (32).png

Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6111
>>6092
Damn! You're right.
Anonymous
555300e
?
No.6114
6115
>>6110
Whose great granddad on facebook did you get this from?
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6115
1197.jpg
>>6114
C'mon, don't be mean and eat healthy.
Anonymous
6ac1827
?
No.6116
6118 6119
1566507614751-1.jpg
>>6110
>If someone suggested bottling tap water they would have been a laughing stock.
Well Achktually-
>Be Grand Pappy Anon
>Younger Grand Pappy Anon
>Not that young whippersnapper.
>Be Anon
>You got yourself a family and a place to live.
>You need some dough because a family gots to eat, drink and everything else.
>Having experienced life most people are fucking retards.
>Just the average sucker doing dumb things who have to repeat classes at the school of hardknocks.
>Lot of 'em have more money than they know what to do with.
>They want somethin' opulent but affordable.
>You got just the taste they want.
>A bottle of imported (from the water company) mineral enriched (the water has stuff in it and that's good enough) right from spring of life (you need water to live) by tapping into the water aquafier (water company gets some of it from there) packaged for your impeccable taste.
>Fill up bottles
>Slap a thicc label on 'em
>Tell the story
>Have 'em give it a try
>They can taste the refreshing qualities of this product.
>They demand to buy it.
>Have necessities on the table for the family.

For you I'll show the secret recipe which garnered enough capital so you can enjoy at home.
Step one live somewhere where the water isn't complete shit.
Step two turn on the faucet
Step three enjoy, but remember fifties water was just built different back in the day.
Anonymous
555300e
?
No.6118
>>6116
That looks awesome. How do you build these? I have tins of beans stored. Not many yet.
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6119
>>6116
>Step three enjoy, but remember fifties water was just built different back in the day.
>water
Yup, in the 50s no anticonceptives or cocaine in the water for sure. I don't know about flouride.
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6133
bacon.jpg
pankakes.gif

Anonymous
5e6a529
?
No.6139
img_7511.jpg

Anonymous
a17b945
?
No.6140
6141 6142
Paver Sandwich 1.jpg
paver sandwich 2.jpg
Paver Sandwich 3.jpg
paver sandwich 4.jpg
Paver style Sandwich with Pickled jalapenos fried egg, shredded cheddar cheese, mayo, and sriracha. Bread was soaked in melted clarified butter on both sides before assembling and frying so as to form a hard seal of the bread, as flat and smooth as a paving stone, hence he name "Paver"
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6141
dsc_0013.jpg
>>6140
>Pickled jalapenos fried egg, shredded cheddar cheese, mayo, and sriracha
Too complicated and exotic. What about home fries instead?
Anonymous
6ac1827
?
No.6142
6150
466B01A5430E55B8C31C6779C7E88562-251059.png
>>6140
Looks excellent Anon!
Baked Chicken
Anonymous
6ac1827
?
No.6143
6144
Baking Chicken is a classic, it's generally straight foward different ways to expand the flavor profile and down right simple.
>If you have the time soak the meat the night before hand in buttermilk (lemon and milk if need be) it increases tenderness and moistness. Also you can season this marinade, but you'll still need to add flavor in the oven as well.
Recommended choice of meat.
Thighs are resistant to drying out and have a great flavor. With or without the skin and bones. Ehatever you have works.
Grab a baking tray place the meat on it.
Season as desired.
Bake at 350 until done. I think it's roughly an hour or forty five minutes or something. 40 to 50 minutes.
Also vegetables go great with enough space for them.

Seasonings to try.
Hot sauce, yes baking the chicken and hot sause keeps it tender and moist. Also flavorful.
Salt and pepper. A simple staple.
Lemon pepper.
Lemon on top.
Garlic.
Cheese of choice. Stuff with ham and cheese (cordon blue).
A mix of spices.
Whatever sauces you enjoy.
And more.

The left over fats can be used to pan fry things or added to soups for another meal later on. It has the chicken flavor along with what is put on it.
Anonymous
aaef6c7
?
No.6144
6145
>>6143
Nice recipe.
>The left over fats can be used to pan fry things or added to soups for another meal later on.
Just so other anons who are less experienced know; never mix oils used for plants with those used for meats. You'll get sick.
Anonymous
6ac1827
?
No.6145
6146 6147
>>6144
What do you mean exactly?
Anonymous
09bffef
?
No.6146
>>6145
I know that the oil used after frying onions is very acid, and will ruin the flavor of any food fried by it, so it must be disposed immediately. Other vegetables I don't know.
Anonymous
aaef6c7
?
No.6147
6148
>>6145
When I first learned to cook, I was told to never fry vegetables in oil that had previously been used for meats because it'll ruin the taste and possible give you dysentery.
It's fine to cook meats in oil previously used for veggies, though. At least that's how I was taught and I fry a lot of chicken and fish.
Anonymous
af32f55
?
No.6148
6149
>>6147
Who doesn't want bacon flavored broccoli?
You weirdo.
Anonymous
aaef6c7
?
No.6149
>>6148
I want my broccoli to taste like broccoli, anon. If that's weird, then I'll put down my pony waifu daki for a day and try sharing my spicy chicken tendie recipes sometime.
Anonymous
a17b945
?
No.6150
>>6142
Paver Sandwich
2 slices bread
3 tbs ghee (clarified Butter)
5 pickled jalapenos
1/2 cup shredded cheese
1/2 cup shredded onion
1 egg
2 tbs mayonaise
2 2bs sriracha
Start by melting the ghee in a saucepan at low heat, once liquid soak the bread in it on both sides until surface is slick.
then put the bread on a plate and begin assembling in this order: mayo mixed with sriracha, shredded cheese, onion, jalapenos. Then fry up the egg in the

ghee, by tilting the pan so the liquid runs into the lowest point, cracking the egg almost direstly into the pooled liquid ghee and then covering it with a

pot lid. cook for 45 seconds, then add the fried egg to the sandwich, top with the other slice of bread, and compact it with your hands. Then addi t to the

saucepan and fry it! While frying the sandwich, compress it with something HEAVY with a FLAT bottom like a big jar filled with food or water.... Anything

works as long as it is heavy and flat and clean. This speeds the cooking time and results in the Paver's trademark flat, smooth sealed in shell appearance.
When cheese is melted and the sandwich pressed nearly absolutely flat, it is ready to serve.
Anonymous
8c6cc94
?
No.6189
6190
20221022_163620.jpg
20221022_141620.jpg
20221022_185924.jpg
20221022_195433.jpg
Picked up a rescue pupper a few days ago, and so begins a new chapter in culinary development:
Cooking healthy meals for doggos!
Yesterday's recipe, Velvet Steak.
https://youtu.be/SHcbggp_8bs
Notes:
For doggo safety, soy sauce was replaced with Bragg's liquid aminos, rice wine was swapped with Apple cider vinegar (also Bragg's), and I added about a teaspoon of tumeric, cinnamon, and powdered ginger, to the marinade (all rly good for doggos).
Additionally, I used cubed steaks instead of sirloin, for ease of dicing and chewing.
She fookin loved it.
Velvet Marinade:

2 large egg whites
2 tablespoons cornstarch
3 tablespoons rice wine (sake) Apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon soy sauce Liquid Aminos

It was a little bland (it was my dinner too) cuz doggos are more sensitive to excess spices, even beneficial ones. What I'll do next time is add the tumeric, cinammon, and ginger to some brown rice and leave the velvet marinade per the recipe.
Adding the beneficials to the compound butter may also be an option, since the recipe calls for a korean chili compounds butter (no no for doggo).

Sidenote: With both rescue puppers and kitties, male caregivers can use their chin stubble to simulate the licking sensation of a momma animal, which is incredibly soothing, calming, and aids in the animal bonding.
Anonymous
8c6cc94
?
No.6190
>>6189
So not the right video
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8WiiZR2lfKI
Anonymous
66681f5
?
No.6275
6278
IMG_2488.JPG
IMG_2489.JPG
Thanksgiving supper. The only thing I didn't prepare myself is the croissant. The dessert is bread pudding with bourbon icing. https://www.food.com/recipe/bread-pudding-with-bourbon-sauce-46353
Anonymous
ba9ef15
?
No.6278
>>6275
Steak looks goodddd anon, yum